I had forgotten her
I had forgotten
The way she looked
With her bright elfin face
And brown soulful eyes
I had forgotten
The sound of her voice
With its sweet honeyed tones
And her infectious laughter
It had been hard
But I had forgotten her
I had forgotten
The smell of her hair
The taste of her lips
The touch of her skin
I had forgotten her
She was off my radar
My senses were free of her
Free of her intoxication
Free of her narcotic
It had taken months
Going cold turkey
To cleanse myself
To detox
To shake her from my consciousness
And exorcise her from my soul
I changed jobs
Decorated the house
Rid myself of everything that reminded me of her
And I was free
My life was once more on an even keel
The stormy seas had been quelled
All was calm and safe
Such comfort there is in safe
The wounds had healed
Though the scars remained
I had peace of mind
Since I had forgotten her
Well I had forgotten her
Until that fateful day
When I found it
Down the side of the sofa
A small pearl button
Such an innocuous item
Evoked such potent memories
Of a violet lamb’s wool sweater
That accentuated her breasts so well
The button was a casualty of an encounter
Discarded in our passionate haste
And in that instance of recognition
She was all at once back with me
My senses reawakened
Her scent was in my nostrils
I could feel her lips on mine
Her caress on my cheek
I could hear her infectious chuckle
And I saw her sitting beside me
Close enough to touch
And as the wounds reopened
I realised I had not forgotten her
I had just shut down
Disabled my interface with the world
Hid in my castle and pulled up the draw bridge
And created my own world within
I held the button in my fingers
As my castle walls fell
And the world flooded in
That little pearl button
Spoke to me in volumes
And I knew I loved her still
Sunday, 12 February 2017
Those Memories Made on Teardrop Lake – (39) New Blood
(Part 01)
Shallowfield’s fortunes had always relied largely upon forestry and agriculture for its survival.
In the post war years with rationing and a shortage of work a lot of people moved away from the area and it only just survived.
And the community around Teardrop Lake fared even worse.
Only a few of the houses around the Lake were thriving, a lot of the houses had been rented out and those that hadn’t were in a poor state of repair, some too such an extent they were little more than ruins.
But by the 70s however things were beginning to change, thanks mainly to tourism as a result of an increase in leisure time.
This trend was reflected by the fact that the previously derelict Shallowfield Lodge, which had been inherited by a young couple from Lincolnshire, Rob and Sheryl Brown, was being turned into a Hotel.
It was 1972 when newlyweds Rob and Sheryl Brown inherited Shallowfield Lodge.
It was in a terribly dilapidated state, there was barely a window that wasn’t smashed, the roof was unsound and there was almost as much flora inside the building as there was outside of it.
But with their joint savings and a sizable bank loan underwritten by their parents they managed to renovate the building and on May 8th 1974 the Shallowfield Lodge Hotel opened for business.
They immediately became part of the community and their kind affability won them a lot of friends.
It would not be an exaggeration to say that the Brown’s single handedly put Teardrop back on the map.
Many a visitor to the Lodge, because of the friendly treatments by Rob and Sheryl, returned time and time again.
The September of 1974 was the first of the annual wedding Anniversary Party’s to which everyone on the lake was invited and that no one wanted to miss.
The only thing missing from their lives were children but they were not blessed in that way but in every other way than that they were blissfully happy.
Then on the morning of the 8th of January, after 43 years on the Lake and 41 as the friendly face of the Lodge Sheryl Brown suffered a massive heart attack and died in her room at the place where she had been so happy.
Even her final act was done in such a way as not to upset the guests.
Friends immediately rallied around Rob, Penny Pellegrino and India Spreadborough who had both worked for the Brown’s since before they were married stepped in to run things as Rob was unable to function such was his totally devastation at losing his wife, friend and soul mate.
The funeral was arranged for January 10th and friends and family came from far and wide.
The vast number of well-wishers bore testament to her popularity and the level of love people had for her.
Among the family in attendance were Ben and Dorcas Overton who were distant cousins.
Though not strangers, they were distant only in the genealogy sense, Sheryl Brown nee Cush was Ben’s Mum, Eleanor’s, first Cousin.
But though distant in genealogy terms they were very close in actuality.
Ben and his siblings had spent many summer holidays with the Brown’s.
Surrogate children in a sense but both parties loved it.
And there were many other Cush’s and Overton’s among the mourners.
But only Ben and Dorcas stayed on beyond the funeral.
Ben was 33 and Dorcas was 3 years younger, they had been married for four years.
They fell in love at first sight, well almost at first sight.
Because the first time they laid eyes on each it was through a car windscreen of the car Dorcas was driving that had almost run him down.
Ben was on his way to Church where he was to be a Godparent to his sister Helens child, he was daydreaming as he did so and as he quickly crossed Church Lane he was brought rudely to his senses by the blast of a car horn.
He jumped out of the way and reached the safety of the footpath and was braced to launch a tirade od abuse in the direction of the impatient shit on the other end of the car horn, but when he turned to look at his assailant he was greeted by a beautiful smiling brunette, who mouthed the word “sorry” which completely disarmed him.
(Part 02)
It was at the end of the main service when the Reverend Hunter began the Baptism of Ben’s nephew Connor Innes into the faith that he saw again.
It turned out that “Penelope Pitstop” the beautiful, if dangerous brunette, was a close friend of his sister Helen and was also to be a Godparent to Connor.
So it was actually love at second sight when his eyes were constantly drawn to the beautiful girl on the other side of the font and she couldn’t take her eyes off of him.
So that was how it began, dreamily gazing across the font, which lead to a first date, then another and another.
Which led inexorably on to a marriage proposal.
So everything in their garden was rosy, until the wedding plans threatened to suffocate them.
In order to escape the intensifying family pressure they decided they had to getaway, somewhere out of reach, to preserve their sanity.
But their December getaway turned into an elopement and a winter wedding in Berlin.
And for the vast majority of their short marriage they had been very happy indeed, however dark clouds were looming large.
They had both been very lucky in their working life and the two of them had always enjoyed their jobs and never looked on them as burdensome but forces beyond their control were conspiring against them.
Both of their companies were suffering the effects of Takeovers, restructuring and rationalization.
And that added to the effects of the recession the combination had managed to suck all the joy out of their working lives.
And along with it some of the joy from their marriage as a result.
They were most definitely not as happy as they had once been.
With the benefit of some strategic placed annual leave days they managed to take a long 13 day break at Christmas and New Year and then locked themselves away so there was only them and it seemed to work and they had made a special reconnection.
But as soon as the holidays were over and they returned to work the dark clouds returned and a gulf opened up between them again.
In a perverse way Sheryl’s funeral had been a welcome distraction for them, it got them away from the poisonous atmosphere of work once more.
Ben was terrified that he and Dorcas were drifting apart and that he seemed powerless to prevent it.
He thought that staying on at the Lodge for a few days might give him time to think of a way out.
Not a way out of the marriage but a way out of their malaise.
One afternoon Ben was in the Hotel lounge talking with Rob when the idea first dawned on him.
“If I’d gone first” Rob said “Sheryl would have coped much better on her own than I will”
“You’ll be fine” Auntie Vi said
“Sheryl was the heart and soul of this place” he retorted
Just then Dorcas appeared, she had slept in late due to a late session the night before, and she was in an ill humour.
“You’re just in time for “The Sound of Music”” Auntie Vi said
“Oh pray control my beating heart” she said
“What’s the matter Hun?” Ben asked
“I wonder” she retorted and left the room
“Oh dear” Rob said and raised his eyebrows
“Well get after her then”
“I’m here for you Rob” Ben said
“I’ve got Vi and Julie Andrews” he said “Now get going”
Reluctantly he left Rob and Vi and went in search of his unhappy wife.
On his way to reception he passed Penny
“Have you seen Dorcas?”
“Yes, she went out” Pen said
“Outside out” he asked
“I’m afraid so”
He went upstairs and changed into something suitable for going outside in the January murk and then went in search of his wife.
(Part 03)
He found her sitting on a rocky outcrop up at the top of East Cliff overlooking the lake
“There you are” he said
“What are you doing here?” she snapped
“Well I didn't just come out for a walk to avoid watching “The Sound of Music” with Auntie Vi” Ben teased
“So why did you come?”
“I was actually looking for you. I asked at the Lodge and Penny said you had gone for a walk”
“How did you know I’d be up here?”
“Just a guess” he said “Because this is where I would have come, this is my favorite spot he said gesturing with his hand”
On the day of the funeral her brother Sebastian had stashed a whisky flask in her coat pocket, which she had since forgotten about but when she thrust her hand in to retrieve a tissue she found the flask and had a sip before replacing it, actually it was more of a slug.
“So why are you here?” Ben asked “Is it me?”
“No, no it’s not you, and it’s not me” she replied making no sense
“Thing are just different”
“Is it Teardrop Lake then?”
“No I love it here” she said “I’m jealous that it knows you better than me, but I love it”
Dorcas took the hip flask back out of her pocket and took another slug before handing it to Ben.
“Here” she said “Have a swig it’ll warm you up”
He took the flask from her and took a long swallow.
Dorcas took it back and did the same.
“Oooh I’m feeling quite light headed” she said
“That’s drinking whisky on and empty stomach” he said sagely and she giggled.
“What's so funny?” He asked her
“Nothing” she said still giggling but he didn't believe her so he pressed her for an answer.
“It's just” She started “Drinking whisky on an empty stomach makes you sound really pompous”
And then she ran away laughing loudly.
“Right” he said and chased after her
He caught her in no time and she giggled when he grabbed her.
A combination of the exertion, cold and the whisky had put a blush on her cheeks.
And as he looked at her he was overcome with love for her again, just as he had been when he first met her.
She must have felt the same way because she said
“I really love you Ben” and she kissed him and he tasted her whisky tongue
“I love you too” he said as she pulled herself away from him and looked deep into his eyes.
“What are we going to do” she asked
“I can feel us drifting apart”
“I won’t let that happen” he told her
“Promise me” she said and tilted her head to one side
“I promise you with all my heart” he said.
“Thank you” she said and hugged him so tightly
As they walked back towards the hotel with an arm around each other he asked
“Do you really like it here?”
“Oh yes very much” she said
“And what about your job?”
“What about it?”
“Would you miss it?”
“Not for a second, some of the people yes, but not the job” she replied
“Why?”
“I’ve had an idea” he said
“The last time you had an idea we ended up eloping to Germany”
She said and they both laughed
“It was a corker of an idea though” he said
“Yes it was” she agreed
As they reached the bottom of the hill they met a couple coming the other way.
“Ben? Dorcas? Is that you?” the woman said
“Hello Dr Andrews?” Ben said
“Its Dr Lutchford now” she said proudly looking at the man on her arm
“Congratulations” Dorcas said
“Are you staying at the Lodge?” Peter Lutchford asked and Ben nodded
“How is Rob?” Claire asked
“He’s still very low” Dorcas confirmed
“How long are you staying on?” Claire asked
“That’s a good question” Ben replied
Ben needed to have a serious conversation with Rob Brown but didn’t know quite how or when to broach the subject.
But that night the decision was taken out of his hands when they were sitting in the Hotel bar and Rob announced
“I’m giving up the Lodge”
“What do you mean?” Ben said
“I’m going to go and live with Vi in Sharpington”
“What’s going to happen to this place?” Ben asked
“Well that rather depends on you two” he replied
“What do you mean?” Dorcas asked
“This place needs someone with fresh energy” he said
“I still don’t understand” she said
“A young couple who can put their heart, souls and love into the place” he explained but Dorcas still wore a puzzled expression
“I still don….” She began and then suddenly the penny dropped
“You mean us?”
“Yes” he replied
“This is what you were talking about this afternoon” she said to Ben
“Yes but I didn’t say anything” he replied
“I can only hand it on to someone in the family and you two are the obvious choices” Rob said
“So what’s the answer?”
“Yes, absolutely yes” Dorcas said
They returned home to Bushy Down the next day and back to work the day after and handed in their notice and then put the cottage on the market.
They took up residence at the Lodge midway through February and the sale of the cottage went through 2 Months later.
Rob stayed on until May to show them the ropes and then he signed over the lease and then their long tenure began.
They never looked back and their love for each other never wavered again.
Ben was in his element as an Hotelier and the beautiful diminutive Dorcas with the immense personality and a heart as big as the moon was the perfect replacement for Sheryl.
By the time Rob Brown had left his replacements at the Lodge, Dorcas was already growing hers and Bens.
Shallowfield’s fortunes had always relied largely upon forestry and agriculture for its survival.
In the post war years with rationing and a shortage of work a lot of people moved away from the area and it only just survived.
And the community around Teardrop Lake fared even worse.
Only a few of the houses around the Lake were thriving, a lot of the houses had been rented out and those that hadn’t were in a poor state of repair, some too such an extent they were little more than ruins.
But by the 70s however things were beginning to change, thanks mainly to tourism as a result of an increase in leisure time.
This trend was reflected by the fact that the previously derelict Shallowfield Lodge, which had been inherited by a young couple from Lincolnshire, Rob and Sheryl Brown, was being turned into a Hotel.
It was 1972 when newlyweds Rob and Sheryl Brown inherited Shallowfield Lodge.
It was in a terribly dilapidated state, there was barely a window that wasn’t smashed, the roof was unsound and there was almost as much flora inside the building as there was outside of it.
But with their joint savings and a sizable bank loan underwritten by their parents they managed to renovate the building and on May 8th 1974 the Shallowfield Lodge Hotel opened for business.
They immediately became part of the community and their kind affability won them a lot of friends.
It would not be an exaggeration to say that the Brown’s single handedly put Teardrop back on the map.
Many a visitor to the Lodge, because of the friendly treatments by Rob and Sheryl, returned time and time again.
The September of 1974 was the first of the annual wedding Anniversary Party’s to which everyone on the lake was invited and that no one wanted to miss.
The only thing missing from their lives were children but they were not blessed in that way but in every other way than that they were blissfully happy.
Then on the morning of the 8th of January, after 43 years on the Lake and 41 as the friendly face of the Lodge Sheryl Brown suffered a massive heart attack and died in her room at the place where she had been so happy.
Even her final act was done in such a way as not to upset the guests.
Friends immediately rallied around Rob, Penny Pellegrino and India Spreadborough who had both worked for the Brown’s since before they were married stepped in to run things as Rob was unable to function such was his totally devastation at losing his wife, friend and soul mate.
The funeral was arranged for January 10th and friends and family came from far and wide.
The vast number of well-wishers bore testament to her popularity and the level of love people had for her.
Among the family in attendance were Ben and Dorcas Overton who were distant cousins.
Though not strangers, they were distant only in the genealogy sense, Sheryl Brown nee Cush was Ben’s Mum, Eleanor’s, first Cousin.
But though distant in genealogy terms they were very close in actuality.
Ben and his siblings had spent many summer holidays with the Brown’s.
Surrogate children in a sense but both parties loved it.
And there were many other Cush’s and Overton’s among the mourners.
But only Ben and Dorcas stayed on beyond the funeral.
Ben was 33 and Dorcas was 3 years younger, they had been married for four years.
They fell in love at first sight, well almost at first sight.
Because the first time they laid eyes on each it was through a car windscreen of the car Dorcas was driving that had almost run him down.
Ben was on his way to Church where he was to be a Godparent to his sister Helens child, he was daydreaming as he did so and as he quickly crossed Church Lane he was brought rudely to his senses by the blast of a car horn.
He jumped out of the way and reached the safety of the footpath and was braced to launch a tirade od abuse in the direction of the impatient shit on the other end of the car horn, but when he turned to look at his assailant he was greeted by a beautiful smiling brunette, who mouthed the word “sorry” which completely disarmed him.
(Part 02)
It was at the end of the main service when the Reverend Hunter began the Baptism of Ben’s nephew Connor Innes into the faith that he saw again.
It turned out that “Penelope Pitstop” the beautiful, if dangerous brunette, was a close friend of his sister Helen and was also to be a Godparent to Connor.
So it was actually love at second sight when his eyes were constantly drawn to the beautiful girl on the other side of the font and she couldn’t take her eyes off of him.
So that was how it began, dreamily gazing across the font, which lead to a first date, then another and another.
Which led inexorably on to a marriage proposal.
So everything in their garden was rosy, until the wedding plans threatened to suffocate them.
In order to escape the intensifying family pressure they decided they had to getaway, somewhere out of reach, to preserve their sanity.
But their December getaway turned into an elopement and a winter wedding in Berlin.
And for the vast majority of their short marriage they had been very happy indeed, however dark clouds were looming large.
They had both been very lucky in their working life and the two of them had always enjoyed their jobs and never looked on them as burdensome but forces beyond their control were conspiring against them.
Both of their companies were suffering the effects of Takeovers, restructuring and rationalization.
And that added to the effects of the recession the combination had managed to suck all the joy out of their working lives.
And along with it some of the joy from their marriage as a result.
They were most definitely not as happy as they had once been.
With the benefit of some strategic placed annual leave days they managed to take a long 13 day break at Christmas and New Year and then locked themselves away so there was only them and it seemed to work and they had made a special reconnection.
But as soon as the holidays were over and they returned to work the dark clouds returned and a gulf opened up between them again.
In a perverse way Sheryl’s funeral had been a welcome distraction for them, it got them away from the poisonous atmosphere of work once more.
Ben was terrified that he and Dorcas were drifting apart and that he seemed powerless to prevent it.
He thought that staying on at the Lodge for a few days might give him time to think of a way out.
Not a way out of the marriage but a way out of their malaise.
One afternoon Ben was in the Hotel lounge talking with Rob when the idea first dawned on him.
“If I’d gone first” Rob said “Sheryl would have coped much better on her own than I will”
“You’ll be fine” Auntie Vi said
“Sheryl was the heart and soul of this place” he retorted
Just then Dorcas appeared, she had slept in late due to a late session the night before, and she was in an ill humour.
“You’re just in time for “The Sound of Music”” Auntie Vi said
“Oh pray control my beating heart” she said
“What’s the matter Hun?” Ben asked
“I wonder” she retorted and left the room
“Oh dear” Rob said and raised his eyebrows
“Well get after her then”
“I’m here for you Rob” Ben said
“I’ve got Vi and Julie Andrews” he said “Now get going”
Reluctantly he left Rob and Vi and went in search of his unhappy wife.
On his way to reception he passed Penny
“Have you seen Dorcas?”
“Yes, she went out” Pen said
“Outside out” he asked
“I’m afraid so”
He went upstairs and changed into something suitable for going outside in the January murk and then went in search of his wife.
(Part 03)
He found her sitting on a rocky outcrop up at the top of East Cliff overlooking the lake
“There you are” he said
“What are you doing here?” she snapped
“Well I didn't just come out for a walk to avoid watching “The Sound of Music” with Auntie Vi” Ben teased
“So why did you come?”
“I was actually looking for you. I asked at the Lodge and Penny said you had gone for a walk”
“How did you know I’d be up here?”
“Just a guess” he said “Because this is where I would have come, this is my favorite spot he said gesturing with his hand”
On the day of the funeral her brother Sebastian had stashed a whisky flask in her coat pocket, which she had since forgotten about but when she thrust her hand in to retrieve a tissue she found the flask and had a sip before replacing it, actually it was more of a slug.
“So why are you here?” Ben asked “Is it me?”
“No, no it’s not you, and it’s not me” she replied making no sense
“Thing are just different”
“Is it Teardrop Lake then?”
“No I love it here” she said “I’m jealous that it knows you better than me, but I love it”
Dorcas took the hip flask back out of her pocket and took another slug before handing it to Ben.
“Here” she said “Have a swig it’ll warm you up”
He took the flask from her and took a long swallow.
Dorcas took it back and did the same.
“Oooh I’m feeling quite light headed” she said
“That’s drinking whisky on and empty stomach” he said sagely and she giggled.
“What's so funny?” He asked her
“Nothing” she said still giggling but he didn't believe her so he pressed her for an answer.
“It's just” She started “Drinking whisky on an empty stomach makes you sound really pompous”
And then she ran away laughing loudly.
“Right” he said and chased after her
He caught her in no time and she giggled when he grabbed her.
A combination of the exertion, cold and the whisky had put a blush on her cheeks.
And as he looked at her he was overcome with love for her again, just as he had been when he first met her.
She must have felt the same way because she said
“I really love you Ben” and she kissed him and he tasted her whisky tongue
“I love you too” he said as she pulled herself away from him and looked deep into his eyes.
“What are we going to do” she asked
“I can feel us drifting apart”
“I won’t let that happen” he told her
“Promise me” she said and tilted her head to one side
“I promise you with all my heart” he said.
“Thank you” she said and hugged him so tightly
As they walked back towards the hotel with an arm around each other he asked
“Do you really like it here?”
“Oh yes very much” she said
“And what about your job?”
“What about it?”
“Would you miss it?”
“Not for a second, some of the people yes, but not the job” she replied
“Why?”
“I’ve had an idea” he said
“The last time you had an idea we ended up eloping to Germany”
She said and they both laughed
“It was a corker of an idea though” he said
“Yes it was” she agreed
As they reached the bottom of the hill they met a couple coming the other way.
“Ben? Dorcas? Is that you?” the woman said
“Hello Dr Andrews?” Ben said
“Its Dr Lutchford now” she said proudly looking at the man on her arm
“Congratulations” Dorcas said
“Are you staying at the Lodge?” Peter Lutchford asked and Ben nodded
“How is Rob?” Claire asked
“He’s still very low” Dorcas confirmed
“How long are you staying on?” Claire asked
“That’s a good question” Ben replied
Ben needed to have a serious conversation with Rob Brown but didn’t know quite how or when to broach the subject.
But that night the decision was taken out of his hands when they were sitting in the Hotel bar and Rob announced
“I’m giving up the Lodge”
“What do you mean?” Ben said
“I’m going to go and live with Vi in Sharpington”
“What’s going to happen to this place?” Ben asked
“Well that rather depends on you two” he replied
“What do you mean?” Dorcas asked
“This place needs someone with fresh energy” he said
“I still don’t understand” she said
“A young couple who can put their heart, souls and love into the place” he explained but Dorcas still wore a puzzled expression
“I still don….” She began and then suddenly the penny dropped
“You mean us?”
“Yes” he replied
“This is what you were talking about this afternoon” she said to Ben
“Yes but I didn’t say anything” he replied
“I can only hand it on to someone in the family and you two are the obvious choices” Rob said
“So what’s the answer?”
“Yes, absolutely yes” Dorcas said
They returned home to Bushy Down the next day and back to work the day after and handed in their notice and then put the cottage on the market.
They took up residence at the Lodge midway through February and the sale of the cottage went through 2 Months later.
Rob stayed on until May to show them the ropes and then he signed over the lease and then their long tenure began.
They never looked back and their love for each other never wavered again.
Ben was in his element as an Hotelier and the beautiful diminutive Dorcas with the immense personality and a heart as big as the moon was the perfect replacement for Sheryl.
By the time Rob Brown had left his replacements at the Lodge, Dorcas was already growing hers and Bens.
Saturday, 11 February 2017
A Love Collection
IN THE CLOUDLESS NIGHT SKY
In the cloudless night sky
Each star clear
In the heavens
Sparkling like sequins
On a ball gown
Are you there?
In heavens firmament
Are you the bright star?
The one more beautiful
Than its neighbour
A thing of beauty
As you once were
At my side
METICULOUSLY REHEARSED
I was prepared
I had it all planned out
Every word
Every gesture
Meticulously rehearsed
Till word perfect
I was prepared
For excitement
Unconfined joy
Tears of happiness
Words of love
And utter delight
I wasn’t prepared
For your reaction
Your unkind words
Your gestures
Tears of laughter
And utter rejection
WHEN DID IT HAPPEN?
When did it happen?
How did I not notice?
What distracted me?
Or have I been blind
Where did she go?
The awkward girl of yesterday
Where is that ungainly creature?
When did you become a woman?
Have I been blind all this time?
When did you bloom into woman hood?
When I looked away
You were an ugly duckling
When I looked back
A bird of paradise
When did you become so beautiful?
The Love Selection # 3
TO BE A SPECIAL LOVE
To be a special love
It should fit like a glove
But what I cannot tell
Is does the glove fit her as well?
It too must be a perfect fit
That is it, and all about it
To be a very special love
It should fit her like a glove
One ill fitted hand
And the love will never stand
Both should set foursquare
To be a perfect pair
A LONG AGO WORLD
A long ago world
In Days of innocence
And a wondrous summer
We stood on the cusp
Of loves first awakening
When Feeling awkward and gawky
We took our first faltering steps
In the realm of love
Wearing swim shorts
And self-conscious blushes
It was a guiltless time
When holding hands
Was a physical pleasure
And stolen kisses
Seemed to last forever
If I had the presence of mind
I would have bottled that summer
And when I felt
Tarnished by the world
I would take a long sip
And be refreshed
BENEATH THE SUN ON THE ISLE OF WIGHT # 2
Beneath the sun on the Isle of Wight
I first laid eyes on the lovely Gill
And on that sweet summers day
I lost my heart forever at Robin Hill
THE NEWS CAME
The news came,
As bad news does
Out of the blue
At break neck speed
And hit me like a train
With deaths hateful sting
Numbing me to the core
Leaving me speechless
And too arid to cry
Before the pain burst through
Bringing forth the bitter tears loves
Despair washed over me
Until I was drowning in sadness
I sank in its frigid waters
To the depths of my soul
So bitter was the news
The loss so acute
I was broken in two
Lying beaten
On the ground
I could feel no worse
I could sink no lower
Then like kicking an injured dog
Remorse hit me
Like a tidal wave
Knocking me off my feet
Why didn’t I tell him?
Why didn’t I say?
I love you too
IT HAPPENS AGAIN AND AGAIN # 1
It happens again and again
A simple smile and I dare to dream
That this might be the one
But alas no it’s a familiar theme
AMBER EYES
She had amber eyes
Which marked her out
Such a rare and beautiful hue
You might say it made her special
And special she was
This girl with amber eyes
But not for the rarity of the hue
But for an even rarer quality
This girl with amber eyes
Was so special because
She was beautiful inside and out
I WOULD CROSS AN ARID DESERT PLAIN
I would cross an arid desert plain
Sail upon a sea of hurt and pain
Traverse landscapes bleak and bare
Climb great mountains of despair
Navigate thru skies black with thunder
And lightning bolts to strike asunder
This and so much more I will gladly do
Just to spend some time with you
In the cloudless night sky
Each star clear
In the heavens
Sparkling like sequins
On a ball gown
Are you there?
In heavens firmament
Are you the bright star?
The one more beautiful
Than its neighbour
A thing of beauty
As you once were
At my side
METICULOUSLY REHEARSED
I was prepared
I had it all planned out
Every word
Every gesture
Meticulously rehearsed
Till word perfect
I was prepared
For excitement
Unconfined joy
Tears of happiness
Words of love
And utter delight
I wasn’t prepared
For your reaction
Your unkind words
Your gestures
Tears of laughter
And utter rejection
WHEN DID IT HAPPEN?
When did it happen?
How did I not notice?
What distracted me?
Or have I been blind
Where did she go?
The awkward girl of yesterday
Where is that ungainly creature?
When did you become a woman?
Have I been blind all this time?
When did you bloom into woman hood?
When I looked away
You were an ugly duckling
When I looked back
A bird of paradise
When did you become so beautiful?
The Love Selection # 3
TO BE A SPECIAL LOVE
To be a special love
It should fit like a glove
But what I cannot tell
Is does the glove fit her as well?
It too must be a perfect fit
That is it, and all about it
To be a very special love
It should fit her like a glove
One ill fitted hand
And the love will never stand
Both should set foursquare
To be a perfect pair
A LONG AGO WORLD
A long ago world
In Days of innocence
And a wondrous summer
We stood on the cusp
Of loves first awakening
When Feeling awkward and gawky
We took our first faltering steps
In the realm of love
Wearing swim shorts
And self-conscious blushes
It was a guiltless time
When holding hands
Was a physical pleasure
And stolen kisses
Seemed to last forever
If I had the presence of mind
I would have bottled that summer
And when I felt
Tarnished by the world
I would take a long sip
And be refreshed
BENEATH THE SUN ON THE ISLE OF WIGHT # 2
Beneath the sun on the Isle of Wight
I first laid eyes on the lovely Gill
And on that sweet summers day
I lost my heart forever at Robin Hill
THE NEWS CAME
The news came,
As bad news does
Out of the blue
At break neck speed
And hit me like a train
With deaths hateful sting
Numbing me to the core
Leaving me speechless
And too arid to cry
Before the pain burst through
Bringing forth the bitter tears loves
Despair washed over me
Until I was drowning in sadness
I sank in its frigid waters
To the depths of my soul
So bitter was the news
The loss so acute
I was broken in two
Lying beaten
On the ground
I could feel no worse
I could sink no lower
Then like kicking an injured dog
Remorse hit me
Like a tidal wave
Knocking me off my feet
Why didn’t I tell him?
Why didn’t I say?
I love you too
IT HAPPENS AGAIN AND AGAIN # 1
It happens again and again
A simple smile and I dare to dream
That this might be the one
But alas no it’s a familiar theme
AMBER EYES
She had amber eyes
Which marked her out
Such a rare and beautiful hue
You might say it made her special
And special she was
This girl with amber eyes
But not for the rarity of the hue
But for an even rarer quality
This girl with amber eyes
Was so special because
She was beautiful inside and out
I WOULD CROSS AN ARID DESERT PLAIN
I would cross an arid desert plain
Sail upon a sea of hurt and pain
Traverse landscapes bleak and bare
Climb great mountains of despair
Navigate thru skies black with thunder
And lightning bolts to strike asunder
This and so much more I will gladly do
Just to spend some time with you
The Rustic Stile at Lanes End
At lanes end
The rustic stile
Stands sentinel still
Marking that special place
Where the fates conspired
Our souls should meet
Though we purposely
Trod opposing paths
We met at that rustic spot
And to help you cross
I took your hand
Small and silken soft
Guiding you safe to my side
And despite the presence
Of each others companions
We were to all intents
Quite alone
And in those moments
When hand touched hand
We at once beheld
Our lives from that point on
Would be forever altered
And were content
With that destiny
At lanes end
The rustic stile
Stands like a monument
Marking the place of alteration
A significant place
A spiritual place oft revisited
And on such sojourns
We would find renewal
As the energizing memory
Of that special moment
Assailed our senses
Essentially invigorating
Like imbibing the waters
From the fountain of youth
And our hearts would once again
Resound with joyousness
And sweet moments of romance
Those excited tingles
Of loves first passion
When hearts beat faster
And desire courses
Through every fibre
The thrill of blossoming love
Adding to the strata
Of our love laid down
Through all our years
By returning to the place
Of loves wondrous inception
We keep our love alive
And in equal measure
Love returns the favour
The rustic stile
Stands sentinel still
Marking that special place
Where the fates conspired
Our souls should meet
Though we purposely
Trod opposing paths
We met at that rustic spot
And to help you cross
I took your hand
Small and silken soft
Guiding you safe to my side
And despite the presence
Of each others companions
We were to all intents
Quite alone
And in those moments
When hand touched hand
We at once beheld
Our lives from that point on
Would be forever altered
And were content
With that destiny
At lanes end
The rustic stile
Stands like a monument
Marking the place of alteration
A significant place
A spiritual place oft revisited
And on such sojourns
We would find renewal
As the energizing memory
Of that special moment
Assailed our senses
Essentially invigorating
Like imbibing the waters
From the fountain of youth
And our hearts would once again
Resound with joyousness
And sweet moments of romance
Those excited tingles
Of loves first passion
When hearts beat faster
And desire courses
Through every fibre
The thrill of blossoming love
Adding to the strata
Of our love laid down
Through all our years
By returning to the place
Of loves wondrous inception
We keep our love alive
And in equal measure
Love returns the favour
Those Memories Made on Teardrop Lake – (38) It’s a Small World For a Locum
(Part 01)
It was late afternoon on Christmas Eve at the Dancingdean Health Centre and Locum Doctor Kelly Spearman had one last patient to see.
Mrs Bramwell entered the room with her young daughter Kylie skulking in her wake.
“Come on Kylie the Doctor hasn’t got all day”
“Hello Mrs Bramwell, how can I help?”
“Kylie’s not right Doctor, very odd”
“In what way?”
“Well look at her Doctor you can see you doesn’t look right.
She starts the day feeling sick and ends it eating Pizza with sugar on. It’s no small wonder she’s put on so much weight”
“Well I’ll have to do a full examination” Kelly said
Kylie lay on the examination table and Dr Spearman gave her a thorough exam, asking questions as she did so.
When she had finished she told Kylie to redress and sat down at her desk and tapped at the keyboard until the girl was seated.
“So what’s wrong with her Doctor?” Mrs Bramley
“Well there is no doubt in my mind that Kylie is pregnant” she replied
“About five months to be precise”
“That’s absolute rubbish Doctor, Kylie can’t possibly be pregnant, ridiculous that is, she’s only 14 and I can assure you my daughter has never been with a man”
“There is no doubt” Kelly said as she took off her glasses
“Tell the Doctor, Kylie, tell her you’ve never been with a man”
“I haven’t Doctor I really haven’t, not even kissing” Kylie confirmed
Kelly looked at the girl doubtfully then stood up and walked to the window and stared out into the darkness shaking her head.
“So what’s wrong Doctor?” Mrs Bramley asked “it’s serious isn’t it?”
“Not at all, I just wanted to check the sky for something, because the last time a girl got pregnant without going with a man a bright star appeared in the East”
“Are you trying to be funny?” Mrs Bramwell asked
“No I’m not, I’m trying to make a point” she replied
“Whether Kylie says she has been with a man or not, she is definitely five months pregnant, so I suggest you think back five months and figure out where she didn’t have sex with a man”
“I don’t like your attitude Doctor if my daughter says she’s a virg…” she stopped in mid flow and turned to Kylie and said
“You dirty little cow, it was that boy you met on the beach at Sharpington wasn’t it”
At that the girl began to cry and Mrs Bramley bustled her out of the room admonishing her without acknowledging Kelly again.
Kelly was one of the cleverest medical students of her year and she was also one of the sexiest, a fact she had perpetually tried to play down.
She wanted to progress in her profession based purely on her abilities and not because she was “fit”.
She certainly didn’t want the distraction of having to fend off unwanted advances while she tried to qualify.
Her style of dress was muted, still feminine but understated, she wore her hair combed back severely off her and wore heavy framed spectacles.
A look she maintained long after qualification and all through her time at the Winston Churchill Hospital.
The result of which, being that after ten years she remained single and with a reputation for being cold and aloof.
As neither description was true she gave up a senior position at the Churchill to take up general practice, but she needed to learn the ropes as a GP locum, which was why she was working at the Dancingdean Health Centre.
(Part 02)
Kelly had completed her notes and packed her things away.
She was looking forward to getting home, she loosened her hair and shook it out before putting on her woollen hat and slipping on her coat and finally picked up her bag.
No sooner had her fingers curled around the door handle than the phone on her desk rang.
“Oh, so close” she said to herself and released her grip on the door handle.
There was nothing waiting for her at home except what she craved at that moment, peace and solitude.
But she had noticed the steady snowfall through her surgery window and she was not a lover of driving in the snow.
“Hello” she said
“Could you see one more patient Doctor?” the receptionist Lynn Cooper asked “It should be a quick one but it’s quite urgent”
“Of course send them through” she replied and slipped off her coat and sat down.
A few moments later there was a light knock on her door.
“Come in”
When the door opened a tall slightly built man of a similar age to herself walked in.
“Thank you for seeing me Doctor” he said “I’m sorry to delay you”
“That’s fine” Kelly replied
“I see you’re dressed for the conditions” he added
“I’m sorry?”
“Your rather fetching headgear” he explained
“Oh” she said with a laugh “I forgot I had it on”
“So what can I do for you? Mr Springthorpe”
“I need a repeat prescription for my Theophylline I have nearly run out” he said and she tapped at her keyboard
“Your last prescription was in October you shouldn’t have run out yet” she said
“I know but the water tank in my loft sprang a leak and brought the ceiling down which ruined everything in its path” he explained
“Your medication included” The Doctor said
“Yes” he confirmed
“Very well I’ll write you another one” she said
“Thank you Doctor”
“The pharmacy in Oakwood Road is open until 10 o’clock tonight” she said and handed him the prescription
“Thank you Doctor and Merry Christmas”
“Not to Merry I hope” she scolded “Happy Christmas”
The moment the door closed she quickly redressed in her out door clothes and left before the phone went again.
She ran the festive gauntlet of staff members, exchanging greetings in the time honoured fashion and emerged into the snowy car park and she was surprised to find exactly how much had fallen.
She got into her car and set off towards Mornington-By-Mere.
Kelly had only lived in Mornington for a few months, she wanted somewhere that was in striking distance of Shallowfield, Purplemere and Childean which were the towns she would be able to work as a locum.
Even Finchbottom and the Pepperstock’s were doable from Mornington at a pinch.
She had a rented a house in Military Row which was one of a number of good sized family dwellings originally built as Officers Quarters for the Officer personnel from the since defunct Mornington Airfield.
The original plan was to get a short time let and work as a Locum and then when she managed to secure a permanent position in a practice she would then move somewhere close to where she would be working but she had rather fallen in love with the village.
Despite the conditions she had made steady progress and had travelled about two and a half miles before she spotted the red tail lights and she came to a halt at the end of the queue.
There were three or four people milling around in the road so she got out of her car to join them in the hope of finding out what the problem was.
Just ahead of the queue of six cars there was a seventh car being reversed out of a snowdrift.
She made her way to the front and asked
“Is anyone hurt, I’m a Doctor?”
“No Doc, nothing hurt but his pride” An old country man replied
“A bit of a brown trouser moment though I shouldn’t wonder”
This induced a good deal of laughter as much from Kelly as anybody else.
“I take it the road is closed” she said when the laughter had subsided.
“Very much so Doc” Another bumpkin replied
“Then I shall wish you all a Merry Christmas and go in search of an Inn”
(Part 03)
She did a three point turn in the road and headed back the way she had come and hoped she wouldn’t have to spend the entire evening driving around looking for a room.
Kelly was not yet fully au fait with Shallowfield and its environs but she had stored several key landmarks in her memory bank but the only Hotel she could bring to mind was the Shallowfield Lodge Hotel by Teardrop Lake.
Which she thought was as good a place as any to start, if that failed she knew that a lot of her colleagues at the Health Centre lived in the area so she would try her luck with one of them.
Jonathon Springthorpe was due to have dinner on Christmas Eve with his oldest friend and business partner Richard O’Sullivan but he had to cancel it at the last minute when he realized he was almost out of his medication.
Although it was a genuine emergency and not an excuse he still felt guilty cancelling their dinner date because Richard was such a lonely cove.
He pledged to himself he would call round to Richards’s house once he had rectified his medical emergency.
He was very pleased to have caught the Doctor before she left for the Holiday, and even more pleasing was the fact she was so attractive.
After leaving the Health Centre he drove to the Oakwood Road pharmacy and was grateful he didn’t need to drive any further as the snow was several inches deep already and was falling exceedingly fast.
Under the circumstances he abandoned his plan to go and see Richard, so all being well he would be safely indoors for the night within half an hour and then the weather could do as it pleased.
Kelly parked her car and opened the boot, fortunately being a practical person she always had a change of clothes in the car for emergencies.
Unfortunately this did not include underwear so she would need to rinse through what she was wearing, provided of course she could get a room.
She went inside and straight up to the reception desk where a trim well-dressed woman was stood smiling in her direction.
“Can I help?” Mrs Brown said
“I do hope so” she replied dropping her bag to the floor
“I’m stranded in Shallowfield because of the snow and I’m hoping you have a room”
“You’re not the only one dear” Sheryl Brown said “But you’re in luck I have one room left”
“Thank you so much” Kelly said and she felt her shoulders relax
Sheryl Brown gave her a registration card to fill out and asked
“Is it just the one night dear?”
“Oh I don’t know” Kelly said “I hadn’t thought”
“Well look I’ll book you in for two nights, just in case” she suggested
“Ok yes, that’s a good idea” Kelly agreed
After all the formalities were completed and Mrs Brown had given her the key Kelly leant in close and whispered conspiratorially
“There was one other thing, I need to wash my underthings…”
Sheryl put up her hand and stopped her mid-sentence
“Don’t worry dear I have just the thing” she said and disappeared through a door marked private only to emerge 30 seconds later holding a small Tupperware box with a quantity of powder in.
“This is what you need”
“You are a Godsend” Kelly said “Thank you so much ...”
“Call me Sheryl”
“Thank you Sheryl”
“My pleasure” she replied “Now the restaurant is still open though under the circumstances it’s a rather improvised menu, but it will be hot”
“Hot will suffice” Kelly said gratefully
(Part 04)
Kelly went up to her room and quickly freshened up and then made her way back downstairs.
She smiled at Sheryl Brown, as she passed the reception desk, who was busy helping someone else.
She walked into the busy restaurant and found an empty table and had only sat down long enough to order a drink when she was asked.
“Do you mind if I join you doctor?”
It was Jonathon Springthorpe
“Not at all but please don’t call me Doctor” she replied in a hushed tone
“Why? Have you been struck off?” he said
“No” She replied and laughed “But if people know you’re a doctor they can’t help sharing the details of their ailments with you”
“Oh I see, so what should I call you?”
“Kelly will be fine” she replied “would you like a drink?”
“Just a coke please”
“Nothing stronger?” she asked
“No it reacts with my medication” he said and tapped his coat pocket
“Just testing” she lied
“So Kelly what brings you to the Shallowfield Lodge on a snowy Christmas Eve?” Jon asked
“You first” she said
“Well as I said earlier I have some water damage in my house so I’ve moved out while it’s being sorted”
He explained
“So what about you?”
“I was trying to get home but the road was closed by a snowdrift”
She replied
“And where’s home?” he asked
“I live in Mornington” she replied
“So do I” Jon said “I live in the Old Forge”
“Really I’m renting one of the houses in Military row” she said
“It’s a small world isn’t it?”
“So why here?” he asked after the waitress had taken their dinner order
“It was the first place I tried” she replied “but I wanted somewhere local because I’m on call from lunchtime tomorrow for two days”
“Oh bad luck” he said
“No not really I volunteered” Kelly said
“Why on earth did you do that?”
“Well everyone else has a significant other or a family” she said
“And you don’t?”
“No, I have no significant other and no family within easy reach, all my nears and dears are many miles away”
“So not married?” he asked
“No”
“Divorced?”
“No just never married”
“By accident or design?”
“A little of both I suppose” she replied enigmatically just as the food arrived
“So what about you?” Kelly asked
“Divorced” he replied
“How long?
“What married or divorced?”
“Both”
“Married 10, divorced 2” he said
After desert Kelly asked
“So why are you staying here?”
“I told you, my house is unliveable”
“Yes I know, but why here?” she persisted
“Oh I see, well I work in Shallowfield”
“And what do you do for a living?”
“Auctioneer” he replied proudly
“At O’Sullivan and Springthorpe”
“Oooh one of the bosses” she said feigning impression
“One of the partners” he corrected her “Of which there are a number”
“Still, name over the door” she said playing with him
While they were drinking their coffee Jon suddenly asked
“What are you doing for Christmas Lunch tomorrow?”
“I don’t know, whatever they’re serving here I suppose”
“I’m going to my parents for lunch tomorrow” he said
“Why don’t you join us?”
“Oh no I couldn’t impose” she replied
“Nonsense it’s no imposition”
“No I can’t and I’m on call anyway” she insisted
“It’s only in Shallowfield” he said “so it won’t affect you being on call”
“Wait a minute” she said “Your parents live in Shallowfield?”
“Yes”
“So why are you staying here why didn’t you stay at your parents?” she asked aghast
“Are you kidding, 36 years old and moving back in with the folks” he said
“I’d only be there for a day and Mum would start ironing my socks”
When they had stopped laughing Jon said
“So will you come?”
“Oh alright then” she conceded “But explain to your mother that if I have to disappear in a hurry it’s not because I’m not being rude”
They were to meet in reception at 10.30 on Christmas morning,
In the cold light of day Kelly questioned the wisdom of her decision to accept Jon’s invitation.
For a start she was not dressed as smartly as she would have liked but under the circumstances it was the best she could manage.
Fortunately when she arrived downstairs she found Jon had dressed down for the occasion, which made her feel much more comfortable.
“Happy Christmas” he said and kissed her cheek
“Happy Christmas Jon, are you sure I won’t be imposing?”
“Absolutely not” he insisted
(Part 05)
The snow was still falling though much lighter than the night before, so there was an eerie hush apart from the satisfying crunch underfoot.
If she hadn’t been on call they would have walked all the way but she needed her 4 x 4.
When they arrived at the Springthorpe’s home she realised his apparel was not as she had thought, coincidental, but was by design, as all of the family were in their best bib and tucker.
Jon had realised that morning that Kelly would have limited options for the day so deliberately dressed down so she wouldn’t feel awkward.
“Thank you” she whispered when she realised what he had done.
He introduced her to his parents, aunts and uncles, nephews and nieces, kissing cousins, two godsons and a brother all of them dressed to impress.
Including Kelly and Jon there were 19 for dinner, and seating and feeding that many people was no mean feat.
But Margaret Springthorpe did it in style, and everyone’s food was piping hot.
After dinner the gathering fragmented and Kelly volunteered to help with the clearing away, fending off the initial protests that she was a guest.
Just as the last plate was wiped up and put away Jon appeared
“Oh look perfect timing” Margaret said
“Dad won’t stop talking about the Golf game tomorrow so I just had to get out of there” he announced.
“It’s a shame you didn’t get fed up with it a bit sooner then you could have helped” Kelly said
“Well said” Aunty Victoria said
The reason for his father’s discontent in regard to the Golf was that the Annual, Springthorpe Family Cup competed for every year on Boxing Day had been cancelled for the first time since 1936.
Not even Adolph Hitler had been able to put a stop to it.
There had been snow at Christmas before and it had been possible to play the day after but this year due to the depth of snow on the ground the course was unplayable.
“Does it bother you that you won't be playing?” Kelly asked Jon.
“Yes. I love the Boxing Day game” he replied “But it’s impossible, Dad just won’t accept it”
“So why not play it on New Year’s Day instead?” she suggested
Jonathon opened his mouth to speak but seemed unable to find the words and closed it again.
He repeated this mime twice more then turned and left.
“Did you see that Margaret? She left him speechless” Victoria said
“Absolutely marvellous!” Margaret said
Kelly was roundly congratulated by the family for her solution to the Springthorpe Family Cup debacle and they were genuinely disappointed when at just after four o’clock she was called out.
She promised she would return as soon as she had finished but as it turned out she didn’t return until 7 hours later so she went straight to the Hotel where she found Jon waiting for her in the Hotel bar drinking hot chocolate.
“Come and have some” he said “it’ll warm you up”
“What I need is sleep” Kelly said
“Have a drink first, please” he begged
“Oh ok”
“You were a big hit with the family” Jon said
“Oh I don’t know about that”
“Seriously” he said “so much so that you have been invited to take part in the Springthorpe Family Cup”
“But I’m not family”
“You have been made an honorary member” he said
“How do you know I even play?” Kelly asked
“Well you do, don’t you?”
“A little” She said “maybe you can coach me”
They talked for about an hour before Kelly excused herself and went off to her bed.
The moment her head touched the pillow she was asleep and she slept very soundly, which was just as well because on Boxing Day she was bounced all over the district, dealing mainly with patients who have severely overindulged the day before.
(Part 06)
Kelly checked out of the Lodge on the morning after Boxing Day and that evening after surgery she was finally able to drive home to Mornington.
The first thing she did when she got home was to change her underwear, although she had washed them out every night before she went to bed, after wearing the same knickers for four days she still felt dirty.
She then had two wonderful days off in lieu of Christmas which gave her time to tidy her house and do some laundry.
But she was on call again on New Year’s Eve.
Kelly checked back into the Shallowfield Lodge after work on the 30th and that night she had dinner with Jonathon at the Phoenix Restaurant in Shallowfield but it had to be an early finish as she was on call from midnight.
Kelly was on call from midnight on the 30th until one minute past midnight on New Year’s Day.
It was a very quiet day she only had three call outs all day and it gave her plenty of time to think things through.
Kelly liked Jon, he made her laugh and feel sexy all at the same time, and he was kind and thoughtful.
But he or anyone like him was never in her plans for the future.
She had not moved from a senior position at the Winston Churchill into general practice looking for a man, however kind and thoughtful he might be.
But she didn’t think of him as just a man and she hadn’t felt that way about a man since she was studying medicine in Edinburgh.
However that had all ended very badly indeed and left her totally devastated and she did not want to repeat that mistake and feel worthless again.
Perhaps she should just nip it in the bud and not take a chance with him.
But why should she? Why wouldn’t it succeed?
She had always succeeded in her life when she put her mind to things, her recreation, her education, her profession, so why could she not succeed in a bright future for her and Jon.
The only fly in the ointment as far as she was concerned was that she wasn’t really sure how he felt about her.
He hadn’t even tried to kiss her, apart from a peck on the cheek on Christmas Day.
And she had wanted him too, after she found him waiting for her in the bar with hot chocolate.
She concluded that perhaps it was time for her to take the initiative.
On New Year’s Day Jonathon picked her up from the Hotel Car park.
It was a beautiful crisp winter’s day, no wind and not a cloud in the sky, she was standing by her car when Jon pulled up.
“Happy New Year” he said and kissed her cheek.
“Well that’s encouraging” she thought “but just on the cheek again”
But out loud she just repeated his greeting.
While he helped her transfer her clubs from her boot into his she was thinking that if was only going to kiss her on public holidays she would have to wait until Easter for the next one.
The Forest Ridge Golf Club was on the road between Shallowfield and Childean and the journey took about 15 minutes and all the way Jonathon was giving her Golf tips, her grip, her stance, her swing.
His coaching continued in the car park and on the walk to the clubhouse.
“Shut up Jon and kiss me” she screamed in her head
“The most important thing is to relax, don’t tense up” he said
“No the most important thing is that you take me in your arms and kiss me” she replied silently
Even if she’d said it out loud there wouldn’t have been time to act on it as they were soon surrounded by other members of the clan.
(Part 07)
Jon and Kelly were the last to tee off in a four ball with his younger brother Chris and his Uncle George.
“Don’t worry if you’re only a novice” he said as they approached the 1st tee “I can teach you as we go around”
“Ok” she said
Kelly was the first to tee off, it was a short dog leg par four, just under 200 yards to the turn so she selected her 3 wood and took up her position.
“That might be a little ambitious” Chris said
“Remember to relax those shoulders” Jon said encouragingly, agreeing with his brother about her club selection
Kelly took a couple of practice swings and then addressed the ball before hitting a crisp clean drive which sailed straight down the middle of the fairway.
“Whoa” Chris said “I thought you were a novice”
“I never said that” Kelly retorted
“You did say you played “a little”“Jon said
“I have only played “a little” since I moved to Mornington” she said
“You’re a bandit” Jon said and laughed
By the end of the 17th Uncle George and Jon were 5 shots off the pace and Kelly and Chris were all square.
After 3 shots Chris was on the green with a 20ft putt and Kelly was on the apron more than a hundred feet from the pin.
Chris was supremely confident as he watched Kelly chip to within 12 feet of the hole.
Chris however 3 putted and Kelly holed hers to win.
Jon was delighted partly because it gave him ammunition to rib Chris but mainly because he liked Kelly.
When all the scores were in Jon’s Cousin Mike won the day but Kelly was the highest placed woman and she won the nearest the pin on the par 3 7th.
There was a great huddle of bodies at the bar but she was stood in a quiet corner of the lounge admiring her little trophy when Jon joined her.
“So I wasn’t able to teach you anything today after all” he said
“I was trying to impress you and you ended up impressing me”
“That was my intention” she said
“To impress me?” he asked
“To get you to notice me” she replied and he looked puzzled
“You wanted me to notice you?”
“You have a lot to learn about women” she said taking a step towards him.
“Maybe you can teach me then” he told her looking into her eyes.
“There’s no maybe about it” She said and leaned her face towards him and touched her full lips gently to his.
He responded in kind and they were both lost in the magic of the moment.
As their lips parted they both opened their eyes.
“Would you like me to teach you some more?” she asked smiling.
“That’s a silly question” he replied and wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her close and their lips met again, but this time there was no restraint.
It was late afternoon on Christmas Eve at the Dancingdean Health Centre and Locum Doctor Kelly Spearman had one last patient to see.
Mrs Bramwell entered the room with her young daughter Kylie skulking in her wake.
“Come on Kylie the Doctor hasn’t got all day”
“Hello Mrs Bramwell, how can I help?”
“Kylie’s not right Doctor, very odd”
“In what way?”
“Well look at her Doctor you can see you doesn’t look right.
She starts the day feeling sick and ends it eating Pizza with sugar on. It’s no small wonder she’s put on so much weight”
“Well I’ll have to do a full examination” Kelly said
Kylie lay on the examination table and Dr Spearman gave her a thorough exam, asking questions as she did so.
When she had finished she told Kylie to redress and sat down at her desk and tapped at the keyboard until the girl was seated.
“So what’s wrong with her Doctor?” Mrs Bramley
“Well there is no doubt in my mind that Kylie is pregnant” she replied
“About five months to be precise”
“That’s absolute rubbish Doctor, Kylie can’t possibly be pregnant, ridiculous that is, she’s only 14 and I can assure you my daughter has never been with a man”
“There is no doubt” Kelly said as she took off her glasses
“Tell the Doctor, Kylie, tell her you’ve never been with a man”
“I haven’t Doctor I really haven’t, not even kissing” Kylie confirmed
Kelly looked at the girl doubtfully then stood up and walked to the window and stared out into the darkness shaking her head.
“So what’s wrong Doctor?” Mrs Bramley asked “it’s serious isn’t it?”
“Not at all, I just wanted to check the sky for something, because the last time a girl got pregnant without going with a man a bright star appeared in the East”
“Are you trying to be funny?” Mrs Bramwell asked
“No I’m not, I’m trying to make a point” she replied
“Whether Kylie says she has been with a man or not, she is definitely five months pregnant, so I suggest you think back five months and figure out where she didn’t have sex with a man”
“I don’t like your attitude Doctor if my daughter says she’s a virg…” she stopped in mid flow and turned to Kylie and said
“You dirty little cow, it was that boy you met on the beach at Sharpington wasn’t it”
At that the girl began to cry and Mrs Bramley bustled her out of the room admonishing her without acknowledging Kelly again.
Kelly was one of the cleverest medical students of her year and she was also one of the sexiest, a fact she had perpetually tried to play down.
She wanted to progress in her profession based purely on her abilities and not because she was “fit”.
She certainly didn’t want the distraction of having to fend off unwanted advances while she tried to qualify.
Her style of dress was muted, still feminine but understated, she wore her hair combed back severely off her and wore heavy framed spectacles.
A look she maintained long after qualification and all through her time at the Winston Churchill Hospital.
The result of which, being that after ten years she remained single and with a reputation for being cold and aloof.
As neither description was true she gave up a senior position at the Churchill to take up general practice, but she needed to learn the ropes as a GP locum, which was why she was working at the Dancingdean Health Centre.
(Part 02)
Kelly had completed her notes and packed her things away.
She was looking forward to getting home, she loosened her hair and shook it out before putting on her woollen hat and slipping on her coat and finally picked up her bag.
No sooner had her fingers curled around the door handle than the phone on her desk rang.
“Oh, so close” she said to herself and released her grip on the door handle.
There was nothing waiting for her at home except what she craved at that moment, peace and solitude.
But she had noticed the steady snowfall through her surgery window and she was not a lover of driving in the snow.
“Hello” she said
“Could you see one more patient Doctor?” the receptionist Lynn Cooper asked “It should be a quick one but it’s quite urgent”
“Of course send them through” she replied and slipped off her coat and sat down.
A few moments later there was a light knock on her door.
“Come in”
When the door opened a tall slightly built man of a similar age to herself walked in.
“Thank you for seeing me Doctor” he said “I’m sorry to delay you”
“That’s fine” Kelly replied
“I see you’re dressed for the conditions” he added
“I’m sorry?”
“Your rather fetching headgear” he explained
“Oh” she said with a laugh “I forgot I had it on”
“So what can I do for you? Mr Springthorpe”
“I need a repeat prescription for my Theophylline I have nearly run out” he said and she tapped at her keyboard
“Your last prescription was in October you shouldn’t have run out yet” she said
“I know but the water tank in my loft sprang a leak and brought the ceiling down which ruined everything in its path” he explained
“Your medication included” The Doctor said
“Yes” he confirmed
“Very well I’ll write you another one” she said
“Thank you Doctor”
“The pharmacy in Oakwood Road is open until 10 o’clock tonight” she said and handed him the prescription
“Thank you Doctor and Merry Christmas”
“Not to Merry I hope” she scolded “Happy Christmas”
The moment the door closed she quickly redressed in her out door clothes and left before the phone went again.
She ran the festive gauntlet of staff members, exchanging greetings in the time honoured fashion and emerged into the snowy car park and she was surprised to find exactly how much had fallen.
She got into her car and set off towards Mornington-By-Mere.
Kelly had only lived in Mornington for a few months, she wanted somewhere that was in striking distance of Shallowfield, Purplemere and Childean which were the towns she would be able to work as a locum.
Even Finchbottom and the Pepperstock’s were doable from Mornington at a pinch.
She had a rented a house in Military Row which was one of a number of good sized family dwellings originally built as Officers Quarters for the Officer personnel from the since defunct Mornington Airfield.
The original plan was to get a short time let and work as a Locum and then when she managed to secure a permanent position in a practice she would then move somewhere close to where she would be working but she had rather fallen in love with the village.
Despite the conditions she had made steady progress and had travelled about two and a half miles before she spotted the red tail lights and she came to a halt at the end of the queue.
There were three or four people milling around in the road so she got out of her car to join them in the hope of finding out what the problem was.
Just ahead of the queue of six cars there was a seventh car being reversed out of a snowdrift.
She made her way to the front and asked
“Is anyone hurt, I’m a Doctor?”
“No Doc, nothing hurt but his pride” An old country man replied
“A bit of a brown trouser moment though I shouldn’t wonder”
This induced a good deal of laughter as much from Kelly as anybody else.
“I take it the road is closed” she said when the laughter had subsided.
“Very much so Doc” Another bumpkin replied
“Then I shall wish you all a Merry Christmas and go in search of an Inn”
(Part 03)
She did a three point turn in the road and headed back the way she had come and hoped she wouldn’t have to spend the entire evening driving around looking for a room.
Kelly was not yet fully au fait with Shallowfield and its environs but she had stored several key landmarks in her memory bank but the only Hotel she could bring to mind was the Shallowfield Lodge Hotel by Teardrop Lake.
Which she thought was as good a place as any to start, if that failed she knew that a lot of her colleagues at the Health Centre lived in the area so she would try her luck with one of them.
Jonathon Springthorpe was due to have dinner on Christmas Eve with his oldest friend and business partner Richard O’Sullivan but he had to cancel it at the last minute when he realized he was almost out of his medication.
Although it was a genuine emergency and not an excuse he still felt guilty cancelling their dinner date because Richard was such a lonely cove.
He pledged to himself he would call round to Richards’s house once he had rectified his medical emergency.
He was very pleased to have caught the Doctor before she left for the Holiday, and even more pleasing was the fact she was so attractive.
After leaving the Health Centre he drove to the Oakwood Road pharmacy and was grateful he didn’t need to drive any further as the snow was several inches deep already and was falling exceedingly fast.
Under the circumstances he abandoned his plan to go and see Richard, so all being well he would be safely indoors for the night within half an hour and then the weather could do as it pleased.
Kelly parked her car and opened the boot, fortunately being a practical person she always had a change of clothes in the car for emergencies.
Unfortunately this did not include underwear so she would need to rinse through what she was wearing, provided of course she could get a room.
She went inside and straight up to the reception desk where a trim well-dressed woman was stood smiling in her direction.
“Can I help?” Mrs Brown said
“I do hope so” she replied dropping her bag to the floor
“I’m stranded in Shallowfield because of the snow and I’m hoping you have a room”
“You’re not the only one dear” Sheryl Brown said “But you’re in luck I have one room left”
“Thank you so much” Kelly said and she felt her shoulders relax
Sheryl Brown gave her a registration card to fill out and asked
“Is it just the one night dear?”
“Oh I don’t know” Kelly said “I hadn’t thought”
“Well look I’ll book you in for two nights, just in case” she suggested
“Ok yes, that’s a good idea” Kelly agreed
After all the formalities were completed and Mrs Brown had given her the key Kelly leant in close and whispered conspiratorially
“There was one other thing, I need to wash my underthings…”
Sheryl put up her hand and stopped her mid-sentence
“Don’t worry dear I have just the thing” she said and disappeared through a door marked private only to emerge 30 seconds later holding a small Tupperware box with a quantity of powder in.
“This is what you need”
“You are a Godsend” Kelly said “Thank you so much ...”
“Call me Sheryl”
“Thank you Sheryl”
“My pleasure” she replied “Now the restaurant is still open though under the circumstances it’s a rather improvised menu, but it will be hot”
“Hot will suffice” Kelly said gratefully
(Part 04)
Kelly went up to her room and quickly freshened up and then made her way back downstairs.
She smiled at Sheryl Brown, as she passed the reception desk, who was busy helping someone else.
She walked into the busy restaurant and found an empty table and had only sat down long enough to order a drink when she was asked.
“Do you mind if I join you doctor?”
It was Jonathon Springthorpe
“Not at all but please don’t call me Doctor” she replied in a hushed tone
“Why? Have you been struck off?” he said
“No” She replied and laughed “But if people know you’re a doctor they can’t help sharing the details of their ailments with you”
“Oh I see, so what should I call you?”
“Kelly will be fine” she replied “would you like a drink?”
“Just a coke please”
“Nothing stronger?” she asked
“No it reacts with my medication” he said and tapped his coat pocket
“Just testing” she lied
“So Kelly what brings you to the Shallowfield Lodge on a snowy Christmas Eve?” Jon asked
“You first” she said
“Well as I said earlier I have some water damage in my house so I’ve moved out while it’s being sorted”
He explained
“So what about you?”
“I was trying to get home but the road was closed by a snowdrift”
She replied
“And where’s home?” he asked
“I live in Mornington” she replied
“So do I” Jon said “I live in the Old Forge”
“Really I’m renting one of the houses in Military row” she said
“It’s a small world isn’t it?”
“So why here?” he asked after the waitress had taken their dinner order
“It was the first place I tried” she replied “but I wanted somewhere local because I’m on call from lunchtime tomorrow for two days”
“Oh bad luck” he said
“No not really I volunteered” Kelly said
“Why on earth did you do that?”
“Well everyone else has a significant other or a family” she said
“And you don’t?”
“No, I have no significant other and no family within easy reach, all my nears and dears are many miles away”
“So not married?” he asked
“No”
“Divorced?”
“No just never married”
“By accident or design?”
“A little of both I suppose” she replied enigmatically just as the food arrived
“So what about you?” Kelly asked
“Divorced” he replied
“How long?
“What married or divorced?”
“Both”
“Married 10, divorced 2” he said
After desert Kelly asked
“So why are you staying here?”
“I told you, my house is unliveable”
“Yes I know, but why here?” she persisted
“Oh I see, well I work in Shallowfield”
“And what do you do for a living?”
“Auctioneer” he replied proudly
“At O’Sullivan and Springthorpe”
“Oooh one of the bosses” she said feigning impression
“One of the partners” he corrected her “Of which there are a number”
“Still, name over the door” she said playing with him
While they were drinking their coffee Jon suddenly asked
“What are you doing for Christmas Lunch tomorrow?”
“I don’t know, whatever they’re serving here I suppose”
“I’m going to my parents for lunch tomorrow” he said
“Why don’t you join us?”
“Oh no I couldn’t impose” she replied
“Nonsense it’s no imposition”
“No I can’t and I’m on call anyway” she insisted
“It’s only in Shallowfield” he said “so it won’t affect you being on call”
“Wait a minute” she said “Your parents live in Shallowfield?”
“Yes”
“So why are you staying here why didn’t you stay at your parents?” she asked aghast
“Are you kidding, 36 years old and moving back in with the folks” he said
“I’d only be there for a day and Mum would start ironing my socks”
When they had stopped laughing Jon said
“So will you come?”
“Oh alright then” she conceded “But explain to your mother that if I have to disappear in a hurry it’s not because I’m not being rude”
They were to meet in reception at 10.30 on Christmas morning,
In the cold light of day Kelly questioned the wisdom of her decision to accept Jon’s invitation.
For a start she was not dressed as smartly as she would have liked but under the circumstances it was the best she could manage.
Fortunately when she arrived downstairs she found Jon had dressed down for the occasion, which made her feel much more comfortable.
“Happy Christmas” he said and kissed her cheek
“Happy Christmas Jon, are you sure I won’t be imposing?”
“Absolutely not” he insisted
(Part 05)
The snow was still falling though much lighter than the night before, so there was an eerie hush apart from the satisfying crunch underfoot.
If she hadn’t been on call they would have walked all the way but she needed her 4 x 4.
When they arrived at the Springthorpe’s home she realised his apparel was not as she had thought, coincidental, but was by design, as all of the family were in their best bib and tucker.
Jon had realised that morning that Kelly would have limited options for the day so deliberately dressed down so she wouldn’t feel awkward.
“Thank you” she whispered when she realised what he had done.
He introduced her to his parents, aunts and uncles, nephews and nieces, kissing cousins, two godsons and a brother all of them dressed to impress.
Including Kelly and Jon there were 19 for dinner, and seating and feeding that many people was no mean feat.
But Margaret Springthorpe did it in style, and everyone’s food was piping hot.
After dinner the gathering fragmented and Kelly volunteered to help with the clearing away, fending off the initial protests that she was a guest.
Just as the last plate was wiped up and put away Jon appeared
“Oh look perfect timing” Margaret said
“Dad won’t stop talking about the Golf game tomorrow so I just had to get out of there” he announced.
“It’s a shame you didn’t get fed up with it a bit sooner then you could have helped” Kelly said
“Well said” Aunty Victoria said
The reason for his father’s discontent in regard to the Golf was that the Annual, Springthorpe Family Cup competed for every year on Boxing Day had been cancelled for the first time since 1936.
Not even Adolph Hitler had been able to put a stop to it.
There had been snow at Christmas before and it had been possible to play the day after but this year due to the depth of snow on the ground the course was unplayable.
“Does it bother you that you won't be playing?” Kelly asked Jon.
“Yes. I love the Boxing Day game” he replied “But it’s impossible, Dad just won’t accept it”
“So why not play it on New Year’s Day instead?” she suggested
Jonathon opened his mouth to speak but seemed unable to find the words and closed it again.
He repeated this mime twice more then turned and left.
“Did you see that Margaret? She left him speechless” Victoria said
“Absolutely marvellous!” Margaret said
Kelly was roundly congratulated by the family for her solution to the Springthorpe Family Cup debacle and they were genuinely disappointed when at just after four o’clock she was called out.
She promised she would return as soon as she had finished but as it turned out she didn’t return until 7 hours later so she went straight to the Hotel where she found Jon waiting for her in the Hotel bar drinking hot chocolate.
“Come and have some” he said “it’ll warm you up”
“What I need is sleep” Kelly said
“Have a drink first, please” he begged
“Oh ok”
“You were a big hit with the family” Jon said
“Oh I don’t know about that”
“Seriously” he said “so much so that you have been invited to take part in the Springthorpe Family Cup”
“But I’m not family”
“You have been made an honorary member” he said
“How do you know I even play?” Kelly asked
“Well you do, don’t you?”
“A little” She said “maybe you can coach me”
They talked for about an hour before Kelly excused herself and went off to her bed.
The moment her head touched the pillow she was asleep and she slept very soundly, which was just as well because on Boxing Day she was bounced all over the district, dealing mainly with patients who have severely overindulged the day before.
(Part 06)
Kelly checked out of the Lodge on the morning after Boxing Day and that evening after surgery she was finally able to drive home to Mornington.
The first thing she did when she got home was to change her underwear, although she had washed them out every night before she went to bed, after wearing the same knickers for four days she still felt dirty.
She then had two wonderful days off in lieu of Christmas which gave her time to tidy her house and do some laundry.
But she was on call again on New Year’s Eve.
Kelly checked back into the Shallowfield Lodge after work on the 30th and that night she had dinner with Jonathon at the Phoenix Restaurant in Shallowfield but it had to be an early finish as she was on call from midnight.
Kelly was on call from midnight on the 30th until one minute past midnight on New Year’s Day.
It was a very quiet day she only had three call outs all day and it gave her plenty of time to think things through.
Kelly liked Jon, he made her laugh and feel sexy all at the same time, and he was kind and thoughtful.
But he or anyone like him was never in her plans for the future.
She had not moved from a senior position at the Winston Churchill into general practice looking for a man, however kind and thoughtful he might be.
But she didn’t think of him as just a man and she hadn’t felt that way about a man since she was studying medicine in Edinburgh.
However that had all ended very badly indeed and left her totally devastated and she did not want to repeat that mistake and feel worthless again.
Perhaps she should just nip it in the bud and not take a chance with him.
But why should she? Why wouldn’t it succeed?
She had always succeeded in her life when she put her mind to things, her recreation, her education, her profession, so why could she not succeed in a bright future for her and Jon.
The only fly in the ointment as far as she was concerned was that she wasn’t really sure how he felt about her.
He hadn’t even tried to kiss her, apart from a peck on the cheek on Christmas Day.
And she had wanted him too, after she found him waiting for her in the bar with hot chocolate.
She concluded that perhaps it was time for her to take the initiative.
On New Year’s Day Jonathon picked her up from the Hotel Car park.
It was a beautiful crisp winter’s day, no wind and not a cloud in the sky, she was standing by her car when Jon pulled up.
“Happy New Year” he said and kissed her cheek.
“Well that’s encouraging” she thought “but just on the cheek again”
But out loud she just repeated his greeting.
While he helped her transfer her clubs from her boot into his she was thinking that if was only going to kiss her on public holidays she would have to wait until Easter for the next one.
The Forest Ridge Golf Club was on the road between Shallowfield and Childean and the journey took about 15 minutes and all the way Jonathon was giving her Golf tips, her grip, her stance, her swing.
His coaching continued in the car park and on the walk to the clubhouse.
“Shut up Jon and kiss me” she screamed in her head
“The most important thing is to relax, don’t tense up” he said
“No the most important thing is that you take me in your arms and kiss me” she replied silently
Even if she’d said it out loud there wouldn’t have been time to act on it as they were soon surrounded by other members of the clan.
(Part 07)
Jon and Kelly were the last to tee off in a four ball with his younger brother Chris and his Uncle George.
“Don’t worry if you’re only a novice” he said as they approached the 1st tee “I can teach you as we go around”
“Ok” she said
Kelly was the first to tee off, it was a short dog leg par four, just under 200 yards to the turn so she selected her 3 wood and took up her position.
“That might be a little ambitious” Chris said
“Remember to relax those shoulders” Jon said encouragingly, agreeing with his brother about her club selection
Kelly took a couple of practice swings and then addressed the ball before hitting a crisp clean drive which sailed straight down the middle of the fairway.
“Whoa” Chris said “I thought you were a novice”
“I never said that” Kelly retorted
“You did say you played “a little”“Jon said
“I have only played “a little” since I moved to Mornington” she said
“You’re a bandit” Jon said and laughed
By the end of the 17th Uncle George and Jon were 5 shots off the pace and Kelly and Chris were all square.
After 3 shots Chris was on the green with a 20ft putt and Kelly was on the apron more than a hundred feet from the pin.
Chris was supremely confident as he watched Kelly chip to within 12 feet of the hole.
Chris however 3 putted and Kelly holed hers to win.
Jon was delighted partly because it gave him ammunition to rib Chris but mainly because he liked Kelly.
When all the scores were in Jon’s Cousin Mike won the day but Kelly was the highest placed woman and she won the nearest the pin on the par 3 7th.
There was a great huddle of bodies at the bar but she was stood in a quiet corner of the lounge admiring her little trophy when Jon joined her.
“So I wasn’t able to teach you anything today after all” he said
“I was trying to impress you and you ended up impressing me”
“That was my intention” she said
“To impress me?” he asked
“To get you to notice me” she replied and he looked puzzled
“You wanted me to notice you?”
“You have a lot to learn about women” she said taking a step towards him.
“Maybe you can teach me then” he told her looking into her eyes.
“There’s no maybe about it” She said and leaned her face towards him and touched her full lips gently to his.
He responded in kind and they were both lost in the magic of the moment.
As their lips parted they both opened their eyes.
“Would you like me to teach you some more?” she asked smiling.
“That’s a silly question” he replied and wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her close and their lips met again, but this time there was no restraint.
Friday, 10 February 2017
The Love Selection # 9
I STILL CLING TO YOU
I still cling to you
For fear of drowning
In your arms
I feel secure
But it’s an illusion
Its false security
Despite your deceit
And betrayals
I still cling to you
Instead of swimming free
Not for fear of drowning
But fear of being alone
LOVE APPEARED LIKE AN EMERGING FLOWER
Love appeared like an emerging flower
Blooming like a flush on a maidens cheek
Spreading out like the wings of a bird
And taking flight upon romantic winds
Traversing the immense poetic globe
Reaching every corner of the world
Before returning to its love struck source
For there is no greater extent
To which a love can aspire
Than all around the world and back again
MANY THINGS BREAK MY HEART IN TWO
Many things break my heart in two
But the hardest thing to see
Is you softly speaking words of love
To a man who isn’t me
THERE IS BEAUTY IN THE WORLD
There is beauty in the world
Not the fake painted on kind
True beauty doesn’t wear
The artificial gloss of glamour
Or the mask of vanity
True natural beauty
Is hidden in a maiden fair
Who lives blissfully unaware
Of her great gift
Because the greatest beauty of all
Resides within
I HAD HIGH HOPES OF YOU
I had high hopes of you
But you let me down
You turned out to be inconsistent
Shifting like the desert dunes
And I can see clearly that you’re
Undependable and feckless
With feet of clay
I wasted too much time
Trying to get you to commit
I can only liken it
Too trying to nail jelly to a tree.
IN EVERY CORNER OF MY MIND
In every corner of my mind
An endless moment lives
Burnt into my memory
Glowing like an ember
That won’t die
Tormenting and taunting
A loop of reminiscence
Constantly reminding me
Of the fateful moment
That I let you go
GRIEF HITS LIKE AN IRON FIST
Grief hits like an iron fist
Cloaked in a velvet glove
But grief is the ultimate price
We all have to pay for love
THE WORLD IS A COLD AND EMPTY PLACE
The world is a cold and empty place
Devoid of beauty
When you fall out of love
Colder and emptier still
When someone else
Falls out of love with you
I still cling to you
For fear of drowning
In your arms
I feel secure
But it’s an illusion
Its false security
Despite your deceit
And betrayals
I still cling to you
Instead of swimming free
Not for fear of drowning
But fear of being alone
LOVE APPEARED LIKE AN EMERGING FLOWER
Love appeared like an emerging flower
Blooming like a flush on a maidens cheek
Spreading out like the wings of a bird
And taking flight upon romantic winds
Traversing the immense poetic globe
Reaching every corner of the world
Before returning to its love struck source
For there is no greater extent
To which a love can aspire
Than all around the world and back again
MANY THINGS BREAK MY HEART IN TWO
Many things break my heart in two
But the hardest thing to see
Is you softly speaking words of love
To a man who isn’t me
THERE IS BEAUTY IN THE WORLD
There is beauty in the world
Not the fake painted on kind
True beauty doesn’t wear
The artificial gloss of glamour
Or the mask of vanity
True natural beauty
Is hidden in a maiden fair
Who lives blissfully unaware
Of her great gift
Because the greatest beauty of all
Resides within
I HAD HIGH HOPES OF YOU
I had high hopes of you
But you let me down
You turned out to be inconsistent
Shifting like the desert dunes
And I can see clearly that you’re
Undependable and feckless
With feet of clay
I wasted too much time
Trying to get you to commit
I can only liken it
Too trying to nail jelly to a tree.
IN EVERY CORNER OF MY MIND
In every corner of my mind
An endless moment lives
Burnt into my memory
Glowing like an ember
That won’t die
Tormenting and taunting
A loop of reminiscence
Constantly reminding me
Of the fateful moment
That I let you go
GRIEF HITS LIKE AN IRON FIST
Grief hits like an iron fist
Cloaked in a velvet glove
But grief is the ultimate price
We all have to pay for love
THE WORLD IS A COLD AND EMPTY PLACE
The world is a cold and empty place
Devoid of beauty
When you fall out of love
Colder and emptier still
When someone else
Falls out of love with you
Abigail’s Tale - One Day Very Soon
In the comfort of the coffee shop
Nestled into a sofa
Sits Abigail, homesick and sad
As she reads a letter from home
She knows the sadness will pass
And sooner this time than the last
It strikes each time a letter arrives from home
With news from those she left behind
Her parents, loving and kind
Her sister annoyingly lovely
All her friends of long standing
And of course him
She left her home town
The only place she had ever lived
After her marriage failed
So she is building a new life
Away from the people and places
Away from all the familiarity
That reminded her daily
Of her failure and her inadequacies
So she lives in a new town
And is making new friends
Discovering new familiar places
And trying to forget past mistakes
She has joined a new church
Where her angels voice
Sings in praise to heaven
And she is finding peace within herself
One day very soon Abigail will sit
In the comfort of the coffee shop
Nestled into a sofa
And not be homesick and sad
One day very soon Abigail will read
A long letter from home
And smile at it contents
And not feel the old pain strike
One day very soon
Abigail will let herself be happy
One day very soon
Abigail will forgive herself
Nestled into a sofa
Sits Abigail, homesick and sad
As she reads a letter from home
She knows the sadness will pass
And sooner this time than the last
It strikes each time a letter arrives from home
With news from those she left behind
Her parents, loving and kind
Her sister annoyingly lovely
All her friends of long standing
And of course him
She left her home town
The only place she had ever lived
After her marriage failed
So she is building a new life
Away from the people and places
Away from all the familiarity
That reminded her daily
Of her failure and her inadequacies
So she lives in a new town
And is making new friends
Discovering new familiar places
And trying to forget past mistakes
She has joined a new church
Where her angels voice
Sings in praise to heaven
And she is finding peace within herself
One day very soon Abigail will sit
In the comfort of the coffee shop
Nestled into a sofa
And not be homesick and sad
One day very soon Abigail will read
A long letter from home
And smile at it contents
And not feel the old pain strike
One day very soon
Abigail will let herself be happy
One day very soon
Abigail will forgive herself
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