Monday, 5 July 2021

Snippets of Downshire Life – Downshire Day

 

In the north of Downshire is the old market Town of Nettlebridge which was quainter and more peaceful than its neighbour Nettlefield which was a Military Town whereas Nettlebridge prospered from the sheep and wool trade, which is evidenced by the road names,  Sheepfold Street, Woolsack Lane and Shepherds Bridge, and this trade had historically generated a great deal of wealth and the town was buzzing on Downshire day.

 

Dawn Druitt lived across the street from John Dunkley in Sheepfold Street, and she was a kindly soul in her forties, recently divorced, with three grown up children who had all flown the nest.

John liked her as a neighbour but had never looked at her in an appraising manner, he had had a brief affair with her sister Karen but that was only sex, he didn’t like her as a person, but Dawn was different she was nice, but even then, he had seen her more as a good friend or a big sister.

But that was before a particularly over indulgent and boozy lunch at the local pub on Downshire Day, which resulted in them standing in her hallway while her tongue energetically explored his mouth, and with every passing moment he was warming to her and seeing her less like a friend or a sister, in fact he saw her in an entirely different light so the kissing lead inexorably to her bedroom.

 

John undressed quickly and got under the covers while she disrobed in a dimly lit corner.

“Why are you hiding over there?”

“My figure isn’t up to bright lights” she replied

“Nonsense you have a lovely shape” he corrected her as he watched her pulling her pants and tights off

“Well I’m not as firm and toned as my sister” she said “but then you would know that better than I do”

“The importance difference between you and Karen is that I really like you” he said as she joined him beneath the duvet.

 

After they had made love she lay with her head on his chest and said

“Well that’s not a very good start is it?”

“What do you mean?” he asked puzzled

“Well I was married to Jack for 25 years and was never unfaithful once” she replied

“Now I have a new man in my life, who I’ve only been dating for 3 weeks and I’ve been unfaithful to him already” she replied and laughed out loud before adding in a more serious tone.

“We haven’t even… you know…. done it yet, I’ve only ever been with… I had only ever been with Jack and wasn’t sure about what to do with a new man, but I don’t suppose there’s any need to worry about that now” And she laughed again

“Now that I’ve been unfaithful numerous times, now I am a serial adulteress,” she confessed

“You’ve only done it once” he pointed out

“I know” she said “but I thought I might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb” 

“Well I think that’s a good philosophy” he said “But there’s just one thing”

“What’s that?”

“Well as we’ve already broken the ice, so to speak” he said “I wouldn’t mind being the new man in your life”

“I would really like that” she said and kissed his chest “But Karen won’t like it”

“Karen’s not going to get it” he retorted and pulled her beneath the duvet.

IF WE HAD MET AT A DIFFERENT TIME

 

If we had met at a different time

I would have asked out Charlie

Charlie the beautiful young brunette

Whose voice alone was sufficient to arouse

Hazel eyes that could mesmerize

And her heady perfume was hypnotic

Just to look at her curves stirred my loins

Those perfectly round buttocks

The swing of her hips

And the movement of her breasts

Charlie the beautiful young brunette

With the impossibly long legs

That could have encircled me

In our passionate embrace

She could so easily have been mine

But I stepped away

And I distanced myself from her beauty

Because she was half my age

And because I was not free

I did the right thing

But I still think of what might have been

OH MY CHRISTMAS ANGEL

 

Oh my Christmas Angel

Won’t you here my plea

Oh Christmas Angel

Spend Christmas with me

 

Oh my Christmas Angel

Surely heaven sent

Oh Christmas Angel

Be my Christmas present

 

Oh my Christmas Angel

Wont you here my plea

Let me un-wrap you

Beneath the Christmas tree

 

Oh my Christmas Angel

Oh please hear me do?

Oh Christmas angel

Let me make a devil out of you


DID YOU FALL FROM HEAVEN?

 

Did you fall from heaven?

With the winter snow

You must be an Angel

You have that special glow

 

You must have come from heaven

An Angel from above.

Sent to me this Christmas

Sent to bring me love

 

Come sit beside me

In the glowing candle light

I never knew my love

Could ever burn so bright

 

From this first moment

As we drink a glass of wine

Your sweet angelic nature

Tells me you are divine

 

Wrapped in an Angels form

As our Christmas starts

You give me the gift of love

And I give to you my heart

Sunday, 4 July 2021

The Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa – A Shoulder to Cry on

 

The beautiful Downshire village of Clerembeax St Giles was situated to the west of Abbeyvale located between Grace Hill and Bushy Down and on the outskirts was the Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa which was the location of The Funeral Directors of Downshire Awards and William Hemmings and Sons of Abbottsford were represented by Brother and Sister, Will and Melanie Hemmings, Alexandra Norris and Elise Szczypek. 

Will was the first to arrive and had booked in early, so he could enjoy some of the facilities and was on his way down to the bar to have a drink before going into find their table, when he heard a commotion at the Awards Organisers check in desk, and he recognized one of the voices as one of his party, Elise.

He paused on the stairs and drank in the scene, though his eyes were focused on her, and he thought she looked gorgeous in her evening dress.

 

“What do you mean I’m not on the list?” she shouted

“My name is Elise Szczypek”

“I can’t see it” he said as he perused his list “Can you spell it?” 

“S.Z.C.Z.Y.P.E.K” she said slowly and deliberately

“No that hasn’t helped” he said, “Can you write it down?”

Reluctantly she printed her surname on a piece of paper and handed it to him

“No that hasn’t helped either” he said and then laughed

“Wow that would score big on scrabble, perhaps that’s what we should call you Miss Scrabble”

“My name is Elise Szczypek” she repeated slowly “S.Z.C.Z.Y.P.E.K”

“Yes, I understand” he said “but I must just ask, do you lot have something against vowels”

“My lot, my lot, what do you mean, my lot?” she said angrily, which was when Will arrived, and stepped between them before Elise brained him.

But it quickly became apparent that she was not calming down, so he steered her away from the fray and she left the hotel like a marauding bull with him right behind her carrying her pashmina and clutch bag.

Once outside Will caught up her and walked Elise around the grounds and calmed her down and soothed her temper with his comforting words and a reassuring hug.

 

After an hour her mood had lightened sufficiently for him to propose they make another attempt to gain entry to the function and she concurred, so they walked back to the Hotel arm in arm and he stayed by her side all night, and she had never in her life been happier, so at the end of the evening on the terrace in the moonlight she kissed him.

They often joked over their long life together that the entire night had been something of a cliché, but they didn’t care.

 

IF I KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW – SHARON S

 

If I knew then what I know now

I would have asked out Sharon

Sharon with the big sad eyes

And the big round breasts

What a game we could have had

But I held back

Because she was my best friends ex

I know now that he wouldn’t have cared

If only I’d known, then what I know now of life

CUPID FIRED

 

I’ve waited for my valentine

For such a long, lonely time

I have waited for years

For him to end all my tears

I’ve waited for cupid to start

And shoot his arrow at a heart

The piercing of my valentine

That would then make him mine

And I hoped and I prayed

For a valentine loving serenade

But I never ever got one

So, I shot cupid with a gun

You may think my actions hard

But he did nothing in my regard

And when apology remained unsaid

I shot cupid in the head