(Part 01)
It was mid-September when recent divorcee Matthew Charlton moved into Flat 3 of East Cliff Lodge, overlooking Teardrop Lake.
The view of the lake from his flat was spectacular, as he stood on his balcony and looked down at the glassy teardrop shaped lake, he could see at once how the lake got its name.
It was a calm still day and the modest body of water, just over two miles long and almost a mile at its widest point mirrored the surrounding ancient woodland of the Dancingdean Forest on its surface.
Teardrop Lake was truly beautiful and it certainly lived up to the hype and the privately owned woodland surroundings made it both idyllic and peaceful.
He thought as he drank in the view that he would be very happy there, he couldn’t imagine a more perfect place to start a new life.
Of course he hadn’t wanted to start a new life, he quite liked the old one.
Actually, he hadn’t wanted a divorce, he loved his wife, in fact he still loved his wife, but she apparently didn’t love him.
Although she claimed that she did love him, but he wasn’t sure how that worked.
Apparently he was too enabling, he wasn’t assertive enough, he was too accommodating, and in short he was too nice.
Whatever the problem was he didn’t understand it.
So they divorced, quite amicably for what that was worth and when the house in Roespring was sold he decided to make a new start, a completely new start at the age of 32 in an entirely different part of the county.
It was an old friend, who he’d known from Art School, Danny Pellegrino, who had recommended Teardrop Lake.
He said he had found happiness and love there only that summer and couldn’t speak highly enough of the place.
Shallowfield and the Dancingdean Forest were a long way from Roespring and his old life, and his old wife.
Luckily Matt was a graphic designer by profession and worked from home for the majority of the time so it didn’t really matter where home was.
It was a miserable wet day when his brother Owen helped him move in after which he helped him get completely legless to christen the place.
In fact they both drank so much they both slept through the arrival of the new tenant in flat 4 the next day.
Emily Waugh was also a recent divorcee who had moved to
Teardrop for a new start and it was also on the advice of a friend.
Although because she had no siblings and as most of her closest friends had sided with her ex over the divorce, she had to leave the moving in to the professionals.
After which she spent her first night in the flat drinking alone.
Emily was 27 years old and diminutive at 4’ 11” with shoulder length brown hair streaked with red and gold.
Like Matt Charlton she too worked from home but her profession was editing for a natural history publisher, although her degree was in biology, she enjoyed her job though.
Matt found that the only problem with working from home was that it made it very difficult to meet people but he intended throwing himself headlong into life on the lake and he felt sure he would soon make new friends, and if he was struggling his friend Danny could always smooth the way when he returned from Australia at Christmas.
He knew that flat 4 was empty when he moved in but when Owen had left and his hangover had passed he noticed signs of habitation.
This was confirmed by Coleman Bowers who worked at the Shallowfield Lodge Hotel as an odd job/handyman.
But part of his duties was to take his hotel Skiff around the lake twice a week delivering the mail and small parcels to the big houses on the lake.
He was a proper country boy in his late fifties with white receding hair and a matching wiry beard.
He was also the font of all knowledge regarding the Lake and its inhabitants.
Coleman told him that the upstairs neighbours were both away but Flat 4 was occupied by a young single woman who in Coleman’s view was “a very attractive young-un”
So with 1 and 2 both away he thought he could at least introduce himself to his fellow newbie in Flat 4.
Matt grabbed the only bottle of wine he and Owen didn’t drink and went next door and knocked purposely on the door.
He offered the bottle of wine when the door opened and began
“Hi I’m…” but then he stopped as he took in fully the vision of the woman stood before him to whom he had just presented a bottle of wine.
(Part 02)
The occupant of number 4, was indeed as Coleman described her “a very attractive young-un”
“What the hell are you doing here?” his ex-wife asked sharply
“I live next door” he responded
“I can’t believe it” she said “You followed me here?”
“Oh don’t flatter yourself Emily” Matt said and turned to walk back to his flat.
“I came here for a new start” Emily said and followed him
“So did I” he said and slammed the door
Emily knelt down and pushed open the letter box and shouted
“Well you’ll have to move”
He reopened the door and said slowly and deliberately
“I moved in before you, so you can move”
Then he snatched the bottle of wine from her hand and slammed the door again.
“Arghhhhh” she yelled as she went back to her flat and slammed her door.
He was furious, how cruel did life have to be.
Well there one thing was for certain even if he turned out to hate that flat he wasn’t going to move out before she did.
Emily was equally angry but also surprised at his forcefulness she thought to herself that if he’d shown that much gumption when they were married they might well still have been.
They both concluded independently that they would have to learn to coexist.
As long as the situation didn’t interfere with their work they would just have to make the best of a bad situation.
After a week had passed and there had been no further confrontation Matt sat down one day and started reading the local paper, the Shallowfield and Childean Chronicle, it was fairly typical of its type, but it was quite engrossing.
Especially the personals, he liked reading them as they made him laugh.
You had to figure out the shorthand for example, WLTM was would like to meet, NS was non smoker, LTR was long term relationship, and GSOH was good sense of humour.
They weren’t all as easy to work out, he had to Google OHAC because it sounded a bit exotic, but disappointingly it meant own house and car.
Once you knew the code you could decipher the ads.
Sue: was looking for no strings fun.
Anna: WLTM a man of any age and at any location.
Maria: was broadminded.
Sam: was looking for a discreet man for casual meetings and
Jane: was interested in Adult fun.
Quite a lot of them liked to dress up but it wasn’t patently clear what that meant.
He wasn’t sure if they meant they liked to wear posh frocks or a suit of armour.
He thought they were ones to give a miss to although he hadn’t read them because he intended to contact anyone.
That was until he read:
Pretty Divorcee 25: Size 12, Loves going out, socializing, Country Walks, Meals out.
Looking for like-minded man to fall head over heels in love with.
“I like the sound of you” he said and picked up the phone.
A few days later he was on his way to meet miss size 12 at a restaurant in Shallowfield called the Brown Windsor which his go to guy for local info Coleman told him was very good.
He had a haircut that morning at Mazzone’s in Childean and then he treated himself to a new shirt and jacket.
So when he walked into the Brown Windsor he was looking as good as he possibly could.
With his neatly styled brown wavy hair, brown twinkling eyes and a well-groomed close cropped beard.
And with a new shirt and jacket what could possibly go wrong.
(Part 03)
Mark Roscoe, the restaurateur, showed him to the table where a diminutive young woman was seated with her back to the door.
“I’m sorry if I’m a little late” he said as Mark delivered him to the table
“That’s o….” she began
It was only at that moment the he made eye contact with his date.
“You have got to be kidding me” he said to his ex-wife Emily
She stood up and glared at him and then made straight for the door and Matt followed
“I take it sir and madam won’t be dining tonight” Mark said and opened the door.
As soon as they were on the street she turned on him
“You are determined to ruin my life” she said
“I’m ruining your life? Well I like that” he retorted
“How was I to know it was you, the girl in the ad sounded nice and there was not mention of the fact she was incurably selfish and emotionally retarded”
Although matt was short at 5’ 6” he still towered over her 4’ 11”.
But she still managed to be intimidating.
“You are unbelievable” she said but he turned and walked away
“Where do you think you’re going?” she shouted “I haven’t finished with you yet”
Matt turned around again and faced her.
“I don’t have to listen to you anymore, we’re divorced remember?” he said and walked away again.
“How could I forget” she shouted “it was the happiest day of my life”
Matt carried on walking but stopped briefly and called back over his shoulder.
“By the way, you’re 27”
After the Brown Windsor altercation he managed to avoid Emily for a few days and then he had to go to Abbotsford for a few days after that to meet with his agency and a client.
When he got back he quickly got showered and changed because he had made a date for a drink at the Woodcutters Arms at 8 o’clock.
He was there with ten minutes to spare and sat at the bar and ordered a pint, he sat on a bar stool and was halfway down his pint when she appeared and as soon as their eyes met their hearts sank.
“Oh no not again” Emily said “Will I ever be rid of you?”
She sat on the stool next to his and he ordered her a drink.
“Large white wine please” he said to the waiting barman.
He ran through his mind the ad he had placed in the Chronicle to try and figure out why this kept happening.
Genuine, reliable, traditional, sociable NS man 32 WLTM loyal, warm hearted, female for LTR.
The pair sat at the bar in silence for a few minutes.
“This really can’t go on like this” she said “you have to move”
“Well I’m not going to” Matt said
“But I really love it here” Emily said
“Hang on I love it here too why should I move?” he asked
“Because you don’t care where you live” she said “but I do”
“What are you talking about?” he retorted
“In five years of marriage you never once expressed a strong opinion on anything, but now you definitely know you want to live here, you’re just being vindictive” she said and got up and left.
Her words still rang in his ears
“In five years of marriage you never once expressed a strong opinion on anything”
It was true that he was easy going, but he didn’t see that as a character floor, it was just that he didn’t care whether they went on holiday to the Greek islands or to Cyprus, he knew he would enjoy either one.
It was true he had no strong opinion on the colour of the lounge carpet, the style of sofa or whether the walls should be papered or painted.
If he’d had a strong opinion he would have shared it and put her straight.
Choices mattered to Emily so he let her make them.
(Part 04)
On Halloween there was a big fancy dress party at Forest Lodge, everyone on the Lake was invited, as well as some from Shallowfield.
Apart from Halloween, the party was for the host Peter Lutchford, the world renowned film director, to show off his fiancé Claire to the neighbour’s.
It was the first party Peter had held at the house since they had got together, the next party he planned would be for their wedding.
Peter was dressed as Herman Munster and Claire was his wife Lily and Peter’s actress sister Amanda Flanders was dressed as a witch which her brother Peter thought was type casting.
Because Emily was so small she struggled to get fancy dress costumed so she had the one costume which fitted her perfectly, a monkey costume, which she would accessorize to suit the occasion.
For Halloween she added vampire teeth and a cape and went as a Vampire Monkey.
Matt went to the party dressed as Satan and he had a great time he even got to dance with Amanda Flanders before he went into the conservatory to get another drink.
And it was then that he bumped into Emily again.
“Oh God not you again” she said “Are you stalking me?”
“Oh lighten up Emily” he retorted having had just enough to drink to not take her seriously.
“Lighten up? Lighten up?” she exclaimed all shrill “everywhere I go you’re there”
“Perhaps there’s a reason for that” he said “maybe the universe is trying to tell us something”
“No its not” she snapped “it’s not the Gods nor is it fate or providence and any other bloody superstition, it’s just bad luck”
“I think its serendipity” he said
“Oh shut up and take me home” she barked
“No” he replied and poured himself another drink
“Then call me a cab” she said
“Call your own bloody cab” Matt said and laughed
“Charming” she said “you used to do things for me”
“Yes I did and you called me a door mat and divorced me so if you need a bloody taxi, call it yourself” he said
“My father warned me about you” Emily said coldly
“It’s funny you should mention your father” He said
“He gave me some great advice on our wedding day, he said “Emily is my only daughter and I love her with all my heart, but she can be a selfish little cow, when she was little a spanked arse did the trick, it might still””
“You wouldn’t dare raise a hand to me and you’re not man enough to put me across your knee” she said and laughed in his face and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
He took her by the wrist and pulled her across his knee.
Peter and Claire walked into the kitchen laughing and Amanda said
“What’s so funny?”
“We just saw Satan spanking the monkey in the conservatory” Peter said
“Eww that’s disgusting” Amanda said
“No, it’s not like that” Claire said
“There’s a girl in a monkey suit and she’s being spanked by Satan”
“It still sounds dirty to me” Amanda said.
With the first slap on her plump cheek she wriggled and protested
“I should have taken your fathers advice and done this years ago” he said and gave her another good spank.
When he had finished spanking her she had long since finished protesting he stood her up and said
“Now I’ll take you home”
“Ok” she said meekly, rubbing her buttock with one hand and holding his hand with the other.
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