Snippets of Downshire Life – Holy Week – Palm Sunday

 

The Finchbottom Vale nestles comfortably between the Ancient Dancingdean Forest to the south and the rolling Pepperstock Hills in the north, and to the east 15 miles inland from Sharpington-By-Sea, equidistant between the seaside resort and Pepperstock Green was the rambling village of Brookley and at its heart was St Mildred’s Church.

The villager’s spiritual needs were met by its vicar Rev Cecil Payne who lived at the adjacent vicarage with his wife Lily and their six unmarried daughters, Chrissie, Daniela, Hazel, Heather, Katie and Elise.

Cecil and Lily loved their children very much but as they reached the time in their lives when they were nearing their sixties and they had expectations for their daughters.

For Lily her hopes involved the grandchildren that were not forthcoming whereas Cecil just wanted them to spread their wings, but as Easter loomed, there was no sign of either of them getting their wish, but the power of prayer was a wonderful thing and both parents prayed for their daughters. 

The eldest of whom was 32-year-old Chrissie and the only reason she was unattached was that the object of her affections was the Curate, Graham Parker, and he was painfully shy and was seemingly blind to her advances or more likely unable to act on his feelings.

But with Easter looming large she was determined to snag her man before Holy Week, she just didn’t know exactly how.

But then on Palm Sunday she got some divine inspiration during the service when a supplicant stumbled in church and Graham reached out an arm and prevented her from falling and then helped her to her pew.

However, her first emotion was not one of inspiration, it was a feeling of overwhelming ill will towards the congregant and intense jealousy because her man had his arm around the stupid clumsy woman.

But then after a brief prayer for forgiveness for her lapse of decorum in Gods house an idea began to germinate and by the end of the service it was fully formed.

 

When the service was over it was Chrissie’s job to return the hymn books to the shelf on the back of the pew, pick up the hassock’s in preparation for the cleaners and to collect any discarded personal items and take them to the vestry.

Graham’s role as Curate meant that he would be outside the church with the vicar, talking with parishioners, after which he would himself go to the vestry to secure the church valuables to the safe.

It was in the vestry where Chrissie intended to put her plan into effect.

 

After finishing her work, she loitered about in the shadows until the congregation had finally dispersed before she emerged but her strategy almost failed before it began when her father called from the door

“Come along Christine, lunch is waiting”

“Ok Dad I’m nearly done, you go on ahead and I’ll catch you up” she replied

“Alright” he responded and after listening to his footsteps recede she proceeded to the vestry to find her quarry.

She was suddenly very excited and almost broke into a run with her red hair flowing behind her, she just hoped he would still be there when she reached the vestry.

Chrissie stopped outside the door and took a deep breath before she opened it.

As she pushed the door open she was relieved when she caught sight of him and he was stood by the closet putting his coat on

“Hi Graham, still here?” she said and he instantly blushed and looked at the floor.

“Erm hello”

Chrissie smiled because she had seen him standing in the pulpit and hold the attention of the entire congregation but in her presence, he could barely string a sentence together.

He buttoned his coat and without looking up he walked towards the door which was the very moment she made her move and she timed it to perfection.

Just as he passed her she pretended to stumble and just as he had with the congregant at the service he reached out an arm and caught her just as she had hoped he would.

Chrissie was a few inches taller than Graham even in flat shoes so she made her move and quickly got the better of him and using his own weight against him deposited him on the nearest chair and quickly parked herself on his lap where she proceeded to kiss him, and as she had been so desperate to taste his lips she thought it might have been an anti-climax, and when at first he went rigid she feared the worst but he gradually relaxed and when she let him come up for air she said

“You see that wasn’t so bad”

And he clearly agreed because he kissed her, and that was the long-awaited kiss she had imagined and when it was over she added

“And it’s even better when you join in”

That Palm Sunday may have marked the end of his shyness but the long-awaited kiss in the vestry was the beginning of a love that lasted into their golden years.  

 

THE WORLD IS A COLD AND EMPTY PLACE

 

The world is a cold and empty place

Devoid of beauty

When you fall out of love

Colder and emptier still

When someone else

Falls out of love with you

GRIEF HITS LIKE AN IRON FIST

 

Grief hits like an iron fist

Cloaked in a velvet glove

But grief is the ultimate price

We all have to pay for love

IN EVERY CORNER OF MY MIND

 

In every corner of my mind

An endless moment lives

Burnt into my memory

Glowing like an ember

That won’t die

tormenting and taunting

A loop of reminiscence

Constantly reminding me

Of the fateful moment

That I let you go

I HAD HIGH HOPES OF YOU

I had high hopes of you

But you let me down

You turned out to be inconsistent

Shifting like the desert dunes

And I can see clearly that you’re

Undependable and feckless

With feet of clay

I wasted too much time

Trying to get you to commit

I can only liken it

Too trying to nail jelly to a tree.

Snippets of Downshire Life – World Theatre Day

 

The Pepperstock Hills National Park stretched from the bare, and often barren crags of Oxley Ridge in the North to the dense wooded southern slopes on the fringe of the Finchbottom Vale and from Quarry Hill, and the Pits in the West to Pepperstock Bay in the East.

It is an area of stark contrasts and attracted a variety of visitors.

The quarry hill side of the park to the west, as the name suggests, was heavily Quarried over several hundred years, though more extensively during the industrial revolution, the Quarries had been un-worked for over fifty years and nature had reclaimed them and former pits had become lakes and were very popular with anglers and the sparse shrubbery and woodland made it popular spot with courting couples whereas the northern crags and fells were popular with climbers and more hardy folk.

To the south and east was an extensive tract of magnificent mixed forestry and was rivalled only by the ancient woodland of the Dancingdean Forest, which is where the village of Pepperstock Green was situated, and two of the residents were second year students Shermaine Mahoney and Matti Leinonen who both attended Finchbottom College, albeit on different Courses.

They were casual acquaintances, the fact they were from the same village and on the same college course was purely coincidental, although she had appeared on his radar, but he very much doubted if he was on hers.

Most days they travelled home straight after College, sometimes at the same time, sometimes separately, but occasionally they would stay in Finchbottom for some reason or other, such as at the end of March, which was World Theatre Day.

In order to mark the occasion, the college were given a fair number of complimentary tickets for various theatre in the town, which were distributed among the students on a first come first served basis.

Matti wasn’t particularly interested in the theatre, but his friend Harry got a couple of tickets for the Finchbottom Playhouse.

“It’s not my thing” Matti said “And you won’t even tell me what the play is”

“Oh, come on” Harry urged “It’ll be a laugh”

“So, it’s a comedy then?”

“Come with me and find out” Harry said so he reluctantly agreed

“How bad could it be” he said to himself

 

After they left college they went into town and ate at a burger bar before walking to the Playhouse and when they got there he realized just how bad it could be, and it was really bad, it was opera, but not Puccini or Verdi, he could have coped with that, he could even have coped with Gilbert and Sullivan.

But no, it was none of them, it was modern opera, about the 1980’s Minors Strike.

“I thought you said it would be a laugh?” Matti said when he saw the posters

“It will be” Harry assured him

 

Harry was wrong, it was not fun, and at the interval Matti said

“I can’t sit through any more of this shit”

And he left Harry and his protestations in his wake and headed straight to the railway station.

 

On route it began to rain so he stepped up the pace and he had his collar up and his head down when he reached the entrance of Finchbottom station and ran straight into another passenger trying to escape the rain and they both ended up on their backsides.

“I’m so sorry” he said getting quickly to his feet and proffered a hand to his prostrate victim, which was when he discovered that his victim was Shermaine Mahoney.

“Nonsense, I wasn’t looking where I was going, my mind was elsewhere” she replied as she took his hand

“Mine too” he said “are you ok? Are you hurt?”

“Only my pride” she replied

They dusted themselves off, figuratively speaking, and there was a brief moment of silence.

“Are you heading back to the village too?” he asked redundantly

“Yes” she replied and looked at her watch “but we just missed our train, there’s another in half an hour”

“Shall we get a coffee then?” he suggested

 

They were sitting in a café on the main concourse at a table in the window when she asked

“So, what’ve you been up to tonight?”

“I’ve been through hell” he replied

“Bad date?”

“Worse than that” he said

“Oh, do elaborate” she urged

 “I’ve been to the playhouse Theatre watching a very bad opera about Geordie miners” he said “if they’d been Welsh miners they might have been more musical” 

“Yorkshire” she said

“What?”

“They were Yorkshire miners” she replied “According to the program”

“You were there too?”

“I was” she replied “I was dragged there by Mandy”

“And you bailed too?” he asked and laughed

“I said I had a Migraine” she said and winced

“I feel guilty, but I just had to get out of there before I got one for real”

They were still laughing five minutes later when there was a station announcement about their train.

“We’d better go” she said

“Ok” he agreed

 

They had just got outside when Shermaine froze like a rabbit caught in the headlights

“What’s wrong?”  he asked

“It’s Mandy” she replied and pointed “Over there”

Matti looked where she was pointing and spotted Harry a few paces behind her.

“Oh no there’s Harry too” he said 

“Come on” she said and took him by the hand and led him at speed across the concourse and into the far corner

“They won’t see us in here” she said and opened the door to the disabled toilet.

“Well it looks like we’ve missed another train” he said

“I guess so” Shermaine said and then she took him completely by surprise and kissed him, however a surprise it may have been, but unwelcome it was not, and she knew that immediately by the way he responded to her kiss, so as a result it went on longer than she first intended when the notion came into her head to capitalise on the situation.

“Well that’s been a long time coming” she said when she eventually came up for air “I’m sorry I had to pounce but I got tired of waiting for you to make a move”

“I’m not complaining” he said “but I didn’t think I stood a chance”

“I guessed that, which is why I needed to take drastic actions” she said “Which is why I had to deliberately knock you on your arse and drag you into a toilet”

“I’m glad you did” he said and then it was time for him to kiss her

“Come on” she said “or we’ll miss the last train”

“Ok” he agreed, and they slipped out of the disabled toilet and on to the concourse and they walked hand in hand across to their platform.

“You know when I left the Playhouse I thought it had been a waste of an evening” he said

“And what do you think now?” she asked

“I would say that it hasn’t been a complete waste” he replied “Only the first half”

“Good answer” she said and stopped to kiss him

The Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa – Holy Week – Lazarus Saturday

 

The beautiful Downshire village of Clerembeax St Giles was situated to the west of Abbeyvale located between Grace Hill and Bushy Down and on the outskirts was the Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa.

It was once the home The Clerembeax’s, who arrived in Downshire following the Norman conquests and stayed for a thousand years before the name died out following the death of the reclusive Marcus Clerembeax at the age of 96.

The current owner was Yvonne Labuschagne, who decided to open it as a Hotel and Spa.

The Spa was a good attraction, but it was crucial for them to maintain a high occupancy rate, however things were tough in the Hotel trade with the success of Travelodge, Premier Inn and Holiday Inn Express and so places like the Palace needed to offer something extra to attract the guests, apart from the Spa. 

So, they put on novelty weekends, such as “Murder Mysteries” and in addition, they had a sizable Ballroom which was used for special occasions, high days and holidays, which boosted occupancy and Spa numbers at the same time.

But it was necessary to offer guests as wide a range of activities as possible during their stay, to attract them in the first place, and hopefully to come back.

But some guests came back time and time again in pursuit of entirely different activities.

One such visitor was Carole Went, who was a very lustful Lady, an eye-catching cougar who doused herself in heavy musk and went on the prowl.

She was a woman on the wrong side of forty who was still a woman full of desire, with the looks and the confidence to get what she wanted.

She was outrageously flirty and was exotic, erotic, earthy and dirty, and swung both ways in order to get satisfaction.

Carole preferred to cast her net on nights when there was either a function on in the ballroom, or a stag do or hen night, when she knew she could play the percentages to ensnare her prey.

 

Carole walked into the bar looking for someone to satisfy her desire and the bar was full of randy young men on a stag weekend and on that night, she chose a young man twenty years her junior called Tony, to satisfy her urges.

Lustful Carole took him to her room and used him and abused him and extracted every ounce of pleasure from him until he was a spent force.

 

She awoke in the early hours and sighed before congratulating herself on a job well done and lay there for about twenty minutes before she sat up and sat on the bed watching him, rerunning the earlier events through her head, subconsciously selecting those specific moments that were most memorable.

As he stirred Carole wondered if he would do the same when he was awake and what moments they would be.

Tony opened his eyes and looked at her watching him and then she pulled the blanket off him and said

“I hope you’re ready to go again”