Friday, 9 July 2021

Those Memories Made on Teardrop Lake – (21) A Phoenix from the Flames

 

It was on New Year’s Eve that Jane Cooper’s life changed for ever, although she was totally oblivious to it at the time.

She had gone to bed as the year came to an end she reflected on the events of the year and congratulated herself quite smugly on her achievements, and the growing restaurant fund she had been working on and she looked forward to the future.

 

She was 8 years old when she and her family moved into Coopers Villa after her father Paul became reconciled with his estranged father Harry. 

She had been very happy living there but almost from the day she moved in she attracted the attention of her new neighbour Terry O’Neil.

He was a persistent lad and he pursued Jane for sixteen years before he finally wore her down.

 

Jane was a person with a goal in life which she had had since she was very young.

And she had been literally working towards it since she left college.

It was been hard work, but she wasn’t afraid of that.

She worked every job she could which was all grist to the mill, every penny she earned went into the Restaurant fund.

Because that was her goal, to be chef de cuisine in her own kitchen in her own restaurant.

It was a big goal, she had set the bar high, but she figured if you’re going to have a dream you might as well dream big.

 

She had never had anything personally against Terry, and he was a good looking fella just like his brothers.

The three O’Neil Boys were all good looking and had black hair and wild gypsy eyes.

Whereas all the Cooper girls, of which there were also three, all had Auburn hair and freckles all.

The truth was Jane didn’t really do time off and she certainly didn’t do dating which was why at the age of 24 she was still a virgin.

 

When Jane got up on the morning of New Year’s Day she went downstairs and was met with very grave expressions.

“Blimey! How much did you lot drink last night?” Jane asked and gave a little chuckle.

Just then her father walked in wearing his uniform and no one was laughing.

“I thought you were off today” she said

“I was” he replied then he kissed Lynn

“I’ll see you later love”

“What’s happened?” Jane asked but no one spoke

“What’s happened?” she repeated “Where’s dad gone?”

“Someone’s been hurt” Lynn replied

Jane knew by the atmosphere that it was someone they knew, but she didn’t know who it could be.

And as if to pre-empt Jane’s next question Lynn said 

“It’s Terry O’Neil”

And Jane felt like she’d been punched in the stomach.

And the next thing she knew she was being helped up from the floor.

 

PC Terry O’Neil was on duty on New Year’s Eve with another PC, Georgina Devereaux, when there was an armed robbery at a wholesale jewellers in Finchbottom.

Georgina was driving when they took the call and spun the car around as Terry responded on the radio.

Two other cars were in pursuit of the bandit car from Finchbottom and O’Neil and Devereaux were heading straight for them to intercept.

As Georgina took the roundabout, the bandit car went the wrong side of the island as a shortcut to the motorway and hit them head on.

Devereaux and two of the bandits died at the scene and a third in the ambulance, only Terry survived and he was only hanging on.

 

“Oh my darling” Lynn said as she helped Jane onto a chair

“I didn’t know”

“What am going to do mum?” she said and wept

 

Terry had pursued Jane from the age of eight when she and her family first moved to the lake but Jane had always given him the cold shoulder.

However a couple of months before the accident she began to see him in a different light and they had their first proper date.

And it went so well they planned more but Terry didn’t home again for any significant amount of time for the rest of the year buy they spoke on the phone a few times and they did meet briefly at St Mary’s on Christmas morning.

And then the accident happened.


As soon as he reached the Winston Churchill Hospital, Terry was rushed into theatre and after several hours of surgery he was transferred to intensive care minus one leg.

 

Jane was like a zombie in the days following the bad news.

Her mum and dad kept her updated on his progress, Lynn through her contacts in the medical profession and her father as a high ranking police officer.

But all she really knew was that he was off the critical list and his police career was over.

And that wasn’t enough, so she had to adopt unconventional methods.

She borrowed granddad Harrys binoculars and from a suitable vantage point, her sister Karen’s Bedroom window, spied on the comings and goings at Lakeside Villa.

Although it might have seemed unorthodox, or even creepy to the untrained eye, but she wanted to be sure Kay O’Neil was at home when she called round.

So it was all in a good cause and after all she didn’t spy on them all the time, she still had to work for a living.

 

All the time Terry was in the ICU someone was at his bedside, talking to him, holding his hand, sharing their news and their love, either one of his parents or one of his brothers.

So their comings and goings at Lakeside Villa were very irregular.

 

It was twenty minutes into her third morning of espionage when Jane got her reward, when she saw Kay’s car pull onto the drive.

Kay worked at a nursing home in Childean and was obviously returning home after a night shift.

Kay O’Neil was a kindly woman and a good neighbour.

Jane waited until she was sure Mrs O’Neil was in the house before she raced downstairs and out the front door.

And then a few minutes later she was knocking on the O'Neil’s front door.

“Hello Kay” Jane said when the door opened

“Jane! How lovely” she said still wearing her nursing uniform “Come in dear”

“How is Terry?” she asked as she stepped over the threshold.

“He’s stable, but they have him in a medical induced coma” she said “I’m off to sit with him for a couple of hours”

Jane was thoughtful in response and then asked

“Are you going on your own?”

“Yes I’m afraid so” she replied “The others are at work”

“I could keep you company if you like” Jane said

“Would you? That would be nice” Kay replied “I’m leaving in half an hour”

 

As she drove them to the Winston Churchill Hospital it was Kay who broke the silence 

“Terry has loved you since primary school you know?”

“I know” she replied and added a moment later

“And I only realised quite recently that the feeling was mutual”

Kay reached across and squeezed her hand.

 

Kay always envisaged that they would get together eventually but she didn’t think it would take quite as long as it had.

When they reached the hospital they went straight up in the lift.

Terry was in the High Dependency unit and Jane was shocked when she saw him lying there.

Apart from numerous fractures, sternum, ribs, collar bone and wrist, he had also lost his right leg below the knee and the road to recovery was going to be a long one.

He was a mass of bruises and abrasions and there were tubes coming out of every orifice.

And there was a frame keeping the covers from where his leg would have been.

 

She felt that same blow to her stomach she had felt on New Year’s Day when she first heard the news, and she felt queasy and light headed and for a moment she thought she might end up on the floor again, but Jane took a series of deep breaths.

 

“Hi Baby” Kay called “Mums here, and I’ve brought Jane too”

Kay kissed his forehead and added  

“Sit down and talk to him while I’ll get us a coffee”

“What should I say?” Jane asked

“Just chat to him” Kay said

“Let him hear your voice dear”

Jane nodded and sat on the chair by the bed as Kay left and after a few moments she said

“Well Terry O’Neil, You finally got my full attention”

And she took hold of his hand and cried.

Jane felt so much better after she had seen Terry, even though he was in a coma.

And she was much more relaxed on the journey home and her and Kay even laughed and joked.

 

Jane visited him whenever she could after that, sometimes with Kay, sometimes with his brothers and sometimes on her own, it depended on when or whether she was working.

Her visiting went on like that for more than a week with her sat by his bed holding his hand and baring her soul.

But that came to an end one lunchtime when she was working at the Brown Windsor Restaurant.   

It was just after the last of the mains had gone to the pass that she received a text from Kay.

“He’s awake x”

 

Her first reaction was to go outside by the wheelie bins and cried her eyes out.

But as soon as the service was concluded and the kitchen cleaned down she went across the road to the surgery.

“Hello love” Lynn said “everything ok?”

“Can I borrow the car mum?” Jane asked

“Any particular reason?” Lynn asked

“Terry’s awake” she said

Lynn just smiled and tossed her the car keys.

 

Jane didn’t realise as she ran down the path towards the car park that there were a number of smiling faces pressed up against the windows watching her.

When she reached the car, she dropped the car keys on the tarmac, twice.

And when managed to unlock the car and get in she couldn’t find the ignition.

But eventually she started the car and drove off.

 

Although Jane had held a full licence since she was 18 she was not an experienced driver by any stretch of the imagination, which was perhaps fortunate as it forced her to be more cautious than she otherwise might have been under the circumstances.

And it was as a consequence of her caution that she reached the hospital in safety.

So she parked the car and then rode up in the lift, when the lift doors opened she paused and took a deep breath before stepping out.

She had only taken a few steps before she heard a familiar voice.

“Jane dear!” Kay said and hugged her.

“Hello Kay” she said and hugged her back

“Come and sit” she instructed “The doctors are with him at the moment”

So they sat in the visitor’s room and held hands as Kay explained the details of his reawakening.

 

In Kay O’Neil’s eyes Jane was already one of the family and she was convinced that her being at her son’s bedside had definitely hastened his recovery.

Which was why Jane was the first person she contacted when Terry woke up.

 

“You can go back in now Mrs O’Neil” A doctor said

“Thanks Doctor” Kay said

“You’d better go in first” she said to Jane

“Me?” she replied

“Yes, I told him you were coming” Kay said

“Oh goodness” Jane said “I don’t know what to say”

“You say exactly what you’ve been saying dear” she replied and squeezed her hand.

 

Jane stood up and immediately had that queasy feeling again but Kay was still holding her hand and she gave it another encouraging squeeze and a warm smile and she felt fine.

 

As she approached his bed his eyes were closed so she sat in her normal chair and waited.

But she didn’t have to wait for long, however she was looking the other way at the time, and didn’t see his eyes open.

He focused on the figure in the chair and licked his lips before he spoke.

“Now I know what I have to do to get you to come and see me”

“Well text time just ask, you have my number” she said “And my heart”

 

The following months after her declaration were very difficult ones.

Apart from the cuts, bruises, broken bones and the loss of his leg, Terry’s greatest injury was the loss of his career as a police officer, and worst of all the recurring nightmare of watching the life ebb away from his partner Georgina.

 

In the plus column after 16 years of trying he had finally won Jane Cooper’s heart.

But he felt the greatest gain in his life was more a result of pity which he heaped on to the already considerable pile of self-pity he already felt.

However Jane Cooper was having no truck with that nonsense and after three weeks of listening to his self-indulgent whining she snapped.

It happened after he had just launched into one of his well-worn routines.

“It’s a shame you didn’t pay me as much attention before I was crippled” he whined

She had listened to the same old record play day after day and she said nothing but she was growing very tired of it, in fact she was very tired so when he started reciting it again she let him have it with both barrels.

“That’s quite enough of that rubbish” she barked stopping him mid flow

“Let me tell you something Terry O’Neil, I if were merely here out of pity I would at least be able to function in the world when I’m not here, and I can tell you that I most certainly am not.

Last week I put sugar in the cheese sauce, and salt in the meringue and I haven’t managed a successful soufflé for weeks.

These are simple task for me which I am capable of doing in my sleep, and I am consistently failing to complete them.

So don’t you lie there wallowing in a piteous mire and tell me I’m only here out of pity”

“But...” he began

“Be quiet I haven’t finished yet” She yelled

“I’ll tell you precisely what I do pity you for, and that is that you have chased me since I was eight years old with pigtails and now that you have me heart and soul you are pushing me away, for that I most heartily pity you”

And she picked up her coat and left and as she passed the visitors room Kay said

“Good girl”

“I’m sorry Kay” she said “I just lost my temper, I didn’t sleep well again last night”

“No need to apologise” Kay said “It’s just what the silly bugger needs”

Then Kay gave her a big hug and kissed her cheek

“You’re doing wonders with him, don’t give up”

“Ok” she said “I’ll just go and get some air”

 

When she stepped out of the lift and into the lobby she walked straight out the main entrance and filled her lungs with fresh air and as she slowly exhaled she received a text message.

She saw who it was from and opened it.

The message read;

“Sorry, T xx”

Jane put her phone away and did an about face and got back upstairs she and Terry had a good long talk.

 

“What was it like?” she asked him
“I don't remember that much really” Terry told her

“Not about the crash itself, it all happened so fast”

He remembered nothing about the accident other than being trapped waiting for the fire brigade to cut him free.

“You watched her die didn't you?”
“It was terrible watching her life just ebb away, I still have nightmares about it”
“Do you blame her?”
“I was always telling her that she drove too fast but she never
listened, so I suppose I do a little”

Jane just let him talk and listened

“But I feel guilty, because I survived and she didn't”

“Even though it was inevitable” he continued “it was always going to happen”

“What do you mean?” Jane asked

“She always took too many risks, I don’t think Georgina ever got over losing her husband”

Georgie’s husband, Danny had only gone out to get a bottle of wine to celebrate their two month wedding anniversary.

When he came out of the off license a fight had kicked off between some of the local winos and Danny tried to be the peace maker and got a knife if his kidney for his trouble.

He died before the paramedics reached him and Georgina’s world fell apart.

“I don’t think she cared if she lived or died” he concluded

 

Their long talk really cleared the air and during the following weeks, Terry made steady progress, his bruises had all but faded his bones had knitted so the physiotherapy could begin and the wound around his stump had completely healed so he was able to have his first fitting of his artificial leg.

He wasn’t looking forward to the session at all and he hadn’t kept his feelings to himself

“Stop making such a fuss” Jane said

“But it’s a big deal” he said

“Last year I saw a man in the Commonwealth games with no arms playing green bowls with his foot” she said

“And he won a medal”

“Are you going to bully me every time I don’t want to do something?”

“Yes probably”

“I think I preferred you when you didn’t want to go out with me” he said and stopped wheeling his chair

“Me too” she replied and carried on walking

“What if I end up with a peg leg like Long John Silver” he called after her

“Then I’ll buy you a parrot” she replied

“Very helpful”


He may have worried about getting a peg but what he got couldn’t have been further from it.

He loved it his prosthetic leg it had a natural foot action with a microprocessor controlling the movement making walking more efficient and reducing the risk of falls.

 

Although the physio began very gently and he thought it was going to be a breeze and then they built up and up until they were working him really hard.

When he was returned to his room after a particularly gruelling session he had to be helped into bed and he said to Jane

“Can I start to feel sorry for myself yet?”

But before she could answer he was asleep.

 

Jane couldn’t see him on Valentine’s Day because it was one of the busiest days of the year in the restaurant, but she did drive over to the Winston Churchill at the end of the night with a card for him, but he was asleep so she left it on his table and kissed his forehead.

As she drove home she reflected on their first Valentine’s Day together, in fact it was her first ever Valentine’s day on which she had a vested interest, and she deemed it something of an anti-climax, not that she was expecting anything much from him, but a card would have been nice.

“Never mind” she thought “there was always next year”

 

It was quite late when she got home and the house was in total darkness so she took off her coat and went straight up to her room.

Jane opened the door and switched on the light and she started to cry, and she stood stock still with tears rolling down her freckled cheeks.

In the middle of the bed were a large heart shaped box of handmade chocolates, from Crazy Chocolatiers in Abbottsford’s, her absolute favourites.

A huge bouquet of flowers and a cuddly stuffed bear wearing a chef’s hat and an apron with Jane embroidered on it.

And finally a valentines card, not in an envelope but in its own box.

“You didn’t forget” she said as she hugged the bear.

Jane lay in her bed cuddling the chef bear and she wondered what he would do for her birthday which was less than a week away.

 

Well she would never have guessed it but for her birthday Jane got the best present ever, Terry was discharged from hospital.

And on the day of his discharge, Jane had been to Mazzone’s in Childean and had her Auburn hair cut, washed and blow dried before she travelled over to the Winston Churchill with Kay to pick him up.

As he stepped outside for the first time the March wind blew through his black hair and he walked with a defiant look in his wild gypsy eyes as he walked arm in arm with his mum and Jane.

 

Later that day she got her real 25th Birthday present, Terry had bought her a gold charm bracelet, with charms that meant something to them both, amongst them was a heart, a teddy bear and a bowling ball.

He would be able to add more for each future special day.

 

Terry was so pleased to be back home but he was confined to barracks so to speak but with having him next door it meant she didn’t have to do all the travelling to see him so it meant she could actually spend more time with him.

 

He still had to do physiotherapy three times a week but he was able to do that at the Shallowfield surgery.

Alma Fuentes was a tiny Spanish woman who looked like a breath of wind would blow her a way but Terry found out looks could be very deceptive as she was quite brutal.

 

In addition to the physio he had to go back to the hospital once a month just to check on his prosthetic and more importantly his stump.

But after three months he was completely discharged and only had to go back once a year.

 

By the time Easter came around Terry O’Neil was no longer a serving police officer.

He could have stayed on in an admin role, shuffling paperwork, or data entry, but that wasn’t why he joined the police in the first place, so instead he took a medical discharge.

This was problematic, firstly as it left him unemployed and secondly he had absolutely no idea what he wanted to do.

The police service was his dream and that dream was over.    


On the first weekend in May it was open house as usual for Lynn Cooper’s birthday and everyone on the lake was there, well almost everyone.

There were two notable exceptions because while everyone was enjoying the food, drink and warm sunshine Jane and Terry were next door in Lakeside Villa, in his room making love for the first time.

When they eventually arrived at the party it was with a gleam in their eyes and a spring in their step.

It may have been the first time but it certainly wasn’t the last and they would have spent the entire summer in that regard had fate not taken a hand.

 

It was when Jane was working at the Brown Windsor, a month later.

It was Saturday night and it had been a full house.

Mark Roscoe the owner and manager, a pleasant personable man around 40 years old, who carried the evidence of his over indulgence around his middle.

He was in great form that night and was a natural with the customers.

Jane would have been on her own had she not have been able to draught in Emily Goff to help her.

The reason for that was that the Chef de cuisine had quit the week before.

Her sisters, Kath and Karen waited tables and by the end of the night they were all totally shattered.

And it was just after that, when mine host, Mark Roscoe, had a heart attack and collapsed.

Fortunately for Mark, one of the last customers out the door was Dr Andrews, who was dining with her film director fiancée Peter Lutchford.

It was Kath who witnessed the collapse and immediately dispatched Karen to fetch the doctor back.

“Jane! Jane!” Kath called “Come quick”

Jane came bursting through the kitchen door wielding a large frying pan expecting to confront a robber only to find her boss on his back and her sister performing CPR on him.

“Phone an ambulance” Kath said.

Jane dropped the pan and picked up the phone.

 

Karen came back through the door panting hard, with Claire close behind her panting even harder.

“The Ambulance is on its way” Jane said as she crouched down besides Kath.

 

They all stood in the street outside the restaurant and watched as the ambulance drove away and Jane had the distinct impression that Mark Roscoe’s restaurant management days were over.

 

The Cooper girls ran the Brown Windsor for the next couple of months, initially while Mark was in hospital and then while he convalesced at his sisters in Millmoor.

They didn’t realise until he wasn’t there just how much he did so Jane and her sisters were kept very busy.

 

As Jane was so busy with the Brown Windsor and he was at a loose end Terry started to help out in the restaurant as well.

This was originally motivated purely by selfishness as he wouldn’t have seen very much of Jane if he hadn’t but as the weeks passed he found he was actually enjoying it.

When he first suggested it to Jane her reaction was a little derisory.

“You don’t know anything about working in a restaurant and I’ve seen you in a kitchen remember”

She was referring to when they used to do food tech together at school.

Even the teacher despaired of his efforts and in one school report, wrote,

“Never have I seen a pupil less suited to the subject”

Harsh but true, after all he only signed up for the subject because it was her passion and she was his.

“There are things I can do that don’t require culinary skills” he said

“And I can smooze the customers”

“You can’t even say schmooze” she said and laughed “But you are cute”

 

On July the first Terry was officially unemployed and for all he knew unemployable.

He had only been in the police about 3 and a half years when he was involved in the car accident that ended his career and took his leg.

So although he survived he was invalided out of the service

He got a lump sum on his discharge followed by an even larger sum in compensation and there was even a small reward from the insurance company for the recovery of the stolen jewellery.

He donated the insurance money to the Police benevolent fund.

It was August the twelfth, also known as the glorious 12th, and was the beginning of the Grouse shooting season, so Jane had Grouse on the menu and as a result they were fully booked.

It was also the day, after the lunch time serving was over, that Mark Roscoe decided to drop in to see them.

He had lost a lot of weight and skin hung loosely at his neck and his skin was ashen.

As he sat at one of the tables he made an announcement.

As he wasn’t staff, Terry listened from behind the kitchen door.

“I wanted to catch you while you were all together and give you the news” he said slowly having to pause to catch his breath.

“I have decided to sell the Restaurant”

 

It was obvious to them all that he was gravely ill and it would be a very long road to recovery if he was to complete the journey.

His plan was to sell up and move in with his sister in Millmoor and he planned to sell the restaurant as a going concern so he hoped their jobs would be safe but he couldn’t promise that they would be.

 

That afternoon as Jane and Terry walked home in silence, they paused and took a seat by the lake and sat gazing out across the water.

It was Jane who broke the silence

“Well it looks like we’re both unemployed now”

“Not necessarily” Terry responded

“The new owners will want to do thing their way, and with staff of their choice” she said “With a chef of their choice”

“That’s not what I meant” Terry said

“What then?” she asked

“You’ve always wanted your own restaurant, why don’t you make him an offer?” Terry suggested

“I already spoke to him” she said “I can’t afford it”

“How much is he looking for?” he asked

“Twice as much as I have” Jane said

“But not twice as much as WE have” he said

“What?” she said

“I just happen to have a lump sum burning a hole in my pocket, and I’m looking for an investment opportunity” he said

“Don’t tease me Terry” she said crossly “it’s not funny”

“I wasn’t teasing” he said seriously “I’m serious”

“You are?”

“I’ve really enjoyed working at the restaurant and working with you” he continued “and I think we work well together”

“Yes I know but…” she began 

“No buts” he said cutting her off “we could really make a go of it, this could be our chance”

“Are you sure?” Jane asked clearly not

“I am” he replied “But you have to be as well, so you need to think it through”

He stood up and took her hand and pulled her to her feet.

“So I prescribe a long hot bath, scented candles and soothing music” he said “and whatever you decide I will support”

“And what will you be doing while I’m soaking and thinking?” she asked

“I’m going home to soak my foot” he said and she laughed

 

Jane took his advice and had a long hot bath with scented candles and soothing music and it did clear her mind.

But she also spoke to her mum and dad and Granddad Harry and her sisters.

The decision was unanimous.

 

As she lay on her bed wrapped in towels cuddling her teddy bear chef she phoned Terry who was indeed soaking his foot.

When he answered the phone she said

“I’m in”

“Great” he said

“I’ll be around in ten minutes to seal the deal” she said

“Does that mean we’re going to shake on it?” he asked

“Something like that” Jane replied

 

So taking advantage of an empty house they sealed their partnership.

Then they had to get a wriggle on and get back to the restaurant to start the prep for the evening service.

 

The next morning they phone Mark and made him an offer, which was just under his asking price which he accepted without hesitation.

Her first act as joint proprietor was to employ Emily Goff, who helped her with her home dining bookings, as her full time under chef.

 

The Brown Windsor closed on the Friday before the August Bank Holiday and reopened on the 1st of September as The Phoenix.


MEMORIES ON A GREY AFTERNOON

 

I sat in my comfortable chair

Looking out at the greyness

Comfortable and warm

And my thoughts strayed to distant days

And i began to reflect

I had reached a point in my life

Where there was more behind me

Than there was to come

And i looked back on a life

Stretching back across the decades

To simpler times and people

With simpler hopes dreams and aspirations

And I am drawn to the dustiest reaches of the attic

In search of half forgotten memories

In half forgotten boxes

Hidden in the dark and dingy recesses

Of a seldom visited place

Rummaging amidst the dusty flotsam

Accumulated after a long life

They sit untidy and disarranged

As the cobweb covered corners of my mind

Behind the old discarded toys

No longer cool in this electronic age

An old gramophone, a sewing machine

An old rocking chair and pictures long out of fashion

And countless hatboxes

My search is rewarded when I find a box

Beneath the thickest covering of dust

And open it with bated breath

To reveal the accumulated papers of my life

Cards, programs, tickets, souvenirs,

Snapshots of lost moments

And items once too precious to part with

On top football programs

My first England game when we beat Hungary 4 – 1

And Tony Curry scored from outside the box

Assorted United games home and away

The FA cup final when we lost to Arsenal in the last minute

Then my eyes were drawn to a white box

The sort that special greetings card came in

It was immediately familiar

Reminding me of first love

Carefully boxed and kept

The love letters from Janice

Scented with cheap perfume

Full of young girls chatter

About favourite pop groups and fashions

And the days “must haves”

Talk of adolescent love and longing

Kept in the same box fondly remembered

The perfume still evocative

Though faded like the memory

But I could see her pretty face

Framed with fine brown hair

Bobbed so it kissed her neck as she moved

Her developing figure that hinted at what would be

Her gentle laugh that made you turn your eyes to her

The soft delicate hands that felt so good in mine

That first kiss that lingered on my lips

Long after we parted

I wonder how her life went

What kind of woman did she become

Did her aspirations bear fruit?

Or did she muddle through the years like all of us

Best not to know probably

The truth might diminish the memory

Of sweet young Janice

I set the box aside and rummage deeper

I come to another box and look inside

It’s full of photos of long forgotten friends

And souvenirs of a day trip to France

When we had to carry John back to the boat

I laughed to myself

Beneath that box was a party invitation

The party where I first met Fiona

A beautiful girl in a woman’s body

Who chose me despite a host of suitors

And we danced into the night

Her firm body pressed against mine

Arms clinging tightly to me

Her breath against my neck

In full view of envious eyes

And later in passionate embrace

Just the two of us in the darkness

I paused briefly at the memory and sighed

Then delved deeper into the box

Where Beneath the invitation was an envelope

I opened it tipping out its contents

Half a dozen photos and a Wimbledon program

Fell into my lap, I turned over the top photo

And Yvonne’s sweet face

Smiled at me from a discoloured print

I recalled the day instantly

It was at Wimbledon long long ago

She had begged me to take her

I liked tennis but I liked her more so I agreed

Suddenly I could smell her

And hear the infectious little giggle

And feel her touch on my skin

Her lips on mine

The memory of the day was so vivid

And of the days of unbridled passion that followed

When the wonders of her soft body

Were yielded to me

Then I put everything back into the box

And left the dusty confines of the attic

I returned to my armchair

And continued in my reflection

My searching had left me feeling both happy and sad

Happy at the rekindled memories

Sad because they were only that

Happy to have experienced them

And sad because I would never again

IF YOU WERE A STAR

 

If you were a star you’d be the brightest

If you were a mood you’d be the lightest

If you were a pop song you’d be number one

If you were the weather you’d be the sun

If you were a drink you’d be bucks fizz

You are the best you are the bizz

SEE EMILY PLAY

 

It is said that Beauty

Is in its beholders eye

Then surely in Emily’s case

Our vision must be singular

Any man with a heartbeat

Must see as I

In order not to mislead

I should state that Emily

Is not on the cover of vogue

She is no airbrushed goddess

She is a normal girl

Perhaps even ordinary

But she is beautiful all the same

She does not see it

In her self effacing way

She sees only her flaws

But in my eyes

Her beauty is enhanced

By her imperfections

And not diminished by them

She is not a perfect beauty

And so to me she is perfection

She see’s many imperfections

But I don’t see any

For example her hair

Which Emily wears long

Is straight and is of that

Undignified shade of mousy

Her ears are small, almost delicate

But they do protrude

Allowing her to hook her hair

Behind them effortlessly

Emily’s nose is a little Aquiline

But cute all the same

Her eyes are a startling pale green

And quite hypnotic

They are punctuated

With thick eyebrows

In the Brooke Shields style

Her lips are full, without a pout

And the corners turn up

Cutely innocent

The colour is pink

At its darkest hue

But all of this is merely,

Window dressing

I look at her in awe

Such is her loveliness

But the secret to her beauty

Is that she is natural

On the day I first met her

On that summers day

When her mouth opened

And those full pink lips

Turned into a smile

They illuminated the room

Her face seemed to radiate

A light so divine

And her countenance

Was at once angelic

And at that very moment

Emily captured my heart

I stood open mouthed

Staring at this goddess

Then when see noticed me

Her cheeks discoloured

To a shade of claret wine

And I knew cupid had struck

Two hearts pierced by a single arrow

Pretty In Pink

 

My name is Gary Devonshire and I first met Emma Lillis at the Intercontinental Hotel in East Berlin in 1973, or more precisely outside the hotel.

I was then and still am a writer by profession, a sportswriter to be precise, and my reason for being in East Germany was the World Cup.

It was being held in West Germany the following year and the East German team had qualified for the finals.

Furthermore they would end up being drawn in the same group as their western cousins and would actually go on to win the group.

We didn’t know any of that at the time of course.

And we didn’t know very much about them either.

So I had applied for and been granted a 12 week visa to experience East German football at first hand, and follow some of their star players in their domestic league.

But on the day I met Emma my twelve weeks were up and I was going to cross into West Berlin later that afternoon.

I was wearing my last but one clean shirt, the hotel had managed to lose three and over starch a fourth rendering it unwearable.

Still I would be back in the West soon and KaDeWe would sort me out, it was my favourite department store in the whole of Europe. 

 

I was outside the hotel looking up at the slate grey autumn sky and thinking to myself about my time there.

East Germany was often grey and drab like their weather but its football and its people’s appreciation of it was rainbow coloured.

I was even sorry to be leaving, though I wouldn't be sorry to lose my secret police escort who had followed me everywhere but despite their intrusive attentions I had enjoyed my stay and the football.

All of this was going through my head when she bumped into me.

The girl I would come to know, as Emma was dressed from head to toe in dull autumn colours and looked as drab and gloomy as our surroundings.

And her countenance was equally gloomy as she said without expression

“Sorry”

“No reason to apologize” I said as I stooped down to pick up her bag.

“My fault entirely”

“Thank you” she said and smiled, and the effect of the smile on her smile was like the sun had come out on a dreary day, such was the difference before she then went quickly on her way.

 

Later that day I crossed over the boarder at Checkpoint Charlie.

I took a cab to the checkpoint and then crossed on foot.

At the barrier a sour faced border guard with a machine gun barked at me

“Passport”

I held it out to him.

“Show me page one,” he demanded

I duly obliged

“I said show me page one mister” he yelled and pointed his gun at me

I looked at the page I’d opened it to and showed it to him again, open at the same page.

And this time he waved me through apparently my bit of intimidation was over.

Once I had crossed into West Berlin I got another cab and I was instantly struck by the stark contrast as the cab drove me through the vibrant and colourful city on the way to the Ritz-Carlton.

It was at the Hotel where I saw Emma for the second time.

I was just finishing my breakfast the next morning when she walked in still dressed in Autumnal hues again and sporting a winter expression to go with it.

She didn’t notice me however she was too busy staring at her feet as she walked behind an older couple and seemed to me she was trying not to be noticed.

The group proceeded to their table in convoy led by a rather imposing woman in her late 50s, quite elegant with a regal stature who was immaculately dressed.

Behind her was a slightly younger man of military bearing except when he was fawning over the woman.

And then came the girl, twenty something I ascertained, I presumed her to be the daughter of the couple although there was no warmth between them.

My journalistic eye was denied the opportunity to analyse the threesome any longer by the arrival in reception of a friend from the Berlin news bureaux.

 

Samuel Krzeminski and I had been friends since University and we always got together for lunch whenever we found ourselves in the same city.

But our friendship went deeper than that I was also best man at Sam and Trudy’s wedding and their eldest child, Otto, was my godson.

We would doubtless see quite a lot of each other in the coming year as the Olympic Stadium in West Berlin was one of the venues for the 74 World Cup.

Which is where we were headed that morning as we had a tour arranged at the Olympic Stadium and the new facilities before lunch.

That evening I was having dinner at their Spandau home but lunch was catching up time for Sam and me.

Afterwards I went to my favourite department store, The Kaufhaus des Westens, which translates into English as "Department Store of the West", usually abbreviated to KaDeWe.

 

Which was where I saw Emma Lillis for the third time. 

I had just bought myself some new shirts and was looking for a new coat to go with them when we had our second collision in as many days.

“Sorry, sorry” she said

“It was my fault,” I said and I was once again stooping down to pick up her bag.

“I wasn’t looking where I was going”

This time however she stooped down as well, as the contents of her bag had spilled onto the floor and she blushed deeply as she scooped her brightly coloured silky items back into her bag.

“Are you ok?” I asked

“Yes thank you” she said and gave me a brief smile, which was when I realised it was she.

“This is the second time I’ve crashed into you,” I said

“Let me buy you a tea or a coffee as recompense”

“There’s really no need,” she said as she got to her feet.

“I insist” I said and steered her towards the lift

“I’m Gary by the way”

“Emma” she said meekly


We sat in the café and gave our order to the waitress.

“It’s very strange how we keep bumping into each other,” I said

“Don’t you think so?”

She just stared at some imagined imperfection on the tablecloth

“Well I think three times in two days is noteworthy” I persisted

“Three?” she said lifting her eyes for the tablecloth for the first time

“Yes breakfast this morning at the Ritz,” I elaborated

“Are you staying there?” she asked

“Yes” I replied

“Was that your parents that I saw you with?”

“Yes and no” she answered intriguingly

“Oh I see,” I said, “so the immaculately dressed tour de force is?”

“My mother” she replied with a smile “Donna Lillis-Prillman, I like to call her Belladonna because she really is quite poisonous”

“And the military type? The fawning sycophant?” I asked and she laughed

“My Stepfather, Martin Prillmann” she replied

Just then the drinks and pastries arrived so there was a break in the conversation

“What took you to the East?” I asked

“A funeral, one of Martins uncles” she replied, “He is one of the Prussian aristocracy, a minor one and totally impoverished however which is why he married my mother”

“She isn’t impoverished then?” I asked 

“God no she’s filthy rich” she replied “but she’s a snob, and a minor aristocracy is better than no aristocracy at all”

“I see” I responded “Hence the Ritz”

She nodded

“So where do you live when you’re not ensconced in luxury hotels?”

I asked

“Well our house is in London but we are hardly ever there” Emma replied

“I like travelling though”

“But?” I said

“But, I wish I could do it without being under Belladonnas watchful eye” she said

“Why don’t you then?” I asked

“Mummy dear controls the purse strings and I only get a small allowance, so I am totally dependent on her” she replied bitterly

“You’re obviously not happy about it,” I said

“That’s because I’m 27 years old and I’m still getting pocket money from my mother” she said

She was on the verge of tears so I chose a different tack.

“What about your father? Your real father”

“He died when I was 15” she replied

“I’m sorry,” I said

“Its fine” she said brightly “What about you, how come you are staying at the Ritz?”

“Just a treat I’m afraid, I don’t normally ride quite so high on the hog” I said

She looked at me in a way that urged me to say more so I elaborated

“I’ve been working in East Germany for three months and such deprivations deserved a reward”

“What were you doing over there? Are you a spy?” she asked and laughed

“No I’m not a spy, I’m a sportswriter” I replied

“Really?” she asked brightly “Would I know you?”

“You might” I replied

 “A sportswriter named Gary” she mused

“Hang on are you Gary Devonshire?” she asked

“Yes I am” I said surprised she knew my work

“I’ve read your reports,” she said, “So what have you been working on? Something related to the World Cup I bet”

“Spot on, I’m impressed” I replied

We then spent a very pleasant hour discussing sports of every type.

I have to admit that the scared little mouse I had bumped into took on an entirely different persona when she spoke, with a great depth of knowledge, on sport.

She was still in full flow when she glanced at the clock and announced that she had to go.

“I didn’t realise it was so late” she said, “Mother will be miffed”

“I’m sorry I kept you so late” I said

“Don’t be, I rarely get to discuss football with anyone other than taxi drivers” she said

“If you’re going back to the Ritz we could share a cab”

“That would be great,” I agreed and we were able to continue our discussion on the journey.

When we arrived at the Hotel the Titan was seated in reception

“Ooops” Emma said and pulled a face

“Sorry again” I said

“It’s ok, it was nice talking to you” she said and walked over to where her mother was waiting

“You’re late” Belladonna said

“Sorry I lost track of the time” Emma said

“Apparently so” her mother said a gave me a withering look


When I went to the desk to retrieve my key I found a message waiting for me to say that the meal with Sam and Trudy was cancelled, as their youngest child Sebastian was ill.

Although we would do it the following night instead it meant I was then at a loose end that evening.

I decided to have a word with Max, the concierge, to see if he could get me ticket for something, anything, for that evening.

He came back to me an hour later, with two tickets for Herta Berlins match at the Olympic stadium against Hannover 96. 

Unfortunately he had misunderstood, I only wanted one ticket but he had scalped me a pair.

I paid him the money and just hoped it would be worth it.

 

Before I went to the match I decided to get a beer in the hotel bar first.

In the end I had two and as I sat at the bar I noticed the formidable Mrs Lillis-Prillman and her lapdog crossing the foyer in all their finery and I started to wonder where Emma was.

I was a hard bitten thirty five year old sports hack who had managed to stay single into middle age, though in truth it hadn’t always been by design, but I shouldn’t have cared tu’ppence.

But it was funny that since I had bumped into Emma for the third time that afternoon how I found myself wishing to bump into her again. 

And as I left the bar after finishing my third drink I got my wish.

“Oh hello” she said

“Emma!” I exclaimed “I was just thinking about you”

“Oh?” she said and blushed

“Yes I just saw her ladyship and her lackey leave the hotel and I wondered why you weren’t with them” I said

“They’ve gone to an Embassy reception” she replied “not really my cup of tea”

“In which case I think I have something that might be” I said

“Really?” she asked intrigued

“Yes I’m off to the Olympic Stadium” I began “Herta are playing…”

“Hannover” she responded

“Correct” I said slightly patronizingly

“And I have a spare ticket”

To my surprise she didn’t respond to my unspoken invitation but I left the silence unfilled for a minute before I said

“So would you like to come?”

“Me?” she asked like she’d never been invited anywhere in her life

“Really?”

“Yes you” I reiterated

“I’d love to” she said “have I got time to change?”

   

I waited in reception for about 10 minutes while she changed into something more suitable for an October evening in Berlin.

As I watched her exit the lifts and cross the foyer I was struck by two things, firstly how much more strident and confident she was when not in her mother’s wake, her brown hair bouncing in unison with her purposeful step.

And secondly how attractive she was.

I had briefly noticed her pretty smile on our first meeting but that was very fleeting   

Now I had a chance to look at the girl and not the drab little mouse.

Emma also appeared to be taller than she was before as she wasn’t hunched over staring at her feet.

Her clothing however was still autumnal as before, she was wearing a long drab coloured skirt, knee high boots and a long leather coat, brown.  

I knew she liked colour, I had seen the evidence spill from her bag in KaDeWe.

But she still managed to look pretty despite the drabness.

As she got closer she saw be looking and her freckled face blushed but she still managed a smile.


Max the concierge hailed us a cab and we got in.

“I’ve never been to a Bundesliga game before” she announce as the cab pulled off. “I’m quite excited”

“I’m afraid they’re only standing tickets,” I confessed hoping it wouldn’t curb her enthusiasm.

“What on the terraces?” she asked

“I’m afraid so” I admitted

“Even better” she squealed “Thank you so much for bringing me”

“You don’t mind then?” I asked

“Not at all, normally if I’m lucky enough to go to sports events we’re in the Directors box or sitting in the posh seats with people who know nothing about what they’re watching” She said

“I’m going to be on the terraces with the real fans”

“I know what you mean” I said “I’m normally in the press box with a bunch of cynical old hacks, who have no passion for what they’re watching”

“This is as close as I can get” the driver said

“No problem” I said and paid the fare

 

Once on the pavement I said to Emma

“We’ll have to walk from here”

“Great, we can soak up the atmosphere” she said brightly and meant it.

 

At the end of a thrilling match Herta were victorious, winning 4-2.

“That was brilliant” Emma shouted enthusiastically almost hoarse.

We were being guided along the street by a group of Herta fans we had met on the terraces to their favourite bar to celebrate the victory with their new friends namely us.

We went in for one and stayed for three and were both feeling a little light headed when we left as neither of us had eaten.

That was soon remedied when we found a little Hungarian restaurant only a little way along from the bar.

 

After our welcome satisfying repast we hailed a taxi for the ride back to the Ritz.

It was quite late by then and the journey passed relatively quietly as we began to feel the effects of the football, beer and goulash; it was a comfortable silence however.

Once back at the Ritz we picked up our keys from reception and rode up in the lift together, still in relative quiet.

We reached her floor first and being a gentleman I delivered her to her door.

“Well here we are milady, I have delivered you safely to your door” I said with a bow

“Thank you kind sir” she replied and performed an ungraceful curtsy

“Seriously though, thank you so much again” she said “I had a great time”

“No need for thanks, you were excellent company” I responded

“Which reminds me I’m having dinner in Spandau tomorrow night with friends and I wondered if you would like to join me? Although it won’t match the excitement of tonight’s game I can promise it will be enjoyable”

And before I could add anything else her mouth was on mine, which I took to mean yes to dinner and judging by what followed she had clearly gotten her second wind.


The next morning, while Emma showered, I was dressing myself from the discarded items of clothing from the floor in her room when I spied her underwear underneath a chair; I had only briefly glimpsed them the night before as I hurriedly removed them from her lower portions.

They were a warm shade of deep pink with contrasting bows of pale pink ribbon and looking at them aroused me.

I don’t know why I was aroused, as we had only made love half an hour earlier.

I could hear her in the bathroom as my gaze was fixed on her knickers, which were of a hue that was in such stark contrast to her drab outer garments, she really was pretty in pink.

Just as she came out of the bathroom wrapped in white towels I said

“Show me what you’ll be wearing today”

“Ok” she said as a look of confusion spread across her face and she walked over to her wardrobe and took out two items

 “I’m going to wear my beige top and a russet coloured skirt,” Emma said

“That’s not what I meant,” I said

“I don’t understand,” she said looking even more confused

“Show me what you will be wearing, underneath,” I explained

“Oh” she said and was no longer confused

“Now do you understand?” I asked

“Yes” she said

“So?” I pressed

“I’m not saying” Emma said adamantly

“Why not? I asked

“Its private, personal” she said coyly

“We made love twice last night and again this morning” I said “it doesn’t get more personal than that”

“I know” she responded and blushed “but that was different”

“Was it?”

“Yes” she said in a tone that seemed to draw a line on the conversation but then she asked

“Why do you want to know?”

“Well when I see you walk into breakfast with your overbearing mother, Bella Donna and her Prussian ponce of a husband, I want to be the only one in the room, other than you, to know what you are wearing against your precious skin beneath your russet skirt”

I explained

“But more importantly I want to know, so I can picture them with perfect clarity as I look forward to taking them off you later”

“Are you going to take them off me later?” she asked quietly

“I would very much like to” I confessed

Without hesitation Emma walked over to her chest of drawers and pulled the top one open

“Then I will be wearing these,” she said holding up a pair of scarlet silk panties.

 

At breakfast I was in the dining room before Emma arrived and positioned myself at a table where I could observe her and be observed by her.

As previously the group proceeded to their table in convoy led by the imposing Mrs Lillis-Prillman, “Belladonna” following closely bbehind her was her sycophantic husband Martin Prillmann and bringing up the rear came Emma but not stooped over and staring at her shoes as she had the day before.

She walked in straight backed and smiling broadly.

She was trying not to make eye contact with me, but couldn’t resist and she blushed redder than the scarlet silk panties she was wearing.  

Her mother noticed the smiles that passed between us and gave me a disapproving look.


That afternoon when I did indeed remove her scarlet knickers it would have driven Donna to distraction.

She would definitely have disapproved if she’d seen me undressing her daughter in my room that afternoon and again that night in Emma’s where I liberated her from a pink lace pair after we had dined in Spandau at Sam and Trudy’s.

 

The next day after breakfast I was summoned to Donna’s suite, I was of a mind to disappoint her and I told Emma as much but to my surprise she urged me to meet her.

I knocked on the door and after a moment it was opened by the sycophant who with typical Prussian arrogance silently looked me up and down.

“I was summoned,” I said and he stepped aside to let me in.

Donna was seated at her desk with her back to me and without turning around she said brusquely.

“You may sit”

“You’re too kind” I said factiously

“You’ll do well not to adopt an attitude with me Mr Devonshire”

She said still with her back to me

“I don’t think I need a lesson in manners from someone who doesn’t even have the courtesy to look at the person they are addressing” I said annoyed at myself for losing my temper but it did have the desired effect as she turned around to face me.

“I am superior to you in every conceivable way Mr Devonshire and I therefore have no need to show you anything other than contempt” she said 

“Is that the only reason you summoned me? To tell me how superior you are”

I said and stood up

“I summoned you to tell you to stay away from my daughter,” she said without expression

“Well you’ve told me” I said and walked towards the door

“Don’t go without what you came here for,” she said

“This should satisfy you” she added and held out a cheque

I took it from her and she smiled an ugly grimace, then I tore it up and threw the pieces at her.

“That was my only offer,” she said, “and you never see a penny of Emma’s money”

“I’m not interested in your daughter’s money” I said angrily “I work for a living”

I left the room slamming the door behind me; I was so angry that I stormed out of the hotel and was gone for an hour.

When I returned I found Emma waiting anxiously in reception and it was apparent she had been crying and she was on the verge of crying again so I took her in my arms. 

When we saw her mother exit the lift and start walking towards us we ran out of the door and jumped into a cab. 

We drove around the city for about half an hour before we finally alighted at the Europa Centre and spent an hour in the Irish pub and stared at the water clock as we made our plans for the future.

 

These plans involved to a large degree my friends Sam and Trudy.

We had decided not to return to the Ritz but I needed to check out of the hotel and Emma needed some of her clothes and some items of sentimental value.


We stayed at a small Guesthouse on the edge of the Turkish quarter that night and the next day arranged to meet Emma’s mother and stepfather at midday at Berlin Zoo.

While they were out of the hotel Trudy bluffed her way into Emma’s room and packed her an overnight bag, comprising mainly of the contents of her underwear draw and jewellery box and of course her passport. 

Meanwhile Sam had settled my bill and collected my things from my room.

Emma went into the zoo but remained out of sight and kept Donna and Martin in view while I waited by a pay phone at the entrance.

I looked at my watch and was beginning to get anxious and then the phone rang

“Ja!” I said and I still don’t know why I said it in German, but I did.

“Mission accomplished” Sam said

“Really?” I said

“Yes” Sam confirmed, “Now get your ass over to Tegel”

“Ok, see you soon” I said and hung up

I paid for my ticket and went in to find Emma which wasn’t difficult as she was a rubbish spy, I found her wearing a floppy hat and hiding in the gift shop.

She was staring out the window and giggling, as she watched her mother and stepfather arguing. 

I crept up behind her and goosed her and she let out a yelp, so loud there was a very real danger her quarry may have heard so I took her hand and we ran for the gate as if the devil was on our heels and jumped into the first cab we found.

 

We reached Tegel airport and met up with Sam and Trudy.

When hugs and handshakes had been shared I said

“We will never forget this”

“It’s a pleasure” Trudy said, “I was beginning to think you would never fall in love”

“Well it’s happened,” I said

“You didn’t tell me that” Emma said and punched me

“It’s been a busy day” I said feebly and kissed her

“Here are your tickets” Sam said, “Now get a move on”

We said our goodbyes at the gate and flew to London.

 

Once in London Emma took me to the family home in Mayfair and we spent the night there, making love in her mother’s bed.

Early next morning Emma packed a suitcase and we took a taxi first to Fleet Street where I submitted my piece on East German football to the editor at the Times and then onto my flat in Isleworth where I packed a case of my own.

From there we took a plane to New York and my next assignment on American Football.

Emma loved it, we got to travel around America, from motel to motel watching all kinds of sport, it wasn’t the kind of accommodation she was used to but if she was unhappy about it she never mentioned it or complained about it.

Her knowledge of sport was quite astounding, and I don’t mean for a woman either, and apart from the fact I was in love with her she was also invaluable to me as an editor, a critic and a sounding board.

She also managed our finances, and kept us solvent.

Our American journey came to an end with Super Bowl VIII on January 13, 1974 at Rice Stadium in Houston, Texas when the Miami Dolphins defeated the Minnesota Vikings 24–7. To win their second consecutive Super Bowl, and I proposed to Emma.

 

On the back of my Times piece on East German Football and my work on American Football and Soccer in America I was offered a job by the New York Times to cover the 1974 World Cup and as it meant our having to be in Berlin for some of the group matches we got married while we were there, with Sam and Trudy in attendance obviously.

Donna was invited but she declined, she never forgave her daughter for disobeying her wishes and Emma never forgave Donna for not being at her daughter’s wedding.

 

Over the years Emma travelled with me around the world from event to event, World Cups, Olympics, Commonwealth Games, Rugby, Cricket and Horse Racing and we are still together and you know what, she’s still pretty in pink.