Tuesday, 12 April 2022

Tales from the Finchbottom Vale – (14) Good Golly Miss Molly

 

Sharpington-by-Sea is a traditional seaside resort complete with a Victorian Pier, seafront hotels, crazy golf, the Palladium ballroom, well maintained gardens, promenade, theatre and illuminations, all the usual things to have a great time by the seaside, as well as amusement arcades and of course the Sharpington Fun Park.

The Fun was the first purpose built amusement park to open in Britain, which had an assortment of rides, like the Rotor and the Wild Mouse, The Cyclone and the Morehouse Galloper, all very tame compared to 21st century roller coasters, but still fun.

It was also a popular resort for retirees and boasted a number of static caravan parks.

 

Sharpington was a place that held very special memories for Boris Katarski as it was there that he spent many a happy hour strolling hand in hand with his wife Lizzie as they walked the promenade or wandered round the flea market during their courtship.

It made him feel good to think of those happy days, he wasn’t sure why they stopped their Sunday jaunts to the seaside.

Work got in the way he supposed, for both of them, she had her own business and Boris was an ambitious officer who his bosses knew would go far, but never at the expense of anyone else, his target was Inspector but not at any cost which is why it took a bit longer than he had hoped, but he wouldn’t compromise.

Despite his ambition he was also the joker of the pack and got results from his team with a laugh rather than a sharp word.   

Which was why the tall muscular forty-two year old with jet black hair and wild eyes was standing by the pier in the September sunshine as a newly promoted Inspector at the Sharpington station.

 

It was the perfect move for him he had been in Abbottsford his whole career and he was looking for something a little less full on so he could spend more time with his wife and maybe start the family they had always wanted.

 

He met Lizzie Bird when he worked in Abbottsford as she was the best friend of Jenny Hack who was one of his colleague’s on DCI Overend’s squad.  

It took him ages to work up enough courage to ask her out and in the end she got tired of waiting and asked him instead and neither her decision to ask, nor his to say yes, were ones that they subsequently lived to regret and they had been married for 7 years.

Although she was now 36 she was still an attractive trim brunette who was content with her life but for the fact that the ticking of her biological clock was deafening her.

When they first got together Lizzie owned and managed the “Bizzie Lizzie” florists in Abbey View Road, Abbottsford.

She now owned a chain of Bizzie Lizzie Florists all across Downshire including one in Sharpington which she had decided to work out of since Boris got his promotion.

They also sold their substantial property in Abbottsford and bought a beautiful cottage in Dulcet-on Brooke which was right on the river.

It was really picturesque and peaceful and the perfect place to bring up a child, if she could ever get pregnant.

And that was the plan, they had both turned their backs on their stressful lives in Abbottsford, to live in a stress free idyll, which would then be more conducive to conception.

 

Boris and Lizzie had both taken three weeks holiday to cover the move from Abbottsford to Dulcet-on-Brooke which gave them a week to move out, a week to move in and a week of doing absolutely nothing at all apart from trying to make a baby.

 

It was the 7th of September when Boris and Lizzie drove into Sharpington together to start their new jobs, even though they were both actually doing the same jobs and they had merely transferred from a City to a small seaside town.

They were both very excited about the new beginnings and a little nervous, although at least Boris had someone to hold his hand because he brought DS Griffin with him as his bag man.

 

Detective Sergeant Marty Griffin was a wiry character, short and lean with brown curly hair.

Thirty-six years old, a solid by the book copper who joined Boris’s team as a temporary assignment from uniform and without two much difficulty through a combination of hard work and keeping himself out of trouble soon made his move to the squad permanent.

He was still a single man which was due mainly because he liked the lass’s more than was good for him, although his most serious fault was gambling which at one time had been bordering on addiction.

But he had put his skirt chasing and gambling well behind him,  however back in Abbottsford his reputation preceded him where ever he went, so when he was given the opportunity to start again just far enough away from his past life as to give him the opportunity to make himself a new reputation, he grabbed it with both hands.

The sale of his Abbottsford apartment, paid for by his prowess at the poker tables, bought him a dilapidated 17th Century thatched cottage in the sleepy village of Kingfisherbridge.

Although as of that day when he and Boris were talking outside the front door of Sharpington nick, Marty’s possessions were in storage and he was living at the Seaview Hotel while he had the cottage made habitable, redecorated  throughout and a new kitchen and bathroom fitted.

“Morning skip” Marty said

“Hi Marty”

“Have you settled in to the new gaff yet?” Sgt Griffin asked

“Yes it feels like we’ve been there for ever” Boris replied

“You lucky swine’s” he retorted “Is Lizzie back to work today as well?”

“Yes she just dropped me off” he replied

“How’s the Hotel?” Boris asked

“It’s comfortable enough but I’ll be glad to get into the cottage”

“When do you think that will be?” He asked

“A month at least guv” he replied

“The time will fly by once we get stuck into something interesting”

“I hope so” Marty said “I really hope so” 

Marty hadn’t taken any time off as his boss had, he stayed on in Abbottsford until a few days before the bank holiday weekend and he would take his time off when the cottage was habitable.

So on his own in the Hotel the time hung heavy which were the kind of times he would have gone skirt chasing or gambling had he not curbed those habits.

“Come on then” Inspector Katarski said opening the front door “Let’s go and meet the new team and start nicking some new villains” 

 

When the two new men reached the glass window they expected it to be a mere formality and they would be quickly buzzed in through the security door by the desk Sergeant

However they were confronted by a desk Sergeant even worse than the one they left behind in Abbotsford and George Frank was the most miserable, hard faced, moaning Minnie you would find anywhere on God’s green earth, but the one that faced them through the glass was everything that Sergeant Frank was on his worst day, was holding them up and was officious too boot.

Sgt Orr was the most unhelpful and cantankerous person Boris had ever met and he thought it was obviously a ruse to put obnoxious individuals on the front desk to deter all but the thickest skinned of the public whiners and whinger’s, he thought it unlikely that Sgt Orr was once a pleasant and helpful member of the constabulary and had become the way he was because he’d spent so much time on the front desk.

“DI. Katarski and DS Griffin” Boris said showing his warrant card to the window

“State your business” the Sgt retorted

“Police business” Boris snapped “So open the bloody door”

“No unauthorised entry” Sgt Orr barked

“I am authorized” he said and showed his warrant card again

“It’s no use keep waving that thing around” Sgt Orr “You’re not getting in, so state your business”

“This bloke makes Sgt Frank seem charming and affable” Boris said to Marty

“I am Detective Inspector Katarski and this is Detective Sgt Griffin and we work for Sharpington CID” Boris said calmly

“I know all the CID officers and you aren’t one of them” The Sgt retorted

“That’s because we are new” Marty added

“How am I supposed to know who you are then?” he asked

“That’s what the bloody warrant cards are for” Katarski shouted

“I think you need to calm down or I’ll have you removed”

“Fine arrest me, at least I’ll get through the bloody door” Boris snapped at which point Marty stepped in

“Just phone CID and tell them we are here” he said quietly and the Sgt responded equally quietly

“Phone them yourself” and turned his back on him.

 

So after 20 minutes of being stonewalled by the unhelpful Sgt, Boris phoned Sharpington Police Station.

Marty didn’t hear both sides of the conversation only the DI and he was turning purple

“CID please”

“C.I.D.”

“DI Katarski”

“K.A.T.A.R.S.K.I”

“Duty officer”

“No I don’t know the bloody extension I require”

“Just put me through to someone in CID”

 

After having finally spoken to someone in CID they waited impatiently for ten minutes and were finally allowed through the door by an attractive yet robust uniformed Police Constable, by the name of Roxanne Kincaid-Smith.

Just the size and shape that excited Marty’s senses the most but although after a cursory glance he established she ticked most of his boxes, he reminded himself that he no longer indulged in the sport of chasing female officers.

Boris was relieved when they finally got past the grumpy Sergeant on the front desk.

“I’m sorry about Sgt Orr” she said “He can be a bit of a ….”

“Dinosaur” Boris suggested

“Neanderthal” Marty offered

“Moron” The DI added

“Arse” Marty said bluntly

“Well I was going to say Tartar” Roxanne said “but if the cap fits”
The light-hearted banter that accompanied them as Roxanne
escorted them up to CID improved Boris’s mood no end.

But when they finally arrived at their destination they came upon a sight that improved it even more because waiting by the door to greet them was a familiar face.

“Sticky!” the two men said in unison

Boris and Marty had known DC Richard Deacon when he was a wet behind the ears PC at Abbottsford.

He was now a Detective Constable twenty-nine years old, six feet tall and was still pencil thin.

In fact when they first knew him he was so thin he was known as the stick insect hence the nickname of “Sticky”.

Deacon and Roxanne momentarily exchanged a look and Boris said

“Thanks Roxanne” and Police Constable Kincaid-Smith returned to her duties.

“I didn’t know you were in Sharpington” Boris said shaking Deacons hand “The last I heard you were in Purplemere”

“I transferred here two years ago” he responded

“Come on then introduce me to the troops”

The DI said “Point out the dead wood as we go”

“We don’t have any” Deacon remarked “They’re a good bunch”

“Are you up to full strength?” DS Griffin asked

“No we’re two down actually” he replied “one medically retired and one on gardening leave”

“Well I like to promote from within so as you’ve been here two years and I trust your judgement jot me down half a dozen names worth looking at” Boris said

“And a list of the ones we wouldn’t want foisted onto us” Griffin added quietly

 

After DC Deacon had shown them around and introduced them to those officer who were not out and about on the streets of Sharpington, Boris and Marty settled into their respective berths and took a look at the list of open cases in order to get a feel for what criminality was happening on their new turf.  

With it being a holiday resort, which attracted large numbers of visitors, it also attracted pick pockets, car thieves, muggers and burglars.

They also looked at the dispersal of resources and tried to prioritise them towards the problem areas unfortunately they were spread too thin.

Boris came out of his office later that day and called Marty Griffin and DC Deacon over.

“Do you remember the spate of pickpocketing we had at the Phoenix Shopping Centre one Christmas in Abbottsford?”

“Yes” they both agreed

“And do you remember how we cracked it?” he asked

It was a big spree at the time and a large number of women had either their pockets picked or bags stolen while visiting the Phoenix shopping Centre.

Interviews were conducted and information collated and nothing leapt out at them.

But one of the DC’s, Grace Suddaby used all the information collected and compiled a crime map of the Phoenix Shopping Centre, logging various markers such as the location the theft was discovered, shops visited prior to the discovery and the place where they were 100 percent sure they still had the stolen item and with that information Grace’s computer model managed to isolate the crime hotspot to the second floor.

“A crime map” Marty said

“Exactly” Boris said “And that’s exactly what we need here, a crime map to show us where to focus our efforts”

“Good idea guv” Deacon said

“But the problem is Grace is now running her own squad in Northchapel”

“I know so we need someone who’s extremely computer literate to collate the information and give us a working crime map showing us the crime hotspots” Boris said “So, Sticky, do we have such a person in Sharpington?”

 “Yes sir we do” he replied “in fact you met her this morning”

So the next day PC Kincaid-Smith began her secondment to CID and began work on the crime map.  

 

It wasn’t until Thursday afternoon that Boris and Marty got to meet Superintendent Keith Tilbry, although Marty didn’t really consider that he had met the Superintendent who didn’t make eye contact and barely even acknowledge the DS’s existence.

Marty took the hint and excused himself and left, closing the door behind him leaving the two of them in Inspector Katarski’s office.

“Look Katarski I’m sorry to dump this in your lap on your first week” The Superintendent began “But we have something of a hot potato”

He handed Boris a file which Boris opened and read.

The file contained a letter of complaint regarding an alleged incident at the Sharpington Day Parade more than a week earlier on Bank Holiday Monday.

The complaint was that three youths "blacked up" as golliwogs for the town's charity parade of decorated floats.

“I want you to investigate it as a priority” the superintendent said

“Seriously?” Boris retorted

“Yes, seriously” he snapped “There has been a complaint”

“One complaint out of the thousands who attended the event and you want me to prioritise my resources to do what exactly?”

“To identify the three youths” Tilbry said “It is your job to investigate crimes after all”

 

“What crime?” Boris asked “And how do we know they’re even youths?”

The Superintendent then handed him a copy of the Sharpington Courier

“Page 5” Tilbry barked

There was a picture from the event showing three individuals all with black curly wigs, black faces with white circles around their eyes. All were wearing typical golliwog or minstrel costumes of red, white and blue.

It also claimed that the picture was of two females and one male although Boris thought it looked like three girls.

“It all seems rather innocent to me sir” he said “And as for being youths those three could just as easily be in their sixties”

“Innocent?” Tilbry barked “I want them found and I want them dealt with”

“But No crime has been committed” Boris pointed out

“It’s not illegal to dress up as minstrels”

“There were another group of youths dressed as the Jackson 5” the Superintendent said indignantly

“Which is also not a crime” Boris pointed out

“It has caused offence” Tilbry shouted

“To one person sir” Boris replied

“And what were the golliwog trio and the Jackson 5 doing exactly?”

“They were collecting money for charity” Tilbry replied

“And you want me to arrest them for that?” Boris asked “We will be a laughing stock”

“I want them found” Tilbry repeated

“Our resources are spread thin enough as it is with the pick pockets and burglars I cannot commit resource to a PR exercise.

I will send my Sgt to speak to the journalist who published the story and ask if they have any further information, and he can speak to the organisers but that’s as far as it goes”

“Damn the pick pockets and damn the burglars” Superintendent yelled “Find me those Golliwogs”

He then stormed out of Katarski’s office and slammed the door.

 

“You made an impression then guv?” Marty asked when Boris immerged from his office

“Why is it that all senior officers are idiots?” Boris countered

“That’s life I’m afraid but don’t upset yourself guv” Marty said “We still respect you”

“Cheeky bastard” he retorted

 

DI Katarski explained at length the nature of his discussion with Superintendent Tilbry and the “Golliwog Gate” incident and tasked Marty to go and speak with the journalist and the organisers the next day.

“Oh guv” he protested and DC Deacon laughed

“And you can go with him to make sure he doesn’t get lost” Boris added

“But what about the collating?” Deacon protested

“Roxanne is quite capable of doing the collating on her own” The DI said and from across the office PC Kincaid-Smith was heard to titter although in truth she was unaware of the enquiry’s they were making having only heard the tail end of the conversation.

“Did you say something Roxanne?” Boris called to her

“No guv just clearing my throat” she replied

 

Their first port of call the next morning was the Sharpington Pier where he had arranged to meet Molly Westwood who was the Journalist at the Sharpington Courier who wrote the Golliwog piece.

 

Griffin and Deacon left the station about half an hour earlier than they needed to as Marty needed to pick up his notes from his room at the Seaview Hotel.

The walk down from the station to the Seafront only took about five minutes and another five to the Hotel, Marty was in and out in ten minutes and then the walk along to the Pier was another ten.

As they made their way along the promenade to the Pier Marty reminisced about his youth and the long happy hours he’d spent in seaside towns and how a Pier was always such a magical place, it didn’t matter which town he was in.

“When I was 14 I had my first kiss on a Pier” Marty said and smiled at the memory “Linda McMahon her name was”

“On this Pier?” Deacon asked

“No, Blackpool” he replied

They milled around in the crowd by the entrance for a few minute before making their way along the Pier in the sunshine.

Marty was awash with memories of his youth and had almost forgotten why he was there until Sticky said

“That’s her standing by the rail”

He looked over to the rail and saw a tall statuesque thirty something woman, amply proportioned with wavy chestnut hair blowing in the sea breeze. 

“Ok let me go and have a word with her on my own for five minutes” Marty said “Then come over”

“Ok” Deacon agreed and Marty sauntered towards her

“Ms Westwood?” he enquired

“Miss” she replied and gave him a broad grin

“I never get it right” he said and laughed

“It’s not a problem, shall we sit on the bench?” she suggested and he nodded in ascent

“So you’re the new Sergeant” she said once they were seated

“Yes Marty Griffin”

“I’ve heard a lot about you” she said “and your boss Boris”

“So what have you heard?” he asked

“Now that would be telling” she replied playfully

“Don’t tell me you never reveal your sources” he said

“Not normally but I can this time” Molly said with a smile “I heard it from my sister Kelly who works for your bosses wife at the florists”

“I see, then I don’t think I want to know what you’ve heard” He said

“Don’t worry your secret is safe with me” Molly assured him

“But not with your sister apparently” he said

“No she’s a real loose lipped bint” Molly said and roared with laughter.

 

Marty was enjoying his chat with Molly in the warm sunshine, she wasn’t like the journalists he was used to, and he almost forgot why he was there.

“Any particular reason why you wanted to meet here?” he asked

“Well first of all I like the Pier” she said “Piers are special places”

“I agree, I had my first kiss on a Pier with Linda McMahon when I was 14” Marty said and smiled at the memory

“Not on this Pier though?” Molly asked

“No, Blackpool” he replied “I have not kissed anyone on Sharpington Pier”

“The day is young” she replied and blushed like she was 14 for saying what she was thinking out loud and inside her head she chastised herself.

“Why on earth did you say that? No wonder your single”

Noticing her discomfort Marty decided to come to her rescue, but when the enquiries were concluded he thought he might like to kiss her on the Pier.

“So what was the second reason?” he asked

“Oh yes” she said quickly trying to compose herself

“Yes secondly I wanted to be able to speak freely and I couldn’t have done that in the office”

“Really?”

“Yes the whole thing about the Golliwog story has been a bit odd” she explained

“How so?”

“Well to be honest the paper normally just prints a big photo spread of the Parade so I wasn’t going to write anything much about the day, other than about the success of the fundraising, there was nothing else to write about.

The weather was perfect, the people turned out in their droves, no one overdosed on candy floss, and I rather enjoyed the whole day so I wasn’t really looking for the negatives” she explained

“Oh dear that sounded a bit racist”

“No you’re ok, I’m not from the Political Correctness Police” He said and she laughed

“So on the day did you see them for yourself?” he continued

“No not a glimpse” she replied “I did see the Jackson 5”

“Did you?”

“Yes but to tell the truth I thought they were black” Molly replied

“So what brought that into doubt?” he asked

“Well apparently it was much later in the day when they were getting into a car and one of the girls took her wig off to reveal blonde hair and a white scalp” she replied

“That could just be Chinese whispers though”

“Any details on the car?” he asked

“I’m afraid not” she confessed

“So what changed your mind about writing the story?” Marty asked

“My editor” Molly said

“He told you to write the piece?”

“Yes he was most insistent” she said crossly

“Any particular reason why he was so adamant?” Marty asked

“No not really but I got the impression he was pressuring me because someone was doing the same to him” she mused

“And where did the photo come from?” he asked

“From my editor”

“And where did he get it?” He enquired

“He wouldn’t say, but if I had to make a guess I would say from the same person who was on his back” she replied

“You don’t seem very happy about it” he said

“I’m not” She retorted “I don’t like people telling me what to write about”

“Well if it makes you feel any better I don’t like having to investigate it any more than you liked writing about it” He said

“It doesn’t, but thank you”

“Well thanks for your time Molly” he said “I’m very grateful for your candour”

“And I am grateful for the opportunity to have met you Miss Westwood” he said to himself

“Oh my pleasure” she said “I’m sure we will run into each other again”

“I hope so” he said and she blushed like she was 14, again

 

DS Marty Griffin left Molly Westwood sitting on a bench on the pier and was almost back on the promenade before he remembered he had walked to the Pier with DC Deacon who was supposed to have joined him in the interview after five minutes but he never appeared, not that he noticed.

He took his phone out and rang him.

“Sticky! Where are you?”

 

It turned out that while he was waiting in the wings he got a tip from a guy called Vivek Chopra who worked at one of the arcades regarding the pick pockets.

 

Their next port of call was the home of Jayne Keeling, who chaired the Sharpington Day Parade Fundraising Committee, so after returning briefly to the station they drove to Dulcet St Mary to her rather plush country cottage.

On the journey Marty recounted his interview with Molly Westwood.

“It sounds to me like something and nothing but someone is trying to stir things up”

Deacon said

“I agree” Marty concurred and asked

“What do you know about Molly Westwood?”

“In what way?”

“I mean is she reliable” Marty said

“You mean is she available” Deacon said

“No” he retorted “Well maybe”

“Well that would be a yes to both questions then” Sticky replied as they pull up onto the gravelled drive and parked outside Mrs Keeling’s Cottage.

 

Jayne Keeling was a tall elegant woman in her late fifties and clearly spent more money on beauty treatments and manicures that Marty earned in a year but she was not an unpleasant woman.

“So when did you hear about the incident?” DS Griffin asked as they sat in her conservatory.

“Not until the article appeared in the paper” she replied “I had a number of phone calls after that from committee members who were being badgered by people claiming to be concerned about people dressing up as Golliwogs and the Jackson Five”

“And what was your reaction?” Griffin asked

“To tell the truth” she said lowering her voice “I laughed, is that terrible?”

“I couldn’t possibly comment” he retorted but he smiled

“Do you have any idea who any of the culprits are?”

“No none whatsoever, we do know everyone who took part but there were hundreds of participants” She replied

“So how does it work?” Deacon asked

“Volunteers for the Parade register to participate on the night before, where they also pick up their collection tins. The majority of them are obviously in fancy dress, though that is optional, however committee members are not told in advance what they plan to dress up as on the day”

“So in theory they could all turn up in, for example Nazi uniforms and the committee wouldn’t know?” Boris asked

“That’s correct, although that would be a very sinister Parade and I can’t imagine the collection tins being very full, and that is the point of the whole day, charity” she said

"But if we start dictating to people what they can or cannot come dressed as it could deter them from volunteering, especially if they had to produce a picture of what they were planning to wear on the day”

“Were all the collecting tins returned at the end of the day?” DS Griffin asked

“Yes all of them were accounted for” she replied “So they probably had alternative outfits or merely discarded their costumes and completed the parade in their everyday clothes” 

“You’re probable right” Marty said “Well thank you very much for your time”

“You are quite welcome” she said affably

“Just one other question” Marty said as he approached the door “Was the day a success?”

“Absolutely” she replied “Our best year yet”

“In which case I wouldn’t bother changing the way you do things the public clearly like it the way it is” He said

“I agree” Jayne said

“You might want to contact Molly Westwood at the Courier” He said “I have a feeling she’s looking for a “good news” story for next week’s edition”

“I will do that” she said “Goodbye”

 

Later that day DS Griffin and DC Deacon sat in DI Katarski’s office and briefed him on the salient points from the two interviews earlier in the day.

“So basically what you’re telling me is that it was a harmless bit of fun but somebody in a position of influence wants to make a mountain out of a molehill for reason or reasons unknown”

Boris Katarski said

“That about sums it up guv” Marty said

“And there’s no hope of finding the culprits” DC Deacon added

“I called Molly Westwood last night and asked her what kind of feedback the paper received on her article?” Marty said

“And?” Katarski asked

“A few “appalled” and “disgusted” but the vast majority saying it was just a bit of fun and they didn’t understand what all the fuss was about” he replied

“So public opinion is on the side of reason, but the problem is Superintendent Tilbry isn’t going to let us drop it” Boris mused

“So what do we do?” Deacon asked

“We have to get him to make us drop it” he replied

“How do we do that?” Marty asked

“You need to get better acquainted with the reporter” he replied

“Oh I think he was planning to do that anyway” Deacon remarked

“Good” Boris said

 

Marty made a phone call and arranged to meet Molly by the entrance to the Pier when she finished work.

This gave him sufficient time to go back to the Seaview Hotel and get washed and changed and still be there before she was.

“Hello Sergeant” Molly said and she approached.

“Call me Marty” he said “I’m off duty”

“Oh I thought this was a follow up on the Golliwog hunt”

“No not really” he responded

“Have you eaten?”

“No I haven’t” Molly replied

“Would you like to?”

“Very much so” she replied
“Excellent, I believe there is a nice fish restaurant at the end of the Pier” Marty said

“Yes there is, it’s one of my favourites”

 

As they walked along the Pier in the moonlight Molly asked

“How is your investigation going?”

“Well it’s funny you should mention that” he replied

“We don’t think it’s worth pursuing”

“It really has been a lot of fuss about nothing hasn’t it” Molly added

“Yes but every cloud has a silver lining because if your editor and my Superintendent hadn’t been so insistent about it I wouldn’t have had the chance to meet you” Marty said

“Oh don’t you’ll make me blush again” she said

“I hope so” he said “It was very endearing”

“Stop it now” she said and giggled “I’m not a teenager anymore I’m thirty….”

“Thirty what?”

“Thirtyish” she replied coyly

“Let’s get back to the investigation”

“Well as I said we don’t think it’s worth pursuing any further but the powers that be, do”

“So what’s to be done?” she asked

“Well before I can answer that I need to check, that in the fine journalistic tradition, that you never reveal your sources” he whispered

“Of course” she said

“Good, then you didn’t get this from me” he said and handed her and envelope

“Very intriguing” Molly remarked and slipped it into her bag

“So was that the sole purpose of the assignation?”

“No not at all” he replied and turned to face her “I believe there was some tacit agreement to kissing me on the Pier”

“There was no such thing” she protested

“On the contrary” he said taking out his note book “in response to my stating I had never kissed anyone on Sharpington Pier you said, and I quote, “The day is young””

“Ok I admit that I did say that” she replied “but I have no idea why I said it”

“I do” he said slipping his notebook back into his pocket

“Oh”

“You said it because you want to kiss me” Marty said

“You’re very sure of yourself”

“Am I wrong then?” Marty asked

“No” she replied and kissed him on the moonlit Pier

 

When they eventually got to the restaurant and were seated in a quiet corner by a window with a view across the sea they ordered drinks and Molly excused herself to the ladies where she could discretely read the contents of the envelope Marty had given her.

 

“Well?” Marty asked when she returned to the table

“I can definitely work with that” she replied

“Excellent”

“I will have to run it past my editor though” she said “I can’t print it without his say so”

“And what happens if he says no?”

“Then I’ll file it with the Clarion, they’ll print it” Molly said “They love any opportunity to have a go at the police”

She was referring to the Abbottsford Clarion which was a red top tabloid that took great pleasure in rubbishing the police and Marty had been on the receiving end of its bile on many occasions.

“Don’t I know it” He retorted and winced

 

Molly’s editor did indeed pass on the story but as expected The Clarion accepted without hesitation so when Sunday morning came, so did the revelations.

Under the banner headline of “Police Turn a Blind Eye to Pickpockets”

The story went on to reveal how an unnamed, yet Senior Police officer had shouted at his juniors

“Damn the pick pockets and damn the burglars, find me those Golliwogs”

The article was filled with quotes from members of the public who had very different expectation of the police and were bemused at the waste of resources on what was little more than a student prank.

 

The fallout from the story came in the form of a phone call from the Assistant Chief Constable just after 9 o’clock on Monday morning.

“I have no idea how the story leaked out sir” Boris said

“It was said very loudly and in easy earshot of a dozen people”

“Well drop the Golliwog nonsense immediately and catch those pickpockets”

The ACC said

“We have them in custody already” Boris said

“What?”

“We caught the crew of six on Saturday afternoon after identifying a hotspot on the crime map” 

“Well that’s good news at least” The ACC said begrudgingly

“So should we carry on looking for the Golliwogs?” Boris asked

“NO, under no circumstances are you to investigate that incident”

“Understood sir” Boris said and hung up the phone

 

Boris emerged from his office wearing a broad grin and announced to the office at large

“Mark the Golliwog case as closed, and if anyone is interested a vacancy has just opened up for a Superintendent”

A small ripple of applause spread around the office and Richard Deacon walked over to where Roxanne was sitting and gave her shoulder a quick squeeze.

 

The sound of office chatter regarding Superintendent Tilbry’s transfer was still the pervading sound as the phone in his office rang.

Expecting it to be another disgruntled senior officer he braced himself and went back inside to answer it.

He emerged a few moments later and his complexion was ashen.

“What’s wrong guv?” Roxanne asked as the first one to notice his demeanour, but soon all eyes were on him

“Lizzie’s collapsed at the shop” he replied

“Come on then let’s get down there then” Marty said and led him out of the office.

Although “Bizzie Lizzie’s” was only a short walk from the station they took the car, just in case.

As it turned out they were right to do so as the ambulance had already left for The Royal Downshire Hospital in Purplemere.

 

It was a relatively short drive from Sharpington to Purplemere but for Boris it seemed like an eternity.

And when Marty pulled up outside Boris decamped and sprinted inside while Marty parked the car.

 

Inside the Hospital Boris found Lizzie sitting up on her bed smiling from ear to ear.

“I don’t why you’re looking so pleased with yourself” he said crossly “I’ve been worried sick”

“I’m fine darling” she replied as he hugged and kissed her

“What do you mean you’re fine? You collapsed” he said with concern

“I didn’t collapse silly” She said “I fainted”

“Well that’s just semantics” Boris snapped

“It’s not semantics darling it’s just what happens sometimes when you’re pregnant”

“Well people don’t faint for no reason” he said fussing around her

“What did you say?”

“I’m pregnant” Lizzie said

 

It took an age for Marty to find a parking space and so he was rushing down the corridor to find Boris and met him coming the other way wiping tears from his eyes.

“Oh my God she’s died” he thought

“Guv what’s happened?” He asked with concern

“A miracle has happened” he replied enigmatically

“I’m going to be a father”

I THOUGHT MY HEART WAS BROKEN

 

I thought my heart was broken

On the day she said goodbye

I loved her so much

I loved her too much

All my friends said

“You’re better off without her”

“Plenty more fish in the sea”

But I wasn’t so sure

 

I thought my heart was broken

But in the end I was mistaken

Though I felt pain

I don’t want to feel again

My friends were right

I was better off without her

And there were more fish in the sea

Of that I was assured

 

I thought my heart was broken

On the day she said goodbye

But it was not you see

And if she had not left me

Then my friends, the matchmakers

Would not have trawled the seas

And found the perfect girl for me

My future is now secured

Tales from the Finchbottom Vale – (13) Familial Relativity

 Jonathon Masters felt as if his star was in the ascendency, his Web Design Business had finally taken off and he had landed a couple of plum contracts, one of which was a magazine publisher and the other was with the Big Cyril’s betting shop chain. However the news about his business’s new found success was not universally well received, his staff liked it, his bank manager was ecstatic about it but his mother was disgusted by it.

Furthermore his darling supportive mother said she would rather tell people he was in prison than tell them that he worked for pornographers and degenerates.

 

Jonathon lived alone on the outskirts of Forestdean at the Shallowfield end.

It was once a row of three forester’s cottages which had at some time been knocked into one to make a family sized house.

It was a very “nice” part of the village and certainly not somewhere he could have afforded to buy for himself even with the success of the business.

He was fortunate enough to live in a nice property in the well-heeled end of the village due the sudden if not altogether unsurprising death of his Uncle Jon.

Jon Coulson had no family of his own and had managed to alienate most of his extended family mainly because he was a “good time Charlie”, a hard drinking womanizer with the morals of an alley cat, so he had no one to inherit after his premature death, so as Jonathon was his favourite nephew he left it to him.

 

Because Jonathon was a single man he had far more space than he needed for himself so he decided to give up his tiny office space in Abbottsford and run his business from Kingfisher Cottage.

It was only him in the office most of the time as the four people who worked for him all worked from home anyway.

They only went to the office once or twice a month so after he closed the office they went to Forestdean instead.   

 

It suited him living alone in a quiet village, he wasn’t really a people person, and he kept his human interactions down to a minimum.

At 30 years of age his mother would have preferred him to have found himself a good woman to settle down with who would make him find a proper job.

But he had tried a proper job and the good woman and neither of them had worked out to his liking.

His only regular interactions with human beings were Rafa and Mirabel, his gardener and his cleaner, who were a middle-aged couple who seemed to work for half the people in the village, his monthly meetings with his staff and the occasional visit to his clients and there were trips to the Post Office and General Store other than that he communicated only with cyber space.

 

It was on a Friday, also known as gardening day, when Rafa did the garden that someone threw a rock into the tranquil pond that was his life.

So it was in the morning while he was making a cup of coffee and staring through the window watching the wiry Rafa pick up a planter as if it were made of polystyrene that the phone rang.

“Oh shit,” Jonathon said reading the caller ID.

“Hi mum, it’s really lovely to hear from you,” he said with as much sincerity as he could muster

“Hello Jonathon, you’re not getting any better at that are you dear? Listen I’ll get straight to the point, Auntie Leslie and Uncle Roland have asked if you could put Gemma up for a week, and I said yes on your behalf”

“You did what?” He said shocked

“You remember Gemma, you were inseparable when you were kids” she continued oblivious to his protest.

“Yes I do remember her but why the hell did you do that” He shouted

“Calm down Jonathon, for goodness sake, stop making such a fuss, she is family after all, and how bad can it be?”

She wasn’t family actually, the Auntie and Uncle in front of Leslie and Roland’s names were purely honorary titles, the Hughes family were just extremely close friends of his parents.

“The girl is doing a two week long secondment at O’Sullivan and Springthorpe and it will save her the cost of a Hotel” she continued

“But it’s not convenient” He protested

“It will interfere with my work”

“For goodness sake Jonathon you’re a web site designer, it’s not as if you’re close to curing cancer” she retorted

“You’ll have to call them back and say no,” he said firmly

“I can’t possibly do that; it will make me look foolish” she snapped

“But it’s really going to cramp my style” he said

“You haven’t got any style Jonathon especially since you started working for pornographers and degenerates” his mum retorted

“Now listen Jonathon this will really help to cement family relations, you know how bad things have been between the families, and how strained and difficult it’s been since Uncle John impregnated Roland’s sister Lucy”

“Look apart from the short notice and the inconvenience” He explained, “I don’t really want a stranger in the house”

“Nonsense she’s hardly a stranger you used to get on really well when you were children” his mum said

“But I haven’t seen her for 10 years” he responded, but he knew he was fighting a losing battle

“Gemma will be no trouble at all she was always a nice girl and you’ll hardly see her anyway” his mum said

“But she’s a stranger now” he pointed out

“She’s arriving Saturday,” she said hurriedly

“But” he interrupted

“Must dash, Bye” and she was gone.

“Bollocks” He said and put down the phone.

 

He spent the rest of the day wondering how he was going to cope with Gemma in his house, he even considered going to stay in a Hotel for the two weeks.

His Mum was right he and Gemma did get on well when they were kids, she was five years younger than him and yes there was a time when they were inseparable.

But what mum didn’t know was that when he was seventeen the 12-year-old Gemma tried to kiss him and that was only the first time, she tried kissing him at every opportunity until when she was 14 he found her half naked in his bed.

He didn’t know quite how her behavior might have escalated after that incident had fate not taken a hand.

And he was mightily relieved when Uncle Jon got Roland’s sister Lucy pregnant and the Masters and the Hughes stopped spending holidays together.

Now thanks to his interfering mother she was going to be staying under his roof for two weeks which was going to be quite embarrassing for both of them.

 

Saturday came and Uncle Roland and Aunty Leslie arrived to drop Gemma off, and it was a reunion totally lacking even an ounce of warmth, he offered them both a drink but they declined, and he was not disappointed when they did, as it meant they didn’t intend to stay long and he was right because five minutes later they kissed their daughter goodbye before perfunctorily thanking Jonathon for helping out and all at once they were gone leaving Gemma and him quite alone apart that is for the rather large elephant in the room.

As he suspected there was a palpable awkwardness between them and he got the distinct impression that she wasn’t any happier being his houseguest than he was to be her host.

Gemma was still as pretty as she was when he last saw her but she had lost the puppy fat of her teenage years and she was taller now about 5ft 6 with shoulder length blond hair.

He found himself thinking that it was a shame that she’d gone all “Bunny Boiler” on him as a teen.

But he wasn’t a shallow person he didn’t reject her advances because she was a little overweight, he always thought she was very cute, it was never about her physical form.

It was just that they were so very close and although there was no blood tie between them he always saw Gemma as more like a sister than a partner.

“Its very kind of you to do this” she said “Thank you”

“No problem” He lied

Then followed the first of the embarrassed silences as they stood together in the kitchen without the first idea what to talk about.

“Look I’ll give you a quick tour, show you where everything is, settle you in your room and then I’m afraid I need to get some work done, I have a deadline fast approaching” He lied again.

“Sure, I have some studying I need to do before Monday,” she said unconvincingly and then there was another embarrassed silence.

“Spare key” He said pointing to the table “just come and go as you please”

“Thanks Jonathon” she said

“You have the run of the house except my…” He began careful not to say bedroom “Office, that’s a definite no go”

She nodded her understanding and so he gave her the tour and carried her bag to her room.

“And this is your room, bathroom is next door, and I’m sorry but I really have to get on now” and he quickly turned and walked away.

“Thanks again” she called after him, and he was sure he heard her let out a sigh of relief.

Gemma was just as relieved as he was that the awkwardness was over and was equally happy that they would be seeing as little as possible of each other.

 

Gemma had exclusive use of the bathroom next to her room as Jonathon had an en suite so they managed very well to avoid one another, the occasional meeting on the stairs, a coincidental clash in the kitchen, contact minimal, conversation likewise, embarrassed silences kept to a bare minimum.

That was until Wednesday when they both happened to be going out the front door at the same time and although they both desperately wanted to; neither of them could, either think of an excuse to go back or didn’t have the time to, so they ended up walking into the village together.

The conversation was forced and painful and was littered with their stock in trade, the embarrassed silence, and they both sighed when they reached the parting of the ways, him towards the post office and her towards the railway station.

 

Although Jonathon was very content with his life and could fulfill the majority of his needs via the internet, there was one thing that could only be experienced in the flesh, ok there were two things but the primary one for Jonathon was the cinema.

There was nothing in cyberspace that could substitute for the pleasure of sitting in the darkened cinema to watch a movie on the big screen.

It was his only real concession to his way of life and while he was at the Post Office he bought a Shallowfield and Childean Chronicle which had amongst many other interesting things, the cinema listings.

He paid for his purchases and stood outside the shop and turned to the entertainment section of the paper, and smiled to himself when he read that the new Jurassic Park movie was showing at The Oasis Multiplex in Childean.

 

Later that evening he had a shower and shave and was preparing to spend the evening at the cinema to watch the latest Jurassic Park and indulge his guilty passion, when he remembered he had left his after shave in the main bathroom, he had been using the en suite since Gemma arrived for obvious reasons, but some of his things were still in there.

So he walked across the landing wearing a towel and without hesitating entered the main bathroom, walked to the sink, found his aftershave amongst all the feminine potions and powders that had appeared on the shelf and was just turning to leave as Gemma stepped naked from the shower, with water dripping from her treasures and running down her beautiful firm young body.

On reflection he knew he’d stood staring at her for longer than he should have but he struggled to draw his eyes away.

But when he realized he said,

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t think”

At which point she grabbed the towel and covered herself and he headed hurriedly out the door repeating

“Sorry, sorry, I’m so sorry” Until he reached the sanctuary of his bedroom.

He took his towel off and began dressing and all the while he was muttering to himself.

“Oh fantastic, that’s just what I need, as if having her in the house hasn’t been awkward enough, I have to see her naked”

He pulled his trousers up and added

“I don’t know what you were thinking just wandering in there, and did you have to stand and stare for quite so long?”

He sat down on the bed and began to pull his sock on.

“She was like your bloody sister” He said and then attended to his other sock

“And there you stood for God knows how long with your eyes sticking out like chapel hat pegs staring at her treasures”

He continued muttering to himself as he slipped his shoes on and as he opened the bedroom door he saw Gemma emerge from the bathroom all dry, perfumed and powdered and wearing a dressing gown.

“I’m…” he started to say but he felt himself flush and he was unable to finish the sentence and hurried down the stairs and straight out the front door more than half an hour earlier than he needed to, so he sat in the car and muttered to himself some more.

 

When he arrived at the Oasis Centre in Childean he was still quite early so he parked in the multistory and decided to go and have a drink in the theatre bar but went to the box office first as it was on his way, and he was grateful that he had because there were only a handful of tickets left for that performance so he chose the only aisle seat left. 

 

Despite getting to Childean 45 minutes early he almost missed the start of the film.

He had been sitting in the bar nursing a pint and trying, and failing, to get the naked images of Gemma out of his head and just when he thought they were gone they appeared again in full technicolor.

Quite apt really technicolored images at a multiplex though the irony was lost on him.

He ended up having to run to the cinema and the auditorium was in darkness when he went in and an usher showed him to his seat which he did with about 10 seconds to spare.

 

The film was every bit as good as he had hoped it would be and was enjoying it immensely to the point that it completely purged his mind of the naked images that had plagued him earlier.

He was so completely engrossed in the film everything else was excluded so when the creature struck even though he knew it was coming, he couldn’t help himself and he almost jumped out of his seat as did the person next to him.

His heart was in his mouth and he laughed when he got his breath back and when he turned to look at his neighbor he realized he was sitting next to Gemma.

Which gave him an almost bigger surprise than the film did but he relaxed when he realized firstly that he wasn’t hallucinating and secondly that she wasn’t naked.

“Oh Hello” she whispered

“Hi” he replied “I didn’t know you were coming”

“Well I wasn’t dressed for the cinema the last time you saw me”

She said and smiled

He returned her smile and then they returned their attention to the film.

 

There was no further conversation between them as they enjoyed the rest of the film but when the credits rolled and houselights came up and patrons began to head for the exits Gemma asked

“Did you enjoy it?”

“I did” he replied “It certainly lived up to my expectations, what about you?” 

“It was better for me” she replied “I was a bit of a cynic”

“Really?”

“Yes I thought it was just going to cash in on the franchise, but I was wrong” Gemma explained

There was a short embarrassed silence as they slowly filed out through the exit until, against his better judgement, he said

“Can I offer you a lift?”

“No, I don’t want to impose” she replied

“You’re already imposing by staying in my house” he said to himself, but he kind of felt obliged to offer her a lift home.

“Nonsense” he said “It’s not like I’m going out of my way”

“Well you don’t have to” she said “but thanks”

 

On the journey home the conversation was strained and Jonathon began to wish he had trusted his judgement.

Converse consisted of general small talk with each one struggling to find something to say and then when they were within 2 miles of their destination a Muntjac Deer leapt out from the forest and straight across the road in front of the car.

Jonathon reacted quickly and swerved to avoid the deer but in doing so two wheels mounted the soft verge and he lost control and the car came to rest in a ditch.

After he had got his wits back he checked on his passenger who was on the side of the car that bore the brunt of the impact.

“Are you ok?” he asked

“Yes, yes, I’m fine” she replied “I just banged my head a bit”

He gave her head a cursory check but could see no blood,

So happy that she was not injured he tried to drive out of the ditch but it was to no avail and he resigned himself to the fact they would have to walk the last mile and a half or so.

The car was lying at a 45 degree angle with two wheels in the ditch so with some difficulty he got out of the car.

Once he was out he held the door open with his body and offered his hand to Gemma.

She took his hand and he pulled her slowly out of the car.

Once outside the vehicle they still needed to get up to the road which was about ten yards away up a gently sloping grass bank.

The problem was the grass was wet under foot and neither of the were dressed appropriately for climbing out of ditches so as they climbed gingerly up the bank they took it in turns to fall over on the muddy grass.

Time and time again they had to help each other up until Jonathon finally got one foot on firmer ground.

But before Gemma could do likewise she stumbled and as Jonathon tried to catch her they both fell to the floor and as they sat on the wet grass laughing like children Gemma took her chance and kissed him.

And unlike her previous attempts during her adolescence she met with no resistance.

“I’ve wanted to do that since I was 12” Gemma said when she came up for air and laughed before kissing him again

“Was that worth waiting 12 years for?”

“Oh God yes” she replied

“Even if you’d fancied me back when I was 12 it wouldn’t have been a kiss like that” she said and licked her lips “Not when we were only kids”

“I never said I didn’t fancy you” he pointed out

“Then why did you react the way you did when I tried to kiss you?” she asked but before he had chance to respond she added

“And that last time when you found me in your bedroom?”

“In my bed” he corrected her

“Alright in your bed” she conceded

“Naked in my bed” He corrected her again

“Half naked” she snapped “I had pants on and a bra”

“Why a bra? You were flat chested when you were 14” he asked

“Ok I admit it, the bra was purely cosmetic” she said “But why?”

“You were like my kid sister” he said

“What do you mean?” she asked

So he told her the whole story, all about the feelings he had for her, how he thought she was cute and why he acted as he did.

And after digesting all of what he had told her she said  

“So let me get this right, it wasn’t that you didn’t fancy me when you so cruelly rejected my advances, it was because you thought of me as a sister?”

“Yes” he replied

There was a prolonged silence then she spoke

“And now?”

“Not so much” Jonathon mused

“Which part?”

“The sister part”

“Oh” she responded and he kissed her.

“So what do we do now?” she asked

“Well I think we should get up off the wet grass and go home and discuss it some more” he replied

“Will that involve kissing?” Gemma asked

“Undoubtedly” he replied as he got to his feet and offered her his hand

“Then I heartily concur” Gemma responded and took his hand.

BETRAYAL

 

In your dark betrayal, you have destroyed

Everything in my life that mattered

What I thought was solid, is now gone

Because of you our love was shattered

Like a thousand mirrored fragments

Each precious memory now scattered

Reflects back all those moments of deceit

My self-respect left torn and tattered

Monday, 11 April 2022

Tales from the Finchbottom Vale – (12) The Girl in the Poppy Print Dress

 

The day began very early for Jerry as he reluctantly prepared to leave the arms of his lover, it was first light and the dawn chorus was in full voice.

His real name was Julius Jeremiah Damien Quinton-Snape, which he always thought was like something out of Charles Dickens novel with a hint of Hogwarts thrown in for good measure, he thought he would probably be a villain though knowing his luck.

He hated his name, Julius was so old fashioned, and he also hated Damien because of its association with the antichrist, so he used his middle name Jeremiah which he didn’t like very much better but he shortened it to Jerry and everyone assumed falsely that it was short for Jeremy, but he didn’t enlighten them.

As he prepared to slip out of her bed she rolled over and put her arm across his chest.

“Don’t go Jez” she implored

“I have to Marti” he replied “I’ve got a long drive ahead of me”

They were in her room at the Seaview Hotel in Sharpington-By-Sea where she was staying for the Easter Weekend with a group of friends.

“Oh stay a bit longer” she begged and she kissed his chest

“I wish I could honey” he said as he kissed her on the forehead.

He really did want to stay with her but he had a wedding to go to in Abbottsford, a family wedding to boot, that required his attendance, on pain of death according to his mother.

He picked up her phone from the bedside table and tapped in his own number, and sent a text to himself so they then both had each other’s numbers.

Although he had to leave she and her friend’s weren’t leaving until Monday.

 

He had only met her the day before and he’d fallen head over heels for her at first sight.

Jerry arrived in Sharpington-By-Sea on Thursday for a stag do and he had met Marti, the girl in the poppy print dress on Friday morning at a coffee shop on the pier.

He was preparing for the long drive home with an Americana to go and she was in front of him ordering a Macchiato but they got talking and sat and drank their coffees at a table outside and ended up spending the whole day together, and the night.

They hit it off immediately and it was like they’d known each other all their lives.

 

It was funny how thing worked out he hadn’t gone to Sharpington to meet someone, in fact if truth be told he hadn’t really wanted to go at all, he wasn’t particularly close to the groom, but he was family and according to his mother that was what counted.

But having met someone, which was unexpected in itself, everything that followed was not only unexpected in was completely out of character.

He was not the sort of person to do things on a whim, he was an accountant and therefore by definition a planner.

Very definitely not a make it up as you go along kind of guy.

Nor was he the sleep with the first girl you meet type of guy so the event’s in Sharpington on the Good Friday were quite significant for him, and he hoped for her also.

 

On the long drive home Jerry couldn’t get Marti out of his thoughts and by the time he reached his flat in Abbottsford he was convinced that she was the one, she fitted the template perfectly, so logically she had to be the one.

He had carried the “template” with him, etched into his brain almost since the moment of his sexual awakening.

Long brown hair falling across her shoulders in generous waves, hazel eyes, intelligent, warm and full of familiarity that screwed tight shut when she laughed.

A pretty face, which hers was, pretty but at the same time full of imperfections, an aquiline nose, a small scar above her right eye, a lopsided smile and freckled cheeks.

An exquisitely defined jawline as if chiseled from marble and a strong and resolute chin.

She was also very tall, as tall as him in her heels and he was six-foot two, and slim as a willow and lithe as a dancer.

But all of that was purely superficial, just an accident of heritage, what made Marti special and by extension “the one” was that she was funny, intelligent, insightful, caring, romantic and grounded.

In fact she was so obviously the one because she ticked every single box, plus numerous other boxes that he hadn’t even known existed until he met her.

Jerry wasn’t exactly sure where that template came from but he had always had it and he had begun in recent years to wonder if he would ever meet the girl to fit it or if indeed such a girl even existed but that was before he met the girl in the poppy print dress.

 

He got back to his flat in plenty of time to change for the wedding and drive to Childean to pick up his mum who was wearing a spectacularly ridiculous hat.

The wedding at St Andrew’s Church passed off without a hitch and the reception at the Dancingdean Spa Hotel was very lavish but he spent much of that happy day in Childean wishing he was somewhere else and he cursed his luck at having to be there.

“Why did I have to meet her this weekend of all weekends” he pondered, but then if it hadn’t been that weekend he wouldn’t have been in Sharpington in the first place.

“Why didn’t I invite her to the wedding?” he asked himself

“No that wouldn’t have worked” he concluded “He wasn’t ready to introduce her to his mum, that would just frighten her away”

He decided to just feel grateful that he had met her and to look forward to the moment he would see her again.

 

However there was a fly in the ointment because although the wedding all went off according to plan there was from his point of view a distinct downside on the whole day and that was that he couldn’t get a phone signal which drove him crazy so he wasn’t able to get through to Marti at all.

 

On Sunday and Monday there were a succession of family farewells and hug fests as Jerry waved goodbye to three generations of his extended family and after the four day weekend was over it was back to work in the thrilling world of accountancy.

It seemed especially tedious on that particular Tuesday because his mind was elsewhere.

He began the day by trying to get hold of Marti on the phone again but he had no more good fortune than he done at the weekend.

 

All week long they kept missing each other on the phone and for the first half of it they communicated solely by voice mail if you can call it communication.

Marti was in lectures at Abbottsford University all week and had several approaching deadlines and for Jerry it was the financial year end for the company he worked for so Jerry was having to work late every night and spend a disproportionate amount of time in meetings with department managers, accountants and auditors.

He was reassured however that she seemed to be every bit as anxious to talk to him as he was to talk to her.

If it hadn’t been such a hellish week at work he would have driven back down to Sharpington to see her, but that wasn’t an option, firstly because he was just too busy but the main reason was because she wasn’t there.

Unfortunately he didn’t know where she was living in Abbottsford so he couldn’t go and see her there. 

So they both kept ringing one another and they both kept missing each other so by Thursday he was getting increasingly frustrated by his failure to make contact with her and he could tell by her tone that she was too.

Then he had a brain wave and he texted her his email address and then he cursed himself and his stupidity for not thinking of it earlier.

He just hoped she would see it in the same light as he did and they could finally converse and makes plans that didn’t consist of talking to each other’s voice mail.

Luckily he needn’t have worried, Marti thought it was a great idea and wished that she had thought of it and then the email traffic flowed between them and the volume and content was quite epic and were tantamount to love letters and woven amongst the sentimental words of love were the minutiae of the everyday, the mundane and the ordinary that would make up the fabric of their budding relationship. 

But despite the fluidity of the email traffic they were still no nearer actually seeing each other face to face.

 

On Saturday Jerry had to work a 12 hour day to put the finishing touches to the yearend accounts and on Sunday it was his mum’s birthday so he had planned to spend the whole day with her.

However he had at least finally succeeded in talking to Marti and it turned out that she was tied up all weekend as well.

But they were both hopeful that the following week would offer an opportunity for them to actually get together.

 

Jerry picked his mum up from Childean on Sunday morning and took her to St Andrew’s Church and afterwards out for lunch to The Huntsman’s Lodge restaurant and from there he drove her home and then went inside to have tea with her.

“Put the kettle on Julius” she said and he winced at the sound of his name said out loud but he duly obliged and while he was in the kitchen there was a knock at the door.

His mum answered the knock and an exchange of exited chatter ensued.

He recognized the other voice to be that of Aunty Erin, she wasn’t really an auntie just a long standing family friend who was particularly close to his mum.

Jerry hadn’t seen her since he was at school, but throughout his childhood she and her family had featured extensively in his life.

“I thought I would just pop in and wish you a happy birthday dear” Erin said

“And I brought Sonja along to say hello, she’s just back from University for the weekend”

Jerry’s heart sank, he remembered Sonja very well, she was younger than him by about 4 years and she was a clumsy gawky girl who used to trail around after him.

She was a blight on his childhood summer holidays.

“Oh it’s so lovely to see you Sonja” his mum said

“Julius is in the kitchen”

He winced again at the use of his name and a moment later Jerry got his first sight of the young woman called Sonja, narrow hipped, round pert buttocks, small breasts, firm to the touch and soft-silky skin.

And that last part wasn’t wishful thinking either, he knew this to be true and not merely a fanciful notion, because it was her bed he had reluctantly vacated the previous weekend and as if to dispel any doubts she was wearing the same poppy print dress she wore when they first met.

“I thought it would be nice for them to see each other again” Erin said

It was nice to see her, he thought but not as nice as it was the last time they met.

So Marti was actually Sonja Martl, he didn’t realize the clumsy gawky girl Sonja of his childhood as the same girl who called herself Marti who he’d made love to in Sharpington.

She went by the name of Marti because so many people misread or misspoke her surname and so that name stuck.

So it turned out they really had known each other for ever, that’s why she seemed to fit the template, because she was the template.

“So you’re Julius” Marti said

“And you’re Sonja” Jerry responded

“It’s nice to see you again” she said formally “After all these years”

“Yes, perhaps we might go out while you’re home and catch up” he replied and then he whispered

“Did you know?”

Marti just shook her head in the negative and said

“Yes that would be nice”

OUR LOVE IS TOUGH

 

Our love is tough

Our love is strong

Made in England Apropos

As strong as tungsten steel

It’s as hard as granite rock

It won’t melt away like the April snow

It’s made of sterner stuff

The only thing that will break it

Is if we let it go