Downshire Diary – (39) The Plumber’s Tale

 

The Finchbottom Vale is nestled comfortably between the Ancient Dancingdean Forest to the south and the rolling Pepperstock Hills in the north, those who are lucky enough to live there think of it as the rose between two thorns.

The Vale was once a great wetland that centuries earlier stretched from Mornington in the East to Childean in the west and from Shallowfield in the south to Purplemere in the north.

But over the many centuries the vast majority had been drained for agriculture, a feat achieved largely by the efforts of famous Mornington Mills, of which only three had survived to the present day and even those were no longer functional and were in various states of repair.  

There were only three small bodies of water left in the Vale now one in Mornington, one in Childean and third of course was Purplemere which was to the north of the Vale, in the lee of Pepperstock Hills, lay the modest town of the same name.

On the western side of the town was the residential area known as Hill Side, and in one of its many quiet road, was the home of Pennant’s.

And it was the day before Dave Pennant’s 15th birthday when he first saw Louise Spry and he thought to himself

“That’s what I want for my birthday”

She was two year older than he was and as it turned out she was in the 6th form at the same school as him, but she was two classes above him in every other respect as well as age.

Dave had a half-brother, Andy, and Louise Spry was his new girlfriend.

“Lucky bastard” Dave thought to himself

Andy was two years older than him as well and they didn’t like each other very much, in fact they didn’t like each other at all.

They had nothing in common other than sharing a mother, they didn’t even share a surname, he was Pennant and Andy’s was Bates.

He was better at sports than Dave, he was more academic than Dave and he was better looking as well.

But not only did they not like each other it was a dislike that would stand the test of time for them both.

 

After Andy and Louise had been going out for a few weeks she started staying over at his house on Friday or Saturday night, sometimes both.

On the second or third occasion, which was a Friday night, when she arrived at the house she dumped her coat and hand bag on the hall table.

Well not so much a hand bag, it was actually more like a holdall, it was enormous, but the clasp on it was a bit iffy and as a result it was gaping open.

Which was how Dave spotted a splash of red in her bag as he walked down the stairs.

It aroused his curiosity somewhat so he decided it should be investigated and on closer inspection it turned out to be where she kept her clean underwear and the flash of red turned out to be a pair of red lace knickers adorned with little satin ribbons.

The effect on him was instantaneous and it was no longer just his curiosity that was aroused.

It had a profound effect on him and reinforced his feeling for his first crush.

 

Over the six months his despicable half-brother Andy and the lust of his life Louise were going out together Dave’s feelings for her deepened and that situation would doubtless have continued indefinitely but for the fact that his arsehole half-brother decided to play away with some skanky tart from behind the bar at the Crown and Anchor.

 

Dave couldn’t believe Andy had cheated on Louise with some sad old slapper when he had a quality bird like Louise at his side.

He was absolutely devastated when Andy broke up with Louise and the realisation sunk in that he wasn’t going to see her again.

He consoled himself with the fact that it wouldn’t have lasted much longer anyway as they both went off to University that September so his opportunities to see the lovely Louise at close quarters would have diminished anyway.

 

Dave was never the academic type so college and then University was never going to work for him so he left school the following year and managed with the help of his father to get an apprenticeship as a plumber at a big local firm called Drakes.

His parents were very supportive and they appreciated that he had his own path to follow and that path brought him his own relationships and his own lovers along the way, although they never quite measured up to Louise Spry, and it was when he started at Drakes that he met Mark Jordon and they instantly became best mates.

When they got talking they found that they had quite a lot in common, he also had a step sibling, although in his case it was a half-sister called Scarlet and he got on really well with her.

He was also the youngest of two and he sucked academically too, while Scarlet was brilliant and was going to sail through her degree and follow it with a Masters.  

 

Mark’s Dad, Danny, had bought an old wreck of a house just before he met Marks mum, Nicole, and it had always been very much a work in progress.

And although he had completed 90 percent of it he wouldn’t have really considered it finished until the extension was done, and more to the point nor would his wife.

So he had decided that 20 years on a project was more than enough so he decided to get Mark and Dave to help him as they were in their fourth year at Drakes, and there was plumbing to do.

The shell was up and the electrics and some of the plastering was done but as the two story extension was to house the new kitchen and bathroom he wanted the boys to help him with the plumbing.  

So on the Easter weekend Dave was staying in the spare room at the Jordan’s so they could get as much done over the holiday weekend as possible.

 

It was Good Friday and they were up early and Mark’s mum Nicole made them doorstep bacon butties for breakfast to give them a head start.

Nicole had poured herself a bath and they were just waiting for Scarlet to finish in the shower so they could turn the water off and drain the system down before they could crack on.

Danny and Mark then went off to the builders and plumbers merchants to buy some more materials so they wouldn’t have any holdups over the weekend, and they were all hoping to have a lazy Monday before they went back to work on Tuesday.

 

While Danny and Mark were out Dave started carrying stuff up to what was going to be the new bathroom.

The only access was via a ladder from the kitchen to be, they hadn’t cut the doorways through to the house yet to cut down on drafts as the winter was barely over.

There were one or two sizable holes where the old air vents used to be but other than that it was sealed.

When Dave had climbed the ladder and he was in the new bathroom he could tell Nicole was in the bath already as he could hear her through the wall splashing about in the tub.

He stacked the tools in the corner and was just about to head back down the ladder for another load when he heard someone open a door and step heavily onto the landing.

Dave knew it wasn’t Nicole as he could still hear her through the wall so he thought that it must be Mark’s elusive sister Scarlet, who he still hadn’t met at that point, so intrigued to finally lay eyes on her he thought he would look through the hole where the vent used to be and see what she looked like, Mark was always going on a about her, saying how perfect she was, so he thought he’d judge for himself just how special she was.

His first sight of her was as she walked into the toilet, she was only wearing a bra, pants and tights, and he assumed she must have been taken short before she’d finished dressing.

He had to admit that even from behind she looked pretty special.

It occurred to him to tell her there was no water to flush with but then she turned around and his jaw dropped, the semi naked girl was Louise Spry and the thought to alert her to the water shortage left his mind.

And by the time it returned she had closed and locked the toilet door,

It wasn’t an unusual occurrence as a plumber to happen upon naked or semi naked women, sometimes by accident and others by their own design, though when they wanted you to see, it wasn’t quite the same level of excitement.

But what Dave Pennant had seen walking half naked across the landing wasn’t just any girl, it was Louise Spry, the object of his lust, she was the Holy Grail of his desires.

It was only after she had reappeared through the bathroom door that he wondered why Louise Spry was in his best mates bathroom entertaining the plumber.

Shortly after his ponderings went unresolved he heard the front door close, so he hurried down the ladder but by the time he got outside all he could see was the back of Ford Fiesta disappearing through the gate. 

 

They worked really hard on the extension and so he didn’t get to see the illusive Louise Spry again until two days later on the afternoon of Easter Sunday.

They had taken a break from their labours and were sitting on the patio drinking tea and enjoying some of Nicole’s delicious fruit cake

“Hi Scarlet” Nicole said over Dave’s shoulder so he half turned around to look at her and he nearly choked.

“Hello” Louise replied

“This is…” Mark began

“I know you” she said “you’re David”

“That’s right” He replied “Dave, but I remember you as Louise”

Everyone laughed at Dave’s observation and then Mark explained

“Scarlet is a family name, Dad used to call her “Miss Scarlet” when she was little because she blushed all the time”

Dave smiled but what brought a smile to his lips was the thought of how much she would have blushed if she’d seen him watching her through the airbrick.

 

The next day they still hadn’t finished everything they had planned to do, despite the best efforts of all involved, and it was apparent that they wouldn’t even if they worked at it all day.

So Nicole prepared one of her cooked breakfasts, and they would have a leisurely start to the day and then get on and do a bit more, even Scarlet/Louise did a bit. 

But they had only been working for about two hours when Mark fell off the ladder in the extension and broke his arm.  

Danny and Nicole got him in the car ready to take the wounded soldier to A&E at The Royal Downshire Hospital. 

“I don’t want you working up there on your own Dave” Danny said

“Ok” Dave replied “I’ll just reconnect the water, and tidy up a bit”

“Thanks lad” he replied

“Text us” Dave suggested

“Will do” Danny said and drove off

Dave did as he had promised and Louise cleared the breakfast things and got the kitchen straight.

And despite not planning on doing a lot, another two hours had passed before he was stepping into the shower.

After he’d showered and dressed he packed his bag and went downstairs to the kitchen and grabbed a cold beer from the fridge.

It was while he was sat at the kitchen table drinking his second beer that Louise walked in.

“Hello Dave” she said

“Hi …” he began “Do I call you Louise or Scarlet?”

“Louise is fine” she replied as she poured herself a glass of wine.

They sat at the table for over an hour chatting about anything and everything and were both on drink number three when he said

“I’m flattered you remember me by the way”

“Oh I remember you very well” she said and he was rather pleased that he had made such an impression on her and then as she sat opposite him she continued

“You used to go through my hand bag when I stayed over at your house, looking at my knickers?”

“No I didn’t” he responded indignantly

“Oh yes you did” she contradicted

“So come on let’s hear you admit it”

“Oh ok” he said resignedly after five minutes of badgering “I did do it, but it was only one time”

“I know you did” she said very definitely

“But how did you know?” he asked

“Because I saw you do it” she said with a smile

“Oh”

“Yes I looked down over the bannisters and your hands were in my bag, but I didn’t see exactly what you were doing” she said “I thought perhaps you were looking for my fags”

“I see”

“But when I went to put my pants on the next morning I soon realised what you were really up to” she explained

“How come?”

“Well I always pack my knickers inside out, it’s one of my quirks, but when I went to put them on they were the right way round”

“Oh”

“So are you sure it was only once?” she asked “And before you answer remember that I know exactly how many times”

“Yes, just the once” he replied adamantly “but I was tempted”

“Ok I believe you” she said “I did only noticed the onetime”

“So why didn’t you say something?” he asked

“Because I was rather flattered” she said “and I thought it was quite sweet, endearing really, in a way”

“Really?” he asked doubtfully

“Yes” she replied “You were just a boy after all”

Dave sat silently fearing the next question

“So I have to ask, because I’ve always wondered” here it comes he thought

“Why?” she asked

“Do I have to answer that?” he asked

“Yes” she insisted

“Really?”

“Oh yes”

“Oh God this is embarrassing” he said

“Come on out with it” she urged

“Because I had a crush on you, big time, and they were just there” he said “and I couldn’t resist”

“You little perve” she said in mock horror “Did you do the same with his other girlfriends?”

“No I didn’t” he said with real horror “I’m not a pervert”

“Well you are a bit” she pointed out refilling her glass

“Well I’m not that kind of pervert then” he said

“Are you sure?”

“Yes I’m sure, I had no interest in his other girls” he said very definitely “I only had eyes for you”

“I thought you did” she admitted “I liked you too, but I was older and more sophisticated so it was never a possibility”

“Oh I didn’t realise you were sophisticated, I just thought you were hot” he said “Certainly too hot for me”

“Maybe then” she said and then Louise stood up and walked around the table and when she reached him she leaned down and kissed him

“Wow I’ve been wanting to do that since I was sixteen”

“Did that meet with your approval then?” She asked

“Oh yes” he said

“Come to think of it I’ve been waiting to do that since you were sixteen too” she mused

“You perve” he said and laughed “I was just a child”

“Really?” Louise said as she perched on his knee “Are you seriously going to call me a cradle snatching paedo or shall we just kiss again”

“Oh another kiss I think”

“Good choice” she said and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

For all those months when she was dating Andy he had dreamt of kissing her, but the reality far exceeded the dreaming.

 

As Louise sat on Dave’s lap in the kitchen of her parents’ house the kissing became increasingly passionate and soon moved on to another level and both of them tried to get in each other’s clothing with a more than modest amount of success.

But just when things were really hotting up he slipped out from beneath her, and then she plopped down hard on the chair.

“No don’t stop” she said

“I’m sorry but I have work tomorrow” he said and slipped on his jacket

“No don’t go” she pleaded and stood up and rubbed her buttock and then her jeans fell down to her knees and she tried to close the distance between them but her low slung jeans caused her to waddle which meant he could easily keep out of her reach and he sidestepped through the kitchen door and out into the hall and thus avoiding the sexy waddling Louise

“I’m sure I’ll see you again soon” he said over his shoulder

“Wait” she called after him

“Bye” he responded

Louise kicked off her jeans in frustration and they flew across the kitchen and landed half in the sink, and then she sprinted after him.

“Please don’t go” she said and tried to kiss him but he drew his head away out of the reach of her lips

“How do I know it’s not the wine talking?” he asked

“It’s not” she exclaimed “I promise”

“But you would say that wouldn’t you?” Dave said

“But it’s true” Louise insisted

“So you want to kiss me now then?” he said

“Very much” she said and Louise’s face cracked into a smile and then she blushed as she took a step forwards and their lips met again.

 

He kissed her forehead and left Louise sleeping beneath her Duvet and then walked home with a spring in his step and it suddenly occurred to him that he finally had something in common with his half-brother Andy other than their mother.

 

When the Jordan’s returned home from the hospital, with the wounded soldier with his arm in a cast, later that night to find the house in darkness they were none the wiser as to what had occurred in Nicole’s kitchen or Louise’s bedroom.

Her mum did query why her daughter’s jeans were half in and half out the kitchen sink but that was all.

They remained unaware of the couple’s ongoing sexual exploits for a further three months.

The two of them didn’t want to announce they were together until they knew for certain sure there was more to their relationship that the very satisfying sex, plus Dave was concerned that it might have affected his friendship with Mark when he found out he’d been sleeping with his perfect sister Scarlet.

When they were ready to tell, the news was greeted with all round approval and Mark said he was hoping they would get together.

 

Dave never told Louise he had seen her walk across the landing in her underwear when she was on the way to the toilet and despite the fact they married two years later, which pleased his best mate and best man Mark no end, and thoroughly pissed off his half-brother Andy, those very first sexy images of Louise in her pink scanties stayed in his memory for ever.

Downshire Diary – (38) The Girl in the Red Lingerie

 

Sharpington-by-Sea is a traditional seaside resort complete with a Victorian Pier, seafront hotels, crazy golf, The Palladium ballroom, well maintained gardens, promenade, theatre and illuminations, all the usual things to have a great time by the seaside, as well as amusement arcades and of course the Sharpington Fun Park.

Which was the first purpose built amusement park to open in Britain, which had an assortment of rides, like the Rotor and the Wild Mouse, The Cyclone and the Morehouse Galloper, all very tame compared to a 21st century roller coaster but it was still great fun.

It was also a popular resort for retirees and boasted a number of static caravan parks.

 

It was at one of the static Caravan parks where a group of friends were staying for the Spring Bank Holiday Weekend.

Although in actuality it wasn’t just a group of friends, they were more than that and just to clarify the point they were a group of friends plus Waldo and they were staying at the Whitecliff Hill Caravan Park close to Sharpington.   

There were 8 of them altogether split between three caravans, Mark Tonks shared with Dave Maslen and Andy Pike, Marks sister Lorraine shared with Louise Spry and Charlotte Kay, while Samantha Perry shared the third caravan with her boyfriend Waldo Pienaar.

They were all in their early twenties, apart from Waldo who was pushing 30 and with the exception of Waldo they had been friends since forever.

Caravan holidays weren’t really Mark’s cup of tea at all, as he doesn’t like caravans or tents for that matter but that was probably because he was 6ft 4, so of course caravans didn’t really cater for people of his height.

The only reason he went at all was because Samantha Perry was going to be there, and the fact she was going was very important to him because he loved her, he always had, and he always would, which was sad really because she didn’t love him, because if she did she wouldn’t have kept going out with a succession of complete pillock’s like Waldo.

But he figured if he couldn’t have her to himself he could at least be around her and enjoy her company and it wasn’t the first time he’d tagged along on such outings.

So he had no misgivings about seeing her with another man, it didn’t make him miserable on such occasions, he still had fun he just didn’t have Sam to himself.

 

He also loved Sharpington-by-Sea, and his earliest memory was of Sharpington and he had returned time and time again and it never lost is magic for him.

Mark had his first kiss on the Pier with Katie Brown when he was nine and his first proper kiss with Pamela Owen on the Ghost Train in the Fun Park when he was 15.

He just loved everything about the place,

Sharpington Day Parades, Halloween Fright Nights, Firework displays, Candy Floss, Ice creams, chip suppers and kiss me quick hats.

The only thing that could make him love it more was if he could walk hand in hand along the promenade with Samantha.

 

The group arrived at the Whitecliff Hill Caravan Park late on Friday night in the pouring rain and they were all exhausted, in fact they only had the energy for a quick drink and then turned in early.

 

Saturday started grey and damp and the evidence of the previous days deluge was everywhere to be seen, but the sun burst through mid-morning and they got to spend the rest of the day on the beach.

Which was where Mark got to see the sight that drew him to the beaches of Sharpington in the first place, the most beautiful girl he had have ever known wearing her yellow bikini.

It was a lovely afternoon and they had great fun playing volleyball on the sand, only his sister Lorraine noticed that he spent more time watching Sam than he did the ball.

The evening though was a massive let down for him as Samantha and Waldo didn’t join the group, Waldo wanted them to go out on their own while the rest of them went to the pub and the evening really dragged for him.

 

He was up early on Sunday Morning of the Whitsun Bank Holiday weekend, and he was preoccupied with the thought that no one seemed to call it Whitsun anymore, his mum and dad always did, and he couldn’t understand the fad for calling it the Spring Bank Holiday instead.

The rain had returned in earnest during the night and the park was very quiet, he walked around for a while squelching between the puddles and then he approached caravan 17a.     

The pretext was to speak with Waldo about a mechanics question, as that was his profession, but in truth he wasn’t looking for him at all the only reason he was going over there was to see Samantha.

He knew she was an early riser so he was sure she would be up and about and that the kettle would be hot.

 

He knocked on the door and got no answer, which was strange, so he knocked once more and still there was no answer.

Mark looked around and noticed Waldo’s car was gone, so he knocked again and he was beginning to think there was no one in and then he heard the faintest response of

“Come in”

Mark opened the door and stepped in to caravan 17a and found Samantha propped up in the corner on the bench seat, there was an empty glass on the table and two empty wine bottles on the floor.

“Good morning sunshine” he said

“Is it?” she replied without opening her eyes.

She was sitting with both feet on the seat with her knees drawn up in front of her and she leant forward and rested her elbows on her knees   while her hands pushed her beautiful thick chestnut brown hair off her forehead away from her bleary eyes.

He sat down on the opposite end of the bench so he was looking straight at her and he was very grateful.

The reason for that was that Samantha was in a state of undress apart from matching red silk bra and pants and a pair of red lace topped stockings, matching suspender belt and a wry smile on her lovely face.

 

He sat down on the opposite end of the bench so he was looking straight at her and he was very grateful.

The reason for that was that Samantha was in a state of undress apart from matching red silk bra and pants and a pair of red lace topped stockings, matching suspender belt and a wry smile on her lovely face.

“Where’s Waldo?” he asked

“He’s gone” she said sadly

“What this early?” he asked

“No, last night” she replied coldly “he dumped me”

“What? He shagged you and then dumped you?” he asked angrily

“No, he dumped me and didn’t shag me” she said in disbelief “I got all kitted out for him as well”

“I can see that babe” Mark said

“What?” she asked and screwed up her face in a puzzled expression as she tried to decipher his words.

Samantha then opened her eyes to their fullest extent and looked at him for clarification and he nodded in her direction in answer to her enquiry and her state of undress suddenly dawned on her

“Oh God” she exclaimed and shut her thighs like a bear trap and scrambled for her blanket 

“You pig” she shouted “Why didn’t you tell me I was almost naked”

“Are you kidding me?” he said “and pass up the chance to glimpse a gorgeous girls treasures”

He realized the moment the words left his lips that he had shown his hand.

“Perhaps she’s too hung over to have noticed” he said to himself optimistically

Her treasures were now well and truly buried beneath the hastily positioned blanket and the only visible parts of her were her bright red face above, and her red stocking covered toes, peeping out from below.

“Since when did you think I was gorgeous anyway?” she asked from the safety of her hiding place.

“What do you mean?” he said cursing himself for letting his guard down, apparently she wasn’t as hung over as she appeared

“You said you wouldn’t pass up the chance to glimpse a gorgeous girls treasures” she said “so when did you start thinking I was gorgeous?”

And that was a question he was never in his wildest dreams expected to be asked.

Faced with a direct question he couldn’t back track, so he took a deep breath.

“Well let me see that would be since about the time you were seven” he replied

“Since I was 7?” she exclaimed in disbelief

“What did I do when I was seven that had such a profound effect on you?”

“You showed me your knickers in Belldon Wood”

“I did not” she protested

“Yes you did” he said adamantly, “they were white with little blue periwinkle flowers on them”

Samantha gasped and said

“I remember those knickers”

“So do I, vividly”

“Oh God I did show you my knickers didn’t I?” she said, she would have gone red at the remembrance had she not still been crimson from almost showing him everything else.

“Yes” he confirmed

“So it was actually my knickers you thought were gorgeous” she said

Mark hesitated before answering, he could have just agreed with her and simply laughed the whole thing off, because if he told the truth then the genie would be out of the bottle and he wouldn’t be able to unsay it.

“That’s not true” he replied deciding to bite the bullet

“I think you’re gorgeous now and you’re not wearing them”

“Don’t remind me” She said blushing crimson again and hiding her face behind her blanket.

“So you’ve fancied me ever since I was seven?”

“Pretty much” he confessed

“You really fancied me all that time?” she asked

“It’s worse than that I’m afraid!” he admitted

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked emerging from cover.

“I never knew how” he replied

“I was just a passing fancy then” she said dismissively

“Not at all” he corrected her “I’ve always wanted you, but because you’re so special to me, and you’re such a good mate I didn’t want to risk losing that, if you didn’t feel the same about me”

“So did you ever get close?” she asked softly

“Once or twice”

“And?” she queried

“You were in between completely unsuitable boyfriends who didn’t deserve you at the time” he said

“But I dithered around for too long so I wasn’t even able to catch you on the rebound”

Once the cat was out of the bag he thought he might at least get closure, for good or bad, but as it turned out he didn’t get to hear her response.

Samantha’s mouth opened but before she could speak there was a loud bang on the door.

“Who is it?” Sam yelled crossly

“It’s Loz you grumpy bint”

How ironic that his sister of all people would turn out to be the killjoy, she had been encouraging him for years to tell Sam how he felt.

“The door is open” Sam said

Lorraine opened the door and walked in and he was the first one she saw.

“Hey Mark, I’ve been looking for you” she said and then her eyes fell on Samantha

“Oh dear me, you look really rough” Lorraine said and laughed

“Shut up and have some respect for the dead” Samantha responded

“Well I suggest the corpse gets its zombie arse into the shower and then get your glad rags on” Loz instructed   

“Why what’s going on?” Sam asked

“We’re all going into Sharpington for lunch” Lorraine replied and then turned to me

“And you, we leave in an hour, come on”

She started out the door and was expecting me to follow.

But he stood in the doorway and turned to look at Sam

“I liked it when you called them my treasures” she said

“You’re the real treasure” he responded and she smiled and just before he closed the door he said

“Wear your lemon dress, you always look stunning in that”

 

When Mark had closed the door and walked down the steps he found Lorraine was waiting for him around the corner.

“Did you know Waldo did a runner last night?” she asked

“Yes” he replied

“So?” Lorraine asked

“So what?”

“So now’s the time to get to her before she gets tangled up with some other loser” Lorraine said

“What do you think I was doing in there when you interrupted?”

Lorraine stopped and grabbed his arm

“You told her?”

“Yes” he replied and started walking again

“So how did it go?” she shouted

“How do you think it went” he snapped “I’m out here with you”

 

Sam and Mark travelled to Sharpington in separate cars and as he was in the car Andy was driving they arrived in town ten minutes behind Louise and the girls despite the fact they were right on their bumper when they left Whitecliff Hill Park and the reason for that was because he drives like an 80 year old woman.

They were further delayed due to the fact that he is totally incapable of parallel parking, so by the time they reached the Ancient Mariner  the girls were already seated at the table and Mark ended up with Lou and Lottie between him and Sam.

It was a long and frustrating lunch, finding himself so far from the woman he loved, and the service was diabolical.

On that particular day of all days it didn’t help and although he was delighted to see that she was wearing the lemon dress as he suggested, every time he caught her eye she looked away immediately. 

 

After lunch the weather brightened so they all walked down to the seafront, Mark walked slowly behind the pack with his hands stuffed in his pockets and cursed his stupidity for making his declaration to her.

His worst fears had been realized, he had shared the secret he had kept to himself for 17 years and as he always knew would be the case if he spoke up, instead of winning her love he had now lost her friendship.   

“Why did I do it?” he said to himself and then he felt an arm slip through his, when he glanced sideways to see who the arm belonged he fully expected it to be Lorraine but he was amazed to see it was Samantha.

“I have a confession to make” she said

“Oh yes” he replied

“I think I chose totally unsuitable boyfriends who didn’t deserve me because I couldn’t have you” she said and then they came to a stop

“And now?” he asked with bated breath and Samantha, who had turned to face him, said

“I choose you”

And then she kissed him.

 

They walked the length of Sharpington seafront in the warm May sunshine, hand in hand and talked like they had never talked before.

And by the time they returned to the others it was almost evening.

“Come on you two” Lorraine called “We’re going to the pub as soon as we get back, you in?”

“Count us out we’ve got plans” Sam said

“Oh where are you two going then?” Lottie asked and he turned to look at Sam because he didn’t know what plans they had either and Samantha squeezed his hand and smiled at him.

“A treasure hunt” she replied and they both giggled

Everyone looked completely bemused by her answer and his response to it but suffice is to say they were in Samantha’s caravan until midafternoon on Bank Holiday Monday treasure hunting.

Downshire Diary – (37) Age Appropriate

 

The Finchbottom Vale nestles comfortably between the Ancient Dancingdean Forest to the south and the rolling Pepperstock Hills in the north and those who were lucky enough to live there think of it as the rose between two thorns and at the eastern end of the Vale were the Dulcets which were a collection of villages and hamlets comprising of Dulcet Meadow, Dulcet-on-Willow, Dulcet Green and Dulcet-on-Brooke, to name but a few, and of course Dulcet St Mary which was where the chair of the Sharpington Day Parade Fundraising Committee, Jayne Keeling, lived.

Jayne Keeling was a tall elegant woman in her late fifties and spent a lot of money on, Spa’s, beauty treatments and manicures and the like to keep herself looking that way.

She lived alone in a large detached Georgian country cottage in a well-heeled leafy corner of the village and it was a bright early autumn morning when she lay cosily beneath her duvet and reflected on what had been a very interesting and eventful summer.

Jayne was over fifty, well, well over fifty actually, in fact she was not only the wrong side of that particular milestone she was fast approaching the next one and she was divorced to boot.

But she wasn’t a lonely divorcee, because she had a wide circle of friends, but no special someone.

 

Although five years earlier there was someone, she had a lover, a young lover, more than 30 years younger to be precise which she supposed made her a cougar.

Jayne had just come through a rather bitter divorce when they got together, not that she was particularly heartbroken by the ordeal or needed picking up from it.

In fact she didn’t really mind being divorced, she hardly ever saw her husband Graham when they were together anyway, he was always on the golf course or in the 19th or more often than not he was with his secretary.

 

But when the affair began with her young lover, Kenny, it opened her eyes and showed her that she was still an attractive woman, still a sexy woman for that matter, still a desirable woman and her ex-husband Graham clearly never appreciated that.

Her lover was her next door neighbour’s son, 25 years old with the body of an Adonis, the face of a catalogue model and a brain the size of an avocado and incredible stamina. 

 

She was immensely flattered to still attract male attention at her age, she had had so little attention paid to her by her ex-husband that she had forgotten how attractive she was and Kenny was very attentive, very considerate and extremely vigorous.

A session with him was like Zumba and Pilates combined with mild electrocution.

After a weekend with him she was quite literally shagged out and needed the best part of a week to recover.

Not that she wanted to seem ungrateful, as many women in her position, or positions, would have been quite envious if she’d ever told anyone about him and what he did to her and how often, they certainly would not have been sympathetic if she enlightened them.

After all there was a lot to be said for being orgasmed to the point of unconsciousness at any age, but for a very much over fifty even more so.

It was just that sometimes she would have been quite happy with an early night and a cuddle.

 

If her affair with Kenny went on too long she wasn’t at all sure that his vital and sustained attention wouldn’t shag her into an early grave.

Plus the fact she was no teenager anymore and getting ready for a date that would end with her being stripped naked and well and truly ravished took a lot longer than it used to do.

As a teen, a squirt of perfume and some lippy and she was good to go.

Now she needed 24 hours’ notice a good night sleep and five hours to prepare.

 

At the time she and Kenny got together she wasn’t looking for a man of any description and she certainly wasn’t looking for a toy boy, she hadn’t even asked to have her grass cut, he had volunteered, so she truly was an accidental Cougar.

 

It all began one early summer’s day when Kenny’s mother, Emily, volunteered her Estate Agent son to spend his day off cutting her not insubstantial lawns.

It was a very hot day, which got all the hotter for Jayne when Kenny took off his shirt and his muscular well-toned torso glistened with sweat and by the end of the day she was at boiling point and when he had finished all the lawns and was ready to abandon his horticultural endeavours and focus his prowess towards attending to her.

 

Jayne was in the kitchen getting him a beer from the fridge when he walked up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist and began kissing her neck.

And before she could even protest he had turned her around and kissed her mouth and then she didn’t want to protest anymore.

Jayne was still holding the beer in one hand and a glass in the other and then the next thing she knew they were in her bed.

She knew it was wrong but she hadn’t had a man’s hands on her for two years and all she could do was hope he didn’t stop.

 

That early summer afternoon was the first of many such occasions when she was on the receiving end of some youthful loving.

But as Jayne lay beneath her duvet one morning she wondered if it was worth it, well obviously when she was in her bed it was clearly worth it.

But sex with Kenny, although really marvellous, was also very exhausting.

What she really wanted was someone of her own age, who would appreciate her for what she was when she wasn’t glammed up, someone she could be herself with.

Not that useless article of an ex-husband though, someone kind and considerate.

But what Kenny had done more than anything that summer, was to remind her how much she enjoyed sex and once she had tasted the sweet sensual nectar of lust once again she had an appetite for it that she needed to quench.

 

So as she lay beneath the duvet she made an important decision, she wouldn’t see Kenny again, because his stamina really could have been the death of her so she would instead seek out a less vigorous partner and with the momentous decision made she snuggled down beneath the duvet and went back to sleep and dreamed of someone to cuddle.

 

The Vale was once a great wetland that centuries earlier stretched from Mornington in the East to Childean in the west and from Shallowfield in the south to Purplemere in the north.

But over the many centuries the vast majority had been drained for agriculture, a feat achieved largely by the efforts of famous Mornington Mills, of which only three had survived to the present day and even those were no longer functional and were in various states of repair but in one of them, Dulcet’s Mill, was where Robin Jeffrey lived.

 

He was one of the two senior partners of Jeffrey and Teague veterinary practice but he was now retired.

The 64 year old widow, whose children were all living independent lives chose the solitary existence where he could spend his time enjoying the two thing that gave him the most pleasure, birdwatching, which he could do from his vantage point in the top of the mill and fishing which he could do in the River Brooke which ran no more than twenty yards from his front door.

 

He was fifty seven years old when he was widowed, living in Purplemere, and immediately after his wife’s death he seemed to suddenly appear on the radar of the local spinster’s, widows and divorcees in and around his own age.

In fact it all started at his wife’s funeral where he was buttonholed by two well-presented mourners who made it perfectly clear he could avail himself of them if he chose to do so.

But it was many months after his dear wife was laid to rest and only after repeatedly rebuffing the endless advances of even the most attractive of the local pursuing vamps that he finally decided out of desperation and loneliness to dip his toe in the water and began dating but his heart was never really in it.

But he would probably have continued trying nonetheless but for a providential collision.

When quite by chance on one damp miserable day he met Wendy in Stephenson’s Supermarket car park after a minor fender bender.

She was a very beautiful woman, tall and willowy with long light ginger hair, and a smiling freckled face.

Wendy was a much younger woman than Tom had of late been involved with, in fact she was a considerably younger woman than he, whom at the time he looked upon her merely as a casual observer, although he thought she was attractive and shapely with her Lycra outfit doing nothing to hide her assets, he completely overlooked the fact that he was a man and she was a woman, because he believed she couldn’t possibly be interested in an old man like him.

And although they laughed and joked and she flicked at her hair flirtatiously he was flattered but for him it was a nonstarter, the stuff of cheap fiction, or so he thought at least, but in time he was to find out that he was wrong.

 

It was a warm summer Saturday afternoon a few days after the accident when Wendy knocked on his door.

“Oh hello” he said doing a double take when he recognised the beautiful smiling young woman, not dressed in Lycra or with her hair up this time, but her ginger tresses flowed free and she was wearing a summer dress, and very little else as far as he could tell.

“Hi Robin” she said and flicked her wayward hair off her face.

“This is a surprise” he said

“I wanted to make sure you were ok” Wendy said and proffered to him a bottle of wine “And apologize again”

“There really is no need” Robin insisted

“I thought there was” Wendy retorted

“Well this is very kind of you” he said “but I can’t accept it unless you join me in drinking it”

“I thought you would never ask” she said

“Well you make yourself comfortable on the patio and I’ll get some glasses” he said

 

So Wendy walked out through the French doors while he went into the kitchen and got two glasses from the cupboard and after opening the bottle of Pinot he poured two generous glasses of the wine and headed towards the patio.

He stepped outside with a glass in each hand but his uninvited guest was nowhere to be seen, at least not at first.

Robin had assumed she had just taken a turn around the garden while she was waiting and was about to put the glasses down and go in search of her when she suddenly came into view.

“You see I made myself comfortable” she said as she stood on the edge of the patio with the greenery of the garden behind her wearing a bracelet on her wrist, rings on her fingers and a smile on her face and absolutely nothing else.

He returned her smile and then his eyes began to view her in detail beginning with her ginger tresses, streaked with gold from the sun which he followed as they hung down to her naked white shoulders and then every inch of her topography down to the ground.

“So I can see” he replied still holding the wine glasses, and then she began to walk towards him.

Well if the vision of her standing naked had mesmerised him it was nothing in comparison to the view of the naked Wendy when she set her gorgeous body in motion as she walked slowly and deliberately getting the maximum movement into each delicious step until they were standing nose to nose and she kissed him.

And so began a long and torrid relationship between the 57 year old vet and the 23 years old fitness instructor.

 

He felt faintly ridiculous having a 23 year old girlfriend and had a feeling of extreme amazement and delight, though more amazement if he was completely honest.

His wife Mary would have laughed like a drain if she could have seen him with a girl whom she would have considered a child, he really missed his wife.

 

Robin thought that the sex with Wendy was amazing and it made his toes curl, she was supple, agile and pliable in fact she was really quite exceptionally bendy, he even called her bendy Wendy, and she had near inexhaustible stamina.

But even though Wendy was really sexy and a more than accomplished sexual partner she was unfortunately duller than ditch water.

She was “fun” to be with when he was benefiting from her expertise, but her company wasn’t stimulating other than in the obvious way.

Any red bloodied man not in his position would have thought him quite mad for wanting to end it.

But she had no conversation and was the very definition of vacuous.

Gorgeous, sexy, horny as hell and truly accomplished in the sexual arts, but as dumb as a stick.

 

The truth was that Wendy did not meet all his needs other than the physical.

What Robin wanted was someone like his wife, someone who loved him and who he could love and more importantly talk too.

Someone who knew that Muffin the Mule wasn’t a sexual offence, someone who didn’t think Mr Pastry was a 1960 version of Paul Hollywood and a woman who remembered a time when you had to get up to change the TV channel.

Wendy was not the answer to this want.

Nor could she fill his desire for some nice gentle love making and an affectionate cuddle, some grown up conversation.

Wendy was not someone he could fall asleep in front of the TV with so he decided to end it.

 

It was a difficult conversation when Robin ended the short breathless affair with the 23 year old fitness instructor.

What he couldn’t tell her was that one of his biggest gripes about having such a young girlfriend was the dullness of her pillow talk.

Wendy was born into a generation that had so many means of communication at their disposal yet she still had nothing meaningful to say.

There was a lot to be said for being with a woman who was wrinkle free and supple, but it was what was said afterwards that he craved.

 

So in the time post Wendy, and being on his own, truly on his own he had harked back to his youth and the days before his six pack became victim to too many six packs.

His middle aged physique tended more towards the party seven than a six pack.

He smiled at the thought of the party seven, because Wendy wouldn’t have got the joke, it would have gone right over her head.

He also reflected on his old girlfriends of the day with their firm buttocks, flat stomachs and gravity defying breasts which stirred his loins in his lustful nostalgia.

Part of him wanted to return to those carefree days of youth.

When all that teenage sex was so wonderful, when he had such limited sexual experience, and so much of the fun was in the learning.

All the reminiscing left him with a certain longing but he knew the past could not be relived or recaptured.

 

There had been no one else after her toy boy, her dreams of having someone to cuddle had not come to fruition.

So Jayne Keeling lived alone in her large detached Georgian country cottage in a well-heeled leafy corner of the village of Dulcet St Mary.

 

Five years had passed since Jayne had gone through a long exhausting affair with an estate agent 30 years her junior.

And although he stimulated every cell in her body with monotonous regularity for the sake of her health and sanity she decided she would look after her own wants and needs and kicked him into touch.

What she craved was something he couldn’t give her.

She was looking for a companion, a confidant and a friend and not just someone to have sex with, as nice as the sex had been.

 

Jayne was immensely flattered at her age to attract the attentions of such a young lover, but the price for such toe curling sexual encounters was too high to pay.

What she longed for was to be with someone with life experience, someone she could have a proper conversation with in between the love making or even instead of it.

It didn’t have to be deep and meaningful converse just a bit more intellectual than he said/she said.

 

So what Jayne wanted was the same thing that Robin Jeffrey craved, someone they could talk too, not about anything earth shattering, it could be as simple as a common history or shared knowledge, someone who knew the name of the dragon in Ivor the Engine, or someone who watched Brief Encounter and didn’t think it was funny, someone who had heard of Biafra, Aberfan and the Torrey Canyon or remembered when there were only three TV channels.

Someone who remembered being able to play music at the wrong speed on a gramophone and who remembered having to wait for the black and white TV set to warm up.

Just someone who understood what the other was saying and wouldn’t stare vacantly at you when you mentioned an event that happened pre 1990.

 

Both of them had put a stop to their respective cradle snatching relationships and put their hopes in something more age appropriate and eventually their wishes were answered when one day, after five fallow years, a mutual friend introduced them to each other at a dinner party.

The friend was Lynn Cooper who lived on Teardrop Lake, and her daughter Jane did the cooking.

During the course of the evening in between the main course and desert Robin leant over and asked

“Do you remember 8 track stereo?”

Jayne smiled and nodded and all at once realised the significance of the question.

 

So Jayne and Robin, at the age of 59 and 64 respectively, finally both got their wish answered and they had their first date a week later which presented them both with more concerns.

Whenever you reach a certain age in life you will have acquired to a greater or lesser degree an unfortunate body shape and gravity becomes your enemy and a simple mirror becomes something to be avoided.

He never had doubts when he was dating the local widows and spinsters in Purplemere or even during his torrid affair with Bendy Wendy, not that she gave him time to think.

But on that occasion the image in the mirror dented his self-confidence, because that time it really mattered.

It was completely irrational, after all it was the same out of shape middle-aged body that had served him well enough.

His face had stood the test of time and he was genuinely quite presentable for his age when dressed in an expensive suit, it was just when he was out of it he was likely to scare the animals.

He really liked Jayne and he was hoping that would be reciprocated by the not unattractive divorcée Jayne Keeling.

 

Jayne had been having much the same internal discussion as she stood before her own mirror the only difference was that she had been doing it for three hours longer.

Her body was in quite good shape she hadn’t given birth or had a hysterectomy so her body had not reached the level of decline that some of her contemporary’s had.

Plus since she had been put through a long intimate summer workout by the gardening Estate Agent five years earlier which had kept her well limbered up, she had maintained a strict workout regime.

Finally she deemed herself satisfied with the final look, she just hoped it would suffice for him.

She had high hopes of Robin Jeffrey, she was hopeful he might fill the hole in her life.

 

Jayne had spent five hours getting ready which involved applying endless lotions, potions, creams and balms as well as expensive underwear.

And all the time she was dressing she was imagining Robin undressing her.

And when she looked at the final result of her efforts in the mirror she had no doubts at that moment she would get her man.

 

The date went very well, dinner at the Cloche Hat in Dulcet-on-Brooke and then back to Jayne’s for coffee.

The kiss came while they waited for the kettle to boil and the moment their lips met Robin was more concerned about bringing Jayne to the boil.

They were both strangely nervous so Jayne went upstairs on her own to prepare herself and Robin followed ten minutes later.

 

“That’s more like it” Robin said to himself as they lay cuddling in the afterglow and Jayne thought to herself

“That was very acceptable”

They had made love for the first time, and that was the difference, making love was so much nicer than just having sex.

And as they lay in the darkness they had the most banal and trivial conversations which lasted into the small hours and when they had finished instead of making love again they just cuddled up and went to sleep.

There would be plenty of time for more love making and many other interesting conversations.

Downshire Diary – (36) At the Church Weekend

 

It was springtime and the sap was rising and so were Anthony Flood’s spirits.

He and his sister Jane were driving through the countryside of the Finchbottom Vale to the Dancingdean Spa Hotel in Childean for a church weekend.

But it wasn’t the thought of seminars and inspirational talks that had 44 year old Anthony full of vim and vigour.

It was the thought of Fiona Fortson that had him loaded and ready to fire.

She was 12 years younger than he and they had recently declared their love for each other.

It had begun in the St Dunstan’s church stationary cupboard one Sunday morning with a prolonged kiss and was continued two weeks later on her sofa where she was nursing a badly sprained ankle.

 

He wasn’t a womaniser by nature, but Anthony had always had a roving eye, and quite unashamedly ogled woman at every opportunity but he was never a player just a lustful voyeur.

But once he had tasted the forbidden fruit of Fiona Fortson lips he was hooked and he wanted more.

 

Fiona stood a towering 4 feet 11 in her stocking feet and when he saw her face with those large saucer eyes and a warm mesmerizing smile it was a pivotal moment for him.

They hit it off immediately and he was instantly attracted to her, a love at first sight kind of thing, and that was before he’d even heard her speak in her posh Carrington Chase educated voice.

Carrington Chase being Downshire’s version of Roedean, although those in Downshire thought it was the other way around.

He’d always been turned on by well-spoken women and turned off by common ones.

For him there was no greater turn off than to see a spectacularly beautiful woman open her mouth and speak in a rough colloquial accent. 

But sexy as her accent might have been and as remarkably beautiful as Fiona’s face was, her figure on the other hand was singularly unremarkable.

She had short chubby legs, a flat chest and a barely distinguishable waist.

Although her bum was an altogether different proposition and each buttock was beautifully defined inside her khaki cargo pants and      

Fiona dressed like a tomboy in cargo pants, t-shirt and plaid shirts and he loved every inch of her.

 

Unfortunately since the afternoon they kissed on her sofa while she was in her pyjamas while she was laid up with a sprained ankle they hadn’t been able to repeat the experience and he didn’t hold out much hope for that weekend either.

Fiona would be there but she was sharing a room with her flatmate Judith and Anthony was with his sister Jane and the Hotel would be full of people they knew so the chances were slim of them being able to sneak a kiss.

It had occurred to him that it was the chance of being caught that heightened the state of excitement, such was the side effect that came with liaisons dangereuses but he would have been happier if everyone had known.

And he had a cunning plan.

 

Anthony and his sister Jane checked into the Hotel just after 4pm on Thursday afternoon and they were the first of their party to arrive.

It was a nice place, well equipped, something for everyone, swimming pool, golf course, spa treatments, gym, sauna and country walks.

After depositing their bags in their room and unpacking they returned downstairs to have coffee in the lounge and spent a pleasant hour watching the comings and goings of their fellow guests.

Where he gleaned the information that, Fiona and her roommate Judith were only booked in for the Friday and Saturday night and wouldn’t be arriving until Friday morning.

This was disappointing news for Anthony as it severely narrowed the window of opportunity for him to have some stolen moments with Fiona.

 

The next day Anthony breakfasted early and then loitered in reception hoping to see Fiona’s arrival.

His vigil ended abruptly when Jane came down with a detailed itinerary of their day and so his chance had gone.

 

It was late morning when he and Jane next passed through reception and there Fiona was sat in one of the huge chairs with her stocking feet on the table reading her kindle.

Jane went upstairs to her room to freshen up before lunch and Anthony sat down opposite Fiona

“Hello” he said “you look comfortable”

“Hi Anthony” she replied “I am”

“Do you have any plans for the afternoon?” he asked

The mornings were structured, with seminars and study groups and the like but every afternoon was a free period and there were a range of activities for guests to do.

“No I’m not signed up for anything” she replied

“Good, meet me by the car at 2 o’clock” he said and then he squeezed her knee and added “wear your girl clothes”

 

A group of Fiona’s friends arrived and so Anthony excused himself and went upstairs.

He and his sister arrived back down and walked briskly into the restaurant.

The restaurant was a self-service buffet affair, so they queued up and Jane was very enthused throughout, even during lunch as they both ate a very palatable Mushroom Stroganoff.

“So what are you going to do in the free period?” he asked Jane as they finished their desert.

“I’m going to annihilate the vicar’s wife on the croquet lawn” she replied and guffawed “What about you?”

“Nothing quite so brutal, something more suitable for a man of sensibilities” he said and chuckled

“Something wimpy you mean” she replied and guffawed again

 

At two o’clock on the dot Fiona was standing by his car wearing a blouse, skirt, tights and smart shoes and Anthony arrived a minute later and he was smartly dressed and carrying a large brown envelope.

“Where are we going?” she asked “and why have you made me dress like a girl in the daylight?”

“Get in the car and explain on the way” he said

“On the way where?” Fiona asked

“Get in sweetheart and I’ll explain” he said

 

“So where are we going?” she asked as they drove out of the car park and in response he handed her the brown envelope.

“Look in there and then you’ll know”

Fiona tipped the contents of the envelope onto her lap and a minute later she looked and him and asked

“Are you sure?”

 

It was late afternoon when Anthony and Fiona returned and he parked in the most private part of the car park where he could kiss her goodbye with no on lookers and then he drove her to the quietest entrance so she could slip into the Hotel relatively unnoticed.

 

They didn’t see each other for the rest of the day because some bright spark thought it would be a good idea to divide the guests into four groups for the evening activities and they put Anthony and Fiona in different groups. 

 

The next morning Anthony breakfasted early and then loitered at his table in the restaurant hoping to see Fiona arriving for her full English.

His vigil ended abruptly when his sister Jane appeared instead with another one of her detailed itineraries of their day and so his chance had gone.

It was such a very full itinerary that it was late afternoon when he and Jane passed through reception and he was delighted to see Fiona sitting there in one of the huge chairs with her stocking feet on the table and she was chatting with friends.

“Order some coffee Anthony” Jane said “I just need to take a tablet”

Anthony knew that “A tablet” meant she was getting one of her heads which if she could catch early enough would not become a migraine.

“Ok” he said

He ordered coffee and then went over to where Fiona was sitting.

“Hello” he said “you look comfortable”

“Hi Anthony” she replied and gave him a beaming smile

“We walked too far and now my feet are sore”

One or two of her friends had already made a move so there were some empty seats, so he took the nearest one to Fiona.

“You need a hot bath” her friend Judith suggested

“Yes I’ll have one when I go up” she said

“Well I’m going for one now” Judith said and picked up the key card from the table.

“Ok I’ll see you up there” Fiona replied

“Goodbye Mr Flood” she said

“Bye Judith”

“Do you want me to rub your feet?” he asked when they were alone

“Perhaps I can rub the ache away”

“Yes please” she said and put her feet on his lap   

“But you know very well that’s not where the ache is” she whispered

“And it’s a long way away from where I want your hands to be”

Before he had a chance to answer Jane arrived.

“Ah there you are Anthony” she said “Hello Fiona, have you been walking?”

“Yes” she replied

“Sore feet?” Jane added, to which Fiona responded with a nod and Jane was in complete simpatico without further explanation.

He didn’t participate in the conversation which allowed Anthony took the time to rerun their conversation in his head, particularly the last part.

He liked it when Fiona talked dirty, he always thought things sounded twice as dirty when a posh girl said it, and it was doubly dirty when a posh Christian girl said it.

It aroused him greatly as her words echoed inside his head despite the fact he was sat in between his sister and the woman he loved.

After a few minutes Fiona picked up her shoes and stood up.

“Well I’m for the bath” she said “Hopefully I’ll see you later”

“Yes indeed” Jane replied although Anthony knew it was directed at him.

 

When they came down for dinner that evening he didn’t see Fiona anywhere, although in truth she was so tiny she was easy to miss in a crowd.

On the pretence of mingling Anthony wandered around the reception looking for her in every nook and cranny but there was no sign.

When it came time to go through to the restaurant he positioned himself in proximity to the door so he could check the faces in the crowd but she wasn’t there.

 

After a very enjoyable dinner, Jane had to excuse herself as her headache of earlier had indeed become a migraine.

Anthony accompanied her up to the room as when she got a bad migraine she got visual distortion one she was safely in the room he returned to the dining room for the after dinner speeches after which he discreetly searched for the lovely Fiona in the many rooms and lounges.

Anyway when he had looked everywhere twice he made his way upstairs.   

“About bloody time” she said as he walked down the corridor causing him to almost jump out of his skin.

When he regained his composure he turned around to find Fiona standing by an open door and she was wearing girl’s clothes, but not from her wardrobe it was clearly something she had borrowed for the occasion.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you” he said

“I fell asleep” she confessed “and I missed dinner”

“You must be starving” Anthony said sympathetically “do you want to get something to eat”

“Hunger isn’t the appetite I need to satisfy” she said and took his hand

“Where’s Judith?” he asked

“She’s in her boyfriend Roger’s room getting a rogering” she said and giggled at her joke

“So are you inviting me in?” he asked

“Do you need an invitation?” she asked nonchalantly raising the hem of her skirt tantalizingly up one thigh, leaving him in no doubt what was on the menu.

“Well it’s nice to be asked” Anthony responded

“Well come and get it then” Fiona said and dragged him into her room.

 

It was five o’clock when he reluctantly slipped out of the sleeping Fiona’s bed and crept back to his own room.

But he was seen leaving by Mrs Patmore who was just leaving her room to go for an early morning swim and by 8 o’clock when he walked into the restaurant Mrs P had spread the word so that everyone present was privy to the information and the room went absolutely silent.

“Good morning” Anthony said, completely un phased by his reception and went straight to the hot breakfast buffer counter and put together a plate of hot food and went and sat down at a vacant table.

“You should be absolutely ashamed of yourself” Mrs Patmore said “And what poor Jane will think when she hears about your antics”

“She already knows” he said and just at that moment Fiona walked in and made a bee line for Anthony

“Morning everyone” she said brightly

“And look at you, you brazen hussy” Mrs P said

“Our secret is out” Anthony said

“So it would appear” she said and kissed him “Judith gave me the heads up”

“You’re absolutely shameless” Mrs Patmore expressed and Fiona drew herself up to her maximum of 4 foot 11 inches and retorted

“I’ve done nothing to be ashamed Mrs. Patmore, I merely shared my bed with my husband”

And she punctuated her statement by thrusting her left hand under Mrs P’s nose so she could see her wedding ring and the whole mood of the room changed and Mrs Patmore got lost in the crowd of well-wishers with a barrage of blessings and questions.

Downshire Diary – (35) An Unexpected Visitor

 

Clare Harwood and her mother Anna lived in the village of Clarence which was a mile or so from Purplemere.

She was 27 years old, pale skinned, strawberry blonde, five foot nothing tall and whippet thin and her mother was just an older version of her daughter.

Her Father David had died the year before and as she was an only child there was only the two of them.

They both worked at the Royal Downshire Hospital in Purplemere Anna was a clerical officer and Clare was a district nurse.

She looked much younger than her 27 years and her pale skin was always flushed pink like she was freshly scrubbed and the one thing she loved even more than her job was to flirt and she was a first class at it.

Yet she never did anything more than that and she really enjoyed flirting, and that was as far as it ever went until the time that her pig of a boyfriend, who she had suspected was shagging her best friend, confessed it to her one night and from that moment on she became something of a party girl.

And what a party girl she became, a real “burning the candle at both ends” and toxing her socks off kind of party girl.

 

But that all changed when for Mother’s Day, Clare had bought a three day, all-inclusive spa break for her mum, plus one, at the Tipton Manor Hotel and Spa in the north of the county.

She booked for two because she knew her mum would never go to a place like that on her own.

But her mum insisted she wanted to go with Clare, so they could spend some quality time together doing girls stuff.

Well that wasn’t the kind of thing Clare had in mind, it wasn’t her kind of thing at all.

So it was with some trepidation that she agreed to accompany her mum but while she was there she met and fell in love with Phil Grice.

 

As a district nurse she had a number of regular home visit, terminally ill or housebound patients which kept her very busy but she had a few days off.

But despite having the time off she was still having a very busy week and by the time she returned to the District Nursing office she would probably relish the change of pace.

She had spent the week at home in the house she shared with her mum doing chores.

It had now been six weeks since she had first kissed Phil, a kiss that had changed her life, but it was also three weeks since she had seen him as he was away in America working on an Art installation.

Since meeting Phil she had curbed her partying but her thoughts kept wandering to Phil and his strong hands.

Which was why when she was told she had to take some leave she had decided to spring clean the house from top to bottom to keep herself occupied.  

She had dusted, vacuumed, washed, mopped and polished, and bedding was washed as was every curtain.

So by Friday lunchtime the whole house was gleaming and as she admired her handiwork she was wearing a smug look of satisfaction.

 

After Clare had dusted, vacuumed, washed, mopped and polished, and bedding was washed as was every curtain.

So by Friday lunchtime the whole house was gleaming and as she admired her handiwork she was wearing a smug look of satisfaction.

She had just put the kettle on when there was a knock at the door and when she opened the door a man of about her age was standing there.

“Can I help?” she said

“Clare!” the man said

“Yes that’s me” she said

“It’s Gary” he said, slightly put out that he had to give his name. “From Purplemere High School”

“Oh Gary” Clare said “I didn’t recognise you”

“Apparently so” Gary said

Gary was her first boyfriend and her first sexual partner.

 “Come in” she said amused at his annoyance

 

They were sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee when she asked

“How did you find me?”

“I got your address from your friend Karen” he said

“Why?” she asked

“Well I knew I was going to be in the area and I thought I would look you up”

He replied unconvincingly

“You never were a very good liar” she said

“Ok I’ve been thinking about you a lot recently” he confessed

“Karen told me you were still single”

“Oh yes” Clare said suspiciously and cleared the cups to the sink.

“I think we should get back together” he said

“What?” she said turning around in surprise

“We were good together” Gary said

“We were just kids” she said “And we haven’t seen each other for ten years, we’re strangers”

“Never strangers” he said

“And you’re married aren’t you” she said

“Separated” he corrected her “permanently separated”

“Well I’m sorry to hear that” she said “But…”

“She betrayed me” he said with affront

“So you want to get back at her by going out with me” she said

“No Clare” he replied “You’ve always been the one”

And he leant in and kissed her and she pushed him away.

“What are you doing?” she said angrily

“You always said I was a good kisser”

“Well it was pleasant enough” she said “At the time”

“Only pleasant?” Gary responded

“I’m afraid so” she replied

“So what about us getting back together?” Gary asked

“No” Clare replied

“You always were a slut” he said harshly

“And you were always dull” she replied and opened the front door and after he went through it she slammed it behind him.

 

She was still angry five minutes after she had thrown Gary out and was still livid when there was another knock.

“Bloody hell Gary can’t you take a hint?” she said as she opened the door and then her mouth fell open when she saw Phil standing there and after a few moments she launched herself into his arms.

“I thought you weren’t back for another week” she said when he was in the house.

“I finished earlier than I thought” he said “and I was in a hurry to get home to see you”

“Why didn’t you let me know” she said

“I wanted it to be a surprise” Phil said with a smile “and I see that it was”

Clare suddenly realised she was wearing her house work clothes and she screeched when she looked in the mirror

“Oh god I look at absolute fright” she said and rushed out of the room

 

Clare returned an hour later looking more appropriately dressed to receive the man she loved and Phil was so pleased with what he saw that she had to dress again an hour later before he took her out for dinner.