Downshire Diary – (45) Misconception

 

The Finchbottom Vale, which was nestled comfortably between the Ancient Dancingdean Forest to the south and the rolling Pepperstock Hills in the north, is those who are lucky enough to live there, thought of as the rose between two thorns.

The Vale was once a great wetland that centuries earlier stretched from Mornington in the East to Childean in the west and from Shallowfield in the south to Purplemere in the north.

But over the many centuries the vast majority had been drained for agriculture, a feat achieved largely by the efforts of famous Mornington Mills, of which only three had survived to the present day and even those were no longer functional and were in various states of repair.

There were only three small bodies of water left in the Vale now one in Mornington, one in Childean and third of course was Purplemere.

 

One of the inhabitants of Purplemere was Priscilla Abdul who was not someone you would describe as pretty, she had a rather large nose in the roman style, large round eyes, as black as coal and a small crooked mouth.

But Dave Maslen thought she was lovely, not that she had given him any cause to think that, in fact the opposite was true.

 

Pricilla was barely five feet tall, with ebony skin and long straight hair the colour of a raven’s wing and in addition to being short she was also stout.

She was born and bred in Purplemere but her ancestry was from far more exotic climes.

She was twenty seven years old but looked much older and she was the assistant chief librarian at the Purplemere Library and Pricilla lived alone in a one bedroom flat over the Vale Farm Pizza House.

She had hoped by her time of life that she would have had something a little better than that but life had not been that kind to her.

Pricilla had been on the way to a perfect life, she had a husband Marcus, a two bedroom house on a new development in Clarence and a baby on the way.

But apparently the universe wasn’t happy about that, because Marcus had an affair, but not some passing fancy, he fell in love with Pricilla’s sister, and so a year later she was divorced and she had lost her husband, the house, her sister and her baby and on the day when the story begins in earnest, she had just found out that her husband was now her brother in law.

Which was why the skin head, racist looking contract cleaner, that was always hanging round was getting on her nerves.

 

Dave Maslen was employed by “A Life of Grime”, who were contract cleaners and they undertook all kinds of cleaning, commercial and domestic and even had a crew dedicated to cleaning up crime scenes.

And he was not a skin head racist as Priscilla labelled him, he was completely devoid of hair, head, face and body as a result of a trauma suffered when he was a child when he fell from the top of a climbing frame when he was six.

 

But apart from being a contract cleaner Dave Maslen was also a first class flirt, and his skin head was often his way in, because it was obviously not shaven, so inquisitive girls often asked him how he lost his hair and when they did he knew he was in with a chance so he really enjoyed flirting.

He had had some degree of success with girls that way but he hadn’t found a keeper yet.

But he thought Pricilla had great potential.

 

Pricilla didn’t realise that the bald cleaner’s interest in her was as a dinner date, she had assumed because of the way he looked and the fact that he did menial work, that he was ill-educated and a member of the National Front.

She had taken what she saw at face value.

 

He was bald because of a childhood mishap and had she looked at him closely she would have noticed he had no eyebrows either and it is not common practice for skin heads to shave them off.

He was also far from ill-educated he had 10 GCSE’s and 4 A levels and would have gone to University had his father not died.

He gave up his aspirations to take over the bread winner role in the household, because his mum has MS so she was unable to work.

He did “menial” work because that was all he could get at the time, but apart from the cleaning he also worked at Purplemere Garden Centre and at the Vale Farm Pizza House which was where he got his first glimpse of the smile she kept so well hidden at the library.

 

Of course he didn’t know that she thought he was some sort of a Nazi based on his appearance.

If he had taken her on face value he wouldn’t have given her a second thought but he hadn’t, he saw past the grumpy exterior to a sweeter softer centre.

But his problem was getting to talk to her, whenever he got close she would scurry away in the opposite direction like a beetle.

 

She didn’t mean to be judgmental about him she just couldn’t help it, everyone else there said he was really nice.

He was good at his job but he just scared her a bit, and he was a good looking lad with a well-toned body and a nice smile and he was no more than 23 years old.

 

It all came to a head when she had had a very busy week and by the end of it she was exhausted.

She was not in the best of moods either, she was a bit miffed that she had heard from her ex-husband and he was complaining that his new wife was very upset because Pricilla was still refusing to talk to her.

She was also hot and bothered as it had been a hot day and because they had to wear uniform at the library including black tights and her legs were sweaty.

Pricilla didn’t much like sweaty legs so she was looking forward to getting home and removing her black tights and letting some air to her legs.

She was so hot and tired that she couldn’t be bothered to cook so she decided to get a pizza.

 

She walked into the Vale Farm Pizza House and was greeted by Roberto Obertelli, Roberto and his sister in law Annette owned the franchise and were also her landlords.

“Pricilla” he said flamboyantly and kissed her cheeks

“How are you?”

“I’ve been better to tell the truth” she said and then she ordered her pizza and paid for it.

As she was putting her card away she suddenly felt lightheaded and almost crumpled.

Roberto rushed to her and steadied her until she regained her composure.

“You go upstairs” he said and “I’ll send someone up with your pizza”

“I’ll be fine” she protested but Roberto was having none of it and insisted.

She did as she was told and went upstairs to her flat and really wasn’t feeling very well at all, not only did she have sweaty legs, she was sweating all over.

She opened her front door and went inside and despite the fact she was sweating profusely she shivered.

She didn’t want to sit down because she feared she may not get up again so she just pottered around for a bit until there was a knock on the door.

She walked slowly over to it and opened it.

“Oh God” she exclaimed “What are you doing here?”

And before Dave had the chance to answer she had passed out and he had to act with lightning speed to catch her before she hit the floor.

 

He settled her on the sofa and then phoned downstairs for Annette.

When she appeared she took a look at her and said

“Let’s get her into bed”

Dave nodded and then scooped her up and carried her into the bedroom and laid her on the bed then he took her shoes off and then pulled back the duvet and they had her ready to lay down.

At that point Annette looked at him with raised eyebrows which he took as his signal to leave.

“I’ll wait outside”

A few minutes later she called him back and when he went in she had the patient laying down under the duvet.

And on the end of the bed there was a pile of clothes Annette had removed

“Can you sit with her while I call the doctor?” she asked

“Yes of course”

 

Two day later Pricilla’s fever broke and Annette was sitting by her bed when she woke up.

“Where’s that ghastly man?” She shouted looking around the room

“The racist one”

“Who?” Annette asked and tried to calm her down

“He brought a pizza and was all smiley” she said with alarm

“Dave do you mean?” she asked and described him

“Yes him” Pricilla barked

“He’s gone home to change” Annette said “he’ll be back later, he sat with you all weekend”

“You mean you paid him to sit here all weekend” Pricilla said contemptuously

“Not at all, in fact he insisted he do it for nothing” she replied

“Why would he do that?” she asked suspiciously

“Because he’s a really nice lad” she replied “And he likes you, why don’t you like him?”

“I don’t like skin heads on principle” she replied and Annette laughed

“He’s not a skinhead, well he is a skinhead obviously but he’s a natural skinhead”

“What do you mean?”

“He looks like that because of a childhood accident” Annette explained

“Oh” she said “So he’s not a Nazi then”

“No” Annette replied and smiled “Now I think you should rest”

“Ok” she complied

“Annette” she called as she was closing the door

“Yes”

“Would you ask him to come and sit with me again?” she asked

“Of course” Annette replied and smiled

Downshire Diary – (44) Sweet Sixteen and Never Been Kissed

 

The village of Clarence is in the Finchbottom Vale, which was nestled comfortably between the Ancient Dancingdean Forest to the south and the rolling Pepperstock Hills in the north, those who are lucky enough to live there think of it as the rose between two thorns.

The Vale was once a great wetland that centuries earlier stretched from Mornington in the East to Childean in the west and from Shallowfield in the south to Purplemere in the north.

But over the many centuries the vast majority had been drained for agriculture, a feat achieved largely by the efforts of famous Mornington Mills, of which only three had survived to the present day and even those were no longer functional and were in various states of repair.

There were only three small bodies of water left in the Vale now one in Mornington, one in Childean and third of course was Purplemere, which is where Clarence is situated and where our story takes place.

 

Lorraine Tonks was a pretty girl in her early twenties, five foot nine, ultra slim with flame red hair, a pale complexion and cutely freckled skin and she looked like a breadth of wind might blow her away.

But she was a very strong character and full of self-confidence.

But it hadn’t always been that way, when she was a young girl she and her brother Mark lived in the village of Clarence which was a mile or so from Purplemere and she was as timid as little bird.

 

The sixteen year old Lorraine was also slender and pale and was even smaller than the woman she would become.

The young Lorraine was every bit as pretty as her 20 something counterpart but was completely unaware of it and as a result she lacked any self-confidence whatsoever and was painfully shy.

In addition the sweet sixteen version was completely incapable of even talking to boys and had no notion of flirting.  

So therefore she was sweet sixteen and had never been kissed, but she had lost her heart.

The recipient of her affections was Gary Short who she had had a crush on since Easter.

Fifty percent of the village of Clarence was full of posh houses and posh people and as it was a village everyone knew each other’s business.

Gary’s family were new to Clarence and the two of them had met for the first time at the Easter service at St Mary of Bethany church.

But despite the fact that they seemed to hit it off from the first moment he never appeared to show any interest and she had begun to think he might be gay as she had made no headway with him and

Lorraine was powerless to influence the situation due to her shyness so at the beginning of July she confessed to her best friend Louise that she fancied Gary and Louise pledged to help her but there was a fly in the ointment, Lou was going on holiday for two weeks.

The girls had been best friends since preschool and were normally quite inseparable so when her friend went away it was like losing a limb. 

 

Unlike the ultra-self-confident Louise, her best friend Lorraine was painfully shy.

Lou was self-assured and pretty and she knew it whereas Loz was not only shy but socially awkward and full of self-doubt, although she was just as pretty as her friend but had no idea of the fact.

Louise was the driving force in their friendship, bold and bubbly and being with her made Lorraine feel more confident, daring to do things she would never do alone, living life on her bold friend’s coat tails and without her friend she floundered.

Which was evidenced by the rather pathetically forlorn creature who was ambling along Old Farm Lane towards home.

She had her flame red hair tied up, which was mostly hidden beneath a broad brimmed floppy hat.

She was wearing a flowery green dress, with a contrasting pashmina over her shoulders and she clutching a garishly patterned bag to her middle.

The Tonks and the Short families both lived in Old Farm Lane, but at opposite ends.

Lorraine was staring down at her flip flops as she was shuffling and scuffing along and as she was passing the short’s house, Oakbank, Mrs. Short called out to her.

“Hi Lorraine”

And Lorraine almost jumped out of her skin

“Oh Hello” she said blushing as she tried to catch her breath.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you,” Mrs. Short said

“It’s ok, I was miles away” Lorraine said

“Are you missing Louise?” she asked

“Yes” she sighed “and she’s only been gone a few days”

“So what have you been up to today?” Mrs. Short enquired

“I’ve been to a BBQ at Aunt Jane’s” she answered, “I left early because I caught the sun a bit”

She lifted the pashmina off her shoulder so she could see.

“Ouch, have you put something on it?”

She asked and Lorraine shook her head

“That’s going to burn if you don’t” Mrs. S told her “come to mine and I’ll put some after sun on”

“Ok thank you” she said cheerfully hoping she might get to see Gary.

Mrs. Short opened the door and let Lorraine in, and the house was cool and quiet, so apparently Gary wasn’t home.

“You have the wrong complexion for sitting in the sun” she said

“I know” Lorraine agreed with resignation

“With your lovely pale skin you need to stay in the shadows” she said and Lorraine blushed at the compliment.

Once inside Mrs. Short showed her into the kitchen, she’d never been in the house before.

She gently took the pashmina from her shoulders and threw it on the pack of a chair

“Sit down while I get the after sun”

When she returned she was sitting facing the garden and her floppy hat was lying on the table.

“This might hurt a little, but let me know if you want me to stop” Mrs. S said

“Ok” she answered meekly and Mrs. S began to gently rub in the lotion and unknown to either of them Gary was looking on from a place of safety.

“How does that feel?” she asked

“Cool” she replied and while his mum rubbed lotion onto the shoulders and neck of the girl he wanted to be his girl he wished he could change places with his mum, but then the show was over.

“Well that should stop you burning” Mrs. Short said as she replaced the cap on the lotion.

“Thank you” Lorraine said and then continued on her way home.

 

It was a beautiful July day and Lorraine was approaching the end of Old Farm Lane, which led to the back of her house, when she saw Gary coming the other way.

She had her flame red hair cascading onto her shoulders, which was catching the sun as she walked.

She was wearing a floral green dress and was carrying a garishly patterned bag on her shoulder and Lorraine was staring down at her flip flops and shuffled and scuffed along the lane.

She threw the odd glance at him in his baggy t-shirt and knee length shorts and found herself getting redder and redder the closer they got to each other.

The grown up Lorraine was ultra-confident, self-assured, pretty and she knew it, while sweet sixteen Lorraine was shy, socially awkward and full of self-doubt, still equally pretty but had no idea of the fact.

The problem was that Gary wasn’t any more confident than she was so it was difficult to imagine how anything was going to come out of any social encounter.

Neither of them were capable of progressing the conversation to the conclusion they both wanted.

Which was evidenced by the two rather pathetically forlorn creatures who were ambling towards each other.

So it was when they got within a few feet of each other he said

“Hi Lorraine”

And he almost made her jump out of her skin

“Hello” she said blushing as she tried to catch her breath.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said

“That’s ok, I was miles away” Lorraine said

“Are you going home?” he asked

“Yes” she replied “and you?”

And that was the tone and extent of the conversation and it looked quite possibly that this chance meeting would end up being wasted, as had every other previous one had, as the fresh faced pair were so clueless and incapable of taking full advantage of a serendipitous meeting.

Lacking the gumption to think of anything else to say they were about to go their separate ways when fate took a hand when a mutual friend, Emma, appeared in the lane.

“What are you two up to?” she enquired

“Nothing” Lorraine answered

“Come to mine then” she said “Dads put the swing ball up”

Lorraine and Gary looked at each other and smiled

“I’m in” She said

“Me too” added Gary

And they both smiled again mainly out of relief at getting the “Get out of jail free card” from Emma when fate took a hand.

 

Serendipity struck again in Emma’s back garden when the swing ball struck Lorraine full in the face and to everyone’s surprise, including his own Gary said

“Would you like me to kiss it better?” 

Of course she did but was too shy to let him however by the end of that day they had secured their first date together and when he walked her home he did kiss her.

It wasn’t the most memorable of kisses, but it was a milestone for both of them, and in the moment they thought it breathtakingly good.

However in time they surpassed it as for the whole of the summer they were together and they became much more proficient.

And that proficiency continued over the months, but by the time the Christmas holidays came around they had indeed become more accomplished, but then Gary decided to spread his proficiency around so she took her lips elsewhere.

Downshire Diary – (43) Mystery Girl

 

Downshire is a relatively small English county but like a pocket battleship it packs a lot in, a short but beautiful coastline, a channel port, the Ancient forests of Dancingdean and Pepperstock, the craggy ridges and manmade lakes of the Pepperstock Hills National Park, the rolling hills of the Downshire Downs, the beautiful Finchbottom Vale and farm land as far as the eye can see from the Trotwood’s and the Grace’s in the south to the home of the Downshire Light infantry, Nettlefield, and their affluent neighbour’s, Roespring and Tipton in the North and it’s in leafy Roespring where our story begins.

 

It was after the second exhausting day of reveling, when brother and sister in law, Roberto and Annette Obertelli were exiting the front door of the Dancing Cavalier Hotel in Roespring.

They had been attending the wedding of close friends and what had been expected to be a classy, cultured and refined weekend had turned into a raucous Hooley involving dancing on tables and urinating in fountains.

The pair had just performed a kind of walk of shame through the lobby causing all heads to turn in their direction.

Among their audience was an array of faces baring expressions, ranging from disgust, all the way through jealously to envy and even admiration, but from the management the universal tone was disgust.

They emerged through the door into the sunlight looking red faced and sheepish.

Having had a lobby full of eyes on them as they left the hotel they felt relieved to escape into the fresh air where they turned to each other and burst out laughing.

Unfortunately they got tarred with the same brush as the worst offenders when they had actually been quite well behaved in comparison, admittedly Annette had been one of the first to start dancing on the tables but that was the full extent of her involvement and as Roberto was a bit of a lightweight when it came to drinking he had already passed out on a sofa in the sunroom by the time the worst of the shenanigan’s began.    

“Well that’s one Hotel I can never stay at again” Annette said.

“Well it’s not my fault is it?” he said indignantly

“I’m not the one who danced on the table like Siouxsie and the Banshees”

Annette blushed to her roots and buried her face in his chest.

This was not the way she normally behaved she was normally a rather boring and ordinary woman.

But the weekend was the first time she had let her hair down in the two years since she became a widow.

Fraternal twins Roberto and Gianluca Obertelli owned the Vale Farm Pizza House franchises in Purplemere, having inherited it from their father.

Gianluca and Annette were married for five years when at the age of 31 he was tragically killed when his motorcycle collided with a HGV that failed to stop at a red light. 

He died instantly.

Roberto was 33 now and he loved Annette with all his heart but only as a sister and she felt the same way so it was only natural that they continued to run the business between them.

 

Unlike his brother Gianluca, Roberto had not found someone to share his life and since his death his wife Annette had not sought another partner.

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been looking it was just that he hadn’t found someone to fit his ideal. 

Although the night before at the wedding reception he had met someone who aroused his curiosity and got his attention.

 

The wedding party was held in the King Charles Wing but there was another party in the Prince Rupert Suite, which was an old fashioned fancy dress masked ball and it was from the latter that he imagined her to have come.

She was a small girl in a Georgian gown of powder blue and she wore a powdered high hair wig of the day and a sequined mask to conceal her face.    

There was little conversation but what there was, was filled with honeyed words of seduction.

But apart from the copious flirting they danced on the terrace and even shared a kiss but then he lost her in the crowd and try as he might he couldn’t track her down which was when he turned to drink and ended up passed out on a sofa.

 

They boarded the train at Roespring Station and made themselves comfortable.

They had barely left the station before Annette was asleep with her head on his shoulder.

A long weekend away with an excess of food, drink and very little sleep had clearly taken its toll.

They had made the decision to go by train because they didn’t think either of them would be up to the drive home and they were right.

While Annette was sleeping against his shoulder he indulged in a spot of people watching.

The carriage was very quiet and sparsely populated and most of the passengers were at the other end.

But there were two girls sat diagonally across the aisle from the Obertelli’s, a tall willowy blonde with outstandingly stellar legs and a small mousy thing.

The blonde was very pretty but was very aware of the fact and she positively preened when she realized Roberto was admiring her legs.

She crossed her legs slowly and deliberately so he could marvel at them further but then he noticed on the newly exposed inner thigh a tattoo of an arrow and beneath it were the words “this way up”.

It was like an ice cold shower to him.

“How very classy” he thought and it was a huge turn off for him, so he turned his attention to the quiet mousy girl sitting in the corner.

She had long straight brown hair and a rather plain, heavily freckled face, but lovely blue eyes, a cute nose and a thin-lipped smile.

She was short, body shape undetermined due to a rather shapeless baggy sweater, so it was difficult for him to tell which way she was facing let alone see her figure.

Her legs were nice though, ensconced in black shabby tights and she had tiny feet which was always a bonus for him.

He had trouble fixing her age though and he thought she could have been anywhere between 20 and 30.

The mouse ticked quite a few boxes for Roberto.

The leggy blonde on seeing his transfer of allegiance huffed quite loudly and flounced off to another part of the carriage.

 

Roberto continued to appraise the mouse who seemed quite pleased with herself that she had lured his attention away from “legs” and that the blonde had thrown in the towel, in fact she took on an air of aloofness on recognizing her success in stealing his attentions, so he and the mouse spent the next forty minutes exchanging glances, in between admiring the wonderful scenery, his of curiosity with a hint of lechery, and hers of coquettishness, in fact they continued until they were approaching Purplemere.

Which was when his thoughts turned back to Annette, and he woke her and helped her gather her things together.

As they approached the station he got up and carried the bags to the door, and she followed close behind, the train stopped and Roberto turned to give the mouse one final look but she wasn’t there

The doors opened and he stepped out onto the platform and headed towards the taxis.

 

As the taxi left the rank Annette said

“You seemed very interested in that girl”

“What girl?” he asked

“The little brunette”

“That’s because I thought I recognized her” he said

“Oh really?” she retorted mockingly

“Yes there was something familiar about her but I couldn’t put my finger on it” he explained

“A likely story” Annette said

“No honestly” he insisted “Maybe she’s a customer”

“Whatever” she said and laughed

Roberto gave up protesting, but it was true he had recognized her, but there was also something about her which was why he couldn’t stop looking at her.

 

The taxi dropped Annette first in Middle Gracewood and Roberto arrived home in Upper Gracewood about five minutes later and after a long awaited cup of coffee he headed off to the bathroom for a much needed shower.

 

The shower was wonderful and he felt refreshed and invigorated so he threw on his toweling robe and went back to the kitchen for another coffee.

Steaming coffee in hand he walked through to the lounge, the room was dominated by a large L shaped leather sofa with a large square matching foot stool which was sitting in its default position i.e. in the right angle of the sofa.

 

The room was quite stuffy so he put his coffee down on the table and walked across and threw open the French doors but he left the curtains drawn as the sun was full on, on that side of the house at that time of day, then he sat on the sofa and almost immediately the long blinks began to set in and within minutes he was lying stretched out on the cool expanse of leather and a few minutes later he was fast asleep.

 

He had no idea how long he had slept but when he began to stir the room was in darkness and he thought he heard the sound of bare feet padding on the laminate floor and there was the smell of perfume, subtle but distinct, and it was familiar, Lily of the Valley.

He lay there for an indeterminate time drifting in and out sleep with his mind full of little dreams of the Georgian doll in the powder blue dress he had danced with on Saturday Night that ended with a kiss.

And the dream was so vivid he could feel the light touch of soft lips on his and he could smell her perfume.

It felt so real and the kiss so seductive, then he dreamt that he felt, no not dreamt, he felt the pressure of her mouth on his and all the ensuing passion that went along with it.

Roberto opened his eyes but in the darkness he had no idea who was kissing him but to be perfectly honest at that precise moment he didn’t really care he just didn’t want them to stop, but when he moved to envelope his blissful assailant in his arms she broke away and was giggling as she went padding across the floor and out into the garden.

From the sofa he could only see a vague figure in the gloom but couldn’t tell who it was whose lips had been kissing him.

“Wait” he said “don’t go”

He jumped up from his recumbent position and headed towards the French doors and tried to find his assailant in the garden.

The problem was it was a very large garden, with trees at the end and an abundance of shrubbery, and it was dark.

He didn’t even know if she was still in the garden and as he was still wearing his bath robe and nothing else, he couldn’t go searching further afield.

 

Roberto walked up and down the garden for about ten minutes before he got dispirited and headed back towards the house.

He sighed as he reached the French doors and then when he pushed the curtain aside he saw her

“Were you looking for me?” the mouse from the train said

“It’s you” he exclaimed “and you’re the girl from the masked ball”

“Are you disappointed?” she asked coyly

“Not of course not” he said emphatically “but why didn’t you say anything on the train?”

“Because I wanted to know if you liked me as me and not just the fantasy girl in the fancy dress” she explained

“And did I pass?” he asked as he walked towards her

“I wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t” she replied and then they kissed.

“I don’t even know your name” he said when the kiss ended

“Dora” she said “Dora Green”

“Nice to meet you Dora, I’m Roberto Obertelli”

“Now we’ve been properly introduced can we get back to the kissing?” she asked

“Absolutely” he concurred

 

“So how did you know where I lived?” he asked as they sat on the sofa

“Because we’re neighbour’s” she replied

“We are?”

“Yes I live in the village” she said

“You do?”

“Yes my dad is the new vicar of St Margaret’s” Dora said

“So we’ll be seeing a lot of each other” he said happily

“I would hope so, I’m a good Christian girl so I don’t behave like this with just anyone” she replied and kissed him again before he could say anything else.

Downshire Diary – (42) Just Being Neighbourly

 

The Finchbottom Vale nestles comfortably between the Ancient Dancingdean Forest to the south and the rolling Pepperstock Hills in the north and those who were lucky enough to live there think of it as the rose between two thorns and at the eastern end of the Vale were the Dulcets which were a collection of villages and hamlets comprising of Dulcet Meadow, Dulcet-on-Willow, Dulcet St Mary and Dulcet-on-Brooke, to name but a few, and of course Dulcet Green which was where Scott Strong lived in a detached house with his wife of 25 years, Mary.

Although in truth Scott would have said that that was stretching a point, as it wasn’t so much living, and it would perhaps have been more accurately described as an existence.

That was because Scott and Mary lived completely separate lives, they had separate bedrooms and had totally different interests, and different circles of friends, and by that stage in their lives they might just as well have been strangers.

In fact Scott didn’t really know why they had stayed together for twenty five years, he thought laziness was probably the likeliest reason.

They had no children, no pets, no nearest and dearest and not even a single friend in common and they only had sex on special occasions which in Scott’s opinion was the only special thing about it.

If they’d had an ounce of common sense between them they would have divorced long before they reached 25 years, but Mary believed marriage was a lifetime commitment or more precisely a life sentence in Scott’s opinion.

That didn’t mean anything to him, what kept him in the marriage though was that although he had long since stopped loving his wife he really loved the house.

But what happened just before Easter would lead to something that would put Scott’s love of the house into perspective.

 

It all began when Scott’s next door neighbours, the Brown’s moved to Cheltenham, he was something big in the foreign office and he was offered a two year secondment to GCHQ, which he jumped at, but the Brown’s decided to rent the house out, while they were away, in the short term and then they would sell it later should the secondment end up becoming a permanent position.

 

So it was on a warm day at the beginning of May when the new tenants moved in to the house next door, and it was a matter of great interest to Scott.

The house had been rented by two elderly sisters, the Miss Brackhampton-Finch’s, who were retired colonial missionary types returning to Downshire after working for many years in China.

And in addition to the two old biddies they brought with them, a live in cook housekeeper who was a dowdy and frumpish looking woman of indeterminate age who by outward appearance could have been anything between 25 and 40 years old with mousy hair and functional spectacles.

Scott noticed them move in as he was working from home, which he did at least 3 days a week, more when he could get away with it, which he was able to do quite often because he was a freelance architect.

So it was due to his “working from home” that he got to see the new neighbours move in and the reason he would eventually get to know the frump.

 

Although freelance architect Scott Strong worked from home at least 3 days a week he seldom spent more than a couple of hours a day actually working and this less than productive work ethic enabled him to spend more time doing what he loved to do, reading, listening to music, watching films and making sure the gardeners did a proper job, in fact pretty much anything that wasn’t actually working.

He always got up early every morning and cracked on with his work early doors and achieved his modest goal by about 11.00, always keeping some in hand that he could do during the evening and therefore avoid having to speak to his wife Mary any more than was necessary.

Finishing his work early also allowed him to make himself useful in a small way to the new neighbours, well to the live in frump in any case, which in truth mainly involved his sitting in the Brackhampton-Finch’s kitchen drinking the frump’s excellent coffee.

The frump’s real name was Pauline Boyle and she was an Australian girl who had started working for the Brackhampton-Finch’s when they lived in China.

When they announced their plans to return to England, because Pauline was such a good housekeeper and such an excellent cook, they asked her to move with them and even offered to pay her passage to the UK on the proviso that she remained with them for a minimum of two years.

As she had always wanted to travel to England she accepted because she knew she would never be able to do it any other way.

 

From the very first moment he introduced himself over the garden fence Scott got on well with Pauline.

He liked her sense of humour, her laugh, and her easy company.

Until her arrival Scott hadn’t realised how much he had missed good conversation and feminine company.

In the short time she had been his neighbour, chatting over the kitchen table drinking her excellent coffee, he had become very fond of her, but not quite as fond as he was destined to do.

 

Pauline welcomed her neighbourly neighbours company, because despite the beauty of the Vale and quaintness of the village, she found herself feeling lonely.

She knew no one in the area, she had not had an opportunity to make friends locally and she was very much made to feel, by her employers, that she was only the “help”.  

Sharing a house with the two elderly spinsters did not make for a happy situation, they had no sense of humour and even if they had they certainly wouldn’t have shared a joke with her.

She missed stimulating conversation, well in truth she missed any kind of conversation, and so having regular visits from the affable Scott Strong and his quirky sense of humour were truly welcomed. 

 

But neither Scott nor Pauline realised the significance of their regular country kitchen coffee mornings and that a little light hearted conversation was only the first step to something very different indeed.

 

The summer was well underway when one day after he had achieved his meagre work target he walked out into the garden and over the fence he saw Pauline dancing on the patio with a large glass of wine in her hand.

“Are you having a party?” he shouted over the fence on the hot June afternoon.

“Sort of” she replied “come and join me Scott”

“Ok” he said and walked around to the back gate

 

“So what’s the occasion?” he asked when he reached the patio and she poured him a glass of wine

“The Brackhampton-Finch’s have gone to Nettlefield for an ecumenical council meeting” Pauline replied

She had clearly had more than the one glass of wine as she failed quite spectacularly to say ecumenical.

“And they’re clearly not coming back today” Scott said

“No” Pauline said “the day after tomorrow”

It was the first time he had seen Pauline quite so relaxed, but then he was well aware that an excess of alcohol will do that.

The Miss Brackhampton-Finch’s were very old fashioned and Pauline had to keep herself quiet and respectful, and had to conduct herself with decorum at all times and not express a hint of humour and God forbid she should show any hint of femininity.

However as the sisters were away she was able to let her hair down which was why on that summer’s afternoon she was wearing a dress which showed off a figure that was hitherto unrecognised, unnoticed or even hinted at and she was having her own private party until by late afternoon the combination of too much wine and too much sun found the two of them dancing on the patio to the dulcet tones of Barbara Streisand singing “The way we were”

But by the time Neil Diamond began to croon “Love on the rocks” Pauline was nibbling vigorously on his ear.

 

His immediate thought was that he should nip it in the bud, he was a married man after all, albeit unhappily, and she was more than 10 years his junior and very much the worse for drink.

So he pulled his ear out of reach of her mouth and occupied it otherwise by kissing it which she reciprocated immediately in a wet slavery drink induced snog.

Scott knew it was wrong and he knew the right thing to do was to stop, but it was a hot day, he was merry, and she was a very good kisser and as he hadn’t had any kind of sexual encounter with anywhere near that level of passion for more years than he could remember, he was unwilling to stop proceedings

“Stop now” he was screaming inside his head

“While you still can, stop before you pass the point of no return”

But he didn’t listen to his conscience.

Thankfully at that precise moment she disengaged her mouth from his and grinned at him before saying

“Great snog”

Then the combination of too much wine and too much sun played a part in proceeding once again and she passed out.

 

The combination of too much wine and too much sun played a part in proceeding once again and she passed out.

Scott quickly reached out and prevented her falling to the floor and then scooped her up and carried her inside out of the hot sun.

Once inside he laid her down on the sofa and a moment or so later she came round.

“I’m sorry” she said

“What for?” he asked

“For snogging you” she replied and covered her face with her hands.

“I’m so embarrassed”

“Did you hear me complain?” he asked as he knelt on the floor beside her.

“No” she replied

“Well then”

“So you’re not horrified?” she asked and peeped through the gaps in her fingers

“Of course not” he replied “The opposite is true”

“What do you mean?” she asked but still had her face covered.

“I was disappointed when you stopped” he said “I thought you were horrified at what you had done”

“No never” she exclaimed and from her prone position she launched herself at him and wrapped her arms around his neck and they kissed again.

However it wasn’t just drunken snogging because after they had another glass of wine the lay on one of the Brackhampton-Finch sister’s many Chinese rugs in the dining room and proclaimed their love for each other on that balmy June afternoon.

Although no impropriety occurred, it was extraordinary behaviour anyway for someone in a Christian household, and as she was a Christian herself it would have been twice as bad especially with a married man.

 

Pauline was asleep on the sofa when he went home he wanted to be there in time to have a conversation over dinner with his darling wife.

As it turned out he needn’t have bothered because she called to say she was eating out and wouldn’t be back until late.

So he put a frozen dinner in the microwave and had a shower and a shave, then he ate his dinner in front of the TV and wished he was at the Brackhampton-Finch’s in Pauline’s arms, but he had resolved not to do that until after he had the dreaded conversation with Mary.

 

It was 11.45 when Mary returned and he was standing in the hall to greet her.

They sat up until the small hours discussing the future and in the end it was much more amicable than he had expected because she too had met someone that she wanted to know better.

They agreed that they should stay in the house until it was sold and then they could go their separate ways.

 

It was a cooler calmer day than the one that preceded it and Pauline was much calmer and cooler herself.

That hot sensual June afternoon when too much wine eroded her inhibitions was gone and as she had not seen Scott since she assumed he had too.

Paula felt no guilt for her wanton behaviour the day before because Scott had been too gentlemanly to take advantage of her and Scott felt no guilt for what he did when neither of them where influence by sultry weather or cheap wine.

She was at the kitchen sink when he reached the open back door and he stepped quietly in and crept up behind her where he put his hands on her waist and kissed he neck.

She gasped in surprise when she felt his hands on her and sighed as his lips touched her skin.

“I didn’t think you were coming back” she murmured

“I couldn’t come back until I had spoken to Mary” he explained

“And?” she asked and held her breath to await his response.

“And we’re getting a divorce” he replied and she spun round and kissed him

 

It was a shame that the house would have to be sold but he couldn’t afford to buy Marys half so he had to give up the house that he loved so much in order to get the woman he loved even more.

 

With his share of the house sale Scott bought a modest cottage in Dulcet-on-Brooke and when her two years were up at the Brackhampton-Finch’s they lived in the cottage together.

A situation he was very pleased with which only came about as a result of him just being neighbourly.

Downshire Diary – (41) Laundry Day

 

The Finchbottom Vale is nestled comfortably between the Ancient Dancingdean Forest to the south and the rolling Pepperstock Hills in the north, those who are lucky enough to live there think of it as the rose between two thorns.

The Vale was once a great wetland that centuries earlier stretched from Mornington in the East to Childean in the west and from Shallowfield in the south to Purplemere in the north.

But over the many centuries the vast majority had been drained for agriculture, a feat achieved largely by the efforts of famous Mornington Mills, of which only three had survived to the present day and even those were no longer functional and were in various states of repair and the leafy village of Pangmere was situated on the Finchbottom Road between Mornington and Finchbottom.

 

It was a perfect early spring morning in the village and the breeze stirred the tree tops and the birds sang to the sun.

And the birds weren’t the only early risers, Charlotte Kay was lying in bed, warm and cosy beneath the duvet, as the birds twittered in the trees and the early morning light tried to penetrate into her bed room.

As she lay there half-awake, half-dreaming, Charlotte could hear him through the bedroom wall as he stood in the shower and as she listened to the splattering and splashing, she envied every droplet of water as it ran unchecked over his naked skin.

However the root of her envy was due to the fact that she had been in love with him since she was eleven years old and now that she was almost twenty she wanted him with every fibre of her being.

The subject of her fervent want was Jonathon Ovenden, the elder brother of Charlotte’s best friend Katie, who at the tender age of 18 had, to all intents and purposes, by tragic necessity become the father of his 11 year old sister.

Their parents were killed in a tragic car crash on the Pepperstock Expressway during a snow storm and all of his hopes and dreams for the future died in the snow along with them.

His plans to study engineering at University and what that might have led to, had to be set aside in order for him to raise his little sister, so that she at least would be able to fulfil her potential.

The early years of his enforced parenthood he was almost consumed by his new responsibilities, running the home, nurturing Katie and holding down a job, a menial job and far beneath his capabilities.

But the saving grace for all his sacrifice and being weighed down by responsibility’s at such a young age was that he was a stronger person for the experience and Katie was to become everything their parents would have wished her to be, and he was proud of that result.

Giving up his own academic ambitions had allowed Katie to follow her dreams and she was now at Cambridge University with Charlotte.

 

As she lay in the cosy warmth of her bed listening to the water washing over him, images of his wet naked body filled her head and she felt aroused.

Her flesh tingled and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up and she had to start doing maths problems in her head to clear the image of him from her thoughts.

The water stopped running and the heavy foot fall told her he had stepped out of the shower and then she pictured his wet naked form as he did so, and just a thin stud wall separated her from the object of her lust and desire.

She could see in her mind’s eye each droplet of water dripping from his torso or running freely down his skin and then she had to start calculating again.

But it was to no avail she could see him in the towel now, wrapped around him as she wanted to be wrapped around him.

Charlotte was lost in those dreamy thoughts of lust when the door suddenly opened and she heard herself gasp as Jonathon walked into the room and then she held her breath as she watched him across the room, wearing just a towel.

 

The reason he walked into the room she was in wearing only a towel was because Charlotte was sleeping in the spare room which also housed the laundry basket and the reason he entered without knocking was that he didn’t know Charlotte was there.

Jonathon began picking up the laundry that had been discarded in and around the wash bin and there was always plenty of it when Katie was back from University and even more whenever Charlotte slept over.

Charlotte and Katie had been best friend since forever and over the years she had been a regular house guest.

They’d been back from University for a week and the washing had already built up and this was the first opportunity he’d had to get to grips with it because of his job.

So as it was Saturday and the girls had gone to a party the night before and had stayed over at another friend’s place he thought he should make a start on the washing.

 

As he went through the assorted jeans, T-shirts and lingerie, he began to think how quickly time had passed by and how quickly his sister and her best friend had grown up.

He smiled to himself as he remembered Katie’s first bra, which was of course a purely cosmetic device when she was only twelve.

Then as she grew she went through various stages of padded enhancements and eventually to the full cupped and underwired contraptions she wore today.

It was the same with her pants, in the early days they were childishly embellished with flowers or colourful characters, then they progressed through to practical pants and then onto more sophisticated items before progressing on to the skimpy things of lace and bows, because his little sister was a grown woman now.

 

Charlotte watched as Jonathon stood across the room in the half light, his upper body still damp from the shower, and a towel wrapped around the lower.

He was standing sorting laundry into baskets of light and dark and as he held a pair of pink knickers she recognised them as her own and blushed deeply.

Jonathon held the pink panties briefly in his hand before dropping them into the appropriate pile.

Then a red pair, then pale blue silk and followed by black lace.

Charlotte watched as he handled her knickers one pair after another and she got more and more embarrassed.

And as Jonathon was methodically sorting through the mountain of dirty washing he had no idea she was laying there in the gloom because she and Katie were supposed to be sleeping over at Karen’s house in Shallowfield, some 20 miles away.

Had he known she was there he would not have entered the room especially wearing nothing but a towel, he would have been too self-conscious.

 

Jonathon had known Charlotte since she was an awkward clumsy eleven year old girl who seemed to spend her entire time either falling over or picking herself up and showing off her floral knickers in the process.

But she was a young woman now and Charlotte was a far cry from the klutzy eleven year old in the flowered briefs, she had grown up to become a swan, a socially awkward swan, but a swan nonetheless.

He could never tell her that though, nor could he tell his sister Katie how he felt about her.

 

Jonathon fished out the last item from the bottom of the bin, a pair of yellow knickers with white bows.

“They’re mine” she said in her head “Oh God how embarrassing”

Jonathon smiled and dropped them in the appropriate pile and turned to leave the room when Charlotte let out a sigh.

“Who’s that?” he asked startled “Is that you Charlotte?”

Charlotte bit hard on her lip after her sigh.

“Yes” she replied through clenched teeth

He walked to the window and opened one curtain, spilling gentle spring light into the room.

The sunlight fell across the rumpled screwed up duvet and a shapeless bulge beneath it.

“I thought you and Katie were staying over at Karen’s” Jonathon said

“Katie did, but I didn’t fancy it” she lied “I have a paper to finish”

She didn’t fancy staying the night at Katie’s because she fancied Jonathon and she wanted to spend some time with him on her own, she knew that on Saturday he would be in all day on his own so she made an excuse to Katie and went home.

Charlotte had no other plan than to be in the house with him on her own, she had no idea what to do about her crush.

She wasn’t even sure she should do anything if she did know, what if he rejected her, or what if he didn’t reject her but Katie got angry.

It was not inconceivable that she could lose them both and she may never be in close proximity to him ever again.

 

As he stood there looking at her he knew she had lied about the paper, he could always tell when she fibbed, he just wasn’t sure why, he hoped she hadn’t had a falling out with Katie.

He wouldn’t be able to bear it if they stopped being friends and he wouldn’t see Charlotte again.

Charlotte looked up at him and smiled and despite his fear he felt a passion welling up in him, a passion he had suppressed over the last two years which he dare not have hoped to have acted upon until that moment.

 

The very appealing sight of Charlotte laying beneath the duvet with the spring sunshine spilling through the curtain he decided that he should seize the day.

“Well as you can see it’s a lovely morning” he said “so get yourself up and showered and I’ll make us some breakfast”

“Ok I have time for a quick breakfast before I start on my paper” she replied indifferently

“Oh that’s a shame” he replied “I thought I might take you out for a pub lunch once I’ve done the laundry, but if your too busy we could do it another time”

“Well I’m sure if I crack on I could have it finished by lunchtime” she said coolly

“Good” he said and scooped up one of the of washing baskets

“Time to get on then”

 

Charlotte showered while Jonathon made poached eggs on toast and after he had put the first load of washing on they sat in the kitchen and enjoyed an unhurried breakfast.

“So what is the paper on?” he asked as he drained his coffee cup

“What?” she gasped

“What is the paper that you need to complete” he clarified

“Finite Mathematics and Applied Calculus” she replied

“Really?” he asked and smiled because he was pretty sure that was actually an A level text.

“Well I’d better get on” She said heading towards the door

“Charlotte?” he called after her

“Yes” she replied looking like a startled rabbit

“It was a really nice surprise to see you this morning” he told her

 

He got the chores done that he wanted to do and then he got changed and then knocked on her door.

“Come in”

Jonathon opened the door

“Its…” he began but couldn’t finish because she looked so stunning in a yellow dress with white dots.

Obviously she hadn’t spent a moment on Finite Mathematics and Applied Calculus and she had spent the entire time since breakfast making the best of herself.

When he saw how gorgeous she had made herself it reinforced his belief that he had a chance with her.

 

She had gone to all that trouble because even with her limited experience with the opposite sex she knew when he said

“It was a really nice surprise to see you this morning”

That he liked her as well, which just left the fly in the ointment, Katie.

How would she ever explain to Katie?

“It’s time to go” he said at the second attempt “you look great”

 

So they left Pangmere and he drove her to Dulcet-on-Brooke where they ate lunch at The Waterside Inn.

But there were awkward silences as the two of them battled with the internal struggle on whether to take a chance, expose themselves and risk rejection even if the reward could be their hearts desire.

They spent a pleasant couple of hours of a warm summer afternoon in the beer garden on the banks of the River Brooke but had resolved nothing by the end of it.

But it was really the fear of upsetting Katie that played heavily on both their minds.

 

Jonathon and Charlotte ambled disconsolately away from the pub garden with the burning issues unresolved but despite that neither of them wanted to call a halt to their first outing together so Jonathon blurted out

“Let’s go into Sharpington”

And Charlotte had no hesitation in saying

“Oh yes what a lovely idea”

 

Sharpington-by-Sea is a traditional seaside resort complete with a Victorian Pier, seafront hotels, crazy golf, The Palladium ballroom, well maintained gardens, promenade, theatre and illuminations, all the usual things to have a great time by the seaside, as well as amusement arcades and of course the Sharpington Fun Park.

Which was the first purpose built amusement park to open in Britain, which had an assortment of rides, like the Rotor and the Wild Mouse, The Cyclone and the Morehouse Galloper, all very tame compared to a 21st century roller coaster but was still great fun.

 

They managed to park at the Southern end of the promenade.

“We’re a bit away from the action but we can get the bus down to the pier” he suggested

“Would you mind if we walked?” Charlotte asked “I’m in no hurry to get back”

“Nor am I” he said “and it’s such a beautiful day”

They walked along the promenade with a gentle breeze blowing off the sea and reminisced about the times he brought her and Katie to the seaside when they were little and they both talked about the places in the town that held special memories for them.

The Ghost Train in the Fun Park, Sharpington Day Parades, Halloween Fright Nights, Firework displays, Candy Floss, sand castles and paddling in the sea.

“Can we go and paddle now?” she asked

“Why not” he replied and they spent the next hour on the water’s edge, splashing in the waves, and they were so totally absorbed in what they were doing that they didn’t realize how far down the beach they had gone and when they looked up they were close to the pier.

They looked at each other and then the pier and then each other again

“Ice cream” they said in unison and raced up the beach towards the steps.

Whenever they went to Sharpington on day trips they always went to the Bizzoni’s Ice Cream Parlour on the Pier.

With his longer stride he could have easily beaten her but he held back to give her a chance and when they were 10 yards from their objective they were neck and neck but one more stride and Charlotte went head first into the sand.

“Oh God are you ok?” he asked and pulled her to her feet but she couldn’t answer because she was laughing so much.

Jonathon used his handkerchief to brush the sand off her laughing face and when he had finished she stopped laughing and they had their first kiss at the bottom of the steps by the Pier.

 

It was not a short kiss it was long and simmering after all it had been a long time coming and when it was over they smiled at each other and he asked

“Do you still want that ice cream?”

“Of course” she replied “it wasn’t that good a kiss”

The moment she finished speaking she ran squealing up the stairs, she paused at the top, briefly to claim victory in the race but set off again towards the pier when she realized how close behind her he was.

 

After ice cream they walked to the end of the pier where they kissed again as the day drew to a close and the most perfect day was made more so by another perfect kiss and then they walked hand in hand back towards the car.

 

They were about fifty yards from the car park and totally absorbed by each other that they hadn’t noticed Katie Overton pull up to the kerb and park, nor did they notice her exit the car and lean against the side of the car with her arms folded while she waited for them to reach her.

In fact they would have missed her altogether had she not yelled

“Oi”

They both turned around and looked in the direction of the call and then froze when they saw Katie standing with her arms folded and wearing a face like thunder.

“Shit” he exclaimed

“Oh God” Charlotte thought

“So what all this then?” she asked crossly as she walked towards them

“Well er…” he began

“It’s kind of…” Charlotte added

“It looks to me like you two are an item” Katie said only a yard away from them and then her face cracked and she hugged them both

“It’s about bloody time” Katie added and the three of them stood on the promenade in a group hug which expressed a warm hearted beginning to their love.

 

It turned out not to be a flash in the pan or a silly crush and they had many more trips to Sharpington over the next three years, for Ice creams at Bizzoni’s, chip suppers from Cod’s Plaice and kiss me quick hats.

But the most significant visit was three years after they had that first kiss.

 

They parked at the southern end of the promenade and walked along the beach paddling in the waves and as they reached the steps up to the Pier, Charlotte said wistfully

“This is where it all began”

“Yes it was” he agreed “But that was three years ago”

“Yes but it was a beautiful day” she mused “the most special day”

“It was but…” he began

“But what?” she asked with alarm

“I think I can do better this time” he said

“Really?” she said “I don’t think so, I don’t think you could ever top that day”

“Well I disagree” he said and knelt down in the sand and she went pale “Charlotte Kay will you marry me?”

When she regained the ability to speak Charlotte said yes and then he kissed her and another perfect day was made more so by another perfect kiss.