Wednesday, 2 December 2020

Uncanny Tales – (005) – Chapter 03 – The House Guest and the Wise Counsel

 I was trapped in the cottage and its environs, I was earth bound because I shut myself away to wallow in self-pity after the death of my wife Rose.

So, I had come to the conclusion that I must help another person in order to “move on” and re-join my Rose.

It would have been easier if I had done it while I was still alive I could have gone off and sought out someone to help, but as I was dead I had to wait for someone to come to me.

But then if I had lived out my last months in the world in the same way as I lived the rest of my life I wouldn’t have been in the mess I was in.

Or maybe this was how it was meant to be, it was my destiny to help someone, which is where Julie came in, she had come to the cottage to escape the world.

At that moment I didn’t know why, and I would need to know that before I could help her, and I was determined to help her whether she liked it or not.

But to find out what I needed to know I needed to be on good terms with her, which was not helped by my clumsy handling of the situation.

So, it was with some trepidation, after our angry exchange, that I went into the sitting room later in the day.

I feared she might take out the anger she felt towards me and channel it at the innocent revellers.

To be on the safe side I remained invisible until I had assessed the lay of the land, I half expect to see Julie sitting in a rocking chair swigging from a whisky bottle and catapulting sweets at the trick or treaters heads, but she was humming, I hadn’t witnessed her humming before, she did impatient tapping of her fingers, she did grinding her teeth, but I had never witnessed humming.

Despite the fact that the humming was a little unnerving, I took a gamble that it was safe, so I materialized.

“You’re humming” I said, and she jumped, I had startled her, and she was clearly flustered, then her face went scarlet.

“No, I’m not” she said indignantly.

“You were humming, I heard you”

“What you heard was me clearing my throat” Julie said without conviction, so she changed the subject.

“Anyway, where have you been, have you been keeping out of my way?”

“I thought it advisable” I said.

Before she had chance to comment she was alerted to approach of trick or treaters coming down the long winding path.

At this time of the day Julie would normally have to employ her stick to move with any kind of speed around the house but I noticed it was leant discretely against the wall behind the door out of sight of anyone who might be standing on the step if the door was open.

She pulled the curtain back a couple of inches and peered out.

“They’re coming, what do I do?” she asked urgently

“Well” I began.

“Oh, come on, you got me into this mess”

“Calm down you’ll have a stroke” I said

Julie took a deep breath and waited for me to speak.

“All the children will have a bag for their sweets” I told her.

“Yes, yes” she said impatiently.

“Well you put a small handful of sweets into each bag but don’t be too generous to early or you won’t have enough to go around everyone”

“Ok” she said and nodded.

“But first you have to open the door” I said inclining my head towards the closed door.

“Oh God yes” she said and laughed nervously “that would help”

Julie opened the door and was met with a chorus of “TRICK OR TREAT” from a small group of excited witches, warlocks, ghosts and ghouls.

“Wow look at you all” she said “What brilliant costumes”

“Ok who’s first?” she asked as she picked up one of the sweet tubs and scooped up a handful.

At the back of the group keeping order was a tall dark-haired man, wearing a flat cap and leather jacket, Julie caught his eye briefly and smiled and he smiled back, then carried on with the sweets, but she kept glancing in his direction, and she estimated he was in his thirties.

Soon she had deposited a handful of sweets into every bag and the group moved back up the path.

“Goodbye Miss Molesworth” the tall man said and smiled, and she smiled back and then looked self-consciously in my direction.

Despite herself she was still smiling as she shut the door.

“You didn’t smile at the children did you” I asked

“You’ll scar them for life”

“Oh! and which poor child was it that you made cry” she retorted

“Or was it someone else you were smiling at?” I said, and Julie blushed deeply just as the doorbell rang.

“Saved by the bell” I said

Julie opened the door and repeated the exercise, and then another three times until the sweet tubs were empty and all the village children had had their share, then she closed the door and reached for her cane.

“I’m exhausted”

“You enjoyed it though?”

She gave me a stern sideways glance and I could see pain in her features.

“Ask me later after I’ve had a drink” she said and then with a bottle of wine and a glass she hobbled towards her armchair.

“Will you join me?” She asked smiling “Oh I forgot you can’t”

“Oh, that’s cruel”

After her first glass of wine she began to relax and after the second she had lowered her guard.

“You had a good time, didn’t you?” I ventured.

“Ok yes I enjoyed, it though I’ll deny it tomorrow”   

“And the smile?”

“I admit he was very handsome, for a yokel”

“His name is Paul Warwick and he’s not so much a yokel more a country squire”

“Really” She said with disinterest

“So, which of the little darlings were his children?”

“None of them” I answered “He’s not married”

“Oh!” she exclaimed then replaced it with a rather muted “oh”

After another glass I thought it was safe to raise the subject of this afternoon’s exchange of views.

“Am I forgiven?” I asked.

“What for?” She slurred

It became apparent I had left it one glass too late for a sensible conversation, I had forgotten to take into account that she hadn’t eaten since lunch.

“This afternoon”

“Of course, you spoke very wisdomous words”

“Wisdomous?”

“Yes, you are very wisdomly” she said as she leant forward to raise her glass to me and slopped half of it on the table

“I think you mean wise”

“Well I was close” she almost said slopping more wine this time down her blouse.

“Time to get you to bed I think”

“You cheeky old ghost you” She said trying to get out of the chair.

Once she managed to get vertical her bad leg gave way and I had to catch her before she hit the floor.

It was a good job I had been practising otherwise I would never have been able to help her, it would have appeared as a very comical scene as I had a firm hold on Julie yet when she tried to hold onto me her hands kept going through me.

“You’re a difficult man to get to grips with Harry” she remarked with a puzzled expression on her face.

“Well you concentrate on staying upright and I will propel you upstairs to bed”

“Ok”

So, with her tongue sticking out the side of her mouth and one eye closed tight shut she managed to adopt a stance which kept her more or less upright.

I then gave her instructions “Left, Right, Left, Right” until we had made the journey up to her room then I guided her onto her bed.

“I hope you’re going to behave like a gentleman” she said and smiled, still with one eye shut tight.

“You’re quite safe, I’m dead remember” I replied as I covered her.

“That’s the story of my life” She said

“What is?”

“Trying to raise the dead in the bedroom” this caused her to explode with a laugh so dirty it wouldn’t have been out of place in a Carry On film, she was still chuckling when I turned out the light.

“Good night Julie”

“Night Harry”

 

The next morning, I was sat in the kitchen reading the local newspaper, when she walked in, surprisingly bright though she was walking quite stiffly, and she was a little shamefaced.

“Good morning Julie and how are we this morning?”

“I’m fine” she said shortly then she added.

“Was I very embarrassing last night?”

“Not very” I replied.

“Oh God, I was embarrassing though?”

“You were very funny it was nice to see you happy”

“Thanks to you” She said quietly.

“I beg your pardon?” I said and looked up from the paper quite shocked, but she was already on her way out the door for her physio appointment.

 

It was late afternoon when she returned, and she was moving only a little more stiffly than she had been when she left that morning.

“Didn’t you go to physio?” I asked

“Yes, I did, and it was the best session I’ve had” She replied “I think I’m turning the corner at last”

“Excellent”

“Good news and bad news from the doctor though”

“Oh?”

“The good news is he’s changed my medication which is stronger, but I only need to take them as and when needed”

“And the bad news?”

“Strictly no alcohol with these ones” She said holding up an innocuous looking brown bottle.

“A small price to pay though” I said encouragingly

“That’s easily said by someone who can’t hold their drink” she said then laughed like a drain, but her mirth was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Quick hide” She said

“Ok” I said jumping up.

“Wait a minute I don’t have to hide I’m a ghost, I’m invisible”

Julie looked at me and put one finger up to her lips indicating I should shut up even though she was the only one who could hear me, then she opened the door.

When the door opened it revealed a very wet Paul Warwick.

“Oh, look it’s the yokel” I said

“Hello Miss Molesworth” the yokel said

“Please call me Julie and do come in out of the rain”

“Thank you”

He stepped in and Julie closed the door.

“He’s dripping on your carpet”

“I hope I’m not disturbing you” Paul said.

“No not at all” She replied

“Good, it’s just I thought I could hear voices before”

“That was probably the radio” She lied

“Good” he said unconvinced.

“Quick change the subject” I suggested.

“Can I offer you a hot drink?”

“No thank you I can’t stop I’m afraid, I just called to see if you were aware of the November 5th bonfire party?”

“No, I wasn’t” Julie answered

“Well we run a coach from the church hall over to Little Trotwood every year, they have an organised display, would you be interested?”

“That’s very kind of you but…”

“Go on say yes” I urged

“…my leg isn’t really up to it…”

“Liar”

“…. It’s not good in the damp weather”

“That’s a shame” Paul said sincerely “It’s always a very good display and they have the best hog roast in the county”

“Thank you anyway” Julie added

“If you change your mind just give me a call” He said reaching into his coat and bringing out a card which he handed to her.

“I will”

She opened the door again and Paul stepped out into the rain again.

“No problem, bye”

“Good bye and thanks again” Julie said closing the door.

“Coward” I said after she had shut the door.

“I don’t like fireworks that’s all” she said pulling a face.

“Coward”

“I’m not a coward” She replied indignantly.

“What else do you call it? He’s attracted to you and you to him”

“Nonsense” Julie said clearly flustered

“And even if there were any attraction I don’t need anyone in my life”

“Everyone needs someone” I said

“Rubbish, in the end people always let you down”

“You can’t tar everyone with the same brush” I said

“I don’t need anyone Harry, I’m perfectly happy on my own”

“Paul’s a good man” I pointed out

“It doesn’t matter how they start out in the end they always let you down, trust me”

I started to speak but she interrupted

“Harry let’s just agree to disagree, shall we?”

I knew I was fighting a losing battle so meekly I said “Ok”

“Good now I’m off to have a bath”

Uncanny Tales – (005) – Chapter 02 – The House Guest Exposed

 Three days after, for want of a better phrase, I exposed myself to Juliana, was one of those wonderful early autumn days that lifts your spirits but can also take you by surprise when you step out into it as the sun can deceive you into thinking the summer hasn’t quite surrendered and then the bitter October wind stings you.

I couldn’t tell which it might be as it looked like it might be quite warm, but I couldn’t tell, firstly as I was inside looking out and secondly because I was dead and couldn’t feel anything. 

Juliana had been upstairs dressing as it was one of her physio days and she was just hobbling her way downstairs and I was beginning to think that she had indeed passed off our encounter as a hallucination but as she picked up her car keys and opened the front door she called back behind her without turning around.

“Bye Harry”

I didn’t reply because it caught me by surprise, but I don’t think she was looking for an answer though it was difficult to tell as there was no feeling behind the words.

Was it a “Bye Harry” see you later or “Bye Harry” I can’t live in a house with a ghost?

Or perhaps “Bye Harry” are you really there?

She was gone all day and I was beginning to think I had scared her away as it was unusual for her to be quite so late and it had been dark for some time when her car pulled up outside the cottage.

It was a little after seven when she came in through the door her face was tired and strained and she moved uncomfortably.

I had seen that pained look before in the weeks I had been observing her.

It was as a result of her physiotherapy sessions where they worked her hard and she suffered for it, but it was working, and she was getting better.

I had seen the change in her over the weeks and she was getting better, becoming stronger and less reliant on her stick, but her sessions left her exhausted and in a lot of pain.

She moved slowly over to the armchair and collapsed into it, after a few moments she rummaged in her bag and brought out a bottle of water then she reached onto the table and picked up her pills, her hand was shaking as she opened the bottle, she put one in her mouth and took a long drink of water then she leaned back and sighed.

She closed her eyes and was drifting off to sleep, so I sat in the chair opposite her and spoke to her.

“Juliana!”

She didn’t respond.

“Juliana!”

“What do you want?” she said without opening her eyes. “And don’t call me Juliana, only my Mother calls me Juliana”

“What should I call you then?”

She opened her eyes and looked straight at me.

“Julie is fine, but never Jules, I hate that”

“Ok” I said

She closed her eyes again.

“Julie”

“What?” She responded impatiently.

“You need to go to bed”

“I can sleep here, its fine now leave me alone”

“Julie, you need to go to bed”

“Leave me alone or I’ll call Ghostbusters and they’ll come and Hoover you up”

“They don’t exist” I said

“Nor do you” she replied

“But I’m here though, and I’m not going to shut up until you go to bed” I stated, and she opened one eye.

“That’s really unkind” she said with surprise.

“It’s for your own good” I said sagely

She looked unconvinced but struggled to her feet muttering under her breath, then she started slowly towards the stairs.

I felt guilty because it was clearly painful for her to walk but I knew it would be so much better for her to get a good rest in bed.

I wished I could help her, but I was unable to, I hadn’t mastered any of the physical stuff when I was in the cottage on my own it didn’t seem worth training myself to open a door when it was easier to walk through it.

Since I had had a house guest, or perhaps landlady would be more precise, as I was actually the house guest, I had been practising with some small success but propelling a person, even a small person, up a flight of stairs was beyond my capabilities.

“I can’t believe that I’m being haunted by Casper’s Granddad and he is making me do this” She said as she struggled up the stairs.

As she reached the top she paused briefly to catch her breath then she headed for her room.

“Tomorrow I’m calling an exorcist” she shouted.

A few minutes later all was silent, and, in an instant, I left the sitting room and transported myself to her bedroom.

It was the first time I’d been upstairs since she moved in and she had made the room very nice.

She was lying on her back fully clothed and sleeping peacefully on her bed.

On the trunk at the foot of her bed was a throw, which with a great deal of effort I managed to cover the lower half of her with it, and I was just about to continue when her hand reached down and pulled it the rest of the way up and she turned onto her side with the throw wrapped round her shoulders.

That left me with the simple task of flicking the light switch something that I had mastered.

 

The next day was a dull and dreary early October day and it was raining hard, the rain beating against the window glass like someone was throwing handfuls of gravel.

Julie didn’t come downstairs until 11 o’clock, I had heard her moving about upstairs from about ten then I could hear the bath running so after more than twelve hours sleep and a hot bath she made her way down the stairs in a good deal less pain than her ascent the night before.

She was bright and breezy and had real vitality about her such as I had not seen in her before, she was so alive, so vibrant, and she was smiling!

“Harry?” she called as she headed for the kitchen, but I said nothing.

“Harry?” She called again as she entered the kitchen

“Where are you?”

I appeared suddenly in front of her.

“Oh” She exclaimed and jumped, then she laughed.

“I’m here” I said, “What’s all the noise about?”

“It’s enough to wake the dead” I said and smiled.

“Yes, very funny” She said and was smiling too.

I studied her face, it was a very pretty face when you removed the pain that was normally etched into it, what a difference from the night before.

It was nice to see the beauty of the person when the bitterness and pain were removed or at least masked temporarily.

The girl before me today was nothing like the one I had been observing for the past month.

It was clearly only a type of euphoria which would undoubtedly wear off.

“I hated you last night” She said looking straight into my eyes “Making me climb those stairs”

“But today I feel the best I’ve felt since before the accident”

She had not mentioned the accident before.

“I could kiss you” she continued.

“Well that would be lovely but there is nothing to kiss, you’d fall straight through me and head butt the cooker” I pointed out, so she blew me a kiss instead.

“I’m glad you are feeling better”

“I know that it won’t last all day but for now I feel terrific”  

“You’ll be dancing by Christmas” I said

“Don’t spoil it by talking about Christmas, I hate Christmas”

“Why?”

“I will tell you another time I don’t want anything to spoil my mood”

 

The pain did return later that day though not as severe and the next morning the bitterness was back and for the rest of the month she did battle with her demons,

Julie had good days and bad days but overall the demons won.

She still kept herself to herself only leaving the house for physio appointments, which were paying dividends, and her only visitors were delivering one thing or another.

The majority of her time was spent on the computer which she used for her work, something involving pages and pages of gobbledygook, and as her window on the world, a world in which she did not have to participate but could merely be a spectator.

Unless she called on me I chose my moments to appear trying to gauge the right time in between her black moods.

It was while Julie was on the computer, on one of her good days that I chose to show myself.

She was ordering her groceries online when I dropped in.

“Don’t forget the sweets for Halloween” I said

“Oh God not Halloween” She replied.

“Don’t tell me you hate Halloween as well”

“Of course, I hate Halloween, why wouldn’t I, all those ghastly trick or treaters begging door to door”

She was bordering on rant mode and I was beginning to think I had picked the wrong time to call.

“Then there are the implied threats of violence and vandalism”

I looked at her and raised my eyebrows and she stopped and laughed

“You’re such a happy soul” I said

“Well why do you like it then?”

“I don’t really”

“So why do you want me to buy sweets? Did Rose like it? is that why?”

Neither Rose nor I were fans of Halloween before we moved to Appleby, but it was just part of living in the village.

The thing about Rose is that she was a community person and being part of the community was important to her.

We liked the way it was done, it was so different from our past experience, all the children would meet at the church hall and would go around in small groups each group being accompanied by adults, then they would all go back to the village hall and have a party with all the traditional Halloween games and there were prizes for the best costumes.

“No not exactly” I didn’t elaborate.

“You’re so odd” She said and turned back towards her computer.

“I was mean to them last year” I blurted.

“Who?”

“The children, I wasn’t very nice to them” I confessed and looked down at the floor

“I think I made one little girl cry”

“Oh”

“I feel ashamed of my behaviour, Rose would have been so mad”

“Well there’s nothing you can do about it now” She said.

“Hopefully the kids will remember their bad experience and not come knocking this year, so no sweets required”

She punctuated the end of the sentence with an Oliver Hardy style nod, then she smiled and got up and headed towards the bathroom.

I moved over to the computer I looked at the screen and observed that she was at the checkout.

Due to much practise, after all, it’s not as if I have anything else to do, I had mastered moving and manipulating things over the preceding weeks.

So, I sat down and took hold of the mouse, I quickly returned to where Julie had been shopping and found a large tub of Halloween sweets and clicked quantity required 2 and then “add to basket”, then returned her to the check out just as I heard the toilet flush.

I went and sat down again feeling rather pleased with myself, I was not totally unfamiliar with computers, but I had never shopped on line, but I had watched Julie enough times to pick up what to do.

When she returned she completed her shopping transaction and was none the wiser.

 

The next day when the shopping arrived, the driver unloaded the bags onto the step and Julie signed for the delivery and the driver left.

It was only after she had carried the bags into the kitchen and began to unpack them that she noticed the 2 large tubs of Halloween candy.

“HARRY!” she shouted and thumped one of the tubs onto the counter.

“HARRY!”

“You bellowed milady”

“Was this you?” she said pointing at the sweets.

“You ordered them after all” I said acting surprised “That’s really sweet”

“No, I did NOT” She corrected me.

“Well it wasn’t me” I said “I wouldn’t know how, you must have done it subconsciously”

“I am not the sort of person who would buy sweets for the little….”

I interrupted her

“Well obviously subconsciously you’re a very nice person” I said and disappeared.

 

I stayed out of her way for the next couple of days and I spent my time practising, I had mastered the fine manipulations such as flicking switches, unfolding a handkerchief and picking up a pen, I could even write, though my handwriting was still a bit shaky.

What I wasn’t very good at was moving large or heavy objects, so I was in the back garden trying to move the wheelbarrow, unfortunately when I eventually succeeded in moving it I managed to frighten a passing dog walker who was startled by the sight of a wheelbarrow moving along the path under its own power. 

So, I went indoors, where I found Julie was sat in her chair reading some documents, I was considering whether it was safe to appear when I noticed the tubs of sweets were stood on a chair next to the door in readiness for the evenings visitors.

I knew that beneath that thick veneer of bitterness and cynicism there resided a good human being.

I deduced that the fact that the sweets were now sitting on a chair and not in the dustbin meant that she was in one of her brighter moods.

I decided I would appear but that I wouldn’t mention the sweets just to be on the safe side.

“Hello”

She looks up from her papers then set them on the table in front of her.

“So, you’ve decided to show yourself”

“What do you mean? I’ve been busy” I said feigning an indignant attitude.

“Just because I’m dead doesn’t mean I don’t have demands on my time”

“Yes, I saw you playing with the wheelbarrow”

“So, did Mary Rudd” I said sheepishly

“Who’s Mary Rudd?”

“Retired postmistress”

“And she saw you?” She asked smiling.

“No, she saw a self-propelled wheelbarrow, she’s probably having a large gin to recover as we speak” he said, and she was laughing now.

“Has anyone else seen you?” Julie asked.

“No and I only revealed myself to you because….”

“You thought I was going to top myself”

“Yes”

“I hope you think better of me now?” she asked, and I nodded.

“I do have low moments, and the world is a shitty place, but on the whole, I prefer life”

“I wish you’d start living it then” I said

“What do you mean?”

“If you prefer life why don’t you go out into the world and live it” I suggested

“You’re just jealous that I’m still alive and not dead like you” She said viciously

“No, you’re not dead you’re alive but you’re not living”

“You live your life though a computer screen” I continued

“You never meet people, you never interact with other human beings, you have everything delivered to your door”

She was about to interrupt but I pressed on before she had the chance.

“And if you could cut your own hair you would never see anyone at all”

“I have physio” she corrected me

“And what happens when you don’t need that anymore?” I said, and she snatched up her papers and scowled.

“I don’t need life tips from a ghost” she snapped, spitting out the words like venom, then she turned her back on me.

“Please don’t do what I did, don’t imprison yourself in this cottage” I pleaded but she ignored me, she was angry with me but not as angry as I was at myself.

I blew it, I pushed too hard and she pushed back, I could have got my point across with more subtlety, I was making progress but now I’d gone backwards.

Uncanny Tales – (005) – Chapter 01 – The House Guest at Chestnut Cottage

 

Chestnut Cottage is a rather quaint Tudor thatched dwelling with its white walls and black oak timbers, its rose covered lych-gate and a wishing well in the garden.

It is very much the stereo typical “chocolate box” image of an English country cottage.

It’s a fairly remote cottage situated at the end of Vicarage Lane some half a mile from the Church and about a mile from Appleby village itself.

My name is Harry Tyler and I lived in the cottage for more than twenty years and by the time summer came to an end I had been in residence another eight months after I died.

Not in a physical sense, my body did not lie undiscovered, decomposing in my armchair, I was found and dealt with in the proper manner.

At the time I was happy enough to die, though I took no hand in it I hasten to add, I died of natural causes.

The last year of my life was a mere existence after the death of my dear wife Rose.

We had no children of our own and what other family that were left we were not close to.

Rose and I had been happily married for 47 years and we retired to Appleby village and we had such a nice life together.

She was my conduit to the world, she was the interface that connected me to people, so after she was gone it was like being stranded in a foreign land without a translator.

To find myself alone in the world at the age of seventy-four filled me with dread so I withdrew into the safety of the cottage and became very reclusive and only ventured out when I had to.

So, when I died I naturally thought I would be reunited with my Rose again, but I remained in the cottage and she was nowhere to be found.

I spent every day confined to the cottage and garden the same prison I confined myself to before I died.

In many ways it was no difference to when I was alive except I didn’t have to eat or drink.

Nor did I have to wash or comb my hair or trim my beard and of course I didn’t feel anything.

I was exactly as I was when I died, a fat, old man with white hair and a beard, wearing the same clothes I had on when I breathed my last.

I hoped to God I didn’t have to spend eternity wearing that awful red jumper, I hated that jumper and the only reason I was wearing it at all was that my favourite one was still damp, and I didn’t want to catch a chill.

If I had realised I was going to pop my clogs anyway I would have worn the other one.

So, there I stood a fat white bearded old man wearing a red sweater that made me look like an off-duty Santa Claus.

I didn’t understand why I was still there, I didn’t want to be there I wanted to be with Rose.

I thought there must be something I had to do in order that I could move on, but at that time I had no idea what that something might have been.

 

On the first of September I thought to myself, today is not like any other day, today things are going to change.

I was standing in what used to be the bedroom Rose and I shared, and I was looking out through the window at the unfolding scene below.

A removal truck had just come to a stop in the lane and a small blue car parked a suitable distance behind it.

The driver of the of the car slowly got out and walked towards the gate, pausing briefly to speak to the removal men who were lowering the tail board, then she walked through the gate and down the long winding path.

She was an attractive young woman, late twenties or probably early thirties, petite with shoulder length black hair that shimmered with a hint of blue like a raven’s wing and she walked awkwardly with a stick in her right hand.

I recognised her at once, as one of fifteen or so prospective buyers who viewed the cottage during the summer.

I thought to myself that it would be nice to have company, even if there would be no conversation, it would be a bit like watching a soap opera on TV.

I would have preferred it to be a man; after all spying on a young woman would make me feel a bit like a peeping Tom, but I figured that beggars can’t be choosers.

Then as I watched her slow progress down the path something terrible occurred to me what if she was one of those awful naturist types who go about the house naked, where would I look?

Then I laughed at the stupid question I had asked myself, it was obvious where I would look, I might be dead, but I was still a man.

 

So, I watched her discreetly over the next week or so as she went about her unpacking and arranging her furniture, but due to my gentlemanly disposition I declared her bedroom and the bathroom as off limits.

As I was in my ninth month of limbo I was desperate for knowledge of the wider world and I was bitterly disappointed that she didn’t have a television, I really missed the TV and she didn’t listen to the radio either.

I had hoped she might at least take a daily paper but no, the only paper to come through the door was the local freebie.

She did have a computer and I did look-over her shoulder while she was using it, very rude I know and under normal circumstance I would never have done such a thing, but I thought to myself, needs must.

By the end of September, the computer had taught me a lot, I had established that her name was Juliana Molesworth and she was a workaholic who lived on the computer, in fact the computer was her life, it was her work, she shopped on it, she banked on it, it was her library, it was her music collection and it was her only friend.

Apart from her visits for physiotherapy she never went out and her only visitors were delivery people, oh and a hairdresser.

This young woman was making the same mistake that I had, she was cutting herself off from the world and making the cottage her prison.

Though I didn’t know why she was withdrawing from the world I now knew what I had to do to move on, I had to save Juliana from my own fate.

 

I know that strictly speaking as I was dead I couldn’t actually live with her, but after living with Juliana for five weeks it had become clear that she had gone to Chestnut Cottage to cut herself off from the world and I knew from bitter experience that that course of action was pure folly.

So, it became clear to me that my job was to show her the error of her ways, but I had absolutely no idea how I would achieve that.

For a start I was dead and invisible, although I could make myself visible without any difficulty, the problem was not if I could make her see me, but when and how, and would it make her freak out.

If she didn’t freak out at having a resident ghost, then she almost certainly would when she discovered she had been sharing the cottage with an old man who could make himself invisible.

I decided for the mean time to just maintain a watching brief just to keep an eye on her until I could figure out the best course of action.

I did allow her the odd glimpse, a reflection in a mirror, a shape in the corner of her eye just to test her nerve, but she seemed un-phased by it or would dismiss it with a shrug.

She seemed at least on the surface anyway, to be quite a strong character she was clearly in a lot of pain from her hip, for which she took strong pain killers. 

Juliana got around some of the day without her stick but towards the end of the day she couldn’t walk without it and she would rub her hip and you could see the pain etched into her face, and it was a pretty face when it wasn’t screwed up in pain, and she had hypnotic green eyes and a sensual mouth.

 

It was getting towards the end of the month and I was out in the garden, it had been a glorious late summer / early autumn day, the sun would have felt quite warm had I been able to feel it, and I was watching the sun set as I had so many times with Rose.

I missed her so much and I was feeling sorry for myself, so I stayed until the sun disappeared behind the trees then I went back inside.

Juliana was sat perched on the edge of an armchair and in front of her on the coffee table was a large glass of wine and a pile of pain killers, and I feared the worse as I sat in the empty armchair opposite her, to my mind booze and pills meant only one thing.

Her hand was shaking as it moved towards the tablets.

“Don’t do it” I said

“What?”

She looked around the room.

“Who said that?”

“I did” I said as I appeared, and she went stiff and white in response and said in alarm

“Where did you come from? How did you get in here? get out before I call the police”

Then she grabbed the empty pill bottle and threw it at me, but it went straight through my chest and hit the back of the chair before bouncing back on to the floor and came to a halt by her feet, by which time she had managed to pull herself to her feet and was wielding her cane, but when she saw the pill bottle come to a stop by her feet she flopped down into the chair and said.

“Damn I’ve taken too many and now I’m hallucinating”

“You’re not hallucinating” I said quietly “I’m really here”

“No, No, that’s not possible” She said and drained the wine glass then instantly refilled it.

“I’ve over dosed” She was trembling, and she held out a hand in front of her and watched it shake.

“Oh God now I’ve got the tremors” She closed her eyes tight for half a minute then opened them and stared at me.

“And you’re still here”

“You’re really not hallucinating” I said quietly “I’m really here, please don’t take your own life”

She took a double take and was suddenly calmer as she considered what I had said.

“Take my own life?” she said quizzically, then she glanced down at the pile of pills and the glass of wine.

“I’m not going to kill myself” she said, and I looked at her and nodded and said “good” but I didn’t believe her, and she could tell.

“I tipped them out to count them because my leg is hurting so bad I thought I must have missed taking one, but I haven’t damn it, and I can’t have another one for two hours” She said impatiently.

That made sense to me, and then I felt foolish and I had exposed myself for nothing.

“I can see you believe me now” She said, “So now tell me who you are or what you are?”

“My name is Harry Tyler”

“I know that name this was your house wasn’t it?”

“Yes”

“But you’re dead, you died here” She said and took a large gulp of wine “Are you a ghost or an angel?”

“I think I’m just a ghost, I haven’t been anywhere to become an angel”

“So why are you here? Why haven’t you gone to where dead people go?” she said before she drained her glass and filled it again quickly.

“I not really sure” I lied

There was silence for a few moments before she asked

“Is there a heaven?”

“I don’t know if there is a heaven or not, I’ve always believed that there was” I replied and paused for a moment

“My wife Rose died in this cottage and she has obviously gone somewhere”

“God how many people have died here? Is it cursed or something?” She asked and had another glug of wine, then a look of panic came over her face.

“Have you been here all the time, ever since I moved in I mean?” Then she flushed deep red.

“You haven’t been letching at me in the bath?”

I laughed and said.

“No, it’s alright don’t worry, I haven’t been letching at you even though you are a very attractive young woman”

She looked doubtful, so I continued.

“I am painfully aware that this is not my home anymore and as such there are areas that I have made off limits, I am a very discreet ghost”

She sighed and looked reassured and then we sat in silence for a while, then she fell asleep in the armchair.

 

For the next two days I didn’t show myself to her, partly because I thought it might be better for her to digest the knowledge of my existence for a while before I spoke to her again and partly because I was angry at myself for misreading the situation the previous evening and alerting her to my presence unnecessarily.

I had acted on the spur of the moment, but in truth it hadn’t upset my plans in anyway, chiefly because I didn’t have a plan to upset.

Of course, there was always the possibility she might think she had imagined the whole thing as a result of the wine and painkillers.

I looked in on her from time to time and apart from the obvious signs of a hangover and her limp she seemed ok.

Although she did tend to suddenly look over her shoulder for no apparent reason.

Tuesday, 1 December 2020

Uncanny Christmas Tales – (002) The Girl in The Christmas Dress

Steve Berry had always had a dislike for Christmas, despite all the jollity and faux fun, because unlike many of his Christmas mad friends he had no happy Christmas memories to anesthetise him against the season.

His parents were alcoholics and each year their Christmas came in a bottle and thanks to his father, Steve’s came with a slap.

So, his childhood Christmases were memories he would rather have forgotten, but as he grew up he found that adulthood brought no relief and it always seemed to him that when shit happened at that time of the year, Christmas just magnified the misery.

For example, if someone dies at Christmas the very season makes it more keenly felt.

He could testify to that from personal experience, as his mother died on Christmas Eve when he was only 19.

He has no idea where his father was and quite frankly, he didn’t care, he never showed up for the funeral and he could have been dead as well for all he knew.

So as a result, he has never trusted Christmas, because he knows that horror lurks beneath the coloured lights, tinsel, and paper chains.

That was until Holly Davis opened his eyes to new possibilities and he realised that Christmas could also magnify joy.

 

He had found himself working behind the bar in her Uncle Phil’s pub, the Pig and Whistle.

He was still uncertain quite how she managed to affect that, but affect it she did and during the ten days working for her she had turned his life upside down and it culminated on Christmas Eve with him wishing her a Merry Christmas at closing time and kissing her.

Judging by the way Holly responded Steve hoped that kiss on Christmas Eve might have been the start of something but alas for him it didn’t lead anywhere.

Holly had indeed responded to his advance and in fact had been hoping for it, but she knew it was far too soon to throw caution to the wind.

There were scabs as yet unpicked regarding Steve Berry that needed to be attended to before she completely let down her guard.

Holly considered him to be a work in progress and she thought he had potential, but he still needed work however there was certainly hope for him.

 

The other event that occurred on Christmas Eve was a prolonged snowfall which resulted in them being snowed in.

Holly was due to go to lunch at her cousin’s house on Christmas Day but as she lived 30 miles away and it was not possible to make the journey safely with the amount of snow that was laying.

Steve was due to spend the day alone not celebrating Christmas at all, but Holly invited him to spend the day with her instead as he hadn’t risked driving home the night before.

He would have been quite happy to have slept on one of the bench seats in the lounge bar as he had once before, but Holly insisted, he use the spare room.

So that was how Steve Berry came to celebrate his first ever Christmas and why he was sitting at the bar on Christmas morning nursing a cup of coffee in the same clothes he had been wearing the night before.

“Morning” he said as she appeared behind the bar

“Happy Christmas” Holly said and reached over and kissed his cheek.

Now it was not the kiss he was hoping for and it was not possessed of the passion that accompanied the embrace of the night before but that simple peck on the cheek held within it, hope.

“God its cold in here” she said

“Yes, there was a power cut during the night, and it knocked the boiler out” he said

“I’ve relit it, but it’ll take a while to warm up”

“This was not the Christmas day I had in mind” Holly said putting the collar of her dressing gown up

“Nor me” he added

She was supposed to be dining on a sumptuous feast at her cousin’s house, while he was supposed to be in self-imposed exile at his flat.

“Do you want a drink?” he asked

“Oh yes please” she replied, and Steve got up and went to the kitchen returning a few minutes later with a steaming mug of tea

“Thanks hon” she said and winced at her involuntary over familiarization and quickly went on

“I don’t know what we are going to eat today” Holly said

“We will need to ferret in the freezer”

“I didn’t know ferret was traditional Christmas fare” Steve said

“You know what I mean” she said, “Can you cook?”

“A bit” he replied

“Good because I’m rubbish” Holly admitted

Steve actually undersold himself when he said he could cook a bit, he could in fact cook very well, exceptionally well.

 

Steve not being a traditionalist, or a fan of the season could certainly make something out of what was on hand in the kitchen.

Holly however wanted to have a roast lunch, with all the trimmings, but after they checked the freezer, they had to rule out a roast dinner as the joints would never have defrosted in time, but there were alternatives.

The fresh vegetable stores were limited but more than sufficient for two people.

Although she couldn’t cook herself Holly was determined to help firstly by peeling the potatoes and carrots and then by getting out of his way so he could get on by taking herself off upstairs to get ready for the day.

 

While Holly was gone Steve finished preparing the food and he was pleased that he had achieved something to suit Holly’s traditional wishes at least in part.

He had just reached the point where he could safely leave the kitchen and get showered and shaved when Holly reappeared, and he was stopped in his tracks.

She looked stunning, her mousy hair, washed and styled was adorned with Christmas slides and she was wearing a white wool dress decorated with poinsettias.

And her shapely legs were covered by black tights with motifs of bows and parcels.

As he looked at her, he thought to himself that he’d like them to be stockings rather than tights, but nice legs were nice legs regardless of what they were sheathed in.

“Wow” Steve exclaimed

“Wow” he repeated, and Holly blushed

“It’s a Christmas dress you know” she said

“I don’t care” he said

“But you don’t like Christmas”

“It’s growing on me”

“Good” she said “you won’t mind wearing this then”

“When would he ever learn” He asked himself as he now had to wear another blessed Christmas sweater.

“Where do you keep getting them from?” he asked

“They’re Uncle Phil’s” she replied “I buy him one every year”

“I’ve never seen Phil in a Christmas jumper” Steve said

“No nor have I” Holly agreed

 

Steve went upstairs, showered, and shaved, and returned to find Holly had laid a table in the lounge bar, complete with festive serviettes, candles, party poppers and crackers.

On the CD player the Puppini Sisters were in full voice and his natural aversion to Christmas music was tempered by the fact he caught Holly singing and dancing along with the music.

He stayed out of sight in the doorway so he could enjoy the spectacle as long as possible but when she eventually became aware of him, she blushed redder than the poinsettias on her dress.

“How long have you been standing there?” she said suddenly flustered and began fussing with the table.

“Long enough” Steve replied

“You should have said something” Holly said as she headed towards the kitchen

“What and spoil the show” he replied as he followed close behind

 

Holly carried on with the table while Steve checked the oven and ten minutes later, he was transferring everything to serving dishes which Holly took to the table.

All he had left to do was make the gravy and get the Yorkshire puddings out of the oven.

Christmas dinner was as traditional as he could manage given the limits of the provisions available.

It was Holly’s turn to say “Wow” as he served Chicken breast wrapped in bacon, served with Roast potatoes, roast parsnips, carrots, peas, stuffing, and Yorkshire pudding.

“What no starters” Holly said tongue in cheek as she lit the candles and Steve opened the wine, then they pulled the crackers and she made him wear a paper hat.

For dessert he served apple pie and ice cream after which they watched the Queens speech and as soon as the speech was over Holly switched off the TV

“What now?” he asked

“Now we sit and talk” She replied

“You mean “talk?”” Steve said

“Yes”

“Do we have to” He said

“How are we supposed to learn about each other if we don’t talk?”

Holly replied

“So, what do you want to know?” he said resignedly

“Your childhood” Holly said with great interest

“What about it?” he replied

“Well, it’s not just Christmas that was unhappy was it?”

“No, it wasn’t” he replied, and Holly settled back to let him unburden himself

“It wasn’t just Christmas, it was Easter, Halloween, birthdays and New Year’s” he elaborated and paused to take a drink

“You see my parents were alcoholics, when I was young they managed to somehow keep it under control but once I got to school age I pretty much raised myself, which is how I came to learn to cook because if I didn’t cook I didn’t eat”

They had spent a very pleasant Christmas day together, snowed in at the pub, and the last thing he wanted to do was regurgitate the unpleasant moments of his life, particularly as he had been doing his best to forget them, but once he started he couldn’t stop and by the end of it he was exhausted as they sat in the gathering darkness.

Holly was largely quiet throughout and just added the odd word of encouragement and support.

But it was Holly who broke the short period of silence.

“How do you feel?”

“Surprisingly good” he responded

 

Despite his feeling unburdened there was an awkward silence, so Steve disappeared down to the kitchen to make them a snack.

He wondered if he should have held back and if he had unnerved Holly with his honesty.

When he had finished with the snack, he put it on a tray and carried it upstairs to the lounge where Holly greeted his arrival with a smile.

 

“God that was good” Holly said after consuming his offering with relish

“Every cloud has a silver lining” he said referring to the reason he learned to cook,

“There is always a positive” Holly said “you just have to look for it”

“Well that’s what I plan to do” he said and cleared the plates away

“I’ll pour us another drink” He said

 

When he returned, she was sitting with a Christmas present on her lap and she was smiling broadly.

“Happy Christmas” she said as she handed him the gift

“What’s this?” he asked

“Well open it and find out” Holly answered

“I wasn’t expecting a present” he said

Steve sat down and squeezed the package

“Oh no not another Christmas sweater” he said, and Holly giggled as he tore the paper open, but when he had removed all the paper and unfolded its contents, he saw it was indeed a sweater but not a novelty Christmas garment but was plain blue cashmere.

“That’s fantastic” he said enthusiastically “I love it 

“Try it on then” Holly insisted and stood up and took hold of the blue cashmere while Steve removed the Christmas jumper he was wearing and then they swapped.

As Steve pulled the cashmere over his head Holly held the novelty one, he had just removed, up to her nose and inhaled his scent.

“That looks great” she said when it was on

“It feels it” he said, “can I keep it on?”

“Yes” she said and held the other one to her breast

He walked over to the tree and plunged his hand in between the branches which was perhaps testament to the progress that he had made over such a short period of time that he had actually bought her a present, which he removed from its hiding place and said

“Happy Christmas”

“When did you put that there?” she asked

“This morning” Steve replied

Holly ripped the paper off like a mad woman until she was left with a little blue presentation box embossed with gold relief. 

She looked at it in wide eyed wonder, it was jewelry, and from a quality jeweler.

She took a deep breath and then opened it and she gasped.

“It’s lovely” she said as she took it out the box and held the gold pendant in her hand.

It was in the shape of a holly leaf with her name engraved on it.

“I love it” she said “put it on for me”

Steve took the pendant from her and when Holly turned her back to him, she reached back and scooped her hair out of the way while he fastened it, then she rushed over to the mirror, stood on her tiptoes and looked at herself and admired the pendant.

“I really love it” Holly said and let out a squeal and then for the second day running they ended the day with a passionate kiss.