I know you want to end it
But
don’t tell me at the hotel
Don’t
tell me at the café
I
know I won’t take it well
Don’t
tell me at the restaurant
Don’t
tell me by the pool
Don’t
tell me on the beach
Don’t
make me look a fool
You
can tell me in the ocean
And
realise all my fears
Tell
me as we swim in the sea
Then
you won’t see my tears
You are truly beautiful
But beauty is only skin deep
Isn’t that what they say?
Only skin deep?
But looking through my eyes
Who ever said those words
Would think that they
Now sound quite absurd
For to say of you
That beauty is just skin deep
Must stir the angels hearts
And make them weep
You are truly beautiful
To the core of your being
It’s not just your skin
That I am seeing
Your beauty emanates
From your soul,
Gracing every atom,
That makes the beautiful whole
From the marrow of your bones
It outwardly flows
So on your lustrous skin
Your beauty glows
Henry Beaumont was the only son of the 10th Earl of Dancingdean.
Henry
was a strong man, straight backed and powerful with a square jaw and chestnut
brown hair, a gifted scholar, sportsman and a natural horseman.
It
was early summer and Henry had just returned from Abbottsford University to
Dancingdean Hall, the family home overlooking Teardrop Lake.
His
lifelong friend, neighbour and fellow returnee Sebastian Blackburn lived next
door at Bridge House.
The
year was 1914 and they were on top of the world with a bright future ahead of
them and only 21 years behind them.
Little
did they know as they sailed on the picturesque waters of the lake that
glorious June, that their futures would start to unravel with the death of an
obscure minor royal of the Hapsburg dynasty on the 28th of that very
Month.
Sebastian
was destined for a career in his father’s bank and marriage to Lady Theresa
Edgson in the following year.
While
Henry was to be groomed to follow in his father’s footsteps, which would
culminate in his wearing the ermine in the House of Lords as the 11th
Earl of Dancingdean.
All
through the month of July they carried on with their lives, and the usual round
of social engagement totally oblivious to the treat of impending war.
Henry
even found time to fall in love.
The
object of his affections was Christine Turner a tall auburn haired girl with a
smiling freckled face, a sweet nature and a kind heart.
She
was three years older than him and she had been employed as his mother’s
companion for a year and a half.
And
he had been attracted to her for every single day of that year and a half but
she had always resisted his advances.
And
dismissed his feelings as mere infatuation but she filled his every waking
thought on his last year at University and when he was home it was her he
wanted to see first.
Christine
though was resolute in her opposition, month after month, even though she
shared his feelings.
But
on the balmy evening of the 3rd of July, when his father was staying
at his club and his mother had taken to her bed with the vapours, he kissed her
on the terrace and she reciprocated.
“We
shouldn’t be doing this” she said
“I
know” he whispered and kissed her again.
For
the remainder of that month he fulfilled all the social engagements he was
expected to attend so as not to arouse suspicion and then they would meet in
secret and snatch intimate moments wherever and whenever they could.
But
they told no one, because they could tell no one.
On
the first of August, the day on which Germany declared war on Russia, was also
the day that Henry made a declaration of his own.
It
was Christine’s day off and they had arranged a secret rendezvous up at Lovers
Leap, a rocky shelf that jutted out above the cliffs,
which were an extension of those that formed part of the northern side of
Teardrop Lake and formed the natural border between the Teardrop estate and the
Dancingdean Forest proper.
Lovers Leap was so called because it was where desperate and
broken hearted lovers would leap to their deaths although there was no evidence
that anyone actually had.
It was just a promontory that offered a stunning view, but it was a very rainy day so they met at
Dancingdean Folly instead.
The Folly was built by the 8th
Earl of Dancingdean who had it erected for himself, in the style of a Castle
Keep.
He was always prone to delusions of
Grandeur.
He had it erected on top of a hill and
then had the surrounding Forest cleared so everyone for miles around could see
his standard flying high from the turret.
The
scene was very different almost a hundred years later as the forest had begun
encroaching on the cleared land.
Henry
got there first and immediately took shelter and then waited anxiously in the
doorway for Christine to arrive.
He
had been up there for almost an hour and he was just beginning to think she
wasn’t coming when she appeared, running through the trees and straight into
his arms.
“I
thought you weren’t coming” he said
“Sorry
darling, your mother was being difficult” Christine explained and then she kissed
him.
She
and Henry ate their picnic sat on a tartan rug in the old Folly looking out at
the rain.
When
they had finished Henry refilled their glasses with champagne and as he raised
his glass in a toast he said
“Christine
Turner, will you marry me?”
Henry
waited expectantly for her answer but she looked down at the ground and said
nothing.
“I’m
not joking” he said “I love you and I want to marry you”
“I
love you too” she said “but I can’t marry you”
“Why
not?” he asked
“Because
you’re the next in line to the title and I’m a Lady’s companion” she explained
“But
I don’t care about that” Henry said taking her hand
“But
your father will, and your mother will, and so will all your friends” she said
“I
don’t want the title” he said “I only want you”
“But
what will we live on and where will we live?” Christine asked
“I
have some money left to me by grandfather and a small house in Abbottsford”
He
explained but she was still unmoved
“Its
madness” she said “you will be throwing away your future”
“I
have no future if it doesn’t include you” he said earnestly
She
thought for a moment then held his hand to her lips and said “Yes”
They
couldn’t tell anyone, Henry couldn’t even tell his best friend Sebastian, they
just continued to meet in secret and bide their time.
But
time was not a commodity they had in abundance.
A
point that was heavily underlined when Germany invaded Belgium and Britain
declared war.
Henry
was not a soldier either by nature or profession, he was a pacifist by ideology
and content to be so.
However
he and Sebastian enlisted at the earliest opportunity and joined the Downshire
Light Infantry.
They
were both commissioned as Lieutenants and reported immediately to the camp at
Nettlefield.
Henry
and Christine saw little of each other over the coming weeks and had to conduct
their love affair via the mail.
Their
engagement remained a secret and she had to wear her engagement ring on a chain
about her neck.
Which
she would kiss each night before she slept.
The
training at Nettlefield was intense and rigorous and was completed in under six
weeks and when the boys returned home on their pre-embarkation leave they were
resplendent in their uniforms.
When
they presented themselves to their respective fiancée’s they were viewed with a
mixture of pride and sadness.
Christine
broke down and cried when he told her he only had 4 days leave before he left
for France.
Henry’s
father, George’s reaction was slightly different.
“For
God’s sake boy you don’t have to go” he yelled “you are my heir”
“I
have to go” Henry replied
“No
you don not” his father argued
“I
have to go” Henry repeated
“Then
let me pull some strings and get you a staff post”
“No
father I don’t want any special treatment” he said
In
retrospect he should have said “ok pull your strings on condition that I can
marry Christine Turner”
But
he didn’t.
Sebastian
Blackburn allowed his father to pull strings on his behalf however, but not to
get out of the firing line, Seb wanted to marry Theresa before he left for
France.
So
a hastily arrange ceremony was performed at Olwen’s Chapel.
Olwen was an Anglo Saxon Lady who was
one of the early converts to Christianity but her pagan husband’s tribe would
not accept the new faith and she was forced to worship secretly in the forest.
Her chapel actually appeared to me
little more than an assortment of stones on the forest floor arranged around a
granite altar stone in a woodland clearing, the wooden structure long since
rotted away.
It had been rediscovered early in Queen
Victoria reign and had been lovingly maintained ever since by a local society.
So
on September 13th 1914, Sebastian Blackburn the tall, blonde, classically
handsome lieutenant with the dazzling blue eyes, wed the petite, dark haired
Theresa, she dressed in ivory silk, he in his dress uniform.
With
best man Henry by his side.
After
the reception Henry crept to Christine’s room and knocked lightly on her door.
She
opened the door in her night things
“What
are you doing here?” she whispered through the crack in the door
“I
just wanted to say that on my next leave you will be the bride” he said and
kissed her goodnight.
Three
days later they checked into the Railway Hotel in Abbeyvale as Mr and Mrs
Beauchamp on the eve of his regiment’s embarkation, when their love was made
manifest.
On
the platform of Abbeyvale station the next morning he saw her onto the
Shallowfield train and as he held her hand through the open window he said
“I
love you Christine and I promise we will be married when I return”
“Just
come home safe darling” she said as train pulled slowly out of the station.
He
stood on the platform looking on and waving until she was out of sight.
They
wrote to each other every few days over the weeks he was away, each letter more
heavily laden with romantic sentiment than its predecessor.
Even
when the First Battle of Ypres began on the 19th of October his
romantic fervour was not abated nor did it, by its end on the 22nd
of November and all through that winter it was his love for Christine that kept
him warm.
In
his letters to her he didn’t mention all the harshest realities of life in the
trenches and in return Christine didn’t burden him with the knowledge that she
was pregnant with his child.
As
winter faded into spring the conditions in Belgium had not improved and the
Second Battle of Ypres commenced in April and Christine was fast reaching the
point that it was going to be difficult to conceal a pregnancy in her Edwardian
outfits.
Then
on the 2nd of April her worst fears were realised when the telegraph
boy arrived at Dancingdean Hall.
The
telegram read
“We
regret to inform you that on the 29th of May Lt H G M Beaumont was
killed while trying to rescue a mortally wounded comrade from no man’s land”
Christine
hadn’t seen the boy arrive but was alerted to its contents when Lady
Dancingdean went hysterical and started throwing things around her room.
The
Earl was unable to calm her so he left her to Christine and dealt with the news
of his only son’s death by going out to the woods to shoot things.
Christine
wanted to scream out in grief at her loss but felt compelled to placate her
mistress instead.
That
afternoon however she was taken to the asylum in Pepperstock which she would
never leave.
George,
10th Earl of Dancingdean never returned from the woods either
because after he tired of shooting the wild life he turned the gun on himself.
That
evening as darkness fell so did Christine Turner’s mood.
She
sat in a leather chesterfield in George Beaumont’s study, a large glass of
brandy in one hand and the telegram in the other and tears streaming down her
cheeks.
Dancingdean
Hall was not the only recipient of the Telegram boy’s grim correspondence.
The
inhabitants of Bridge House were informed of Sebastian Blackburn’s death.
How
typical of the man she loved to risk his live to save his wounded friend.
Christine
fell into a black despair and could see no way out.
She
would soon be unemployed and as soon as the baby showed she would be
unemployable and she had lost the man she loved and the father of her child.
The
burden was too great to bear and so she drained her glass.
Her
heart was broken and there was no future for her and her lover’s child, weighed
down by grief in her heart and rocks in her pockets Christine walked onto the
terrace where she had first kissed Henry and then crossed the lawn from
Dancingdean Hall and jumped off the east cliff into the black lake below.
I kissed the girl
On an aeroplane
And on the airport bus
I kissed her once again
I kissed a girl
That I met in Spain
We met later that day
And we kissed again
I kissed the girl
With the long white train
And at the alter
I kissed her once again
When will I reach the main event?
I’m
tired of dainty canapés
I’ve
had too many hors d'oeuvres
They
are getting on my nerves
When
will I reach the Entrée?
When
will I meet the one I seek?
My
life long dining companion
Every morning, I watched you
As you got on the bus with graceful ease
You skirt just the wrong side of modest
Your blouse low cut to tease
I never knew your name
You were just the flirt in a skirt
My friend was obsessed by you
But although I could look at you with lust
You were not for me, not quite my cup of tea
I liked the quiet girl, two seats in front
Who got on and off the bus unnoticed
Except of course for me, I saw her
And I knew her name, and I married her
Over the years India Harris often thought back to that day in September when she went down to the boathouse and found Paul standing on the jetty looking out across the water.
She
remembered how it took her breath away because he was such a good looking man.
He
was tall and dark, well-tanned and lantern jawed.
And
she suddenly felt foolish, how could someone like him be interested in her and
she turned to walk away.
“Don’t
go” he called
“I
shouldn’t have come” she said
“Of
course you should” Paul said walking towards her
“No
I’m just making a fool of myself” India said and turned to go again
“But
I’ve been waiting for you” Paul said
“What?”
she asked
“I’ve
been waiting for you” he repeated only an arm’s length from her now
“Why?”
she asked
“Because
you’re the one” Paul said took hold of her
“I
am?” she asked
“Yes,
and I’ve been dreaming of the moment I could do this” he said and kissed her
gently
And
after that first nerve tingling kiss they were barely apart.
Afterwards
they slowly ambled their way to Rob and Sheryl Brown’s Anniversary party at the
Shallowfield Lodge and they were the last to arrive and when they walked in
holding hands every head turned to watch them, and the general consensus of
opinion was that it was about time.
With
the exception of her time at university India Harris had lived all of her
twenty six years on Teardrop Lake and she was a tall
tomboy of a girl with short dark hair and she generally wore baggy shorts and
equally baggy T-shirts and unfeminine foot wear.
But on the she day she kissed Paul on
the jetty she was a wearing girls clothes.
Paul
Spreadborough was convalescing at Chapel House, his sister Ellen’s home, on the
North Western side of Teardrop Lake, although in truth he spent most of his
time down at the boathouse, which his brother in law James had converted into a
Gym.
Paul
was transferred there from the Army hospital at the end of April.
The
reason for his convalescence was necessitated by a horrific accident while he
was serving as a Captain with the Downshire Light Infantry.
It
was ironic really as he had only just returned from a tour of duty in
Afghanistan completely unscathed only to be severely injured in a freak
helicopter crash during a training exercise on Salisbury plain, when he
suffered leg, hip and pelvic fractures.
But
much to his credit he had fought and battled his way back towards fitness, but
it would all be for nothing if he failed his medical which was only a few
months away.
India
had been helping Paul get back into shape, bike riding and swimming in the lake,
she was also required to keep him on a short leash and prevent him from over
doing it.
Falling
in love was not was not part of the arrangement for either party, but it
happened anyway.
But
despite having fallen in love with India his goal was still to pass his army medical
in November.
Failure
would mean, best case he’d be off active duty and worst case discharged
altogether.
Paul
was a driven man and his sister Ellen was concerned it might break him if he
failed.
The
army was his life and if he was discharged he would be devastated.
India
thought she was in a lose/lose situation, if he failed, he would be so
distraught, she might lose him.
But
if he passed his medical, then what?
Once
he passed his medical what would become of her?
Those were the questions that were
exercising India as they approached autumn.
It
was a couple of weeks after they first got together and India
was working at the Shallowfield Lodge Hotel as usual.
Her friend Penny had volunteered to do
the rooms upstairs on her own, so India was cleaning the downstairs.
They normally worked together but Penny
was quite sad that day and Indie could see she’d been crying.
Her boyfriend was an Artist and was
going to Australia for three months and he was leaving in just one weeks’ time.
So Pen really wanted to be alone, and
India understood that, after all her boyfriend might be going away soon as
well.
She had just finished hovering
reception when she saw Penny’s boyfriend Danny walk in through the front door.
He nodded in her direction and then
went and spoke to Sheryl Brown at the desk.
It was quite an animated conversation
which she couldn’t hear but it ended in a broad smile from Sheryl.
Danny said good bye to the proprietor
and headed towards India.
“Hi Indie” Danny said
“Hi” she replied “Penny’s upstairs,
I’ll just go and get her”
“No” he said “it’s you I’ve come to
see”
“Really? Why?” she asked suspiciously
hoping he wasn’t going to ask her out.
Not that she really thought there was
any likelihood of that, she knew that he was besotted with Penny, but you never
really knew with those arty farty types.
“I have something to tell you but I
have to swear you to secrecy first” he said mysteriously
“Ok I swear” she said now more
intrigued than worried
“I’m going to ask Penny to go to Australia
with me” Danny explained
India started squealing and jumping up
and down
“That’s amazing”
Then she stopped and looked at him with
a puzzled expression on her face.
“Why are you telling me first?”
“Because I need you to pick up some of
her shifts while she’s away” he said
“Is that all?” she said “consider it
done”
“Great but you mustn’t give anything
away” he said “it’s a secret remember”
“How long?” she said
“How long what?” he replied
“How long do I have to keep it secret?”
“I’m going to take her to lunch and ask
her then”
“Oh good, I can manage until then”
With his business concluded at the
Hotel Danny left and India got on with her work whilst wearing an inane grin on
her face.
At the end of her shift Penny and India
were just preparing to leave and Pen noticed her friend grinning again.
“What is the matter with you today?”
she asked
“I’m just in a good mood because I’m
spending the rest of the day with Paul” she replied
She was spared any further explanation
as Danny was outside waiting for Pen.
“Hi Hun” Penny said “This is a nice
surprise”
Danny gave her a kiss and said
“I thought I’d take you for lunch”
“Lovely” she replied “Can Indie come?”
“No I can’t” India said quite forcefully
and then as she started to blush she said “Bye Danny” and rushed off
“Bye Indie” they both said
“Should I be worried about you two?”
she asked suspiciously
“No she just doesn’t want to be the
third wheel” he lied
The pair of them walked into the village
holding hands and India walked home still grinning inanely.
When she got home, she had a quick bite
of lunch and then she got changed before throwing her swimming stuff into a
backpack.
They had done a lot of swimming over
the preceding weeks it was great exercise for Paul and she got to see his
ripped body.
When
it got too cold to swim in the lake they cycled to a swimming pool in Childean.
Paul
had just got his bike out of the garage when India arrived and wheeled herself
alongside him so they could kiss.
Her
beautiful dark hair was tucked loosely beneath her helmet, her eyes sparkled
and her cheeks were ruddy from exertion.
“What
kept you?” he said
“Some
of us have to work for a living”
She
had one foot on the floor and the other on the pedal and Paul’s eyes were fixed
on the shape of her thigh and the firmness of her buttock.
India
noticed where his eyes has come to rest and said with a giggle
“You
can keep your eyes off of that soldier boy”
“Why?”
he said “I like it”
“Well
you’re not going to get it” she yelled as she sped off down the road.
“I
can if I catch you” he responded and chased after her
They were a mile the other side of
Shallowfield before he caught up with her sufficiently that he could slap her
bum, signalling the end of the pursuit,
They were both panting hard as they
coasted into a layby
“You’re definitely improving” she
panted “you didn’t catch me until the outskirts of Childean last time”
“I’m getting stronger everyday” he
agreed and her smile faded
When they got back to the lake later
that afternoon it was just at the moment Penny and Danny approached the shore
in the Summers skiff.
India
stopped her bike and waved to her friend and waited for her to disembark.
As
Penny came running up towards her, she wasn’t sure if she should feign surprise
at her news but in the end the point was moot.
“I
have news” she said and thrust her hand out under India’s nose “he didn’t tell
you everything”
India
saw the ring and got off her bike and let it fall to the floor as she hugged
Penny tightly and the two of them danced a jig.
The
happy couple went to give the news to the Browns and anyone and everyone who
would listen.
And
India and Paul continued their journey.
She
was genuinely thrilled about her best friend’s engagement but it was bitter
sweet as it heightened her own feelings about what she might lose in November.
And
nine days later there was a tearful farewell at the airport and Penny and her
fiancé left for Australia.
October
was a strange month, Indie really missed her friend and she worried about how
she would cope it she did lose Paul and her best friend wasn’t there to help
her through it.
To
match her gloom the weather was atrocious with rain and gales day after day.
So
road work and excursions to Childean were at a minimum.
Also
India was working more hours to cover some of Penny’s but the good news was
that it didn’t reduce the amount of time she and Paul got to spend together.
The
weather improved into November but not her dark thoughts, although she shielded
them from Paul.
He
was so excited at his impending medical and he counted the days, while it
filled her with dread and she wished time would stand still.
The
week before his medical he went to the surgery in Shallowfield to see Dr
Andrews just to give him a final once over.
“What’s
the verdict then doc?” he asked after the examination
“Well
for what it’s worth I think you are literally fighting fit” Claire said
“You
have lost some latitude in the hip joint and I don’t know what their tolerances
will be”
“Well
that will have to do” Paul said
“The
fact that you are where you are now is testament to your hard work and not a
little help from India” Claire said
“You
should be very grateful to her”
“I
am” he confirmed “And she’s got the job permanently if she wants it”
“Does
she know that?” Claire asked
“I’m
sure she does” Paul replied and Claire raised her eyebrows
The
fateful day arrived and Paul had to leave at the crack of dawn to get to
Nettlefield by 10 o’clock, being late was not an option.
Because
India only lived next door she set her alarm and walked round to see him off.
“Good
luck” she said putting on a brave face as she kissed and hugged him
“I
wish you were coming with me” he said holding her tightly
“I
know, but I have to work” she said and then kissed Paul’s sister Ellen
“Don’t
worry” whispered Ellen, who could see her fear behind her smile
India
smiled at her weakly, but she still worried anyway.
She
got to work extra early that day because she knew she wouldn’t get to sleep
again.
India
had all the tables and breakfast things laid in the dining room before Sheryl even
arrived downstairs.
“Good
morning India” she said “Gosh you’ve been busy”
“I
was up early” she said
“Is
today the day?”
“Uh
huh”
“Don’t
worry dear I’m sure he’ll pass” Sheryl said
“Yes
I know” Indie said
She
kept herself busy all day and she worked on well past her time, and she still
hadn’t heard anything from Paul when she eventually left for home.
When
she got home she went up to her room and lay on her bed and promptly fell
asleep.
She
was unceremoniously woken by her brat of a sister Dakota.
“Oiy,
He-She”
Dakota
was a girlie girl and India was a tomboy.
“That
ridiculously gorgeous man, with absolutely no taste, is downstairs” she said
“Ok”
Indie replied
She
went into the bathroom and freshened up,
“It
must be bad news” she said
“If
he’s come to the house it must be bad news”
She
took a deep breath and then went downstairs.
Paul
was in the kitchen being fawned over by her Mum and Dakota.
“Come
on sleepy head” her mum said
“Hi”
India said
“Hey”
Paul responded
“Ok
we’ll leave you two alone” Mrs Harris said “Come on Dak”
“Why?”
she said
“Just
move yourself” mum said
When
they were alone Paul kissed her and as they hugged he said
“I
passed with flying colours”
“Great”
she said
“You
don’t sound too happy” he said
“Don’t
you know what this means?”
“Yes”
she replied “it means I’ve lost you”
“What?”
he said and looked at her
“Why
would think that?”
“Because
you’re leaving” India said and her eyes filled with tears
“I’m
not leaving you” Paul said
“It’s
fine, really” she said “I’m pleased you passed, you’ve worked hard for it, and
you deserve it”
India
tried to push past him but Paul prevented her.
“Indie!
I may leave Teardrop to return to my regiment but I’m not leaving you” he
explained “I’m coming back to you”
“You
are?” she asked
“Yes,
we have an amazing future together”
“How?
If you’re going away”
“Because
you are going to marry me and then wherever I end up you’ll be right there with
me” he said
India
tried to process what she had just heard and couldn’t make sense of it.
She
imagined that the “ridiculously gorgeous man, with absolutely no taste” had
just mentioned marriage, but that made no sense at all.
“I
don’t understand” she said
“I
want you to marry me and be in my life forever”
Paul
explained
“So?”
“So
I don’t know, you military types are notoriously unreliable” she said coolly
“What?”
he said bemused and then India couldn’t contain herself for a second longer
“Of
course I’ll marry you soldier boy”
And
they sealed it with a kiss.
After
she kissed Paul goodbye at the front door, she closed it behind him and rushed
into the lounge.
“Mum,
mum” she called “What time is it in Australia? I need to Skype Penny”
“He
didn’t” Mum said very excitedly
“He
did” she replied and they both screamed
“Did
what?” asked Dakota
“That’s
amazing” mum said
“I
know” India said and they screamed again
“What’s
happened?” Dakota yelled
Attracted
by the noise Chris Harris walked in to discover his wife and eldest daughter
dancing around the room.
What’s
going on? He asked
“I
have absolutely no idea” Dakota replied
