Downshire Diary – (39) The Plumber’s Tale

 

The Finchbottom Vale is nestled comfortably between the Ancient Dancingdean Forest to the south and the rolling Pepperstock Hills in the north, those who are lucky enough to live there think of it as the rose between two thorns.

The Vale was once a great wetland that centuries earlier stretched from Mornington in the East to Childean in the west and from Shallowfield in the south to Purplemere in the north.

But over the many centuries the vast majority had been drained for agriculture, a feat achieved largely by the efforts of famous Mornington Mills, of which only three had survived to the present day and even those were no longer functional and were in various states of repair.  

There were only three small bodies of water left in the Vale now one in Mornington, one in Childean and third of course was Purplemere which was to the north of the Vale, in the lee of Pepperstock Hills, lay the modest town of the same name.

On the western side of the town was the residential area known as Hill Side, and in one of its many quiet road, was the home of Pennant’s.

And it was the day before Dave Pennant’s 15th birthday when he first saw Louise Spry and he thought to himself

“That’s what I want for my birthday”

She was two year older than he was and as it turned out she was in the 6th form at the same school as him, but she was two classes above him in every other respect as well as age.

Dave had a half-brother, Andy, and Louise Spry was his new girlfriend.

“Lucky bastard” Dave thought to himself

Andy was two years older than him as well and they didn’t like each other very much, in fact they didn’t like each other at all.

They had nothing in common other than sharing a mother, they didn’t even share a surname, he was Pennant and Andy’s was Bates.

He was better at sports than Dave, he was more academic than Dave and he was better looking as well.

But not only did they not like each other it was a dislike that would stand the test of time for them both.

 

After Andy and Louise had been going out for a few weeks she started staying over at his house on Friday or Saturday night, sometimes both.

On the second or third occasion, which was a Friday night, when she arrived at the house she dumped her coat and hand bag on the hall table.

Well not so much a hand bag, it was actually more like a holdall, it was enormous, but the clasp on it was a bit iffy and as a result it was gaping open.

Which was how Dave spotted a splash of red in her bag as he walked down the stairs.

It aroused his curiosity somewhat so he decided it should be investigated and on closer inspection it turned out to be where she kept her clean underwear and the flash of red turned out to be a pair of red lace knickers adorned with little satin ribbons.

The effect on him was instantaneous and it was no longer just his curiosity that was aroused.

It had a profound effect on him and reinforced his feeling for his first crush.

 

Over the six months his despicable half-brother Andy and the lust of his life Louise were going out together Dave’s feelings for her deepened and that situation would doubtless have continued indefinitely but for the fact that his arsehole half-brother decided to play away with some skanky tart from behind the bar at the Crown and Anchor.

 

Dave couldn’t believe Andy had cheated on Louise with some sad old slapper when he had a quality bird like Louise at his side.

He was absolutely devastated when Andy broke up with Louise and the realisation sunk in that he wasn’t going to see her again.

He consoled himself with the fact that it wouldn’t have lasted much longer anyway as they both went off to University that September so his opportunities to see the lovely Louise at close quarters would have diminished anyway.

 

Dave was never the academic type so college and then University was never going to work for him so he left school the following year and managed with the help of his father to get an apprenticeship as a plumber at a big local firm called Drakes.

His parents were very supportive and they appreciated that he had his own path to follow and that path brought him his own relationships and his own lovers along the way, although they never quite measured up to Louise Spry, and it was when he started at Drakes that he met Mark Jordon and they instantly became best mates.

When they got talking they found that they had quite a lot in common, he also had a step sibling, although in his case it was a half-sister called Scarlet and he got on really well with her.

He was also the youngest of two and he sucked academically too, while Scarlet was brilliant and was going to sail through her degree and follow it with a Masters.  

 

Mark’s Dad, Danny, had bought an old wreck of a house just before he met Marks mum, Nicole, and it had always been very much a work in progress.

And although he had completed 90 percent of it he wouldn’t have really considered it finished until the extension was done, and more to the point nor would his wife.

So he had decided that 20 years on a project was more than enough so he decided to get Mark and Dave to help him as they were in their fourth year at Drakes, and there was plumbing to do.

The shell was up and the electrics and some of the plastering was done but as the two story extension was to house the new kitchen and bathroom he wanted the boys to help him with the plumbing.  

So on the Easter weekend Dave was staying in the spare room at the Jordan’s so they could get as much done over the holiday weekend as possible.

 

It was Good Friday and they were up early and Mark’s mum Nicole made them doorstep bacon butties for breakfast to give them a head start.

Nicole had poured herself a bath and they were just waiting for Scarlet to finish in the shower so they could turn the water off and drain the system down before they could crack on.

Danny and Mark then went off to the builders and plumbers merchants to buy some more materials so they wouldn’t have any holdups over the weekend, and they were all hoping to have a lazy Monday before they went back to work on Tuesday.

 

While Danny and Mark were out Dave started carrying stuff up to what was going to be the new bathroom.

The only access was via a ladder from the kitchen to be, they hadn’t cut the doorways through to the house yet to cut down on drafts as the winter was barely over.

There were one or two sizable holes where the old air vents used to be but other than that it was sealed.

When Dave had climbed the ladder and he was in the new bathroom he could tell Nicole was in the bath already as he could hear her through the wall splashing about in the tub.

He stacked the tools in the corner and was just about to head back down the ladder for another load when he heard someone open a door and step heavily onto the landing.

Dave knew it wasn’t Nicole as he could still hear her through the wall so he thought that it must be Mark’s elusive sister Scarlet, who he still hadn’t met at that point, so intrigued to finally lay eyes on her he thought he would look through the hole where the vent used to be and see what she looked like, Mark was always going on a about her, saying how perfect she was, so he thought he’d judge for himself just how special she was.

His first sight of her was as she walked into the toilet, she was only wearing a bra, pants and tights, and he assumed she must have been taken short before she’d finished dressing.

He had to admit that even from behind she looked pretty special.

It occurred to him to tell her there was no water to flush with but then she turned around and his jaw dropped, the semi naked girl was Louise Spry and the thought to alert her to the water shortage left his mind.

And by the time it returned she had closed and locked the toilet door,

It wasn’t an unusual occurrence as a plumber to happen upon naked or semi naked women, sometimes by accident and others by their own design, though when they wanted you to see, it wasn’t quite the same level of excitement.

But what Dave Pennant had seen walking half naked across the landing wasn’t just any girl, it was Louise Spry, the object of his lust, she was the Holy Grail of his desires.

It was only after she had reappeared through the bathroom door that he wondered why Louise Spry was in his best mates bathroom entertaining the plumber.

Shortly after his ponderings went unresolved he heard the front door close, so he hurried down the ladder but by the time he got outside all he could see was the back of Ford Fiesta disappearing through the gate. 

 

They worked really hard on the extension and so he didn’t get to see the illusive Louise Spry again until two days later on the afternoon of Easter Sunday.

They had taken a break from their labours and were sitting on the patio drinking tea and enjoying some of Nicole’s delicious fruit cake

“Hi Scarlet” Nicole said over Dave’s shoulder so he half turned around to look at her and he nearly choked.

“Hello” Louise replied

“This is…” Mark began

“I know you” she said “you’re David”

“That’s right” He replied “Dave, but I remember you as Louise”

Everyone laughed at Dave’s observation and then Mark explained

“Scarlet is a family name, Dad used to call her “Miss Scarlet” when she was little because she blushed all the time”

Dave smiled but what brought a smile to his lips was the thought of how much she would have blushed if she’d seen him watching her through the airbrick.

 

The next day they still hadn’t finished everything they had planned to do, despite the best efforts of all involved, and it was apparent that they wouldn’t even if they worked at it all day.

So Nicole prepared one of her cooked breakfasts, and they would have a leisurely start to the day and then get on and do a bit more, even Scarlet/Louise did a bit. 

But they had only been working for about two hours when Mark fell off the ladder in the extension and broke his arm.  

Danny and Nicole got him in the car ready to take the wounded soldier to A&E at The Royal Downshire Hospital. 

“I don’t want you working up there on your own Dave” Danny said

“Ok” Dave replied “I’ll just reconnect the water, and tidy up a bit”

“Thanks lad” he replied

“Text us” Dave suggested

“Will do” Danny said and drove off

Dave did as he had promised and Louise cleared the breakfast things and got the kitchen straight.

And despite not planning on doing a lot, another two hours had passed before he was stepping into the shower.

After he’d showered and dressed he packed his bag and went downstairs to the kitchen and grabbed a cold beer from the fridge.

It was while he was sat at the kitchen table drinking his second beer that Louise walked in.

“Hello Dave” she said

“Hi …” he began “Do I call you Louise or Scarlet?”

“Louise is fine” she replied as she poured herself a glass of wine.

They sat at the table for over an hour chatting about anything and everything and were both on drink number three when he said

“I’m flattered you remember me by the way”

“Oh I remember you very well” she said and he was rather pleased that he had made such an impression on her and then as she sat opposite him she continued

“You used to go through my hand bag when I stayed over at your house, looking at my knickers?”

“No I didn’t” he responded indignantly

“Oh yes you did” she contradicted

“So come on let’s hear you admit it”

“Oh ok” he said resignedly after five minutes of badgering “I did do it, but it was only one time”

“I know you did” she said very definitely

“But how did you know?” he asked

“Because I saw you do it” she said with a smile

“Oh”

“Yes I looked down over the bannisters and your hands were in my bag, but I didn’t see exactly what you were doing” she said “I thought perhaps you were looking for my fags”

“I see”

“But when I went to put my pants on the next morning I soon realised what you were really up to” she explained

“How come?”

“Well I always pack my knickers inside out, it’s one of my quirks, but when I went to put them on they were the right way round”

“Oh”

“So are you sure it was only once?” she asked “And before you answer remember that I know exactly how many times”

“Yes, just the once” he replied adamantly “but I was tempted”

“Ok I believe you” she said “I did only noticed the onetime”

“So why didn’t you say something?” he asked

“Because I was rather flattered” she said “and I thought it was quite sweet, endearing really, in a way”

“Really?” he asked doubtfully

“Yes” she replied “You were just a boy after all”

Dave sat silently fearing the next question

“So I have to ask, because I’ve always wondered” here it comes he thought

“Why?” she asked

“Do I have to answer that?” he asked

“Yes” she insisted

“Really?”

“Oh yes”

“Oh God this is embarrassing” he said

“Come on out with it” she urged

“Because I had a crush on you, big time, and they were just there” he said “and I couldn’t resist”

“You little perve” she said in mock horror “Did you do the same with his other girlfriends?”

“No I didn’t” he said with real horror “I’m not a pervert”

“Well you are a bit” she pointed out refilling her glass

“Well I’m not that kind of pervert then” he said

“Are you sure?”

“Yes I’m sure, I had no interest in his other girls” he said very definitely “I only had eyes for you”

“I thought you did” she admitted “I liked you too, but I was older and more sophisticated so it was never a possibility”

“Oh I didn’t realise you were sophisticated, I just thought you were hot” he said “Certainly too hot for me”

“Maybe then” she said and then Louise stood up and walked around the table and when she reached him she leaned down and kissed him

“Wow I’ve been wanting to do that since I was sixteen”

“Did that meet with your approval then?” She asked

“Oh yes” he said

“Come to think of it I’ve been waiting to do that since you were sixteen too” she mused

“You perve” he said and laughed “I was just a child”

“Really?” Louise said as she perched on his knee “Are you seriously going to call me a cradle snatching paedo or shall we just kiss again”

“Oh another kiss I think”

“Good choice” she said and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

For all those months when she was dating Andy he had dreamt of kissing her, but the reality far exceeded the dreaming.

 

As Louise sat on Dave’s lap in the kitchen of her parents’ house the kissing became increasingly passionate and soon moved on to another level and both of them tried to get in each other’s clothing with a more than modest amount of success.

But just when things were really hotting up he slipped out from beneath her, and then she plopped down hard on the chair.

“No don’t stop” she said

“I’m sorry but I have work tomorrow” he said and slipped on his jacket

“No don’t go” she pleaded and stood up and rubbed her buttock and then her jeans fell down to her knees and she tried to close the distance between them but her low slung jeans caused her to waddle which meant he could easily keep out of her reach and he sidestepped through the kitchen door and out into the hall and thus avoiding the sexy waddling Louise

“I’m sure I’ll see you again soon” he said over his shoulder

“Wait” she called after him

“Bye” he responded

Louise kicked off her jeans in frustration and they flew across the kitchen and landed half in the sink, and then she sprinted after him.

“Please don’t go” she said and tried to kiss him but he drew his head away out of the reach of her lips

“How do I know it’s not the wine talking?” he asked

“It’s not” she exclaimed “I promise”

“But you would say that wouldn’t you?” Dave said

“But it’s true” Louise insisted

“So you want to kiss me now then?” he said

“Very much” she said and Louise’s face cracked into a smile and then she blushed as she took a step forwards and their lips met again.

 

He kissed her forehead and left Louise sleeping beneath her Duvet and then walked home with a spring in his step and it suddenly occurred to him that he finally had something in common with his half-brother Andy other than their mother.

 

When the Jordan’s returned home from the hospital, with the wounded soldier with his arm in a cast, later that night to find the house in darkness they were none the wiser as to what had occurred in Nicole’s kitchen or Louise’s bedroom.

Her mum did query why her daughter’s jeans were half in and half out the kitchen sink but that was all.

They remained unaware of the couple’s ongoing sexual exploits for a further three months.

The two of them didn’t want to announce they were together until they knew for certain sure there was more to their relationship that the very satisfying sex, plus Dave was concerned that it might have affected his friendship with Mark when he found out he’d been sleeping with his perfect sister Scarlet.

When they were ready to tell, the news was greeted with all round approval and Mark said he was hoping they would get together.

 

Dave never told Louise he had seen her walk across the landing in her underwear when she was on the way to the toilet and despite the fact they married two years later, which pleased his best mate and best man Mark no end, and thoroughly pissed off his half-brother Andy, those very first sexy images of Louise in her pink scanties stayed in his memory for ever.