Steve Berry
had always had a dislike for Christmas, despite all the jollity and faux fun,
because unlike many of his Christmas mad friends he had no happy Christmas
memories to anesthetise him against the season.
His parents
were alcoholics and each year their Christmas came in a bottle and thanks to
his father, Steve’s came with a slap.
So, his
childhood Christmases were memories he would rather have forgotten, but as he
grew up he found that adulthood brought no relief and it always seemed to him
that when shit happened at that time of the year, Christmas just magnified the
misery.
For
example, if someone dies at Christmas the very season makes it more keenly
felt.
He could
testify to that from personal experience, as his mother died on Christmas Eve
when he was only 19.
He has no
idea where his father was and quite frankly, he didn’t care, he never showed up
for the funeral and he could have been dead as well for all he knew.
So as a result,
he has never trusted Christmas, because he knows that horror lurks beneath the
coloured lights, tinsel, and paper chains.
He used to
dream of getting away at Christmas and going somewhere that doesn’t celebrate the
jolly season in any way shape or form.
But where
exactly is that place?
If anyone had
any idea, then answers on a postcard to Steve Berry would have been appreciated.
So, each
year like the rest of us he is subjected to all the usual false jollity,
Christmas Parties, Secret Santa’s and Christmas Lunches, Paper hats, crackers
and all that festive shit, and everywhere he went from October onwards was
bedecked with tinsel, garlands, bells, baubles and led lights.
Each and every
shop plays endless spools of regurgitated Christmas tunes and God forbid you
ever broach the subject of the morons who decorate the outside of their houses
with a myriad of twinkling lights.
Steve never
had a girlfriend at Christmas, he always dumped them well in advance or got
himself dumped, when they started to get too jolly.
So, when he
was 21, he developed the perfect anti Christmas strategy, he would always save
a chunk of annual leave and finished work at least one week before the big day
and returned after the New Year debacle.
He would
stock up with enough food for three weeks, even though it meant doing battle with
the festive numpties in the supermarket and armed with a stack of DVD box sets he
became a Christmas recluse until the year turned.
He
exercised that strategy for 9 years and his philosophy is
“so far so
good”.
In recent
years he found it had become easier with the advent of catch up TV, he just
needed to avoid the adverts that reminded him that it’s Christmas or that he
can’t afford a holiday.
So, he was
in the Pig and Whistle, not exactly a real shit hole of a pub, but close,
however it was the only one in town guaranteed not to play Christmas stuff,
because the landlord Phil hated Christmas almost as much as Steve did.
It was his last
night out before his Christmas exile and it was his intention to get totally
shitfaced as he had almost three weeks to recover.
He was not
a social animal; he liked his own company and if he ever engaged in
conversation with fellow patrons it was because he had initiated it, Steve was not
averse to being rude if someone else spoke first.
So, he was sat
in the furthest most corner of the bar reading his book and enjoying his third
pint, when it happened.
“Hello” she
said
Steve
ignored her, normally if he didn’t respond they’d get the message and go away
“Hello” she
said louder “Are you ok?”
“I was” he
sighed
“Oh, dear
Mr Grinch” she said “what you need is some Christmas spirit”
“I’m fine” he
insisted
“I don’t
think you are, sitting on your own in the furthest most corner” she said
Steve
looked at her for the first time, she was roughly his age, maybe a little younger,
and she was wearing a red dress and red and white striped stockings and had
tinsel in her mousy hair.
“Who are
you? The Christmas fairy?” he asked gruffly, he really wanted to tell her to
fuck off and take her Christmas cheer with her, but he thought she was quite
cute.
“No, I’m Holly,
Phil’s niece” she said
“Holly? How
very festive” He said sarcastically
“Yes, I’m
going to instil a little Christmas spirit in the place” Holly said
“But Phil
hates Christmas” Steve informed her
“I know”
she said “which is why he’s going to Las Vegas until the New Year”
“When?” He
asked
“Half an
hour ago” she replied
“So, are
you going to come and join the rest of us?”
“No thanks
I don’t do Christmas” he said and returned to his book
“Oh well
perhaps some Christmas music will get you in the mood” she said resolutely
“Oh God” he
said
The
Christmas party mix was really grating on him, but he was too far along with
his Christmas strategy to go off hunting for another Christmas free pub, so he
had to put up with it.
As the
evening wore on, she persisted in trying to draw him out of his corner, but to
no avail.
He left the
corner only to go to the bar and get another drink and then returned to his solitude.
Apart from
the music upsetting his plans there was the added annoyance of customers, more
arriving every hour, word had got out that Phil “The Grinch who stole
Christmas” had gone for the duration, and that there was a new Santa in
town.
This only
became a problem however when, while he was at the bar, somebody took over his
corner, so he had to return to the bar again.
“Back again
already Steve?” Holly asked
“Someone is
in my seat” he said
“Well pull
up a stool” she suggested
“Do I have
a choice?” he said grumpily
“You’re
just a little ray of sunshine” she said and laughed
“I can see
I’m going to have to use all my magic on you”
He settled
himself down on the stool and said
“I’ve never
seen it so busy in here”
“I know”
Holly said “I’m going to need more staff at this rate”
“Good luck
with that” he said
Steve woke
up the next morning with his face stuck to the mock leather of a bench seat and
when he painfully sat himself up, he saw he was in the lounge bar of the Pig
and Whistle.
Well he had
intended getting shit faced the night before, so mission accomplished there, he
had also expected to wake up with a hangover, so another box ticked, but it was
never part of the plan to wake up at the pub.
“Good
morning sunshine” Holly called as she crashed through the door wearing a
dressing gown and slippers.
“Ow” he
said “have some respect for the dead”
She put a
mug of black coffee on the table in front of him and peered at his bloodshot
eyes
“Blimey!
Can you actually see through those?” she asked
“I hope you
don’t drink like that when you’re working”
“Well I
don’t need to worry about work until January” he said and sipped at his coffee
“Don’t you
remember anything about last night?” Holly asked with a wry smile on her lips
He closed
his eyes and replied
“I remember
I don’t like Christmas”
“Anything
else?” Holly persisted
“It was
very busy, very noisy” Steve said but could remember nothing else
“Do you
remember me saying I needed more staff?” she asked
“Yes, I do
remember that” he replied
“Good” she
said “because your it”
“What?” he
said loudly and then winced
“You
volunteered to work right through till New Year’s Eve”
“I can’t
have” Steve said
“Well you
did” She insisted and showed him a piece of paper detailing the fore mentioned
offer signed by Steve.
“That
doesn’t count” he said “I was pissed”
“It’s
legally binding” Holly stated “It’s notarized by a solicitor”
Steve
stared at the signature
“Sam Culver?”
he said “he’s not a solicitor he’s a forklift driver”
“Be that as
it may, but he has still witnessed your signature on this contract” she said coolly
“Contract?”
he said in disbelieve
“Contract”
she confirmed
“Oh, please
you’re not really going to hold me to this?” Steve said waving the “contract”
in her direction
“You start tonight”
she informed him
“Oh God I’ve
sold my soul to the Christmas fairy” he said with his head in his hands
“I prefer
Christmas angel” she said “But I’m not the one with tinsel in my hair”
“Oh shit”
he exclaimed
“Get yourself
a hair of the dog, I’m going to get dressed” Holly said smiling
“Oh, and there’s
no drinking on the job, by the way”
Over the
week and a half that followed his entrapment, between his first shift and
Christmas Eve, Holly had done her best to elicit the details of why it was that
Steve hated Christmas so much.
Holly had
noticed right at the beginning that he was not the miserable git that she first
thought.
In fact,
that first night when he was forced to sit at the bar, he had been very funny,
once he managed to forget it was Christmas.
But every
time he heard someone utter the words happy Christmas it was like he’d been
stabbed.
So, she
relentlessly picked away at the scab every day, but she couldn’t get him to
open up, but she wasn’t prepared to give up under any circumstances.
Steve would
never have admitted it and despite his initial protests he was rather enjoying
working behind a bar again.
He hadn’t
done it since he left university and started working as an accountant.
The
repetitive festive music still grated on him, though less so, even the
Christmas t-shirts and jumpers that Holly made him wear had become less
onerous.
Holly
herself led by example and wore an almost inexhaustible supply of festive
outfits and he had to admit she still looked cute in which ever one she was
wearing.
She was a
nosey cow though and kept poking and prodding at him trying to find out what
made him tick, but it amused him that his not playing ball was driving her
crackers.
On
Christmas Eve Steve Berry drove to the pub, arriving at 9.30am, and thought
“It’s going
to be a long day”
It was
bitterly cold and the sky was grey and overcast, he sniffed the air and knocked
on the front door which Holly opened within a couple of minutes and she was
already dressed in her Christmas outfit, namely Mrs. Clause.
“Morning
Steve” she said “Happy Christmas Eve”
“Why are
you always so cheerful?” he asked in response
“Because “it’s
a wonderful life”” she said
“Oh God are
you going to throw festive film titles at me all day?”
“I hadn’t
thought of that” she said “but it sounds like fun”
He took his
coat off and revealed his jumper of the day adorned with a reindeer’s head.
“There’s
snow in the air” he said hanging up his coat
“Lovely”
she replied with a chuckle “White Christmas”
“Stop it”
Steve said
Holly had
walked to the bar picked something up and returned with it behind her back.
“What’s
that?” he asked suspiciously
“Antlers”
she said triumphantly and put them on his head
“Please no”
he said “that’s too much”
“Stop
whining Grinch or I’ll put the Christmas tape on” she threatened
They knew
it was going to be busy in the pub that day so in addition to Holly and Steve
there were barmaids Clare and Petra and in the kitchen were Stefano and Ausra.
It wasn’t manically
busy but there was a steady flow all day, shoppers popping in for a warm, that
kind of thing, and as it was such a bitter cold day the kitchen did a roaring
trade in warming chili, casseroles and stews so much so that they kept the
kitchen going right through the afternoon, it was not however a day for cold
desserts.
However, by
five o’clock they had sold out and the till drawers were stuffed.
Holly kept
taking them away to the office, but they kept filling up.
While Holly
counted the takings in the office, Steve and Petra manned the bar and Clare
helped Steph and Ausra clear away.
Job done
they joined Steve at the bar and were enjoying a well-earned drink when Holly
came out.
“Well done
you lot” she said “I hope that drink is on the house”
“It is”
Steve said
“We have had
a phenomenal day” she said handing out pay packets “so there’s a little
something extra in there”
“Thanks
boss” Stephanos said
“Cheers Holl”
Petra
“Thanks
Holly” Clare and Ausra said simultaneously
What she
didn’t tell them was that the little extra was 100 pounds per head, they
wouldn’t find that out until later.
“Where’s
mine?” Steve asked
“Grinch
tax” Holly said to the great amusement of the others and patted his cheek
“Charming”
he replied but was laughing when he said it, he knew that the others were
finished until after Christmas, but he still had the evening shift.
Although he
wasn’t bothered about the money particularly, he knew he would get it, he had
actually enjoyed Christmas Eve for the first time ever.
They all
finished their drinks and it was the moment that Steve hated most, the final
farewell when Christmas wishes were exchanged.
“Merry
Christmas” Clare said and kissed Steve
“And you”
he replied
“Happy
Christmas Stevie” Ausra said kissing him
“Yes, you
too” said Steve
“Happy,
Happy Christmas” Petra said planting a very exuberant kiss on his mouth
“Ditto” he
replied
“A very
happy Christmas my friend” Stephanos said extravagantly and feigned to kiss him
but shook his hand instead and roared with laughter.
“Have a
good one” Steve said also laughing.
When they
had gone Steve noticed it had started snowing lightly.
“So why can’t
you say Happy Christmas?” Holly asked
“I told you
it was going to snow” he said
“Don’t
change the subject” Holly persisted
“I can say
it, I just didn’t need to as everyone else said it”
He answered
“I didn’t want to wear the phrase out”
“Baubles” Holly
retorted
Holly
disappeared upstairs for half an hour between the afternoon and evening
sessions, and when she came down, she had changed outfits and she wore a
different red Dress with white trim and a more daring neckline, but instead of
her customary red and white stripy tights she was wearing black ones with holly
motifs, how appropriate Steve thought as he was wiping down the tables in
readiness for the next wave of punters.
As he
looked at her Steve thought she was really very cute, but because of his
Christmas phobia he would probably have to liberate her from the Christmas
stuff first if she was ever to progress further than cute.
“I wish I’d
asked Steph to keep some Chili back” Holly said “I’m starving”
“Don’t
worry” he said “when Debbie arrives, I’ll go over the road and get a takeaway”
“Ok” she concurred
“but what takeaway”
“Your
choice, my treat” he replied
“What? a
Christmas treat?” Holly asked
“No, just a
treat” he replied and smiled
Debbie
arrived right on time.
“The snows
settling” she said as she went behind the bar
“Hi Debbie”
Holly said
“So, what’s
your poison?” Steve asked
“Pizza” She
replied very definitely “Pepperoni”
“Have you
eaten Debbie?” he shouted
“Yes, but I
can eat a slice or two” she replied
As he
walked across the road to Dominoes, he noticed the snow was falling faster and
would lay quite deep if it persisted.
Despite
Debbie saying she would only eat a piece or two he decided to get a pizza each,
he’d seen Debbie eat before and for a skinny bird she could really pack it
away.
When he got
back to the pub the clientele had almost doubled so he thought it was the
beginning of the evening rush and wasn’t sure if they’d have time to enjoy the
pizzas, but he needn’t have worried as it proved to be a false dawn and the
rush never materialized.
He was
right about one thing though; Debbie demolished a whole pizza.
By seven o’clock
the numbers hadn’t really changed even if the faces had and by eight with the
snow falling thick and fast in near blizzard conditions it was fairly obvious
punters weren’t going to be venturing out in any significant numbers.
Knowing
that Debbie had a ten-mile journey home Holly said
“I think
you’d better get off hon or you won’t get home at all”
“Are you
sure Holl?” Debbie asked
“Absolutely”
She said and handed Debbie her coat and her pay packet.
“Thanks
Holly” she said “Happy Christmas”
“Happy
Christmas and drive safely” she said “Text me when your home”
“Ok, happy Christmas Steve” she said
“And you
Deb” he replied
Holly had
walked to the door with Debbie and stared out the window for a long time as she
watched her get underway, when she returned to the bar, she said
“You’d
better get off as well Steve”
“No, I’ll
stay a bit longer” he replied
“This might
be your last chance” she said “it’s coming down like billy-o”
“That’s ok”
he said “I can always kip in the lounge bar again”
It was a
strange night although there weren’t many customers, they still managed to sell
quite a lot of beer.
They had a
succession of punters coming in for jugs of ale, so much so that they ran out
of jugs.
But all in all,
it was very quiet, so by 9 o’clock Holly said
“Right
let’s have a drink”
“I thought
you didn’t like the staff drinking on duty” he said
“What the
hell its Christmas” she replied and noticed that he visibly tensed at the word
Christmas, she pulled him a pint and poured a glass of wine for herself, and
they sat on stools on the punters side of the bar to drink them.
“Do you
mind if I crash here tonight Holly? He asked
“I’d rather
you crashed here than out there” She replied
“And it
looks like my plans for tomorrow will need to be revised, so we can spend the
day together, if you like”
“Ok thanks”
he said
They were
well into their second drink when Holly asked
“So, what
exactly is the deal with you and Christmas?”
“Do we have
to go there” he asked
“Yes, we
do” she said “I’ve been watching you this week and every time someone wishes
you a happy Christmas you react as if you’ve been stabbed”
“Well I
wouldn’t go that far” Steve responded
“I would”
she said but he just shrugged
“Come on
Steve” she insisted “You are such an infuriating man, cough it up”
“Can’t you
just leave it alone?” he said
“You can’t
tell me you haven’t enjoyed this week” she said “or that you would have
preferred to be locked away in your flat pretending that Christmas was just a
bad dream”
Steve
drained his glass and went through the hatch and pulled himself another one.
“I don’t
want to go into all the details, suffice is to say that for me there was no
happy little boy waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve” he said painfully
“My
childhood was unbearable, and Christmas was even more so”
Holly
didn’t speak but sat with head sympathetically inclined
“Not
everyone is raised by Mary Poppins” he said factiously
“That’s not
very fare” Holly said hurtfully
“I suppose
you think my Christmases were happy?”
Steve
merely snorted
“I had
lousy Christmases as a child, my parents didn’t believe in it, so we didn’t
celebrate it,” she said forcefully, though Steve looked unconvinced
“My parents
are hippies” She stated “Christmases for me were spent in a VW Camper van on
Salisbury plain, don’t get me wrong, I love my parents and for me at the time
it seemed perfectly normal and I was perfectly happy”
Holly
paused
“And I
would get a present, though it was never wrapped in Christmas paper, and there were
no Christmas trees, no baubles or tinsel, no garlands or colored lights, in short
in my childhood Christmas just didn’t exist”
“So now
you’re overcompensating” Steve said and took another drink.
“Not at all
I decided that feeling sorry for myself was not an option, and I refused to be
dictated to by the past” she said “I decided I would make new memories and stop
looking back”
“I was 17
when I first experience a proper Christmas, and I thought it was wonderful, and
magical and I’ve made sure I’ve enjoyed everyone since”
“There is
no similarity between our childhoods” he said
“Your childhood
was happy it just didn’t include Christmas, mine was desperately unhappy”
“And you
blame Christmas for it” Holly said “I know for you, life was different, but I
want to squeeze the most joy I can from every moment”
Steve just
looked at her as she took a brief pause
“Just as
you should” She said and put her hand on his knee at the precise moment the
doors burst open and a new group of punters came through the door.
Steve stood
behind the bar drying glasses as he watched Holly as she chatted to the clientele,
each table in turn.
He liked it
as she walked from table to table, she had a gait that was easy on the eye and
the way the flared skirt moved across her legs was quite sensual.
However, one
by one the meagre band of customers disappeared into the snowy night after the
usual exchange of Christmas Greetings.
It was
midnight and as the last customer left for the night, Holly wished them a happy
Christmas and locked the front doors and as she slipped the last bolt across
and drew the curtain, Steve appeared behind her just as the church bells
chimed.
Holly
turned and faced him
“Merry
Christmas Holly” he said and kissed her
