Monday, 26 July 2021

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

I was drawn to her

Like a moth to a flame

My eyes were drawn to her

Slender frame

Her hypnotic green eyes

Deep and intense like precious emeralds

Held me entranced,

Paralyzed like a serpents prey

Her skin was lustrous

Like a fresh picked peach

And her cheeks glowed

With the faintest hint of red

Her mouth opened

Lips like the petals of an open flower

Were moist as if with morning dew

She spoke, her words soft

And her voice smooth as silk

Mesmerized me like music

I answered her without hearing the words

It was almost dreamlike

My heart beat fast in my chest

As I swam in and out of reality

I felt her hand in mine

And she led me into the garden

Where we strolled together

Through the fragrant twilight of moonbeams

Her scent was heady as the exotic blossom

Of orchids in spring

My heart still pounded

As her mesmeric voice

Like an angel’s whisper

Led me on through the moonlight

I seemed to float through the evening

Almost disembodied

And in those many magical moments

I surrendered my heart and soul

To the vision named Clarissa

IF NOT FOR….

 

If not for sweet birdsong in tree and bush

How plain the spring seasons headlong rush

If not for the daffodil’s trumpets of gold

How sad the passage to new from old

If not for your sweet presence by my side

Spring would hold no joy, as sadness would reside

Sunday, 25 July 2021

Those Memories Made on Teardrop Lake – (33) A New Woman

 

It was a successful organization that district nurse Elena Fedeli joined on a bitter cold January morning along with another new nurse named Harriet Robinson.

It was two years to the day after Dr Claire Andrews took over The Shallowfield Surgery and in that short time she and her business partner Olivia Adamson had transformed it into the Dancingdean Heath Centre, which necessitated the expansion of staff numbers.

 

However while things had been going well for Claire and Olivia in the two years they had been in Shallowfield.

It had been quite a different story in those two years for Elena, despite the fact that they began with her meeting the man that within a few weeks she would be in love with.

 

She was working at St Bernadette’s Covent Hospital in Abbeyvale, although in truth it was more of a hospice, there were a number of wards for convalescents but mainly it was palliative care.

Which she didn’t mind because she was good at her job and she was a caring soul.  

 

It was at the end of her shift on a winter’s night and she was on her way home.

She was taking a shortcut through the hospital garden when she found Dave McAteer sitting alone in the dark.

It was snowing and she was walking along lost in her thoughts when she suddenly saw something moving in her peripheral vision which made her jump then he spotted her and let out an involuntary yelp.

Which resulted in Elena subsequently letting out a scream.

“Oh Shit” she said in very un-convent like language.

The reason he was sitting in the dark on a cold winter’s night was that he had just received the worse possible news about his mother.

Elena was a kind and caring nurse so despite the bitter cold night and the falling snow she sat with him.

And they smoked a cigarette and drank from a hip flask as they chatted in the snow.

After about forty minutes the snow began falling harder and it was getting colder when he asked.

“Are you off duty?”

“Yes” she replied “I’m done for the day”

“Well I’m chilled to the bone” He said “do you fancy getting something to eat?”

“Yes, that would be nice” she replied and a broad smile crossed her face

It was a kind face with a delicate smile and her coloring clearly betrayed her Mediterranean ancestry and he smiled back at her.

But when he offered and she accepted neither of them expected it to be anything other than a mutually companionable meal.

They certainly weren’t looking for anything else.

Elena Fedeli had been disappointed by love too many times in her 32 years to walk into another potential disaster with a man who had a very difficult and fraught time ahead.

Dave had also been through the mill relationship wise and wanted no more than to be there for his mother every step of the way until she passed.

With all that said they promptly went and fell in love.

 

More than two years on with the benefit of hind sight it was disaster waiting to happen.

Apart from the fact his mother was dying by inches before his eyes there were other aspect of their lives which were not compatible.

Dave was a lapsed Catholic in fact he was a lapsed Christian while she was a practicing Anglican and had a very deep faith.

He worked 9 to 5 for an insurance company while she was a nurse who worked shifts and there was the age difference he was three years her junior.

But despite their differences they really did love each other and there was a time that she thought it might even lead to marriage.

They had met under difficult circumstances with her being one of the palliative care nurses caring for his terminally ill mother.

Then when the day came that his mother died he leant on her.

In fact he leant on her a lot and perhaps foolishly she let him do so more than she should have.

But it did hit him hard, and his mum was the last relative he had left.

The biggest problem was that his faith which had been crumbling over a number of years before they met had disintegrated altogether and that became a problem between them.

She tried to help and support him but she had a deep and sustaining faith.

Her faith was as strong as ever, if not stronger, but he had none and it drove a wedge between them and the resulting chasm between them could not be reconciled.

 

Dave losing his faith was not in itself a problem, she could have lived with that, she could have dealt with that.

But what she couldn’t live with in any way shape or form was that he resented her relationship with God and that she could not live with.

After his mum died he blamed everyone and everything except the cancer.

In the end, for the sake of her sanity she had to make a hard decision, to stop being his crutch and to leave him to wallow in self pity.

 

They were together for two years before they split up which in the end they did quite amicably and then she lived alone for six months before she had an epiphany.

She decided to change everything in her life, firstly she quit smoking and when she had licked that she went teetotal.

With a clear head and clearing lungs she took up running although in truth the running only lasted a week when she reverted to walking.

She figured if that went well enough she would then start walking faster.

And finally she applied for a new job.

 

Teardrop Lake and the surrounding woodland was privately owned and divided into twelve parcels each with one significant dwelling although there were a number of cottages dotted around the woodland. 

 

Elena moved into number 3 Folly Cottages just before Christmas, the previous occupant was one of her new bosses Olivia Shenton who now lived at the Vicarage in Shallowfield with her husband and she fell in love with the cottage and its location instantly.

 

Originally there were six dwellings but after conversion there were now three terraced cottages and they were situated high above the northern perimeter road in a rocky glade.

The two end ones had two bedroom and the one in the middle had one.

Once upon a time they were home to peasants who worked the woods but now the peasantry couldn’t afford to live anywhere near the lake.

The view of the lake was spectacular although they couldn’t see it all or discern the teardrop shape that gave the lake its name. But the view of the surrounding ancient woodland of the Dancingdean Forest was majestic.

Although much of the modest body of water was obscured from view it was still quite beautiful and relatively unspoilt which was why the she instantly fell in love with the place, and as there was snow on the ground the scene was very picturesque.

 

It was both idyllic and peaceful, there was little or no noise pollution and she had been reliably informed that although the lake was used there were no speed boats or jet skis, only rowing boats, canoes, dinghies and skiffs.

Fortunately Elena was not the only new starter at the health centre or the only newbie to the area.

Harriet Robinson who was the new phlebotomist moved into number 1 a couple of days before her.

However whereas Elena’s move had been out of choice because she was looking for a change Harriet’s had been forced upon her due to cost cutting measures.

As they both moved in before Christmas and weren’t due to start work until the New Year and as they were neighbours the two new girls gravitated towards each other especially as Harriet’s University Professor husband, Nathan, was only around at the weekend for the first week until the end of the semester.

Eva Christodoulou and Siti Shahara, who lived in number 2, also worked at the health centre, volunteered to show the new girls around and help them get their bearings and settle in.  

 

She was dreading that first Christmas in a new place without Dave, she thought that all that time on her own would drive her crazy.

But she needn’t have worried for a second the mad girls in number 2 made sure she wasn’t sad or lonely and didn’t give her a minute to think.

She did find herself missing him in her quieter moments though.

 

After a very enjoyable first Christmas in her new home Elena was really pleased that she wasn’t starting the new job on her own and she knew Harriet felt the same way.

They both slotted right in at the Heath Centre and they soon found that the rest of the staff were just as friendly as their new neighbours were.

 

Elena loved her job from the first moment she walked through the doors and she loved living on the Lake even more.

She had continued on her healthy approach to life and walked a circuit of the lake every morning except the weekends, on Saturdays she split her time between housework and exploring the forest and Sundays after she’d attended church in the morning she watched old films on TV in the afternoon, after all she was 35 by then.

Apart from enjoying the Lake and its environs she was fast becoming a regular part of Church life in Shallowfield and along with Harriet where in full voice when on Easter Sunday when her neighbour Nathan Robinson debuted as Choir master.

 

After Easter, life continued in much the same way until the summer festivities filled the calendar.

It began as it did every year on Teardrop Lake with Lynn Cooper’s birthday BBQ at Coopers Villa on the first of May and ended at the Shallowfield Lodge Hotel in September for Rob and Sheryl Browns Wedding Anniversary party.

It had been such a busy summer with the seemingly endless round of Hog Roasts and BBQ’s, parties and picnics that it wasn’t until summer drifted relentlessly into autumn that loneliness struck her.

 

Although if truth be told since she had split up with Dave she had not been short of admirers so her loneliness was not for want of an offer.

Her loneliness was so heartfelt because she missed Dave because at the end of the day she still in love with him.

 

There were other distractions in September such as

Olivia Shenton’s Wedding Anniversary and Chantelle Dooney’s birthday and Siti Shahara’s was in October, but overall not enough.

 

Throughout October at the health centre the main topic of conversation was the upcoming Lutchford’s Annual Fancy Dress Halloween party at Forest Lodge, to which all the staff were invited.

The talk was primarily of what costumes would be worn but more interestingly the gossip was mainly about past misdemeanours.

Although Elena was not a Catholic her years spent at the convent hospital exposed her to what she considered a more dignified way to spend Halloween than dressing up in a ridiculous costume and drinking so much you couldn’t remember if you enjoyed yourself or not.

So she choose to decline the invitation to the Halloween party and chose instead to attend the Halloween celebrations at St Mary’s.

 

Everyone at the health centre apart from Elena and the Vicar’s wife Olivia were going to the Halloween Party at the Lutchford’s so the two of them left work early for the Church.

The evening began with a short children’s service followed by a Children’s party in the church hall which included music and games and of course sweets. 

After the parents and children had gone Elena stayed on to help Olivia and Ben and the other helpers to clear away.

“Come and have supper with us” Olivia said when they were done “its only bread and soup”

“No I wouldn’t want to intrude” Elena said

“Nonsense” the Vicar said “We insist”

“In that case then, thank you” she conceded

 

As they sat eating homemade soup and bread in the Vicarage Olivia asked

“So will you be lighting a candle tonight?”

“Yes” she replied

“Might I ask for whom?” she asked

“My parents” Elena replied “And someone who isn’t dead yet”

“Ok” Olivia said “that’s intriguing, but I won’t press you”

 

At St Marys the All Hallows Eve vigil was a quiet solemn time where you could light a candle for dead loved ones.

After quiet contemplation she then lit one for a living person, Dave McAteer, she thought if she lit a candle for him on Halloween she could let him go and get on with her life.

 

Elena took a seat on the front pew and lost herself in prayer, she had no idea how long she had been praying or even when another worshiper had joined her.

“Hello El” he said when she eventually raised her head up from her devotions.

She turned around and it slowly dawned on her who it was

“Hello Dave” she said “how on earth did you find me?”

“Sister Agatha told me” he replied

“Why are you here?”

“I missed you” he said

“I’ve missed you too” Elena confided “but I’m not in your life anymore”

“I’ve realized since you left that you were my life” Dave said

“And I foolishly let you go”

Elena said nothing and looked away

“And you were right to leave me” he said “I had to learn to stand on my own two feet”

Still she said nothing

“I’ve grown up and come to my senses and as soon as I did I knew I had to win you back, but I didn’t know how”

Elena still said nothing

“So I asked someone for help”

“Who?” she asked turning and looking at him for the first time

“God” he replied and she gasped

“I opened my heart to God and suddenly everything made sense”

“Truly?” she asked with moistened eyes

“Truly” he replied and took her hand

“But I lit a candle for you tonight” she confessed

“No, you lit a candle for a different Dave” he replied “and he is dead and gone”

Elena looked at him and she placed her other hand on his and smiled.

 


LOVES EXQUISITE ACHE

 

Oh, to feel loves exquisite ache

That desperate longing

That naked want

Feeling so alive in the torment

While craving the fix

Of that heady foaming brew

To quench the thirst of desire

And when that significant soul

Who holds my captive heart

Is but a kiss away

I am dragged from sorrows

Unfathomable depths

And bitter anguish evaporates

Like dew in the morning sun

And euphoria fills every pore

And in that perfect ecstasy

That blissful state of love

I remain until I am again alone

I DON’T WANT (from a woman’s perspective)

I don’t want silk lingerie

Or delicate handmade lace

I don’t want designer frocks

Or makeup for my face

I don’t want French perfume

Or expensive jewelry

I don’t want a penthouse flat

With luxurious foolery

I don’t want foreign holidays

Or bouquets of every hue

I don’t even want a sports car

I just want a man that’s true 

BUTTERFLY GIRL

We stood on a hilltop high

With the golden sunup in the sky

We bathed in each other’s company

And the time passed idly by

 

Below us stood the village mill

Wheel turned by the silver water

While on the hill a young man stood

Kissing the Miller’s daughter

 

And as we stood upon that hill

Beneath that glorious summer sun

My heart was lost to her forever

But for the girl it was only fun

 

So, there would be no love affair

No reciprocation of desire

She was just a pretty butterfly

Flitting from flower to flower 

Saturday, 24 July 2021

Those Memories Made on Teardrop Lake – (31) Deliciousness

 

Nick Addison was the eldest son of Simon and Eleanor Addison.

Who at the age of 23 was currently the assistant manager of the Bakers shop in Shallowfield?

The Addison family lived in Tower House which was at the Shallowfield end of Teardrop Lake, and they were an old Teardrop family who were also very important to the local economy as they were one of the largest employers in the area.

 

The family owned and operated the Addison’s Bakery in Shallowfield and more than two dozen baker’s shops and an equal number of coffee shops throughout the county of Downshire.

Simon at 48, was the Patriarch of the family and managing director of the company and his wife Eleanor was two years his junior and was the finance director.

And they weren’t the only family members employed by the firm, there were more than thirty in all, aunts, uncles, nephews, nieces and cousins and among them was Nick.

 

Nick had been working at the Bakery since Christmas and he had got to know a lot of regular customers over that time but only one of them caused his heart to pound and his pulse to race. 

 

Antonia Mazzone was the same age as Nick and she had been a waitress at the Phoenix Restaurant for almost 9 months in fact she had been there since it opened.

She was tall and lean with short straight blonde hair which hung longer at the front than at the back and was held off her face by a clip.

And when she came in the shop they would always smiled politely at each other and exchanged pleasantries but nothing more than that.

 

She normally wore the traditional waitress attire of a white blouse, black skirt and black tights although she would often alternate the skirt with black tailored trousers.

Nick always looked forward to her going into the shop or even just walking past it.

He liked it particularly in the evenings especially if she was late for her shift.

She always wore heels and when she was late for work she had to walk fast and as she did so it forced her to lean forward from the waist and the consequence of the heels and the leaning forward pushed her bum out backwards which he found rather a delicious sight.

And he really loved that, he liked it when she was late.

But as it turned out it was not the most delicious sight she had in store for him.

On a particularly warm and sunny Monday morning in May as she approached the shop with the sunlight behind her.

It rendered her new white blouse almost invisible and displayed her well filled white lacy bra to great effect.

He glanced sideways and realized that he was the only one in the shop who had noticed her revelation she he turned back to enjoy some more.

She pushed open the door and stepped inside the shop and she was fully clothed again.

Antonia smiled as she walked inside and approached the counter.

“Good morning Toni” Nick said

“Hi Nick” she replied “isn’t it a beautiful day”

“It is” he responded “do you want your usual?”

“Yes please”

Her usual was a Pecan Platt Danish pastry.

She called into the shop every morning around ten o’clock on her way to work.

Nick put her pastry in a bag and handed it to her but as he did so he leant towards her and whispered.

“Don’t take this the wrong way but your blouse is totally see through in the sunshine”

She gave him a puzzled look as he took the money from her and turned to face the till.

And as he turned back with her change the penny had obviously dropped.

“Oh God” she said and put the Danish back on the counter and quickly put on her cardigan and she was blushing vividly as she took her change and said. 

“Thank you”

She walked to the door and half turned as she opened it

“Thank you” she said and smiled

 

Though she wasn’t thanking him for the pastry but rather for his gallantry.

Though to his shame his actions weren’t driven so much by gallantry as selfishness because he didn’t want anyone else to see what he had seen.

 

However Nick came to wonder if he had done the right thing after all because he didn’t see her in the shop for the rest of that week and most of the following one and when he did see her through the shop window she was walking on the opposite side of the street.

That was not the desired effect he was hoping for as a result giving her the heads up about the blouse.

He had hoped that it might have been like an ice breaker, a prelude to something other than the customer/purveyor interactions they had hitherto been restricted to.

Now it appeared to him that they weren’t even to have those interactions anymore.

 

For Antonia avoiding the Bakers was a double edged sword, not only was she having to forgo her guilty pleasure namely her daily Danish, but she was also having to give up what she would have liked to have become a guilty pleasure in the future, the Assistant Manager Nick Addison.

In truth she was heartily embarrassed to make such an exhibition of herself and for it to have been the object of her affections to have been the recipient of the peep show.

Not that she was a prude about such matters and if her lustful desires ever came to fruition he would get to see it all. 

But she was hoping that would have been at a time and a place of her choosing and not on the street outside his place of work.

 

So as a result of her exposing herself they were now restricted to distant sightings of each other.

They had reached an impasse, he fancied her and she fancied him but neither knew the others disposition and were too afraid of going out on a limb.

But if he didn’t speak to her outside the shop and she wouldn’t go in the shop then nothing would ever come of their individual desires.

 

In the end it was events beyond either of their control that broke the stalemate.

Some might say that fate took a hand to bang their heads together.

 

Almost from her first day at the Phoenix restaurant as a waitress Antonia had shown an interest in what went on beyond the pass.

She could have had chosen a different path and gone into the Mazzone’s family business and had an easier life.

The Mazzone’s began with one barbers shop fifty years earlier and that had grown into a beauty business empire, Unisex salons, spas, nail bars and tanning salons.

But she didn’t see her future in hairdressers and beauty salons she wanted to be a Chef.

From day one at the Phoenix she had impressed the owners with her willingness to do absolutely anything that was asked of her and quite a lot of what wasn’t.

Head Chef Jane Cooper and her partner, in every sense of the word, manager Terry O’Neil valued her very highly and believed strongly that she would be a very valuable asset to them in whatever capacity turned out to be her natural bent.

 

Which is why after nine months Jane asked her if she wanted to train with her as a Chef.

In the early stages it would necessitate her keeping a foot in both camps so to speak and do waitress shifts while she trained but still she jumped at the chance.

The news came two weeks after the see through blouse incident and she was so happy she wanted to go over to the Bakers and share her news with Nick but halfway there she had second thoughts.

“He probably won’t be interested”

She said to herself but in truth she was still a little embarrassed.

 

If she had gone into the shop she wouldn’t have found him there anyway, he was over in Northchapel for two days, training staff for the new shop that was opening the following week.

 

On Saturday night Nick left the Northchapel shop with the new manager Ian Frazer at about 9.00pm and after locking up they went into the Town centre to have a curry before they both headed off.

It was after 11 when he returned to his car and he was absolutely shattered.

He set off and was really looking forward to his bed when he got a puncture, he hadn’t gone more than half a mile.

“Bollocks” He said and pulled over into a convenience layby but when he went to the boot for the spare it was flat and he didn’t have a pump.

He had RAC cover so he could have phoned them but he couldn’t be bothered to wait around for God knew how long.

So he locked the car and walked back into town getting to the station with 15 minutes to spare for the last train to Shallowfield.

It was known as the rattler as it rattled along stopping at what seemed like every station in Downshire.

 

Antonia was also out that Saturday night celebrating her change of career with some friends in Childean.

And as a certain amount of alcohol had been imbibed with their meal she and her friends were also catching the train home.

Childean however was one of the few stations in the county that the Northchapel rattler didn’t stop at.

 

Nick was struggling to keep his eyes open as the train rattled its way through the darkness.

He was only two stops from home and if he missed his stop he would end up in Abbottsford for the night.

 

The train pulled into Purplemere station and came to a stop.

The sliding doors opened and a cool blast of air hit him which perked him up a bit and then a tall blonde giggling girl fell into the carriage and plonked down on the seat opposite him.

And when she had settled and brushed the blonde strands of hair from her face he realized it was Toni.

She was still giggling when he said

“Hello”

It took her a moment to focus on him and then she beamed a smile at him

“It’s you” she said “I’ve been celebrating”

“I can tell” Nick said and smiled

“What were you celebrating?” he added

“I’m going to train as a Chef” she said proudly

“So where did you go?” Nick asked

“The Chinese place in Childean” she slurred

“Oh I see” he said a little puzzled “so how come you got on the train at Purplemere?”

“I got on the wrong train” she admitted and giggled

“Now I understand” he said and laughed

Apparently she had been so busy chatting away with her friends that she got on the train with them.

The problem was they were so tiddly they didn’t notice her mistake until they reached Purplemere.

Nick decided he would take advantage of her inebriated state and tell her how he felt about her.

“You haven’t been in the shop for ages” he said “I’ve missed you”

“I’ve missed my Danish” she said

Not the response he was hoping for in fact he was left a little deflated by her response.

“It’s clear where your priorities lay” he thought to himself

Then she asked

“Did you say you missed me?”

“Yes” he said

“Because you like me buying Danish pastries?”

She asked

“No, because I just like you coming in to see me” he replied 

She got up awkwardly and crossed the narrow gap to sit next to him

Just as the train pulled into Shallowfield

“I like you too” she slurred

“Come on” he said and helped her to her feet “or you’ll end up in Abbottsford”

Once safely off the train he added

“I’ll walk you home”

She only lived about a hundred yards from the station but in her condition he didn’t trust her to make it.

“I like you too” she repeated as he took her arm and steered her through the barrier

“Do you?” he asked doubtfully

“Yes” she insisted as they emerged from the station building

“I really do”

“Hmm” he said

“But I do” she said “Why don’t you believe me?”

“Well” he said as they turned into the end of her road “tiddly Toni might really like me”

“She does, she really does” she said holding on to his arm and looking at him pleadingly

“But when sober Antonia returns she will probably go back to avoiding the shop and walking on the other side of the street”

“No she won’t Nick I promise” She said “She was just embarrassed about you seeing my boobies” she said “That was all”

They had reached her front gate

“Well here we are safely at your front door” Nick said

“Are you going kiss tiddly Toni goodnight?” she asked very childlike

“No I want our first proper kiss to be with sober Antonia”

And he kissed her forehead “I want it to be memorable for both of us”

“Can I see you tomorrow then?”

She asked

“It’s already tomorrow” he replied “and when you get up I can guarantee you won’t want to see me”

“When then?” she asked pathetically

“That’s up to you” Nick replied “You know where to find me”

Nick kissed her on the forehead again and hugged her

“I really hope you like me as much as I do you” he said kissed her one more time and walked away

“Goodnight Toni”

As she watched him walk away she set her jaw resolutely and said

“I’ll show you Nicholas Addison”

 

Nick meanwhile was hoping he hadn’t blown his chance with her.

It’s just that he wanted her heart and soul and didn’t want something between them to begin with her drunken infatuation based merely on a response of his declaration.

 

As predicted Antonia was disinclined to see anyone the next day and remained in her room with a killer head and an ice pack.

She also reran the conversation with Nick over and over again.

The first time it made no sense at all but with each subsequent review it became clearer and clearer until she knew what she should do.

 

On Monday morning Nick opened the shop and was surprised to see Antonia was second in line behind Mrs Mason.

Karen Clarke served Mrs Mason and nick served Antonia.

“Hi Toni” he said

“Good morning Nick” she replied “it’s another beautiful day”

“Yes it is” he responded “do you want your usual?”

“Toni will have her usual Danish but the sober and responsible Antonia Mazzone has come to claim the kiss promised to her in the moonlight”

Everyone in the queue now was watching on in silence.

“Well we here at Addison’s pride ourselves on giving the customers what they want”

And Nick stepped around the counter and approached her

“I hope this will be memorable enough for you” she said as they stood face to face smiling at each other and then they kissed.

It was a long slow and deliberate kiss.

“Tiddly Toni wasn’t lying was she” she whispered when they had finished.

“No she certainly wasn’t” he agreed and kissed her again

“Thank Mr Addison that was quite delicious” she said

“Here if I buy a Danish do I get one of those?” Mrs Mason asked and everyone laughed

“I’m sorry Mrs Mason” he said “Special customers only”