Snippets of Downshire Life – St Andrew’s Day

The Pepperstock Hills National Park stretched from the bare, and often barren crags of Oxley Ridge in the North to the dense wooded southern slopes on the fringe of the Finchbottom Vale and from Quarry Hill, and the Pits in the West to Pepperstock Bay in the East.

It is an area of stark contrasts and attracted a variety of visitors.

The quarry hill side of the park to the west, as the name suggests, was heavily Quarried over several hundred years, though more extensively during the industrial revolution, the Quarries had been un-worked for over fifty years and nature had reclaimed them and former pits had become lakes and were very popular with anglers and the sparse shrubbery and woodland made it popular spot with courting couples whereas the northern crags and fells were popular with climbers and more hardy folk.

To the south and east was an extensive tract of magnificent mixed forestry and was rivalled only by the ancient woodland of the Dancingdean Forest.

One of the parks many villages was Springwater which was where Graham Reynolds had lived for all 63 years of his life, in fact he’d lived his entire life in the same house, and it had never once occurred to him that he should live anywhere else.

 

He was born in the late fifties and had few recollections of that austere decade, almost all his earliest memories were from the brasher, brighter and less restrained sixties.

But the earliest memories he did have were about Christmas and in the Reynolds household Christmas began on St Andrew’s Day, November 30^th.

As a result of his awareness of the time, coming on the cusp of the decades, his earliest memories of Christmas were of a bright and sparkly time when paper chains and the watery coloured paper stars, bells and balls were being replaced by dazzling foil and tinsel.

Which included the Silver Tinsel Christmas Tree, when he looked back it was a quite unspectacular specimen of a tree compared to what’s on offer in the 21^st century, but he loved it.

It stood less than 5 feet tall with its fold down tinsel covered wire branches, tipped with red beads to symbolize berries.

However, by the time his Dad had worked his not inconsiderable Christmas magic and covered it with every size, shape and shade of bauble, glass birds with feathered tails, lantern lights, strands of brightly coloured tinsel, foil covered chocolate treats and tiny crackers lain on the branches, it was transformed and was absolutely stunning.

It was the only tree he’d ever known until his teenage years came to an end, when in the mid-seventies he suggested that they have a real tree just for a change.

He would never have suggested it if he had realized for a second that it would signal the death knell of the Silver Tinsel Tree.

Because the following year it was replaced by a green plastic tree much more akin to those of today.

 

After his Dad died a few years later the task of decorating the tree fell to him and he instantly realized, sadly, that he hadn’t inherited his father’s tree dressing skill and was never able to equal him.

He came very close one year, in 1983 it was, but he concluded in the end that he merely flattered to deceive.

 

The task of tree dresser fell to his wife Evelyn which she performed admirably for 36 years, and she made a far better fist of it than Graham ever could.

However, whether she possessed the necessary skill to transform a Silver Tinsel Tree into something stunning he would never know, as she passed away in October.

“What I would give to watch you dress the tree again my darling” he said as he stared at the naked branches “and then hold you in my arms beside it”

Snippets of Downshire Life – Advent

The traditional seaside resort of Sharpington-by-Sea with its Victorian Pier, seafront hotels, crazy golf, The Palladium ballroom, well maintained gardens, promenade, theatre and illuminations, has all the usual things to have a great time by the seaside, as well as amusement arcades and of course the Sharpington Fun Park and it was in the grand neighbourhood of Granite Hill, which in a nod to San Francisco, the locals had nicknamed Nob Hill, where the new Curate of St Lucy’s, 35 year old Russell Glavin, was headed.

And the reason he was going up to Granite Hill was to have dinner at the home of a local bigwig, and he was muttering to himself and shaking his head for virtually the whole of his walk, as he reran an incident that happened earlier in the evening.

 

He was at the home of the Church Warden Henry Appleby for a meeting about the beginning of Advent, when he needed to pee, so he discreetly slipped away from the meeting and went to use the down stairs bathroom and no sooner had he gone inside and locked the door than he spotted a woman sitting on the toilet, with her tights and underwear around her knees and her skirt hoisted up her thighs.
“I'm so sorry” he said in a fluster “I didn’t think, I am so, so sorry”
He was in such a state that he didn’t know where to look, but when he noticed her smiling at him he got all flustered and turned to leave, but his hand was shaking so much that he couldn’t unlock the door and then he heard her get up and replace her clothing.

“It’s ok I’m not angry” she said, and he turned around to face her

“But I’m so terribly sorry” he said, and she smiled at his discomfort and he got all flustered again and this time when he turned to unlock the door he succeeded and returned to the meeting, just in time for the end, despite the fact he still hadn’t peed.

 

But as he made the steep climb up to Granite Hill all he could think of was the incident with the young and beautiful young woman with the dark skin and bobbed brunette hair and dark, almost black eyes, and that glorious smile.

 

When he reached the house, he knocked on the door and was greeted by Henry Appleby, who he had met at the earlier meeting at his home.

“Hello Russell, the lady of the House is in the lounge” he said and pointed the way

“Thanks Henry” He responded and then headed to the lounge as directed, and no sooner had he gone inside and closed the door than he spotted the woman who’d been sitting on the toilet at Henry’s and she flashed him her glorious smile, a smile that reached her dark, almost black eyes, sharp and intelligent eyes behind her gold rimmed spectacles as they sat on her aquiline nose and with her finely chiselled features she was the beautiful side of attractive, and despite his embarrassment from earlier he found himself drawn to her.

“Ah Russell this is our hostess Alesha Khan”

“Alesha, this is our new Curate, Russell Glavin”

“Hello Russell” she said offering her hand “It’s nice to see you again so soon”

“Likewise,” he said shaking her hand and he felt a tingle of electricity pass between them.

“Oh, I didn’t realise you’d already met” Henry said

“It was on a brief hello” she said without elaboration

He knew that she wasn’t at Henry’s for the meeting, she was only there to go through the Parish accounts, so he wasn’t quite sure how they’d met.

“Alesha Khan?” he said “the Children’s Writer”

“Yes” she replied

“I just bought my niece “the Wayward Wiccan” for Christmas” he said “She’s a big fan”

“She has impeccable taste” she said with a laugh

“Now you must excuse me while I check the food”

 

He was conciderably less embarassed after having met, and been formaly introduced to her, especially as she was fully clothed, so he was able to relax and mingle with the other guests.

In addition to the hostess Alesha, there was a skinny young woman of a similar age, Kim Labuschagne, an illustrator, who was an old school friend of the hostess, and she also assisted in the kitchen, Alesha’s brother Zach, an artist, Henry Appleby, Church Warden at St Lucy’s, Literary agents, Jayson and Kathryn Mercer,

Actresses Kerry Freeborn and Sharon Blackburn and Tim Street who was a Local Historian, so it was an interesting bunch.

 

When the time came for them to take their seats he found that he was seated between the Actress, Kelly Freeborn, and Alesha, and as the actress seemed to be focusing all her attension on the man across the table from her, Jayson Mercer, he found he spent most of the meal talking to his hostess.    

She was a delightful young woman, intelligent, witty and a very good cook, toboot, he thought of her as a young woman but she was only younger than him by a year or two.

“So tell me about you niece?” she asked

“Amanda is my sister Liz’s daughter, 12 years old, incredibly bright, a voracious reader, and she can twist me round her little finger” he said proudly “and as she is an only child, I spoil her”

“Is she local?”

“Relatively, they live in Shallowfield” he said “So I see them fairly regularly”

“And do you have any other nephews and nieces?”

“No, just the one” he replied

“What about children of your own?” she asked

“No, sadly, but then I am a batchelor”

“So you’re not the marrying kind eh?” she said and winked

“I wouldn’t say that. I just havent met the right person yet” he replied

“Perhaps you’ve been looking in the wrong places” she said and raised her eyebrows, in reference to their first meeting and they both laughed.

 

Over coffee Alesha said

“As your niece Amanda is a fan, why don’t you pop round with the book some time and I’ll sign it for you”

“That’s very kind but I wouldn’t wish to presume on your good nature” he protested

“Nonsense, I insist” she said and touched the back of his had, and he felt that tingle of electricity again and he could tell by her expression that she felt it too.   

“Thank you” he said after she removed her hand

“That would be great Kudos for me, She’ll think I’m the best Uncle in the World”

“I’m sure she does already” she said and smiled and then people started getting up to leave so he felt that he should too.

 

Alesha was at the front door saying goodbye to her guests and Russell was the last of them

“So I know you’re going to be busy for the next few days at St Lucy’s as it’s the first Sunday of Advent, and then I’m in Abbottsford for a couple of days, seeing my publisher among other things, so is Wednesday eveing ok with you?”

“That would be perfect” he said and shook her hand, “Good night”

“Good night, Russell I’ll see you Wednesday”

  

Alesha was right about him being busy on Sunday, St Lucy’s was such a well attended Church that they ran three services, at his previous Parish they barely had enough Parishioners to run one.

When he called round to her house on Wednesday Evening he related his thoughts to her while they sat in her lounge drinking coffee.

“So how did you motivate yourself to so few, was it Matthew 18:20 “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them”” she asked

“No I used an old joke that my Uncle Walter told me many years ago, he was also a clergyman, and a very funny man” he said

“Well do tell” she said in ernest

“Ok then” he said “It was a bitterly cold and bleak Christmas morning and the snow had been falling heavily for hours, and the Vicar stood at the door waiting to greet his congregation, but none came, then just as he had decided to cancel the service, one solitary parishioner arrived, a farmer named John, “Merry Christmas john”, the Vicar said, but alas you’ve had a wasted journey because even though it’s Christmas day I’ve decided there’s no point in having a service today”

“Well Vicar when I go to the fields at feeding time and only one cow turns up, I still feed it””

“That’s a great analogy” Alesha said and laughed delightfully

“Not as poetic as Matthew but very funny”

 

“Now wheres that book?” she asked and put a lap tray in place in preparation and he gave her it to her and she opened the fly leaf and began to write, and write.

“That’s a very long inscription” he said

“Hush, I’m busy giving you more kudos” she said and chuckled

“There” she said offering the book to him, and snatching it back imediately

“No peeking until she’s read it, promise”

“Promise” he said and she handed the book to him which he put straight in his bag.

 

When it was time for him to leave Alesha took the cups to the kitchen while he slipped his coat on and when she came back she said

“Its absolutely bucketing down out there”

“That’s ok I don’t have far to go”

“I’ll drive you in the car” she offered

“I’ll be fine really”

“Nonsence you’ll catch your death, and you’ve got a busy time ahead, you still have three advent services, St Lucy’s Day, the Carol Concert, Christingle and then theres Christmas itself, so if you think I’m going to let you get soakd to the skin you are very much mistaken” she said forcefully and found herself buttoning his coat when she was finished “So we’ll go in the car”

“Ok then” he conceeded

 

As she walked him to the front door he added

“I have to confess I was surprised to find the Author of “the Wayward Wiccan” was a christian”

“Do you mean because my heroine is a pagan?”

“Yes I suppose so”

“Well first of all despite her being a Wiccan she is also a force for good” she said

“And its very difficult to completely sepearate paganism and christianity, especially at this time of year, Christmas itself takes place at the time of the old Roman festival of Saturnalia”

“Well yes that’s true” he agreed

“And the bringing of evergreens in to the home, a wreath on the door, holly boughs, Christmas Trees and of course this…” she said pointing upwards to the mistletoe hanging above them.

“Ah” he exckaimed

“A very potent pagan symbol” she said

“I don’t suppose we could just ignore it” he enquired

“Not really”

“We could pretend we havent seen it” he suggested

“I wouldn’t recommend it” Alesha said gravely

“You wouldn’t?”

“No, it might anger the Gods”

“The pagan Gods?”

“No, the Christmas Gods” she said and kissed him, and it was a gentle tender kiss that made his knees go weak.

“Oh my, that’s very potent” Russell sighed

“Well I think that should appease the Gods” she said and opened the door “For now”

“Oh I think so” he agreed

 

When she pulled up outside Jubilee Court he was hoping for another taste of pagan potensy but he was to be dissapointed

“I’m off on my travels again” she said “but I should be back on St Lucy’s Day”

“Ok, good night then, and thanks for the lift”

“My pleasure, good night, I hope to see you at the party” she said

 

 

The Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa – The First Sunday of Advent Matinée

The beautiful Downshire village of Clerembeax St Giles was situated to the west of Abbeyvale located between Grace Hill and Bushy Down and on the outskirts was the Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa and when staffing the Hotel, they wanted to employ from the village populous where possible, and that was how the Ward girls came to work at the Palace.

Donna was the oldest at twenty five and the smallest at 5ft 2 and she took under her wing the even more diminutive Laura Van Zyl and they grew close over the months, but on the afternoon of the first day of advent, they played a prank on a shy young lad beneath mistletoe, when they both kissed him on the cheeks, just a peck on each cheek, but that was enough to make him turn beetroot red, and rush through the doors unceremoniously.

They both fell about laughing at his reaction and then Donna held the mistletoe above Laura’s head and she kissed her, but unlike with Graham it didn’t stop at a peck, in fact it didn’t stop at all, and the recipient didn’t run away red faced down the corridor.

 

Later that same December afternoon Donna Ward and Laura Van Zyl lay naked beneath the duvet in room 114.

And in its cosiness, they were both silently contemplating their situation and reflecting that it was not how they had envisaged the day panning out.

Donna was holding Laura, who had her head on her new lover’s chest and it was her who finally broke the silence when she said

“That was quite a surprise”

“Which part?” Donna asked

“All of it” she replied “but it was a very nice surprise”

“Which part?” Donna asked again

“All of it” she replied and giggled

“I’d never done it before” She confessed, in fact Laura had never done anything before, with anyone, she was a virgin in every conceivable sense of the word.

“I know Honey” Donna said

“Do you mind?” the novice asked

“No of course not” she replied, “You do know that I’ve done it before?”

“God yes” she replied and giggled again

“But I didn’t know you were a ….”

Donna chuckled and kissed her forehead and said

“A lesbian”

“That’s right, because I automatically assumed the Phil, you’re always talking about, was a man”

Laura explained.

Phil was Donna’s partner of 5 years until she married a man.

“Are you disappointed?” she asked

“What with?” Laura replied with another question

“The fact that I’m a Lesbian” answered Donna

“Are you kidding? After what we just did?”

They both giggled and then Laura kissed Donna with warmth and passion.

“You realise that this means you are a Lesbian as well now?” 

“Really?” she responded as she cuddled up closer still to her lover “How exotic, what would my mother say?”

“Do you care?” Donna asked

“Not for a second”

They lay quiet again for a few minutes before Laura said sheepishly

“I do have one question though”

“What’s that Honey?” Donna asked

“I was just wondering when we might um…” she began

“You were wondering what?” she asked suspiciously

“Well… when we could do it again?” she asked and buried her face in Donna’s chest to hide her embarrassment

“That’s very brazen” she said

“I know” Laura said without lifting her head

“Well as it’s our day off, its dark out, the room is at our disposal and we’re all cosy warm in bed already, so I suppose we could do it again right now”

“Oooh really” Laura purred “I like the sound of that”

“You do realise though that you’ll never get to heaven behaving so brazenly”

“I’m already there” Laura replied

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa – The First Sunday of Advent

The beautiful Downshire village of Clerembeax St Giles was situated to the west of Abbeyvale located between Grace Hill and Bushy Down and on the outskirts was the Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa and when Yvonne Labuschagne inherited it from her cousin, the last remaining Clerembeax, she undertook the task of modernizing the Palace and opening a Hotel and Spa offering, fitness classes, gym, rock sauna, infra-red sauna, aroma steam room, ice fountain, drench showers, Jacuzzi, a Romanesque pool, Reflexology, Raki, facials, scalp massage, hand massage, Manicure and Pedicure, while also providing accommodation, meeting and function rooms, a superior restaurant and whatever temptation might attract potential visitors.

She was by profession a masseuse and had worked for many years along with her late husband at the Dancingdean Spa Hotel in Childean.

Staffing the Hotel and Spa was crucial, and Yvonne used her contacts in the Spa world to find the right specialist people in her field of expertise’s and employed Hannah Morgan to fill the remainder of the roles, on the understanding that she employ from the village populous where possible, and that was how the Ward girls came to work at the Palace.

 

The Ward family had a small holding on the North side of the village, parents Jack and Olive, and daughters Donna, Felicity, Josephine, and Maxine.

It was a profitable concern and gave them all a modest living but when the Palace opened, it gave them a chance to supplement their incomes without having to travel to Abbeyvale.

They were all hard-working girls and didn’t care what work they did so Hannah Morgan didn’t hesitate to offer them all housekeeping jobs.

Donna was the oldest at twenty-five and the smallest at 5ft 2.

But she was wiry and strong with thick chestnut coloured hair.

With the girls all working shifts at the Spa it was necessary to employ some extra labour when harvest time came around.

Which was when Laura Van Zyl came into Donna’s life.

She was smaller than her and even thinner and although they had both spent their entire lives in the village they had never met.

Laura was only 18, shy, naïve and sweet natured and all alone in the world she didn’t really understand.

She had been raised by a bitter, mean spirited and domineering mother.

Her father had deserted them when she was a baby and her mother blamed Laura and made her life a misery.

But now she was free and living in the cottage in which her mother kept her imprisoned, but there was only a little money, so she had to work.

 

Donna took her under her wing immediately and showed her how things were none.

“You’re a quick learner” Donna said “Like my Phil was”

“Thank you” Laura said meekly

During the first week of harvesting they got on really well although the conversations were fairly one sided as Laura was as quiet as a mouse, while Donna prattled on, Phil did this, and Phil did that, but Laura didn’t mind, she’d never had anyone that talked to her before.

 

After a couple of weeks at the farm Donna said

“You’re a really hard worker, we could use you up at the Palace”

“Really?”

“Yes, I’ll get you an application form if you like” she said

“Oh, I can’t do it then” Laura said

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t read or write” she said quietly and started to cry

“Don’t cry honey” Donna said

“I’ll help you with the form”

“Will you?” she asked as she wiped tears off her cheeks with her sleeve

“Yes of course”

“But what if they ask me to read something, or fill something in while I’m there” she said in a panic

“You’ll be making beds and cleaning bathrooms” Donna said “All you need to be able to do is recognize room numbers, and I know you can do that”

“But…”

“And I will teach you to read and write” Donna said

“Honestly?” she asked and began crying again

 

Over the next couple of months Donna was good to her word, she helped Laura fill in the form, and got her an interview, and explained to Hannah Morgan about the illiteracy, which they were already addressing, and Laura got the job and by the beginning of December Hannah had waived the remainder of her probation because she was such a hard worker.

 

Also, over that period Donna also took it upon herself to introduce Laura to things she had not been exposed to in her earlier life.

Donna already knew that her knowledge of popular culture was virtually non-existent, so the cinema was an obvious choice, as was bowling and Pizza.

But there was one thing that she was reluctant to introduce her to, which was very important to Donna, the Church.

The Ward Family had always been churchgoers and not out of a sense of duty, the whole family had very strong faiths, but Laura was a blank canvas, but at the end of November Laura suggested they do something as they both had Sunday off.

“We could go shopping” Laura suggested

“I can’t” she replied “I have Church in the Morning, it’s the first Sunday of Advent”

“I don’t know what that is, is it important?”

“Yes” Donna replied and then explained its significance

“Could I go?” she asked

“Anyone can go” Donna replied

“Could I go with you?”

“Of course, you can Honey” she said and smiled at the sweet innocence on her face.

 

“Is it always like that?” Laura asked as they left St Giles’

“Sometimes it’s even better” Donna replied “I take it that you enjoyed it”

“Oh yes”

“Well if you liked that then you’ll love the Carol Service, Christingle, Midnight Mass and Christmas Morning”

“And I can go to all of them?” she asked innocently

“Yes honey” Donna replied and put her arm around her

 

Laura had lunch with Ward family and then afterwards she and Donna delivered a van load of Door Wreathes, Holly Boughs and Sprigs of Mistletoe to the Hotel.

There were plenty of willing hands at the Hotel to help unload the van but before they left she needed to go and get the delivery signed for by Hannah, so she parked the van and went inside.

It only took a minute to get the manifest signed off, but before they left Donna spotted Graham Watts, who was a shy young lad that Donna knew fancied one of her sisters, so she thought she’d have some fun with him before they left, so she snaffled some mistletoe and went after him.

When they caught up with him he was on the first floor.

“Hey Graham, you’re taller than us, can you hang this sprig over this door?” Donna asked pointing above the door.

“Oh ok” he replied and adopted a strange ungainly stance before reaching up, at which point they both kissed him on the cheeks beneath the mistletoe, just a peck on each cheek, but that was enough to make him turn beetroot red, drop the mistletoe and rush through the doors unceremoniously.

They both fell about laughing at his reaction and then Donna held the mistletoe above Laura’s head as she adopted Graham’s distinctive stance and she kissed her, but unlike with Graham it didn’t stop at a peck, in fact it didn’t stop at all, and the recipient didn’t run away red faced down the corridor.