Tales from the Finchbottom Vale – (13) Familial Relativity

 Jonathon Masters felt as if his star was in the ascendency, his Web Design Business had finally taken off and he had landed a couple of plum contracts, one of which was a magazine publisher and the other was with the Big Cyril’s betting shop chain. However the news about his business’s new found success was not universally well received, his staff liked it, his bank manager was ecstatic about it but his mother was disgusted by it.

Furthermore his darling supportive mother said she would rather tell people he was in prison than tell them that he worked for pornographers and degenerates.

 

Jonathon lived alone on the outskirts of Forestdean at the Shallowfield end.

It was once a row of three forester’s cottages which had at some time been knocked into one to make a family sized house.

It was a very “nice” part of the village and certainly not somewhere he could have afforded to buy for himself even with the success of the business.

He was fortunate enough to live in a nice property in the well-heeled end of the village due the sudden if not altogether unsurprising death of his Uncle Jon.

Jon Coulson had no family of his own and had managed to alienate most of his extended family mainly because he was a “good time Charlie”, a hard drinking womanizer with the morals of an alley cat, so he had no one to inherit after his premature death, so as Jonathon was his favourite nephew he left it to him.

 

Because Jonathon was a single man he had far more space than he needed for himself so he decided to give up his tiny office space in Abbottsford and run his business from Kingfisher Cottage.

It was only him in the office most of the time as the four people who worked for him all worked from home anyway.

They only went to the office once or twice a month so after he closed the office they went to Forestdean instead.   

 

It suited him living alone in a quiet village, he wasn’t really a people person, and he kept his human interactions down to a minimum.

At 30 years of age his mother would have preferred him to have found himself a good woman to settle down with who would make him find a proper job.

But he had tried a proper job and the good woman and neither of them had worked out to his liking.

His only regular interactions with human beings were Rafa and Mirabel, his gardener and his cleaner, who were a middle-aged couple who seemed to work for half the people in the village, his monthly meetings with his staff and the occasional visit to his clients and there were trips to the Post Office and General Store other than that he communicated only with cyber space.

 

It was on a Friday, also known as gardening day, when Rafa did the garden that someone threw a rock into the tranquil pond that was his life.

So it was in the morning while he was making a cup of coffee and staring through the window watching the wiry Rafa pick up a planter as if it were made of polystyrene that the phone rang.

“Oh shit,” Jonathon said reading the caller ID.

“Hi mum, it’s really lovely to hear from you,” he said with as much sincerity as he could muster

“Hello Jonathon, you’re not getting any better at that are you dear? Listen I’ll get straight to the point, Auntie Leslie and Uncle Roland have asked if you could put Gemma up for a week, and I said yes on your behalf”

“You did what?” He said shocked

“You remember Gemma, you were inseparable when you were kids” she continued oblivious to his protest.

“Yes I do remember her but why the hell did you do that” He shouted

“Calm down Jonathon, for goodness sake, stop making such a fuss, she is family after all, and how bad can it be?”

She wasn’t family actually, the Auntie and Uncle in front of Leslie and Roland’s names were purely honorary titles, the Hughes family were just extremely close friends of his parents.

“The girl is doing a two week long secondment at O’Sullivan and Springthorpe and it will save her the cost of a Hotel” she continued

“But it’s not convenient” He protested

“It will interfere with my work”

“For goodness sake Jonathon you’re a web site designer, it’s not as if you’re close to curing cancer” she retorted

“You’ll have to call them back and say no,” he said firmly

“I can’t possibly do that; it will make me look foolish” she snapped

“But it’s really going to cramp my style” he said

“You haven’t got any style Jonathon especially since you started working for pornographers and degenerates” his mum retorted

“Now listen Jonathon this will really help to cement family relations, you know how bad things have been between the families, and how strained and difficult it’s been since Uncle John impregnated Roland’s sister Lucy”

“Look apart from the short notice and the inconvenience” He explained, “I don’t really want a stranger in the house”

“Nonsense she’s hardly a stranger you used to get on really well when you were children” his mum said

“But I haven’t seen her for 10 years” he responded, but he knew he was fighting a losing battle

“Gemma will be no trouble at all she was always a nice girl and you’ll hardly see her anyway” his mum said

“But she’s a stranger now” he pointed out

“She’s arriving Saturday,” she said hurriedly

“But” he interrupted

“Must dash, Bye” and she was gone.

“Bollocks” He said and put down the phone.

 

He spent the rest of the day wondering how he was going to cope with Gemma in his house, he even considered going to stay in a Hotel for the two weeks.

His Mum was right he and Gemma did get on well when they were kids, she was five years younger than him and yes there was a time when they were inseparable.

But what mum didn’t know was that when he was seventeen the 12-year-old Gemma tried to kiss him and that was only the first time, she tried kissing him at every opportunity until when she was 14 he found her half naked in his bed.

He didn’t know quite how her behavior might have escalated after that incident had fate not taken a hand.

And he was mightily relieved when Uncle Jon got Roland’s sister Lucy pregnant and the Masters and the Hughes stopped spending holidays together.

Now thanks to his interfering mother she was going to be staying under his roof for two weeks which was going to be quite embarrassing for both of them.

 

Saturday came and Uncle Roland and Aunty Leslie arrived to drop Gemma off, and it was a reunion totally lacking even an ounce of warmth, he offered them both a drink but they declined, and he was not disappointed when they did, as it meant they didn’t intend to stay long and he was right because five minutes later they kissed their daughter goodbye before perfunctorily thanking Jonathon for helping out and all at once they were gone leaving Gemma and him quite alone apart that is for the rather large elephant in the room.

As he suspected there was a palpable awkwardness between them and he got the distinct impression that she wasn’t any happier being his houseguest than he was to be her host.

Gemma was still as pretty as she was when he last saw her but she had lost the puppy fat of her teenage years and she was taller now about 5ft 6 with shoulder length blond hair.

He found himself thinking that it was a shame that she’d gone all “Bunny Boiler” on him as a teen.

But he wasn’t a shallow person he didn’t reject her advances because she was a little overweight, he always thought she was very cute, it was never about her physical form.

It was just that they were so very close and although there was no blood tie between them he always saw Gemma as more like a sister than a partner.

“Its very kind of you to do this” she said “Thank you”

“No problem” He lied

Then followed the first of the embarrassed silences as they stood together in the kitchen without the first idea what to talk about.

“Look I’ll give you a quick tour, show you where everything is, settle you in your room and then I’m afraid I need to get some work done, I have a deadline fast approaching” He lied again.

“Sure, I have some studying I need to do before Monday,” she said unconvincingly and then there was another embarrassed silence.

“Spare key” He said pointing to the table “just come and go as you please”

“Thanks Jonathon” she said

“You have the run of the house except my…” He began careful not to say bedroom “Office, that’s a definite no go”

She nodded her understanding and so he gave her the tour and carried her bag to her room.

“And this is your room, bathroom is next door, and I’m sorry but I really have to get on now” and he quickly turned and walked away.

“Thanks again” she called after him, and he was sure he heard her let out a sigh of relief.

Gemma was just as relieved as he was that the awkwardness was over and was equally happy that they would be seeing as little as possible of each other.

 

Gemma had exclusive use of the bathroom next to her room as Jonathon had an en suite so they managed very well to avoid one another, the occasional meeting on the stairs, a coincidental clash in the kitchen, contact minimal, conversation likewise, embarrassed silences kept to a bare minimum.

That was until Wednesday when they both happened to be going out the front door at the same time and although they both desperately wanted to; neither of them could, either think of an excuse to go back or didn’t have the time to, so they ended up walking into the village together.

The conversation was forced and painful and was littered with their stock in trade, the embarrassed silence, and they both sighed when they reached the parting of the ways, him towards the post office and her towards the railway station.

 

Although Jonathon was very content with his life and could fulfill the majority of his needs via the internet, there was one thing that could only be experienced in the flesh, ok there were two things but the primary one for Jonathon was the cinema.

There was nothing in cyberspace that could substitute for the pleasure of sitting in the darkened cinema to watch a movie on the big screen.

It was his only real concession to his way of life and while he was at the Post Office he bought a Shallowfield and Childean Chronicle which had amongst many other interesting things, the cinema listings.

He paid for his purchases and stood outside the shop and turned to the entertainment section of the paper, and smiled to himself when he read that the new Jurassic Park movie was showing at The Oasis Multiplex in Childean.

 

Later that evening he had a shower and shave and was preparing to spend the evening at the cinema to watch the latest Jurassic Park and indulge his guilty passion, when he remembered he had left his after shave in the main bathroom, he had been using the en suite since Gemma arrived for obvious reasons, but some of his things were still in there.

So he walked across the landing wearing a towel and without hesitating entered the main bathroom, walked to the sink, found his aftershave amongst all the feminine potions and powders that had appeared on the shelf and was just turning to leave as Gemma stepped naked from the shower, with water dripping from her treasures and running down her beautiful firm young body.

On reflection he knew he’d stood staring at her for longer than he should have but he struggled to draw his eyes away.

But when he realized he said,

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t think”

At which point she grabbed the towel and covered herself and he headed hurriedly out the door repeating

“Sorry, sorry, I’m so sorry” Until he reached the sanctuary of his bedroom.

He took his towel off and began dressing and all the while he was muttering to himself.

“Oh fantastic, that’s just what I need, as if having her in the house hasn’t been awkward enough, I have to see her naked”

He pulled his trousers up and added

“I don’t know what you were thinking just wandering in there, and did you have to stand and stare for quite so long?”

He sat down on the bed and began to pull his sock on.

“She was like your bloody sister” He said and then attended to his other sock

“And there you stood for God knows how long with your eyes sticking out like chapel hat pegs staring at her treasures”

He continued muttering to himself as he slipped his shoes on and as he opened the bedroom door he saw Gemma emerge from the bathroom all dry, perfumed and powdered and wearing a dressing gown.

“I’m…” he started to say but he felt himself flush and he was unable to finish the sentence and hurried down the stairs and straight out the front door more than half an hour earlier than he needed to, so he sat in the car and muttered to himself some more.

 

When he arrived at the Oasis Centre in Childean he was still quite early so he parked in the multistory and decided to go and have a drink in the theatre bar but went to the box office first as it was on his way, and he was grateful that he had because there were only a handful of tickets left for that performance so he chose the only aisle seat left. 

 

Despite getting to Childean 45 minutes early he almost missed the start of the film.

He had been sitting in the bar nursing a pint and trying, and failing, to get the naked images of Gemma out of his head and just when he thought they were gone they appeared again in full technicolor.

Quite apt really technicolored images at a multiplex though the irony was lost on him.

He ended up having to run to the cinema and the auditorium was in darkness when he went in and an usher showed him to his seat which he did with about 10 seconds to spare.

 

The film was every bit as good as he had hoped it would be and was enjoying it immensely to the point that it completely purged his mind of the naked images that had plagued him earlier.

He was so completely engrossed in the film everything else was excluded so when the creature struck even though he knew it was coming, he couldn’t help himself and he almost jumped out of his seat as did the person next to him.

His heart was in his mouth and he laughed when he got his breath back and when he turned to look at his neighbor he realized he was sitting next to Gemma.

Which gave him an almost bigger surprise than the film did but he relaxed when he realized firstly that he wasn’t hallucinating and secondly that she wasn’t naked.

“Oh Hello” she whispered

“Hi” he replied “I didn’t know you were coming”

“Well I wasn’t dressed for the cinema the last time you saw me”

She said and smiled

He returned her smile and then they returned their attention to the film.

 

There was no further conversation between them as they enjoyed the rest of the film but when the credits rolled and houselights came up and patrons began to head for the exits Gemma asked

“Did you enjoy it?”

“I did” he replied “It certainly lived up to my expectations, what about you?” 

“It was better for me” she replied “I was a bit of a cynic”

“Really?”

“Yes I thought it was just going to cash in on the franchise, but I was wrong” Gemma explained

There was a short embarrassed silence as they slowly filed out through the exit until, against his better judgement, he said

“Can I offer you a lift?”

“No, I don’t want to impose” she replied

“You’re already imposing by staying in my house” he said to himself, but he kind of felt obliged to offer her a lift home.

“Nonsense” he said “It’s not like I’m going out of my way”

“Well you don’t have to” she said “but thanks”

 

On the journey home the conversation was strained and Jonathon began to wish he had trusted his judgement.

Converse consisted of general small talk with each one struggling to find something to say and then when they were within 2 miles of their destination a Muntjac Deer leapt out from the forest and straight across the road in front of the car.

Jonathon reacted quickly and swerved to avoid the deer but in doing so two wheels mounted the soft verge and he lost control and the car came to rest in a ditch.

After he had got his wits back he checked on his passenger who was on the side of the car that bore the brunt of the impact.

“Are you ok?” he asked

“Yes, yes, I’m fine” she replied “I just banged my head a bit”

He gave her head a cursory check but could see no blood,

So happy that she was not injured he tried to drive out of the ditch but it was to no avail and he resigned himself to the fact they would have to walk the last mile and a half or so.

The car was lying at a 45 degree angle with two wheels in the ditch so with some difficulty he got out of the car.

Once he was out he held the door open with his body and offered his hand to Gemma.

She took his hand and he pulled her slowly out of the car.

Once outside the vehicle they still needed to get up to the road which was about ten yards away up a gently sloping grass bank.

The problem was the grass was wet under foot and neither of the were dressed appropriately for climbing out of ditches so as they climbed gingerly up the bank they took it in turns to fall over on the muddy grass.

Time and time again they had to help each other up until Jonathon finally got one foot on firmer ground.

But before Gemma could do likewise she stumbled and as Jonathon tried to catch her they both fell to the floor and as they sat on the wet grass laughing like children Gemma took her chance and kissed him.

And unlike her previous attempts during her adolescence she met with no resistance.

“I’ve wanted to do that since I was 12” Gemma said when she came up for air and laughed before kissing him again

“Was that worth waiting 12 years for?”

“Oh God yes” she replied

“Even if you’d fancied me back when I was 12 it wouldn’t have been a kiss like that” she said and licked her lips “Not when we were only kids”

“I never said I didn’t fancy you” he pointed out

“Then why did you react the way you did when I tried to kiss you?” she asked but before he had chance to respond she added

“And that last time when you found me in your bedroom?”

“In my bed” he corrected her

“Alright in your bed” she conceded

“Naked in my bed” He corrected her again

“Half naked” she snapped “I had pants on and a bra”

“Why a bra? You were flat chested when you were 14” he asked

“Ok I admit it, the bra was purely cosmetic” she said “But why?”

“You were like my kid sister” he said

“What do you mean?” she asked

So he told her the whole story, all about the feelings he had for her, how he thought she was cute and why he acted as he did.

And after digesting all of what he had told her she said  

“So let me get this right, it wasn’t that you didn’t fancy me when you so cruelly rejected my advances, it was because you thought of me as a sister?”

“Yes” he replied

There was a prolonged silence then she spoke

“And now?”

“Not so much” Jonathon mused

“Which part?”

“The sister part”

“Oh” she responded and he kissed her.

“So what do we do now?” she asked

“Well I think we should get up off the wet grass and go home and discuss it some more” he replied

“Will that involve kissing?” Gemma asked

“Undoubtedly” he replied as he got to his feet and offered her his hand

“Then I heartily concur” Gemma responded and took his hand.

BETRAYAL

 

In your dark betrayal, you have destroyed

Everything in my life that mattered

What I thought was solid, is now gone

Because of you our love was shattered

Like a thousand mirrored fragments

Each precious memory now scattered

Reflects back all those moments of deceit

My self-respect left torn and tattered

Tales from the Finchbottom Vale – (12) The Girl in the Poppy Print Dress

 

The day began very early for Jerry as he reluctantly prepared to leave the arms of his lover, it was first light and the dawn chorus was in full voice.

His real name was Julius Jeremiah Damien Quinton-Snape, which he always thought was like something out of Charles Dickens novel with a hint of Hogwarts thrown in for good measure, he thought he would probably be a villain though knowing his luck.

He hated his name, Julius was so old fashioned, and he also hated Damien because of its association with the antichrist, so he used his middle name Jeremiah which he didn’t like very much better but he shortened it to Jerry and everyone assumed falsely that it was short for Jeremy, but he didn’t enlighten them.

As he prepared to slip out of her bed she rolled over and put her arm across his chest.

“Don’t go Jez” she implored

“I have to Marti” he replied “I’ve got a long drive ahead of me”

They were in her room at the Seaview Hotel in Sharpington-By-Sea where she was staying for the Easter Weekend with a group of friends.

“Oh stay a bit longer” she begged and she kissed his chest

“I wish I could honey” he said as he kissed her on the forehead.

He really did want to stay with her but he had a wedding to go to in Abbottsford, a family wedding to boot, that required his attendance, on pain of death according to his mother.

He picked up her phone from the bedside table and tapped in his own number, and sent a text to himself so they then both had each other’s numbers.

Although he had to leave she and her friend’s weren’t leaving until Monday.

 

He had only met her the day before and he’d fallen head over heels for her at first sight.

Jerry arrived in Sharpington-By-Sea on Thursday for a stag do and he had met Marti, the girl in the poppy print dress on Friday morning at a coffee shop on the pier.

He was preparing for the long drive home with an Americana to go and she was in front of him ordering a Macchiato but they got talking and sat and drank their coffees at a table outside and ended up spending the whole day together, and the night.

They hit it off immediately and it was like they’d known each other all their lives.

 

It was funny how thing worked out he hadn’t gone to Sharpington to meet someone, in fact if truth be told he hadn’t really wanted to go at all, he wasn’t particularly close to the groom, but he was family and according to his mother that was what counted.

But having met someone, which was unexpected in itself, everything that followed was not only unexpected in was completely out of character.

He was not the sort of person to do things on a whim, he was an accountant and therefore by definition a planner.

Very definitely not a make it up as you go along kind of guy.

Nor was he the sleep with the first girl you meet type of guy so the event’s in Sharpington on the Good Friday were quite significant for him, and he hoped for her also.

 

On the long drive home Jerry couldn’t get Marti out of his thoughts and by the time he reached his flat in Abbottsford he was convinced that she was the one, she fitted the template perfectly, so logically she had to be the one.

He had carried the “template” with him, etched into his brain almost since the moment of his sexual awakening.

Long brown hair falling across her shoulders in generous waves, hazel eyes, intelligent, warm and full of familiarity that screwed tight shut when she laughed.

A pretty face, which hers was, pretty but at the same time full of imperfections, an aquiline nose, a small scar above her right eye, a lopsided smile and freckled cheeks.

An exquisitely defined jawline as if chiseled from marble and a strong and resolute chin.

She was also very tall, as tall as him in her heels and he was six-foot two, and slim as a willow and lithe as a dancer.

But all of that was purely superficial, just an accident of heritage, what made Marti special and by extension “the one” was that she was funny, intelligent, insightful, caring, romantic and grounded.

In fact she was so obviously the one because she ticked every single box, plus numerous other boxes that he hadn’t even known existed until he met her.

Jerry wasn’t exactly sure where that template came from but he had always had it and he had begun in recent years to wonder if he would ever meet the girl to fit it or if indeed such a girl even existed but that was before he met the girl in the poppy print dress.

 

He got back to his flat in plenty of time to change for the wedding and drive to Childean to pick up his mum who was wearing a spectacularly ridiculous hat.

The wedding at St Andrew’s Church passed off without a hitch and the reception at the Dancingdean Spa Hotel was very lavish but he spent much of that happy day in Childean wishing he was somewhere else and he cursed his luck at having to be there.

“Why did I have to meet her this weekend of all weekends” he pondered, but then if it hadn’t been that weekend he wouldn’t have been in Sharpington in the first place.

“Why didn’t I invite her to the wedding?” he asked himself

“No that wouldn’t have worked” he concluded “He wasn’t ready to introduce her to his mum, that would just frighten her away”

He decided to just feel grateful that he had met her and to look forward to the moment he would see her again.

 

However there was a fly in the ointment because although the wedding all went off according to plan there was from his point of view a distinct downside on the whole day and that was that he couldn’t get a phone signal which drove him crazy so he wasn’t able to get through to Marti at all.

 

On Sunday and Monday there were a succession of family farewells and hug fests as Jerry waved goodbye to three generations of his extended family and after the four day weekend was over it was back to work in the thrilling world of accountancy.

It seemed especially tedious on that particular Tuesday because his mind was elsewhere.

He began the day by trying to get hold of Marti on the phone again but he had no more good fortune than he done at the weekend.

 

All week long they kept missing each other on the phone and for the first half of it they communicated solely by voice mail if you can call it communication.

Marti was in lectures at Abbottsford University all week and had several approaching deadlines and for Jerry it was the financial year end for the company he worked for so Jerry was having to work late every night and spend a disproportionate amount of time in meetings with department managers, accountants and auditors.

He was reassured however that she seemed to be every bit as anxious to talk to him as he was to talk to her.

If it hadn’t been such a hellish week at work he would have driven back down to Sharpington to see her, but that wasn’t an option, firstly because he was just too busy but the main reason was because she wasn’t there.

Unfortunately he didn’t know where she was living in Abbottsford so he couldn’t go and see her there. 

So they both kept ringing one another and they both kept missing each other so by Thursday he was getting increasingly frustrated by his failure to make contact with her and he could tell by her tone that she was too.

Then he had a brain wave and he texted her his email address and then he cursed himself and his stupidity for not thinking of it earlier.

He just hoped she would see it in the same light as he did and they could finally converse and makes plans that didn’t consist of talking to each other’s voice mail.

Luckily he needn’t have worried, Marti thought it was a great idea and wished that she had thought of it and then the email traffic flowed between them and the volume and content was quite epic and were tantamount to love letters and woven amongst the sentimental words of love were the minutiae of the everyday, the mundane and the ordinary that would make up the fabric of their budding relationship. 

But despite the fluidity of the email traffic they were still no nearer actually seeing each other face to face.

 

On Saturday Jerry had to work a 12 hour day to put the finishing touches to the yearend accounts and on Sunday it was his mum’s birthday so he had planned to spend the whole day with her.

However he had at least finally succeeded in talking to Marti and it turned out that she was tied up all weekend as well.

But they were both hopeful that the following week would offer an opportunity for them to actually get together.

 

Jerry picked his mum up from Childean on Sunday morning and took her to St Andrew’s Church and afterwards out for lunch to The Huntsman’s Lodge restaurant and from there he drove her home and then went inside to have tea with her.

“Put the kettle on Julius” she said and he winced at the sound of his name said out loud but he duly obliged and while he was in the kitchen there was a knock at the door.

His mum answered the knock and an exchange of exited chatter ensued.

He recognized the other voice to be that of Aunty Erin, she wasn’t really an auntie just a long standing family friend who was particularly close to his mum.

Jerry hadn’t seen her since he was at school, but throughout his childhood she and her family had featured extensively in his life.

“I thought I would just pop in and wish you a happy birthday dear” Erin said

“And I brought Sonja along to say hello, she’s just back from University for the weekend”

Jerry’s heart sank, he remembered Sonja very well, she was younger than him by about 4 years and she was a clumsy gawky girl who used to trail around after him.

She was a blight on his childhood summer holidays.

“Oh it’s so lovely to see you Sonja” his mum said

“Julius is in the kitchen”

He winced again at the use of his name and a moment later Jerry got his first sight of the young woman called Sonja, narrow hipped, round pert buttocks, small breasts, firm to the touch and soft-silky skin.

And that last part wasn’t wishful thinking either, he knew this to be true and not merely a fanciful notion, because it was her bed he had reluctantly vacated the previous weekend and as if to dispel any doubts she was wearing the same poppy print dress she wore when they first met.

“I thought it would be nice for them to see each other again” Erin said

It was nice to see her, he thought but not as nice as it was the last time they met.

So Marti was actually Sonja Martl, he didn’t realize the clumsy gawky girl Sonja of his childhood as the same girl who called herself Marti who he’d made love to in Sharpington.

She went by the name of Marti because so many people misread or misspoke her surname and so that name stuck.

So it turned out they really had known each other for ever, that’s why she seemed to fit the template, because she was the template.

“So you’re Julius” Marti said

“And you’re Sonja” Jerry responded

“It’s nice to see you again” she said formally “After all these years”

“Yes, perhaps we might go out while you’re home and catch up” he replied and then he whispered

“Did you know?”

Marti just shook her head in the negative and said

“Yes that would be nice”

OUR LOVE IS TOUGH

 

Our love is tough

Our love is strong

Made in England Apropos

As strong as tungsten steel

It’s as hard as granite rock

It won’t melt away like the April snow

It’s made of sterner stuff

The only thing that will break it

Is if we let it go

Tales from the Finchbottom Vale – (11) The Highfinch Summer Ball

 

George Vineyard lived in a 19th Century cottage in the Hamlet of Lily Green but it was about to be relegated in status to his weekend home as his clock restoration business was moving from Purplemere to Mornington Field.

“Time and Time Again”, as it was now called, was the latest manifestation of the family business that had been at the same premises in Purplemere for over a hundred years and the Vineyards had been in Purplemere since before the Civil War, almost as long as the St Georges had been at Mornington Manor.

But things were changing in the county and the only place left in Downshire that had any respect or deference to tradition was Mornington and that was thanks to the St George family.

 

When the Old RAF Base became defunct and the land returned to the stewardship of the Mornington Estate plans were set in motion to convert the old Ministry of Defence buildings into commercial or residential properties.

Time and Time Again was moving into the former and the Vineyard Family were moving into one of the latter.

 

His home would remain in the Hamlet of Lily Green, which he would return to on the weekends, but Monday to Friday he would live with his sister Rebecca and her family, who had moved into one of the Military Row Houses in Mornington.  

He planned to spend weekends in Lily Green for two reasons firstly to give Rebecca family time without a lodger under her feet and secondly in order to indulge his passion for Golf.

Situated in Mornington he was actually closer to Forest Ridge in Forestdean and it was an ok course but it wasn’t Lily Green Hollows.

His other great passion besides Golf was Tallulah St George.

Tallulah was among other things the property manager for the Morning Estate, a role that had got increasingly busier with the reacquisition of the Mornington Field.

Her elder brother Gabriel was the Lord of the Manor but she and her three sisters, Elspeth, Cordelia and Corliss all played a part in the Estates running along with Philomena Cruickshank better known as Aunty Phil.

 

They met during the previous summer when she was staying at her brother’s house in Highfinch for a week in August.

Tally also had a passion for Golf and although neither of them were looking for it they fell in love on the Lily Green Hollows Golf Course.

 

However the following few months had been quite tricky for the couple and their burgeoning relationship, living in different villages and only seeing each other every other weekend.

The maxim that absence made the heart grow fonder was certainly wearing thin.

Her days at Mornington were long and busy, with new tenants moving in almost every week and the new business units were filling up fast.

Georges life consisted of maintaining normal service during business hours and then spending seemingly endless additional hours sorting through over a hundred years’ worth of clutter.

 

One of the families to move into Mornington effected both Tally and George as his sister in law Rebecca Vineyard and her family moved into number 17 Military Row in December.

Their lodger, George moved in to Rebecca’s at the end of January when he moved his business, “Time and Time Again”, into what used to be the old West Guard House.

 

“Time and Time Again” opened for business at Mornington Field on the 2nd of February, not that the majority of their customers would have even been aware that they had moved.

At least the timepiece owners anyway, most of their work came from Jeweler’s shops all over Downshire and even beyond.

Although an increasing amount of work was coming their way via the internet.

George Vineyard employed two full time staff, Dennis Thorpe,  who was approaching retirement, although nobody expected him to ever retire, and Brian Brushwood who was twenty years his junior.

In addition he also employed his niece Erica as an apprentice, she was a natural and would fill the position that would be left if Dennis ever did hang up his tools and Erica’s younger sister, Donna, also worked for him during her free time from University.

 

If George and Tally thought that finally living in the same village would give them more time to spend together, they were sadly mistaken.

George and his staff were inundated with a sudden influx of new business and they had to pull out all the stops just to keep up.

What he didn’t realize was that Lord of the Manor Gabriel St George, elder brother of Tallulah, had made some calls to drum up some extra business, meaning well but unaware that it would have adverse effect it had on his sister’s relationship.

It wasn’t solely born out of nepotism he did it for all the businesses that began trading from Mornington Field.

 

When the properties in Mornington first became available Gabriel instructed Lyndon-Sanders Properties of Shallowfield to find tenants, within his strict guidelines stating that priority was to be given to local people or to people with ties to the area.

Lyndon-Sanders managed properties for the Estate all over the Vale but those in close proximity to the village were managed directly by the Estate, namely Tallulah. 

Her contact with the agents was Michele Johnson Higham who had done a sterling job finding tenants for the commercial properties as well as some of the accommodation but as property manager for the Estate, Tallulah formally took over the administration from January 1st but Vicki continued to work closely with Tally for the rest of January for continuity and then she was on her own.

 

So with their combined workloads February was a wash out romantically speaking.

There was no point in trying to catch a moment together at the Manor because there were always people coming and going and there was a houseful at Rebecca’s.

They did manage to squeeze in a round of Golf at Forest Ridge, an inferior course compared to Lily Green but the company was of the highest quality, but that was as good as it got.

 

And that was what they had to settle for, quality rather than quantity, which they reluctantly had to accept but they knew it was only a matter of time before things would change and they were right because by the time March came around they were able to get back to the Cottage almost every weekend and on occasion they even left it to play Golf.

 

March also brought good news for Rebecca Vineyard, it was a big step for her moving the whole family to Mornington but she understood it was for the best.

George greatly admired his sister in law and he couldn’t have loved her more if she were his own flesh and blood.

Her husband, Bill, his older brother, dismayed the whole family when he went off to find himself before their third child was born and he hadn’t been heard from for the 17 years since.

Being abandoned with two children under four and the arrival of a third imminent, would have broken a lesser mortal, but Rebecca was made of sterner stuff.

Fortunately Rebecca controlled the purse strings so when Bill went all hippy on her to find himself he had to do so without her financial contribution.

That isn’t to say that it wasn’t a struggle she had to work for a living.

George was only 14 when Bill did a runner but as soon as he was able he helped her out financially, but she was not a charity case so he couldn’t do it with her knowledge, he had to help her by getting her paid work.

But that was in Purplemere, where he knew people, in Mornington he was the new kid on the block.

 

However his girlfriend wasn’t and she was able to get her temp work at one of the new businesses, Paige Turner’s.

And as many of her temp jobs had in the past it soon became permanent because of her hard work.

 

In April, Tallulah and George manage even more time together with extended trips to Lily Green, especially over the Easter Holiday and with two bank holiday weekends in May the trend continued and their relationship was going from strength to strength and the love between them was deepening.

 

Which was what made the events of the 10th of June a few days before the Summer Ball all the more baffling.

They were due to meet for lunch at the Old Mill Inn as they did every day, which was the highlight of the day for both of them, an oasis in a desert of longing.

But instead of him receiving the usual text message to say she was on her way his phone rang instead.

“Hey Hon” he said “I’m just about to leave”

“I can’t make it” she said flatly

“How come?” he asked. 

“I need to go up to Michael’s this afternoon” she replied

“Is everything ok?”

“Yes everything’s fine it’s just some family business” she lied

“Can’t we have lunch before you go?” he asked

“No I need to leave straight away”

“I could take the afternoon off and come with you if you like” he offered

“No there’s no need” she said forcefully

“Oh ok” he said “When will you be back?”

“I won’t be, I’ll just stay up there until after the Ball” she replied

“Oh” he said with surprise “I’ll see you at the cottage on Friday then”

“I’m not staying at the cottage, I’ll be staying at Michael’s” Tally said matter of factly

“I’ll see you on Saturday”

And with that she hung up.

 

The countryside of the Vale was very beautiful but as he got closer to the Pepperstock Hills it got even more so.

Unfortunately it was all wasted on George Vineyard.

He had made that trip to the Hamlet of Lily Green on the edge of the Pepperstock Hills many times before, but on that Friday afternoon in June his mind was otherwise occupied.

He wasn’t expected in Highfinch until Saturday but he was anxious to see Tallulah and couldn’t wait.

 

The Highfinch Summer Ball at the Lily Green Hollows Golf Club was one of the “jewels in the crown” of Downshire events, second only to the Lord Lieutenant’s Ball but it paled into insignificance compared to seeing the love of his life.

 

It was the Summer Ball the next day and he still had no idea what he had done to upset Tallulah or why she had decided to stay at Michaels.

But as he crossed the 3rd fairway he caught sight of Tally standing alone by the trees that separated Michael’s House and the course and she was wearing a thoughtful expression.

He quickened his stride and as luck would have it, or so he thought, he caught her eye and gave her a wave, but instead of waving back she ignored him and hurried away.

“That’s very odd” he thought and quickened his pace even more but when he got to Michael’s there was no sign of her.

 

He went inside and spoke to Michael but he told George he hadn’t seen her, but he invited George inside and went to check upstairs.

It was half an hour later when he stepped back out into the sun and he spotted Tallulah again this time by the 3rd green.

So he approached her on her blindside so she couldn’t run off again before he reached her.

When he was a few feet away he said

“I think you’ve been avoiding me”

Tallulah jumped and immediately became flustered

“No, no not at all” she corrected him

“I think you have,” he repeated “why?”

Tally didn’t say anything for about a minute

“Please tell me Tally,” he entreated

“You’re imagining it,” She snapped

“But I’m not” he said “And I don’t understand, have I done something wrong? If I have, then tell me what it is”

“How like a man” She shouted and hurried away but stopped and turned after a few paces and said

“Believe it or not, not everything is about you, George”

And then she was gone, he thought for a moment before he hurried after her

“Tally?” he called after her but she kept going so he pressed on after her instead.

When he caught up to her Tallulah was stood by the trees at the end of Michael’s garden.

“What on earth is going on?” he asked and took hold of her hand

“Why can’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Because I need to think” she replied and squeezed his hand

“Just give me some time to think”

“Ok” he said reluctantly

“But you can’t avoid me Tally, or exclude me”

“I won’t” she said, “and I promise we’ll talk after the Ball”

Then she kissed him and turned away and a black cloud followed him as he walked back to his cottage.

 

On Saturday he spent the whole day on the course taking his frustrations out on the ball and after 36 holes he had carded his worst scores ever on the Lily Green Hollows course.

 

George was very anxious to get to the club and more importantly he was very anxious to see Tallulah so he arrived at 7.15pm.

In his dinner suit, complete with cummerbund and bow tie, although he was so nervous about the evening that he had to wear a clip on bow tie.

He was greeted by the sight of an array of stunningly turned out women, not one of whom was Tallulah St George.

So while killing time he mingled with the assembled group. 

The guest list for the Ball was very exclusive, and was by invitation only, so subsequently every one made the best of the opportunity to dress up to the nines.

He bumped into one stunner after another, beginning with Willow, the pretty young daughter of the family who lived next to him in Lily Green, and her best friend Karen.

They were both stunningly beautiful and wearing the expensive designer evening dresses.

“Hello Willow” he said, “you look beautiful”

She blushed terribly and he turned his attention to her friend

“You’re also looking stunning Karen”

Next he ran into the Braithwaite’s, the Callan’s, and the Drake’s which was when Jo Hazelton joined him, she was the next-door neighbour of William St George, and was a hugely popular character in fact she was the original all round good egg and she was looking very shapely, in an expensive gown, but he suspected a body shaper was being manfully employed but none the less she looked very nice.

“Hello George” she said “You look lost”

“I was looking for Tally” He said

“I haven’t seen her yet” she confessed and then they moved onto the small talk which ebbed and flowed until he spotted Tally in a dark blue dress heading towards the ladies so he made his excuses and left the group he was chatting with and positioned himself on the side of the room nearest to the ladies room that Tallulah had frequented and drifted around on the fringes of growing groups of guests, not really following the conversation until she reappeared and when she did he intercepted her.

“Tallulah!” he called

“Hello darling” she said unconvincingly and there was an awkward kiss.

“So have you done your thinking?”

“Not really” she replied and then added

“I’ll see you at the table”

And with that she disappeared into the melee.

That was not what he was hoping to hear and it seemed as if his worst fears were being realized.  

George wandered over to the seating plan to find out what table he was on and who his dining companions were and when he got there he found a familiar face standing there, Jo Hazelton

“Hello Jo we’re going to have to stop meeting like this you know”

“No chance of that I’m afraid” she said laughing “we’re on the same table”

“Really?” he said “how funny”

“Who else have we got?”

“Well there’s Laura and Geoffrey Hunt, Shirley and Mick Collins, me and Phil, Michele and Victor Braithwaite, and you and Tally” she said

“Well that’s probably the best table in the room” George said

“I agree” Jo said proudly

Then she stuck her arm through his and said

“You may escort me to my table good sir”

“My pleasure madam” he responded

 

Tallulah didn’t arrive at the table until a few moments before service began and sat silently next to him.

It turned out to be a very lively table with the exception of George and Tallulah who barely said a word.

Though as the evening wore on, under the table she was being very tactile, every opportunity she got she was squeezing his thigh or brushing his leg with hers even holding his hand under the table.

 

The only people from on their table who didn’t seem to enjoy it were Michele’s husband Victor and Phil Hazelton who seemed totally bored with the whole affair.

Victor complained about everything and Phil refused to join in and communicated in monosyllables.

Jo was not at all pleased with Phil and made no secret of it and he soon deserted Jo to go and celebrate with Victor with their cronies in the member’s bar.

As a result Jo got shit-faced drunk, quite untypical behaviour and Michele, in order to give moral support got ratted as well.

So by 12.15am Jo was in trouble, she had gone to the loo sometime earlier and was found in the ladies and could barely walk.

Word was sent to the member’s bar for Phil to come but he just brushed it off and continued drinking in the same vein.

So it was decided that she should be taken home, Michele volunteered but could hardly stand herself so Tally suggested to George that as they were both relatively sober and Michele and Jo’s houses both backed on to the 18th Fairway they could take them home on a Golf buggy.

So as discreetly as possible and with the aid of one of the waitress’s they sneaked the casualties out the back door nearest to where the buggies were parked.

They put Michele in the front passenger seat and Tallulah got in the driver’s seat then he put Jo behind her and he sat behind Michele so he was in the best position to prevent either of them from falling off.

“Ok let’s go,” George said

“George? I’ve never actually driven one of these before”

“Why did you get behind the wheel then?” he asked

“I don’t know” she said “I didn’t think”

“Ok well you’re there now so turn the key” he instructed

“Check” Tally said in a deep simulated pilot’s voice

“Now select forward”

“Check”

“Hand brake off”

“Check”

“Depress accelerator”

“Cheeeeeck” she shouted and the buggy shot forward

“Wow this is great,” she said while George was so concentrated on preventing the ladies from falling off that he was nearly ejected himself.

“Steady Jensen” He said

“Sorry” she said “but this is fun”

About half way along that part of the 18th fairway there was a wide opening that allowed egress through the woods, which eventually arrived at the end of an old cart lane.

This in turn led between two cottages; one of them being Jo’s.

We had to go that way because the woods were too thick to fit the buggy through anywhere else.

“Head towards the lane Tal” he said “and put your lights on”

“I have lights?” Tally asked, “Cool”

“Where’s the switch?”

“Next to the key” he said

“Got it”

It was a bright moonlit night so out on the open fairway they could manage without lights, but once amongst the trees it would be a different story.

Tallulah drove through the trees and stopped in the lane at the back of the Hazelton’s home.

 

“You hold onto Michele and I’ll take Jo in,” he told Tallulah

“Ok”

He didn’t want to take her to the front door in case any of the neighbours saw her in that condition as it was such untypical behaviour for her.

Now Jo wasn’t a big woman but she didn’t make life easy for him, she kept going limp so he had to keep grappling with her all of which took him longer than he anticipated getting her to the back door so in the end he picked her up and carried her.

The lights were still on downstairs so George put her down and pinned Jo between the wall and him while he knocked on the glass.

It was only a moment or two before the outside light went on and the door opened soon after.

It was one of her teenage sons, Callum,

“I’m sorry Callum she’s had a bit too much to drink”

“Who is it Cal?” Came another voice, this time it was David the oldest boy

“Its mum” Callum answered “come and help”

“Where’s my dad?” David asked

“We sent someone to find him…” George couldn’t think what else to say

“But he didn’t want to leave his cronies” David finished and George nodded

“Well thanks Mr. Vineyard we appreciate it,” said Callum

“Not a problem really” he said, “She’s one of the angels you know?”

He nodded proudly

“Thanks” said David and shook his hand

When he got back to the buggy Tallulah was struggling to restrain Michele.

“She keeps saying she wants to go in the woods to find her lover”

“Is that you Quentin?” Michele slurred

“Who’s Quentin?” George asked

“I have no idea” Tally replied

“Ok back in the buggy and I’ll take you home” George instructed

“Yes Quentin you can take me anywhere any time” she slurred again.

Tallulah steered the buggy along the wooded track and headed towards the back of Michele’s cottage.

Tally turned the lights off and George picked Michele up in a fireman’s lift, there was nothing of her as she was a small slim

Woman.

Tally opened the gate and led the way down the path.

Michele didn’t have children so they had to get her inside.

“Where does she keep the key?” Tally asked

“Look under the statue” he suggested

So Tally moved the statue and the key was indeed beneath it

“How did you know?” she asked

“That’s where I would have put it”

Tallulah unlocked the door, stepped in and turned the light on.

“Take her straight to the bedroom” Tally ordered

“Ok”

Once they found the right room he laid her on the bed and asked

“Should we take her dress off?”

“No pervy” she replied with a giggle “I think I’ve got it from here thank you”

“Ok” he said and left her to it and went down to the kitchen.

He was sweating a bit so he undid his bow tie and tucked it in his jacket pocked then he attended to the top buttons on his dress shirt.

When Tally returned downstairs she turned off the kitchen light and as he opened the back door Tally shivered so he chivalrously gave her his jacket, which reached down to her knees and as she stepped out into the garden she kissed him gently, just once but incredibly tenderly.

Afterwards she held his hand as they walked back to the buggy.

 

When George and Tally reached the buggy they kissed again before climbing on board and prepared to drive up the track with Tallulah in the driving seat again.

But before they set off she turned to him and smiled and then she kissed him once again.

They’d gone about a hundred yards before they realized she didn’t have the lights on.

“Put the lights on” he said

“I can see fine” she replied

“I’m like a cat” and then she made a little clawing gesture accompanied by a growl.

They emerged onto the fairway and she headed in entirely the wrong direction from the club.

“Where are we going?” he asked

“We’re going for a ride in the moonlight” Tally said

“Very romantic”

“Yes but where are we going?” George asked

“We’re going to the place where we had our near miss” Tally answered “We need to talk”

The previous year before they first got together they had a close encounter in the woods but neither of them had the courage of their convictions to take a chance. 

Which was why they finished up by the 17th green where she parked the buggy right on the tree line close to the entrance to the clearing where they almost had their first kiss.

“So why here?” he asked “Why not in the woods by the 18th fairway where we actually kissed?”

“Because this was the place I first knew that I loved you” she replied and squeezed his hand and then they kissed in the moonlight.

“But do you still love me?” he asked

“Yes, yes” she said urgently “Of course I do”

“So why have you been avoiding me then?”

“Because something has happened” she said falteringly

“Something?” he said “Something? Good or bad?”

“Something that might drive a wedge between us” she replied

“Why what’s happened?” he said with concern, fearing the worst, was it an old flame, an affair or something even worse.

Tallulah looked at him and took a deep breath and blurted out

“I’m pregnant”

“What?” he exclaimed

“I’m pregnant” she repeated

“You’re pregnant?” he asked

“Yes” she replied looking at her hands

“You’re pregnant?” he repeated

“She’s pregnant” he shouted to the moon and then he kissed her

“You’re pregnant” he whispered to her so tenderly “That’s fantastic”

“Is it?” she asked doubtfully

“Don’t you think so?” he asked

“Yes, I do” she confirmed “I wasn’t sure you would think so”

“But it’s the most amazing thing” he said

“So you’re not angry?” Tally asked

“Why would I be angry?”

“Because we never talked about children” she said

“Well I am a little angry” he admitted

“I knew it” she said sadly

“I’m angry that you kept it from me” he said and kissed her softly “We are a couple, we share everything good or bad, ok?”

“Ok” she agreed

“So you’re not going to keep anything from me again are you?”

“No, never again” she promised

“From now on we share everything” he said “Because that’s what married people do”

“Ok” she said and then when the penny dropped she added

“What did you say?”

Still holding her hand George got off the buggy and knelt down

“Lady Tallulah St George, will you marry me?”

“Yes, yes, yes” she squealed as she slid along the seat and jumped down from the buggy and landed on top of him.  

And they made love at the place she fell in love with him.

 

Tallulah was laying on the grass covered by Georges Dinner Jacket, he had just finished redressing himself and was sitting on the back seat looking upon the figure of his beautiful fiancé with adoring eyes and she lay there sighing beneath his jacket for about twenty minutes before she began to stir.

 

“Turn your back,” Tallulah said

“Why?” he asked

“So I can get dressed of course”

“But I’ve already seen everything”

“That was when we were making love” she corrected him

“This is different”

“Ok” he said and turned his back to her

“And no peeking”

“Ok”

George thought it was rather cute that even after what they had just done in the moonlight she was still acting shy.

“Now you can look,” she said

When he turned around she was wearing his Dinner Jacket over her blue dress again.

 

Tallulah had been staying at her Cousin Michaels who lived at the other end of the course where his rather grand house backed onto the 3rd green.

Whereas George’s cottage was in Lily Green which was on the opposite side of the Golf Course,

“So where to milady?” he asked as they trundled across the course in the buggy, George driving this time with Tallulah next to him with her arm through his, wearing his jacket again.

“Will it be the big ‘ouse with the gentry or roughing it with the peasants?”

“I think I will rough it” she replied “With my peasant fiancé”

 

He stopped the buggy right in the trees by the seventh green and he walked her through the woods to the path that led to Lily Green.

“What are we going to do about the buggy?” she asked

“We’ll take it back tomorrow” he replied “If you’re up early enough, I know what you posh birds are like”

“Oh you’ve had a lot of experience with posh birds have you?”

Tally asked

“Modesty forbids me from answering that question” he replied and they paused in the darkness and enjoyed a long sensual kiss.

“Come on then Mrs. Vineyard” he said “Let’s get you home”

“I’ve changed my mind” she said

“You want to go to Michaels after all?” he asked

“No I’ll come and rough it in the cottage” she said

“What then?” he asked

“It’s the engagement thing, Mrs. Vineyard sounds really common” Tallulah said and laughed

“Ok good night then” he said

“What? Don’t leave me” she said with panic in her voice and ran after him and when she caught him he just smiled at her

“You bastard” she said and slapped him playfully

“Do you really think I would just leave you here?”

“No” she said hugging him “But you’re still a bastard”

 

They weren’t up early enough for breakfast in fact they were barely in time for lunch.

So it was late on Sunday morning when Tallulah and George emerged through the front door of his cottage, Tally carrying her previous days outfit in a carrier bag.

Tallulah kept some clothes at his Cottage which meant she didn’t have to navigate her way across the course in the previous night’s clothes. 

Miraculously the buggy was still where they left it deep in the woods at the end of the path so they trundled their way to the 3rd green and walked excitedly up the garden of Michaels house to break both lots of happy news.

CONCERNING SPURNING

 

Since that moment of your spurning     

How to live without you I’m learning

But as long as the world keeps turning

And a boomerang keeps returning

All the time the sun keeps on burning

That’s how long I’ll keep on yearning

Tales from the Finchbottom Vale – (10) When Fate Took a Hand

 

The two of them had been together for a long time but after 5 years of marriage Josh and Sophie Ferris had recently split and the only people who were at all surprised by it was them.

There were never two more incompatible souls to share a life than they.

In fact they had spent much of the previous two years constantly bickering and arguing about anything and everything.

The problem was that Josh was too laid back and easy going for Sophie who was the complete opposite she was very pushy and way too ambitious.

But not just ambitious for herself, she wanted to push Josh to bigger and better things as well, but Josh didn’t want to climb the greasy pole he was happy doing what he was doing he didn’t want to be a chief he liked being an Indian.

But for Sophie that was not acceptable and because Sophie didn’t want to settle for less than the best she wasn’t prepared to settle for someone who did.

 

Kay Regan was delighted when she heard the news and not just because she didn’t like Sophie although that was part of the reason but mainly she was happy because she had been in love with Josh since high school, she was in the year below him, but despite all her best efforts she could never seem to catch his eye not in that way at any rate.

So he ended up with Sophie and Kay married Colin who turned out to be the most boring man in Britain, so she divorced him after twelve months.

Kay had been pretty much on her own ever since the divorce, not that she hadn’t tried to find someone to replace Colin.

She had tried quite diligently but the problem was they never had Josh’s smile, his sense of humour or indeed his cute arse.

So in the end she resolved that if she couldn’t have Joshua Ferris she would end her days a spinster.

That was until one day when fate took a hand.

 

Josh and Sophie’s divorce was final and part of the divorce agreement was that they should sell the house in Dulcet-On-Brooke that was once their marital home.

Of the two of them it was Joshua who was tasked with selling it as Sophie had already moved into a bigger and better house.

So it was on a sunny spring morning when Joshua walked into an Estate Agents in Purplemere where the senior partner was Kay.  

She was five foot eight with short bobbed brown hair, and mesmerizing green eyes and a very tidy figure suitably proportioned and all underpinned by stunning legs.

And those stunning legs wobbled when she saw tall dark and beddable Joshua Ferris walk through the door.

“Good morning” she said having regained her composure

“Hi” he said and gave her a considered perusal before adding

“Kay Finch”

“I used to be” she admitted

“We were at school together” he said “you were in the year below with a flock of boys at your heels”

“That was a long time ago” she said and blushed

“So what are you now?” he asked

“I’m sorry?”

“You said you used to be Kay Finch, so what are you now?”

“Oh I see, its Regan” she replied

“So you’re married to Colin” he said

“And divorced from” she added quickly

“Ditto” Josh said

“What! You were married to Colin as well?” she asked and laughed

“God no I always found him a bit boring” he retorted

“Ditto” she remarked and they both laughed

“It would be nice to catch up sometime” she suggested

“Yes it would” he agreed “how about lunch?”

“I’d love that” she replied

“Great, I’ll see you then” he said and turned towards the door

“Was there anything else?” she asked

“Well actually I’m very happy with lunch, for now” he thought to himself and then the penny dropped

“Oh God yes I want to sell my house”