Yvonne Maher was over fifty, only just over, but none the less she was the wrong side of that particular milestone.
And she had a younger lover, 20 years younger to be precise.
She supposed that made her a cougar.
Yvonne had just come through a divorce when they met.
Not that she was heartbroken or needed picking up from it.
She didn’t mind being divorced, she hardly ever saw her husband Graham when they were together anyway.
He was always either on the golf course on in the 19th.
When she met her young lover, Philip, it opened her eyes and showed her that she was still an attractive woman, still a sexy woman, Graham didn’t appreciate that.
She was very flattered to still attract male attention at her age she had had so little attention paid to her by her ex-husband.
Philip was very attentive, very considerate and extremely vigorous
A session with him was like Zumba and Pilates combined.
After a weekend with him she was quite literally shagged out.
She didn’t like to seem ungrateful as many women would be quite envious if she’d ever told anyone.
They would not have been sympathetic if she did.
After all there was a lot to be said for being orgasmed to the point of unconsciousness.
But sometimes she just wanted a cuddle and an early night.
If she wasn’t careful his vital and sustained attention would shag her into an early grave.
Plus she was no teenager anymore and getting ready for a date that would end with her being well and truly ravished took a lot longer than it used to do.
As a teen a squirt of perfume and some lippy and she was good to go.
Now she needed 24 hours’ notice and five hours to prepare.
Yvonne wondered if it was worth it, well obviously when he was attending to her it was marvellous and then it was worth it.
And sex with Philip was really marvellous but it was also very exhausting.
She really just wanted someone of her own age who would appreciate her for what she was when she wasn’t glammed up someone she could be herself with.
Not that useless article of an ex-husband though, someone kind and considerate.
Of course she didn’t really have to see Philip again she could always just stay home and have a relaxing bath and avail herself of a digit otherwise his stamina could be the death of her.
Sunday, 29 January 2017
Those Memories Made on Teardrop Lake – (25) New to Life and Christmas Too
(Part 01)
In Coopers Hill Cottage on a cold, damp and foggy December afternoon Angelika Schmeltz and Megan Thomas lay naked beneath the duvet of the formers King-size bed.
And in its cosiness they were both silently contemplating their situation and reflecting that it was not how they had envisaged the day panning out.
Angelika was holding Megan, who had her head on her new lover’s chest.
It was Megan who finally broke the silence when she said
“That was quite a surprise”
“Which part?” Angelika asked
“All of it” she replied “but it was a very nice surprise”
“Which part?” Angelika asked
“All of it” she replied and giggled
“I’d never done it before” She confessed, in fact Megan had never done anything before, with anyone, she was a virgin in every conceivable sense of the word.
She hadn’t even touched herself very much.
“I know sweetie” Angelika said
“Do you mind?” the novice asked
“No of course not” she replied “You do know that I’ve done it before?”
“God yes” she replied and giggled again
“But I didn’t know you were a ….”
Angelika chuckled and kissed her forehead and said
“A lesbian”
“That’s right, because I automatically assumed Charlie was a man”
Megan explained.
Charlie was Angelika’s partner of 25 years until she died.
“Are you disappointed?” she asked
“What with?” Megan replied with another question
“The fact that I’m a Lesbian” answered Angelika
“Are you kidding? After what we just did?”
They both giggled and then Meg kissed Angel with warmth and passion.
“You realise that this means you are a Lesbian too now?”
“Really?” she asked “How exotic”
And she cuddled up closer still to her lover.
“What would my mother say?”
“Do you care?” Angelika asked
“Not for a second”
They lay quiet again for a few minutes before Megan said sheepishly
“I do have one question though”
“What’s that sweetie?” Angel asked
“I was just wondering when we might um…” she began
“You were wondering what?” she asked suspiciously
“Well when we could do it again?” she asked and buried her face in Angel’s chest to hide her embarrassment
“You little hussy” she said
“I know” Megan said without lifting her head
“Well as it’s a foggy afternoon and we’re all cosy warm in bed already I suppose we could do it again right now”
“Oooh smashing” Megan purred “I like the sound of that”
In the six months since her mother’s death, Megan Thomas had changed beyond all recognition.
She had moved to Teardrop Lake to fulfil a lifelong dream to live in the country, and she had fulfilled several other dreams along the way.
She was now the proud owner of a dog called Skipper, a car which she named Harrison, because it was a Ford, and a TV.
All things that her mother heartily disapproved of.
However at the age of 47 and with no life experience, the one thing she had dared not dream of was falling in love.
And quite frankly if she had thought of it at all or even if she had dreamt about falling in love, she doubted that that dream would have been to fall in love with a woman, and yet it happened anyway.
And was something else Mother would have disapproved of.
(Part 02)
Angelika Schmeltz on the other hand hadn’t dreamt of falling in love for a very different reason.
She had closed her heart to it, and drawn a line under such emotions.
For the five years since the death of her long term lover Charlie she never thought of love for a second.
It wasn’t just that she was reluctant to fall in love, she merely accepted that that chapter of her life was over and done with because she felt when Charlie died, part of her died too, and that she would never find another mate who would measure up to her.
And then she met a funny little red head wandering the woods with an American Cocker Spaniel and she felt alive again.
When Charlie passed, Angelika had pledged never to love again to protect herself against another broken heart.
But that was like living a half-life, yes there might be pain but the joy far outweighed the risk.
Since Megan had moved to Teardrop Lake she had discovered that life was actually rather wonderful.
She also discovered that there were things worth watching on Television and that there were some things in life that were even more enjoyable than “It’s a Wonderful Life”
One of them was Christmas and one of them very definitely wasn’t.
A couple of days after they kissed beneath the mistletoe and ended up making love.
Angelika managed to get Megan out of bed long enough to take her into Abbottsford to do some Christmas shopping.
“I’ve never been Christmas shopping before” Megan said
“Well there were several other things you had never done before and you seem to have mastered those quite nicely sweetie” Angelika said and Megan went Santa Red and giggled.
It was only a week from the big day and Angelika was unaccustomed to leaving it so late.
She liked to get things done early but she had got out of the habit.
It had been a long, long time since she had had to buy presents for anyone special.
But now she did have someone special to buy for so she took Megan into to Abbottsford to the Phoenix Shopping Centre.
The centre had been dressed for Christmas in tinsel and foil and twinkling lights almost since the beginning of October.
“My Goodness” Meg said “It’s huge”
“It is rather” Angelika agreed
“Have you never been here before?”
Megan began to speak but Angelika interrupted her
“That was a silly question wasn’t it?”
Megan nodded
“So look around and remember where you are and we will meet back here in an hour and a half” Angelika said
“Can’t we go around together?” Meg asked sounding very small
“Well not really Hun” Angel said “as we’re buying for each other, they are supposed to be surprises”
“Oh yes I see what you mean” she said she was going to add sorry but I’m new to this but Angelika took hold of her hand and kissed her which gave her strength.
“Ok then back here at 11.30” she said and they went their separate ways.
Angelika knew where she was going first, she knew exactly what main present to get for her.
So that wasn’t a problem, it was the little extras, the stocking fillers that took the time, those little things that made Christmas morning extra special.
For Megan it was yet another new thing she had to experience.
Because her mother Edith, didn’t believe in the commercial side of the holiday there were never any presents, no frivolity or festivities.
So no need for Christmas shopping, wrapping paper or gift tags.
They celebrated Christmas to the extent that they ate Christmas dinner and went to the Church services but only the religious side of the season was ever observed.
Church, faith and her love of books were the only thing she retained from her old life.
Everything else was new and fresh and rather wonderful.
So having never done Christmas before, buying presents and treats was totally alien to her and she didn’t know where to start.
Until she passed a dazzling shop window that held her entranced.
“That’s absolutely perfect” she said and her eyes fixed on the prize.
(Part 03)
They were to meet back where they had started at 11.30, Angelika was there first and Megan trotted up about five minutes later.
“I thought I’d lost you” Angelika said
“Sorry, I lost track of time” she said “It’s very exciting isn’t it?”
“Yes it is” Angelika replied and smiled at the little redhead loaded with bags.
“Once I got started I didn’t know how to stop” Megan said and giggled
“You’re really lovely” Angel said and kissed her
They went and had Coffee and a cake in the food court and assessed their progress.
It transpired they only had to get paper and bows and a few etcetera’s so they went off together to complete the shopping before they went home.
When they got back to Shallowfield they dropped off their respective purchases at their respective homes and took their respective excited dogs for a good long walk.
Then they went back to Megs to watch the Matinee “The Shop around the Corner”
And at the end of the film both women were in tears again
“That was another brilliant one” Megan said and then started laughing
“What are you laughing at?” Angelika asked
“Well the last time we watched a James Stewart film together I discovered I was a Lesbian” she said “And I just wondered what I was going to discover this time”
And then they were both laughing hysterically.
The week between the exciting Christmas shopping trip and Christmas itself was spent in the way that had become their accustomed manner.
Watching more classic films, and taking more long walks in the woods with the dogs and of course being cosy beneath Angelika’s duvet.
But in addition to the customary activities there were also presents to wrap, another first for Megan.
She had neither given nor received a gift in her entire life.
On Christmas Eve, Megan drove “Harrison” down to St Mary’s Church, she hadn’t been a regular at the Church since she’d moved there but she had attended three Sunday services, the Christingle and the Carol service.
She had asked Angelika to join her a couple of times but she hadn’t been to Church since Charlie passed, and she was still angry with God for taking her and she was quite unforgiving on the subject, and was totally unmovable on the matter, for now.
Megan thought she would probably wear her down eventually but she didn’t want to push it.
Although Angelika had decline for Megan Midnight Mass was an un-missable event, so she went alone.
Megan said a few hello’s and thought to herself that there was a good sized congregation for the service.
She always found the Midnight Mass very moving and quite atmospheric it was possible that as it was conducted in the semi darkness it added to the magic.
So she took her seat and settled herself and then she bowed her head, closed her eyes and took a few moments to pray.
When she opened them again she was not alone.
“You came” Megan said and took Angels hand and cried
“Don’t cry honey” Angel said
“But I’m so happy that you’re here” Meg said wiping her eyes
“I’m still angry with him for taking her” she said defiantly looking to the heavens
“But now I know he only took her so he could give me you”
Angel said and Megan was crying again
“I love you Angelika Schmeltz” she said
“I love you too” she replied “and I really want to kiss you”
“Well you’ll have to wait until later” Megan said and smiled before adding “Have a little self-control”
“I don’t believe it” she said “I’m being chastised by a hussy”
In Coopers Hill Cottage on a cold, damp and foggy December afternoon Angelika Schmeltz and Megan Thomas lay naked beneath the duvet of the formers King-size bed.
And in its cosiness they were both silently contemplating their situation and reflecting that it was not how they had envisaged the day panning out.
Angelika was holding Megan, who had her head on her new lover’s chest.
It was Megan who finally broke the silence when she said
“That was quite a surprise”
“Which part?” Angelika asked
“All of it” she replied “but it was a very nice surprise”
“Which part?” Angelika asked
“All of it” she replied and giggled
“I’d never done it before” She confessed, in fact Megan had never done anything before, with anyone, she was a virgin in every conceivable sense of the word.
She hadn’t even touched herself very much.
“I know sweetie” Angelika said
“Do you mind?” the novice asked
“No of course not” she replied “You do know that I’ve done it before?”
“God yes” she replied and giggled again
“But I didn’t know you were a ….”
Angelika chuckled and kissed her forehead and said
“A lesbian”
“That’s right, because I automatically assumed Charlie was a man”
Megan explained.
Charlie was Angelika’s partner of 25 years until she died.
“Are you disappointed?” she asked
“What with?” Megan replied with another question
“The fact that I’m a Lesbian” answered Angelika
“Are you kidding? After what we just did?”
They both giggled and then Meg kissed Angel with warmth and passion.
“You realise that this means you are a Lesbian too now?”
“Really?” she asked “How exotic”
And she cuddled up closer still to her lover.
“What would my mother say?”
“Do you care?” Angelika asked
“Not for a second”
They lay quiet again for a few minutes before Megan said sheepishly
“I do have one question though”
“What’s that sweetie?” Angel asked
“I was just wondering when we might um…” she began
“You were wondering what?” she asked suspiciously
“Well when we could do it again?” she asked and buried her face in Angel’s chest to hide her embarrassment
“You little hussy” she said
“I know” Megan said without lifting her head
“Well as it’s a foggy afternoon and we’re all cosy warm in bed already I suppose we could do it again right now”
“Oooh smashing” Megan purred “I like the sound of that”
In the six months since her mother’s death, Megan Thomas had changed beyond all recognition.
She had moved to Teardrop Lake to fulfil a lifelong dream to live in the country, and she had fulfilled several other dreams along the way.
She was now the proud owner of a dog called Skipper, a car which she named Harrison, because it was a Ford, and a TV.
All things that her mother heartily disapproved of.
However at the age of 47 and with no life experience, the one thing she had dared not dream of was falling in love.
And quite frankly if she had thought of it at all or even if she had dreamt about falling in love, she doubted that that dream would have been to fall in love with a woman, and yet it happened anyway.
And was something else Mother would have disapproved of.
(Part 02)
Angelika Schmeltz on the other hand hadn’t dreamt of falling in love for a very different reason.
She had closed her heart to it, and drawn a line under such emotions.
For the five years since the death of her long term lover Charlie she never thought of love for a second.
It wasn’t just that she was reluctant to fall in love, she merely accepted that that chapter of her life was over and done with because she felt when Charlie died, part of her died too, and that she would never find another mate who would measure up to her.
And then she met a funny little red head wandering the woods with an American Cocker Spaniel and she felt alive again.
When Charlie passed, Angelika had pledged never to love again to protect herself against another broken heart.
But that was like living a half-life, yes there might be pain but the joy far outweighed the risk.
Since Megan had moved to Teardrop Lake she had discovered that life was actually rather wonderful.
She also discovered that there were things worth watching on Television and that there were some things in life that were even more enjoyable than “It’s a Wonderful Life”
One of them was Christmas and one of them very definitely wasn’t.
A couple of days after they kissed beneath the mistletoe and ended up making love.
Angelika managed to get Megan out of bed long enough to take her into Abbottsford to do some Christmas shopping.
“I’ve never been Christmas shopping before” Megan said
“Well there were several other things you had never done before and you seem to have mastered those quite nicely sweetie” Angelika said and Megan went Santa Red and giggled.
It was only a week from the big day and Angelika was unaccustomed to leaving it so late.
She liked to get things done early but she had got out of the habit.
It had been a long, long time since she had had to buy presents for anyone special.
But now she did have someone special to buy for so she took Megan into to Abbottsford to the Phoenix Shopping Centre.
The centre had been dressed for Christmas in tinsel and foil and twinkling lights almost since the beginning of October.
“My Goodness” Meg said “It’s huge”
“It is rather” Angelika agreed
“Have you never been here before?”
Megan began to speak but Angelika interrupted her
“That was a silly question wasn’t it?”
Megan nodded
“So look around and remember where you are and we will meet back here in an hour and a half” Angelika said
“Can’t we go around together?” Meg asked sounding very small
“Well not really Hun” Angel said “as we’re buying for each other, they are supposed to be surprises”
“Oh yes I see what you mean” she said she was going to add sorry but I’m new to this but Angelika took hold of her hand and kissed her which gave her strength.
“Ok then back here at 11.30” she said and they went their separate ways.
Angelika knew where she was going first, she knew exactly what main present to get for her.
So that wasn’t a problem, it was the little extras, the stocking fillers that took the time, those little things that made Christmas morning extra special.
For Megan it was yet another new thing she had to experience.
Because her mother Edith, didn’t believe in the commercial side of the holiday there were never any presents, no frivolity or festivities.
So no need for Christmas shopping, wrapping paper or gift tags.
They celebrated Christmas to the extent that they ate Christmas dinner and went to the Church services but only the religious side of the season was ever observed.
Church, faith and her love of books were the only thing she retained from her old life.
Everything else was new and fresh and rather wonderful.
So having never done Christmas before, buying presents and treats was totally alien to her and she didn’t know where to start.
Until she passed a dazzling shop window that held her entranced.
“That’s absolutely perfect” she said and her eyes fixed on the prize.
(Part 03)
They were to meet back where they had started at 11.30, Angelika was there first and Megan trotted up about five minutes later.
“I thought I’d lost you” Angelika said
“Sorry, I lost track of time” she said “It’s very exciting isn’t it?”
“Yes it is” Angelika replied and smiled at the little redhead loaded with bags.
“Once I got started I didn’t know how to stop” Megan said and giggled
“You’re really lovely” Angel said and kissed her
They went and had Coffee and a cake in the food court and assessed their progress.
It transpired they only had to get paper and bows and a few etcetera’s so they went off together to complete the shopping before they went home.
When they got back to Shallowfield they dropped off their respective purchases at their respective homes and took their respective excited dogs for a good long walk.
Then they went back to Megs to watch the Matinee “The Shop around the Corner”
And at the end of the film both women were in tears again
“That was another brilliant one” Megan said and then started laughing
“What are you laughing at?” Angelika asked
“Well the last time we watched a James Stewart film together I discovered I was a Lesbian” she said “And I just wondered what I was going to discover this time”
And then they were both laughing hysterically.
The week between the exciting Christmas shopping trip and Christmas itself was spent in the way that had become their accustomed manner.
Watching more classic films, and taking more long walks in the woods with the dogs and of course being cosy beneath Angelika’s duvet.
But in addition to the customary activities there were also presents to wrap, another first for Megan.
She had neither given nor received a gift in her entire life.
On Christmas Eve, Megan drove “Harrison” down to St Mary’s Church, she hadn’t been a regular at the Church since she’d moved there but she had attended three Sunday services, the Christingle and the Carol service.
She had asked Angelika to join her a couple of times but she hadn’t been to Church since Charlie passed, and she was still angry with God for taking her and she was quite unforgiving on the subject, and was totally unmovable on the matter, for now.
Megan thought she would probably wear her down eventually but she didn’t want to push it.
Although Angelika had decline for Megan Midnight Mass was an un-missable event, so she went alone.
Megan said a few hello’s and thought to herself that there was a good sized congregation for the service.
She always found the Midnight Mass very moving and quite atmospheric it was possible that as it was conducted in the semi darkness it added to the magic.
So she took her seat and settled herself and then she bowed her head, closed her eyes and took a few moments to pray.
When she opened them again she was not alone.
“You came” Megan said and took Angels hand and cried
“Don’t cry honey” Angel said
“But I’m so happy that you’re here” Meg said wiping her eyes
“I’m still angry with him for taking her” she said defiantly looking to the heavens
“But now I know he only took her so he could give me you”
Angel said and Megan was crying again
“I love you Angelika Schmeltz” she said
“I love you too” she replied “and I really want to kiss you”
“Well you’ll have to wait until later” Megan said and smiled before adding “Have a little self-control”
“I don’t believe it” she said “I’m being chastised by a hussy”
Saturday, 28 January 2017
The Pros and Cons of a Younger Woman
Tom Haggerty was fifty one and recently widowed and immediately after his wife’s death he seemed to suddenly appear on the radar of the local spinsters and divorcees in and around his age.
After rebuffing endless advances he finally decided out of desperation and loneliness to dip his toe in the water and this went on for some time but his heart was not in it.
Then by chance one day he met Lisa, a younger woman, a considerably younger woman whom at the time he completely overlooked because she couldn’t possibly be interested in him, or so he thought, well he was wrong
He felt faintly ridiculous having a 25 year old girlfriend and was extremely amazed and delighted though amazed more so if he was honest.
His wife would laugh if she could see him.
He missed her.
The sex with Lisa was amazing and made his toes curl just to think about it.
And without wanting to be disloyal to his late wife’s memory it was probably the best sex he’d ever had.
She was supple, agile, pliable in fact she was really exceptionally bendy
With inexhaustible stamina.
But even though Lisa was as horny as hell she was unfortunately duller than ditch water.
She was fun to be with, he supposed, but her company wasn’t stimulating other than in the obvious way.
Any red bloodied man not in his position would have thought him quite man for ending it.
But then Lisa did not meet his needs.
For what he wanted was someone like his wife who loved him and who he could love and more importantly talk too.
Lisa was not the answer to this want.
She could not fill his desire for some nice gentle love making and an affectionate cuddle and some grown up conversation.
She was not someone he could fall asleep in front of the TV with.
After rebuffing endless advances he finally decided out of desperation and loneliness to dip his toe in the water and this went on for some time but his heart was not in it.
Then by chance one day he met Lisa, a younger woman, a considerably younger woman whom at the time he completely overlooked because she couldn’t possibly be interested in him, or so he thought, well he was wrong
He felt faintly ridiculous having a 25 year old girlfriend and was extremely amazed and delighted though amazed more so if he was honest.
His wife would laugh if she could see him.
He missed her.
The sex with Lisa was amazing and made his toes curl just to think about it.
And without wanting to be disloyal to his late wife’s memory it was probably the best sex he’d ever had.
She was supple, agile, pliable in fact she was really exceptionally bendy
With inexhaustible stamina.
But even though Lisa was as horny as hell she was unfortunately duller than ditch water.
She was fun to be with, he supposed, but her company wasn’t stimulating other than in the obvious way.
Any red bloodied man not in his position would have thought him quite man for ending it.
But then Lisa did not meet his needs.
For what he wanted was someone like his wife who loved him and who he could love and more importantly talk too.
Lisa was not the answer to this want.
She could not fill his desire for some nice gentle love making and an affectionate cuddle and some grown up conversation.
She was not someone he could fall asleep in front of the TV with.
Mistletoe and Miracles
(Part One)
It was Christmas Day at my parents’ house and it was heaving with all my happy semi intoxicated relatives, Mum and Dad, my kid brother, two older sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins.
And I’m glad they were happy even if I wasn’t.
I just wished they would take their happiness elsewhere I had no need of it.
Even if I was the reason the entire clan had assembled that day.
It was my mother’s idea to invite everyone to make Christmas noisy and happy and jolly to keep me distracted.
My mother was something of a force of nature so when she “invited” it was generally accepted to be an order, she meant well of course.
Christmas Dinner was tolerable enough, the jollity was blissfully muted when they had their mouths full of my mums excellent cooking.
But then as soon as the last spoonful of Christmas Pud had been consumed it all ramped up again.
Mum organized the girls in the kitchen and Dad got everyone else clearing away in preparation for an afternoon of fun.
I retreated to the hall and got my coat on the last thing I needed was fun.
“Where are you going Nick?” mum asked
“I just need to walk my dinner off” I replied patting my stomach
She nodded her understanding and knew it was nothing to do with needing a constitutional.
“Do you want some company?” she asked
“No mum I’ll be fine, I won’t be long”
“You’ll need your hat and scarf” she insisted and draped a scarf around my neck and pulled my woolen hat on my head.
Then she put a hand on each cheek and kissed me like she did when I was a boy.
I smiled a weak smile.
"You’ll need gloves as well" she said “its bitter cold out there”
Her voice cracked and she walked quickly back into the kitchen.
I wished for her sake I could hide my sadness, it had almost been as difficult a year for her as it had for me.
"I'll be fine mum," I said to myself "I just need time”
I braced myself as I opened the front door and then walked outside and saw it was still snowing.
I reached the end of the path and turned back to look at the Waterfield house where I had spent such a happy childhood.
It was midafternoon and it was already getting dark so I decided to stick to the main road until my eyes became accustomed.
It was years since I had seen a white Christmas, it was a shame I wasn’t in a better frame of mind to enjoy it.
Even in the semi darkness there was clear evidence the village children had been out in force.
There was no sign of them as the light began to fail they were probably lured back indoors with mugs of hot chocolate by their concerned families.
As I made my way up the hill towards St Jane’s church the snow started to fall harder.
I looked at the houses as I passed them with coloured lights resplendent and wondered at what sadness lurked in their homes and then I chastised myself for my self-pity.
It was just that I had had such high hopes for that Christmas, it had held so much promise.
I’d started a new job the previous February, I am an engineer by profession.
And as every other new hire I got the first day office tour, on this occasion conducted by my new boss Gary Ash.
After shaking hands with an indeterminate number of employees I began to understand what the Queen had to contend with.
“This is the procurement department” Gary said and half a dozen heads turned around to greet us and one smartly dressed young woman stepped out of a corner office.
“Ah Gina” Gary called “This is Nick Waterfield the new head of Engineering”
Gina reached out her hand and I took it
“Gina Davies” she said and that was that, she had me hook line and sinker, we had our first date that Friday and we were married just after Easter.
It was a whirlwind romance and we had our whole lives ahead of us and we made plans upon plans.
Of course what we never planned for was a drunk driver to cross the central reservation and hit her head on as she drove home the day before Halloween.
I should have been with her, we always drove home together but at the last minute I had to go to Aberdeen so she died alone.
I wished I’d been in the car with her, I wished I’d died with her then I wouldn’t have felt so shit.
(Part Two)
The snow was falling fast and the wind was blowing it straight at me so discretion being the better part of valor, I decided to take refuge in the Church of Saint Jane Frances de Chantal.
I hadn’t set foot in a church since the funeral, God and I had not been on speaking terms since he took Gina.
I didn’t plan to go in I just intended taking shelter in the porch until the snow eased off a bit, but the door suddenly opened.
"What on earth are you doing out here?" said a voice behind me
I turned around to see it was Charli Newcombe.
They had gone to school together and had even dated briefly on two separate occasions.
Once when they were still at school and again when he returned from university.
But it never seemed to happen for them.
“Hey Charli” he said "I was just out for a walk."
“In this?” she said
"So what are you really doing out here?"
“Trivial Pursuits” I replied
“What?”
“The family are all playing Trivial Pursuits, I didn’t really fancy it”
“I see”
"Anyway it’s Christmas Day” I retorted “Shouldn't you be at home watching The Sound of Music?”
"You’d think so wouldn’t you, My folks are both asleep in front of the TV and I had sole control of the remote, and I suddenly got the notion I should come and get the church ready for tomorrows service” even she seemed surprised by her answer.
Apart from running the general store and post office Charli was also the church warden.
Her late husband Tony had been the Vicar.
Charli was the same age as me give or take a month or two, I was thirty and she was a month short of that milestone.
And like me she was born and bred in the village.
She had married Tony shortly after he got the job as Vicar he was quite a few years older than her but she loved him to distraction, and you can’t argue with love.
She was devastated when he had a heart attack in the church and died.
That was shortly after he had performed the wedding ceremony for Gina and I.
I had seen a lot of her since I came back to stay with my parents in the village.
I suppose I sought her out because of our history together and I knew she would understand how it felt to lose someone.
And maybe help me come to terms with the grief.
We had talked it through endlessly and had burnt the midnight oil many times.
And some of the old feelings I had for her had come to the surface, for which I felt immensely guilty and disloyal to Gina’s memory.
“You look like you could do with a hot drink," she said opening the door
"No I won’t come in thanks" I said
"It’s Christmas, you could call a truce for the sake of the day at least”
"Ok" I relented and hesitantly followed her into the church.
The most overwhelming feeling washed over me.
It was one of great happiness as I remembered that wonderful day when Gina and I were married.
I would have expected to feel sorrow at the memory but it was pure joy I felt and immense pride.
I took off my hat, scarf and gloves and I know it will sound silly but the moment I crossed the threshold into the sanctuary of the church I’d felt a weight lift from me.
Charli had gone into a side room and switched on the light but I found I was walking down the aisle towards the altar where I paused briefly before an effigy of the saint and then sat down on the front pew.
(Part Three)
When I got up from the front pew I found all the anger and resentment had washed away I felt more positive than I had in weeks and I felt I could even look forward.
I stood up and smiled at St Jane and went in search of the drink I was offered.
I found Charli in the little kitchen sat at a small table and she looked up at me and smiled and as I walked in I returned her smile.
"Is this mine?" I asked pointing at a mug by the kettle
"Yes" she replied "but I’ll make you a fresh one”
“No this will be fine” I said and took a sip “Urgh”
“I told you” Charli said laughing
“How long was I sitting out there?” I asked her
She checked her watch
“About forty minutes”
“I’m sorry” I said “it only seemed like two or three”
“So how do you feel?” she enquired
“Surprisingly good” I replied and sat down “St Jane was very helpful”
“Yes she is isn’t she” Charli said as she re-boiled the kettle
“I’m still angry that I didn’t get to say goodbye to her” I admitted
“I know that feeling” Charli retorted
“We had such a short time together, we should have had decades, and instead we only had months”
And then I surprised myself when I smiled at her and added
“But those months were so special and so filled with joy that the time we had together was priceless”
“Amen to that” Charli said
“Which is precisely what you’ve been telling me all these weeks” I confessed
“Uh huh” she responded and we sat and drank our coffee in a comfortable silence.
Charli’s flicked her eyes upwards and caused me to do the same and I saw the mistletoe hanging above the table then she leant across the table and kissed me.
After the kiss it was me who broke the silence
"So do you have someone special in your life?”
"Do you mean a boyfriend?” she replied
"Yes" I said
"I was kind of hoping you might want the job” Charli said
“I think I would” I said and reached across the table and took hold of her hand.
“If you’ll have me”
She leant across the table and kissed me again this time it was a long lingering sensual kiss.
“Are we allowed to do that in church?” I asked
“Only on Christmas Day” she replied and kissed me again.
She locked up the Church and we stepped out from the shelter of the porch and the snow had abated but it was still falling and I smiled as it accumulated on top of her hat.
I offered her my hand which she accepted gladly and then I walked her home hand in hand through the snow.
Her parents’ house was only two doors down from mine so walking her home wasn’t out of the way not that it would have made any difference if she had lived on the other side of the village.
We stopped by the front gate and stood facing each other and I leant in and kissed her, her response was immediate and yielding.
It was a long purposeful kiss full of tenderness and hope for the future.
When I reluctantly broke away I said
“I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
“Yes” Charli replied and went up the path, pausing at the door to turn and wave before she went inside.
“Are you alright dear?” Mum asked with concern
“Yes” I said and smiled “I rather think I am”
And the effect on her was instant as the worry and anxiety melted away and she looked five years younger in an instant.
“I’m so glad” she said and rushed forward to hug me.
I have to admit I have given a good deal of reflective thought about exactly what happened that snowy Christmas Day afternoon.
Was it coincidence that I chose to walk in the direction of St Jane’s Church, or that I needed to take shelter precisely as I passed its sanctuary, or that Charli would open the door to leave just as I stood sheltering beneath the porch?
And what possessed her to leave the warmth and comfort of her parent’s cozy fireside on Christmas Day to tidy a cold and draughty Church.
I know what I believe and as to what transpired between me and the Saint as I sat on that Church pew is between me, St Jane and God.
It was Christmas Day at my parents’ house and it was heaving with all my happy semi intoxicated relatives, Mum and Dad, my kid brother, two older sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins.
And I’m glad they were happy even if I wasn’t.
I just wished they would take their happiness elsewhere I had no need of it.
Even if I was the reason the entire clan had assembled that day.
It was my mother’s idea to invite everyone to make Christmas noisy and happy and jolly to keep me distracted.
My mother was something of a force of nature so when she “invited” it was generally accepted to be an order, she meant well of course.
Christmas Dinner was tolerable enough, the jollity was blissfully muted when they had their mouths full of my mums excellent cooking.
But then as soon as the last spoonful of Christmas Pud had been consumed it all ramped up again.
Mum organized the girls in the kitchen and Dad got everyone else clearing away in preparation for an afternoon of fun.
I retreated to the hall and got my coat on the last thing I needed was fun.
“Where are you going Nick?” mum asked
“I just need to walk my dinner off” I replied patting my stomach
She nodded her understanding and knew it was nothing to do with needing a constitutional.
“Do you want some company?” she asked
“No mum I’ll be fine, I won’t be long”
“You’ll need your hat and scarf” she insisted and draped a scarf around my neck and pulled my woolen hat on my head.
Then she put a hand on each cheek and kissed me like she did when I was a boy.
I smiled a weak smile.
"You’ll need gloves as well" she said “its bitter cold out there”
Her voice cracked and she walked quickly back into the kitchen.
I wished for her sake I could hide my sadness, it had almost been as difficult a year for her as it had for me.
"I'll be fine mum," I said to myself "I just need time”
I braced myself as I opened the front door and then walked outside and saw it was still snowing.
I reached the end of the path and turned back to look at the Waterfield house where I had spent such a happy childhood.
It was midafternoon and it was already getting dark so I decided to stick to the main road until my eyes became accustomed.
It was years since I had seen a white Christmas, it was a shame I wasn’t in a better frame of mind to enjoy it.
Even in the semi darkness there was clear evidence the village children had been out in force.
There was no sign of them as the light began to fail they were probably lured back indoors with mugs of hot chocolate by their concerned families.
As I made my way up the hill towards St Jane’s church the snow started to fall harder.
I looked at the houses as I passed them with coloured lights resplendent and wondered at what sadness lurked in their homes and then I chastised myself for my self-pity.
It was just that I had had such high hopes for that Christmas, it had held so much promise.
I’d started a new job the previous February, I am an engineer by profession.
And as every other new hire I got the first day office tour, on this occasion conducted by my new boss Gary Ash.
After shaking hands with an indeterminate number of employees I began to understand what the Queen had to contend with.
“This is the procurement department” Gary said and half a dozen heads turned around to greet us and one smartly dressed young woman stepped out of a corner office.
“Ah Gina” Gary called “This is Nick Waterfield the new head of Engineering”
Gina reached out her hand and I took it
“Gina Davies” she said and that was that, she had me hook line and sinker, we had our first date that Friday and we were married just after Easter.
It was a whirlwind romance and we had our whole lives ahead of us and we made plans upon plans.
Of course what we never planned for was a drunk driver to cross the central reservation and hit her head on as she drove home the day before Halloween.
I should have been with her, we always drove home together but at the last minute I had to go to Aberdeen so she died alone.
I wished I’d been in the car with her, I wished I’d died with her then I wouldn’t have felt so shit.
(Part Two)
The snow was falling fast and the wind was blowing it straight at me so discretion being the better part of valor, I decided to take refuge in the Church of Saint Jane Frances de Chantal.
I hadn’t set foot in a church since the funeral, God and I had not been on speaking terms since he took Gina.
I didn’t plan to go in I just intended taking shelter in the porch until the snow eased off a bit, but the door suddenly opened.
"What on earth are you doing out here?" said a voice behind me
I turned around to see it was Charli Newcombe.
They had gone to school together and had even dated briefly on two separate occasions.
Once when they were still at school and again when he returned from university.
But it never seemed to happen for them.
“Hey Charli” he said "I was just out for a walk."
“In this?” she said
"So what are you really doing out here?"
“Trivial Pursuits” I replied
“What?”
“The family are all playing Trivial Pursuits, I didn’t really fancy it”
“I see”
"Anyway it’s Christmas Day” I retorted “Shouldn't you be at home watching The Sound of Music?”
"You’d think so wouldn’t you, My folks are both asleep in front of the TV and I had sole control of the remote, and I suddenly got the notion I should come and get the church ready for tomorrows service” even she seemed surprised by her answer.
Apart from running the general store and post office Charli was also the church warden.
Her late husband Tony had been the Vicar.
Charli was the same age as me give or take a month or two, I was thirty and she was a month short of that milestone.
And like me she was born and bred in the village.
She had married Tony shortly after he got the job as Vicar he was quite a few years older than her but she loved him to distraction, and you can’t argue with love.
She was devastated when he had a heart attack in the church and died.
That was shortly after he had performed the wedding ceremony for Gina and I.
I had seen a lot of her since I came back to stay with my parents in the village.
I suppose I sought her out because of our history together and I knew she would understand how it felt to lose someone.
And maybe help me come to terms with the grief.
We had talked it through endlessly and had burnt the midnight oil many times.
And some of the old feelings I had for her had come to the surface, for which I felt immensely guilty and disloyal to Gina’s memory.
“You look like you could do with a hot drink," she said opening the door
"No I won’t come in thanks" I said
"It’s Christmas, you could call a truce for the sake of the day at least”
"Ok" I relented and hesitantly followed her into the church.
The most overwhelming feeling washed over me.
It was one of great happiness as I remembered that wonderful day when Gina and I were married.
I would have expected to feel sorrow at the memory but it was pure joy I felt and immense pride.
I took off my hat, scarf and gloves and I know it will sound silly but the moment I crossed the threshold into the sanctuary of the church I’d felt a weight lift from me.
Charli had gone into a side room and switched on the light but I found I was walking down the aisle towards the altar where I paused briefly before an effigy of the saint and then sat down on the front pew.
(Part Three)
When I got up from the front pew I found all the anger and resentment had washed away I felt more positive than I had in weeks and I felt I could even look forward.
I stood up and smiled at St Jane and went in search of the drink I was offered.
I found Charli in the little kitchen sat at a small table and she looked up at me and smiled and as I walked in I returned her smile.
"Is this mine?" I asked pointing at a mug by the kettle
"Yes" she replied "but I’ll make you a fresh one”
“No this will be fine” I said and took a sip “Urgh”
“I told you” Charli said laughing
“How long was I sitting out there?” I asked her
She checked her watch
“About forty minutes”
“I’m sorry” I said “it only seemed like two or three”
“So how do you feel?” she enquired
“Surprisingly good” I replied and sat down “St Jane was very helpful”
“Yes she is isn’t she” Charli said as she re-boiled the kettle
“I’m still angry that I didn’t get to say goodbye to her” I admitted
“I know that feeling” Charli retorted
“We had such a short time together, we should have had decades, and instead we only had months”
And then I surprised myself when I smiled at her and added
“But those months were so special and so filled with joy that the time we had together was priceless”
“Amen to that” Charli said
“Which is precisely what you’ve been telling me all these weeks” I confessed
“Uh huh” she responded and we sat and drank our coffee in a comfortable silence.
Charli’s flicked her eyes upwards and caused me to do the same and I saw the mistletoe hanging above the table then she leant across the table and kissed me.
After the kiss it was me who broke the silence
"So do you have someone special in your life?”
"Do you mean a boyfriend?” she replied
"Yes" I said
"I was kind of hoping you might want the job” Charli said
“I think I would” I said and reached across the table and took hold of her hand.
“If you’ll have me”
She leant across the table and kissed me again this time it was a long lingering sensual kiss.
“Are we allowed to do that in church?” I asked
“Only on Christmas Day” she replied and kissed me again.
She locked up the Church and we stepped out from the shelter of the porch and the snow had abated but it was still falling and I smiled as it accumulated on top of her hat.
I offered her my hand which she accepted gladly and then I walked her home hand in hand through the snow.
Her parents’ house was only two doors down from mine so walking her home wasn’t out of the way not that it would have made any difference if she had lived on the other side of the village.
We stopped by the front gate and stood facing each other and I leant in and kissed her, her response was immediate and yielding.
It was a long purposeful kiss full of tenderness and hope for the future.
When I reluctantly broke away I said
“I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
“Yes” Charli replied and went up the path, pausing at the door to turn and wave before she went inside.
“Are you alright dear?” Mum asked with concern
“Yes” I said and smiled “I rather think I am”
And the effect on her was instant as the worry and anxiety melted away and she looked five years younger in an instant.
“I’m so glad” she said and rushed forward to hug me.
I have to admit I have given a good deal of reflective thought about exactly what happened that snowy Christmas Day afternoon.
Was it coincidence that I chose to walk in the direction of St Jane’s Church, or that I needed to take shelter precisely as I passed its sanctuary, or that Charli would open the door to leave just as I stood sheltering beneath the porch?
And what possessed her to leave the warmth and comfort of her parent’s cozy fireside on Christmas Day to tidy a cold and draughty Church.
I know what I believe and as to what transpired between me and the Saint as I sat on that Church pew is between me, St Jane and God.
Those Memories Made on Teardrop Lake – (24) The Christian Lady and the Pagans
(Part 01)
It was in the middle of the 7th Century when 17 year old Olwen, the youngest daughter of King Osric, was pledged in marriage to young King Ryce of West Untenena.
King Osric’s tribe was in the east bordering Cantwarena and the marriage was designed to affect a treaty between the two tribes and preserve the peace by forming a mutually beneficial alliance against West Sexena.
Osric’s tribe in East Untenena were Christina converts and because of her faith, Olwen only agreed to the union if she could be married at St Augustine’s Church in the place of her birth.
The citizens of East Untenena were very pleased with the union as they hoped it would lead to a lasting peace.
Olwen was very popular among her people and the wedding was the cause of much celebration with seven days of feasting.
It was a joyous occasion and when it ended Olwen and her new husband then travelled under heavy escort to her new home.
Soldiers of both East and West Untenena made up the escort as an act of solidarity.
Olwen was also accompanied by her maids Esme and Elwin, and by her priest Father Audley.
Her new home was the great hall of King Ryce which stood in a settlement at the head of the Lake Tåre Drape on the edge of the great forest.
Although the marriage was forced upon her she was not disappointed with the union, Olwen liked Ryce and in time she grew to love him very deeply.
And she also grew to love her new home very much.
But she came from a Christian realm and she had married into a pagan one.
Though Ryce was prepared to adopt the new faith his subjects and more importantly, his chieftains, were not.
Although most of his subjects took to the new Queen and loved her almost as much as her own people did.
Though not all of them, in fact two of them were openly hostile to her and a third, Holt had threatened to kill any Christians who dared practice in his lands.
For the first year Olwen was content to have Father Audley attend to hers and her maid’s spiritual needs in her private chambers but she was not prepared to deny herself a place of worship forever.
So at the beginning of her 19th year she broached the subject with Ryce when he asked her if she was happy in his kingdom she replied rather unconvincingly
“Yes”
“You are unhappy?” Ryce asked
“No I’m not unhappy” she replied “but...”
“You still miss your home” he said
“A little yes” she admitted
“But really I miss my Church”
“I see” he responded “the one thing you miss is the one thing I cannot give you”
“Not even a small Chapel for us?” she asked in her most feminine voice.
“I can’t grant you that” Ryce said
“It’s doesn’t have to be grand or ornate”
She pleaded
“If I was to openly build a Church in this settlement it would give Holt the excuse he needs to move against me” He said and Olwen was crestfallen.
“I’m sorry” he said
“What if we built one in secret?” she asked
“Where?” he asked
“In the forest” she said
The King was very thoughtful for a few minutes and then he said
“I will give it some further thought”
Then he took his leave.
Olwen took that to mean no, but she left it at that for now, she didn’t want to back him into a corner.
But that didn’t mean she would give up.
After several days Ryce gave Olwen his decision as they lay in his bed.
“You may have your secret Chapel” he said
“Thank you my King” she said excitedly
“But it must remain secret” he reiterated
“If Holt or his kinsmen find out, there will be open revolt”
“Yes my Lord”
“No materials or craftsman from my realm can be used”
“I understand” Olwen said
(Part 02)
There was a regular caravan that travelled between East and West Untenena so over the following 18 months Stone was brought in secret from Thanet Island in small quantities and an Alta stone was transported from Lindisfarne via a circuitous route.
Firstly a large area of forest was cleared and building began on a small timber Chapel to Olwen’s specific design.
The Thanet stones were placed around the outline of the building in the traditional cruciform shape and some locally acquired flag stones formed the floor and the Lindisfarne Alta stone was given pride of place.
The Chapel walls and roof were made of Dancingdean timber and only a small number of trusted woodsman knew what was being built in the woods.
There was also a large baptismal bowl set into the floor of one side of the transept where Olwen’s husband Ryce and their children were baptized.
Its Water was drawn from a natural spring besides the Chapel clearing which the faithful claimed only sprang forth when the church was completed.
The first service was held on Olwen’s 22nd birthday and monthly thereafter so as not to draw attention.
This went on regularly for four years without incident until one spring when her brother Hugh and his wife Henrietta were visiting with her for Olwen’s confinement.
She was six months pregnant with her third child and she was praying this one was a boy.
So she made more regular visits to the Chapel so she could pray to God to grant her wish.
It was on a bright spring day when Father Audley led Olwen, Ryce and their daughters, Lucetta and Annis, and her brother and his wife along the hidden path to the Chapel.
But as the priest stepped into the sunlight Ryce was struck on the side of the head with a sword hilt and fell to the ground.
“You will die for this Holt”
Olwen screamed as she saw the face of her husband’s assailant.
“I think not” Holt said as he brandished his sword “You will all die here today at your holy place”
And his kinsman Irwin drew his sword at the same moment.
Thankfully Godwin the woodsman who had been instrumental in the Chapel’s construction was already inside when the attack began and without thinking he took up his axe and charged out and cleaved Irwin’s head in two.
As Irwin fell down dead it distracted Holt long enough for Hugh to burst out of the trees and thrust his sword through Holt’s throat, and he turned to look at Hugh with a look of surprise and then dropped his sword.
“God has spoken” Olwen said and he fell dead to the ground.
It was all over in a trice, fortunately Henrietta had taken the young girls away at the first sign of trouble, so were spared the bloodshed.
Ryce was helped to his feet as Father Audley gave the dead men the last rites and Hugh and Godwin went in search of the chieftain’s horses.
The bodies of Holt and Irwin were draped across their horses and then Godwin led them into the deep wood and the bodies were never seen again.
With the resistance to the new faith gone the following year work began on a new Church adjacent to the great hall.
There were mutterings from those close to Holt about what had become of him and his kinsman but they were silenced when rumours spread that the one true God must have smite them down.
The Chapel fell into disuse after the new Church was built though Olwen would visit it from time to time but no one went there after she and Ryce had died.
And ten years into her son Hugh’s reign a war began with West Sexena and Hugh had to abandon the Great Hall and the Church which were then destroyed.
By the time West Sexena were defeated and driven out 20 years later by Olwen’s grandson Edric all memory of her Chapel had faded and was all but forgotten until early in Queen Victoria’s reign.
It was in the middle of the 7th Century when 17 year old Olwen, the youngest daughter of King Osric, was pledged in marriage to young King Ryce of West Untenena.
King Osric’s tribe was in the east bordering Cantwarena and the marriage was designed to affect a treaty between the two tribes and preserve the peace by forming a mutually beneficial alliance against West Sexena.
Osric’s tribe in East Untenena were Christina converts and because of her faith, Olwen only agreed to the union if she could be married at St Augustine’s Church in the place of her birth.
The citizens of East Untenena were very pleased with the union as they hoped it would lead to a lasting peace.
Olwen was very popular among her people and the wedding was the cause of much celebration with seven days of feasting.
It was a joyous occasion and when it ended Olwen and her new husband then travelled under heavy escort to her new home.
Soldiers of both East and West Untenena made up the escort as an act of solidarity.
Olwen was also accompanied by her maids Esme and Elwin, and by her priest Father Audley.
Her new home was the great hall of King Ryce which stood in a settlement at the head of the Lake Tåre Drape on the edge of the great forest.
Although the marriage was forced upon her she was not disappointed with the union, Olwen liked Ryce and in time she grew to love him very deeply.
And she also grew to love her new home very much.
But she came from a Christian realm and she had married into a pagan one.
Though Ryce was prepared to adopt the new faith his subjects and more importantly, his chieftains, were not.
Although most of his subjects took to the new Queen and loved her almost as much as her own people did.
Though not all of them, in fact two of them were openly hostile to her and a third, Holt had threatened to kill any Christians who dared practice in his lands.
For the first year Olwen was content to have Father Audley attend to hers and her maid’s spiritual needs in her private chambers but she was not prepared to deny herself a place of worship forever.
So at the beginning of her 19th year she broached the subject with Ryce when he asked her if she was happy in his kingdom she replied rather unconvincingly
“Yes”
“You are unhappy?” Ryce asked
“No I’m not unhappy” she replied “but...”
“You still miss your home” he said
“A little yes” she admitted
“But really I miss my Church”
“I see” he responded “the one thing you miss is the one thing I cannot give you”
“Not even a small Chapel for us?” she asked in her most feminine voice.
“I can’t grant you that” Ryce said
“It’s doesn’t have to be grand or ornate”
She pleaded
“If I was to openly build a Church in this settlement it would give Holt the excuse he needs to move against me” He said and Olwen was crestfallen.
“I’m sorry” he said
“What if we built one in secret?” she asked
“Where?” he asked
“In the forest” she said
The King was very thoughtful for a few minutes and then he said
“I will give it some further thought”
Then he took his leave.
Olwen took that to mean no, but she left it at that for now, she didn’t want to back him into a corner.
But that didn’t mean she would give up.
After several days Ryce gave Olwen his decision as they lay in his bed.
“You may have your secret Chapel” he said
“Thank you my King” she said excitedly
“But it must remain secret” he reiterated
“If Holt or his kinsmen find out, there will be open revolt”
“Yes my Lord”
“No materials or craftsman from my realm can be used”
“I understand” Olwen said
(Part 02)
There was a regular caravan that travelled between East and West Untenena so over the following 18 months Stone was brought in secret from Thanet Island in small quantities and an Alta stone was transported from Lindisfarne via a circuitous route.
Firstly a large area of forest was cleared and building began on a small timber Chapel to Olwen’s specific design.
The Thanet stones were placed around the outline of the building in the traditional cruciform shape and some locally acquired flag stones formed the floor and the Lindisfarne Alta stone was given pride of place.
The Chapel walls and roof were made of Dancingdean timber and only a small number of trusted woodsman knew what was being built in the woods.
There was also a large baptismal bowl set into the floor of one side of the transept where Olwen’s husband Ryce and their children were baptized.
Its Water was drawn from a natural spring besides the Chapel clearing which the faithful claimed only sprang forth when the church was completed.
The first service was held on Olwen’s 22nd birthday and monthly thereafter so as not to draw attention.
This went on regularly for four years without incident until one spring when her brother Hugh and his wife Henrietta were visiting with her for Olwen’s confinement.
She was six months pregnant with her third child and she was praying this one was a boy.
So she made more regular visits to the Chapel so she could pray to God to grant her wish.
It was on a bright spring day when Father Audley led Olwen, Ryce and their daughters, Lucetta and Annis, and her brother and his wife along the hidden path to the Chapel.
But as the priest stepped into the sunlight Ryce was struck on the side of the head with a sword hilt and fell to the ground.
“You will die for this Holt”
Olwen screamed as she saw the face of her husband’s assailant.
“I think not” Holt said as he brandished his sword “You will all die here today at your holy place”
And his kinsman Irwin drew his sword at the same moment.
Thankfully Godwin the woodsman who had been instrumental in the Chapel’s construction was already inside when the attack began and without thinking he took up his axe and charged out and cleaved Irwin’s head in two.
As Irwin fell down dead it distracted Holt long enough for Hugh to burst out of the trees and thrust his sword through Holt’s throat, and he turned to look at Hugh with a look of surprise and then dropped his sword.
“God has spoken” Olwen said and he fell dead to the ground.
It was all over in a trice, fortunately Henrietta had taken the young girls away at the first sign of trouble, so were spared the bloodshed.
Ryce was helped to his feet as Father Audley gave the dead men the last rites and Hugh and Godwin went in search of the chieftain’s horses.
The bodies of Holt and Irwin were draped across their horses and then Godwin led them into the deep wood and the bodies were never seen again.
With the resistance to the new faith gone the following year work began on a new Church adjacent to the great hall.
There were mutterings from those close to Holt about what had become of him and his kinsman but they were silenced when rumours spread that the one true God must have smite them down.
The Chapel fell into disuse after the new Church was built though Olwen would visit it from time to time but no one went there after she and Ryce had died.
And ten years into her son Hugh’s reign a war began with West Sexena and Hugh had to abandon the Great Hall and the Church which were then destroyed.
By the time West Sexena were defeated and driven out 20 years later by Olwen’s grandson Edric all memory of her Chapel had faded and was all but forgotten until early in Queen Victoria’s reign.
Friday, 27 January 2017
The Girl in the Lavender Dress
Amanda Campbell was a statuesque young woman of twenty something, she was tall and straight backed, which in itself was quite an achievement to stand upright when you considered the size of her breasts which were enormous, huge in fact.
They were so large that short people could have sheltered under them when it rained.
And as if her round globular mammary’s didn’t attract enough attention in their own right they were surmounted by very large nipples in an almost perpetual state of arousal, which was why she was known around the office as “Miss pencil rubbers”.
But despite her particular attributes that would normally stir the blood of any self-respecting red bloodied man she was not given a second look in that regard.
She wore horn rimmed glasses and her red hair was scraped back severely from her face, which itself bore no makeup.
Her clothing was of good quality, though lacking in style, and her footwear was functional rather than aesthetic and she exuded a mannish air.
So Ian Palmer thought on the whole that Amanda Campbell, the office manager, was quite sexless.
Nor was she a very popular figure in the workplace, although she was very efficient, she had no one she could call friend among her colleagues, and to say the least Amanda was aloof.
So it was with some surprise that Ian Palmer found himself one day casting his eye over her in a lascivious manner.
Ian Palmer was an accountant, fast approaching his thirtieth birthday and was a confirmed Batchelor.
He was not by any definition, a ladies man, but had not been completely unsuccessful in the pursuit of women, despite his Batchelor status.
He had no particular “type” when it came to women, he was not so successful with the opposite sex that he could afford to discard possible companions based on something as superficial as hair colour, body shape or breast size.
But not by any criteria imaginable did he ever think that the sight of Amanda Campbell would cause a stirring in his loins.
She was no longer wearing glasses and her red hair was no longer swept back off her face but hung in soft curls with a delicate fascinator balanced on her head and above her ear was a small floral arrangement.
When he first saw her standing there he did a double take, and stared quite hard until he was convinced it was her.
Instead of her drab office clothes she was wearing a lavender dress which showed a shape he had never noticed before, he knew obviously she had a massive breasts, it was impossible for her to conceal such wonders, which were now more exquisitely defined in the bodice of her bridesmaids dress.
Which was open at the back and plunging at the front, the result of which was that he spent more time than was strictly necessary just staring at her bust confused as to what exactly was holding them up.
He hadn’t noticed it was her in the church, well he’d noticed her, and he always gave the female guests, bridesmaids and even the bride a full appraisal.
Although he didn’t appraise the bride on this occasion as it was his sister Jane.
It was outside in the June sunshine as he waited for the photographer to complete his play book that he spotted her while he was indulging in another spot of appraisal.
She now wore makeup on her face and something he had never seen before, a smile, and the addition of that smile made her pretty.
Amanda suddenly became aware Ian was watching her and as their eyes briefly met she blushed.
Then she steeled herself, took a deep breath and walked gracefully towards him, not on her usual functional items of footwear but on stylish stiletto heeled shoes.
“Hello Ian” she said avoiding eye contact
“Wow Amanda” he said “you look stunning”
“Thank you” she said and blushed again
Just then the photographer started barking orders again and she said
“Here we go again”
It was another ten minutes before they resumed their conversation
“So you’re related to the groom?” Ian asked
“Yes” she replied “He’s my cousin Sean”
“Well your cousin has just married my sister” Ian said
“I know” she confessed
“So you knew Jane was my sister, before today?” He asked
Amanda nodded
“And that we’d both be at the wedding?” he asked
“Yes” Amanda said
“Why didn’t you say something at the office?” Ian asked
“Because at work I’m “Miss Pencil Rubbers” and not the girl in the lavender dress” she said
As they walked into the hotel for the wedding breakfast he felt rather shamefaced.
Amanda was perfectly correct he wouldn’t have paid her any attention in the office or welcomed any approach from her.
As luck would have it, or so he thought, he was not only on the same table as Amanda but was seated next to her.
One course followed another as did the glasses of wine and as the deserts were arriving Ian asked
“So how come there are two totally different Amanda’s?”
“Well I’m quite shy” she confessed “and I don’t make friends easily”
“But today you’re bubbly and confident” he said
“That’s because I know everyone and they know me, the real me, I don’t have to pretend and I don’t have to hide” Amanda said
“So why do you hide?” Ian asked
“It started when I got promoted” She said “and I did it in the beginning so people would take me seriously”
“But it didn’t work” Ian said
“No, they ended up hating me” she admitted “then it was difficult to undo what I’d done without looking silly”
“Oh I see” he said
“It has its compensations” she said “at least I’m not a target for unwanted sexual advances in the workplace”
The speeches followed and more wine, then champagne and then the free bar.
So it was with a light head and a lascivious eye that Ian was led onto the dance floor by the statuesque vision in lavender that was Amanda Campbell.
And then she held him to her and they danced.
They danced three slow dances together and when the tempo of the fourth indicated it was not another one.
Amanda steered Ian towards the terrace, fresh air and moonlight.
“You know I think you should show everyone at work the real you” he said
“Because I’m sure they’ll like you as much as I do”
“I’m not interested in what they think” Amanda said standing very close to him
“I only care what one of them thinks”
Ian was staring at Amanda’s bosom illuminated by the moon as he said
“It was very fortunate we ended up on the same table”
“Sean and Jane intended that we should be sat together so they engineered the whole thing” Amanda confessed
“Why would they do that?” Ian asked
“Because I asked them too” she confessed after all she couldn’t rely on his drooling over her in the gardens to do the job.
“Why?...” he began and then as they stood together on the terrace in the moonlight she kissed him
Ian came up for air and asked
“So if your cousin is married to my sister, does that make us related?”
“No” she replied
“Good” he said and kissed her again
They were so large that short people could have sheltered under them when it rained.
And as if her round globular mammary’s didn’t attract enough attention in their own right they were surmounted by very large nipples in an almost perpetual state of arousal, which was why she was known around the office as “Miss pencil rubbers”.
But despite her particular attributes that would normally stir the blood of any self-respecting red bloodied man she was not given a second look in that regard.
She wore horn rimmed glasses and her red hair was scraped back severely from her face, which itself bore no makeup.
Her clothing was of good quality, though lacking in style, and her footwear was functional rather than aesthetic and she exuded a mannish air.
So Ian Palmer thought on the whole that Amanda Campbell, the office manager, was quite sexless.
Nor was she a very popular figure in the workplace, although she was very efficient, she had no one she could call friend among her colleagues, and to say the least Amanda was aloof.
So it was with some surprise that Ian Palmer found himself one day casting his eye over her in a lascivious manner.
Ian Palmer was an accountant, fast approaching his thirtieth birthday and was a confirmed Batchelor.
He was not by any definition, a ladies man, but had not been completely unsuccessful in the pursuit of women, despite his Batchelor status.
He had no particular “type” when it came to women, he was not so successful with the opposite sex that he could afford to discard possible companions based on something as superficial as hair colour, body shape or breast size.
But not by any criteria imaginable did he ever think that the sight of Amanda Campbell would cause a stirring in his loins.
She was no longer wearing glasses and her red hair was no longer swept back off her face but hung in soft curls with a delicate fascinator balanced on her head and above her ear was a small floral arrangement.
When he first saw her standing there he did a double take, and stared quite hard until he was convinced it was her.
Instead of her drab office clothes she was wearing a lavender dress which showed a shape he had never noticed before, he knew obviously she had a massive breasts, it was impossible for her to conceal such wonders, which were now more exquisitely defined in the bodice of her bridesmaids dress.
Which was open at the back and plunging at the front, the result of which was that he spent more time than was strictly necessary just staring at her bust confused as to what exactly was holding them up.
He hadn’t noticed it was her in the church, well he’d noticed her, and he always gave the female guests, bridesmaids and even the bride a full appraisal.
Although he didn’t appraise the bride on this occasion as it was his sister Jane.
It was outside in the June sunshine as he waited for the photographer to complete his play book that he spotted her while he was indulging in another spot of appraisal.
She now wore makeup on her face and something he had never seen before, a smile, and the addition of that smile made her pretty.
Amanda suddenly became aware Ian was watching her and as their eyes briefly met she blushed.
Then she steeled herself, took a deep breath and walked gracefully towards him, not on her usual functional items of footwear but on stylish stiletto heeled shoes.
“Hello Ian” she said avoiding eye contact
“Wow Amanda” he said “you look stunning”
“Thank you” she said and blushed again
Just then the photographer started barking orders again and she said
“Here we go again”
It was another ten minutes before they resumed their conversation
“So you’re related to the groom?” Ian asked
“Yes” she replied “He’s my cousin Sean”
“Well your cousin has just married my sister” Ian said
“I know” she confessed
“So you knew Jane was my sister, before today?” He asked
Amanda nodded
“And that we’d both be at the wedding?” he asked
“Yes” Amanda said
“Why didn’t you say something at the office?” Ian asked
“Because at work I’m “Miss Pencil Rubbers” and not the girl in the lavender dress” she said
As they walked into the hotel for the wedding breakfast he felt rather shamefaced.
Amanda was perfectly correct he wouldn’t have paid her any attention in the office or welcomed any approach from her.
As luck would have it, or so he thought, he was not only on the same table as Amanda but was seated next to her.
One course followed another as did the glasses of wine and as the deserts were arriving Ian asked
“So how come there are two totally different Amanda’s?”
“Well I’m quite shy” she confessed “and I don’t make friends easily”
“But today you’re bubbly and confident” he said
“That’s because I know everyone and they know me, the real me, I don’t have to pretend and I don’t have to hide” Amanda said
“So why do you hide?” Ian asked
“It started when I got promoted” She said “and I did it in the beginning so people would take me seriously”
“But it didn’t work” Ian said
“No, they ended up hating me” she admitted “then it was difficult to undo what I’d done without looking silly”
“Oh I see” he said
“It has its compensations” she said “at least I’m not a target for unwanted sexual advances in the workplace”
The speeches followed and more wine, then champagne and then the free bar.
So it was with a light head and a lascivious eye that Ian was led onto the dance floor by the statuesque vision in lavender that was Amanda Campbell.
And then she held him to her and they danced.
They danced three slow dances together and when the tempo of the fourth indicated it was not another one.
Amanda steered Ian towards the terrace, fresh air and moonlight.
“You know I think you should show everyone at work the real you” he said
“Because I’m sure they’ll like you as much as I do”
“I’m not interested in what they think” Amanda said standing very close to him
“I only care what one of them thinks”
Ian was staring at Amanda’s bosom illuminated by the moon as he said
“It was very fortunate we ended up on the same table”
“Sean and Jane intended that we should be sat together so they engineered the whole thing” Amanda confessed
“Why would they do that?” Ian asked
“Because I asked them too” she confessed after all she couldn’t rely on his drooling over her in the gardens to do the job.
“Why?...” he began and then as they stood together on the terrace in the moonlight she kissed him
Ian came up for air and asked
“So if your cousin is married to my sister, does that make us related?”
“No” she replied
“Good” he said and kissed her again
Serendipity
(Part One)
I drove into the small staff car park and saw there was one empty space left so I headed for that.
I parked the car and was just reaching into the foot well to retrieve my book that had fallen off the seat.
I could see in my peripheral vision someone heading in my direction, he was a small smartly dressed man, casual smart rather than business smart.
When he reached the car he thrust his head through the open window and said abruptly.
“Can I help?” in a very aggressively unhelpful tone.
“No, you’re ok” I replied as I returned to the upright position
“Which company do you work for?” he demanded
“What in this complex?” I asked
“Yes” he barked
“I don’t work for any of them” I replied
“Well you’re on private property” he said
“Yes I understand that” I agreed
“Then you can’t park here” he said still in an aggressive tone
“I don’t work here, but my wife does and I’m picking her up” I explained
“Well there’s no need to be aggressive” he said
“I’m not being aggressive I’m just being honest, you’re the one who’s being aggressive getting in my face and throwing your weight about” I said
“You’re being aggressive” he repeated
“Look, my wife works here and I’m picking her up, end of story” I said dismissively and opened my book and turned my full attention to it as he walked off muttering something northern.
“Unbelievable” I think he said but I couldn’t make out anything else, he was very northern.
Of course when I said I was picking up my wife that wasn’t strictly true, Elaine was my ex-wife but he didn’t need to know that.
Elaine and I had divorced the year before but it was a completely amicable split
After eight years of marriage we both realised it wasn’t really working.
In fact we carried on living under the same roof for nine months until we sold the house and it wasn’t really very different to when we were married, and it really should have been if we belonged together as a couple.
So we knew we had made the right decision.
But we were still very good friends which was why I was still picking her up from work.
A few minutes after the pompous northern git went away muttering Elaine arrived down the steps behind me.
I didn’t relay the tale to her other than to say I had been quizzed about parking there.
And that would probably have been the end of it had it not been for the fact that the ridiculous little man, who it transpired was the de facto landlord, had made a complaint to the Facilities Manager, of the company my wife worked for.
It was very embarrassing for Elaine when she was summoned before Suzy Ford, the Facilities Manager, to be told that her husband had verbally abused the landlord, or at least his representative.
“Ex-husband” she interjected
“What?” Ms Ford retorted
“He’s my ex-husband” Elaine explained
“But he still picks you up from work?” Suzy queried
“Yes” she replied
“Is he still carrying a torch?” The FM asked
“No” Elaine replied “he’s just a good man”
“I wish mine was” Suzy confided “the bastard”
“Ah” Elaine responded
“Anyway Mr Connolly has alleged your ex-husband was aggressive and abusive” Suzy continued “Shouting and swearing at him”
“Nonsense” Elaine said
“Excuse me?” replied the FM
“Dave has never raised his voice in anger to anyone in his life, and as for swearing that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard”
After the meeting Elaine phoned me and she was not happy.
She told me that Ian Connolly had accused me of shouting at him and swearing at him and I was banned from picking her up in that car park in future.
To say I was incandescent with rage when I found out would have been an understatement.
“I promise you that not once did I swear at him or even raise my voice.
I may not have paid him the due deference that he was expecting but that was all. In fact if anything he was the aggressor”
“It’s alright I’m not mad at you, but I had to find out your side of the story”
When she relayed my version of events to Ms Ford, the FM said
“I have heard that about him from other sources, but unfortunately we have to obey the landlord’s instructions”
I didn’t mind not being able to pick her up there that was a minor inconvenience however lying was something I could not abide.
(Part Two)
The road I now had to pick Elaine up in was in fact better for her than the car park, as it was nearer the entrance she used to come out of in the evening.
One evening, about a week and a half after I started parking in Church Hill road I was sitting in the car when a little blue Renault Clio began reversing into the space behind me and hit my car, well nudged it really.
But the girl driving immediately jumped out and ran around to my side of the car and was absolutely horrified at what she had done.
Not that I thought she had really done anything.
But at her urging I got out of the car for an inspection.
She had jet black curly hair and was mid to late twenties, attractive if not beautiful and was wearing a tailored business suit.
Also I noticed she had nice legs and was very curvy, I like curvy, but that wasn’t what I was meant to inspect.
I looked at both bumpers and save for a scuff there was no damage.
“I’m so sorry” she said very flustered
“There’s no harm done” I replied
“Let me give you my details” She said reaching over from the driver’s side and rummaging in the glove box.
“There really is no need” I said admiring the roundness of her buttocks as her movement tightened the fabric of her skirt
She began scribbling something and then said
“Here you are” as she gave me a business card with her insurance details written on the back
“There’s no damage” I said “Honestly”
“We have to do things properly” she insisted
“Do you have many accidents?” I asked already knowing the answer
“No” She said “This is my first”
“I thought so” I said “and actually this doesn’t really count so you still have a perfect record”
She seemed to calm down once I had accepted her details and then she completed her manoeuvre, locked the car and walked off down the road managing to apologize once more before she walked off.
And what a walk it was, just as I was getting an eyeful my mobile rang, it was Elaine
“Hi” I said
“Hey Dave” she replied “I’m running late”
“No problem” I responded “how long?”
“About an hour” she replied “But you don’t need to wait, I’ll get a cab”
“No problem, I’ve got no plans” I said “I’ll meet you in the Choristers Arms”
“Brilliant” she said “You’re a star”
I got myself a drink and sat in a relatively quiet corner and then opened my book and I had only read about four pages when I heard
“Oh hello again”
I looked up and saw it was my assailant,
“Hello Laura” I said
“I just wanted to apologize again” she said
“No need” I replied “but you can buy me a drink”
Which really meant please stay and have a drink with me
“It’s a deal” she said “and I’ll join you if that’s ok, as long as I’m not imposing?”
“Not at all” I said
As she turned and walked to the bar I had another opportunity to admire her generous curvy form with her buttocks rolling and reshaping within her skirt with every step.
“Very nice” I said under my breath
I watched and admired all the while she was at the bar and when she had got the drinks I watched her again as she walked back towards me and I was mesmerised by what I saw.
When she got to the table she leant forward and put a drink in front of me although I only had eyes for the front of her.
She caught me looking and smiled and then sat down.
“Are you meeting someone?” she asked
“Yes I’m waiting for my ex-wife” I replied
She looked confused
So I explained at length the arrangement Elaine and I had and Laura looked less confused.
“What about you?” I asked
“Well I was supposed to be meeting my sister but she’s still at Waterloo” Laura said
“So you are doing me a favour keeping me company until her train gets in”
“I feel so used” I said feigning hurt
“Very funny” she said
“So what were your plans with your sister?” I asked
“Pictures” Laura replied
“Oh yes” I said “Bruce Willis or Keira Knightley?”
“Knightley, I’m afraid” she replied “Helen’s choice”
“Well I fancy the other one myself” I said “Perhaps…”
“I’d love to” she interrupted
“Great” I said “It’s only on until Saturday”
“Saturday it is then” she said just as her phone rang.
She stood up to answer it and stepped outside to get better reception.
“That was my sister” she said when she came back “I have to go”
“Well I’ll see you Saturday then, shall we meet here?” I said
“Yes” she said “7.30”
“Ok” I replied
“Thanks again for being so understanding” Laura said
“Wait a minute is that how you get all your dates?” I asked
“Pretty much” Laura replied “Bye”
Then I feasted my eyes on her again as she walked away.
“Who was that?” Elaine said
“Just someone I bumped into” I replied
“It looks as though you wouldn’t mind bumping into her again” she said
“Funny you should say that, I’m seeing her on Saturday” I said proudly
“Good for you” Elaine said and meant it
“I’m sorry I’m so late, it’s been a pig of a day”
“That’s ok” I assured her “Do you fancy a drink?”
“Oh yes please” she said “as long as I’m not holding you up”
“I wouldn’t have offered if it was a problem” I insisted “as I said I don’t have any plans tonight”
I went and got her a large white wine and myself a coke and returned to the table
“What about you?” I asked
“What?” she said
“Plans for tonight” I explained
“No nothing” she said
“Why don’t we eat then” I suggested “the foods pretty good in here”
“That would be really nice, Dave”
So we ordered from the bar and spent a couple of hours on a proper catch up.
When we split up even though it was amicable and we remained friends ourselves, some of our friends felt it there duty to take sides.
So it was about the people we as the enemy had lost touch with that filled most of the conversation, then we moved on to more personal stuff.
Elaine had been reluctant to tell me but she had been seeing someone for a couple of months, his name was Peter and she met him at work.
“That’s brilliant Elaine, I’m really pleased for you” I said “but why didn’t you tell me before?”
“I don’t know really” she said “it seemed a bit insensitive”
“Well for future reference you can tell me anything” I said
“But you haven’t told me” she said in her defence
“There hasn’t been anything to tell” I said “I’ve been on a couple of disastrous blind dates and that’s all”
“Until today” she added
“Yes until today” I concurred and smiled
I dropped her off about 9.30
“Thanks Dave” Elaine said “Enjoy your date on Saturday”
“I will” I replied and drove the short distance home.
(Part Three)
On Saturday I sat at the same table I had occupied a few days earlier which gave me a good view of the door.
But I still missed her when she came in, I had been watching out for a hot girl in a business suit and black tights.
“Are you looking for me?” a voice said and when I looked up it was Laura.
“Oh hi” I said “I didn’t recognise you”
She was wearing tailored trousers a shimmering top and a short tunic.
“Wow you look great” I said
“Thank you” she said and actually blushed
I thought to myself then that Laura Grew was a keeper.
I suggested eating somewhere afterwards so we decided to catch the earlier performance so we didn’t have time for a drink.
I let Laura go through the door first, not because I’m a gentleman but rather because I wanted to see what her bum looked like in those trousers.
I was not disappointed.
The film was average, the meal was better but the company was sublime and as first dates go it was the best for me by far.
It ended with a goodnight kiss by her car and the securing of another date, the following Saturday.
I have always found that Second dates are always trickier, because there is an expectation which is not present on a first date and all week I was worried about it.
But when Saturday came all my fears and apprehensions melted away when I saw her.
By the end of the night I thought it had even surpassed our first date.
It again ended by her car, this time with a more prolonged kiss.
“Next Saturday?” I said hopefully
“Yes” she said coyly “if you can wait that long”
“And if I can’t?” I asked
“You can come to a BBQ with me tomorrow” she said
“You can pick me up” she said “I’ll text you my address”
I picked Laura up as instructed and on the journey she filled me in on the family politics of which there wasn’t much to report other than the fact her and her sister hated their stepfather Ian.
“He’s a pompous, obnoxious, unpleasant little man who isn’t even nice to mum” She ranted
The BBQ was to celebrate their mum’s birthday which was the only reason she and her sister were going.
Eleanor had only been married to Ian for two years but he had managed to alienate everyone who was important in Eleanor’s life and Laura and Helen were very unhappy about it.
But for their mums sake they always bit their tongues so as not to upset there mum.
That Sunday was no exception they wouldn’t do or say anything to spoil mums birthday.
I parked the car outside the house.
“Deep breath, big smile” she said and I gave her hand a squeeze.
“Give me a kiss for good luck” she said and I obliged
We were just about to go through the side gate when there was a call from behind.
“Wait for us”
I turned around and saw a carbon copy of Laura jogging towards us.
“Hey Helen” Laura said and they kissed and then introductions followed before we proceeded through the gate.
There were a small group of people milling about on the patio, another group on the lawn and a lone man attending to the BBQ.
While I was looking around there was some sudden squealing on the patio from which I deduced the sisters had located their mum.
Neither Helens boyfriend Ray nor I had met the family before so we hung back until the hullaballoo subsided.
When it had we were summoned by our respective girlfriends to be presented.
“I’m pleased to meet you” I said shaking Eleanor’s hand
“Likewise” she said “I’ve heard a lot about you”
“The sausages are ready?” the man called from the BBQ
“And that is my husband” Eleanor said and waved a despairing hand in his direction.
I turned around to say hello just as he did the same.
“Oh” I exclaimed “we’ve already met”
It was Ian Connolly the lying sack of shit who had accused me of swearing at him and my new girlfriend Laura Grew was the pompous gits step daughter.
“I suppose you’re going to verbally abuse me again” he said
“I didn’t verbally abuse you the last time” I replied
“What did you do?” Eleanor asked her husband
“Oh trust you to take their side” he said
“My apologies Eleanor but I think I need to go” I said
“That’s it run away” Ian called after me
“Oh do shut up Ian” Laura said
“As for you, how dare you turn up on your mother’s birthday with a married man you little Trollope” He said venomously
“That’s enough Ian” Eleanor said
“He’s not married you pompous arse” Laura shouted “he’s divorced”
“Oh really is that what he told you?” Ian said with distain
“Then answer me this, what kind of man still drives his ex-wife around?”
“A better man than you obviously” Laura said
“That’s enough you selfish little cow” he said “You’re ruining your mother’s birthday”
“No you’re ruining my birthday” Eleanor said
“What do you mean?” Ian snapped “I’m just trying to do something special for your birthday”
“The most special thing you could do for me would be to get out”
Eleanor said
“What?” he said aghast
“I want you to leave” she reiterated
“If I go then I won’t be coming back” he threatened
“Good” she said almost spitting the word at him
Ian went a very funny shade of purple and a vein in his temple started to throb, I thought his head might explode but it didn’t and he turned on his heels and went in the house.
Helen and Laura ran immediately to hug their mum and they stood in a scrum on the patio and there were a few tears.
They may have stayed there longer but the huddle broke when Ian came back out of the house carrying a small bag and his jacket, then without speaking he left through the side gate followed by a few of the guests, clearly more his friends than hers.
“Now the party can really start” Eleanor said
There was another brief hug fest from the Grew women and then Eleanor said
“Dave, can you take charge of the BBQ?”
“Leave it to me” I said
Laura stopped me before I got there
“Thank you honey” she said and kissed me very provocatively
After an excess of alcohol I ended up staying the night, albeit on an uncomfortable sofa.
There was a good deal of talk about Ian Connolly as the alcohol flowed
I was amazed to find out what a mean spirited man he really was, he wouldn’t even allow his step daughters to park in the office car parks.
It was apparent that Ian Connolly was a bitter unfulfilled little man who made everyone’s life an absolute misery.
But that said, I would be forever grateful to him because had her stepfather not been such a nob I would never have met her, or fallen in love with her.
It was extremely serendipitous.
I drove into the small staff car park and saw there was one empty space left so I headed for that.
I parked the car and was just reaching into the foot well to retrieve my book that had fallen off the seat.
I could see in my peripheral vision someone heading in my direction, he was a small smartly dressed man, casual smart rather than business smart.
When he reached the car he thrust his head through the open window and said abruptly.
“Can I help?” in a very aggressively unhelpful tone.
“No, you’re ok” I replied as I returned to the upright position
“Which company do you work for?” he demanded
“What in this complex?” I asked
“Yes” he barked
“I don’t work for any of them” I replied
“Well you’re on private property” he said
“Yes I understand that” I agreed
“Then you can’t park here” he said still in an aggressive tone
“I don’t work here, but my wife does and I’m picking her up” I explained
“Well there’s no need to be aggressive” he said
“I’m not being aggressive I’m just being honest, you’re the one who’s being aggressive getting in my face and throwing your weight about” I said
“You’re being aggressive” he repeated
“Look, my wife works here and I’m picking her up, end of story” I said dismissively and opened my book and turned my full attention to it as he walked off muttering something northern.
“Unbelievable” I think he said but I couldn’t make out anything else, he was very northern.
Of course when I said I was picking up my wife that wasn’t strictly true, Elaine was my ex-wife but he didn’t need to know that.
Elaine and I had divorced the year before but it was a completely amicable split
After eight years of marriage we both realised it wasn’t really working.
In fact we carried on living under the same roof for nine months until we sold the house and it wasn’t really very different to when we were married, and it really should have been if we belonged together as a couple.
So we knew we had made the right decision.
But we were still very good friends which was why I was still picking her up from work.
A few minutes after the pompous northern git went away muttering Elaine arrived down the steps behind me.
I didn’t relay the tale to her other than to say I had been quizzed about parking there.
And that would probably have been the end of it had it not been for the fact that the ridiculous little man, who it transpired was the de facto landlord, had made a complaint to the Facilities Manager, of the company my wife worked for.
It was very embarrassing for Elaine when she was summoned before Suzy Ford, the Facilities Manager, to be told that her husband had verbally abused the landlord, or at least his representative.
“Ex-husband” she interjected
“What?” Ms Ford retorted
“He’s my ex-husband” Elaine explained
“But he still picks you up from work?” Suzy queried
“Yes” she replied
“Is he still carrying a torch?” The FM asked
“No” Elaine replied “he’s just a good man”
“I wish mine was” Suzy confided “the bastard”
“Ah” Elaine responded
“Anyway Mr Connolly has alleged your ex-husband was aggressive and abusive” Suzy continued “Shouting and swearing at him”
“Nonsense” Elaine said
“Excuse me?” replied the FM
“Dave has never raised his voice in anger to anyone in his life, and as for swearing that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard”
After the meeting Elaine phoned me and she was not happy.
She told me that Ian Connolly had accused me of shouting at him and swearing at him and I was banned from picking her up in that car park in future.
To say I was incandescent with rage when I found out would have been an understatement.
“I promise you that not once did I swear at him or even raise my voice.
I may not have paid him the due deference that he was expecting but that was all. In fact if anything he was the aggressor”
“It’s alright I’m not mad at you, but I had to find out your side of the story”
When she relayed my version of events to Ms Ford, the FM said
“I have heard that about him from other sources, but unfortunately we have to obey the landlord’s instructions”
I didn’t mind not being able to pick her up there that was a minor inconvenience however lying was something I could not abide.
(Part Two)
The road I now had to pick Elaine up in was in fact better for her than the car park, as it was nearer the entrance she used to come out of in the evening.
One evening, about a week and a half after I started parking in Church Hill road I was sitting in the car when a little blue Renault Clio began reversing into the space behind me and hit my car, well nudged it really.
But the girl driving immediately jumped out and ran around to my side of the car and was absolutely horrified at what she had done.
Not that I thought she had really done anything.
But at her urging I got out of the car for an inspection.
She had jet black curly hair and was mid to late twenties, attractive if not beautiful and was wearing a tailored business suit.
Also I noticed she had nice legs and was very curvy, I like curvy, but that wasn’t what I was meant to inspect.
I looked at both bumpers and save for a scuff there was no damage.
“I’m so sorry” she said very flustered
“There’s no harm done” I replied
“Let me give you my details” She said reaching over from the driver’s side and rummaging in the glove box.
“There really is no need” I said admiring the roundness of her buttocks as her movement tightened the fabric of her skirt
She began scribbling something and then said
“Here you are” as she gave me a business card with her insurance details written on the back
“There’s no damage” I said “Honestly”
“We have to do things properly” she insisted
“Do you have many accidents?” I asked already knowing the answer
“No” She said “This is my first”
“I thought so” I said “and actually this doesn’t really count so you still have a perfect record”
She seemed to calm down once I had accepted her details and then she completed her manoeuvre, locked the car and walked off down the road managing to apologize once more before she walked off.
And what a walk it was, just as I was getting an eyeful my mobile rang, it was Elaine
“Hi” I said
“Hey Dave” she replied “I’m running late”
“No problem” I responded “how long?”
“About an hour” she replied “But you don’t need to wait, I’ll get a cab”
“No problem, I’ve got no plans” I said “I’ll meet you in the Choristers Arms”
“Brilliant” she said “You’re a star”
I got myself a drink and sat in a relatively quiet corner and then opened my book and I had only read about four pages when I heard
“Oh hello again”
I looked up and saw it was my assailant,
“Hello Laura” I said
“I just wanted to apologize again” she said
“No need” I replied “but you can buy me a drink”
Which really meant please stay and have a drink with me
“It’s a deal” she said “and I’ll join you if that’s ok, as long as I’m not imposing?”
“Not at all” I said
As she turned and walked to the bar I had another opportunity to admire her generous curvy form with her buttocks rolling and reshaping within her skirt with every step.
“Very nice” I said under my breath
I watched and admired all the while she was at the bar and when she had got the drinks I watched her again as she walked back towards me and I was mesmerised by what I saw.
When she got to the table she leant forward and put a drink in front of me although I only had eyes for the front of her.
She caught me looking and smiled and then sat down.
“Are you meeting someone?” she asked
“Yes I’m waiting for my ex-wife” I replied
She looked confused
So I explained at length the arrangement Elaine and I had and Laura looked less confused.
“What about you?” I asked
“Well I was supposed to be meeting my sister but she’s still at Waterloo” Laura said
“So you are doing me a favour keeping me company until her train gets in”
“I feel so used” I said feigning hurt
“Very funny” she said
“So what were your plans with your sister?” I asked
“Pictures” Laura replied
“Oh yes” I said “Bruce Willis or Keira Knightley?”
“Knightley, I’m afraid” she replied “Helen’s choice”
“Well I fancy the other one myself” I said “Perhaps…”
“I’d love to” she interrupted
“Great” I said “It’s only on until Saturday”
“Saturday it is then” she said just as her phone rang.
She stood up to answer it and stepped outside to get better reception.
“That was my sister” she said when she came back “I have to go”
“Well I’ll see you Saturday then, shall we meet here?” I said
“Yes” she said “7.30”
“Ok” I replied
“Thanks again for being so understanding” Laura said
“Wait a minute is that how you get all your dates?” I asked
“Pretty much” Laura replied “Bye”
Then I feasted my eyes on her again as she walked away.
“Who was that?” Elaine said
“Just someone I bumped into” I replied
“It looks as though you wouldn’t mind bumping into her again” she said
“Funny you should say that, I’m seeing her on Saturday” I said proudly
“Good for you” Elaine said and meant it
“I’m sorry I’m so late, it’s been a pig of a day”
“That’s ok” I assured her “Do you fancy a drink?”
“Oh yes please” she said “as long as I’m not holding you up”
“I wouldn’t have offered if it was a problem” I insisted “as I said I don’t have any plans tonight”
I went and got her a large white wine and myself a coke and returned to the table
“What about you?” I asked
“What?” she said
“Plans for tonight” I explained
“No nothing” she said
“Why don’t we eat then” I suggested “the foods pretty good in here”
“That would be really nice, Dave”
So we ordered from the bar and spent a couple of hours on a proper catch up.
When we split up even though it was amicable and we remained friends ourselves, some of our friends felt it there duty to take sides.
So it was about the people we as the enemy had lost touch with that filled most of the conversation, then we moved on to more personal stuff.
Elaine had been reluctant to tell me but she had been seeing someone for a couple of months, his name was Peter and she met him at work.
“That’s brilliant Elaine, I’m really pleased for you” I said “but why didn’t you tell me before?”
“I don’t know really” she said “it seemed a bit insensitive”
“Well for future reference you can tell me anything” I said
“But you haven’t told me” she said in her defence
“There hasn’t been anything to tell” I said “I’ve been on a couple of disastrous blind dates and that’s all”
“Until today” she added
“Yes until today” I concurred and smiled
I dropped her off about 9.30
“Thanks Dave” Elaine said “Enjoy your date on Saturday”
“I will” I replied and drove the short distance home.
(Part Three)
On Saturday I sat at the same table I had occupied a few days earlier which gave me a good view of the door.
But I still missed her when she came in, I had been watching out for a hot girl in a business suit and black tights.
“Are you looking for me?” a voice said and when I looked up it was Laura.
“Oh hi” I said “I didn’t recognise you”
She was wearing tailored trousers a shimmering top and a short tunic.
“Wow you look great” I said
“Thank you” she said and actually blushed
I thought to myself then that Laura Grew was a keeper.
I suggested eating somewhere afterwards so we decided to catch the earlier performance so we didn’t have time for a drink.
I let Laura go through the door first, not because I’m a gentleman but rather because I wanted to see what her bum looked like in those trousers.
I was not disappointed.
The film was average, the meal was better but the company was sublime and as first dates go it was the best for me by far.
It ended with a goodnight kiss by her car and the securing of another date, the following Saturday.
I have always found that Second dates are always trickier, because there is an expectation which is not present on a first date and all week I was worried about it.
But when Saturday came all my fears and apprehensions melted away when I saw her.
By the end of the night I thought it had even surpassed our first date.
It again ended by her car, this time with a more prolonged kiss.
“Next Saturday?” I said hopefully
“Yes” she said coyly “if you can wait that long”
“And if I can’t?” I asked
“You can come to a BBQ with me tomorrow” she said
“You can pick me up” she said “I’ll text you my address”
I picked Laura up as instructed and on the journey she filled me in on the family politics of which there wasn’t much to report other than the fact her and her sister hated their stepfather Ian.
“He’s a pompous, obnoxious, unpleasant little man who isn’t even nice to mum” She ranted
The BBQ was to celebrate their mum’s birthday which was the only reason she and her sister were going.
Eleanor had only been married to Ian for two years but he had managed to alienate everyone who was important in Eleanor’s life and Laura and Helen were very unhappy about it.
But for their mums sake they always bit their tongues so as not to upset there mum.
That Sunday was no exception they wouldn’t do or say anything to spoil mums birthday.
I parked the car outside the house.
“Deep breath, big smile” she said and I gave her hand a squeeze.
“Give me a kiss for good luck” she said and I obliged
We were just about to go through the side gate when there was a call from behind.
“Wait for us”
I turned around and saw a carbon copy of Laura jogging towards us.
“Hey Helen” Laura said and they kissed and then introductions followed before we proceeded through the gate.
There were a small group of people milling about on the patio, another group on the lawn and a lone man attending to the BBQ.
While I was looking around there was some sudden squealing on the patio from which I deduced the sisters had located their mum.
Neither Helens boyfriend Ray nor I had met the family before so we hung back until the hullaballoo subsided.
When it had we were summoned by our respective girlfriends to be presented.
“I’m pleased to meet you” I said shaking Eleanor’s hand
“Likewise” she said “I’ve heard a lot about you”
“The sausages are ready?” the man called from the BBQ
“And that is my husband” Eleanor said and waved a despairing hand in his direction.
I turned around to say hello just as he did the same.
“Oh” I exclaimed “we’ve already met”
It was Ian Connolly the lying sack of shit who had accused me of swearing at him and my new girlfriend Laura Grew was the pompous gits step daughter.
“I suppose you’re going to verbally abuse me again” he said
“I didn’t verbally abuse you the last time” I replied
“What did you do?” Eleanor asked her husband
“Oh trust you to take their side” he said
“My apologies Eleanor but I think I need to go” I said
“That’s it run away” Ian called after me
“Oh do shut up Ian” Laura said
“As for you, how dare you turn up on your mother’s birthday with a married man you little Trollope” He said venomously
“That’s enough Ian” Eleanor said
“He’s not married you pompous arse” Laura shouted “he’s divorced”
“Oh really is that what he told you?” Ian said with distain
“Then answer me this, what kind of man still drives his ex-wife around?”
“A better man than you obviously” Laura said
“That’s enough you selfish little cow” he said “You’re ruining your mother’s birthday”
“No you’re ruining my birthday” Eleanor said
“What do you mean?” Ian snapped “I’m just trying to do something special for your birthday”
“The most special thing you could do for me would be to get out”
Eleanor said
“What?” he said aghast
“I want you to leave” she reiterated
“If I go then I won’t be coming back” he threatened
“Good” she said almost spitting the word at him
Ian went a very funny shade of purple and a vein in his temple started to throb, I thought his head might explode but it didn’t and he turned on his heels and went in the house.
Helen and Laura ran immediately to hug their mum and they stood in a scrum on the patio and there were a few tears.
They may have stayed there longer but the huddle broke when Ian came back out of the house carrying a small bag and his jacket, then without speaking he left through the side gate followed by a few of the guests, clearly more his friends than hers.
“Now the party can really start” Eleanor said
There was another brief hug fest from the Grew women and then Eleanor said
“Dave, can you take charge of the BBQ?”
“Leave it to me” I said
Laura stopped me before I got there
“Thank you honey” she said and kissed me very provocatively
After an excess of alcohol I ended up staying the night, albeit on an uncomfortable sofa.
There was a good deal of talk about Ian Connolly as the alcohol flowed
I was amazed to find out what a mean spirited man he really was, he wouldn’t even allow his step daughters to park in the office car parks.
It was apparent that Ian Connolly was a bitter unfulfilled little man who made everyone’s life an absolute misery.
But that said, I would be forever grateful to him because had her stepfather not been such a nob I would never have met her, or fallen in love with her.
It was extremely serendipitous.
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