Grace’s life changed forever on that rainy Friday
afternoon in May when Harry walked into her bookshop, and subsequently led her
from the lonely, secluded world of her musty, dusty domain and into the
sunlight.
It was a bit of a culture shock at first, because
although they had both lost their parents years before, Grace came from a
family of one while Harry’s kin were apparently infinite.
However, despite that and the fact that he was 10 years
her senior he navigated her passage through all the pitfalls and hazards
inherent in family occasions until they loved her as much as he did.
Christmas had always been a cold and lonely season for
her, a time for locking herself away from all the poor deluded fools who
thought their lives would be enhanced just by indiscriminately saying merry
Christmas to all and sundry.
However, Harry dragged her kicking and screaming into the
folly and illuminated Christmas for her until she loved it as much as everyone
else, and when he married her, she was so happy she had to pinch herself to
make sure she wasn’t dreaming, but it was not just a special day for her and
Harry it was also the most joyous occasion the family had ever known.
He made her so happy he was her sun and her moon, and he
called her the star in his sky.
Since that rainy Friday afternoon in May when Harry
walked into her bookshop, 12 years had passed and now so had he.
Grace sat in the lounge of the house and home they made
together, and her eyes moved around the room from object to object.
Each one possessed with a memory that stabbed her like a
knife.
His armchair by the fire where he sat and read to her
beneath the hideous standard lamp he loved so much.
The Stelio Mola figurines
they bought on their honeymoon in Sardinia.
The Glass fronted cabinet housing the numerous crystal
ornaments he'd bought for her, on birthdays, Christmases, and anniversary’s,
each one holding a separate special memory, and as she looked at them each one
wounded her afresh.
Her eyes settled on the bookshelf, each shelf crammed with
the books they loved so much, and the tears fell, slowly at first, appearing
from the corner of her eye like a solitary jewel before cascading down her
cheek, then another followed, and then another.
She didn’t know how she would continue without him.
Harry had led her from the gloom of O’Brien’s bookshop
and into the light and now darkness had returned to her world.
Whenever she was sad Harry would comfort her and dry her
eyes, who would comfort her now? who would wipe away her tears now?
Harry was a strong man, physically and morally, and he
was strong in his faith, he was a lifelong believer, and he lived his life by
Gods rules.
Through all the years of her solitude her faith had been
placed on hold but with his love it had been rekindled, but now with his
passing it was cooling again, and she was angry with God.
Even though on his death bed he made her promise to
temper her anger and under no circumstances was she to return herself to the
shelf.
That might have been difficult as the musty bookshop she
came from was no more, as it was now a ghastly coffee shop.
But were it not, she would not have returned there, there
was only one place she wanted to be now Harry was gone.
The funeral was every bit as agonizing as she had
anticipated,
Harry’s family had done their best to support and comfort
her, but they were grieving for him also.
Somehow, she got through it though, but it was with great
relief that she said goodbye to the last guest, Charles Braithwaite, one of the
partners from Harry’s law firm but just before he left he gave Grace a memory
stick.
“Harry made a video” he said as he handed to her “A
living will if you wish”
She wore a puzzled expression as she stared at it sitting
in the palm of her hand.
“He requested that you watch it after the funeral, when
you were alone” Charles continued.
Grace poured herself a large glass of wine and drank half
of it before she plugged the memory stick into the USB port on the TV.
She sat in Harry’s armchair and took a deep breath and
then he appeared.
“Hey Hon” he said, and she gasped when she saw his lovely
smiling face
“I hope you saw me off in style” he added with false
bravado, “I wish I could have been there” he frowned
“No, no, I wish I was still there with you” he corrected
himself and paused to compose himself
“I love you so much and you’ve made me so, so happy”
He paused again
“I love you too Harry” Grace said through the tears
“I’m sorry darling for hurting you, and for leaving you
alone.
Part of me thinks that if only I had walked into
Waterston’s all those years ago, instead of O’Brien’s, I would have spared you
all this pain.
But the selfish part of me would not have missed our time
together no matter what the price”
“Now I’ve gone, and my life is over, but yours is not”
And then Harry put on a sterner expression as he stared
down the lens and said
“And don’t even think of coming after me, even though I
love you so very, very much I don’t want to see you again for a very long time”
His voice faltered towards the end of the sentence and
then there was a break in the recording before he reappeared recomposed.
“Now just remember when things get tough the family are
there for you, they’re your family now and they love you and they will help
you”
Harry paused and took a drink of water
“Ok darling listen very carefully because this is
important, keep your faith and don’t go blaming God for this” he said wagging
his finger and Grace laughed
as she always did when he put on his stern face.
There
was another break in the recording and when he returned, he said
“You
are still a young woman….”
“Pah”
she exclaimed
“And
don’t think I can’t hear you contradicting me, you still have a life ahead of
you and I want you to live it, I don’t want my well-loved book returned to the
shelf, to be forgotten and left unloved.
You
must keep the book open and keep the pages turning”
“I
have to go now darling” he said and smiled
“No,
no, not yet” Grace begged “Don’t go yet”
“I
love you darling and I’ll love you forever” and he was gone, and Grace broke
down completely.
Grace
heeded his words she allowed herself to be absorbed into the Edwards family and
supported them as much as they supported her, and she didn’t return the book to
the shelf.
She
kept the book open and the pages turning and although she never loved anyone as
she did Harry, she did have a happy life.
