Thursday, 1 April 2021

Snippets of Downshire Life – Holy Week – Good Friday

The Finchbottom Vale nestles comfortably between the Ancient Dancingdean Forest to the south and the rolling Pepperstock Hills in the north, and to the east 15 miles inland from Sharpington-By-Sea, equidistant between the seaside resort and Pepperstock Green was the rambling village of Brookley and at its heart was St Mildred’s Church.

The villager’s spiritual needs were met by its vicar Rev Cecil Payne who lived at the adjacent vicarage with his wife Lily and their six unmarried daughters, Chrissie, Daniela, Hazel, Heather, Katie and Elise.

Cecil and Lily loved their children very much but as they reached the time in their lives when they were nearing their sixties and they had expectations for their daughters.

For Lily her hopes involved the grandchildren that were not forthcoming whereas Cecil just wanted them to spread their wings, but as Easter loomed, there was no sign of either of them getting their wish, but the power of prayer was a wonderful thing and both parents prayed for their daughters. 

They would perhaps have been slightly encouraged by the fact that the second eldest of the brood, Daniela, already had someone in her sights, and that was George Parnait, the verger.

She had been carrying a torch for him since Christmas, but she hadn’t made any progress, despite the fact that she had volunteered for every church event, meeting and service that she knew he would be at.

Daniela was well placed to do that because she was employed by the church in an administration role and one of her duties was to manage the schedules and rotas and she cherry picked the dates to match those of George, it was unethical and unprofessional, but she reconciled it that with the fact that it was in a good cause.

 

On Good Friday they were to be working together preparing for the service.

It was an important day in the church calendar and could either be at noon or in the evening but at St Mildred’s it was the latter.

Which meant they had all day to get ready and she had arranged it that way as it was important for her to have him to herself for most of it.

 

On the morning of Good Friday, she was in the family bathroom at the vicarage making the final adjustments to her appearance and she was at the mirror pinning the final errant strands of hair into place.

Her straight honey blonde hair was tied in bun at the back, but she always wore a fringe.

When she worked in the office she normally often wore gold rimmed half-moon spectacles, but they were only for reading and she often just peered over the top of them rather than keep taking them off.

But there was no need for them in the church so as she stood before the mirror there was nothing obscuring her pleasant unblemished face, a face that turned to pretty when she smiled.

Daniela stepped backwards so she could get a better look at the rest of her.

The Blue patterned dress with contrasting navy collar and cuffs was tailored to fit and defined her figure exquisitely.

She turned sideways to get another view and scanned herself from top to bottom.

She was not unhappy with the overall appearance, she was a little broader in the beam than she would have liked, her legs were good, she liked her legs even in thick black tights and sensible shoes they were nice.

“Not bad” she said and nodded at her reflection to acknowledge she had passed muster.

  

“Not a bad looking woman eh?” she was thinking as she walked across to church, then she frowned, “so why am I still living at home?”

She often wondered that, the problem was when she worked at the church and worked so hard in the Church community she found it difficult to have a social life and meet new people who weren’t already part of her church family.

But though she often wondered why she was alone she wasn’t unhappy, she didn’t feel diminished by her circumstances, and would have remained content had it not been for the arrival in the village of the new Verger.

However, her mother was not content with her and her sisters remaining unattached and unwed and kept telling her and her older sister that their biological clocks were ticking.

 

But she was not interested in George Parnait because of her mother’s nagging or a feeling that she was in a race against time she really wanted him, and she hadn’t felt like that since she was still at school.

So, she had woken that morning in a particularly determined frame of mind, so she said to herself

“Well if you’re going to do something, do it today”

 

As she entered the Church the just after 8 am she found it was a hive of industry, with a team of parishioners, among other things, dusting, polishing and mopping, 

Emily Sanders, who she worked with in the office gestured her over

“Morning” she said

“Hi Emily” she said and handed her a folder “here is the list of who’s doing what, I’m going to work with George to unpack the paraments”

“I thought you might be” Emily said and giggled which made Daniela blush and made Emily giggle again.

 

 

 

 

All though Daniela had mentioned paraments specifically, on Good Friday it is preferable that there are no paraments, banners, flowers, or decorations except, for a representation of the way of the cross.

The Lord's table, pulpit, and other furnishings, normally adorned, were to be bare of cloth, candles, and anything not actually used in the service.

Her next move was to win George over with her carefully rehearsed charm offensive and she found him standing by the dais, he was a tall upright man a few years her senior with slightly thinning hair and the beginnings of a paunch, and when he turned around she noticed that in his arms he carried, the baby Jesus.

And her charm offensive fell at the first hurdle when she exclaimed

“Why are you holding the Christ child? We are supposed to be depicting the way to Golgotha, not the nativity”

“We have the wrong boxes or at least one wrong box” he replied

“Oh no” Daniela winced “What are we missing?”

“The cloths” he replied

The cloths were crucial to the Good Friday service, as the cross was to remain visible, but the figure on it and all the other permanently fixed images of Christ had to be veiled by scarlet coloured cloth as by partly concealing the cross, the veil also calls attention to it.

“Well that won’t do” she said and took out her mobile phone and walked to one side.

She was phoning Wellham Farm, where the church rented one of the Wellham Barns as a storage facility.

It was about four miles from the village and they stored a variety of things there, Santa’s Grotto, all the stalls for Fete’s and Bazaars, processional items, the nativity scene and costumes of all shapes sizes and uses.

 

Five minutes later she returned to find George still cradling the divine infant.

“They’ve found the missing box” she announced and smiled when she noticed he was still holding the babe “it’s at Wellham Barns”.

“Great give me directions and I’ll go and get it”

Daniela was about to agree and then she remembered the other item on her agenda, so she relied

“You’ll never find it with my directions, we’ll both go, you can drive and I’ll nav”

“Suits me”

“That’s settled then, now pop the little fella back in his box, and well return him to the stable” she said and laughed at her joke

 

The journey to the farm was a quiet one, on Georges part because he was trying to take in as many landmarks as he could which he would remember for next time and for Daniela because her mind went blank.

Once they reached the farm George got the errant box from the boot while she went in search of its replacement.

 

Sam Wellham, who managed the storage side of the farms business handed Daniela the advice notes, one for the box that they were taking and one for the box they had returned, then she handed it back and said goodbye as she got back into the car.

 

On the return journey she was struggling to find a way to start the conversation which she hoped would lead to him asking her out, but she drew a blank but then George suddenly asked.

“So, are you involved in the Holy Saturday Vigil?”

“No, no I’m not” she replied with relief and added hopefully “I’m free all day”

“What about you?” she added already knowing the answer as she had made sure they were both off.

“No, I’m spending the day with my son” he replied proudly

“Your son?”

“Yes, Kevin”

“I didn’t know you had a son, how old?” she asked

“He’s eleven”

“He doesn’t live with you then?” she said

“No, he’s staying with my Parents in Purplemere” he explained

“Not with his mum?” she asked wondering where she might be lurking

“His mum died last year” he replied sadly “A car accident”

“I’m sorry” she said and then waited for him to unburdened himself with the tale about the accident.

She had been for a birthday treat to Tipton Spa with her sister and were on the way home.

The accident happened just as the sun was setting behind them and a car came around the bend on the wrong side of the road and hit them head on.

The car rolled several times and ended up on its side in a ditch.

“That’s awful” she said

“The two of them and the other driver died instantly” he said and after a brief pause he added

“I blame myself of course”

“That’s silly” she said

“Is it?” George contradicted her “I bought her that Spa break”

“You feel guilty because you lived, but that isn’t the same thing as blame” she insisted

“Just guilt then?” he asked
“Yes” she said “and that’s in the past, you have your son and he is the present and the future”

“What kind of future without his mother?” he said bitterly

“The future has infinite possibilities, but the past is only ever the past” Daniela said

“That’s very profound” he said

“What for a Vicars daughter you mean?” she said

“No, I mean it, it was very profound” he said and gave the weakest of smiles

“Well I’m very deep” she said

“So why is he living with your parents?” she asked “He must miss you”

“I miss him too, but we thought it best if he stayed at the same school with all his friends until they break for the summer holidays then he’ll be starting big school and he’ll be the new boy along with everybody else”

“Do you talk to him about his mum?” she asked, and he nodded

“All the time”

“That’s precious”

“Yes, it is” he responded positively

“You’re a very positive person Daniela” he said

“Well I do always look for a positive in any situation” she said, and he thought for a moment before he responded

“Well if it hadn’t been for the wrong box being delivered to the church and our having to drive to Wellham to swap it we wouldn’t have had this chance to talk, so that’s something of a positive”

“There you are then” Daniella said

 

When they got to the St Mildred’s he parked the car and retrieved the box from the boot but before they reached the Church steps he said

“I really enjoyed our little mission today, and as I’m not driving to Purplemere until the morning, I was wondering if you’d like to go for a meal after the service, if you don’t have already have plans that is”  

“I’d like that very much” she replied “I’ll have to go home and change first, but yes that would be lovely”

 

Well the operation hadn’t gone according to plan in anyway shape or form, but the outcome was much better than she could possibly have imagined

“Thank you, God, for your divine intervention” she said to herself and smiled.

 


Wednesday, 31 March 2021

DISH OF THE DAY – JENNIFER

 

Jennifer, Jennifer

A savoury dish

Made in her mother’s image

To her mother’s recipe

Just younger and fresher

A very delicate dish

Skin cool white

Pale then lips

Eyes eager and expressive

Plump of breast

Round rumped

Slender limbed

Tender loined

Succulent and moist

Very definitely

A perfect starter

WHEN I WALKED INTO THE ROOM I SAW HER

 

When I walked into the room

I saw her, wearing her favourite

Fleecy dressing gown

Curled up in the big armchair

Her little feet tucked beneath her

And she was hugging a cushion

Almost as big as she

Her tiny frame

Was almost lost

In the overstuffed chair

And instantly an unabated

Wave of love washed over me

And I immediately wanted her

 

She was such a scrawny little thing

Barely a hundred pounds

Soaking wet

And I had seen her that way

Many times

But I loved her totally

With every fibre of my being

We had been married

For ten years now

And still she excited me

Making love to her was electric

It was like being plugged into the national grid

From the first time to the last

She was just the sexiest girl I’d ever seen

 

I stood over her

And stared down at her

For the longest time

She was sleeping so soundly

I didn’t really want to wake her

I should have let her sleep

But she would not have thanked me

In fact, she would have been miffed

So, I knelt beside her

And roused her gently

And as she stirred from her slumber

Her eyes opened and then widened

When she saw me

And she smiled me that come to bed smile

“I waited up for you

Because I’m feeling fruity”

So, my sexy girl was roused and aroused

So, I took her in my arms

And carried her to bed

PRETTY GIRL ON A BICYCLE # 3

Pretty Girl on a bicycle

In a low-cut top

Whose baps almost popped out

I didn’t think they’d stop

 

They were such nice ones

And they were just there

So, what else could I do

Except stand and stare

 

It was only a brief delight

Which I thought would suffice

She smiled and shook her head

As she saw me say “very nice”

Then she rode up the road

But was back in a trice 

Snippets of Downshire Life – Holy Week – Maundy Thursday

The Finchbottom Vale nestles comfortably between the Ancient Dancingdean Forest to the south and the rolling Pepperstock Hills in the north, and to the east 15 miles inland from Sharpington-By-Sea, equidistant between the seaside resort and Pepperstock Green was the rambling village of Brookley and at its heart was St Mildred’s Church.

The villager’s spiritual needs were met by its vicar Rev Cecil Payne who lived at the adjacent vicarage with his wife Lily and their six unmarried daughters, Chrissie, Daniela, Hazel, Heather, Katie and Elise.

Cecil and Lily loved their children very much but as they reached the time in their lives when they were nearing their sixties and they had expectations for their daughters.

For Lily her hopes involved the grandchildren that were not forthcoming whereas Cecil just wanted them to spread their wings, but as Easter loomed, there was no sign of either of them getting their wish, but the power of prayer was a wonderful thing and both parents prayed for their daughters. 

The sweetest of whom was 20-year-old Heather and the reason she was unattached was that she wasn’t sure that there was anyone worthy enough for her give up her good works for.

She was a shining girl, intelligent but not academically so, but she was inclined towards an unquenchable sense of public duty.

Not that she didn’t occasionally take time out to look for “the one” but she failed to locate him on the occasions when she did.

She was arguably the prettiest of the Payne girls, in fact Heather was very attractive but not showily so, very feminine, brunette and petite, and everyone who knew her was surprised that she had never had a steady boyfriend and since the time in year ten at school when she bloomed she had run the gauntlet of well-meaning friends, throwing what they considered to be suitable candidates in her path, but she side stepped them all.

There was something special in her nature, a simple goodness, she believed in goodness and not surprisingly, everlasting life and of course good and evil.

 

The problem with finding “the one” was that she was too fussy, apart from him needing to be tall and dark, “the one” needed to meet her usual criteria, handsome, kind, loving and be true of heart.

But in addition, she was searching for someone with a moral compass, a practicing Christian naturally, a church goer at least occasionally, though not someone permanently on their knees, a devout man but not a pious one.

She wanted a man who was worldly but not tainted, attractive but not vain, masculine but possessed of modesty.

A man with good dress sense, free of tattoos and body piercings, well mannered, and gentlemanly, definitely not someone who drank from a bottle.

However, with every passing week Heather had become convinced she was looking for someone who didn’t really exist.

 

At the beginning of Lent a new Choirmaster, Robert Perry, arrived at St Mildred’s from nearby Sharpington after their existing music director had a heart attack, and over the following weeks she realised that he met most, if not all, of her criteria, plus he was blessed with great kindness, a quality in her opinion unfailingly, underappreciated in the modern world, which was a quality that she had not bargained for.

But she soon dismissed him as a prospect and cleared him off her radar, firstly because he was seven years older than her, although that in itself was not a deal breaker, but he also spent a lot of time away from the village and was quite secretive about where he went.

 

Robert too was searching, he was searching for a woman who shared his faith and who put others before themselves, a good woman and he had sought her all of his life and he had met several possible contenders over the years, not unsurprisingly given the fact that he was a significant member of the church and well respected among the ecclesiastical music field, but the ones who caught his eye always fell short of his ideals, so he ended up

walking the righteous path alone.

He found several members of the choir met his criteria

and none more so than Heather but that did not influence his decision to give her the solo at the Easter service.

From the moment he arrived at St Mildred’s it was obvious she was the go to girl when it was time for a soloist he could rely on, and her work ethic was exceptional, and he pushed her to her limits which each additional performance.

 

But as Easter approached they had to intensify the rehearsals, as at the beginning of Holy week, her sister Hazel, who was also the church organist, tripped down the church steps and broke her arm.

Hazel was a very accomplished musician, and it took a couple of days phoning around the county to find someone of a decent enough standard to fill her shoes.

But even though they found someone relatively quickly and of a suitable standard they still lost two days rehearsal which was time that had to be made up.

Everyone involved gave total commitment and worked diligently to make up for lost time and when it got the evening of Maundy Thursday there was only Heather’s Good Friday solo that they had to polish, neither her or Robert were in the best of moods as neither of them had intended to still be practicing that late into Holy week and they both had somewhere else they needed to be, and they didn’t want to be late.

Robert made them even later when he insisted on her doing it one more time, and he did that because he became mesmerised by her angelic voice and was struck for the first time by the fact that not only did she sound like an angel, but she looked like one as well.

However, stand in Organist Harry Paul called a halt to proceedings when Robert asked to go again.

“I don’t think that’s necessary, it’s getting late and you can’t improve on perfection”

“No, you’re quite right” he agreed with his eyes still fixed on Heather

“Oh no” she said looking at her watch “Look at the time”

“Somewhere to be?” Robert asked

“Yes” she replied and put her coat on but didn’t elaborate.

He supposed she must have a date or something equally frivolous, and then he looked at his own watch.

“Oh, dear it is rather late” he said, “Do you have somewhere to be as well?” she asked as he put his own coat on

“Yes, I do” he replied, “and I particularly wanted to be there on time”

“Oh yes? What is it a new restaurant?” she asked

“Of a sort” he replied

“What about you?” Robert asked as they left the church “Do you have a date?”

“Certainly not” she said with afront “I have more important things to do with my time”

“Well I’ll see you tomorrow at the service” he said as he was digesting her answer

“Quite so” she agreed “I hope you make it on time”

“You too” he replied and walked to his car as she headed in the opposite direction to the Vicarage.

As she lived so close she was fed, showered, changed and on her way out the door before Robert had even reached his front door in Sharpington.  

When he did, he closed the door behind him and went straight to the kitchen and made himself a sandwich.

He ate it far too quickly to be good for him, in fact he was still chewing as he stepped into the shower and as he did so he knew he would have heartburn for the rest of the night.

He dried himself and dressed in warm clothes and was then on his way.

He drove into town and parked on the promenade and checked his watch as he hurriedly walked toward his destination, as he was twenty minutes late.  

He looked through the window and saw it was quite busy and a queue had formed so he walked around to the side door and walked in and undid his coat as he did he said

“I’m terribly sorry I’m so late I was unavoidably detained”

“Well they all say that” Heather said as she turned around and Robert smiled when he saw that it was his angel.

And at that moment they both realised that their mutual searches for “the one” had come to an end and it happened at the Sharpington soup kitchen.

Monday, 22 March 2021

PRETTY GIRL ON A BICYCLE # 2

 

Pretty Girl on a bicycle

In a summer dress

Leaning over the handlebars

To make better progress

When gravity intervened

As if in answer to a prayer

And presented to the viewer

The most perfect pair

DISH OF THE DAY – EMILY

 

Sweet, sweet Emily

My sweet confection

With Demerara skin

A honeyed morsel

Wrapped in white silk

 

Just visible beneath

Her pristine shirt

Tantalising the senses

Are the chocolate peaks

Of plump brown muffins

 

Sweet caramel delights

Perfectly formed

In provocative silhouette

To whet the appetite

Sweet, sweet Emily

My sweet confection

My favourite desert