Two days later the
last of the timber was removed revealing the full extent of the damage to the
boundary fence, the garden shed and what used to be the lawn, miraculously the
wishing well sustained only minor damage.
Paul was on site and
talking on his mobile organising the next phase which would be to remove all
the debris and replace the fencing, erecting a new shed and generally tidying up.
The new lawn would
have to wait until spring and the replacement shrubs and plants would be
replaced at the same time.
Julie went out into
the garden just as he was finishing his phone call and I was standing by the
remains of what used to be the shed, the shed erected by my own two hands, I
was amazed it had lasted twenty years, I never did master DIY.
I was too far away to
hear what Paul and Julie were saying but they were headed back inside the house,
I was already in the kitchen when they arrived.
“We’re cutting
Christmas trees on the estate at the moment I will have them cut you one by way
of an apology, what size would you like?”
“I don’t really do
Christmas” She said “It’s just an empty commercial festival”
“But thanks anyway”
She added.
“Oh, and when did you
become so cynical?”
“From the moment I
discovered Father Christmas doesn’t exist”
“Who says he doesn’t?”
he asked
“Ho, ho, ho” she said
sarcastically
“I think everybody has
a little bit of Christmas in their heart” Said Paul
“That would be tiny in
my case” she said, and Paul looked a bit deflated after she said that but
perked up when she added.
“A meal would be a
perfectly acceptable apology though”
It was a week later
when Paul picked Julie up and drove her over to Abbotsford for their meal, I
would say their date, but Julie kept insisting it was not a date.
It was quite late when
he brought her home and I was a little disappointed when the evening ended on
the doorstep with a peck on the cheek, I had high hopes, but Julie was holding
back for some reason.
“Good night” Julie said
and came in and closed the door.
“Nice evening?” I
asked
“Yes, very nice”
“Good meal? Good
company?”
“Yes, to both
questions”
“But?”
“I really like him,
but I don’t know if I want to go through it all again”
“Nothing ventured
nothing gained” I said
“I’ve done my share of
venturing in the past and I haven’t yet gained” Julie said
“I’ll probably just
screw it up again Harry so it’s probably best if I stop it before it starts”
She waved away any protest
from me and went up to bed.
“Night Harry”
“Night Julie” I
replied and to myself I added
“That won’t do at all”
The next day before
Julie was up and about I sent a text to Paul from Julie’s mobile.
It was quite exciting as
I’d never done one before, even while I was alive.
I was quite surprised
that it was more difficult than it looked and really rather complicated to get
the letter you wanted and then it kept changing the word.
I came very close a
number of times to throwing the damn thing across the room, but eventually I
managed to write:
“Thank you, Paul, I
had a wonderful time last night I really would love to do it again. Julie x
PS, just ignore me if
I play hard to get, Lol”
Within a couple of minutes,
I got a reply.
“I had a wonderful
time too I will call you soon. Paul”
Then I quickly deleted
my text to him and his reply and then put the phone back in Julie’s handbag
with only minutes to spare before I heard Julie coming down the stairs.
I felt very pleased
with myself and my subterfuge and I thought it was just a matter of time before
the two of them got together again, however when a week had passed, and nothing
had happened I was not so confident.
There had been a
couple of texts which I didn’t get to see before she deleted them and there had
been a phone call, but it didn’t last long, so it was to be another evening of
chess and conversation.
I set up the board as
Julie entered the room from the kitchen carrying a glass and bottle she opened
a bottle of wine the first she’d had for several weeks.
I frowned at her and
nodded in the direction of the wine.
“It’s ok I haven’t
taken any pain killers for three days, so this is by way of celebration”
“Excellent” I said “I
wish I could join you”
“Bad luck” she said
taking a long sip
“But I would prefer
Christmas Ale” I added
“Oh, don’t start on
Christmas again”
“Why do you hate
Christmas so much?” I asked
“How long do you
have?” She replied without humour.
“I have as long as it
takes, I’m dead remember” I said trying to inject a little humour as I sat down
opposite her.
“Where should I start”
she looked around the room as if seeking inspiration.
“Christmas has been a
disappointment all my life, I grew up with the constant disappointment of not
getting the presents that I asked for” she said with a wry smile “Which I
blamed Santa for”
I started to speak but
Julie interrupted me.
“I know that’s very
childish and pathetic” she said and even laughed a little.
“When did you stop
believing?”
“I believed right up until
I was seven, that was the year I discovered Santa Claus was actually my drunken
father” She said flatly and took a long drink
“So, with a drunk for
a father and a violent bully for a mother my childhood was just full of
Christmas joy”
“Not brilliant then” I
added
“Then three
Christmas’s ago at one of our merry Christmas family gatherings my own sister
stole my husband and my mother took my sisters side” she paused thin lipped
remembering the pain of it, feeling it fresh as if for the first time, she
gathered herself then continued.
“My dear mother said
if I’d kept him satisfied in the bedroom he wouldn’t have strayed, not that he
had to stray too far with my slutty sister sniffing round him like a bitch on
heat”
“What did you say to
your mother?” I asked
“I said that if she’d
kept my father satisfied in the bedroom he wouldn’t have turned to drink”
“Oooh”
“I haven’t spoken to
her or my sister since” she confessed and took another drink.
“Then last year two
weeks before Christmas a drunk driver ran a red light and broadsided me
shattering my hip and putting me in hospital for months”
She reached out and
grabbed her cane.
“And now I still have
my trusty stick as a constant reminder of what Christmas means to me”
I wished I could have given
her a fatherly hug, but I couldn’t, so we fell silent after that and
concentrated on the chess for a while.
I was out and about in
the garden early next morning it was less than a week before Christmas and I
was beginning to despair that as far as we had come together it was not going
to be far enough to save us both.
But it was more than
that, when I started it was about helping Julie in order to cross over and be
reunited with Rose.
But I had come to care
about Julie more than I thought possible and furthermore I had come to realise just
how much I had wasted the final months of my own life.
I had brought her back
from the brink and I resolved that I would succeed in opening her heart, not
for my own sake but for hers.
I transported myself
to the sitting room only to find it empty but there was the sound of cooking
coming from the kitchen and perhaps more alarming the sound of singing.
When I appeared in the
kitchen I found Julie frying bacon and singing along to an Eva Cassidy song
playing on the radio.
“Are you ok?” I asked
with false concern.
“Yes why?”
“I thought you must
have had a relapse and your hip was hurting”
“Very funny Harry” she
said with a smile.
“Would you like some
bacon? Oh, I forgot you can’t eat can you I’ll have to eat it all myself then”
“You can be a very
cruel young woman” I said indignantly and tucked the newspaper under my arm and
withdrew to the sitting room.
After she had devoured
her bacon, which I was denied the pleasure of eating, but perhaps worse even
than that
I was also denied its
smell, she came into the sitting room and sat opposite me and we started a tug
of war over the newspaper.
“You’re in a very
playful mood today” I suggested after I had lost custody of the paper.
“I feel happy today, I
don’t know why, I just do”
As she was in a good
mood I decided to chance my arm and enquire as to the state of play between her
and Paul.
“Have you heard from
Paul?” I said directly.
“Don’t start”
“What? It was an
innocent enough question”
“Hmm, well as it
happens he did phone me”
“Really?” I said
keenly
“He invited me out for
dinner on Christmas Eve”
“That’s great”
“I declined his
invitation” she said
“Why?”
“Look Harry I’m sure
he really is a nice guy and I do like him” Julie said
“But?”
“But, I am finally
getting my life back on course, and that’s due in no small part to you, and I
don’t need any complications”
“That really is a
shame” I
said sincerely.
“I just don’t think I’m ready” She added
With that she handed
me the paper and returned to the kitchen I left it ten minutes or so and then
joined her just as Bruce Springfield’s gravelled tones emanated from the radio
and I dueted with him in a fine rendition of “Santa Claus is coming to town”.
When we had finished
more or less together I took a bow or two.
“Ha-ha I do love a
good Christmas song”
“Oh God protect me
from the happy Christmas ghost” Julie was laughing.
“What is it with you
and Christmas anyway?” she asked rhetorically, then she stood and looked at me,
my portly build, white beard and the hateful red sweater, shaking her head
despairingly.
“In fact, come to
think of it you even look like Santa, in a rather jaded retired to the old folk’s
home kind of way” she said and then chuckled her rich velvet chortle.
“Oh, and why is that,
just because I’m a jolly fat man with a white beard?” I said striking an indignant pose.
“No, you have a fair
point you would only qualify on two out of three” then her chuckle morphed into
a full belly laugh and then I was laughing with her.
Our merriment was
interrupted by a knock at the door and Julie was still wiping the tears of
laughter from her eyes as she opened the door.
It was a smiling Paul
Warwick who had knocked, and his expression instantly changed to one of concern
when he saw Julie’s tears.
“Is everything
alright?” he asked with genuine concern.
Realizing what she was
doing Julie quickly dispelled his concern with a tale about something hilarious
on the radio.
Suitably reassured
Paul’s smile returned to his face and he briefly gathered himself before
revealing the meaning for his visit.
“I know you said you
didn’t do Christmas” He began.
“But as I said
everyone has a little Christmas in their heart”
Julie was about to cut
him off in full flow, but he put his hand up to stop her before she could start.
“So, with that in
mind” he said ducking down to retrieve something from the floor.
“I thought of this”
He was holding in his
hand a small live Christmas tree in a pot, complete with tinsel and baubles,
standing about two feet tall and it was even topped by a fairy.
“A tiny Christmas tree
for someone with only a tiny bit of Christmas in her heart” He said as he
presented the tree to Julie.
“That’s so sweet” She
said “Thank you”
“You can plant it in
the garden after Christmas, so it will keep growing and hopefully your love of
Christmas will grow with it” he said and there were tears in her eyes again, as
she looked at the tiny tree and then Paul excused himself as he had some estate
business that he needed to attend to, which I later found out was delivering
hampers to the homes of his workers.
Julie stood looking at
the little tree with a silly grin on her face as Paul said goodbye and was
heading up the path.
“I told you he was a
nice man” I said.
“Yes” she said looking
at me with tears welling up in her eyes.
“Oh God I can’t let
him go I have to talk to him”
“Well run after him
then” I suggested
“I can’t run” She
said.
“Go and slow him down
somehow”
Julie set off walking
and I transported myself to the gate just as Paul’s hand reached for the latch.
As he tried to open
the gate I held it shut and no matter how much he shook it, the gate wouldn’t move.
Julie was only a few
yards away now.
“Paul!” She called,
and he turned around to see where Julie was calling from.
“Hi, you appear to
have a problem with your gate” He said just as I let go of it and the gate
swung open.
“That’s odd” he said.
“I’m glad I caught
you” She said wincing a little at the effort of pursuing him.
“About dinner on
Christmas Eve, is it too late to change my mind?”
On Christmas Eve I sat
in the solitude of the cottage for what I hoped would be the last time, hoping
that the person I had come to care so much for, would not need me anymore,
while at the same time regretting that I would no longer be required to spend
the long pleasant evenings in her company.
In the beginning I
thought that I was left stranded on earth solely because of the way I withdrew
from life, and that my having to help someone escape my fate was my penance,
but in fact I came to understand that my predicament was less about a
punishment for me but rather more about salvation for Julie and a last chance
for her to find happiness.
In truth no matter how,
fond I was of her I did not belong there, and though tinged with regret I hoped
soon to be moving on.
I became aware of
voices outside and thought, was this the moment of a tender kiss goodnight on
the door step, but instead the door opened, and Julie stepped into the darkness
and my heart dropped and I thought we were back, perhaps not to square one, but
we had definitely gone into reverse.
But then the light
went on and following Julie was the tall figure of Paul who closed the door
behind him.
“Make yourself
comfortable while I get us a drink” Julie said before disappearing into the
kitchen.
Paul headed in my
direction and I had to move quickly before he sat on my lap.
I stood invisible in
the corner by the stairs and observed as Julie came out of the kitchen with a
bottle of wine and a glass, then she stopped in her tracks and turned on her
heels and briefly returned to the kitchen before reappearing with a second
glass. She smiled to herself at the force of habit and glanced around the room
to see where I was.
Julie set the bottle
and glasses on the table then before she could sit Paul stood up and took her
hand and pulled her gently towards him and beside the tiny two-foot Christmas Tree
he kissed her tenderly and she kissed him back.
At the precise moment
she returned his kiss on that Christmas Eve a bright light emanated down the
stairs and I knew my moment had come.
I looked up the
illuminated staircase and standing at the top was my dear Rose with her hand
outstretched towards me.
I turned again to look
at the embracing couple, Paul had his back to me and as their lips parted I
allowed Julie to see me one last time.
“Good bye Julie it’s
time for me to go now, have a happy life” I said and waved.
Then as she stood
holding onto Paul her head resting on his shoulder she mouthed the words “Merry
Christmas Harry”
I left the young
couple and walked up the stairs and took Rose’s hand and we were instantly in
another place.
Now I spend most of my
time with Rose and all those who went before me, but I still look in on Paul
and Julie from time to time, I can do that now I’m a proper spirit, but that is
a tale for another time.
