Friday 21 April 2023

THE “LOVE” WORD

 

Love,

Is just a word

Such a small word

Often misused

A throw away word

Used as a panacea

To paper over the cracks

Tell someone “I love you”

And everything is expected

To be forgiven

But love

Is too small a word

For what I feel

Far too small

For what I want to express

As the love I feel

Is immeasurable, infinite

In its depth, its quality

It’s all encompassing nature

It colours everything

All I say, all I do

Yet to express my feelings

All I can say is

“I love you”

It’s just so inadequate.

For what I want to express

My need for you

Of never being parted from you

To be joined forever

In every way

But I don’t have the word

To articulate it

I don’t have the vocabulary

I just have

Love

MY PRECIOUS BOOK OF DREAMS

 

You only exist

In my precious book of dreams

But you seem so real

YOU ARE DIVINELY DESIGNED

 

You are a beauty

And are divinely designed

But out of my reach

MY HEARTS PROTECTOR

 

My hearts protector

A guardian fierce and true

And love of my life

INSEPARABLE ONCE # 1

 

We were once inseparable

Soul mates incarnate

Held by an eternal bond

As strong as tungsten

Yet soft as pure silk

I thought our union

Would last for ever

Even to the end of eternity

But the bonds that held us

Have disappeared

Like tears in the rain

We had it all, in our grasp

We could see it, feel it, touch it

Something steadfast and solid

Reassuring and comforting

A constant, a given

Something infinite and immeasurable

We had it all in our hands

A living breathing thing

That we gave life

Our own creation, our new entity

But we let it escape from our grasp

Slowly slipping through our fingers

Though we tried to recapture it

It was illusive, like trying to net smoke

It evaded our efforts

So now it's gone, and nothing remains,

Of that entity that was us

Nothing tangible, nothing physical

Only memories remain

INSEPARABLE ONCE # 2

 


We were once inseparable
Tied with the bonds of love
But when the day came
When bonds become restraints
Love melted into the ether
And the ties that bound
Turned inexorably to dust

IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME?

 


The years are passing me by
And another relationship has failed
What is wrong with me?
Why has this love affair derailed?

 

Why can I not hold onto love?
What kind of signal do I transmit?
What makes me so difficult to love?
Why can I not put my finger on it

 

So, I must move onto pastures new
Looking for the most elusive pray
Wishing for better luck this time

And that I will strike gold one day

 

Surely it is not too much to ask
That my love be returned in kind
But I won’t give up the search
I’ll keep looking and see what I find

 

I just have to keep believing
Keep the faith and I will soon see
The next one that I can love
And hope that they will love me

WHERE AND WHEN AND HOW

 

Where did it go?
That sense of one
The feeling of togetherness
Of mutuality, symbiosis
Thinking each other’s thoughts
A consciousness shared
Breathing in unison
A single beating heart
Speaking in a single voice

 

When did it happen?
At what point?
Did we separate?
When were we torn asunder
Split like an atom
Dissected like conjoined twins
To breath alone
To stop sharing one heart
And speak for ourselves

 

How could it be?
When I looked at her with love
A stranger looked back
Independent and solo
Individual and free
Thinking on a different plain
Breathing different air
Heart pulsing with a different beat
Speaking a foreign tongue


Wednesday 19 April 2023

MY PETTY JEALOUSY

 

 

Sibilant whisperings
Greeted me
For it was I
Who stole their glee

The gathering
Looked upon me
As the architect
Of their misery

They could barely
Keep their hate inside
At this wedding
Without a bride

It was all my doing
With my petty jealousy
And with it in me
I had made her flee

YOU HAD ME LOVING YOU

 

You had me loving you from day one

I had you loving me when it begun

But somewhere along the way

Your cheating heart decided to stray

You had me loving you totally

And I thought I had you loving me

But now your heart resides elsewhere

And you have left me in utter despair

You are still the one that I adore

But you don’t love me anymore

You still have me loving you totally

But I no longer have you loving me

ALL THOSE YESTERDAY’S AGO

 

You slipped through my fingers

All those yesterday’s ago,

And how the regret still lingers

For the way I let you go

HEARTS SONG AND MELODY

 

You were my one and only

My hearts song and melody

Now music has been banished

And I suffer alone and silently

YOUR TOUCH

 

Your tender touch

Meant so very much

And I miss that touch

A touch too much

Your tender touch

Meant so very much

And I miss that touch

That was nonesuch

LOVE REMEMBERED

 

I remember falling in love

And there was beauty in the world

Because my love was returned

By you in equal measure

And it was shared by you and I

A love we thought would last

As long as the world kept turning

But we were seriously in error

Because the love has gone

And in our once love filled hearts

There is now an empty hollow

As they pine for what is lost

While in the cool shadows

Our discarded dreams Lay

Abandoned in the gloom

Where the rays of sun light

Cannot penetrate the darkness

As our love lies bleeding

And can never be revived

LOVE CAME ON A WAVE

 

Love came on a wave

But it soon drifted away

On the ebbing tide

LOVE WASHED OVER ME

 

Love washed over me

Liken to the lapping waves

On a lonely beach

JOYFUL DAYS

 

Gone is that joyful day

When we stood before God

Humble in his presence

And we were joined as one

Everything ahead of us

 

Gone are those joyful days

Full of love and laughter

Days of tender moments

And heady nights of passion

Everything ahead of us

 

Gone are those joyful days

When we walked the shoreline

Sunlight glinting on the water

Walking hand in hand

Happy and carefree,

Everything ahead of us

 

Gone are those joyful days

When God blessed our union

Delivering joy into our lives

As our little family grew

And we had everything we desired

 

Gone are those joyful days

When your smile lit up my life

And filled my heart with love

Before it was broken in two

And you were still here with us

 

Gone are the joyful days

Since you have gone before me

And you are now at Gods side

So I will miss you until the day

When God reunites us

 

I look forward to that joyful day

When we stand again together

But though my heart is broken

I must delay our reunion

Because our children need me

And I must love them double now

UNDERMINED

 

Our love, once sturdy

Strong as granite rock

Standing against the storm

Has been eroded

By elements of distrust

Unspoken discontents,

And bitter jealousies

Corrodes like acid

As doubts and suspicions

Grow like cancers

Until they become terminal

Silent killers of love

I PRAYED FOR A LOVE # 2

 

I prayed for a love

A prayer for someone true

Are you the answer? 

I PRAYED FOR A LOVE # 1

 

I prayed for a love

A prayer to loves goddess

You were the answer

ASYMMETRICAL LOVE

 

Why do you hold back?

Why can’t you go all the way?

“I love you” those are the words

That I want to hear you say

 

Don’t be half hearted

I need you one hundred percent

I don’t want you to be unsure

I want you to be content

 

You have to be sure and,

Content as I am in my choice

But you are, not are you?

I can hear it in your voice

 

You don’t feel the same as I

I don’t make your pulse race

Or your heart skip a beat

I’m right; I see it on your face

 

Love isn’t a one-way street

It has to flow both ways

But it isn’t flowing to me

Not even on the best of days

 

Then it’s over and done

I won’t have half measures

It has to be all or nothing

Not just the pleasures

 

I need to be “the one”

I won’t be your second best

I won’t invest my love

With no prospect of interest

 

It’s sad when love ends

And a couple have to part

But I only feel regret that

I never reached your heart

MY SAD WOUNDED HEART

 

My sad wounded heart

Bleeds for the lost of our love

Since we have parted

WE ARE SEPARATE NOW

 

We're separate now,

Irrevocably apart

Leaving broken hearts

SEPARATE

Since we’ve been apart

My wounded heart bleeds for you

I thought you loved me 

LEFT ALONE

 

Tears stung her eyes

And her voice cracked

As she remembered

Her loss hung heavy

Since he, what?

Even now she can’t say it

Could not utter the word

Euphemisms fill her head

Crossed over, left this world, 

Gone to a better place

He’s in the next room

Passed away

Other people can say dead

But she cannot

Seven years have passed

Since it happened, her loss

And she lost so much

A husband, lover, friend

Partner, confident

Soul mate

And even now it hurts

Though the wound

Is an old one

It is still unhealed

Still vivid red, angry

Time is a great healer

They said to help her

To comfort her

But she thinks they lied

REJUVENATED

 

Laughter rings now

In the once empty caverns

Of my heart

Sweet wine now flows,

Replacing the bitter brew

Which once coursed

Through narrowed veins

My senses, once dulled by time

Now sharp, concise

Vision like a soaring eagle

Able to hear the beat

Of a hummingbirds wings

Nostrils filled with exotic scent

Heady and cloying

Exquisite tastes tantalize

An unsophisticated palate

And the reason

For my transformation

My metamorphosis

Is an angel

Earthbound

Who has energized an old man

Invigorated my senses

She has rejuvenated me

Stirred my soul

Though she will never know,

Must never know

How she has affected me

I will view her from a distance

And exchange polite greetings

A warm smile, a familiar nod

I will keep my own counsel

And I will feel contentment

Though my love is unrequited

A NEW YOUNG LOVE

 

A young love, a new love,

Fresh and in bud,

A heart racing-ly exciting love,

Though uncertain,

A future undecided

Though exciting still

A breathless love, full of longing

Eagerness and anticipation

Needing to be together

Reluctance to part

 

Hand touching hand,

Heart touching heart,

A pulse racing love,

With hearts full of love,

Though heads full of doubt

“Do they feel as I?”

“Am I a fool to trust?”

Will their love last?

Will it blossom and grow

Will it bear fruit?

Or will it wither on the vine


THOSE PICTURES OF LILY

 

Her hair was dirty blonde, shoulder length,

Curly loose ringlets cascading down

Her face was Mediterranean, dark, dusky

Eyes black as the night sky in winter,

Brows thick and dark, nose pert, mouth full

Her skin smooth as polished wood,

A figure like a Rodin carving of perfection

Dressed in satin and lace, provocatively

Full breasts hidden within delicate lace

Hips, buttocks, and every feminine curve

Slender legs sheathed in stocking of black silk

Stiletto heels shaping them perfectly

But the perfect vision is not as it seems

For it’s the airbrushed woman of my dreams

Tuesday 18 April 2023

THE WHITE LADY

The soft pale skin of her face was hidden

Beneath the large broad brim of a straw hat

Which cast a dappled shadow across her

Alabaster shoulders; arms and chest

Save for the wispy strands upon her neck

The hat concealed her strawberry curls

And a flowing white silk dress concealed

Her young figure from lascivious eyes

The silk billowing around her, fitting only

Where it touched, her young body a mystery

The vision in white caused men to stare

As a shaft of light burst through the trees

Illuminated her form for everyone to see

Exposing her delights in the summer light

My pulse set racing by the delicious sight

UNDER THE GREAT CLOCK

 

At the Café underneath the great clock,

He sat waiting there suited and booted

Perched on the edge of his seat, restless

As he watched the great clock hands moving

Slowly, as they ticked off the minutes

His palms sweated and his heart pounded

As he waited beneath the great clock face

“What am I doing?” He asked himself

“A blind date! what was I thinking, madness”

He was too old for blind dates, far too old

Why did he agree, what would they talk about?

He wasn’t young, he wasn’t cool, he was

More Wilson Philips than Wilson Picket

But there she was, not too young, and lovely

His mouth was dry and he felt a bit faint

“I was terribly nervous about tonight”

She said putting him straight at his ease

As she slipped off her coat effortlessly

With natural elegance and easy grace.

As he took off his own coat, he hit his arm

On the wall, bumped into a woman,

And knocked over a cruet, she laughed

At his discomfiture, but not mockingly      

And sympathetically she bade him sit

YOUNG ANNE

 

Anne stood on a still riverbank, peaceful,

In that silent and untroubled location

But she knew well that was the very last time

She would stand in that special place alone

A joining of hearts in the days to come

Meant her life would be forever altered.

But remembrances filled her young head

Of when her own council was all she had

But no more since he entered her life

A soul mate, kindred spirit and lover

A friend and yet so much more besides

The other half of her, found at long last

And with this new stranger reunited

They will share the love that is requited

QUITE UNAFFECTED

 

She was beautiful, elegant, and graceful

And held herself with dignity and poise

Yet was unaware of her own attraction

At school, boys of her age, for want of her

Cried themselves to sleep, and not only boys,

But she was unaware of the effect she had,

She turned heads and yet did not notice

This was not arrogance or even aloofness

She just did not see herself as others did

It had always been so, her innocence

Not that she did not date boys or even men,

She was neither virginal nor chaste

She was chased and pursued but not caught

Her heart, when given, went to the one man

Who saw beneath as only a soul mate can

THE STRANGER THAT I KNOW

 

I approached a stranger, a woman

Though not a stranger, somehow familiar

In some way, in her pale eyes I saw what?

Recognition? There was something, but what?

We held each other’s gaze and then stood

We faced each other in silence, watching,

She offered her hand to me with a smile

I took it and smiled back, still in silence

Her hand soft and gentle lay on my own

Until her fine delicate fingers fitted

Between mine like the pieces of a puzzle

Placed to fit with perfection, completing

A picture of lost moments found once more

She spoke and opened an eternal door

HER CHOICE

She sat on an eternal shore, silently thoughtful

Calm unexpressive face, still like granite

Contemplating her destiny, knowing that

The path she chooses, she must take alone

When, to the expected cross roads, she came

Which arrived suddenly, but then not so,

That long awaited, long dreamed of moment.

When choices made can extend far beyond

Like ripples in the water from a thrown stone.

But she must look for the answer inside herself,

So, a deep breath, a sigh and she plants her foot

Upon the chosen trail to who knows where

And with confidence she sets off on her way.

Has she made the right choice who can say? 

I HAVE FOUND THE ONE # 2

 

I have found the one

So Divinely designed

In flawed perfection

I HAVE FOUND THE ONE # 1

 

I have found the one

Lovely, Gentle and kind

My soulmate at last


Tuesday 4 April 2023

I REMEMBER FALLING IN LOVE

 

I remember falling in love

When there was beauty in the world

A love shared by me and you

Which we thought would last

As long as the world kept turning

But we were in error

Because the love has gone

And in our hearts

There is an empty hollow

Pining for what was lost

While in the shadows

Lay our discarded dreams

Lost and lingering

In the gloom

Where the sun light’s ray

Cannot penetrate

And our love cannot be revived

WALKING HAND IN HAND

 

Walking hand in hand

Desire burned slow

And then a moonlight kiss

Ignites passions glow

And Nerves tingle

In baited anticipation

But he holds his roaring lust

In silence suppression

Though erotic thoughts

Bring Images of sin

And mouth-watering joys

That would soon begin

 

BEAUTEOUS FLOWER

 

There is a great beauty

And hers was revealed

As it unfurled before me

Like the petals of a flower

Opening to the sun’s rays.

In a moment, embers,

Which had smouldered unseen

Ignited into burning fire

And that fire burned for her

And amidst that passion

Was a flaming desire

To see the petals of her

Own sweet flower

As yet unseen

IN HER WEDDING DRESS

 

In her wedding dress

His eyes watched as the sun

Danced on the silver thread.

The pattern was pure, unadulterated

Like the precious contents,

But that night his eyes alighted

On the pattern of another dress

One of shimmering silk

Whose pristine flimsiness

Stood momentarily between

Him and his expectant bride

LOVE LETTERS IN THE LIBRARY

 

I entered the musty library,

Of the once great house

With its leather upholstered chairs

And oak panelled walls,

Instantly feeling at home,

So I took a seat in a chesterfield beside the fire

And in comfort I began to read

But my chosen reading was not

One of the myriad of leather bound tomes

That filled the oak shelves from floor to ceiling

Nor a rare first edition, of which there were many,

I had my choice of all the classics

With their gold embossed titles

But my selection was a collection of letters

Neatly tied in faded red ribbons

And as I began to read them

They took my breath away

For each beautifully hand written page

Was part of a remarkable love story

About a most extraordinary couple

Whose depth of love was evident

In every eloquent syllable.

 

As I read on, their love affair

Was revealed to me as a most exceptional love story

For this lovingly devoted couple

Who billed and cooed in copperplate

On every scented page and shared their hearts love

In unguarded detail, had never met

For they had begun to write

In the innocence of childhood

As pen pals, for a project set by School

It was a chore that had to be done

But it didn’t remain burdensome

Yet even though they had never met

Their love was evident, in fact it was palpable

In their intimate personnel correspondence

No that’s not what it was

Correspondence did not in any form

Convey the true meaning of their substance.

The tangibility was in their Love letters

That’s the only way to say it

The flowery words of an affaire d’amour

Echoed in the calligraphy on every page

Each revealing billet doux

More affectionate, romantic and intimate

Than its passionate predecessor

They billed and cooed on every page

Each lovingly constructed sentence

Heavily laced with innuendo

And dripped with sensual longing,

Subtle yet explicit at the same time

Flavoured with delicious nuances

Flirtatious and lustful

Romantic and affectionate

A love of such perfect purity,

Not for its pureness of thought

But for the absence of any hope of physicality

For their love was star-crossed

She was an invalid, bed ridden

Stricken with polio as a child

While he was a subject of an enemy state

And because their two nations were at war

She couldn’t go to him even if her health permitted

And he was unable to go to her

For fear of capture and imprisonment

So they could never meet, would never meet

And they were content in that fact

For their love transcended the physical

So they made love via their sweet missives

A love that never faded or faltered

In an affair lasting more than forty years

Which only ended with his death

 

The one and only public acknowledgement

Of the lifelong love affair, was in his will

When he expressed as his dying wish

That her letters, which were so precious

To him and cherished during his life

Should be returned to his love

So that they at least should lie together

She was so broken hearted at the news

That her cherished lover had left the world

She died a week after receiving them

And they could be united at last

THEY ONLY WENT TO HEAR A SWING BAND PLAY

 

They only went to hear a swing band play

Then feet started to tap and bodies began to sway

Then they smooch along to “moonlight bay”

HOW MANY OF US CAN SAY

How many of us can say

That our hearts overflow

And we are truly happy

It’s akin to winning the lotto

And I know all too well

Because I hit the jackpot

I had it all, until I balked

At thoughts of tying the knot

That’s why I now sit alone

Sad and broken hearted

And living with the regret

Because we parted

TYING MYSELF DOWN TO ANOTHER SOUL

 

Tying myself down to another soul

Always gave me a fright

So, whenever someone got close

I would always take flight

And I lived solely by that plan

Even the slightest hint of admiration

Would be enough to spur me on

To some hitherto unknown destination

And I could have spent an eternity

Constantly running away from love
Then we met and at once I knew
That you fit me perfectly like a glove

THEY MET ONE DAY AT THE PARK

 

They met one day at the park

Just an everyday happenstance

She thought he had promise

From the very first glance

But giving herself was a gamble

So was it worth a chance?

She thought she would and was

Rewarded with a great romance

MY LIFE WAS A PERFECT HARMONY AND

 

My life was a perfect harmony and

Love was the rhythm of the dance

I hear no music now or feel the rhythm

And that’s my lonely circumstance

AN ANGEL MIGHT FALL FROM THE SKY

 

An Angel might fall from the sky,

A Goddess may fall from a tree,

But you only lived next door

When you fell in love with me


A CALL OF THE INNOCENCE

 

A call of the innocence

That was what it was

When the fifteen year old me

Picked up the phone

To call Theresa Flaherty

My palms were so sweaty

I could barely hold the phone

Whereas my mouth was so dry

I doubted I could speak

But I dialled the number

And I eventually got it right

On the third attempt

And then it seemed

To ring for an eternity

But then it was answered

“Hello” the sweet voice said

“Theresa?” I croaked

“Yes” she replied sweetly

“It’s Paul” I said “from school”

I don’t know why I added the last bit

“Oh hi Paul” she said

And I tried to gauge if it was

A despairing “oh hi Paul”

Or a pleasantly surprised one

But as I had never asked

A girl out before

I had no benchmark for it

So a few minutes passed

Of nervous small talk

Interspersed with awkward silences

As the heart in my chest pounded
And beat like an eagles wing

While my head throbbed

And my stomach

Was a flutter of butterflies

As I approached the reason for my call

And the question I had for her

Which I had been rehearsing all week

But it vanished from my mind

So in the end I rather abruptly blurted out

“Will you go to the pictures with me?”

“Oh” she exclaimed with surprise

And added “Yes I’d love to”

My heart was doing cartwheels of delight

But I had to try to remain calm

“That’s great” I responded and hung up

And so ended a call of innocence,

And then I cursed myself for being an idiot

So I rang Theresa again five minutes later

To discuss the date, place and time

And so began our first passion

AS WE STROLL ALONG THE MUDDY PUDDLED PATHS

 

As we stroll along the muddy puddled paths

That dissect the lush green pasture

We are caught in a squally august shower

And must hastily head for cover

It was a futile gesture as we were soaked

Within a minute of running through wet grass

But we eventually reached a sturdy oak

Where we waited out the storm, until

Bright yellow beams of light pierced the canopy

We emerged from our cover and resumed the stroll

Everything was wet from the rain, with

Raindrop glistening on every leaf and bough

So we made haste along the sun swathed paths
Safe in the knowledge that when the rain came again

They would be safely inside looking out

YOU CANNOT LIVE YOUR LIFE ON THE SAME PAGE

You cannot live your life on the same page

Nor can you reread pages from happier times

You must turn to a new page and write on

Leave the pain of loss and regret

On the bookshelf and start a new chapter

And fill the pages with what life has to offer