CHRISTMAS CANOODLE

 

She is the object of my desire

Hers is the name I sit and doodle

Oh, how I long to kiss those lips

As Sweet as apple strudel

I would give everything I own

The whole kit and caboodle

To spend one minute in her arms

And share a Christmas canoodle

Uncanny Christmas Tales – (031) Navigating Christmas

 

The Downshire Navigation was part of the canal network which ran between Nettlefield in the north, down through Millmoor and the Oakham’s to Northchapel, Abbeyvale and then to its most southerly point, Abbottsford, where it again headed north, this time to Childean, Purplemere and Finchbottom where it joined the River Finch.

But the narrow boat, the Lily of the Vale, was moored on a stretch of the canal close to Lower Oakham, which was where Samantha Caddick’s family home was, but the Lily was her new home.

She had bought her when she was 18 with some of the money from the National Savings Certificate her grandparents had purchased when she was born.

The rest of the money and a lot more besides was spent on restoring the old lady, with the invaluable practical assistance from her dad.

But after seven years, spending every spare minute, evenings, weekends and holidays, the day came, in mid-November for her to take up residence aboard her own narrowboat, and moved her chattels with the help of her best friend Clare Todd.

Well, she always called her, her best friend, but in reality, she was her only proper friend, she had sacrificed a lot of friendships since leaving college except Clare because she never put conditions on their friendship.

They also had a lot in common, both had strong Christian upbringings, they both had unwavering faith, were both only children, were both redheads, were both five feet nothing and they were always there for each other.

While Sammi was rebuilding her boat, Clare was getting married, having a child, and getting divorced while pregnant with their second child, and through all the joy and trauma Sammi was there.

So, on moving day Toddy was on hand to help, they were going to use both of their cars, but Sammi wasn’t taking everything she owned because she would be a regular visitor to the old family home, to use the washing machine and tumbler.

So, they headed away from the village for barely a mile along narrow lanes until they suddenly turned off into a little car park by the Navigation and came to a halt.

They were only about 50 yards from their destination, so they loaded themselves up with boxes, but because of their diminutive statures they struggled to see where they were going.

Fortunately, a fellow Bargie, or two, came to their aid, in the shape of the Poll’s.

“Can we help?” a voice asked

“Who said that?” Toddy asked and peered around the box she was carrying and added

“Good heavens”

It was at that point that Sammi also looked around her bundle

“I think I’m seeing double” she said

What they were actually seeing were twins, identical twins, around their own age, just shy of six feet tall, pleasant looking with short brown hair.

“Identical twins” Sammi said

“George Poll” the first one said

“Stuart” added the other 

“Samantha Caddick” she said “Sammi”

“Clare Todd” Toddy chimed in “Toddy”

“We’re not quite identical” George said and lifted the hair away from his forehead to reveal a horizontal 4-inch scar

“I got him with a Cricket bat when we were seven” Stuart confessed proudly, Sammi thought the scar was rather fetching.

“We assumed you were headed for the “Lily of the Vale” George said “So we thought you might like some help”

“That’s very kind” Sammi said “Thank you, I’m afraid there’s more in the car”

“No problem, let’s get this aboard first” George suggested “And then we’ll help with the rest”

 

With the first boxes and bundles safely on board the four of them walked back towards the car park.

“So, which one is yours” Sammi asked

“The Witch of Oakham” George replied “Not as pristine as the “Lily”” he said “But I’m getting there, it’s very much a work in progress”

“Just you?” Sammi asked

“Yes, I’m only visiting” Stuart interjected “I’m only up here for a week’s training course, then I’m back home to Shallowfield”

“Shallowfield?” Toddy echoed

“Toddy’s spending Christmas in Shallowfield” Sammi added

“Really?” Stuart asked

“Yes, the girls and I are spending Christmas with my Aunt Ruth” Clare explained

“Girls?”

“Yes, my daughters” Clare explained

“How old?” Stuart asked

“Jane 6 and Daisy 4” she replied proudly

“I have a son Callum, who’s 6” Stuart said just as they reached the car.

 

They comfortably managed the rest of Sammi’s possessions between them and George pointed out that there didn’t appear to be a lot of stuff for two girls and Sammi laughed and said

“No this is all mine”

“I’m a land lubber” Toddy explained “I prefer foundations, walls and a roof”

“Me too” Stuart agreed

 

Once everything was down in the cabin Samantha said

“Thank you so much for the help, now you have to let me buy you a drink”

“Great idea” Toddy chipped in

“Ok with me” George replied

“Me too” added Stuart “where do you want to go?”

“Well, I need to get back to Lower Oakham to collect my car” Toddy explained “So why don’t we go to the pub there”

“And I can bring you back afterwards” Sammi offered

“Ok let’s go” George replied, and he and Stuart started along the towpath.

“Nicely done” Sammi mouthed, and they fist bumped before following the twins.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been to Lower Oakham before, what’s the name of the pub we’re going to?” Stuart asked and the three of them chorused

“The Navigators”

 

After their promising beginning Samantha didn’t see much of George over the two weeks following, the weather turned distinctly awful, and the combination of work, weather and a desire to get settled into her cozy floating home as quickly as possible meant she didn’t manage any more than a wave.

However, on the plus side of the foul weather it meant she could focus on getting everything stowed away neatly, she liked neat, and by the end of November, she had brought everything from her parent’s house that she needed, and everything was where she wanted it to be, and she could relax and enjoy her new home.

Then on the morning of St Andrews Day she woke up with a start and shouted “Christmas”.

 

Sammi loved her parents dearly, but they didn’t really do Christmas as much as she would have liked, other than the religious aspect, they didn’t go all out with the festivities, decorations could best be described as minimalist, they didn’t stint on the presents though.

 

It was Christmas decorations, or the lack of them that led to Sammi waking abruptly and shouting “Christmas”

The next day was the 1st of December, and she didn’t have a single decoration.

It was a school day so she would accept no argument from Toddy and picked her up an hour later and they drove to Abbottsford’s Phoenix Centre, and she made a beeline for Hanratty’s Department Store because in her opinion they really knew how to do Christmas.

Once inside Sammi was like a child in a sweetshop at the end of rationing, she didn’t know where to look first, luckily Toddy was with her, because she reined her in a bit at times, otherwise she feared she would have bought the whole shop.

In her trolley, was a 4ft tree, baubles, garlands, swags, ornaments, lights, and tinsel, when she picked up a snow globe.

“You’ve only got a Narrow Boat Sammi, it’s not the Titanic”

“Point taken” she said and put the snow globe back on the shelf.

 

They took all her purchases to the car and then she treated Toddy to lunch and then dropped her home by mid-afternoon so she could pick up her children after which Sammi spent the rest of the day decorating the boat, and when she was finished, she was staggered to see the difference, there were coloured lights, garlands, swags, ornaments, tinsel and baubles everywhere.

“Goodness me” she exclaimed and started thinning them out a bit.

 

The next day she turned her attention to the outside of the boat, stringing several sets of solar powered LED lights from stem to stern and she was just making the finishing touches when she spotted George Poll walking along the tow path, and she was very pleased to see him.

They chatted for about ten minutes although there was quite a bit of flirting mixed in, but then the heavens opened.

“Come aboard” Sammi said and opened the door and went down the companion way, and when George looked up, he was staggered to see the interior had been transformed from when he and his brother helped her move in a couple of weeks earlier.

With the coloured lights, garlands, ornaments, and baubles almost everywhere.

“Merry Christmas” he exclaimed

“It’s the first time I’ve had my own place to decorate, and I’ve gone a bit overboard with the decs, but I love Christmas” she said unapologetically

“Have you not put yours up yet?”

“No, I’m not bothering this year” he confessed “I’ve not finished painting yet”

“Shame”

“But you’ve done more than enough for both of us” he said and laughed

“Well, I’ve still got room for a bit of Holly and a sprig of mistletoe” she said

 

The next week or so kept her gainfully occupied with the usual round of Church activities and Christmas shopping.

Toddy and the girls were heading to Shallowfield as soon as school broke up, so she had to have their presents bought and wrapped in plenty of time.

Keeping so busy however did have its compensations, it meant that she didn’t dwell on her disappointment regarding George Poll, she had thought she was making some progress with him, but she hadn’t seen hide nor hair of him for the best part of two weeks, and she was miffed.

But when she returned home after Church, around lunchtime on the last Sunday of Advent, she noticed signs of life aboard The Witch of Oakham and saw there was a Christmas Wreath hanging on the door, which made her smile.

Just at that moment the hatch opened, and George appeared

“Hi Sammi” he said and joined her on the tow path

“Hello George, I haven’t seen you for a while” she responded

“I’ve been in Shallowfield for the last two weeks, my Great Uncle George died” he explained

“Oh, I am sorry, where you close?”

“Yes, I was named after him” he replied “it’s been hard, what with the funeral, sorting his affairs and clearing his house”

“I imagine it was” she sympathized, and an uncomfortable silence followed for about a minute before she added

“I see you’ve entered the Christmas spirit”

And gestured with her eyes towards to wreath

“I like it”

“Oh yes thank you, I’ve already delivered yours to the Lily” he said.

“Really?” she said “That’s very kind”

“Well, they have a big Christmas market in Shallowfield, and I remembered what you said about wanting some holly and mistletoe, so I got you some, I know you didn’t mention a wreath, but I got you one anyway” he explained as they walked slowly along the tow path

“Thank you so much” she responded and when they reached her boat she added when seeing the wreath “That’s beautiful, and the holly is so vibrant”

“Would you like help putting it up?” he asked, which she definitely did not, she was more than capable of doing it herself, but she replied

“Oh yes that would be lovely”

 

Sammi supervised the hanging of the wreath and directed him for the placement of the holly swags, then she pointed up at the beam above the door.

“Can you hang the sprig of mistletoe up there?”

“No problem” he replied

“That looks great” she said when it was done

“We had better test for functionality though” she suggested and adopted a pose where her head was inclined, and she was pointing at her cheek.

“That seems reasonable” he agreed and leant down to kiss her cheek but at the precise point his lips were about to touch her skin she turned her head and kissed him on the lips, from where a more substantive kiss took place beneath the mistletoe, and Sammi had the romantic Christmas she had always dreamed of.

CHRISTMAS EVE

 

We sit beside the hearth,

Just Evelyn and I

Logs crackling in the grate

Flames are burning bright

 

Just the two of us

Alone in the fire side glow

Sitting in cosy comfort

Warm from head to toe

 

It was a year ago we met

On a very different night

When I first saw her face

In the soft glow of candle light

 

It was last Christmas Eve

When I first saw her

It was at midnight mass

And she was singing in the choir

 

She will be singing Carols

Again this Christmas Eve

We will have to stir ourselves

It’s almost time to leave

 

But before we leave the cosy scene

I have something to ask

But I’m a little bit scared

As I set about my task

 

This year has been so special

With her sharing my life

That I want Evelyn to marry me

I want her to be my wife

 

So as we sit beside the hearth,

Just Evelyn and I

Logs crackling in the grate

Flames burning bright

 

I pray that when I ask her

I get the response I dare not believe

And she will answered yes

And be MY Christmas Eve

CHRISTMAS CAROLE

 

My feelings and emotions,

Long since repressed,

Stirred from their slumber

Feelings I thought had long passed

Were awakened like a sleeping giant

Reappearing like long lost friends

Out of the blue and so unexpected

And Carole was the reason

We met by chance

A week or so before Christmas

In a crowded book shop

Amidst the throng of Christmas shoppers

We simultaneously emerged at the checkout

Both clutching a copy of the same book

The dickens classic

“A Christmas Carol”

Spotting each others proposed purchases

We both smiled

And as far as we could see

We were the only people smiling

Surrounded as we were

By a multitude of the disgruntled

I found myself suggesting coffee

And was pleasantly surprised to here her accept

Following that first chance meeting

We quickly became inseparable

We would sit and talk for hours

About everything and nothing

As we’d sit by the cosy fireside

We would share long walks in the country

And afternoons watching old movies

It soon became obvious

We had both found that elusive something

That had been just out of reach

Just over the next hill

We had found our soul mates

Now we share everything

She was the Christmas gift

I had been waiting for all my life

My very own Christmas cracker

My very own Christmas Carole

GIVE ME A KISS FOR CHRISTMAS

 

Give me a kiss for Christmas

For my love for you is strong

Give me a kiss for Christmas

I’ve been waiting oh so long

 

Give me a kiss for Christmas

On this special holy night

Give me a kiss for Christmas

Let me fill you with delight

 

Give me a kiss for Christmas

That is my only Christmas wish

I promise it will be much more

Than just another Christmas kiss

Uncanny Christmas Tales – (030) A Snowy Christmas

 

In the small but thriving English county of Downshire people go about the tasks of their everyday existence in ways that range from the mundane to the extraordinary as their forebears had done for centuries before, in the varied and diverse landscape, from the Ancient forests of Dancingdean and Pepperstock, the craggy ridges and manmade lakes of the Pepperstock Hills National Park, the rolling hills of the Downshire Downs, to the beautiful Finchbottom Vale and the short but beautiful coastline to the east.

But it’s in the sprawling village of Denmead where the participants of this particular tale live their lives, and the tale began in late November.

Hazel Fordham found herself living alone for the first time in her life at the age of twenty-seven, after her sister Hayley moved out to be with the love of her life.

Hazel hadn’t found hers yet, not that she didn’t have plenty of offers, because she was an attractive girl, but the men she seemed to attract had different expectations from a relationship to her. 

Living alone in the house she had been born in didn’t daunt her in anyway, and in many ways, life went on in exactly the same way as it did before Hayley left.

She was financially secure; Hayley and the rest of the family were still just a phone call away and she had plenty of friends.

The only thing she needed to immediately remedy was to buy a dog, she had always wanted one, but Hayley was allergic.

She didn’t know what sort of dog she wanted other than the size, the dog couldn’t be so big that it took her for a walk, because she was only 4ft 11 and nor could it be one of those ridiculous creatures that celebrities carried around in their handbags, other than that she was open to anything.

She heard through a colleague at work that a friend of theirs had a West Highland Terrier that they wanted to go to a good home.

Hazel was given a phone number and called to arrange a mutually convenient time for her to go round.

The address was only a few streets away, so she walked round to Cooper’s Copse Close to number 35, which was a bungalow, and the walk took her about 15 minutes.

She rang the bell and provoked a bark in response and then a moment later the door opened, and she was greeted by a pleasant looking man about her own age with sandy coloured hair.

“Mr. Miles?” she asked

“Clive” he replied “You must be Hazel”

“Yes”

“Please come in” he said and stood aside and let her pass and smiled

“He’s lovely” she thought and when she got inside, she felt the same about the dog, and it wagged his little tail frantically as Hazel made a fuss of him.

“Well, I can see he’s made up his mind about you already” Clive said

“He’s adorable” Hazel said “I don’t know how you can bare to part with him”

“Well, I have to admit it’s not through choice” he replied

“He’s my gran’s dog really but she reached the point where she was struggling to look after herself let alone this little fella” he explained “So she’s had to move into sheltered accommodation, and unfortunately he’s not allowed”

“That’s really sad” Hazel said, “Did you not want to take him?”

“I did but unfortunately my landlord doesn’t allow pets either” he replied and gave the dog a lot of fuss.

“Do you live locally?” she asked

“Yes, just five minutes away” Clive replied

“I’ve been staying here to look after him while we found him a good home, and I’ve got to clear the bungalow by the end of the month so the council can relet it”

Clive had made up his mind within a few minutes that Hazel was the right person to take on Snowy, but they still sat talking for over an hour.

Just before she took her leave, she wrote down her phone number and handed it to Clive

“I live locally as well so if you ever want to pop round and see him, or…. join us on our walk please just call”

“Really?” Clive said “That would be lovely”

Clive gave her a “bag for life” containing all of Snowy’s possessions and Clive waved them off and she returned it as she walked away with Snowy and she hoped he was a good prospect.

 

She was on a walk in the woods with Snowy on a cold and damp November morning a week later when they took a trail they had not followed previously, which was almost exclusively uphill, and when they reached the summit, she stopped and looked down at the farm below, which had its own wind turbine, and she wasn’t sure she liked what she saw.

“It’s hideous, isn’t it?” a voice behind her said

Hazel turned around to see it was Clive Miles

“It is rather” she agreed “and it’s nice to see you again”

“And you” he said and then added “And not forgetting you either boy”

“He’s pleased to see you too” Hazel pointed out

As he was stroking Snowy, he said

“I was going to ring you but in the turmoil of clearing Gran’s bungalow I lost the piece of paper you wrote your phone number on”

“How annoying” she said but internally she was saying “thank goodness for that”

She had hoped he would ring, and she was really disappointed when he didn’t.

“I saw you cross the road into the woods” Clive said “so I followed, but I couldn’t catch you up, especially when you started uphill, you are deceptively fast for someone with …” 

“Little legs” she suggested and giggled

“Yes” he agreed and laughed as well.

At the end of the walk, they both expressed how much they’d enjoyed it and said they’d like to do it again.

However over the next week or so the walks were foreshortened by the weather, which was not conducive to prolonged country walks, but the dog had to be exercised, so some exposure to the elements was necessary, there was finally a break in the weather, so Hazel phoned Clive and they arranged to meet at the entrance to the woods, so Snowy was given a thorough walking and at the end of it the three of them were shattered, and they still had to get home.

The walk back down through the woods was much harder on their legs than the one up was and when they reached the road Hazel said

“I’m exhausted, and I really need a cup of tea, would you like to join me?”

“I’d love to” Clive

 

The day after it was a cold foggy day, one of those days when the fog clung on all day, so they took Snowy on a safer route, where the path was more substantial, but even that was not without problems, as one of the paths had been blocked by a fallen tree, and Hazel spotted something in the branches, a huge ball of mistletoe.

“Look” she exclaimed “Can you get some?”

“Erm…” Clive exclaimed ashen faced

“What’s wrong?” she asked with concern

“Heights” he said sheepishly “I can’t even stand on a stool” 

“No problem” she said handing him the dog’s lead “hold that”

Hazel clambered up onto the trunk and began walking up an adjoining branch like she was a highwire performer, confident and surefooted.

“Be careful” he called with concern as she reached a narrower branch and then when she had a clump of mistletoe in hand she about faced, and he closed his eyes and didn’t open them again until she jumped down beside him.

 

The freezing fog was showing no sign of abating and had got into their bones, so they cut the walk short at that point and went back to her house for coffee.

When they were sitting in the kitchen drinking their coffee and were beginning to thaw out, she picked up the mistletoe and asked   

“Do you think this is as good as shop bought?”

“I think so, especially after your daredevil act” he replied

“Well, I’ve only every used shop bought before” Hazel confessed as she stood up and walked towards him

“So, I think we should test the quality of this bunch”

So, Hazel leant down and kissed him, and a few moments later she was sitting on his lap, and they didn’t need the mistletoe anymore.

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS # 4

 

All I want for Christmas

Is the special girl I love

All I want for Christmas

Is my angel from above

 

She need not be wrapped

And tied up with a bow

I’ll take her as she is

Smiling face aglow

 

Any other Christmas gift

Is valueless to me

I just want my angel

Beneath the Christmas tree

 

So on Christmas day

As we stand beside the tree

I will take her in my arms

And kiss her tenderly