Friday, 7 May 2021

I NEVER EVER TOLD YOU

 

I fell in love with you

When you were eight, I was eight too

You had no front teeth

And you were freckled and chubby too

I loved you

But I never ever told you

 

I didn’t love you

Because of how you looked you see

I loved you because

Of what I could see inside, deeply

 I loved you

But I never ever told you

 

I couldn’t help loving you

I loved you irresistibly

I hid my feelings

Loving you in secret and invisibly

I loved you

But I never ever told you

 

When you were thirteen

You changed overnight from pupae

And transformed

Magically into a beautiful butterfly

I loved you

But I never ever told you

 

Had the ugly duckling

Still been here today

I would have swept you up

And carried you away

I love you

But I will never ever tell you

I will keep my love locked away

But I will love you

Until my dying day

THAT FIRST TIME

That first time

Long ago

When your hand

Slipped into mine

I felt instantly at peace

And when I looked down

At our interlocking hands

I was unable to detect a join

They were as one

When first we kissed

And we held each other tightly

We never wanted to part

When first we embraced

In that burning passionate embrace

Our hearts and souls joined

They are joined still

Thursday, 6 May 2021

The Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa – PTA

 

The beautiful Downshire village of Clerembeax St Giles was situated to the west of Abbeyvale located between Grace Hill and Bushy Down and on the outskirts was the Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa which had become very important to the lives of those living in the village community with St Giles’ Church at its hub.

It was a busy village with all the usual amenities you would expect, in addition to St Giles’ Church there was a village Hall, and primary school of the same name.

There was also the Trinity Methodists Church, two pubs, Étienne of Normandy and the Saracen and Stephenson’s General store which included an off-license, newsagents and Post Office.

 

Barry Little was Deputy Head Teacher at the village school and always walked to and from work, and on the way home he liked to call in at Stephenson’s, to see someone special.

The General Store was run by Ilyas Patel, although it was his young wife Anjuli and her Aunt Shula who did all the work, along with a few additional staff.

Barry didn’t like Ilyas, he was a surly old goat, old enough to be Anjuli’s father in fact he was old enough to be Barry’s father, who spent most of his time sat on his arse watching cricket.

He thought his wife and her Aunt were both lovely though, Anjuli was ten years younger than him, and her aunt was ten years older.

They were both tall and slim with thick black hair with big almost black eyes and huge toothy smiles, which lit up the whole shop if not the village.

But as much as he liked the Patel ladies, it was not them that he was hoping to see, that privilege fell to the mother of one of his pupils, and PTA member, Shannon Smith, who he loved to distraction, unfortunately she was already married to someone else.

It all began with some harmless flirtation, he would flirt outrageously with her and she would flirt back, but then one day as she handed him some sliced ham, she let go of the package before he had hold of it properly in his grip and as they both reached to recover it their hands touched and he thought it was like a mild electricity passing between them, and he could tell by her expression that she felt it too.

 

There were many such momentary touches and they were always accompanied by the same tingling sensation but other than the flirting and brush of fingertip on hand nothing ever came of it because she was not free.

Also, it was all tacit, nothing had been said, no feelings had been expressed, and he had wanted to make it plain to her, and not just flirt and accidentally caress her hand.

 

So, on one day when she was alone in the shop and there were no prying eyes, and as they were in a CCTV blind spot, he blatantly held her hand in his and caressed the back of it with the other, he would have liked to kiss her too, but he knew that was going too far.

You’re not free, so I can’t say that I love you” he said

“I know” she gasped 

“But it’s true nonetheless”

“I know that too” she replied quietly

“And I would kiss you if I could, but I know I can’t, so you will have to imagine me doing it instead, until I can”

“I do that every day” She replied and squeezed his hand and would not have relinquished it if another customer hadn’t entered the shop.

So, their intimate moment had passed until another day.

THE FIRST TIME

 

The first time I took her hand

It trembled faintly

Yet noticeably

Like a wild bird fluttering heart

In the hand of its captor

The first time I kissed her

Her heart raced

And when I touched her skin

I felt her pounding heart

Through my fingers

The first time we made love

Was the first time

For us both

And in our passionate embraces

Our senses were overloaded

The first time

Became many times

Though we are older now

The passion is stronger

Our senses fine-tuned

We are one, soul mates

We share the same shadow    

UNWELCOME NEWS

 

At once she understood

When she heard the words

Their meaning clear

And in that instant

Her voice broke

And then in her throat

A lump formed

Behind her eyes

She felt the stinging

And a tear formed

Then rolled down her cheek

Followed by another

Then another

The salt taste was in her mouth

Her shoulders shook

Uncontrollably

And her mouth opened wide

But know sound escaped

Tears continued down her cheeks

And her nose

Then her legs buckled

And she fell to her knees

In total despair

Now the sound came

Uncontrollable

With her love lost

Her heart was broken

With her love betrayed

Her heart was discarded

But with all the weeping

She knew inside

That all her tears

Would never extinguish her love

REFRESHED

 

Laughter rings now

In the once empty caverns

Of my heart

Sweet wine now

Replaces the bitter brew

Which once coursed

Through narrow streams

My senses once dulled by time

Are now sharp, concise

Vision like an eagle soaring

Able to hear the beat

Of a hummingbird’s wings

Nostrils filled with exotic scent

Heady and cloying

Exquisite tastes tantalize

An unsophisticated palate

And the reason

For my transformation

My metamorphosis

Is an angel

Earthbound

Who has energized an old man

Invigorated my senses

She has re-awakened me

Stirred my soul

But she will never know

Must never know

How she has affected me

I will view her from a distance

And exchange polite greetings

A warm smile, A familiar nod

I will keep my own council

And I will feel contentment

My love unrequited

Wednesday, 5 May 2021

Snippets of Downshire Life – Dawn Chorus

The Pepperstock Hills National Park stretched from the bare and often barren crags of Oxley Ridge in the North to the dense wooded southern slopes on the fringe of the Finchbottom Vale and from Quarry Hill, and the Pits in the West to Pepperstock Bay in the East.

It is an area of stark contrasts and attracted a variety of visitors.

The Quarry Hill side of the park to the west, as the name suggests, was heavily Quarried over several hundred years, though more extensively during the industrial revolution, the Quarries had been un-worked for over fifty years and nature had reclaimed them and the former pits had become lakes and were very popular with anglers and the sparse shrubbery and woodland made it a popular spot with courting couples whereas the northern crags and fells were popular with climbers and the more hardy folk.

To the south and east was an extensive tract of magnificent mixed forestry and was rivalled only by the ancient woodland of the Dancingdean Forest, which was where Paul McConnell lived in the village of Springwater.

 

He wasn’t a native of Springwater and only moved to the village when he took the post of tree surgeon with the Forestry Commission, which he loved, but in addition he had two other loves in his life, one was bird watching while the other was Dawn Fowle, and the irony of the latter’s name was not lost on him.

 

Springwater was a perfect location to fulfil his love of bird watching however his love for her was not so perfect as she was with another man, her husband Mick, and she was not free for him to claim, even though her husband was cruel and uncaring, she was still married to him.

However, he was hopeful he might win her away from Mick, as he was sure his feelings were reciprocated but after six months he was no nearer to his goal, so he planned an intervention.

 

Dawn was a Paramedic by profession, but when she wasn’t working she was often to be found volunteering as part of the Springwater Mountain Rescue Team.

It was his knowledge of her activities with the SMRT that would aid him in his pursuit of her heart.

 

The Pepperstock Hills National Park was very popular with climbers and walkers of all abilities so there were a number of Rescue   Stations in the hills which were permanently manned during the busiest times of the year, and two nights every fortnight she would take her turn with the first responders on the hill, and furthermore he knew when she would walk down the hill to the Mountain Rescue HQ in Springwater, and which route she would take.

The only thing he didn’t know for sure was whether she would be on her own when she walked through the woods at the end of her shift.

 

Paul McConnell was often up in the woods in the early hours of the day enjoying the full majesty of the Dawn Chorus, which was how he knew Dawn Fowle’s route and timetable.

He was enjoying the chilly morning, walking in the wood, listening to the wind stirring the canopy above his head and the cacophony of birdsong, but then he stopped suddenly in his tracks and his ears pricked up, and he smiled as his quarry was approaching and she was performing a Dawn Chorus of her own.

He clearly heard the pleasing melodic tones of her sweet voice, competing with the singing of the birds in the morning air.

 

# Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dear

Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
#

 

The voice definitely belonged to Dawn as she sang The Snow Patrol song, Run, though very much in the style of Leona Lewis, to every tree and critter.

He waited quietly in the shadows, and enjoyed the performance, so he kept quiet and listened, but as she passed him he stepped forward onto the path and said

“Morning songbird” and she jumped fully half a foot in the air and went as white as a sheet.

“Oh my God” she exclaimed “I nearly had a heart attack”

But then the colour returned to her cheeks and she roared with laughter, a laugh which was so infectious Paul was soon laughing along with him.

Their hearty laughter filled the air as they began to walk back to Springwater but after a few minutes she looked him up and down and said

“Aren’t you cold in shorts?”

“We “Woodsman” types are a hardy breed” he responded

“You don’t look very hardy” she lied as her eyes examined every inch of the muscular outdoorsman.

“I think you had better come to HQ with me and have a hot drink”

“Ok” he retorted “I bow to your superior knowledge and expertise in these matters and I put myself in your hands”

“I wish” she thought to herself

For the rest of the walk they chatted in the same casual, flirty manner that they normally did until they reached HQ.

It was located on the outskirts of Springwater and was they last bit of civilization before you entered the Park.

It was a moderately sized complex, which housed a café, and a shop where you could buy everything from tents, sleeping bags, clothing, and footwear, to Sandwiches and Kendal mint cake.

In addition, there was a manned first aid station and of course the Springwater Mountain Rescue HQ, where the team met or assembled and where they stored all their equipment.

 

The HQ was as he suspected it would be at that hour, deserted, which fitted nicely with the plan, but after that he would just have to wing it.

Dawn unlocked the door and let him in and he sat at the table in the kitchen area while she filled and boiled the kettle, and they chatted in much the same vein as they had on the walk and then Dawn put the drinks down on the table beside him.

“Thanks, that looks just the job” he said “it’s nice to see that you have more strings to your bow that early morning bird scaring”

“You cheeky sod” Dawn said as she stood beside him and tried to clip him round the ear.

He caught hold of her wrist however and pulled her on to his lap and kissed her slowly and sensually.

“I’ve wanted to do that for ages” he said

“You’ve wanted to compliment me on my tea making do you mean?” she asked

“Yes, that’s precisely what I meant” he said, “I think good manners are so important, don’t you?”

“Oh, very much so” she agreed “So do you think I might prevail upon you to snog me again?”

“My pleasure” he retorted

“And mine” she concurred and then they were kissing again.

There’s no way of knowing how long the kiss might have lasted, but they were interrupted by the sound of the door opening and a woman’s voice calling.

“Hello?”

Dawn jumped quickly to her feet and for some reason began rearranging her clothing to make sure that there was nothing untoward, and then she left the room

“Good morning Jacqui” she said, Jacqui was her sister in law and she worked at the First Aid Station next door, he assumed she had seen the lights on and decided to investigate.

After the initial “good morning” all he could hear were muffled voices, so he finished his tea and followed in Dawn’s footsteps.

“Are you going home to bed?” Jacqui asked and gave Paul a disdainful look

“Yes” Dawn replied “I’m going to drop Paul home first, and then I’ll get a few hours’ sleep before work”

Then almost as an afterthought Jacqui said

“What’s he doing here?”

“I found him on the hill dressed like that” Dawn replied

“What’s wrong with him? Is he mental?” Jacqui asked coldly

“He’s fine but if he’d stayed up there he could have suffered mild exposure” Dawn replied

“I can well imagine what he would have been exposing” she said with contempt “Bird watchers are very weird”

“I am here you know” Paul pointed out

Jacqui had appeared un-phased by Paul presence, but Dawn was a little uneasy and glanced at her watch

“Let’s get you in the car Paul” she said in her best patronizing professional paramedic voice.

She turned off the light and locked the door and Jacqui walked back towards the First Aid Station.

“See you later Jac”

As they reached her car she whispered

“Do you think she suspects anything?”

“Not for a second” he replied, “You were after all merely showing off your tea making expertise”

“No seriously” She said as she opened the driver’s door “Do You?”

“No” he said reassuringly and got in the car and she seemed satisfied with his answer and drove out of the car park, but she didn’t drive him home, instead she drove up to a little car park down in the valley popular with dog walkers and was chosen by her because the valley was still shrouded in mist, so they could sit in the car and not worry about being seen.

Dawn parked in a quiet corner out of view of the entrance and due to the mist out of sight of everyone.

Once they had come to a halt she switched off the engine and as she stared out into the mist she asked

“I have to know what it meant”

“What?”

“The kiss, did it mean what I think it means, or was it just a spur of the moment, take advantage of the situation kind of thing?”

“I don’t know what you think it meant” he replied, and she tensed before he added

“But for me it meant everything”

Now for the first time she turned to face him as he spoke

“I meant that I need you, I want you and I love you, and all that that entails” he continued “I want you to leave Mick and move in with me and eventually I want to marry you, is that what you thought it meant?”

“No” she replied “But it’s what I wanted it to mean”

And then they undid their seat belts and proceeded to kiss and this time there was no interruption.