Wednesday, 8 September 2021

ALL OF MY LIFE

 

All of my life

I have had no talent

Hidden or on show

No gift or endowment

No skill or mastery

No bent or flair

Ability or forte

Nothing to mark me out

From the common herd

Or stand me out from the crowd

All of my life

I have been ordinary

Mediocre and average

Quite mundane and everyday

No hint of genius

Expert only in my ordinariness

But content in my mediocrity

All of my life

I have been un-ambitious

No goals to be achieved

Not driven by desire

In any shape or form

Some might say shiftless

I would say satisfied

Happy with my lot

All of my life

I lived a half life

Until my outlook changed

When I saw you smile

And heard you speak my name

I was born again

With new purpose

A new vocation

To shed my mediocrity

And cast it aside

Like a well used coat

And dig deep within myself

To find that dying ember of desire

That almost imperceptible spark

So clearly visible to you

And breathe life into it

Until white hot

And then fan the flames of passion

You have ignited in me

All the rest of my life

Endowed with your gift

I will feel extraordinary

And with my new found ambition

My one and only goal

The soul purpose of my being

Is to make you truly happy

As happy as you have made me

And with all my heart and soul

I will dedicate myself

To always loving you

Tuesday, 7 September 2021

Those Memories Made on Teardrop Lake – (71) The Solicitor’s Receptionist

 

Phil Marlow woke up exceptionally early and was exceptionally grumpy, which was quite unusual for him, but on this particular morning he was too grumpy for words and he wanted to cheer himself up at the earliest opportunity.

And the reason for his grumpiness was the firm of Shallowfield Solicitors, Pangbourne, Parker and Knowles, or more precisely Catherine Kimber the receptionist thereof.

 

His dealings at the Solicitors were concerning the settling of his late father’s estate which turned out to be quite protracted.

The particular Solicitor he was involved with was Linda Baxter, an attractive woman, tall and slender in her early thirties who wore a tailored business suit and spectacles, and she spoke in posh plummy tones, and had a sexy way of peering over the top of her spectacles which was very alluring.

But as attractive, glamorous, and alluring as she was with her posh voice and magnificent long legs she was way out of his league so he didn’t find her a distraction.

However Phil was on a mission to find a significant other to settle down with once his father’s affairs had been settled and he rather liked the look of the receptionist.

 

On his first visit he gazed lustily down her top at the quite pleasing vista restrained in a pink satin bra, which was a delightful surprise because her outer garments were very unremarkable, and when she realized he was staring down her top she quickly covered herself up and let out a rather disgusted exclamation, but then she smiled at him and blushed.

He may have thought her a straight laced prude, but he liked that, it had always turned him on, partly because of the challenge but more often than not because they turned out to be less straight laced beneath the façade.

So he returned her smile and asked

“Do you have anything with the address and phone number on?”

“Oh yes” she replied eagerly “I could give you one of my cards”

“Thank you….”

Catherine” she said “Catherine Kimber

“Thank you Catherine

He wasn’t sure if he would ever call her but he had learned to keep his options open.

Phil thought that with regular visits to the offices he would get numerous opportunities to speak with her, but alas no.

And that was why he was grumpy because he had concluded his business with Pangbourne, Parker and Knowles, and he hadn’t asked her and nor had he phoned her.

 

So with the day beginning grumpily, he needed to find the courage to pick up the phone.

There were a number of local girls who had made it perfectly clear that they were willing and able but they weren’t really his type whatever that meant, but they were too pushy for his liking.

Even busty Belinda the gardener, who he had inherited so to speak from his father had given him the green light.

He had even considered going for the soft option of asking his ex-girlfriend Jenna Stimson out, things weren’t so bad with her, she was very nice, he could do a lot worse, and she didn’t want to break up in the first place.

So he took his phone from his pocket and was about to dial her number when he exclaimed

“What the hell are you doing? Her favourite colour is beige”

So without over thinking it he phoned the Solicitors

“Pangbourne, Parker and Knowles”

“Hello Catherine” he said “it’s Phil Marlow”

 

He had considered going for the soft option of asking his ex-girlfriend Jenna Stimson out, things weren’t so bad with her, she was very nice, he could do a lot worse, and she didn’t want to break up in the first place.

So he took his phone from his pocket and was about to dial her number when he exclaimed

“What the hell are you doing? Her favourite colour is beige”

So without over thinking it he phoned the Solicitors

“Pangbourne, Parker and Knowles”

“Hello Catherine” he said “it’s Phil Marlow”

 

When he reached the building he went upstairs and stopped at the receptionist’s desk, which was deserted, and so he waited.

It was quite late in the day, late enough that almost everyone had left for the day.

He wasn’t there more than a few minutes before the cute blonde receptionist appeared surrounded by a cloud of freshly applied perfume.

Although in truth Phil was more interested in her rather than the perfume that surrounded her, but it was very pleasant nonetheless.

“Hello, you look lovely” he said and moved in for a kiss which he fully expected to be one of those air kiss affairs but Catherine had other ideas.

She planted a kiss straight on his lips and as soon as mouth met mouth her tongue engaged his own in oral combat and they wrapped themselves in a tender embrace.

He had wanted to kiss her the first moment he saw her and she was of similar mind but had thought the kiss would never materialise which was why she took it when it was offered.

“We have to stop” she said “Someone might see”

“Damn I was enjoying that” he said as he watched her adjusting her apparel.

“So was I” she admitted “shall we go”

They went down the stairwell towards the basement carpark but stopped half way down for another kiss which soon reignited passions flame, but when a stairwell door opened and closed either above or below she pushed him away and again straightened her clothes.

“Someone is going to see us” she said nervously

“Let’s go then” Phil said and took her hand and they ran down the stairs to the carpark.

 

When they reached her car Catherine fumbled for the car keys in her bag and failed.

“Your hands are shaking” he pointed out

“I know that’s your fault” she said and tipped the contents of her bag on the bonnet.

“Why?” he asked innocently

“You know why” she replied “because I thought you were never going to call and you did out of the blue and I just want our first date to be perfect, and I’m so nervous, and I’m going to stay nervous until I get you somewhere where I can kiss you in peace, which isn’t going to happen if I can’t find my bloody keys”

“You don’t need your keys for what I have in mind” Phil said turning towards her.

“Does it involve waiting patiently?” she asked

“No”

“Thank God” she replied and turned her head to kiss him.


SNAPSHOT

 

I held her picture

Posed for posterity

A picture of a young girl

In a summer dress

A “hand me down”

Pattern faded

With fraying hem

A pretty young woman

Face of innocence

Framed by brown tousled hair

Naïve and unaffected

Unsure of her beauty

And more beautiful

Because of it

Such a wonderful snapshot

Of a perfect moment

So long ago

I fell in love with her that day

My heart melted

Like the snow in spring

I love her still

And every day in between

Tears welled in my eyes

As I looked at that picture

Of naïve beauty

And they fell unchecked

As I remembered

The woman she became

And the love we shared

Until she was taken from me

TAINTED LOVE

 

Cruel fate

Cursed our souls

When cupids arrow

Missed its aim

And speared our hearts

Hearts not free to love

Hearts otherwise wedded

In blessed union

 

But cupids strike

Left us fettered

Bound together
With loves chains

Enslaving us

Bonding us with love

Conjugated by fate

Entangled marionettes

Puppets of love

Reluctantly performing

To another’s will

 

Held in love's grip

By fates curse
That bitter sweet gift

Of deceitful ardour

Duplicitous romance

Forbidden passion

That gift of love

With the curse of betrayal

 

Knowing loves intimacy

The joy of closeness

The warmth of tenderness
Passion made manifest

Emboldened the psyche

Elevated the soul

Flames of passion

Burning deeply

Cleansing all

But the guilt

 

Enchanted by Eros

Beguiled by Amor

Spellbound by adoration

But gripped by fear

Fear of being together

Fear of discovery

But the overriding fear

Of separation

RAINY SUNDAY

 

It’s a rainy Sunday

And I’m feeling blue

Remembering the past

And thinking of you

 

Do you happily look back?

Across the years

Or do you view them

Through bitter tears

 

Do you ever think of me?

Just once in a while

With a furrowed brow

Or rueful smile

 

You thought our love

Would last an eternity

But I was quite happy

Just to wait and see

 

I just wanted us

To enjoy the laughter

But what you wanted

Was happy ever after

 

I loved you so much more

Than I would ever say

When we broke up

On that rainy Sunday

 

When you asked me

I should have said

“I really do love you”

I just shrugged instead

 

I wish I could go back

To that rainy Sunday

I would get on my knees

And beg you to stay

Saturday, 4 September 2021

Those Memories Made on Teardrop Lake – (70) Love at Lovers Leap

Martin Price was staying at the Shallowfield Lodge Hotel at the head of Teardrop Lake as he did every summer as the view of the lake from the Hotel was spectacular.

The lake was shaped like a teardrop, hence its name, and surrounded by the ancient woodland of the Dancingdean Forrest.

It wasn’t a huge body of water, just over two miles long and almost a mile at its widest point.

It was beautiful and relatively unspoilt which was one of the reasons he chose it.

A lot of fishermen, walkers and avid bird watchers gravitated to the Finchbottom Vale.

Teardrop Lake and the surrounding woodland was privately owned and divided into twelve parcels of land, each with one significant dwelling on it, although there were a number of cottages dotted around the forest as well, some in use and some not. 

It was both idyllic and peaceful, and there was little or no noise pollution and although the lake was used there were no speed boats or jet skis, only rowing boats, canoes, dinghies and skiffs.

But he wasn’t there just for the scenery and he had spent the first week of his holiday reacquainting himself with some of his old friends while making some new ones along the way, that was after all what he loved, he was first and foremost a social animal, but the one thing that Martin definitely hadn’t gone to Teardrop Lake for was to fall in love, but he did so nonetheless, not once but twice.

But it wasn’t just socializing that brought him back to Teardrop Lake year after year, because he did enjoy the Dancingdean Forest and his Lakeside walks immensely.

 

On one particular occasion he took a longer than usual walk owing to the larger than usual lunch he had consumed when he ran into Paula Rees, who worked at the Lodge along with her best friend Kerry Long.

She looked rather lost and lonely without her outgoing and bubbly sidekick Kerry.

Paula was a quiet, caramel skinned beauty who lived in the shadow of her more confident pale skinned friend.

The fact that she was adrift was evidenced by the rather pathetically forlorn creature that was ambling towards him.

“Hello Paula” he said

“Oh hello”

“You a bit fed up? Are you missing Kerry?” he asked

“Yes” she sighed “and she’s only been gone a few days”

She looked rather sad, which was possibly what tweaked at his heart strings, but unbeknown to him this chance meeting was anything but, because despite her being a fresh faced 20 year old student she was no innocent.

Being make up free made her pretty rather than beautiful but she knew how to use what she had with subtlety. 

However Martin’s only thought was to cheer her up and put a smile on her soft lips, while she was lost and alone, he should have known better as he had fallen into that trap already with her friend, but he thought it truly serendipitous to meet her at the time.

 

Her friend Kerry on the other hand was cut from different cloth which was the most fundamental way in which she differed from Paula.

Kerry didn’t do things by chance, and she never went out without make up and when he had met her a few days earlier walking down that lane from the lodge it was because she had planned it that way whereas Paula was more haphazard.

Kerry was more calculating and when he had met her a few days earlier on the jetty by the lodge it was because she had planned it that way.

They ended up becalmed in the middle of the lake where she seduced him and once she had him body and soul, she cast him aside.

So he should have been a little more cautious with her friend but on that day fate had taken a hand.

“I’m just going for a walk” he said “would you like to keep me company?”

“Yes please” she replied

 

They walked the full length of the Northern perimeter road, from the Shallowfield Lodge all the way to lovers leap.

Once they had ooh’d and aah’d at the wonderful view out across the Dancingdean Forest proper Paula spread her towel on the flat rocky surface and lay down on her back.

Martin lay down beside her and she began caressing his hand and moments later they were kissing

 

So he made love to the dark skinned dusky and exotic Paula on the rocky outcrop of lover’s leap, her beautiful caramel skin glowing with lustre, only a few days after having the pale skinned peaches and cream Kerry steal his heart and break it in the same instant out on the lake.

 

He knew he shouldn’t compare them but he found it hard not to, being that they came as a pair and were both of the same tender age of 20 but he did so, and found that brash calculating Kerry failed to measure up to sweet quiet Paula in every way imaginable.

And on that day Paula took his heart and cherished it for a lifetime.

BENIGN SPIRIT

 

Let me surround you

Like a benign spirit

Comforting and protecting

Let me envelope you like a cloak of love

Wrapping you in a goose down quilt

To warm your soul from winters grip

Let me nourish and nurture

And blow gently on the embers of love

In your sad and lonely heart