Friday, 25 March 2022

Uncanny Tales – (062) The Best China

 

Downshire is a relatively small English county but like a pocket battleship it packs a lot in, a short but beautiful coastline, a channel port, the Ancient forests of Dancingdean and Pepperstock, the craggy ridges and manmade lakes of the Pepperstock Hills National Park, the rolling hills of the Downshire Downs, the beautiful Finchbottom Vale and farm land as far as the eye can see from the Trotwood’s and the Grace’s in the south to the home of the Downshire Light infantry, Nettlefield, and their affluent neighbour’s, Roespring and Tipton in the north but our story takes place in Brassington, a large sprawling village nestled in the wooded hills on the southern edge of the Dancingdean Forest in the south east corner of Downshire.

 

It was Gemma Morris’s 29th birthday and she was being picked up by her sister Charlotte as they were going into the village for lunch at The Timberman.

As she walked along the path from White Rose Cottage down to her sister’s waiting car, a couple were just leaving the house next door, a busty redhead of about her own age and a taller gaunt looking man with starey eyes, she hadn’t met them before, but she understood they were brother and sister, the Moors, so she smiled and said

“Good morning”

Well, she couldn’t believe that two such innocuous words could have the effect of lighting the blue touch paper, but that was exactly what happened because the man virtually exploded and launch an array of expletives the like of which she’d never heard before in her life.

And the apparent provocation for the verbal assault was the fact that Charlotte had stopped her car with the front wheel over hanging the Moor’s drive.

The busty redhead tried her best to calm him down, but Gemma sensibly didn’t react and ignored him, and opened the car door.

“Hi Charlotte” she said

“I think I’ve just met the new neighbours”

“Yes” she said still smiling “he’s a colourful character”

“Well, his language certainly is” Gemma said and then added “She’s nice though”

 

When she returned home after having had a very pleasant lunch with Charlotte, she was dropped off about 90 minutes after the incident and there was no further confrontation with the neighbours on that occasion as she walked along the path, though she did notice the curtain twitch, so Gemma turned and smiled.

She was relieved that there was no repeat of the unprovoked verbal abuse by the neighbour, so she went in the house and closed the door.

 

Gemma was indoors for about forty minutes and as she left the house, she saw the angry neighbour’s redheaded sister walking towards her.

Despite her smiley response to the initial assault she was actually quite hurt about being called vile names, but it was being called a fat arsed dumb bimbo which hurt the most, and being called a “woman” driver when she wasn’t even driving, she’d never thought of herself as a dumb bimbo, or fat arsed, in fact she was a smart cookie and her arse was widely regarded as pert, and she was an advanced driver.

She was a bit angrier now the insults had sunk in, and she was up for a fight, so she braced herself.

“I’m sorry about earlier” Joanne Moor said completely disarming her.

“My brother Clinton is bi-polar, and it makes him a bit unpredictable”

“Where is he now?” she asked

“He’s gone home” she replied

“Come in for a coffee, by way of an apology, I’ve just unpacked the best China”

Although she was short of time, she was going to politely decline her offer but then decided to accept because she had something on her mind, so instead she replied.

“That would be nice, thank you”

 

It was getting dark by the time she returned home, and she was feeling very satisfied indeed at the way good neighbourly relations had been established, however it wasn’t the best China she had been drinking from all afternoon.

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