On Sunday morning in Turnoak Jack woke annoyingly early and couldn’t get back to sleep so he got up and was greeted by a quiet empty house again.
He made coffee and sat in the kitchen feeling rather lonely and pondered how he was going to fill his day.
Kayleigh was out of circulation all day and he wasn’t seeing her until the next day.
As he sat and stared into his coffee cup he heard a familiar voice.
“For goodness sake pull yourself together,” it said, “it’s a good news week”
The voice belonged to Katie Watson, though she wasn’t really there.
“Ok Katie” he replied and instead of feeling sorry for himself he got up and got himself ready for church.
As he walked to St Lucy’s he tried to think what Katie meant by saying “it’s a good news week”, but the only thing he could think of was a song from the 1960’s by a one hit wonder group of RAF men, Hedgehoppers Anonymous.
And the reason he was so familiar with it was because it was a favourite of his dads and it was on one of the tapes he always played in the car.
And the song just went round and around inside his head even during the service.
It's good news week
Someone's dropped a bomb somewhere
Contaminating atmosphere
And blackening the sky
It's good news week
Someone's found a way to give
The rotting dead a will to live
Go on and never die
Have you heard the news
What did it say?
Who's won that race?
What's the weather like today?
It's good news week
Families shake the need for gold
By stimulating birth control
We're wanting less to eat
It's good news week
Doctors finding many ways
Of wrapping brains on metal trays
To keep us from the heat
Now although he wasn’t sure exactly what Katie’s disembodied voice meant, he was pretty sure it wasn’t that.
But with his head stuck in a constant loop of “Hedgehoppers” he decided there was no point in beating himself up over it.
And the moment he stopped trying to divine the meaning the sound track stopped and he was able to enjoy the rest of the service in peace.
After the service ended most of the congregation spilled out through the doors and the milled around chatting and spreading the word along with a little gossip.
Which he did in his turn, there were many familiar faces in the crowd and he spoke to most of them in the spring sunshine.
Just as the crowd had visibly thinned and he was about to amble away himself he felt a tug on his arm.
“Jack” the voice said
He turned around to face the source of the voice.
“Hi Martina” he said
“You can’t go yet,” she said in a hushed whisper.
“Why not?” he asked, “I’m hungry, and I missed breakfast”
“Because you can’t” she insisted “come into the church”
“What for?” he asked as she steered him unceremoniously through the door, smiling and the remaining parishioners as they went.
“What is going on?” he asked again as they reached the transept, where a very green looking Gary Spiers was slouched in the nearest pew.
“Have you kidnapped him as well?”
“Sit down and stop your fussing and wait until Paul gets here,” Martina said forcefully, so he sat down next to Gary.
“What’s this about?” he asked him
“Don’t know,” he answered “she just came to the house this morning and dragged me out of my sick bed and forced me to come here”
“You aren’t sick you’re just hung over” Martina snapped “So stopped whining”
“Harsh” He replied
“Very” Jack added
Just then they heard Paul’s distinctive footsteps coming down the aisle, which turned out to be quite appropriate in light of what they were about to hear.
Paul joined Martina and stood holding her hand
“Well” he said slowly and deliberately “we have an announcement to make”
Martina was fidgeting and shuffling her feet as he spoke and it was clear he wasn’t speaking fast enough for her
“We have finalized, at least decided, or perhaps chosen…” he faltered
“We’ve set a date for the wedding” Martina blurted out
“Great” Gary said unenthusiastically
“That is good news” Jack said more sympathetically “and when is it?”
“August the 10th” they said in unison
“Great” Gary said again then Paul cleared his throat and said
“And I want you to be my best man Gary”
“What?” he queried “Me?”
Paul nodded and Gary jumped to his feet and shook Pauls hand and then kissed Martina.
“I’ve never been a best man before” he said proudly
“Well done” Jack said and slapped him on the back.
“And as for you” Martina said looking at Jack “I want you to give me away”
“Seriously?” he asked
“Yes” she replied
“Wow” he exclaimed
“Is that a yes?” she asked
“Of course it is you silly woman” he said and kissed her.
As Gary and Jack headed to the Hen and Chicks to celebrate, the latter heard Katie’s voice again, “good news week”.
Martina and Paul declined their offer to wine and dine them as they had other people to give the news to, now that they had spoken to them.
So they had a roast dinner and then got bladdered and the next thing they knew it was Monday.
About 10.30am Jack was rudely awakened by a persistent banging on the front door, which was in turn banging inside his head he staggered clumsily downstairs and opened the door.
“Good morning” a man said “Taxi for Spiers”
“What?” he replied
“I’ll be right out” a voice behind him said and Jack turned around to see Gary standing there putting his coat on.
“God you look as bad as I feel” he said as he followed the driver down the path.
After Gary had gone he had a coffee and tried to get hold of Kayleigh to give her the news about being asked to give Martina away, but he couldn’t get hold of her so he had another couple of coffees in an effort to wake himself up but eventually he gave up and returned to his bed and stayed there until Tuesday.
On Tuesday morning he was up at 5am having slept the clock around and found himself in a doing mood.
After putting on some washing he changed the bedding and hoovered and dusted and got the place spic and span.
It was at about 10 o’clock when he walked into the kitchen and was surprised to see Emily in the back garden, she didn’t normally come until Friday, and so he opened the back door.
“Hi Emily” he called
“Hello Jack” she called back and walked across the patio towards her and asked
“How come you’re here on a Tuesday?”
“I had to rearrange things,” she said as she put down her rake and walked towards him “you know what clients can be like”
And then she grinned at him quite soppily
“I never thanked you properly for what you did to get ready for Katie” he said and hugged her just as Davina came around the corner
“Oi” she called “you sex maniac, put my partner down”
“Partner?” he asked releasing Emily
“Yes” Emily said, “Your gardening needs will now be met by Bills and Carley”
“That’s fantastic news” he said “now it’s your turn for a hug”
When all the hugging was done with and congratulations were gratefully received the girls went back to work and Jack headed back into the house and heard the familiar voice again as it said, “It’s a good news week Jack”
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