MY GIFT IS A SPECIAL LOVE

 

My gift is a special love

That lasts the whole year through

So if I had a Christmas wish

I would still wish for you

Uncanny Christmas Tales – (044) The Curate and the Verger

 Downshire is a relatively small English county but like a pocket battleship it packs a lot in, a short but beautiful coastline, a channel port, the Ancient forests of Dancingdean and Pepperstock, the craggy ridges and manmade lakes of the Pepperstock Hills National Park, the rolling hills of the Downshire Downs, the beautiful Finchbottom Vale and farm land as far as the eye can see from the Trotwood’s and the Grace’s in the south to the home of the Downshire Light infantry, Nettlefield, and their affluent neighbour’s, Roespring and Tipton in the north but our story begins in Pepperstock  Green where Finn Ewing was the Locum Curate at St Agatha’s where he and Verger Katie Ralph  had just finished tidying up the village hall after the Christmas Bazaar.

They had just locked the doors when Finn took a deep breath and said

“I was wondering, as you were so generous with your time over the past few weeks, you might allow me to repay the favour”

“There’s no need” she said

“But I couldn’t have got through the last few weeks without you” he persisted “Just dinner at the Squirrel”

“Ok” she agreed and to herself added “Good decision”

“Is Monday ok for you?” he asked

“Yes, perfect for me” she said

“Great, Monday it is” he said smiling “I’m looking forward to it”

“I’ll see you for worship in the morning” she said

 

Katie had taken a bold step in agreeing to the dinner with the Curate, she had hoped he would ask her out, and now he had she had to

make the most of it, so she had to make the most of herself, and her usual leggings and sweater weren’t going to cut it.

You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression so after the Sunday worship she went shopping for some proper, knock him dead, girl clothes.

 

They agreed to meet at the restaurant, as he had a late meeting at the church with a prospective happy couple and she lived at the same end of the village as the Squirrel, so it made more sense.

However, Finn was sat in the bar a full half an hour before he was supposed to meet Katie and he was insanely nervous, he hadn’t felt like that since he was 15 when he was waiting outside the multiplex for Cassie Harlow.

But his apprehension wasn’t just first date nerves, he had something much more important on his mind, however he was thinking it was a mistake to arrive early as his stomach was doing somersaults.

 

While Finn sat at in the bar Katie was second guessing herself as she stood in front of the mirror wearing a little black dress.

Her long brunette hair was down, instead of being tied up and her face was subtly made up.

It had been a while since she had given herself the treatment and the face, she was wearing was her third attempt to get it right.

The first one left her looking like a mortician’s subject fresh off the slab and the second one made her look like a clown.

She was much happier with the third one, but as time was running out it would have to do regardless, and all the time she was getting ready she kept say to herself

“Why on earth did I agree to do this” and “what was I thinking?”

“Because you wanted to” she said out loud to the mirror “now suck it up and go and knock him dead”

 

When Finn turned around and saw this brunette in the little black dress coming towards him, he couldn’t stop himself from saying   

“Wow”

Katie smiled and asked

“Will I Do?”

“Comme ci comme ça” he said making a gesture with his hand 

“Charming” she said and laughed, and her nerves at least melted away

“Well, I was expecting someone in a sweater and leggings” he said defensively, and she laughed again

“I can go back and change, but as I decided to make an effort” she said as she sat down

“I thought this might be more appropriate”

“Well, I am speechless, you look so stunning” he said and they both blushed

 

Katie had lived in Pepperstock Green her whole life whereas Finn had only been there a matter of weeks, as locum for the Vicar who was recovering from a broken leg, he would be in a Parish of his own by Candlemas.

They had hit it off right from the start and she had been by his side ever since, but there was still a lot they didn’t know about each other.

That didn’t last however because as soon as they sat down it was like an information exchange, and the evening passed by so quickly, as they found out every detail about each other and filed it away, their likes and dislikes.

Music, movies, TV, travel destinations, favourite pieces of art, favourite books, and authors, they discussed everything and anything and as a result they were so absorbed in each company that they completely lost track of time, and to such an extent that they had got to closing time and he still hadn’t asked her.

So outside in the carpark before they said goodnight, he stood in front of her nervously transferring his weight from one foot to the other and said

“I have to ask you something”

“Ok what would you like to know?” she asked, struggling to think of anything about her that she hadn’t already shared.

“You know that when the Vicar returns, I will be moving on?” he began

“Yes”

“Well, I’ve been offered my own Parish in Clarence” 

 “That’s wonderful” she lied “So what did you want to ask?”

“I was wondering or perhaps more accurately hoping that you would like to come with me…to Clarence” he said incoherently

“You mean as Verger?” Katie queried

“Yes, and also no” he replied

“I don’t understand” she stated

“I want you to be the Vicars…. wife”

“That is to say I’d…...” he never completed his proposal as she was already kissing him and had his answer in no uncertain terms.

MY CHRISTMAS GIFT TO YOU

 

My Christmas gift to you

Is not wrapped up in coloured paper,

Tied with ribbon and bows

And hidden beneath the tree

It’s visible for all to see

It is written on my face

Like ink on parchment

It spills out from my heart

Like boiling milk from a pan

It emanates from my every pore

And surrounds us all

My Christmas gift to you

Is my never ending love

 

PS – there are gifts under the tree as well

Uncanny Christmas Tales – (043) The Christmas Adventure

 Gary Smith and Carla Lund were staying on a camp site in the Finchbottom Vale that was once a working railway station before it fell foul of Dr Beeching and his cuts, in a place called Sharpinghead.

The two of them were staying in a converted signal box which was comfortable enough but because of the limited floor space it had bunk beds which didn’t go down well at all with Carla, she wanted a double bed and plenty of comfort and more than a little loving.

“What the hell are they?” she said when she saw the bunks

“A challenge” Gary replied flippantly but she was not impressed

“We’re not 13” she said,

It was not an insurmountable problem as far as he was concerned but she just wasn’t the adventurous type.

Although Gary could remember the time when she was, a time when she enjoyed a kiss and a cuddle in the woods back in the days when they were courting but she seemed to have forgotten just how much.

The bunk beds were bad enough, but Carla really lost it when she realized there was also no toilet or bathroom ensuite and the nearest facilities were 60 yards away.

She stormed out and left Gary to unpack and she was gone for hours, in fact Gary was already asleep in the bottom bunk when she got back.    

The next morning just after first light he had to get up to the toilet, he wasn’t going to bother dressing but trotted the 60 yards to the toilet in his pants.

When he returned to the signal box, he quietly closed the door and was just tiptoeing across the room when he spied, highlighted in the early morning light, Carla’s naked buttocks protruding from beneath her duvet and written on a post it note, stuck to one buttock was one single word “Sorry”.

And that was when he woke her in the dawn light and the adventure returned to their marriage.

 

After that first surrender to adventure Carla felt alive and tingling all over and was keen to try some more while Gary was just intent on enjoying it while it lasted.

But the new adventurous Carla didn’t leave her sexual escapades in Sharpinghead when the summer holiday was over, and they spent their spare time exhaustively finding ever more adventurous ways to satisfy her brains out.

But they were also regular visitors back to the Vale where they would revisit sights of old adventures, where he would sully her anew, as well as finding new and evermore sensual exploits.

Which was why they took every opportunity to get back to the Vale because their intimate exchanges always seemed hotter there than anywhere else.

So, they became regulars at Maxlins holiday camp in Sharpinghead as its size and range of activities gave them ever more opportunities of making nerve tingling dirty adventurous memories.

Which was why they found themselves back in Sharpinghead in December on one of the big Santa’s Grotto weekends at Maxlins holiday camp where they planned making nerve tingling dirty Christmas memories.

The Grotto was decorated with red and gold velvet drapes, adorned with tinsel and coloured lights, with a huge throne in the furthest corner surrounded by Christmas parcels and leading to the throne was a fake snow-covered path and on one side of it was a festive tableau of snowmen and reindeer and on the other side Santa’s sleigh was parked.

And when they first saw it, they looked at each other and Gary asked

“Throne of sleigh?”

“Both” she replied with a giggle

“Both it is then for my dirty little Christmas minx”

“Adventurous dirty little Christmas minx, if you don’t mind” she corrected him.

 

So, on Saturday night they sneaked past security and made their way into the grotto.

“Come on Carla, the costumes are through there” Gary said and led the way.

Carla rummaged through a rail of costumes and after a few minutes she appeared holding a Santa suit.

“This one will do for you” she said “put it on and I’ll be back in a minute”

When she returned, Santa was sitting on the throne and she was dressed as an Elf, green fitted tunic, with gold buttons, deep red tights, red and white striped knee socks and pixie boots with turned up toes.

“There’s one more customer for Santa” she said and sat on his knee.

“I’m almost certain that you’re on the naughty list” Santa said.

“I’m nice and naughty” Carla said and giggled

Then Santa discarded his beard and kissed her, and after a prolonged period of heavy petting, he gave her, her Christmas present from behind on Santa’s throne.

 

Unfortunately, the security guard interrupted their fun before he could sully her on the sleigh as well, so they had to leave the Grotto in a hurry, they took the costumes with them though and used them the following weekend when Santa mounted his Elf on Santa’s sleigh to their mutual satisfaction.

THIS IS OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS

 

This is our first Christmas

As husband and wife

The very first Christmas

Of our married life

This is our first Christmas

Together in our house

The very first Christmas

With my very own spouse

Uncanny Christmas Tales – (042) A Very Revealing Christmas

 

The Dulcets were a collection of villages and hamlets comprising of Dulcet Meadow, Dulcet-on-Willow, Dulcet Green and Dulcet-on-Brooke, to name but a few, and of course Dulcet St Mary which was where the Dulcet Garden Centre was located, and where Assistant Manager Lily Rodney was taking early retirement, thus creating a vacancy and Lily had no hesitation in recommending twenty-seven-year-old Jennifer Evans as her replacement.

 

Jenni was a pretty girl with long straw-coloured hair and stood barely five feet tall, delicate, and slender who looked like a breath of wind would blow her away, but she was as strong as an ox.

She had started at the center while she was still at school, as weekend staff and Lily took her under her wing, and they had become firm friends over the years.

Jenni was absolutely gob smacked when Lily recommended her for Assistant Manager, and in response she worked tirelessly to repay her faith in her.

This meant that she was always first in at the start of the day and very rarely went home on time in the evening which didn’t leave much time for her love life, so she didn’t have a significant other. There was a girl at the Garden Centre that she liked in that way, but she wasn’t sure if her feelings were reciprocated.

Tasha Hayle was only 20 and worked in the café, Jenni thought she was gorgeous, five-foot tall, Filipino mother, part Spanish father, brown eyes, demerara skin, round bum, narrow waist, large breasts, and a smile that melted Jenni’s heart.

But when she was within ten feet of her, her brains turned to mush.

After six months Jenni hadn’t spoken a whole sentence to Tasha until her 21st birthday, a month before Christmas, when they all went to the pub and Jenni bought her some novelty knickers with Penguins on them because she knew she had a thing about Penguins.

Tasha liked her present very much and was well aware of the effect she had on Jenni, and she really loved it, but she thought it was time for her to put her out of her misery.

 

It was Jenni’s first day off for more than a month and she wanted to go Christmas shopping in Abbottsford and spend most of the day at the Phoenix Shopping Centre.

She particularly wanted to go to Hanratty’s Department Store, the lingerie department to be precise as she needed some new undies, and Hanratty’s knickers were her favourite.

So, she had spent more than half an hour browsing and had a number of sets in her basket and was just admiring a red satin teddy when someone said

“Oooh, I like that”

Jenni turned around and saw that it was Tasha

“Er…um…er” she stuttered, and Tasha laughed

“I bet it will look lovely on” she said, and Jenni couldn’t even manage a stutter and went as red as the Teddy and Tasha walked away giggling.

Jenni had lost sight of her but Tasha had stayed close by as she paid for her scanties’ and then reappeared as she left the department before leading her on an adventure through the store until they ended up in Ladieswear and Tasha stopped by a rack of silk blouses, and after a discreet look around to make sure the coast was clear and then she turned toward Jenni and pulled the front of her leggings down, intended to show her she was wearing the Penguin pants, however she had inadvertently pulled them down as well and flashed Jenni her uncultivated lady garden.

When she saw Jenni staring at her with her eyes on stalks and mouth wide open, she laughed, but when she saw Jenni was still staring open mouthed, she was amazed by her reaction to a flash of her knickers.

So, she looked down and saw exactly what she had been flashing.

“Oh my God” she exclaimed and pulled her leggings back up and ran towards the cubicles and very excited Jennifer Evans followed her into an empty cubicle.

“You weren’t supposed to see that” Tasha said as she stood in the corner facing the wall.

“I just wanted to get your attention”

“Well, you’ve certainly got my attention, but I’ve always noticed you” Jenni said and giggled

“But I liked what I saw”

“I know you did” Tasha replied as she slowly turned around but without raising her eyes

“You were only supposed to see my Penguin pants”

“An early Christmas Present for me then” she said and putting hand gently beneath her chin, she lifted her head and kissed her, but not just a Christmas Kiss.

YOU’RE MY CHRISTMAS ANGEL

 

You’re my Christmas angel

You’re my very own Christmas delight.

Please stay with me tonight