Monday, 4 April 2022

Tales from the Finchbottom Vale – (06) It was the Argyle Socks

 

Tallulah St George was among other things the property manager for the Mornington Estate, a role that was only going to get busier with the reacquisition of the Old RAF Base, Mornington Field.

Her elder brother Gabriel was the Lord of the Manor but she and her three sisters Elspeth, Cordelia and Corliss all played a part in the Estates running along with Philomena Cruickshank better known as Aunty Phil.

Philomena and her dog biscuit returned from their early morning walk at 7 am to find Tallulah was in the Mornington Manor kitchen boiling eggs and burning toast, cooking not being her forte and even boiled egg and soldiers was a little ambitious for her rudimentary skills.

“Hi Auntie Phil” she said brightly “Did you have a good walk?”

“Yes we did” she replied “It’s such a beautiful morning”

Having quickly assessed the situation in the kitchen and Aunty Phil said

“I’ll do that Honey, you go and get yourself ready, we’re leaving in an hour”

 

Tallulah and Aunty Phil were very close, perhaps because she was the eldest daughter or maybe because they were cut from the same cloth.

Shortly after the death of her father, Valentine, and Gabriel had taken over the running of the estate, her mother Persephone was taken seriously ill.

It was a bitter blow for the family and hit everyone very hard, it felt to them like they had been knocked to floor by their father’s death and were then being kicked while he was on the ground.

So Persephone’s younger sister Philomena moved into the Manor to help nurse her and organize the family at the same time.

 

In the turbulent two year period of Persie’s decline Aunty Phil became invaluable to the St George family, she was the glue that held the fracturing family together, with her stoical strength and practicality and she needed every ounce of her not inconsiderable strength of character to achieve it because even she couldn’t prevent the inevitable.

And during that time a strong bond was formed between Philomena and the St George Children but the strongest bond of all was that between Aunty Phil and Tally.

 

They were off to Highfinch for a week, Tally to play Golf and Philomena to spend a restful week away from wedding planning.

They were going to stay with Cousin Michael who had a rather grand house that backed onto the Golf Course.

Tally had played the Lily Green Hollows course many times and it was her favourite, more often than not when she got to play Golf it was at Forest Ridge, which was a great course but it was still a poor second to Lily Green.

 

Philomena was to marry the Vicar of St Winifred’s Peter Cockcroft the following year but the Church calendar was so crowded they had to plan early.

Philomena had become friends with Peter and his wife Carole almost the moment she arrived in Mornington.

Sadly while Carole was attending to the flowers in the church, she suffered a sudden agonizing headache, so sudden and intense it felt like she had been struck violently on the head, which was in reality the result of a ruptured brain aneurysm.

 

Carole’s death was so sudden and unexpected that it took a little while for those close to her to come to terms with it and in the end it was the Mornington Summer Fête which brought Peter and Phil together.

But Tallulah took the credit for sealing the deal, when pride and guilt threatened to keep them apart.

 

Tallulah took the credit for sealing the deal between Aunty Phil and the Reverend Cockcroft, when pride and guilt threatened to keep them apart.

It was a damp drizzly morning as July was coming to a close and Philomena and Biscuit had been out for their usual walk but neither of them were disappointed when the walk was over.

When they arrived at the boot room door she opened it and the dog beat her through it and then she toweled Biscuit dry before kicking off her boots and hanging up her coat.

And afterwards she went in search of the kettle, when she reached the kitchen Tallulah was sitting at the table pouring a cup of tea from a large tea pot.

“Is there another one in there Tally?” she asked

“Yes Aunty, get yourself a mug”

After Tallulah had done the honour’s Philomena took a tentative sip.

“Oooh that’s nice” she said 

“Did you enjoy your walk Aunty Phil?”

“No not much it’s a bit miserable out there today” she replied

“Have you been out walking with the Vicar lately?” Tallulah asked

“No, why?” she asked sufficiently.

“It’s just that I thought you two had become inseparable” Tally remarked

“That was only because of the Fête”

“Oh that’s a shame” Tally said

“Why?”

“Well you’ve had a bit of a spring in your step for the past few weeks” she replied

“And you didn’t let a bit of rain dampen your enthusiasm, you’d have been out there for hours on a day like this”

“Oh I don’t know about that” Aunty Phil protested

“And you looked good together” Tally added

“Now you’re just being silly”

“And I’ll tell you something else Aunty, I think Carole would have been pleased”

“Would she?” Philomena asked with surprise

“Yes she was very fond of you Aunty”

Philomena was thoughtful for a few moments as she finished her tea, then she stood up and walked around and kissed the top of Tallulah’s head

“You have wisdom beyond your year’s honey”

“It’s a gift” she replied

“Come on then dog, it’s time to get wet again” Aunty Phil said

 

Those words of encouragement did the trick and spurred Philomena on to grasp the nettle and as a result at the age of 46 she was engaged to be married and why the bond between her and Tallulah was even stronger.

 

Tallulah, Philomena and Biscuit set off from Mornington just after 8 o’clock, 24 hours later than planned.

The day before there had been a hastily convened meeting of the St George clan to discuss the rumoured redevelopment of the Seaview Hotel in Sharpington which the Mornington Estate had an interest in saving.

The meeting ended with a unanimous decision.

 

It was a lovely morning as they left Mornington and headed out into the country towards Highfinch and Tally was hopeful to be on the course by ten o’clock.

 

The countryside of the Vale was beautiful enough but as they got closer to the Pepperstock Hills it got even more so.

The village of Highfinch sat just on the edge of the Pepperstock Hills and Lily Green Hollows Golf Club separated the village from the Hamlet of Lily Green.

It was a very exclusive Golf Club with a large number of grand House’s in both village and hamlet backing on to it.

It was not widely known but the Golf Club and all the plush dwelling attached to the course belonged to the Mornington Estate.

It came into their ownership in the late 1980’s when a developer tried to buy it to create a luxury housing estate, Gabriel’s father Valentine, who was the then Baron, stepped in and saved it.

Because it was so exclusive the membership fees were exorbitant but they had to be because the Golf Club and all the properties that surrounded it had to pay their own way.

Gabriel hated the fact that the club was strictly for the rich but it was a necessary evil to preserve it and protect it from the developers.

 

Michael St George lived in a grand Georgian House on the Highfinch side of the course and his rather impressive dwelling backed onto the 3rd green.

Michael was standing on the drive as they pulled up, he was tall and blonde and quite striking like all the St George men but striking good looks were not restricted to the male side of the clan, Tally St George was as strikingly attractive as her Cousin was and Aunt Philomena was merely an older version of her.

“Hi you two” Michael said already in his Golf togs and in the ensuing melee cheeks were kissed and embraces were exchanged.

“Did you get us a tee off time?” Tally asked encouraged by his appearance.

“Of course” he replied “you’ve got half an hour”   

“Great” she replied as Michael helped them take their bags inside.

 

From his conservatory it was possible to look out through the open French windows and across the expanse of lawn to a stand of ancient woodland that separated his garden from the Golf course, there was no fence to separate garden and wood the two just merged, one into the other.

“I’ve got a local guy to make up a four ball” Michael said as they walked from his back garden through the trees.

“What a neighbour?” Philomena asked

“Yes and no” he replied enigmatically

“Well either he is or he isn’t” Tally pointed out

“He’s my neighbour at the moment but he’s soon to be yours” he explained

“That’s still no clearer” she said

“He has a cottage in Lily Green” but he’s going to be living in Mornington in the New Year”

“What’s his name?” Tally asked

“George Vineyard” he replied

“Ah the clock man” Tally said although to call him a clock man was akin to calling Rolls Royce mechanic a grease monkey.

He was a restorer of antique timepieces, a craftsman, one of a dying breed.

His home was in the hamlet of Lily Green, which would remain so for weekends, but Monday to Friday he would live with his sister in law Rebecca and her family who had moved into one of the old Military Houses in Mornington when he moved his business, Time and Time Again, up to Mornington Field.

 

Although she recognized the name, Tallulah hadn’t met him, Victoria Johnson Higham had dealt with him.

Victoria was from Lyndon-Sanders Properties, who were tasked with finding tenants for the commercial properties as well as some of the accommodation and she worked closely with Tally who was the property manager for the Estate, which would formally take over the administration from January 1st.

 

So she was quite interested to see what he looked like, she imagined that a clock maker or restorer would look much like Pinocchio’s father Geppetto and would have questioned his ability to lift a club let alone swing it, and they would spend the whole round waiting for him to catch them up, which kind of took the edge off her appetite for the game.

 

They skirted the 3rd green and crossed the 2nd fairway and followed the well-worn path that led towards the clubhouse and standing by the 1st tee was their fourth and to Tally’s amazement he looked nothing like Geppetto.

He was a couple of years older than Tally, 6ft 4, straight backed, square jawed with brown hair and a dimpled chin, and suddenly her appetite returned, in fact she thought he looked rather scrumptious.

 

“Sorry to keep you waiting George” Michael said

“You’re right on time” he replied

“This is Aunty Philomena” he said “and Cousin Tallulah”

“Pleased to meet you both” George said and shook their hands.

“And you” Philomena retorted “And I answer to Phil”

“And I’m Tally”

 

It was a very pleasant morning, warmer than it had been the previous few days, with the mainly blue expanse of sky broken only by the occasional passing cloud.

The wind that had been affecting everyone’s scorecards over the previous week had finally died away so everyone was expecting a pleasant round.

And with the introductions over there was a five minute discourse as to the order of play etcetera.

They decided on match play pairs, four-ball format, with the lowest score from each pair counting.

As to teams it was to be the St George’s against the Phil and George.

 

On the front nine Philomena and George were on fire and after seven holes they were up by five.

Tallulah had a bit of a disaster on the par 5, 8th despite hitting a crisp drive off the elevated tee which, in the immortal words of the Bing Crosby song absolutely flew “straight down the middle”, and it landed just short of the dog leg, kicked to the right and rolled perfectly round the turn.

“Great shot Tal” Michael shouted
So far so good and after such a shot she felt ten feet tall as she strode down the fairway.
When she reached her ball it was about 50 yards ahead of George who had the next longest drive and she found the ball sitting up invitingly.

Michael played his shot first and put it just short of the green just a chip and a putt away, then Michael and Philomena played their shots and were also well placed.

So with an unhindered path to the green Tally had a real eagle chance.
However slightly ahead of her and to the right was a rather large Rabbit enjoying the summer sunshine blissfully unaware of what was to come.
She selected her club and addressed the ball
“Just hit it straight” she told herself
Tallulah swung the club towards the ball in a perfect ark but she must have lifted her head because there was an ugly contact and the ball sliced away in the direction of the Rabbit.
Now had the Rabbit just stayed still he would have lived but alas the sound of the sliced contact startled the Rabbit and caused it to leap vertically in the air straight into the path of the ball and it died instantly.

She had no excuse, she couldn’t even have claimed that the Rabbit put her off, but if the ball had followed its path she would have been deep in the woods and possibly even out of bounds, so it appeared that the Rabbit sacrificed himself to save her par.

Luckily for her Michael chipped and putted to make birdie while the others only managed par.

 

Despite being 4 down at the turn with the combination of Michael’s extra yardage on the long holes and Tallulah putting out of her skin they were all square after the 14th.

Philomena then chipped in from the bunker to win the 15th  

Tallulah sank a 40ft putt to take 16, the 17th was halved and it was all to play for on the final hole.

Which was another half when they putted out and the honours were even and then they walked to the 19th for some lunch.

 

After having spent the morning playing a foursome they were all quite peckish.

After making their order the sat down and chatted

“I understand we are to become neighbours in the near future” Tally said

“Indeed” George replied “the whole family are on the move”

“I’m sure you’ll be very happy in the village” Philomena “It’s been very good for me”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine but it’s a big step” George added

“The Vineyards have been in Purplemere almost as long as the St Georges have been at Mornington Manor”

“And the business?” Michael asked

“We’ve been in the same premises for over one hundred years so it will be a wrench that’s for sure” George replied

“But it’s the right thing to do”

“It’s sad though” Tally added

“The problem when you work with antiques for a living you are constantly looking backwards” he replied “But now we have to look forward”

“I’m thinking of moving to Mornington Field myself” Michael said

“We’ll you’re going to have to hurry up and decide” Tallulah said with her business head on “time is short”

“Alright nag bag” Michael said and laughed

Before Tallulah had a chance to respond the food arrived.

 

“George says that you’re keeping your cottage on in Lily Green” Tallulah asked “Does that mean you’re not fully committed to Mornington?”

“Leave the poor man alone” Philomena said “Stop behaving like a landlord, you’re on holiday”

“It’s ok” George replied “I don’t mind, I’m committed to living in and working in Mornington, Monday to Friday, but for the weekends I will come back here”

“Mornington is very nice at weekends as well you know” Tallulah retorted

“She’s like a dog with a bone” George remarked

“Look Monday to Friday I will be living with my sister in law Rebecca and her family in Military Row, but I will returned here at the weekend for two reasons, firstly to give Rebecca family time without a lodger under her feet and secondly in order to indulge my passion for Golf, and the one thing Mornington doesn’t have is a Golf course, and I know that Forest Ridge isn’t far away and it’s ok but it’s not Lily Green Hollows”

“Here, here” Michael said

“Well I have to say I can find no fault with your argument” Tallulah said and they all laughed

 

“So how long are you here?” George asked over coffee, his question was directed at both Philomena and Tally but he was only really interested in the latter.

“About a week” she replied

“Well I’m on holiday” he said “so if you need a partner I’m around”

“I’m always looking for a partner” Tally replied “if you have the stamina”

“You managed to make yourself sound both desperate and wanton in the one sentence” Philomena said and laughed which made Tallulah blush.

“Thanks Aunty” Tallulah said and laughed herself and asked

“So how long is your holiday?”

“A couple of weeks” he said “it’s the last one I’m likely to get until after the move to Mornington, there’s a lot to do at the old premises”

“Then we should definitely get to play around” she said

Philomena gave a knowing smile and the other two grinned.

“What have I said now?” Tallulah asked

 

Tallulah played golf every day, sometimes twice a day.

But Philomena and Michael couldn’t play with her all the time.

Aunty Phil had other things she wanted to do and people she wanted to catch up with and Michael had to go off to Antique Fairs and auctions.

She knew quite a few of the members at the club so getting a game wasn’t an issue but she found herself attracted to George Vineyard despite the fact he was a bit lippy so she took him up on his offer several times during the course of the week and also had lunch with him a couple of times.

 

They played their third round together on Friday morning as a two ball and considering the clement weather the course was very quiet.

So they tee-ed off at 10.30 with no one waiting behind them and the twosome in front of them were probably two holes ahead.

George thought Tallulah was looking as lovely as the weather, wearing a large peaked white cap with her blonde hair scraped into a pony tail sticking out the back.

The rest of her outfit was all matching, predominately white with yellow trim, Polo shirt, short flared skirt and ankle socks.

Her ensemble was then finished off with white Golf shoes and a yellow glove and it was as she retrieved her ball from the cup on the first green that he noticed that even her knickers were white with yellow piping.

 

George was attracted to Tallulah from the first moment he laid eyes on her but he was reluctant to act on his attraction she was after all a Lady, not that she ever used the title but she was a Lady nonetheless.

She was also graceful, cultured, refined, you name it she ticked the box, but he had none of that.

He wasn’t a poor man and he also had an expensive education but socially they were worlds apart, he only knew about two things Golf and Clocks.

Having said all that she had never made him feel like he didn’t belong in her company.

 

Tallulah had studied George’s physical form while they played and had not found it wanting, she also liked the sense of family that he clearly possessed.

But one of the key things about him that she was attracted to was one of his physical attributes, his height.

Tallulah was a tall girl, which didn’t detract from her elegance or grace but when she was with men she was more often than not taller than they were and it made her feel self-conscious but because of his stature George made her feel feminine, and that was important to her.

 

Tallulah was undoubtedly a very attractive woman but there was more to her than that, although he was distracted by her finer points, like the way her hips moved when she struck the ball, and the way her breasts kept moving after the ball had gone, the way she wiggled as she walked down the fairway and the way her buttocks clenched when she was preparing to putt, but despite all of the obvious he could sense there was more to her than merely the aesthetic.


Well despite the fact they were both preoccupied with the physical attributed of their opponent they both managed to card a pretty fair score.

Tallulah was having a better round and by the time they reached the 17th tee Tally was 2 shots ahead of George.

Which didn’t bother him on any level, he wasn’t a macho man who couldn’t bear to lose to a woman and quite frankly he had never been a competitor.

It never mattered to him who won as long as it was enjoyable and playing with Tallulah had been fun.

Tallulah was possessed of a similar mindset, being raised with the mantra of “it’s only a game”.
To some of course it was more than that and winning was all that mattered.

George always avoided playing with people like that if he could help it and there were plenty of that ilk.
Tally he was pleased to note was not one of them.

The 17th was a blind hole, and although it was a par three it was a very tricky hole.

You had to hit off an elevated tee over some 90 yards of nasty rough culminating in a hundred foot drop down a sandstone cliff to the green below which had bunkers on three sides.

As they followed the path from the 16th green it passed close to the cliff edge and afforded them a clear view of the 17th green below.

If the green was in use players would make their way to the tee and wait for the bell to ring before they played on.

As Tally and George looked down from the path the green was empty so they knew they were safe to play.
George went first as he had won the previous hole and he hit a very decent shot right down the middle.

Then Tally hit hers and although she cleared the rough she uncharacteristically sliced it off to the right.
"Oh shit,” she exclaimed also uncharacteristically
"Never mind Tal" He said, “you might be safe there”
They collected their trolleys and followed the long winding path down to the green.
When they got down there George’s ball was on the edge of the green “You’re well place at least” she said

“I might even make par” he agreed

Tally’s ball though was nowhere to be seen, so they left their trolleys at the front of the green and went in search of her errant drive, Tally in front with a short iron in hand in case she had to hack the ball out.
Once passed the apron they entered the woods, after the long walk down from the tee it was nice to get out of the sun for a minute and enjoy the cool dappled shade.
After an initial clearing the woods got very thick very quickly.

There was an old fallen tree halting their progress with gaps beneath it clearly visible.
"It must have rolled under here" she said as she stood on tiptoe and lent over the trunk amongst the tangle of branches
the result of which was an unrestricted view of her pristine white pants.

She was thrashing about at the undergrowth the other side of the tree with her club in an effort to find her ball.

As much as he was enjoying the view of her bent over the fallen tree he decided to be a gentleman and offered to find her ball for her.

“Do you want me to have a look?” he asked “I’ve got a longer reach”

“It must be in here” she said having one more thrash before conceding defeat and allowing George to take her place and then it was her turn to ogle.

“Here it is?” he said and gave it a whack and it dribbled out from under the trunk.

Tally however was still preoccupied with his rear aspect to notice.

“Have you got it?” he asked as he pushed himself up off the log.

“Erm no” she said and looked around quickly and as she crouched down to retrieve it George did the same and they found themselves face to face and in that moment they almost kissed, both of them wanted to, but both of them bottled out.

“I’ll have to take a drop” she said

“Yes” he agreed and they both left the clearing.

 

George managed to get par and Tallulah double bogied but on the par 5, 18th Tallulah was so cross with herself for losing her nerve that her game completely deserted her and she dropped six shots.

George channeled all his anger into his game and ended the round with another par.

 

When they got to the clubhouse they found Michael and his Cousin William on the terrace having a drink, they were sitting quietly reflecting on the day’s events, and they invited Tallulah and George to join them.

“So you two, have you had a good round?” Michael asked picking up their scorecards.

“Bless me Tally what happened on the 18th you really went to pieces”

“Yes my mind was obviously elsewhere” she replied

“That’s a shame because you were creaming him up till 17”

“It was in the woods” George said quietly

“What was that?” asked Michael

“Nothing” She said and then excused herself

“And what about you?” Michael said perusing George’s card

“You got a par on 17?” he said in astonishment

“Yes” he said as he watched Tally walk away,

“It was almost perfect”

 

After the near miss in the woods on Friday the best thing to have done for both of them would have been to get back on the horse, however they were unable to get back in the saddle as the weather turned and violent storms hit the Vale.

Torrential rain began to fall on Friday and made the course unplayable they did however almost run into each other at the crowded clubhouse at lunchtime.

As George crossed the lobby he caught sight of Tallulah sitting alone at one of the tables so he strode purposely in her direction and then as luck would have it, or so he thought, he caught her eye and George gave her a wave, but instead of waving back she gathered up her things and hurried away which he thought very odd behavior.

On Sunday, although the course was playable again, there was a big family get-together at Cousin William’s house.

Instead of enjoying a splendid Sunday roast with the family

Tallulah spent much of day fretting over her ridiculous behaviour of the day before when she inexplicably ran away from George.

As if failing to seize the moment in the woods when his lips were only inches away from hers wasn’t bad enough she then ran away and hid in the toilets to avoid him when that was the last thing she wanted to do.

 

George meanwhile spent the day in his cottage also regretting his missed opportunity and puzzling as to why Tallulah avoided him so blatantly.

He resolved to put her out of his mind but had determined not to let another opportunity slip by, and he pledged to himself that the next time he saw her he would seize the moment.

And then he began looking forward to the game he had arranged for Monday morning with Michael.

 

As she walked over to the clubhouse with Michael for what would be her last round before she returned to Mornington, she was quite nonchalant, blasé even, about her missed opportunity, she was determined not to let it ruin her last game, after all that wasn’t what she’d come to Highfinch for anyway, romance was very much not on her itinerary. 

But the moment she reached the 1st tee and saw George standing with Cousin William all her nonchalance evaporated.

Neither George nor Tallulah was aware that the other one would be there so they were both pleasantly surprised but also a little bit embarrassed.

 

“Oh Hello” Tally exclaimed “I didn’t know you were playing this morning”

“Erm nnno… nor did I” he stammered “I mean I wasn’t expecting to see you either”

 

If there had been any doubts in their minds that they had been set up by Michael and William they were dispelled when Michael announced the pairs and Tallulah was partnering George.

 

Although there was some embarrassment evidenced by Tallulah’s red face and Georges stammering they were actually rather pleased.

Tallulah’s only concern involved being able to concentrate on the game and George just hoped he could live up to his pledge to seize the moment.

 

Tallulah had had fancies over the years, an attractive women doesn’t reach her late twenties without showing or receiving interest but George was different when she looked at him she felt something deeper than mere attraction or lust and that morning was no exception.

 

Georges interest also ran deeper if not he might have cast a casual eye over the lovely Tallulah and then got on with the Golf.

But George wasn’t just attracted to Tallulah because she was a very attractive woman, nor was it because she was articulate, intelligent, exceedingly good company and a very competent golfer, she was the “one” he knew that without a doubt.

 

It was a very pleasant morning, warmer than it had been the previous couple of days, but as those few days were actually very cool indeed that wasn’t really saying much.

There was a distinct autumnal feel in the air, but the skies were predominantly blue, for the time being, with only broken cloud but the forecast had mentioned the possibility of thunder later in the day.

The wind had a slight chill to it but was fairly light and so wasn’t expected to affect anyone’s scorecards too much and they were both expecting another pleasant round.

 

“I’ll just get our scorecards” Michael said and then he was gone, “I’ll come with you” William said a moment later hurried after him.

“I enjoyed our game on Friday Tally” George said when they were alone although he wanted to say “I wish I’d kissed you”

“Me too” she agreed but asked inside her head “Why didn’t you kiss me?”

“You played very well” he said awkwardly

“So did you” she remarked equally so

Fortunately they were spared any more agony when the other two returned.

 

Considering the morning’s bright weather the course was very quiet.

They were teeing off at 8.30 with no one waiting behind them and a couple of twosomes were at least a three or four of holes ahead.

It was possible that the majority of “fair weather golfers” had been put off by the mention of thunder.

 

George mused that Tallulah herself was looking as lovely as the weather,

“When did she not” he thought to himself.

In deference to the Autumnal feel she wasn’t wearing her trade mark large peaked cap, but had gone for a grey flat cap with her blonde hair hidden from view but for a few strands visible sticking out the back.

The rest of her outfit was as ever all matching and perfectly coordinated.

Due to the coolness the short flared skirt and ankle socks had been replaced by a more autumnal outfit, a white cotton shirt, beneath a pale blue argyle cardigan, a knee length pleated skirt in the same grey fabric as her cap and long argyle socks, her ensemble was then finished off with black brogue Golf shoes and a pale blue glove.

“Damn she looks good” George thought to himself.

 

Tallulah was the last one to tee off, the other three had all taken decent shots and were safely on the short grass.

She took a couple of practice swings and then addressed the ball before hitting a crisp clean drive which sailed straight down the middle of the fairway.

George didn’t follow the flight of the ball he was watching her and appreciating the finer points of her swing.

Not the swing of the club but the swing of her hips as she struck the ball.

George hung back and followed the other as they set off in search of their respective balls he did so because he like the way she wiggled as she walked down the fairway.

 

As they played their way around the course George found, mainly due to the distraction that was the beautiful Tallulah St George, he had managed to card a barely average score.

 

Tallulah on the other hand was having a great round spurred on by her mission because she had decided, as she watched him drive off on the first tee, what she was going to do.

She had decided that at the end of the round she would ask him out to dinner that night.

It was her last chance as she was going home to Mornington the next day.

She was playing so well because she was in a hurry to get to the end.

Every time she caught site of the scrumptious 6ft 4, straight backed, square jawed, and dimple chinned clock mender her legs went wobbly, especially when he smiled at her.

So after every smile she hit a 250 plus yard drive and by the time they reached the 15th tee Tally was 9 shots ahead of him which was when the weather began to turn.

The early sun and blue skies were quickly swallowed up by a blanket of grey cloud, that cloud then progressively darkened and was then distinctly inky, and distant rumbles of thunder could be heard.

“I’m not liking the look of that sky” Michael said

“Nor me” agreed William

“Ok then” George said “Using the maxim that discretion is the better part of valour, I think we should concede the round to Tally”

“I couldn’t agree more” Michael said and William concurred

So with the three men having agreed to concede unreservedly they decided to call it a day.

But they were still in the middle of nowhere and a long way from the sanctuary of the clubhouse.

Fortunately the 14th green lay between the 15th and 18th Tees so George made another suggestion.

“We might as well play 18, it’s the shortest route back to the 19th”

They all agreed and decided to play the 18th back to the clubhouse.

This was a relief to Tallulah because she wasn’t sure how many more long drives she had left in her and it was a relief to everyone else as it meant they should easily make it back to the clubhouse before the storm broke.

 

The 18th was a par five dogleg, slightly downhill to the turn and then flat all the way to the green, easily reachable with two decent long iron shots.

With a firm straight drive from the tee it was possible to make the turn and give yourself an unhindered second stroke.
Tallulah went first as she had won the previous hole and she hit a very decent shot right down the middle of the fairway that kicked on nicely and scampered off down the hill, which was pretty well perfect.

Then George, Michael and William hit theirs respectively and although they didn’t out drive Tally they ended up only about 30 yards behind her and also perfectly positioned.

 

After all hitting decent drives from the tee George played his second shot first as he was furthest from the pin and caught it perfectly and sent it sailing off and landing plum in the middle of the fairway.

“Great shot George” William shouted

William and Michael both hit wayward shots and ended up in the trees to the left of the short grass.

Tally however caught her second shot rather well and landed only feet away from George’s ball but it kicked up on impact and ended up in the light rough just on the edge of some very thick woodland.

"That was bad luck” said George “I think you’re safe there though”
They collected their trolleys and headed off up the fairway just as the first drops of rain began to fall.

“We should just finish the hole in time” she said optimistically

“I’m not so sure” George replied doubtfully

 

When they reached their respective balls, George’s was sitting up quite nicely so he quickly selected a 5 iron and spanked it crisply to the edge of the green.
He put his club away and prepared to watch Tallulah play her ball, well what he was really watching was the wiggle of her buttocks the swirl of her pleats and that was when the heavens opened.

George took a few steps backwards beneath the dense foliage canopy.

“Come on Tal” he shouted “make a dash for it”

She grabbed her trolley with one hand and with her club in the other she ran towards him.

“Come on” he urged “you can keep dry under here”

And George withdrew deeper into the trees as she bowled under the leafy cover.

“God that’s savage” she said

For a few moments they stood watching the rain fall like stair rods hammering into the ground as thunder rumbled nearby. 

“Are you ok?” he asked

“Yes” she said with a chuckle “a bit damp but fine”

The rain began to fall even harder so they walked a few more yards into the wood and sheltered beneath an old oak tree.

It was at that moment that he became aware of just how damp she was, the front of her shirt was so when he could see her underwear through the wet fabric.

Tallulah noticed what was drawing his attention and covered it promptly with her cardigan.

“Sorry” he said and laughed

“Honestly!” She snapped “is that all you men think about?”

But she was laughing as she said it and she slapped him playfully.

He wanted to say that it wouldn’t happen again but that would have been a lie.

He had after all been unable to keep his eyes off her all morning and had no desire to stop.

The two of them stood beneath the oak both desperate to speak but equally unable to think of something to say and just at the moment they were beginning to feel awkward thunder clapped loudly overhead and made Tallulah jump, so as she looked to the sky George took his opportunity and kissed her, a long languid kiss that they had both craved.

After a minute or two she broke away from his embrace and smiled before slipping her arms around his neck and kissing him in return.

They continued to kiss beneath the oak tree as the storm raged overhead for several minutes and when they stopped Tallulah rested her forehead resting against his and asked.

“What made you kiss me today and not on Friday?”

“That’s easy” he said “It was the Argyle Socks”

 

They stayed another half an hour in the wood until Tallulah said quite business like,

“We had better make a move, the storm has passed”

“I was enjoying the kissing” he said

“They’ll be plenty of time for kissing” she replied

“Is that a promise?” he asked but she didn’t answer, she just walked out to where her ball was laying and hit it with some venom and it landed two feet from the pin.

 

After they had both holed out on 18, Tallulah with a birdie and George with a par, they walked towards the clubhouse where Michael and William had been ensconce for half an hour and then shared something of an awkward moment until George broke the silence.

“Do you want to have lunch?”

“I’d rather have dinner” she replied

A WORLD OF LOVE

 

When I walk with you

Through the woods and hills

Just you and I together

The real world disappears

Melts away like a dream

In the cold light of day

That you just can’t quite remember

We avoid the other walkers

Such is our greed for each other

That we jealously guard our company

We are in love

Though we speak of it reluctantly

Lest we break the spell

So we embrace together

In our special world

Cocooned from the real world

By our close proximity

Just you and I

And that is all the world we need

Tales from the Finchbottom Vale – (05) Plain Sailing

 

Victoria Johnson Higham was in her late twenties and worked for

Lyndon-Sanders Properties in Shallowfield and it was on a grey overcast Friday in August that she had rushed around all morning to get everything done, because she was finishing at lunchtime for the Bank Holiday because her best friend Nerissa Gamboa was coming to town for the long weekend.

Victoria was Shallowfield born and bred and apart from her time at Abbottsford University she had lived nowhere else and had no desire to do so, she was perfectly happy, well maybe not perfectly but very, very close to it.

She and Nerissa had been friends from the moment they first met at nursery, and had been best friends ever since.

They also went to a private Girls School together in Kettlewell and then onto Childean College and Abbottsford University.

Nez was originally from Shallowfield herself but moved away after college and had lived in Finchbottom for close to eight years but she was coming back for the Bank Holiday and she was really looking forward to seeing her because she hadn’t seen her for about two months.

 

While Victoria was waiting anxiously at her office for her friend to arrive, Jeff Hammett was sitting in his car outside Shallowfield station waiting for his, namely Jonathon Samuel.

The reason his friend had taken the train from Finchbottom was because he never learned to drive, and it always made Jeff smile when he thought about it.

 

Victoria was watching out the window as Nerissa drove into the carpark and ran outside just as she pulled up outside Lyndon-Sanders.

Nerissa immediately jumped out of the car and the two girls hugged and performed a little jig.

Victoria was the younger of the two by a few weeks, five foot eight, red hair and a pale complexion and cutely freckled, while Nerissa was an inch shorter with Jet-black hair and dark dusky skin but the one thing they had in common was that they were still gorgeous.

 

Although Jeff and Jon were both Shallowfield boys they both left after leaving Childean College to make their way in the world, neither of them fancied University so they both got jobs in Abbottsford with Here, There & Everywhere, who did Domestic and Business Removals but after ten years Jeff was back in his home town as assistant manager of the Shallowfield branch, while Jon ended up at the Finchbottom Furniture Palace where he was now the store manager.

Jeff got out of the car when he saw Jon emerge from the station.

People who didn’t know them often mistook them for brothers as they were both over six foot tall dark haired and lantern jawed.

The pair did a brief man hug, exchanged jibes and got in the car.

 

Vicky and Nerissa drove in convoy to her house at the Childean end of the Village and after dropping her bags at the house they went on in Vicky’s car to Childean to have their hair done at Mazzone’s, because they were going to a wedding the next day.

 

After Jeff had driven Jon to his house they dropped his bags in the hall left the car and walked to The Woodcutters Arms and stayed most of the day because they were also going to a wedding the next day.


Saturday was a glorious day coming at the end of an unsettled week, perfect for an August wedding.

It was very warm, for that late in the summer but it was the type of day that Shallowfield and England was made for.

However apart from being a very pleasant day it was also a very special day at St Mary’s church because the Vicar Ben Shenton was marrying college sweethearts Jim McArthur and Jana Fuller.

Jim was a longtime friend of Jeff and Jon having been through the school system together from beginning to end followed by two years of college.

While Jana had known Victoria and Nerissa since nursery and went to the private Girls School with them in Kettlewell and then onto Childean College and Abbottsford University.

 

The Church was packed to the gunwales as the happy couple were both from Shallowfield and they were a very popular pair to boot and truly likeable people, the result of which was that it seemed like most of Shallowfield were there to celebrate the day with them.

 

Jeff Hammett and Jonathan Samuel were also friends of the bride as well as the groom, and had been since their school days, although they didn’t attend the same schools but they were well known to the Fuller family as they were neighbours.

 

The Fullers were a wealthy family in Shallowfield so there was a big reception on at the Claremont Hotel to celebrate the nuptials of her daughter and son in law but the numbers of revelers were much reduced from those in the church congregation however the numbers would swell again in the evening where there was a free bar so subsequently a good deal of alcohol would be consumed.

 

Victoria and Nerissa were bridesmaids so were among the first to arrive at the Claremont and were in the grounds having pictures taken when Jeff and Jon crossed the terrace.

Mother of the bride, Amanda Fuller was sitting at a table by the door of the terrace entrance, some people with money can be standoffish however she was not one of them she always made a point to make everyone’s acquaintance and spoke to everyone.

“Hello Mrs. Fuller” Jeff said

“Hello boys” she replied as she shot to her feet and launched herself at the pair for a rather untidy embrace.

“I’m a bit squiffy” she slurred “to tell the truth”

“Why shouldn’t you be” Jeff said “you should be so proud”

“Oh I am dear” she replied

 

After the wedding breakfast was over, there was an hour and a half to kill before the evening reception began.

The easiest thing to do would have been to sit in the bar but by early evening a combination of too much beer and not enough food would have taken its toll so Vicky and Nez were considering getting a cab home and getting changed but then another option presented itself.

 

As it was unbearably hot the boys decided to go back to Jeff’s and get changed out of their suits.

They had just stepped out onto the terrace when they were hailed by their ex-college friends Nerissa and Victoria, who were slightly the worse for wear, they turned to see them tottering towards them across the grass, shoes in hand dressed as bridesmaids and ever so slightly tipsy.

 

Jeff knew the girls had always been best friends, were quite inseparable and very obviously gorgeous, when they knew them at Childean College they were lovely but now they were in their late twenties they were even more so.

 

They were both really nice girls at college but they were in a different league to them so they were never more than friends, and looking the way they did now it would appear that they were still out of their league.

Victoria was the younger of the two by a few weeks, five foot eight, red hair and pale complexion and cutely freckled and was Jeff’s personal favourite though Jon preferred Nerissa who was an inch shorter than her friend and had Jet-black hair and dark dusky skin.

That day they were still both stunningly beautiful however they were also wearing low cut bridesmaid dresses.

 

The truth of the matter was that although Jeff and Jon considered the girls as unassailable at college both Victoria and Nerissa had crushes on them, so they considered them as unfinished business.

Although it was almost ten years since Victoria had last seen Jeff the moment she saw him at the church the old feelings bubbled back to the surface and she thought that maybe she could have “perfect” after all and as she was a little merry she thought she should throw caution to the wind.

 

They tottered up alongside the boys each taking an arm, Victoria slipping her skinny pale arm through Jeff’s while Nerissa took Jon’s and began flirting outrageously.

“Can we come back to yours Jon?” Nerissa said

“Well I live in Finchbottom, so it’s not really practical Nez” he replied

“So where are you going then?” she asked

“We’re going to mine” Jeff replied

“So can we come?” Nez asked “Come on we are house trained”

“It’s not like we’re drunk or anything” Victoria chipped in

 “Can we?” Nerissa said again

“Please Jeff?” Victoria begged

“Ok” he said, “as long as you behave”

“What will you do if we don’t?” asked Nerissa

“Will you spank us?” Victoria said and giggled

“I’m completely reassured” Jeff said

 

Victoria thought it was a bit of luck latching onto them when they did as Jeff’s cottage was only half a mile from the Claremont Hotel, while Victoria’s was at the Childean end of the village a good half an hour yomp in sensible shoes and neither she nor Nerissa were wearing anything remotely like sensible shoes, the fact that she fancied the pants off him was a bonus.

When they reached the cottage the two giggling flirts sat outside in the shade of a parasol, Victoria and bright sunlight did not mix, while Jeff made teas and coffee and Jon went upstairs to change.

 

“This is a stroke of luck” Victoria said

“I know” Nerissa agreed

“Let’s stick with them at the party” Victoria suggested innocently

“Oh ok” she replied and giggled

 

Jeff watched the two girls giggling through the kitchen window and his hand was shaking as he filled the kettle.

“Victoria Johnson Higham is sitting in my garden” he said to himself and smiled

Five minutes later Jeff put the coffees on the patio table and sat down next to Victoria.

“So where are you two living now” he asked

“Finchbottom” Nerissa said looking to see where Jon had got to

“Shallowfield” Victoria said

“Really? You’re back in Shallowfield?” he asked more interested in Victoria’s circumstances than her friend

“I never left” she replied

“Oh I didn’t know that” he said

 

Jon returned downstairs after half an hour and he was looking a little hot and bothered when he joined the girls on the patio.

Nerissa smiled broadly and Victoria’s head drooped as Jeff then went inside to get changed.

“So do you two not live in the village anymore?” Jon asked

“I do” said Victoria “but I’m down the Childean end”

“What about you Nerissa?” he asked

“I’ve got a flat in Finchbottom” she replied “But I’m staying with Vic for the weekend”

 

“Do you two want to freshen up before we go back for the party?”  Jeff asked when he returned.

“If you don’t mind?” Victoria said

“Me first” Nerissa said and ran into the house giggling

“She always does that” Vicky said resignedly

“Very cheeky” Jon acknowledged

“You could say that” she said

 

While Nerissa was in the bathroom, for the best part half an hour, Victoria sat on the patio and tried to think of something interesting to say in order to capture Jeff’s attention.

But in the end the only thing she could come up with was

“Do you mind if we leave our silly hats here?”

Thankfully Nerissa returned at that point and Victoria slipped away unnoticed to freshen up herself.

 

Victoria stood in front of the mirror and wished she was in her own bathroom so she could make the most of herself, she’d get rid of the hideous bridesmaid dress for a start, and do something with her hair.

But she was, so she would have to make the most of it.

 

“We haven’t decided yet” Victoria heard Jeff reply to an unheard question as she stepped back onto the patio, and he turned to look at her and a curious look crossed his face.

“What haven’t you decided yet?” Victoria asked

“I asked what plans they had for the rest of the weekend” Nerissa said

“Oh” she replied

 

They walked back to the Claremont Hotel as the shadows were lengthening but Victoria’s boldness had deserted her so she and Jeff were not arm in arm, and even flirty Nez was uncharacteristically restrained.

 

Victoria had hoped to have Jeff’s undivided attention for the evening but as the four of them had so many friends at the party they were all distracted at every turn and apart from an occasional dance she wasn’t able to get to grips with him as she would have liked.

As a consequence Victoria and Nerissa drank more than they planned or was good for them which resulted in them sitting in a corner for the last hour of the party in a state of inebriation.

 

“Come on you two” Jeff said “it’s time to go”

“Where are we going?” Victoria slurred

“Home” he replied and pulled her to her feet

“Oooh lovely” she replied

“Phwoah” Nerissa added

 

The temperature had dropped away during the course of the evening and as they left the Hotel Victoria and Nerissa both shivered so Jeff and Jon lent them their jackets for the short walk back to his cottage.

 

Once they got inside Jon was desperate to use the toilet so Jeff went upstairs to get some bedding for the girls but by the time he got back they were both asleep, one on each sofa, so he draped a duvet over each of them, turned off the light and went to bed.

 

On Sunday morning the dawn chorus was deafening, at least it was to Victoria, it also hurt her head.

Although dawn had broken, the room was still in semi darkness due to the heavy drapes.

She opened her eyes wide and focused on the glass shade on the ceiling light then she thought

“I don’t have a glass shade”

So she tried to figure out where the hell she was and who the owner of the glass shade was.

Firstly she lifted up the duvet and inspected its contents and was relieved to see that she was fully clothed, and was still wearing the hideous bridesmaid’s dress.

At least she hadn’t ended up in someone’s bed, she had never let herself down like that before and she was relieved to discover her perfect record was intact.

As she tried desperately to identify some point of reference in the room, she became aware of some very loud snoring, and she feared the worse.

She had gone back to a man’s house and was incapable of doing anything, which was possibly even more embarrassing.

She slowly turned her head towards the source of the snoring and said

“Thank God”

She was relieved see that it was Nerissa laying on the other sofa, head back, mouth open, and snoring like a pig.

Then she worried if she had turned lesbian overnight but she thought that highly unlikely and besides Nerissa was fully clothed as well.

So feeling reassured that there had been no funny business she returned her attention to where the hell she was.

The problem is that the brain processes what you can see and then fills in the blanks with things from your memory bank.

I.e. when your eyes become more accustomed to the darkness a sleeping dog on the floor becomes a dressing gown discarded the night before, or a sleeping child on the chair becomes a sweater dropped haphazardly.

Victoria was still struggling to identify any point of reference that would identify her location but to no avail so she lifted her head to get a better look.

“Ow” she exclaimed and it all came flooding back to her, the party, the free bar, the walk and Jeff’s cottage and then the passing out.

“Oh God how embarrassing” she said “You’ll never get him now you silly cow”

She got herself up, gingerly and took her frustration out on Nerissa by unceremoniously yanking the cushion out from under her head so it thumped heavily on the arm of the sofa.

“Ouch” she exclaimed

“Sorry Nez” Victoria said and tiptoed out to the downstairs loo.

 

When she returned to the lounge Nerissa was sitting on the sofa, and Victoria could tell by her blank expression she was struggling to ascertain any point of reference that would identify her location.

“We’re at Jeff’s” Victoria said and she watched her expression change as it all came flooding back to her, the party, the free bar, the walk and Jeff’s cottage and then the passing out.

“Oh” she exclaimed “Oh God have we blown it?”

“Probably” Vic replied

“Shit” Nerissa said

“Quite” Victoria agreed “Now get yourself moving”

“What time is it?” Nez asked

“5.30” she replied “So we might get home before all the decent people are up and about”

“Why would they care?” Nerissa said “It’s not like we’ve done anything”

“Yes but they don’t know that”

 

Victoria folded the duvets and put them neatly on the sofa while Nerissa went to the loo and then when she returned they let themselves quietly out the front door.

 

It was very quiet as they walked along the Childean road, fortunately everyone in the village appeared to have started the day late, they didn’t talk much and when they did it revolved around their missed opportunities, but at least they managed to get home without being seen by anyone of any consequence.

 

Victoria and Nerissa stepped through the formers front door just after 6.30am and the first thing Vic did was to put the kettle on while Nerissa chose to sit down in the lounge and when she walked into the lounge with a mug of coffee in each hand Nez was sat snoring in the arm chair.

She set the drinks down on the table and said loudly

“Wake up!”

And Nerissa woke with a start and said.

“Why did you do that? I was having a lovely dream”

“Really?”

“Yes Jon was just about to snog my face off” she said

“Unfortunately I think that ship has sailed” Vic retorted

“Oh don’t say that” Nez said “if they didn’t like us they wouldn’t have looked after us”

“They were just being nice” Vic remarked

“Because they are nice” Nez pointed out

“I know they’re nice, that’s why I’m so cross with myself” she replied

“We embarrassed ourselves Nez, and I don’t know if I could face him after that”

“I think you’re wrong, I don’t believe for a second they will think any less of us” Nerissa said very definitely and then she added “and now I’m going to take first dibs on the shower”

“I hope she’s right” Victoria said after Nerissa had headed towards the bathroom.

 

At about the same time that Nerissa stepped in the shower, Jeff Hammett was rudely awoken from an erotic dream by a phone call.

“Hello” he said wearily

“Mr. Hammett?” a voice asked

“Yes that’s me”

“Sgt Webb, Downshire Police” he said “we have been informed of a suspected break in at the premises of Here, There & Everywhere, Removals”

“Ok” he said suddenly wide awake

“We have an officer on the scene” the Sgt continued “Can you attend?”

“Yes of course” he replied “I’ll be there as soon as I can”

 

He didn’t have time to shower, just a quick wash and clean his teeth and then he went quietly downstairs and grabbed his keys, before he left he put his head around the lounge door but was surprised to see that his guests had left, so he closed the door and went out to the car, which then wouldn’t start so he had to walk the two mile to the yard.

 

Nerissa was in the shower for an absolute age and Victoria was beginning to think her friend had fallen asleep, she wouldn’t have been surprised in the slightest.

“That girl can sleep anywhere” she said to herself

By the time she finally arrived back downstairs Victoria was starving so she suggested to Nerissa that they have a cooked breakfast and she agreed.

 

They were both ravenously hungry so Victoria went the whole hog, egg, bacon, sausage, fried bread, mushrooms and tomatoes, and they polished off every last morsel and as soon as the last mouthful was consumed and the cutlery was laid noisily on the plates Nerissa said

“Right go and get showered and we can go to St Mary’s”

“I’m not in a mood to rush Nez” she said “you go ahead and I’ll see you there”    

 

“Are you sure hon?” Nerissa asked as she stood by the front door

“Yes, I want to have a leisurely shower and not have to rush around” she replied “I’ll be about half an hour behind you”

“Alright then, I’ll see you soon hon” she said, kissed Vic on the cheek and left.

 

At the same time Nerissa was getting into her car to drive to St Mary’s Jeff Hammett was just locking up at the yard after having checked the premises with the attending Police Constable before starting the walk home.

 

Victoria had the long leisurely shower she craved and when she returned downstairs half an hour later she was wearing a pale green t-shirt with white cotton clam digger shorts and a pair of white pumps.

She went into the kitchen loaded the dishwasher, picked up her phone and keys, nodded to her reflection in the hall mirror and left the house.

 

Victoria got in the car and set off down the road towards St Mary’s and as she was driving along the Childean Road, she saw something that made her do a double take.

 

Victoria couldn’t believe her eyes, she was driving down the Childean Road towards St Mary’s Church and she saw Jeff Hammett walking along the pavement ahead of her.  

She drove past him to make sure it was him before she embarrassed herself again.

Victoria was a bit confused once she knew it was definitely him, as to why he was walking back towards his house, where had he been.

Had he even gone back to his house the night before?

Was he doing the walk of shame from some slapper’s house?

Victoria had to drive a hundred yards up the road before she could turn round.

She had another good look at him as she approached him from the opposite direction and then had to go another hundred yard before she could turn around again.

“Hi Jeff, Do you want a lift?” she called through the open window

“Yes please” he replied “Thank you”

She wanted to apologize for the night before but she was more interested in where he had been and if it turned out he had been with some slapper she wouldn’t bother with the apology so her first question was.

“Where have been at this time of day?”

“There was a break in at the yard” he replied “the police called me out early”

“Oh dear that’s not good” she said feeling a little guilty for her unkind thoughts.

“It was more vandalism than robbery in the end” he said

“Why are you walking though?” she asked

“My car wouldn’t start”

“So you had to walk?”

“I’m afraid so” he confirmed “anyway I wasn’t up as early as you were, you must have been up bright and early yourself”

“Ah, well early anyway” she said “But that was embarrassment”

“Why embarrassed”

“Because I was drunk and incapable”

 

“I’m really sorry for my condition last night, I don’t know what you must think of me, I mean us, it really wasn’t normal behaviour for me, us”

“Don’t be silly you have nothing to apologize for Jon and I weren’t much better” he lied

“That’s kind of you to say so”

“So where were you off to before you picked me up?” he asked

“I was going to meet Nerissa at St Mary’s”

“Really? Jon’s there as well”

“Is he?  How funny, so are you going yourself?” she asked hopefully

“That was the plan”, he said

“Are you a…” she began

“A what? A regular or a Christian?”

“Well both I suppose”

“Fairly to the first part and very much so to the second” he replied

“Much like me then” she said feeling rather encouraged until a thought popped into her head.

“You said that “was” the plan” she pointed out “So what’s the new plan”

“Ah yes well I rather thought as it’s such a lovely day I would go sailing instead” he said

“Oh I see” she said forlornly

“You could join me” he suggested

“Oh I’ve never been sailing” she said a little flustered

“Well there’s a first time for everything” Jeff remarked

“Am I dressed appropriately for it?”

Jeff gave her a long appraising look and said

“You’re perfect”

Which caused her to blush.

“What about Jon?” she asked “Won’t he mind?”

“No he doesn’t sail”

“Doesn’t he like it?

“No it’s not that” he replied “Jon can’t swim”

“Oh ok then I’d love to” Victoria said

 

After agreeing to go sailing with Jeff, Victoria pulled up outside his house.

“Do you want to come in while I get changed?” he asked

“Yes please” she said and switched off the engine “I really need to pee”

“Well now’s a good time” he said “Once we’re out on the water there’s nowhere to go”

While she was waiting for him to change Victoria texted Nez,

“Hi Hon, change of plan, going up to the lake, see you later Vic xxx

As he walked down the stairs Jeff sent a text to Jon

“Going sailing, Jeff”

When he arrived in the kitchen he was similarly dressed to her though he was tanned and toned and looked altogether more comfortable in shorts the she did with her white spindly limbs.

“Where do you go sailing exactly?” she asked after she had regained her composure.

“Teardrop Lake” he replied

“Teardrop Lake?” she exclaimed “Isn’t that private?”

“Yes but I have permission”

“Who from?” she asked suspiciously

“Peter Lutchford”

“What the film director?” she asked in disbelief

“Yes” he replied

“No honestly who?”

“Peter Lutchford” he repeated “he’s one of our biggest clients, and we got talking one day and I mentioned that I liked to sail and so he invited me up to the lake one Sunday and now he lets me use his dinghy whenever I want”

“Really?”

“Yes I just have to let him know when I want to sail and he says yay or nay”

“Oh I see”

 

As Jeff’s car was a non-starter, so to speak, they went in Victoria’s Fiesta

“Ok let’s go sailing” Jeff said 

“I don’t know where I’m going, so you’ll have to direct me, I know where Teardrop Lake is obviously, who doesn’t? But I don’t know where on the Lake we’re going or which house” she said at a hundred miles an hour.

“There’s no need to be nervous” he said “Sailing really is fun you’ll enjoy it a lot”

“It’s not the sailing that I’m nervous about” she said to herself

“Ok” she said

“I’ll direct you once we get close” Jeff said   

They drove through Shallowfield and turned into the lane that passed the Shallowfield Lodge Hotel and crossed the River Brooke as it flowed from the head of the lake and on towards Shallowfield, Mornington and beyond, and then the Lake was suddenly in front of them.

 

The lake was shaped like a teardrop, hence its name, and surrounded by the ancient woodland of the Dancingdean Forest.

It wasn’t a huge body of water, just over two miles long and almost a mile at its widest point.

But he thought it was simply beautiful and it remained relatively un-spoilt which was what made it so special.

The lake was surrounded by a perimeter road which gave access to the 12 significant dwellings that surrounded the lake.

Peter Lutchford and his half-sister Amanda Flanders lived at Forest Lodge on the southern side of the lake.

“Go right here” Jeff said

“Ok” she said

“It’s the 4th House” he added

“Will he be there today?” she asked “Mr. Lutchford”

“No he’s away for the day” he replied

“That’s a shame I would have liked to meet him”

“Well there’s always tomorrow” he remarked

“Why what’s happening tomorrow?”

“There’s a party at his house, fancy dress” He said

“This is it, Forest Lodge”

 

Victoria parked the car on the Lutchford’s drive and they both got out.

“Ok Victoria” he said and smiled,

“You look lovely by the way, I should have mentioned that before”

“Thank you” she said and blushed

“How are you feeling?” he asked

“I’m a bit nervous to be honest” she admitted “As I said I’ve never sailed before”

“Well just put yourself in my hands” he said

“I will when the opportunity presents itself” Vic said inside her head

“I’m very experienced” he continued

Victoria’s imagination began to run amuck about being in his experienced hands but her imaginings had nothing whatsoever to do with sailing.

They walked down the path from the car and then along the jetty and Jeff climbed down into a small single sail Dinghy and then he took Victoria’s hand to help her step in.

“Come aboard” he said

“Aye, Aye captain” she replied and gave him a salute.

“Excellent salute shipmate, you can be my first mate” 

“Yes please” she thought

“Can you swim?” he asked

“I thought we were going sailing” she said and laughed nervously

“If you’re nervous you can wear this” he said as he offered her a bright yellow buoyancy aid.

Victoria looked at it and its unflattering, unfeminine shape and decided that drowning would be preferable to wearing something that would give her the shape of the Michelin man.

Now she had finally got him on her own she was not prepared to present him with a shapeless silhouette.

“I’m a strong swimmer but if I do fall in you can rescue me” she said

 

It was a beautiful bright afternoon, the sun was hot and the breeze was quite stiff and she watched him deftly handle the boat getting the most out of the breeze until they were racing along.

 

Victoria had never been sailing before and nor had she ever been out on Teardrop Lake in any kind of vessel and the lakeside scenery was spectacular.

It was quite exhilarating with the wind blowing through her red hair and the spray cooling her face, and of course a gorgeous man at the tiller, that was even more pleasing to the eye than the scenery.

She really liked the latter even though they were at opposite ends of the boat but after about thirty minutes he called to her

“Are you having fun?”

“Yes it’s great”

“Well come down here and you can have a go?” he asked

“Can I?” she replied excitedly

Although the dinghy was small it was still of sufficient size to enable both of them to sit at the stern.

This meant Jeff could supervise her and give advice and guidance and more importantly from both their points of view it meant there was some bodily contact.

They spent the next two and a half hours out on the water together at the tiller skimming across the shimmering surface until they returned to the Lutchford’s jetty.

Jeff was the first one onto dryland and took Victoria’s hand and helped her out.

“I had a marvelous time” she said

“Me too” he said and suddenly they were face to face in the August sunshine when they were on the brink of a kiss, they both wanted to, but Jeff lost his nerve, fortunately Victoria was desperate to pee so all of a sudden she seized the moment and kissed him.

 

Jeff secured the dinghy and then Victoria drove him back to his cottage, where they had a long measured farewell kiss before she drove home hell for leather to share her good news with Nerissa. 

 

“Nez!” she called as she walked through the front door

“You’ll never guess what’s happened”

“Nez!” She repeated and then went into the lounge where she found her asleep and snoring in the armchair so she gave her a good shake.

“Wake up sleepy head” she said excitedly “Guess who I’ve been with today and guess who kissed me?”

“You’ve been snogging?” Nez asked rubbing her eyes “Who?”

“Jeff Hammett”

“That’s not fair, you’ve been snogging Jeff’s face off while I’ve been taking a siesta, you lucky swine” Nez said

“Well if you snooze you lose”

SWEETHEARTS

 

Put you trust in me my love

I will never let you down my dear

My darling, dry your tears

My angel set aside your fears

Our life together will be sublime

Sweethearts till the end of time

Sunday, 3 April 2022

Tales from the Finchbottom Vale – (04) The Reverend Edwards Daughter

 

Katie Edwards was the daughter of the Vicar of St Hilda’s in Forestdean and Mark Holt was the village “Jack the Lad” and apart from them both being 28 years old, they had nothing in common whatsoever.

Katie was a good Christian girl, whose life revolved around her widowed fathers Church and the associated parochial duties, Mark on the other hand was an agnostic, albeit a church going agnostic, but above all he was an unashamed hedonist.

Katie was steady, diligent, and chaste and was an innocent but Mark had no morals whatsoever but to his mind that was more than compensated for by a belt full of female scalps.

 

However all of that however seemed set to change when Mark was walking through the village one rainy morning.

“Hi Katie” he said

Katie Edwards was a very attractive young woman by any measure, with a warm open manner, a willowy figure, and shoulder length brunette hair, intelligent green laughing eyes and a broad toothy smile and altogether a very pleasant demeanour.

“Hello Mark” she replied “What’s brought you out into the rain”

Mark was tall, dark and muscular with wild gypsy eyes. 

“I’m avoiding mum,” he said trying to keep a straight face, Katie gave an understanding nod

 “And you?”

“The Miss Devonshire’s” she replied “it’s their turn to do the flowers” and she bowed her head with shame.

“I think we need to be fortified,” he said

“The Royal Oak?” she suggested

“I thought you were barred for calling the landlord a godless heathen,” he queried

“A simple misunderstanding” she assured him “I’ve forgiven him”

 

Due to the inclement weather the pub was almost deserted so they sat and unloaded their burdens on each other.

Mark detailed the haranguing his mother gave him for getting home at 3 am in a state of inebriation and she talked about how the Miss Devonshire’s were making her life a misery.

To make her feel better Mark revealed some rather unsavory gossip about her protagonists which made Katie feel much better as did the Guinness.

The alcohol also aided Katie to reveal more and more about herself and the more she drank the more she rambled.

The Guinness helped her speak a lot about time and sand running through her fingers and choices and not knowing.

He couldn’t really follow her train of thought all the time, the drink wasn’t helping and as neither of them had eaten since breakfast the beer took its toll very quickly and two hours later they were fortified as newts and he had to steer her through the pouring rain to the vicarage, and thankfully the rain was falling so hard that no one noticed their drunken progression.

Once he reached the front door he had to wedge her against the wall while he opened the door, unfortunately as the door swung open she fell into the hall.

Mark instinctively reached out and grabbed her in an effort to prevent her from hurting herself.

Unfortunately in trying to avoid grabbing anything intimate he only succeeded in falling to the floor before she did.

As a result Mark landed on his back and she landed on top of him.

“You know Mark if I wasn’t the Vicar’s daughter I’d shag you” she slurred before planting an almost Labrador like kiss on his mouth.

“And if I wasn’t a gentleman” he said after extricating himself from her embrace “I’d let you”

And then he struggled to his feet and helped Katie to do the same but as soon as she was vertical she said

“But you’re not a gentleman so there’s nothing stopping you”

And launched another assault on him and even put his hand on her breast before Mark regained control and steered her through the hall and into the sitting room and plopped her into an armchair and she immediately grabbed him by the lapels and planted another kiss on his mouth, a much more controlled and unhurried kiss than before.

He wondered as he was starting to reciprocate if she thought that having sex with a philanderer like him was sin free, making him like a vegetable in a slimmer’s diet plan, and then he broke away from her embrace again.

“But you are the Vicar’s daughter” he replied and kissed her on the forehead

“And you’re drunk” he added

“What’s that got to do with it?” she slurred

“Everything, because you wouldn’t want to shag me if you were sober”

“Oh yes I would” she said after he left.

 

On the short walk home Mark had mixed feelings, he felt rather proud of himself, after all Katie had offered it to him on a plate and he had turned it down, and not because he didn’t fancy her, on the contrary, and he also reflected on the wonderful kiss and how much he enjoyed it.

Katie ticked a lot of boxes for him and he was not possessed of any high moral principles, so why didn’t he take advantage of her was a mystery.

He didn’t have the foggiest idea why he didn’t accept her invitation to canoodle, it certainly wasn’t a lack of attraction on his part or even being put what she was wearing, he liked uniforms and outfits, and vestments certainly didn’t put him off.

Nor did he think it was because she was the Vicars daughter after all he had made many immoral choices in the pursuit of sexual gratification, so he was left with only one possible conclusion.

However having come to that conclusion he immediately dismissed it, it was the obvious conclusion but it had never happened before, so he wasn’t sure how to proceed in the new territory.

It was a strange feeling that he was experiencing which had hit him right out of the blue.

But strange though it was it was impossible to ignore because the genie was very much out of the bottle and there was no putting it back.

Mark never imagined in his wildest dreams when he escaped his mother’s scathing tongue that morning that bumping into Katie Edwards would turn his entire world upside down.

“Thank you the Miss Devonshire’s” he said aloud “Thank you for taking your turn to do the flowers”

But after his revelation he didn’t know where to go from that point.  

And more importantly he didn’t know if she would still be receptive to him without the aid of several pints of Guinness.

It was an interesting position for him to find himself in, caring whether or not a girl would come to her senses in the cold and sober light of day.

 

So when Katie knocked on his front door he knew it was a game changer.

“Hi” he said

“Hey Mark, I’m sober”

“So I can see, come in” he said “But I’m still not going to shag you”

“Really?” she said as she followed him inside

“Really” he confirmed

“But why?” she asked “it’s what you do isn’t it?”

“And that’s why I’m not doing it to you” he said

“I don’t understand” she said and sat down heavily on the sofa

“You’re better than that” he said “you deserve better than that and I’m not going to let you settle for less than you deserve”

“What does that mean?” she asked

“It means we are going on a date”

“A date?” Katie asked

“Yes, a date” he replied “and after we have dated for a while we can talk about the other stuff”

“Oh” she responded and then he kissed her