Monday, 1 November 2021

Mornington-By-Mere – (42) A Christmas Misadventure

 

Peter Andrew was a big barrel-chested man with a bushy beard and a happy jovial face and along with his wife Helen he ran the Old Mill Inn In the idyllic village of Mornington-By-Mere in the Finchbottom Vale nestled between the Ancient Dancingdean Forest and the rolling Pepperstock Hills.

They had been there for 20 years and had raised two children, Polly and John, and it was the perfect occupation for him but he hadn’t always been in hospitality.

 

He left school when he was fifteen, which was in the late seventies and he was living in Finchbottom with his parents.

The family home was in Shaftsbury Court, a warden run block of sheltered accommodation for the elderly and his mother was the warden.

Peter attended the School nearby which he left at the end of May and he started his first job three days later.

However in the November of that same year his mum changed jobs and the family moved from one side of town to the other, the significance of which would have a life changing effect on him within a matter of weeks.

The house move didn’t affect him getting to and from work as the town had a particularly good bus service, operating a flat fare service on circular routes.

Which meant he could still get the same bus as he did from the old address but from a different bus stop and the price was the same a fact which would have some significance at a later date.

 

His job was as a trainee groundsman with the Finchbottom District Council Grounds Maintenance team it wasn’t by any means his dream job but then he didn’t have a dream job, he left school at 15 because he wasn’t a scholar and he just needed to get a job so he took the first one that came along. 

He enjoyed it well enough, though it wasn’t very fulfilling but then he didn’t think his job needed to be.

He was just happy to be earning after all, but as it was his first year at work he also had his first works Christmas party to look forward to.

It was on the last day before they broke for the Christmas holiday when they had a little works party in the yard where a little Christmas cheer was imbibed and a drink or two were consumed.

Peter was only sixteen at the time and he had only had very limited experience of alcohol and as a result he got well and truly bladdered on whisky Mac, cider and something unpronounceable from Yugoslavia.

So at the end of the afternoon one of his workmates gave him a lift into the town centre and from there he caught his usual bus.

But despite his drunken state he managed to climb the stairs to the top deck and the bus set off filled with Christmas shoppers and a drunken trainee grounds man.

He drifted off on the journey and he suddenly came to and looking out the window he recognized a familiar sight and so he promptly disembarked from the bus.

Peter headed off up the road in the direction of home wishing all and sundry a merry Christmas as he went.

 

He entered through the main doors to the flats and passed the Christmas tree in the foyer and headed straight for flat number one.

At the door he fumbled for his key and presented it to the lock and it wouldn’t fit.

He peered closely at it and he was satisfied that it was definitely his door key so he tried to put it in the lock again, but still it wouldn’t fit and suddenly the door opened and a stranger looked out at him.

“Can I help?” she asked.

“Ah” he exclaimed “my name is Peter and I don’t live here anymore do I?”

The lady, who was the new warden, laughed and agreed with him that he definitely no longer lived there.

Peter apologized profusely and wished her a Happy Christmas and then made his way back to the foyer were there was a public telephone with one of those large Perspex domes over it.

His intention was to phone for a taxi to take him to where he actually lived but after rummaging in his pockets he discovered he had no money for the taxi or indeed a coin to make a phone call to order a taxi that he couldn’t afford.

However as he tried to duck under the Perspex hood he tripped over his own feet and fell into the Christmas tree which ended up on top of him.

The lady who now lived in flat no 1, heard the commotion and came to investigate and to his great surprise she thought it was very amusing to find a drunken teenager wearing the Christmas tree.

“Oh dear” she said laughing.

Deeply apologetic he explained the circumstances of his predicament and the new warden phoned a taxi for him and even gave him the money for the fare.

He thought that was real Christmas spirit and he never forgot her kindness and tolerance and from that time on he tried to keep that same spirit in his own heart at Christmas.

 

On New Year’s Eve Peter returned again to Shaftsbury Court but unlike his previous visit he was stone cold sober and there by intention.

He was carrying a large bouquet of flowers and a thank you card, he wasn’t going to knock on the door, he would have been too embarrassed to see her face to face, so he leant the bouquet against the door frame and turned to walk away.

He had only taken two steps when he heard the door open behind him and he went rigid.

Peter took a breath and slowly turned around expecting to see Mrs Copeland but instead he was face to face with a pretty 15 year old girl.

“Oh you must be Peter” she said looking at the card on the flowers

“Yes, yes I am” he said falteringly

“I’m Helen” she said “Mum’s inside, I think you should give her these yourself”

“Could you give them to her for me” he said

“No I can’t” Helen said “Come on in she won’t bite”

 

So with Helen holding his hand he went into the flat that used to be his home to apologize to her mum and ended up staying until the following year by which time he had a girlfriend.

By the next Christmas he had secretly proposed to Helen and five years down the line he had given up his groundsman’s job and the kind hearted Mrs Copeland was his mother in law.

 

The Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa – The Guy Fawkes Bash

 

The beautiful Downshire village of Clerembeax St Giles was situated to the west of Abbeyvale located between Grace Hill and Bushy Down and on the outskirts was the Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa and it was the location of The Guy Fawkes Bash, which was first and foremost a costume party, but in addition it was a masquerade.

Finn was staring up at the starry sky when he was approached by a busty red-haired wench wearing a satin mask across her eyes, who sauntered up to him and kissed him wetly on the mouth, which took him by surprise at first, but he soon recovered and returned her passionate kiss with interest and as the pyrotechnic display began it grew in intensity.  

 

When the kiss was at an end she stepped back and removed the mask and he gasped

“You?”

“Disappointed?” Andrea asked

“No, but this has been a surprise” he said “I didn’t think you liked me”

“I know” she replied “but I’ve fancied you for ages”

“I had no idea” he said

“I know that too, clueless aren’t you” she said

“That’s why I had to take you by surprise to get your attention”

“Well it worked”

“So, can I take that I now have your full attention?”

“oh yes” he said “But…”

“But what?” she asked with concern

“I’d like to be one hundred percent sure” he said

“Oh, I think that can be arranged” she said and moved in close for another kiss

Uncanny Love Tales – (033) Remember, Remember, a Kiss in November

 

It was dark in the lane, but just ahead of them they could see there was a dog walker smoking a cigarette as some kind of Terrier snuffled in the grass.

The man took one last drag on it and a red glow lit up his face before he flicked it into the darkness and it span through the air like a Catherine wheel, which he thought was quite appropriate as they had just been to a fireworks display on the village green, in fact the smell of the gun powder and saltpeter was still thick in the damp night air.  

But despite the cold and damp neither Nick nor Emily were in any hurry to get home, it was their very first date, but not only was it their first date together it was also the first date either of them had had.

Nick was fifteen and Emily was a year younger and quite naturally they wanted their date to last forever and so they both walked as slowly as it was possible to go without actually standing still.

However they eventually arrived in the street outside her house.

An awkward silence ensued as Nick shuffled his feet and tried to think of what to do next and Emily waited patiently for Nick’s next move.

However when she realized he didn’t have one she took decisive action and reached up and kissed him and then the fireworks truly began with their first magical kiss, a kiss that neither of them wanted to end, which sent their heart soaring into the heavens.

 

ANONYMOUS ANGEL HIDDEN FROM VIEW

 

I saw you this morning

As I walked to work

You were a little in front of me,

For part of the way,

And you fell beneath my gaze.

I noticed your feet first,

Clad in sporting wear

Your shoes were sexless,

Indeterminate in gender

The only distinguishing feature

Was that they were small, but that was all.

Your black trousers were baggy

And gave nothing away

As was your sweatshirt

Which was large, long and grey,

Reaching down to cover your bum

Your brown hair was medium length

Of no particular style

So could have been masculine or feminine.

Had the necessity not arisen

For you to reach into your back pocket

I would not have noticed

The shape of your buttocks

The movement of which,

As you walked, gave you away

You were most definitely a girl

As I got closer the wind moved your hair

And through the fine brunette strands

I glimpsed in the delicate lobe

A simple feminine stud in your ear.

You continued walking head down

Watching your sexless feet

Afraid to look the world in the eye

Or afraid the world would notice you?

Either one might be true

I was level with you as we reached the kerb

And you looked up in my direction

To check if the road was clear

And I glimpsed your face,

A pretty face, a lovely face,

Briefly our eyes met

Beautiful soft blue eyes

But I could not hold your gaze

And you looked back at your feet

Withdrawing again into your shell

But I know you’re in there now

So, tomorrow morning

I will look for you again

NOT VIRGINIA PLAIN

 

Her hair was red

Of russet tones

Like autumn leaves

Its cascading flow

Framed her face

And beauty shone forth

Its skins purity,

Rich as parchment,

Soft as silk,

Radiated her beauty

Her hypnotic eyes

Were startlingly blue,

With gemstone clarity

And held laughter in them

Her nose was small, delicate

Her lips were thin

But a smile of sweet remembrance

Constantly played about them

SHE LOOKS LIKE THE GIRL NEXT DOOR

 

She looks like the girl next door,

Well my interpretation anyway,

And for me she literally is

The girl next door

The studious Rebecca

Full of cleverness

The only child of the Coopers

Now the studious orphan Rebecca

The bookish girl next door

A homely girl though

In the unpretentious sense

Certainly not plain,

But rather understated

She is unworldly

In as much as the temporal world

Holds no sway for her

Rebecca is an attractive girl

Though not in any obvious way

Dressed casually, always

Mousy hair worn indistinctly

She has never been flash, quirky

Or groundbreaking

No its homespun sweaters

And supermarket jeans

Not exactly the height of fashion

But not dowdy nor frumpy

Unlike most of the world

I look beneath the homespun

As I have all my life

But no one else sees Rebecca

Alas she does not see me

The bookish girl next door

She has her heroes of fiction

How could I compete?

With Ahab or Hornblower

Copperfield or Darcy

Wednesday, 27 October 2021

Mornington-By-Mere – (37) Three Days of Christmas (Boxing Day)

 

(Boxing Day)

 

On Boxing Day Siobhan and Bryan were once again in the Shallowfield Road bus shelter sharing a kiss when she suddenly said 

“I have a confession to make,”

“Not another one?” he said “I’ve still got the bruises from the last one” 
“No not that kind of confession” she said

“Oh, what then?” he asked her “You’re not married are you?”

“Not that I remember” she replied “and I would hope if I were married I wouldn’t be standing in a bus shelter kissing another man”

“No, that’s a very good point” he said

“And furthermore if I was married I don’t think I would have handcuffed you to my bed on Christmas Eve, would I”

“No” he admitted and wondered what the confession might be on that boxing.

 

 

They were on their way to the Old Mill Inn and the reason they were on their way there was because they showed live football in the bar and Abbottsford Town were playing Abbeyvale Borough and Bryan was an Abbottsford fan and not only was it a derby match but it was important match because it was a top of the table clash.

Although to be honest it was always an important match when Town played Borough.

But despite the importance of the game they still stopped in the bus stop where she was making another confession.

Bryan was pleased that she wasn’t married, she could have been married for all he knew, he hadn’t known her long and they’d only been dating for a month so there was a lot he still didn’t know about her, but she was only 17.

Her name was Siobhan Chapman and she was born and bred in the village, he also knew where she went to school and who her parents and siblings were.

He knew that he liked the look of her from the first minute and asked her out a minute later and he had seen her every day since.

So as they were on their way to the pub on Boxing Day to watch the football and she suggested they stopped for an intimate interlude in the bus shelter, how could he resist.

It was kind of an instant attraction thing, certainly for her, and since the first attraction it had gradually deepened and now he was head over heels in love with her.

“What then?” he asked still unaware what her confession was.
“Oh God I’ve been dreading saying this” she said and he was really worried, she may not have been married but she could still have been engaged or had a boyfriend.

But as worried as he was he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to know.

But Siobhan took a deep breath and he braced himself

“I’m an Abbeyvale supporter” she said and closed her eyes and grimaced but it took a moment for the full implications of her statement to sink in.

“I think I would have preferred it if you were married” he said and Siobhan moved close in to him and asked

“Do you mean you would prefer it if a married woman was in love with you rather than an Abbeyvale supporter?”

“She loves me” he said to himself and he wasn’t sure if that shocked him more than the fact she supported Abbeyvale Borough.

“I'm sorry,” she said “Not much of a Christmas present for my new boyfriend I’m afraid”
But she couldn't have been more wrong about that it was the perfect Christmas present.

Siobhan Chapman loved him and everything else paled into insignificance compared to that and he made sure she knew that.