Wednesday, 14 April 2021

HURT

 

When your heart

Has been broken

And stepped on

It leaves you hesitant

Reluctant to try

To give in once more

To open up To emotion

To dip your toe

Into the mire

Into the ocean

Of desire

To dip your toe

Into the ocean

Of unknown emotion

If you don't

Enter the water

You won’t get wet

There is no danger

Of being dragged under

Should you take a chance?

On love again

Throw caution to the wind

Open yourself up to the pain

Or the pleasure

Feel the love

Washing over you

Immersing yourself

The waves washing over you

It may drown you

If you do

If you resist the temptation

You will be safe

Unharmed in your segregation

Yet a single moment spent

In the refreshing waters

Stood on the ocean floor

Is worth a lifetime

Spent safely on the shore

CHOICE

 


She sat on an eternal shore, silent
Calm unexpressive face, still like granite
Contemplating her destiny, knowing
The path she chooses she must take alone
Upon the expected cross roads she came
It arrived suddenly, but then not so
The long awaited, long dreamed of moment
Choices when made can extend far beyond
Like ripples in the water from a stone
Inside herself she must look for the answer
A deep breath, a sigh and she plants her foot
Upon the chosen trail to who knows where
With confidence she sets off on her way
Has she made the right choice who can say?

 

GUARDIAN

 

She was only slight

And petite of height

Her complexion light

Her smile so bright

 

Her hair was brown

Her eyes looked down

She never wore a frown

But a halo for a crown

 

Her eyes were green

And her intellect keen

Her limbs lithe and lean

With the poise of a queen

 

An angel in human form

Protecting me from the storm

Her embrace both soft and warm

From despair I will transform

Snippets of Downshire Life – Getting Noticed

 

The village of Highfinch sits just on the edge of the Pepperstock Hills, and the Lily Green Hollows Golf Club separates the village from the Hamlet of Lily Green, and the combination of those two and Kingfisherbridge made up the parish of St Martins and an important part of the parish was the Greenwood Guesthouse owned and run by divorcee Janita Front.

She was a native of the village, as was her husband, and they started the Guesthouse together, but he did not share her passion for it, but he did have passions, but those were mainly for the female guests and it was with one of them that he chose to leave Highfinch and Janita.

Undeterred she divorced him and continued to run Greenwood alone and as she approached her forty seventh birthday she had been doing so for twenty years.

There had been men in her life over those twenty years, but none were worthy of her because they didn’t share her interest in the B & B or have the same work ethic as she did.

But there was one man who she hoped might fit the bill, plumber and handyman Andy Whiting, who was her go to guy for repairs and maintenance, the problem was he was a little backwards in coming forward, and she hadn’t been able to get his attention.

 

One morning in June she had to call him to Greenwood because the shower in her en suite bathroom wasn’t working but when he arrived he was his usual bashful self, so she went on about her morning, dealing with the guest’s breakfasts, which kept her busy for the next two hours and at the end of it she noticed Andy coming down the stairs, so she went to intercept him.

“All done?” she asked brightly

“I’m afraid not” he replied “I just need to go and get a new pump”

“Oh, ok I’ll see you later then?” she said

“Yes, I shouldn’t be too long” he replied and went out the door.

 

When the guesthouse was busy, which was pretty much all the time, Janita employed two local girls to clean the rooms and the common areas, so with them gainfully employed, breakfast finished with and Andy off at the plumber’s merchants she had a couple of hours to spare before she had to think about lunch, so she decided to go and have a bath in the guest bathroom as her own was out of commission.

She had told the girls what she was doing so she knew she wouldn’t be disturbed and she had a long hot soak in the tub.

She really enjoyed it, but she knew she couldn’t stay in there forever, so she pulled the plug out and got to her feet, before stepping out and wrapping a fluffy white bath sheet around herself and wrapped a smaller one around her head.

 

Once she was dry, perfumed and powdered she wiped the steam off the full-length mirror and then loosened the towel wrapped around her and stood with her arms outstretched and the towel stretched behind her like a victory flag and admired herself in the mirror

“Not bad for an old bird” she said to her reflexion “Not too bad at all”

And then the door opened and startled her, and she turned towards the door, still with her arms out stretched with her full nakedness on display, to find Andy Whiting stood in the doorway with his mouth open.

Janita was not as surprised as he was, and she knew she should probably have covered herself, but he just stood staring at her and was clearly struggling to draw his eyes away, and she liked that.

“I appeared to have got his attention at last” she thought and then he said,

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t think, washer… tap… drip…”

And then he closed the door and headed hurriedly across the landing, so she covered herself and opened the door and could hear him repeating

“Sorry, sorry, I’m so sorry” Until he reached the sanctuary of her bedroom, and by extension her en suite.

 

Janita replaced her towel with a towelling bath robe and crossed the landing and was smiling broadly to herself.

She slowly opened the door and stepped in and found the room empty, but she could hear muttering and what she assumed was the sound of him putting his tools away, so she just stood her ground and waited, and she didn’t have to wait long.

He stepped through the door from her en suite and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her.

 “IIIII’m…” he started to say but she put a finger up to her lips gesturing him to silence, and then she undid the belt of her robe and it fell open briefly before she dropped the toweling dressing gown to the floor revealing her dry, perfumed and powdered nakedness, before she walked towards him and kissed him, and he made no protest.

 

CRUEL WORLD

 

My tears ran like autumn rain

When cupids love was slain

In my heart there was only pain

I turn my back upon the world

 

My world was shattered

When I lost all that mattered

And my dreams were scattered

I turn my back upon the world

 

My heart has been broken

Her love for me was only token

All her promises now forsaken

I turn my back upon the world

 

The loss of my hearts desire

Cold embers where once was fire

To love again I can only aspire

I turn my back upon the world

 

But with head high I went forward

Feeling not a little awkward

And I found my just reward

When I went again into the world

 

Though my love ended in tears

It’s never as dark as it appears

I’ve put aside my darkest Fears

And I must go again out into the world

 

Now back from the brink of madness

With only distant memories of Sadness

My heart no resounds in gladness

Now I’m back again into the world

WHERE, WHEN AND HOW?

 

Where did it go?
The sense of one
Feeling of togetherness
Of mutuality, symbiosis
Thinking each other’s thoughts
A consciousness shared
Breathing in unison
A single beating heart
Speaking in a single voice

When did it happen?
At what point?
Did we separate?
Torn asunder
Split like an atom
Dissected like conjoined twins
To Breath alone
Stop sharing one heart
Speak for ourselves

How could it be?
When I looked at her with love
A stranger looked back
Independent and solo
Individual and free
Thinking on a different plain
Breathing different air
Heart pulsing with a different beat
Speaking a foreign tongue

IN THE COMPANY OF ANGELS

 

If I am the first to go

I will wait for you in the place

Where the crowns of Angels glow

 

If I go first because I lost the fight

I will be waiting with the Father

Where the tunnel opens into light

 

If I am the first one there

I will await you in lush meadows

Where heady perfume fills the air

 

If I go first and leave you lonely

We will meet again in paradise

In our loved ones company

 

If I am the first to go, allay your fears

I will be waiting in the place

Where there are no more tears

 

If I go before you and we must part

I will wait for you in heaven

Where sweet music soothes the heart

 

If I am first to go we will meet again

In a far better place than this

Where God has banished pain

 

If I go first through the eternal door

You will find me with the angels

Where suffering is no more

 

If I am first to go by days or years

You will find me waiting there

Far beyond this vale of tears