WHEN WILL I REACH THE MAIN EVENT?

 

When will I reach the main event?

I’m tired of dainty canapés

I’ve had too many hors d'oeuvres

They are getting on my nerves

When will I reach the Entrée?

When will I meet the one I seek?

My life long dining companion

THE LOSS OF LOVE

 

The loss of love you see

Isn’t due to infidelity

It’s caused by over familiarity

And excessive intimacy

For how can love survive?

When before your eyes

Is the object of your affection

Rubbing cream on some infection

Or the person you are dating

Is on the toilet evacuating

THAT’S LOVE THAT IS

 

My big sister really loves me

I know this because, you see

All her old clothes she gives to me

But that’s not all, I’ve just begun

Because when she is all done

She has to go and buy new ones

That’s love that is

I REMEMBER LINDA

 

I remember way back when,

And my first schoolboys crush

When just to look at Linda

Was like being hit with a sugar rush

 

I remember when she said

“I really like your shirt by the way”

Well I was so in love with her

That I wore that shirt every day

MY MAN IS MY BEST FRIEND

 

My man is my best friend

He listens to me,

Enables me,

Reassures me,

Inspires me,

He makes me feel special

He makes me feel sexy

He understands me

He is in touch with my feelings

My man is my best friend?

Is he bollocks

Gordon’s is my best friend

Give me another gin and tonic

ONLY SKIN DEEP

 

You are truly beautiful

But beauty is only skin deep

Isn’t that what they say?

Only skin deep?

 

But looking through my eyes

Who ever said those words

Would think that they

Now sound quite absurd

 

For to say of you

That beauty is just skin deep

Must stir the angels hearts

And make them weep

 

You are truly beautiful

To the core of your being

It’s not just your skin

That I am seeing

 

Your beauty emanates

From your soul,

Gracing every atom, 

That makes the beautiful whole

 

From the marrow of your bones

It outwardly flows

So on your lustrous skin

Your beauty glows

BUT DON’T TELL ME

 

I know you want to end it

But don’t tell me at the hotel

Don’t tell me at the café

I know I won’t take it well

Don’t tell me at the restaurant

Don’t tell me by the pool

Don’t tell me on the beach

Don’t make me look a fool

You can tell me in the ocean

And realise all my fears

Tell me as we swim in the sea

Then you won’t see my tears