Thursday, 7 March 2019

Moments of Love


If I am the first to go
I will wait for you in the place
Where the crowns of Angels glow

If I go first because I lost the fight
I will be waiting with the Father
Where the tunnel opens into light

If I am the first one there
I will await you in lush meadows
Where heady perfume fills the air

If I go first and leave you lonely
We will meet again in paradise
In our loved ones company

If I am the first to go, allay your fears
I will be waiting in the place
Where there are no more tears

If I go before you and we must part
I will wait for you in heaven
Where sweet music soothes the heart

If I am first to go we will meet again
In a far better place than this
Where God has banished pain

If I go first through the eternal door
You will find me with the angels
Where suffering is no more

If I am first to go by days or years
You will find me waiting there
Far beyond this vale of tears


If you fall in love
And get your fingers burnt
If you give all of yourself
And end up broken hearted
Don’t withdraw from life
Get back in the saddle
Dip your toe once more into the mire
Don’t deny yourself the chance
To swim again in an ocean of desire
You must be immersed
In an ocean of emotional tempest
To feel alive, to be alive
You must take off your vest
Before May is out
Take a risk, take a gamble
If you don’t buy a ticket
You can never win the jackpot
Its better to open up to danger
Take the knocks and live


Anne stood on a still riverbank at peace
A silent and untroubled location
She knew well that then was the very last time
She would stand in that special place alone
A joining of hearts in the days to come
Meant her life would be forever altered
Remembrances filled her young head
Of when her own council was all she had
No more, since he entered her life
A soul mate and kindred spirit, lover
A friend and yet so much more besides
The other half of her found at long last
And with this new stranger reunited
They will share the love that is requited


She was beautiful, elegant, graceful
She held herself with dignity and poise
Yet was unaware of her own attraction
At school, boys of her age, for want of her
Cried themselves to sleep, she was unaware
She turned heads and yet did not notice
This was not arrogance or even aloofness
She did not see herself as others did
It had always been so, Her innocence
Not that she did not date boys or even men
She was neither virginal nor chaste
She was chased and pursued but not caught
Her heart when given went to the one man
Who saw beneath as only a soul mate can


Suited and booted he sat waiting there
Perched on the edge of his seat, restless
He sat watching the great clock hands moving
Slowly as they ticked off the minutes
His palms sweated and his heart pounded
As he waited beneath the great clock face
He asked himself “what was he doing”?
A blind date what was he thinking, madness
He was too old for blind dates far too old
Why did he agree, what would they talk about
He wasn’t young, he wasn’t cool, he was
More Wilson Philips than Wilson picket
But there she was not too young and lovely
His mouth was dry and he felt a bit faint
“I was terribly nervous about tonight”
She said putting him straight at his ease
She slipped off her coat effortlessly
With an easy grace and elegance
When he took off his coat, he hit his arm
On the wall, hit a woman on the back
And knocked over a lamp, she laughed
Sympathetically and she bad him sit


I have stood in view of the far pavilions
I have stood upon the great lakes shore
I have stood in the heat of the hottest desert
I have stood at Niagara and looked in awe
I have seen many things in my long life
It is my plan to live to see many more
But I know I will never see more beauty
Now I stand beside you of that I’m sure


From the land of the long white cloud
To the land of the midnight sun
I will follow you to the ends of the earth
Because for me you’re the only one


I approached a stranger, a woman
Though not a stranger, some how familiar
In some way, In her pale eyes I saw what?
Recognition? There was something but what
We held each other’s gaze and then she stood
We faced each other in silence, watching
She offered her hand to me smiling
I took it and smiled back, in silence
Her hand soft and gentle lay on my own
Then her fine delicate fingers fitted
Between mine like pieces of a puzzle
Placed to fit perfectly, completing
A picture of lost moments found once more
She spoke and opened an eternal door


The dark lake at midnight reflected back
Her own image, she knew this to be her
Bu why was she at the lake at midnight
Why did she not know how she got there?
And why was she naked one the lake shore
A cool breeze blew off the quiet water
It played gently with her auburn curls
Caressing her velvet skin, arousing her
She felt her nipples erect then shivered
But not from the cold, she felt a passion
Welling up within her, a heat she had
Not felt before and may never feel again
Was everything as it appeared to seem
Or was it in fact just a vivid dream


She fills my thoughts before I sleep
And she’s there again when I awake

I have given my heart without regret
I gave it to her for my hearts sake

We have found an all-embracing love
If I lost her now my heart would break


The most wonderful girl
To ever draw the breath of life
How honored I would be
If she agreed to be my wife
We will navigate together
Through adversity and strife
To be parted from her love
Would cut me like a knife
I will take my place beside her
And we will make ourselves a life

The most wonderful woman
To draw the breath of life
How honored I was that she
Agreed to be my wife
We did navigate together
Through adversity and strife
To be parted from her love
Would cut me like a knife
I took my place beside her
And we have made ourselves a life


Color lives where once was only monochrome
A symphony resounding instead of monotone
Tranquility resides where once the tempest raged
A life both rich and warm like a fine wine aged
A light illuminating what was darkly shrouded
Blue skies prevail when once they were clouded
A world with no more madness as I return to sanity
A life with no more uncertainty only simple clarity
Abiding warmth replacing the chill winters cold
Dormant senses come alive when your hand I hold
Happiness has banished anguish pain and sorrow
Happiness with you yesterday today and tomorrow


At once she understood
When she heard the words
Their meaning clear
And in that instant
Her voice broke
And then in her throat
A lump formed
Behind her eyes
She felt the stinging
And a tear formed
Then rolled down her cheek
Followed by another
Then another
The salt taste was in her mouth
Her shoulders shook
And her mouth opened wide
But know sound escaped
Tears continued down her cheeks
And her nose
Then her legs buckled
And she fell to her knees
In total despair
Now the sound came
With her love lost
Her heart was broken
With her love betrayed
Her heart was discarded
But with all the weeping
She knew inside
That all her tears
Would never extinguish her love


I lie in the first light of dawn
Alone, thinking of her
Wishing her next to me
Feeling her breath
Against my skin
Her breasts
Pressed against me
In the quiet of the new day
Hearing her breathing
I ache for her touch
I long for her soft body
Against mine
In the dawns pale light
And in the darkness
I want her
But she is gone
She is mine no more
Never again will my hands
Caress her form
Never again will I hear
Her murmur and sigh in pleasure
She is mine no more
My angel of the night
Has left my side
And dwells now
With others of her kind


Laughter rings now
In the once empty caverns
Of my heart
Sweet wine now
Replaces the bitter brew
Which once coursed
Through narrow streams
My senses once dulled by time
Are now sharp, concise
Vision like an eagle soaring
Able to hear the beat
Of a humming birds wings
Nostrils filled with exotic scent
Heady and cloying
Exquisite tastes tantalize
An unsophisticated palate
And the reason
For my transformation
My metamorphosis
Is an angel
Who has energized an old man
Invigorated my senses
She has re-awakened me
Stirred my soul
But she will never know
Must never know
How she has affected me
I will view her from a distance
And exchange polite greetings
A warm smile, A familiar nod
I will keep my own council
And I will feel contentment
My love unrequited


I love her with every fibre of me
I love her so much it hurts
I love her in baggy trousers
And I love her in short skirts
I love her when we’re alone
And when we’re with friends
I love her when the day begins
And I love her when it ends
I love her when we’re together
I love her when we’re apart
I love her when we hold hands
And when love making starts
I love her when she’s sexy
I love her when she’s coy
I love her when she makes me mad
And when she brings me joy
I love her at the first caress
And in the afterglow
I love her when we say goodbye
And when we say hello
I love her when she laughs
I love her when she cries
I love her now that I’m alive
And I’ll love her till I die


A new beginning
A brand new start
Starting afresh
With a mended heart
Tentative steps
Best foot forward
Opening myself up
Wondering if I should
But I go anyway
Out into the world
Taking a chance again
On another girl
If my heart gets broken
Maybe this time it will die
Even with that at stake
Still I know I must try


There’s something about a cellist
That really turns me on
A female cellist obviously
In a low cut evening dress
Of emerald green velvet
The great polished instrument
Between her long black stockined legs
Her long brunette hair
Dancing across her naked shoulders
Brushing her alabaster skin
In frantic rhythm to her playing
Sat in the lavish surroundings
Of a grand hotel lobby
A pale willowy figure called Deidre
Purposefully thrashing out a piece by Elgar
Or music to slash your wrists by
To a disinterested audience
Ok its not cellists that turns me on
But there’s something about Deidre
That definitely does
When she’s playing the cello

Friday, 10 August 2018

Another Love Collection


Lover you still do it for me,
You are still my object of desire
Your qualities are plain to see
And you still light my fire


Like wind-blown petals
Of spring blossom
The snow fell in gentle swirls
Quickly settling
On the frozen landscape
To delight the boys and girls
Then I kissed a snowflake
Off her wrinkled nose
As more settled on her curls


The greatest love of all was ours
I felt I could reach up and touch the stars
As my love was return by my sweetheart
And I knew we would never be apart


Lover you still do it for me,
With that wiggle when you walk
Your qualities are plain to see
And you still pop my cork


I knew I had grown
From a boy to a man
When playing in the snow
With boisterous mates
Held less attraction
Than making snow angels
With a pretty girl


“There’s a perfect mate for me
Somewhere in the world” she’d say
Having been let down by love
And she was a lonely girl
In between bouts of desperate love
That left her in a whirl
Until she is all consumed and is again
The broken-hearted lonely girl


It was a perfect love,
But a secret love,
And it was also tainted,
By deceit and betrayal
Sneaking away for
Illicit rendezvous
In the dead of night
To lay with their lover
Til the break of day,
But neither were free
So that was not perfect
And they knew it was wrong
But they couldn’t stop
For that perfect love
Made them feel so alive
They had found their life’s love
And though they knew
Their love was doomed
And tears would be cried
And hearts broken
They held on to their
Perfect imperfect love
Until the bitter end


Lover you still do it for me,
Though you now have a fuller figure
Your qualities are plain to see
And you still pull my trigger


It was a clumsy coming together,
Not a very auspicious start
But no harm done, except to dignity,
As they prized themselves apart
And when they first looked
At their dishevelled counterpart
They liked what they saw
And had left a smile on the others heart


Beneath the marbled skies
Of broken, fractured cloud
And the myriad of winter hues
Coloured with grays and blues
I waited in the bitter frosty air
Feeling the sting of winters bite
Until the moment I saw you
And warmed instantly by the view


Lover you still do it for me,
To me you’re lamb and not mutton
Your qualities are plain to see
And you still push my button


We met at the beach party
On the wide ocean shore
And we danced by moonlight,
As the sea breeze caressed us
It was a magical night
The rapture of the music,
Feeling enraptured by you.
But as special as it was
Dancing with you
On that moonlit beach
It paled to insignificance
Compared to walking
Hand in hand with you
The next day in the sun


He was going on a blind date
And was in a very nervous state
About meeting someone new
And was not sure what to do
What if he was out classed?
What if she left him aghast?

He panicked when he saw her
Because she was even lovelier
He found after he arrived there
She began talking about a Polar Bear
And she rambled on more and more
Which she eventually apologized for
And laughed at his reaction
And explained the reason for her action
Stating they were converse makers
As Polar Bears were real ice breakers


Lover you still do it for me,
I’m as ever under your spell
Your qualities are plain to see
And you still ring my bell


On the hill top she chose to hide
In the home where her parents reside,
Whereas I live down the hillside,
Where my brother and his wife abide.
But though the gulf between us was wide
I still planned to make her my bride


The day I said goodbye to her,
Replays constantly in my mind
And it’s a familiar memory
Of the most destressing kind
I have tried to move on but I left
The love of my life behind


You fill my thoughts before I sleep
And you’re there again when I awake
I have given my heart without regret
I gave it to you for my hearts sake
I have found an all-embracing love
If I lost you my heart would break


Falling in love with someone
Can be a blessing and a curse
But when love is reciprocated
It is a prize beyond worth


Lover, you still do it for me,
Though you are no longer a dolly chick
Your qualities are plain to see
You still scratch my itch and flick my switch


When someone you love
Beyond quantifiable measure
Becomes a memory,
That memory becomes a treasure


When someone falls in love with you
And you with them it is a precious gift
Making every day like Valentine’s Day
Because the gift of love gives you a lift


I met a lady that lit my fire
Dressed in beautiful attire
Who I did instantly admire,
And whose heart I did desire,
But knew I would ever acquire


Life is a question of balance
And love tips the scales
Some give a false accounting
But a steady love never fails


Since entering my life, a symphony plays
When before was only monotone
And colour now lives in every plane and facet
Where once was only monochrome

Friday, 8 June 2018

Love Selection


Life is a question of balance
And love tips the scales
Some give a false accounting
But a steady love never fails


Moonlight glinted
On the frozen land
Of the silent vale
Dressed crisply
In winters cloak.
A shooting star
Flashed across the sky
And I made a wish
Nothing profound
Just a simple thing
But immensely special
Because I wished
For a Christmas kiss
With the girl I loved


The day I said goodbye to her,
Replays constantly in my mind
And it’s a familiar memory
Of the most destressing kind
I have tried to move on but I left
The love of my life behind


The first time I met
My pretty little Miss
We needed mistletoe
To share a Christmas Kiss

Now when I meet
With my pretty Miss
We need no artificial aid
For us to share a kiss

And when we meet
And we share a kiss
Every day is Christmas
For me and my little Miss


He was going on a blind date
And was in a very nervous state
About meeting someone new
And was not sure what to do
What if he was out classed?
What if she left him aghast?

He panicked when he saw her
Because she was even lovelier
He found after he arrived there
She began talking about a Polar Bear
And she rambled on more and more
Which she eventually apologized for
And laughed at his reaction
And explained the reason for her action
Stating they were converse makers
As Polar Bears were real ice breakers


When love was taken from him
He was left bereft, and his heart stopped
And his world was transformed
To a place of ice and snow
Where his cold heart,
Once over flowing with love,
Froze solid in his chest.
So he came to like the winter
With its long cold nights
And short dismal days
He found comfort in the season
And its bitter unfriendly ways
Only Christmas spoiled it for him,
Disrupting his misery,
With its joyous music,
Gaily decorated shops,
And of course its joviality
But then one day out of the blue
As he tried to avoid the jollity
It happened, his heart began to thaw
All because of an Elf
Or to be more precise
A girl in the green tights, pointy shoes,
Brightly coloured tunic and a cute hat
All it took was one smile
For the connection to be made
And she had him body and soul
Although he was unaware
It was a mutual attraction
Because she didn’t show her hand
And played hard to get
She wanted him, but she made him work
To win her, to pursue her
To prove that he was worthy
So it wasn’t until Christmas Eve
That the Elf yielded to the Grinch
And they kissed by the light of the moon
Before attending midnight mass


Beneath the marbled skies
Of broken, fractured cloud
And the myriad of winter hues
Coloured with grays and blues
I waited in the bitter frosty air
Feeling the sting of winters bite
Until the moment I saw you
And warmed instantly by the view


The room was full of Christmas,
Steeped in the essence of the season,
Fragranced with Apple and Cinnamon,
And decorated in festive livery
Fresh cut garlands of evergreens,
Tinsel, candles and coloured lights
And on the peaceful Holy night
With the velvet drapes pulled shut
Against the bitter cold of winter
A perfect couple held each other
In the soft warm glow of firelight
And the cozy room was full of love


I knew I had grown
From a boy to a man
When playing in the snow
With boisterous mates
Held less attraction
Than making snow angels
With a pretty girl


Under the Christmas sky
Their breath plumed
In the frost filled air
And the night sky
Sparkled with stars
Like diamonds sewn
To the curtain of night
And they both sighed
Beneath its majesty
And felt so blessed
To be in love beneath
Such a Christmas sky


Like wind-blown petals
Of spring blossom
The snow fell in gentle swirls
Quickly settling
On the frozen landscape
To delight the boys and girls
Then I kissed a snowflake
Off her wrinkled nose
As more settled on her curls

Icicles hang from the gutters
All on the landscape is still
Ice crystals pattern the glass
Snow stands deep on the sill
Curtains drawn against the dark
As a fire roars in the hearth
While my darling lays in my arms
And love burns hot in my heart


His complete possession was begun
With sensuous dreams erotically spun
Of the redhead with soft alabaster skin
And the silk she was contained within


Now that the one I love is gone
The season has left me bitter
My heart has lost its soulmate
And Christmas has lost its glitter


Grieving for a loved one
Goes hand in glove
Because grief is the price
That you pay for love

Wednesday, 28 February 2018

Loving Christmas Linda – The Final Embrace

It was Christmas Eve and the Hartley household in the village of Clerembeax St Giles was decorated for the season.
A large fresh cut tree stood in the corner, perfuming the room and was festooned by a myriad of assorted baubles, ornaments, tinsel and lights.
Christmas cards of all shapes and sizes adorned every surface and more hung on bright red and green ribbons suspended from the picture rails and bright colored Christmas garlands hung gaily, crisscrossing the ceiling.
Outside, through a break in the dark clouds, a shaft of week winter sunlight shone through the window reflecting off the garlands and painted random patterns on the walls and ceiling.
76-year-old Paul Hartley sat watching TV in his favorite armchair in the front room of the house he shared with his wife and soul mate Linda, the woman he loved more than life itself.
Both of them had been married before, but Linda was the love of his life and they had spent 30 years apart before they found each other again, when their own Christmas miracle happened 25 years before.
And as a result of that Christmas miracle they had had 25 years of incredible happiness.
Paul and Linda had made good use of the years they had together to make up for the lost time when they were apart and as a couple they had had the fullest of lives.
Christmas had always held particular significance for them, it was their favorite time of year and had always been so, because their most meaningful moments together happened at Christmas time, finding love together, losing each other, finding each other again, and marrying each other, that’s why Paul called her Christmas Linda.
And because Christmas was so significant to them they did Christmas big and they relished every moment, they would pack away all the ornaments and pictures, and replace them with the festive decorations they had collected over the years, then there would be a houseful on Christmas day and Boxing Day where they shared the celebration with family and friends, and when the festivities were over they would fly off to the sun for a few weeks, just the two of them.
Neither of them could abide the New Year’s holiday so they took themselves away to enjoy each other’s company.
But alas on their 26th Christmas together the season held no joy for Paul, even James Stewart in “It’s a wonderful life” could not lift his spirits and the reason for his gloomy disposition lay in the next room, where the dining table used to stand.
Where they had so many wonderful Christmas dinners, the room full of the happy chatter of good company, the table heaving under the weight of Christmas fare.
But in its place now stood a stark and clinical hospital bed and laying upon it the most precious thing in his life, Linda, surrounded by all the paraphernalia of terminal illness.
Her once vibrant body riddled with inoperable tumors, their evil spread consuming her from within and as the cancer was so far advanced, when it was discovered she refused what little treatment there was on offer and she also stubbornly refused to die in hospital or a hospice.
Linda said she wished to die in the home where she had known such great happiness, so how could he refuse her such a simple wish?
He employed a private nurse who sat with her at night and Paul tended her himself by day and he watched her dying by inches every single day, it seemed to him to be the cruelest of punishments for being so happy.
Paul’s first wife was taken by cancer and that was hard enough to bare.
It was always so hard when someone you love suffers before your eyes, but as much as he loved his first wife and as hard as it was to watch her die, it was nothing compared to the intolerable despair that he felt losing Linda.
She was not only his wife she was his love, his life, his soul mate, she was the one, the love of his life, his Christmas Linda.
He would sit with her and read to her, sometimes Dickens, Stephen King or Tom Sharpe, depending on her frame of mind.
On her brighter days she would have him tell her jokes, she always said he was the only one who could make her laugh.
Her brown hair with its soft curls had long since turned silver and the sparkle was only rarely present in her eyes and the laughter that used to play around them replaced by pain and it was on the morning of that Christmas Eve when Linda told him what she wanted for Christmas.

She was always at her best in the morning but on that morning, she was having a good day so after she had eaten breakfast she asked Paul to pass her the Mahogany filigree jewelry box.
It was a very precious object to her, not valuable in monetary terms, but precious nonetheless, it was the very first Christmas gift he gave her, and she treasured it, and she often told Paul it was her most prized possession, after him.
As he handed it to her she smiled and just for a second there was a glimpse of her loveliness shining through the pain and she patted the bed and bad him sit next to her and as he sat on the bed next to her she took his hand and said quietly.
“I have to say this to you today because I’m having a good day and I don’t know how many good days I’ve got left”
“Don’t be silly” he protested, and she squeezed his hand and then gave him a look which said that he knew very well that she wasn’t.
Linda carefully opened her jewelry box and from a draw within it she took out a neatly folded embroidered handkerchief which she placed on her lap and carefully unfolded it to reveal that inside were a dozen capsules containing her medication.
Linda looked at him with her soulful eyes pleading with him and as the realization of what she was asking sank in Paul violently shook his head.
On her good days she had salted away some of her medication until she now had enough to hasten the end and she squeezed his hand again and said
“Please do this for me”
She explained that she didn’t want him to do it right there and then she just wanted him to agree to do it when the time came, but that that time would be very soon.
“It’s the only gift you can give me this Christmas” Linda asked looking in to his eyes and then he added
“I love you more than anything in the world and I know with all my heart that you love me”
Paul could say nothing as the tears welled up in his eyes.
“Please do this thing for me” she pleaded, and his heart was breaking at the choice he had to make, let her suffer an agonizing conclusion to her life or end her suffering and kill her.
“I just can’t do it” he said through the tears and got up and left the room, she didn’t call after him because she knew he would be back, so with tears streaming down his face he grabbed his coat and went out the front door and went for a walk.
The day was cold, grey and damp and clouds scudded across the December sky and any hint of the promised sunny intervals in the forecast were not in evidence, it was the kind of day that chilled you to the bone, but he didn’t feel the cold at all, he just felt numb.
You had to be alive to feel the cold and he was dying inside, and he walked for miles under the grey skies along the woodland paths they used to walk together, his mind in turmoil his eyes red with tears.
If he did what she wanted he would lose her forever, the loss of her would be devastating, but not to let her go would just be selfish.
Paul’s head was spinning, and he didn’t know which way to turn, images of their happy moments together swam in and out of focus, then as he walked into a clearing in the woods where they once made love on a sultry afternoon, there was a sudden break in the clouds and the woods were bathed in winter sunshine and all at once he knew what he must do and hurried homeward.
When he returned to the house Paul went straight to her bedside where she was sleeping, so he sat in the chair at her bedside and rested his head on the bed beside her then he felt her hand gently stroking his hair.
Paul sat up and her hand moved to his cheek, so he took it in his own paw and kissed it softly and then said
“I’ll do whatever you want me to do”

A week later Christmas had past and he was glad of it, it was without doubt the worst Christmas of his life, full of tears and sadness instead of happiness and laughter
There was no wondrous Christmas feast, no table laden with Christmas delights, no hearty laughter or light-hearted banter, just an endless stream of visitors, friends and family, as cheery as was possible, putting on a brave face as they all came with forced smiles to bring the season’s greetings, but all leaving with tears, knowing that Linda would not see the spring.
Paul tried not to be ungrateful, but every visit ate into the precious time Linda and he had left but he knew how important it was to Linda to see everyone and say goodbye.
Even the doctor called in to make sure she was comfortable and in between visits Paul would sit watching the needles dropping from the tree as if each dropping needle symbolized Linda’s plight.
And as he sat alone in his favorite armchair on New Year’s Eve staring at the pine needles scattered beneath the tree he tried to come to terms with the fact that Linda would die with the old year.
Since Christmas Eve when she made her request of him, Linda had been in good spirits, she had seen everyone in the world that mattered to her and said all the things she needed to say so Linda had decided that morning, that enough was enough.
Paul tried to remain cheerful for her, but she could see through it
“I know you’re hurting too” she said, the pain etched in her face and with that they made their plans for their last day together.

Firstly, Paul phoned the nurse and told her she should have the night off to enjoy the New Year’s Eve celebrations with her family and she was very grateful and accepted his explanation without question.
After that he filled the room with lighted candles and in the flickering light Linda and he spent the evening together looking at photographs and reliving the great times of their life together and played the music that formed the soundtrack of their shared life then an hour before midnight she handed him the folded handkerchief.
He opened it and inside were now close to twenty capsules, and one by one he broke them open and emptied the contents into a wine glass and when he was finished he filled the glass with Port and gave it a stir and put the glass on the bedside table before sitting on the bed.
Paul took her hand and kissed it and leant forward and kissed her mouth and started to say good bye, but she put her hand to his mouth, so he reached over and picked up the glass and held it up to her lips and she took a drink, then a little more and a little more until the glass was empty and he wiped her mouth with the hanky and she burped and then she laughed that wonderful laugh that he loved so much.
The candles sputtered, and the flames flickered and then squeezing his hand she said
“I love you so very much”
“I love you too” Paul said as he sat holding her hand in his and then they just sat in silence looking at each other in the candle light until her eyes closed.
The Village clock began chiming the hour and her hand went limp and her breathing became shallow and then all the pain in her face was suddenly gone as the clock chimed twelve, marking the passing of the old year and unknowingly marked Linda’s passing.
He couldn’t have said how long he sat there holding her dead hand with the tears streaming down his face, but as he sat there he knew what had to be done.
Paul poured himself a large whisky and sat in his favorite armchair where he wrote a long letter explaining what he had done, and what he was about to do.
With the letter written he put it into an envelope and placed it on the mantelpiece where it would be easily found, then he drank his whisky and reached into his pocket and removed the contents, placing them on his lap.
He filled the syringe with the insulin he had stolen from the doctor’s bag the day before and injected himself with the full syringe and as his eyes grew heavy he could feel Linda’s hand on his shoulder and felt her fingers in his hair and as he drifted into a coma she whispered
“I love you” in his ear as his eyes closed.
When they opened again he couldn’t believe what he saw, it was a place that was familiar to him, it was Millmoor as it was more than 50 years earlier and it was snowing, and the street was full of happy smiling people and there among them was Linda, larger than life, vivacious and self-assured covered with snowflakes and laughing.
It was his snow angel, his Christmas Linda with snow covering her like sugar on a doughnut, a delicious confection he would have gladly consumed, wrapped up against the cold in a red woolen hat and coat and a long-knitted scarf draped about her neck.
Still laughing, she shook her head and the light brown hair that hung beneath her hat danced about her shoulders and the snowflakes fell away from her soft curls only to be replaced by fresh ones.
There was a rosy redness on her cheeks almost matching the hue of her coat and she was young again, they were both young again and they had gone back 55 years to the scene of their first embrace.
Linda threw herself at him and she hugged him so tightly and he smelled her hair as he held onto her and was intoxicated by her scent which over whelmed him.
They were stood at the taxi rank and snow fell onto Linda’s soft curls as they took their place in the queue and they kissed.
All too soon a taxi arrived, as it had done 55 years earlier, but this time they both got in and through the winter wonderland they departed, this time never to be parted again.

Tuesday, 20 February 2018

Loving Christmas Linda – The Special Embrace

51-year-old Paul Hartley found himself stranded in a strange town with less than a week to go before Christmas.
Although to be fair an unfamiliar town would have been a more accurate description, but nonetheless he was stranded almost a hundred miles from home in Abbeyvale, with a seriously sick car in the garage and a distinct lack of will to contemplate traveling home to the north by train.
In truth he was in no hurry to return home to the empty soulless house that he was once happy to call home, which now held no comfort for him.
Paul’s wife of twenty-five years, Elaine, had died earlier that year, finally losing her battle with cancer.
Their three children were all grown up now with homes and families of their own so there was only him in a house full of reminders.
The house would be full at Christmas, full of noise and hustle and bustle, and the usual mix of love, laughter and tears, but for now it was cold and empty.
So he booked himself into the Abbeyvale Court Hotel for the weekend and he would drive home on Monday once the car had been resurrected.
Finding himself in a strange (unfamiliar) town just a handful of days before Christmas and with more than a little time to kill he decided he could fill part of his day by doing some last-minute Christmas shopping.
So after breakfast on Saturday morning he left the Hotel and as Paul stepped outside he shivered, the day was cold, grey and damp and clouds scudded across the December sky, it was the kind of day that chilled you to the bone.
He made his way towards the high street, which was only a five-minute walk, the receptionist had assured him with a smile, as she jotted down some brief directions.
In an effort to warm himself up he walked briskly following her directions down the narrow almost Dickensian lanes and alleyways, passing picturesque Victorian and Tudor buildings, well mock Tudor at least, as he went.
It was indeed five minutes when he emerged onto the busy cobbled pedestrianized high street which was a curious mixture of the ancient and the modern.
At one end of the street a Norman Church was visible and at the other was what appeared to be a municipal building with rather pretentious Georgian columns.
There was still evidence of a row of Edwardian shop fronts but much of the street was modern with a little too much sixties influence to be easy on the eye in Paul’s opinion.
The street was crisscrossed along its full length with festive lights and decorations which did their best to brighten the scene.
Paul decided to familiarize himself with what the town had to offer in the way of shops, so he turned left and joined the throng of shoppers, with gloomy faces to match the weather, and headed towards the Georgian pillared building which turned out to be the public library.
As he dodged between the Christmas Lemmings Paul made a mental note of the shops that interested him, which he would return to.
His progress was hampered by erratic shoppers who appeared to move independently to any logic.
Some seemed to zigzag everywhere and very few possessed the ability to walk in a straight line for more than a few paces and others would take a few steps and then stop for no apparent reason, then after a few moments pause carry on, normally in the same direction.
The sound of cheery Christmas songs and carols could be heard from every shop he passed though the cheeriness of the music was clearly not reflected on the faces of the shoppers going in and out of them.
As he passed one shop Noddy Holder screamed “it’s Christmas” to the outside world, just in case any of the reluctant shoppers were in any doubt.
When Paul reached the other end of the high street where the Norman Church stood there was a little square, which he wasn’t able to see before, in the center of which was the war memorial, and to its left was a magnificent Christmas tree, festooned with a myriad of assorted baubles, ornaments, tinsel, lights and surmounted by a beautiful angel.
Assembled around the tree was the Salvation Army band and Paul took a few moments to admire the tree and listen to the band and while he listened he was taken back to a distant time and place where he and the love of his life had held hands as they sang along.
The clock chimed, and he was brought back to the present and he took a few more moments while he decided on his first port of call, not realizing at the time just how important a decision it would prove to be.
Paul decided on Woolworths, always a favorite of his at Christmas, but on this occasion, it also happened to be the closest, so he walked briskly towards the store and pushed open the door.
As he prepared to enter he paused to hold the door open for a woman coming the other way and he waited patiently as she put her purse away into a huge handbag and he wondered what response he would get for his trouble.
Paul had found that the older he got the less women appreciated courtesy, the simple act of holding open a door could provoke a wide range of responses, a smile, a thank you, a nod, a sneer, a tut, an accusation of male chauvinism or a colorful mouth full of abuse, and he couldn’t always tell who was going to do what.
When the woman had finished fiddling and securing her bag she moved to step through the open door and as she passed Paul she looked up and said
“Thank you” followed by a broad smile, and then she stopped in her tracks as Paul returned her smile and then he too just stood there.
Both of them stood motionless on the threshold as slowly the recognition set in and they were both dumbstruck, not believing their eyes.
Neither of them were sure how long they stood looking at one another for, but long enough for a queue to form behind each of them.
When they realized what they had done they both blushed and excused themselves and stepped out onto the street away from the door apologizing profusely.
When they were clear of the crowd neither of them knew what to say, and still couldn’t believe their eyes, but Paul knew in his heart without a doubt that he was looking at Linda Parsons, who he had last seen 30 years before being driven off in a taxi, disappearing off through the snow, with her palm pressed against the glass as she craned her neck to keep sight of him through the snow spattered window until the very last moment, until the cab had gone from his sight.
But here she stood before him as beautiful as ever she was in his eyes, the soft curls of her light brown hair, which hung beneath her hat, still danced about her shoulders, it just had fine strands of silver threaded through it.
Her smile was still able to melt his heart, even after all those years and her smiling eyes still had the same sparkle and he thought the years had been kind to her and less so to him.
As he studied her he was fumbling for the right words to express his joy at seeing her when she reached up and hugged his neck, kissing his cheek at the same time, and spoke softly in his ear.
“Paul, is it really you?”
He simply said “yes” and they stood in a long comfortable embrace, and he didn’t know how long they stood there, not wanting to let go before she relaxed her grip and he kissed her forehead
“It’s so good to see you” he said feebly, and she put her head on his chest, squeezed him and sighed.
Linda released her grip and pulled away slightly and put her hand up to his cheek and caressed his grey beard.
“Do you have time for coffee?” She asked almost pleadingly
“Of course,” Paul said, and she put her arm through his and led him across the high street, asking quick fire questions as they went.
Paul explained about his car breaking down and that he was staying at the Abbeyvale Court Hotel as he was in no rush to return home
She responded with “oh really” and “oh dear” internally delighting in his misfortune as they walked into the nearest coffee shop, Café Société, and sat on a large comfortable sofa and over coffee they told the tales of their lives spent apart.
And throughout Paul looked at her with adoring eyes, periodically pinching himself, expecting to awake from a dream, as he had done so very many times before.
He told her about his wife and children and she told him of her marriage to Daniel and the subsequent divorce.
The good man that Paul gave Linda up for turned out to have feet of clay and degenerated into a violent drunk, they had no children, which although unsaid was clearly a regret for her.
With the aid of several cups of coffee they managed to talk away the entire morning and Paul suggested they might spend the rest of the day together and have dinner together at the hotel.
Linda readily accepted the invitation to dinner with a delightful smile but then she looked at her watch and suddenly jumped up in alarm
“Look at the time, I have to go” she flustered then she said she had a prior commitment
“Lunch with mum” she added rather unconvincingly, saying it was something she couldn’t get out of as he helped her back into her coat, the smell of her hair evoking memories of their past embraces.
She fished out her mobile phone as they left the coffee shop, from her huge handbag and they exchanged phone numbers, and firmed up the details for the evening, then with a hug and a kiss she was off.
Paul stood and watched her walk away, her coat tails swishing behind her, she stopped briefly and turned to give him a smile and a wave, then with the phone to her ear she hurried off again talking animatedly and he stood watching until she disappeared from sight before he went back to his Christmas shopping and treated himself to a new shirt for the evening.
Paul bought all the gifts he was looking for, plus paper, tags, cards etc. and with all his shopping complete he returned to the hotel for a late lunch.
After that the rest of the day seemed intolerably long, and in an effort to kill some time he went for a swim, used the gym, and then went for a walk.
He got a haircut, even though he didn’t need one, he even wrapped the Christmas presents he had bought that morning, but the time passed so interminably slowly.

Paul walked into the hotel bar at 7 o’clock, an hour early, partly for some Dutch courage and in part because he had run out of things to do so he ordered a drink and then sat at the bar.
Even though he wasn’t expecting her until eight, every time the door opened he turned to look for her and when it wasn’t her his self-doubt crept in, and with every false alarm the doubts got worse, what if she doesn’t come? What if she changed her mind? What if she never intended to come? What if? What if? What if?
Then at a quarter to the hour the door opened and there she was, the love of his life, and every bit as beautiful to him as ever, in spite of the passing years.
Linda was wearing a simple black knee length dress, black tights or stockings and four-inch stiletto shoes, and he thought her legs were as shapely as he remembered them.
In fact he thought that everything about her was as wonderful as he remembered, even though she was thirty years older.
She held a black leather clutch bag in her hand and her face looked a little anxious until Paul stood up and then it lit up with the most radiant smile.
Relieved to find him there, she walked towards him almost tottering on her heels and that made her laugh.
“Hello” She said, and he responded “Hi” and took her hand as she climbed onto a stool.
Paul kissed her cheek and the fragrance of her perfume was quite intoxicating, going straight to his head like a strong spirit and the combination of her scent and his desire for her almost made him swoon.
He ordered her a drink and they nervously made small talk, like two strangers on a blind date, until the waitress led them through to the restaurant.
“How did your lunch with your mum go?” Paul asked once they were seated at their table and she blushed the deepest red in response
“The lunch date was a little white lie” she admitted
“Because I needed the afternoon to get ready” she said, “for this”
“And the animated phone call you were having when you left?”
“Was to my sister, to rally the troops and get me presentable” she confided and they both laughed and any awkwardness between them was gone.
“Well, all I can say is that it was time well spent” he said, and she blushed again at the compliment.
Over dinner they talked with such an easy familiarity as if her departing taxi had only been a week earlier rather than 30 years.
By the time they had finished their coffee the restaurant was empty except for Paul and Linda and a very weary waitress waiting to clear their table.
The evening seemed to have passed by in the blink of an eye and had all too soon come to an end.
They got up and made their apologies and Linda went through the door to the ladies while Paul signed the bill.
“Good night” he said, “and I must apologize again for keeping you so late”
After leaving a large tip on the table he went in search of Linda through the same door she had used, and he found her standing by the Christmas tree.
She had retrieved her coat and scarf from the cloakroom, which were draped over one arm, and her bag was in her hand.
Linda stood with her back to him gazing out of the window, but she could see his reflection in the glass and smiled at him and he gasped at the beauty of her and pinched himself again.
He wanted to kiss her so much, but he was afraid, afraid to break the magic of that special kiss, that perfect moment when they kissed in the snow all those years earlier when he let her slip from his grasp.
For 30 years he had revered that moment, reliving it whenever on a winter’s night he heard the Salvation Army play, or when the snow fell during Christmas time, or when he felt a snowflake on his skin, or stood in a taxi queue on a winter’s night.
For 30 years he had wanted to be back there in that moment holding her in the snow, and there she stood a few steps away from him, yet he was hesitant.
But as if sensing his turmoil, she turned away from the window and he took those few steps to face her.
They stood beside the Christmas tree for a few moments just looking at each other, then she smiled her most heart melting smile as she caressed his cheek before she pulled him to her and kissed him gently on the lips, a warm sensitive and tender kiss.
When their lips touched electricity ran down his spine and it was as if they were young again.
When their lips parted she smiled at him coyly and flushed a deep shade of pink and a second later they met again, and her kiss became more intense, more passionate.
Her coat, scarf and bag fell to the floor as their arms enveloped each other and they stood locked in passionate embrace as the tree lights twinkled beside them.
Linda pulled away for a moment before burying her face in his neck and then softly spoke in his ear.
“You see, that was as good as the first time”
“How could I have doubted it would be perfect?” he responded and cupping her flushed cheek in his palm before he slid his fingers beneath her soft brown curls and caressed the soft downy hair on her nape as he pulled her head toward him, so he could kiss her sweet lips again.
The next time they paused she put her head on his chest, still holding on to him so tightly as Paul kissed the top of her head and smelled her hair.
He held her and didn’t want to let her go, and then he said
“Please stay, I can’t watch you disappear from my life again in another taxi”
In response she lifted her head from his chest and looked at him and said
“I’m not letting you go again, not now, not ever”
Then she smiled at him coyly and blushed like a virgin before she buried her face in his chest again.
A moment later she scooped up her coat, scarf and bag from the floor and took his hand and they walked in silence to his room.
Outside in the corridor she looked deeply into his eyes and kissed his mouth before Paul opened the door and let her walk inside.
She immediately dropped her coat and bag onto a chair and turned to face him as he followed her and she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered in his ear
“I never stopped loving you”
Paul’s arms enveloped her and pulled her close to him and then they kissed, at first soft and tender but then more urgently and he began to un-wrap his most special Christmas gift, wrapped in lace and silk instead of paper and ribbon.
Caressing her body from neck to lacy stocking top and their love was at last made absolute.
When their act of love was complete, and their dreams realized they lay holding each other in the afterglow, silently content until they drifted off to sleep.

Paul awoke to find Linda stood silhouetted against the window, gazing out into the night, wearing his shirt to cover her nakedness and she turned her head to look at him and said
“It’s snowing”
Paul slipped out of bed and joined her at the window, and standing behind her encompassing her in his arms they watched as the snow settled on the courtyard and she hugged his arms and said
“How perfect is that?”
They stood for a few minutes taking in the snowy scene, both thinking back to the last time they enjoyed the snowfall together then she inclined her head, so he could kiss her and when his hands moved from her soft belly and cupped her breasts she led him back to the bed and they made love again.

He woke early the next morning and lay in the half light and held Linda’s sleeping form in his arms and as he lay there he thought how good the fates had been to them that weekend.
If his car hadn’t broken down, and had he not rejected the idea of taking the train, he would not have been shopping on that cold grey morning.
He thought about the moments he spent admiring that tree in the square and listening to the Salvation Army band, and what thought processes made him do what he did.
Was it destiny that he chose to start his shopping at Woolworths, and at the very that moment Linda was preparing to leave, or just blind luck?
They could have chosen any one of the five doors along Woolworths frontage but they both chose the same one, surely that had to be fate.
Although it didn’t really matter to him, all he knew for sure was that 24 hours before that day his life had been so sad and empty and now it was full to overflowing and he was finally with his soul mate.
Linda was in Paul’s life at last and he wanted her never to leave it again, but if fate decreed that the special embrace on one special night of that special weekend was all they could have then he would have been content, but he didn’t have to.

Wednesday, 7 February 2018

Loving Christmas Linda – The First Embrace

Outside in the winter night, snow spattered, unseen, against the other side of the steamy glass, glass which reflected back images like mirrors against the dark beyond.
It was a fairly crowded Friday evening train, but not full, there were still a number of empty seats, one of which was next to 21-year-old Paul Hartley.
The carriage was occupied by a mixture of weary shoppers, shopping bags bursting at the seams and commuting workers content that the weeks work was done, all journeying homeward at the dark days end.
A cheerful crowd though, Paul thought, pleased with themselves for a variety of reasons, bright faced and hearty and full of seasonal cheer and anticipating the Christmas holiday and seemingly oblivious to the drafty carriage, and the winter weather beyond it.
Paul sat alone as the train rattled out of Nettlefield Station and felt lifted by the quiet jolliness as he contemplated the collective countenance of his self-satisfied travelling companions and then she appeared, and Paul was all at once lifted higher.
Because there she was, larger than life, vivacious and self-assured, covered with snowflakes and laughing to herself.
It was his snow angel, Linda Parsons, with snow covering her like sugar on a doughnut, a delicious confection he would have gladly consumed.
Linda was wrapped up against the cold in a red woolen hat and coat and a long-knitted scarf draped about her neck.
Still laughing, she shook her head and the light brown hair that hung beneath her hat, danced about her shoulders and the snowflakes settled on them melted away from her soft curls.
There was a rosy redness on her cheeks, almost matching the hue of her coat, either from the cold winter evening or a liberal taste of Christmas spirit, a little of both Paul assumed.
Linda made her way unsteadily down the train between the seats leaving wet snowflakes in her wake with her full-length coat swishing from side to side.
She moved almost gracelessly, which Paul thought suited her well, as she tottered a little in her high heeled boots, perhaps due to the lurching motion of the train or the Christmas punch and eggnog at the office party.
As Paul studied her she was still laughing softly to herself, which he thought also suited so well, and then she saw him, and her eyes lit up like beacons, and he sighed as he looked into those wonderful, sparking, laughing eyes as she stopped and stood momentarily open mouthed, and then her smile illuminated the carriage and his heart soared at the sight of her and as Paul returned her smile she flushed a little deeper red.
It had been almost a year since he had last seen her, and she was his lovely lost love, Linda, and it had been a hard year for him, in which he had locked all his feelings for her away, but the instant he saw her they were back with a vengeance.
It was like a door had opened in his heart and they all rushed out, he had missed her so much in that time, but he didn’t know just how much until that moment.
They were never lovers, only ever friends, but very special friends, very close friends, though nothing more.
They liked each other’s company, they would have lunch together, journey to and from work on the same bus, shared a cab when the need arose and laughed a lot together, shared confidences, and talked incessantly, because they were best friends but that was as far as it ever went, though he wanted more, he wanted so much more but Paul didn’t want to lose what they had together, so he said nothing.
He loved her so much that it hurt, but she was not free for him to love and Linda was not free to love him even if she had wanted to, so Paul contented himself with their special friendship and his unrequited love remained just that.
If that was all he could have then better that than nothing, so he was happy to love her unconditionally.
They had plenty of opportunities to see each other as they both lived in the same road in Millmoor, he with his cousin and she with her parents, and they both worked at St Augusta’s Hospital in Nettlefield, where Linda was a clerical assistant and Paul was a porter.
And that unrequited love affair could have gone on indefinitely had circumstances not changed for him when his father died.
As a result, he had to move away to look after his mother and he didn’t see Linda again, not until that moment.
When she was standing in front of him, his angel, larger than life, smiling, blushing, laughing and oh so lovely.
Paul stood up and smiled at her again and she threw herself at him and Linda hugged him so tightly and as she did so, he smelled her hair as he held onto her and was intoxicated by her scent and all the old feelings flooded back, over whelming him.
Paul had often dreamt of being reunited with her, but never in his wildest dreams had he expected such a reaction from her.
“Could it be my love is not unrequited?” he wondered
They sat down heavily on the lumpy seats in the rattling carriage and to all intents and purposes were completely alone.
They sat looking at each other in silence not wanting to lose sight of one another just in case the spell was broken.
Linda removed a glove and put her hand on his as if testing it was not a dream and he was really there, in substance.
“It really is you” she said and then she slipped her hand into his, her delicate fingers lacing between his, her hand so small in his grasp.
For the remainder of the journey they reveled in each other’s company as they caught up with the lost months, filling in the gaps of their time apart, and as they did so they remained oblivious to their traveling companions, it was as if they had never been apart.
But apart they most certainly had been, she still worked at the hospital in Nettlefield and lived at home in Millmoor while he now lived in Nettlefield and worked for Stephenson’s Supermarket’s as a Warehouse manager.
Linda playfully chastised him for disappearing so completely from her life.
“I thought it was the only way” he said, intimating the disposition of his feelings to her for the first time.
“I’ve missed you so much” she said and squeezed his hand and then the train shook to a halt as all too soon they had arrived at Millmoor Station and their fellow travelers all rushed off into the winter air heading towards their Christmases.
Reluctantly Paul and Linda left their seats and disembarked from the carriage arm in arm, then hand in hand as they walked slowly along the platform, still talking and laughing, until they handed over their tickets and then stepped out of the Station and onto the street, where the shops were now closing and the town had settled down to a relative quiet, although from one pub Noddy Holder screamed “it’s Christmas” to the outside world and only the pubs and restaurants seemed to hold any attraction to the remaining Millmoorian’s.
Paul and Linda however were not interested in noisy hostelries, so they joined a small group gathered round the Salvation Army band and joined in with the carol singing in the town square before reluctantly strolling towards the taxi rank as the snow again fell onto Linda’s soft curls.
They were both bound for different parts of town, Linda, had to get home to babysit her sister and Paul was bound for The Downshire Grey where he was meeting up for a Christmas drink with friends.
They took their place in the queue of travelers eager to be home, Paul was eager to be nowhere else but with Linda and he shuffled along for the last few steps like a sulky schoolboy.
Linda was smiling as she turned to face him and kissed him gently on the lips, such a warm sensitive and tender kiss, their first ever kiss, and when their lips parted she smiled at him coyly and flushed a deep shade of pink.
“I’ve wanted to do that for so long” she said, and Paul kissed a snowflake off her nose and cupping her flushed cheek in his palm he slid his fingers beneath her soft brown curls and caressed the soft downy hair on her nape as he pulled her sweet lips to his and returned her kiss.
Linda’s arms enveloped him, holding him so close, and so tightly, not wanting to let go, not wanting to lose what they had found and not wanting to lose him again.
They stood locked in their first passionate embrace as the snow fell softly on the scene until Linda pulled away for a moment before burying her face in his neck and saying softly.
“I’ve missed you so much, I’ve missed your love for me”
Paul had waited so long for that moment, waited so long to hear those words, to hear his love returned and then they kissed again.
Taxi’s arrived and departed through the slush and the queue around them just kept moving as if unaware of the depth of their love.
After an indeterminate period, they moved from the queue and found a bench in the town square, in a quiet spot with a view of the Christmas Tree and talked.
The substance of that talk was of love, a shared love, an unquenchable love.
Not an unrequited one as Paul had supposed because Linda had the same profound feelings for him, she had always done so she said, but she had not been free to pursue her love for Paul a year earlier and she was still not free.
So, Linda was torn between the two loves in her life, torn between the comfortable familiarities for a good man, a loyal and dependable man, for safety if you like, and the passion she felt for a soul mate.
Paul was similarly conflicted, Linda was the love of his life and he would never, could never love another in the same way, but it wasn’t fair on Daniel, her other love, her childhood sweetheart, he hadn’t done anything wrong.
Paul had been on the receiving end of that kind of pain and he found himself unable to inflict it onto another, even if he were a rival, so the conclusion to their converse as they cuddled on the quiet bench was that their love was a forbidden one, and had to be set aside.
They could be best friends no more, not now the genie was out of the bottle, though they both wanted more, so much more.
Paul could not content himself with the special friendship that they had once treasured, not now that he knew his love was not unrequited.
There was no going back, now Pandora’s Box had been opened, but at least now he knew she loved him with the same depth of feeling as he loved her.
After they had reached the conclusion of their frank exchange they slowly walked hand in hand back to the taxi rank and kissed again in the falling snow.
They joined the queue and all too soon it was her turn and after a final kiss she got into a taxi and through the winter wonderland Linda departed taking Paul’s love with her.
As the Taxi drove away with Linda in the back, with her palm pressed against the glass, she craned her neck to keep sight of him through the snow spattered window until the very last moment, until the cab had gone from his sight.
Linda was gone from his arms, gone from his view, gone from his life but a Christmas happening had changed his life forever, after a brief encounter, fleeting, here and then gone.
Her scent was still in his nostrils, the taste of joy on his lips, and his soulmate was gone forever, yet she remained forever in his memory, forever in his heart.
He resolved that he would never see her again and moved away in the New Year to avoid another chance encounter and make a life elsewhere, but Paul never forgot Linda.
And when on a winter’s night he heard the Salvation Army play, or when the snow falls during Christmas time, or when he felt a snowflake on his skin, he feels her small hand in his and all at once she is in his arms once again, and he can smell her soft brown hair and the taste of her is on his lips and he hears her say “I love you” and Linda is his forever.

Monday, 4 December 2017

Love and Admiration # 15


Winters wrath near sweeps me off my feet
As snow and ice join the skin stinging sleet
Who would be outside during the bitter season
A sensible being would need a good reason
To be wrapped up in hat, scarf and glove
In the teeth of a storm and for me it was love


Church bells peel out
Loud and proud
A blissful summer call
To the celebratory crowd
As bride and groom emerge
Into a confetti cloud
After standing at the altar
And solemnly avowed


Looking deeply into
Your soulmates eyes
Is like gazing in a mirror
The love you see
Is the love you get
Because what you feel
Is reflected back to you
So what you give
Is what you will receive


Looking deeply into
Your betrayer’s eyes
Is like gazing at a wall
The love you feel
Is a wasted love
And is absorbed
Instead of being
Reflected back to you
So what you give
Is unrequited
And all that you receive
Is disappointment


An Angel might fall from the sky,
A Goddess may fall from a tree,
But you only lived next door
When you fell in love with me


The earth and sky are
Separate and opposite
Complimenting each other
And are nature in balance
They are two adequate halves
Making one perfect whole
But the most perfect part
Is where they touch on the horizon
But the zenith of their union
Is the perfection of the sunset
Which is where it began for us
I am the earth, you are the sky
We were separate and opposite
And complement each other
And are nature in balance
We are two adequate halves
Making one perfect whole
And we enjoy the sunset embrace
Where the earth touches the sky


A call of the innocence
That was what it was
When the fifteen year old me
Picked up the phone
To call Theresa Flaherty
My palms were so sweaty
I could barely hold the phone
Whereas my mouth was so dry
I doubted I could speak
But I dialled the number
And I eventually got it right
On the third attempt
And then it seemed
To ring for an eternity
But then it was answered
“Hello” the sweet voice said
“Theresa?” I croaked
“Yes” she replied sweetly
“It’s Paul” I said “from school”
I don’t know why I added the last bit
“Oh hi Paul” she said
And I tried to gauge if it was
A despairing “oh hi Paul”
Or a pleasantly surprised one
But as I had never asked
A girl out before
I had no benchmark for it
So a few minutes passed
Of nervous small talk
Interspersed with awkward silences
As the heart in my chest pounded
And beat like an eagles wing
While my head throbbed
And my stomach
Was a flutter of butterflies
As I approached the reason for my call
And the question I had for her
Which I had been rehearsing all week
But it vanished from my mind
So in the end I rather abruptly blurted out
“Will you go to the pictures with me?”
“Oh” she exclaimed with surprise
And added “Yes I’d love to”
My heart was doing cartwheels of delight
But I had to try to remain calm
“That’s great” I responded and hung up
And so ended a call of innocence,
And then I cursed myself for being an idiot
So I rang Theresa again five minutes later
To discuss the date, place and time
And so began our first passion