Friday 8 December 2023

Uncanny Love Tales – (061) The Oik and the Compromised Lady

 

The Oakham’s are made up of Upper and Lower Oakham, which are located in the Finchbottom Vale, in the most rural part of the county between Millmoor and Appleby.

The Upper village is so named because it sits on the hill and Lower Oakham nestles in the Valley below.

The Oakham’s are starkly divided between the well-heeled and the down at heel and Ryan Fisher bucked the trend by not fitting either category.

Ryan had his own small holding and was also the local jack of all trades.

So not the sort of person you would readily expect to be bedding a Lady, but it happened, nonetheless, and quite often.

But they didn’t usually wake up in bed together the next day, but following an unexpected, but nonetheless extraordinarily passionate sexual encounter, Ryan woke about midmorning to find Lady Claire Morrissey was naked beside him, so they made love.

 

The previous night’s encounter was unexpected because he was already on his way to bed  when her Ladyship arrived on his doorstep dressed in a full-length designer evening dress and a lavish faux fur shrug.

 

After making love as they lay in the afterglow, he was looking forward to spending the afternoon in a similar vein to the morning and he was sure that similar thoughts were crossing Claire’s mind and the heat of passion was coursing through her veins as ferociously as his own, he definitely had a distinct trouser tickle and felt sure she was feeling the female equivalent thereof.

So, with that in mind he was just trying to formulate a plan to achieve his ends when there was a knock on the front door.

“Who’s that?” Claire asked with panic in her voice and a look on her face like a startled rabbit.

“I don’t know” he replied, “I’ll go down and find out”.

“It was just the postman” he called as he ran upstairs and found Claire pacing around the bedroom in her black silk knickers and her faux fur shrug; and Ryan had never wanted her more than at that moment.

“What am I going to do?” she said panic stricken.

“Well don’t panic for a start” he suggested.

“It’s alright for you” she shouted, “everyone already knows what you’re like, people expect more of me”.

Then she continued pacing, picked up her evening dress and threw it on the bed.

“What was I thinking” she ranted “how can I go home in that; everyone will know I’ve been out all night”.

“With your bit of rough” he said as he left the room while she continued her rant and returned a few minutes later carrying some clothes in his arms.

“The Jeans and sweater are my sister’s, she’s a similar shape to you” he said handing her the clothes “and the pumps are my niece’s she has the same size foot”.

Claire looked at him and then ran into his arms.

“You’re a life saver” she said and kissed him.

“Get dressed” he said and left the room again.

“You’ve never asked me to do that before” she said.

 

“Put your party clothes in this” he said when he returned carrying a holdall and she did as he told her, while he quickly got dressed himself and went downstairs, and she walked gingerly down the stairs to join him after about ten minutes.

“Give me the bag” he said and taking her by the hand led her out to the kitchen and through the adjoining door and into the garage.

“Wait in shadows” he instructed and kissed her forehead.

Ryan then opened the garage door and opened the rear passenger door on the driver’s side of his pickup and threw in the bag.

There was a car rug on the seat, so he picked it up, and gestured to Claire, then kept watch while she crept out from the garage and onto the back seat of the car where he covered her with the

Blanket and closed the door.

“I think your reputation is safe madam” he whispered.

“I feel like a scarlet woman” she giggled.

“So, do I” he replied.

“You’re sex mad” she said in her posh plummy tones.

He looked in the rear-view mirror as they drove though Lower Oakham, Claire was laying across the back seat completely covered by the blanket.

And Every time they passed another car or a pedestrian he shouted.

“Hide”.

Once through the village he headed up the hill towards the posh side of Upper Oakham.   

“I don’t get to Nob Hill as often as I’d like” he said.

“I don’t get nob as often as I’d like” Claire retorted.

“Lady Claire Morrissey!!” he said shocked “You’re supposed to be a Lady”.

“I am a Lady, just Not when I’m with you” she replied, “with you I can be a common Trollope”.

“Fare comment” he replied.

She lived in a huge detached Victorian House set in ten acres and he drove past and parked in the lane.

“Well, I’ve got you to Nob Hill princess, but I don’t know how to get you into your castle unseen” he said and there was silence for two minutes until she suddenly exclaimed.

“Golf club!”

“What about it?” he asked.

“My “Castle” backs onto the Golf Course” she said smugly.

So, he drove his pickup truck into the Golf Club carpark and parked in the corner beneath a beach tree and as soon as he pulled on the hand brake she yelled from beneath the blanket.

“We made it”.

“Yes, your reputation is unblemished” he agreed as he opened his car door.

Then he opened the rear door and lifted the blanket to reveal Claire’s smiling face, so he bent down and kissed her sweet lips.

After the kiss she rolled over and crawled off the back seat and crouched down out of sight behind the open door where he put his flat cap on her head

“Ok I’m off” she said. 

“What about your bag?” he asked.

“Bring it round later and you can collect your reward” she replied and disappeared into the trees.

Uncanny Love Tales – (060) Perfectly Oblivious

Brassington is a large sprawling village nestled in the wooded hills on the southern edge of the Dancingdean Forest in the southeast corner of Downshire.

Lauren Combe was a pretty girl with a sweet nature with an angelic countenance and strawberry coloured hair.

Standing barely five feet tall, slender, and pale, with skin which was always flushed pink like she was freshly scrubbed.

However, Lauren was no innocent, and it wasn’t as if she hadn’t had boyfriends, and she was certainly no virgin, but she hadn’t found the man to get her motor purring until she first met Barry.

And Lauren was so lovely, always wearing a smile, how could Barry Colwell not fall for her.

She was almost ten years younger than him and was just a few months short of her 22nd birthday and was a native of the village of Brassington.

But the thing that endeared her to Barry the most was the fact that she seemed perfectly oblivious of her overall beauty and the effect she had on the men and women around her, so they were a perfect couple.

Uncanny Love Tales – (059) Doubting

 

Rob Allen arrived at the Andersons house and was talking to Ken and Linda, his girlfriend’s parents, in the kitchen, and after a few minutes Marcia arrived to find the three of them standing in close order on one side of the room.

“Hello babe” she said as she walked over and kissed Rob.

“I didn’t know you were here I didn’t hear the bell”.

She didn’t hear it because he didn’t ring it, but she didn’t know that, but she did realise something was amiss.

“Why are you all huddled over here?” she said suspiciously and tried to peer behind them.

“Well, there is something we want to do before we leave for the restaurant” Ken said falteringly and with military precision and not unlike the red sea, they parted to reveal a pile of birthday presents and an enormous cake.

“What’s all this?” she said, “I already had my present”.

She had wanted tickets to Covent Garden to see Madame Butterfly, which were like gold dust so wasn’t expecting anything else. 

“We wanted you to have something to open” Rob said.

So, she set about the task and as she ripped off the paper her eyes widened with delight, and she smiled broadly.

“You shouldn’t have, you’ve already spent too much” she said with a frown that lasted a nano second and then she was smiling again.

Ken and Linda were hugging as they watched their daughter’s joy, no doubt remembering long passed moments from her childhood.

Then Marcia hugged and kissed her parents and when she turned to Rob, he was expecting the same but instead she poked him, hard.

“As for you” she said sternly and poked him again “all that tosh you spouted about how lucky I was to get those tickets”.

Then he got another poke

“And all the time”

Poke

“You were planning this”.

Poke

“Pretty much” he confirmed, then he got his hug and kiss.

“I love you,” she said.

“Steady” he said you’ll make me blush.

“I love you too”.  

That kind of set the tone for the rest of the evening and they had a lovely time.

Midway through the evening while her mum was in the loo and Ken had gone in search of the wine waiter, she leant over and kissed him moistly on the lips.

“I really do love you, Rob” she said.

“And I really do love you too” he replied.

“I hope so” she said, that was what he thought she said anyway, she was a little drunk and slurred a bit, so he wasn’t sure.

Rob was going to ask her to say it again but just at that moment her parents returned to the table and the moment was gone and it was such a great evening that he didn’t think of it again, until the next day.

When he could think of little else, why would she be unsure of his sincerity? He had no answer, but he thought that he was going to lose her if he wasn’t careful and then he’d be sorry.

So, he pledged to himself that loving her was not enough, he had to demonstrate that love so she would never doubt him again.

Uncanny Love Tales – (058) Tamed by Rachel

 

15 miles inland from Sharpington-By-Sea, equidistant between the seaside resort and Pepperstock Green was the rambling village of Brookley where Eddie Priest lived.

Eddie had a not unwarranted reputation as a bit of a womanizer, and he was always entertaining some female or other at his house, and he was fairly indiscriminate in his choice of bed mate and cast his net far and wide, and that was his life, a constant conveyor belt of conquests, however that was before Rachel Wilkie entered his life.

Rachel was a junior Doctor and had just got a job at St Lucy's Hospital in Sharpington but while she was saving money to get her own place to live, she moved in with her older sister Carole, and Carole lived next door to Eddie.

She was a was a few years younger than he was and he cast his eye over her immediately, but she appeared immune to his advances, partly because Carole had blackened his name, but mainly because she was waiting for him to reveal himself.

She had met womanizers at university and there were some who lived for the conquest, some were addicted to sex, and others who were just pretty boys who couldn’t say no, Rachel wanted to know which one he was, because she liked the look of him and hoped he was a pretty boy who could learn to say no.

 

It was nine months after she moved to Brockley that she decided to take a chance on him, despite his reputation and Carole’s warnings, they went on a date, but under the radar, no one could know, especially not Carole.

They enjoyed the first date, then one date led to another and so on and so forth and it made it exciting to sneak around.

They had been dating in secret for over 3 months when they first slept together, which was in a Hotel in Sharpington, 

Three months after that and several more Hotel rooms they slept in his bed for the first time, and it was like breaking a taboo and cemented their relationship.

But they over did it and lost track of time and he didn’t get downstairs until after lunch and he waited for Rachel to tiptoe downstairs after him.

“You’ll have to go out the back” he whispered “Caroles in the front garden”.

“Oh crap” she said kissed him and snook out the back door only to return a minute later.

“Frank’s painting the fence” she said, “We’re going to get caught”.

“No, we’re not caught yet” he said and then explained what he was going to do.

 

He opened the door, stepped outside, and left it ajar.

“My God” Carole said, “You do know it’s the afternoon”. 

“Have some respect for the dead” he responded, “I had a late night”.

“And I can just imagine what you were doing” she said and then gesturing towards the car on his drive she added “I suppose this carriage belongs to the lucky princess?”

“No” He replied, “Cinders went home already”.

“So, whose is that?”

“It’s my brother’s, he went to Amsterdam for the weekend” he explained “he’s picking it up later”.

“Really?” she said doubtfully.

“In fact, can I ask a favour, I need to go out for an hour or so, if I leave the door on the latch can you let him in so he can get the keys?”

“Ok” she said, “I’m going to be a couple of hours finishing off out here”.

He went back to the house and winked at Rachel who was crouched down behind his brother’s car, then he closed the front door and with her safely out of sight he walked down the path to speak to her sister.

“Hey Carole” he called, and she turned to face him “I’m going out now”.

While he kept her attention Rachel crept out from behind the car and crossed Caroles lawn like a commando and safely into the house

“If he comes before I get back, can you lock the door for me?”

“Sure thing” she replied.

 

Although they got away with it by the skin of their teeth they decided not to dice with death for a while and went back to hotel liaisons, for a while.

Uncanny Love Tales – (057) I have a Confession to make

 

On the west side of Downshire is Eastchapel, a quiet medieval village living in the shadow of its noisy neighbour, the Industrial powerhouse of Northchapel and it is also the home of the Cripps family and had been for century’s.

The house, named Twelve Trees, had once been a row of labourer’s cottages, was now home to brothers Aaron and Grant, and their father Roland although he had been in hospital for some time.

However, as he had been told they could do no more for him than palliative care he told his sons he wanted to die in his own home.

The brothers were happy to accommodate him, but some adjustments needed to be made first, such as the front path which needed to be widened to accommodate a wheelchair, the front door was already wide enough as was the hallway.

So, he called Cath Hopkins who along with her sister ran their own Landscape Gardening business, and they were very successful.

They did a cracking job on the path and had it finished in time for Roland’s return to his home.

After his passing Aaron called Cath again for another quote.

When she called around Aaron said

“The path still looks great by the way, but we’ll have to re-landscape the front garden now”.

“We?” Cath said, “Me and Julie have to re-landscape”.

“There’s no “I” in team Cath” He replied, and they both laughed.

“So, what would you like me to do?” she asked.

“I don’t really know” he replied.

“Could you design something for me?”

“No problem, I’ll come up with something for you” she replied.

 

However, two months later he still hadn’t heard anything, and it wasn’t until Christmas when she said to him sheepishly.

“I have a confession to make,”.

“What’s that?” he asked. 

“I haven’t finished designing you garden yet” she said and covered her face with her hands.

“Is that all?” he asked.

“What? You’re not cross with me?” she said through her fingers.

“Of course, not” he replied.

“But I have no excuse” she admitted “no convoluted set of circumstances that would constitute a noble reason for not doing what I promised”.

“You fell in love,” he said simply.

“Yes, I did” She responded blushing.

“Well what better reason is there than that?” he continued.

“Not very professional though” Cath said hanging her head.

“Sometimes life just has a habit of getting in the way,” Aaron said philosophically.

“I’m so sorry” she said.

“Don’t be silly, it’s not important,” He said, “just do it when you can”.

But she didn’t look convinced.

“Look, you’re so lucky, you’ve found love, just be happy”.

“I am happy,” she said “and…”

“And what?” He asked.

“We’re getting engaged” Cath told him.

“That’s fantastic,” he said genuinely.

“We haven’t told anyone yet” she explained, “So don’t tell Julie”.

“Why not?”

“She’ll be upset” she replied.

“Why would she be upset?” he asked.

“Because I told you first” she said and giggled.

“You’d better tell her quick then” he said.

Uncanny Love Tales – (056) Be my Valentine

 

On the west side of Downshire is Eastchapel, a quiet medieval village living in the shadow of its noisy neighbour, the Industrial powerhouse of Northchapel and it also the home of Cath Hopkins who along with her sister Julie ran their own Landscape Gardening business, and they were very successful.

But there was one aspect of her life in which she was unfulfilled,

she had watched all those close to her find their special someone but at the age of thirty-four she was still alone.

However, she had found her special someone, though he had yet to reciprocate her feelings. 

So, as it was a leap year, and with recent events fresh in her mind and with Valentines Day rapidly approaching, she had decided it was now time to force him out of his torpor and sharpen his focus and get him to declare himself.

 

It was after Evensong when Cath watched Reverend Nigel Huffer as he left the Church and walked through the fog to the Vicarage, a few minutes later Cath was knocking on the Vicarage door.

When the door opened, he said.

“Oh, Hello Cath, this is a nice surprise”.

“Hi Nigel” she said with a smile.

“Can you spare me ten minutes?”

“Of course, come in, come in” he replied fussily “The kettle is on”.

 

After he had made them a drink they sat on the sofa in his sitting room when he asked.

“So how can I help?”

“Well to come straight to the point” she said.

“I want you to marry me”.

“Oh, oh, um, I see” he replied in surprise then added distantly.

“Congratulation’s”

“Thank you”

“Do you have a date in mind?” he asked reaching for his diary.

“I still need to discuss that with the groom” she said.

“And who is the groom?” he asked.

“Well, I was kind of hoping it would be you Nigel” she replied and put her hand on his.

“Oh!” he responded and squeezed her hand.

 

It was 4 am when the vicarage door silently opened and Cath slipped out into the fog having received her answer, several times.

Uncanny Love Tales – (055) Life was too Short

 

On the west side of Downshire is Eastchapel, a quiet medieval village living in the shadow of its noisy neighbour, the Industrial powerhouse of Northchapel and it is also the home of the Cripps family and had been for century’s.

The house, named Twelve Trees, had once been a row of labourer’s cottages, was now home to brothers Aaron and Grant, and their father Roland although he had been in hospital for some time.

However, as he had been told they could do no more for him than palliative care he told his sons he wanted to die in his own home.

The brothers were happy to accommodate him, but some adjustments needed to be made first, such the front path which needed to be widened to accommodate a wheelchair, the front door was already wide enough as was the hallway.

 

Grant Cripps was an independent Publisher and needed to be in  Frankfurt for the book fair and it was not something he could miss at short notice, so his brother Aaron had to arrange to have the front path widened to accommodate a wheelchair and clearing the dining room to accommodate a hospital bed with enough chairs for the visitors,  and the subsequent decorating that was required.

However, he was rewarded for his endeavours by finally getting together with Julie Hopkins, which Grant doubted would ever happen.

 

When he returned home from the book fair, he found the house eerily quiet, and he didn’t much like it at all, he had been denied his own company for so long while he was away that he craved some time alone, but now he had what he craved he didn’t like it.

Aaron had taken Julie away for a couple of days as a birthday present and the events that occurred while he was in Germany gave him pause, his father’s terminal illness and Aaron starting a relationship with Julie, made him realise that life was too short.

So, when he awoke next morning Grant was restored to his pre-Frankfurt best, full of vim and vigour and ready to take on the world.

 

After breakfast he took a call from Reverend Huffer, reminding him that there was a Parish Council Meeting that evening at the Church Hall, and who the expected attendees were, so when he hung up, he smiled to himself.

A couple of hours later his brother Aaron returned home and they had some catching up to do, which they did over a late lunch and as Aaron was also on the committee, they walked into the village together for the appointed time.

As they approached the Church Hall, he saw Cath Hopkins and her sister Julie, crossing the road, followed by the Vicar, Nigel Huffer, and his verger Katarzyna Karabin.

Once inside they found the remaining members of the committee were already there and seated at the table. 

Pleasantries were exchanged after which the business of the day could commence.

 

After the meeting they were all going over to the pub, but Katarzyna was always the last to leave because she always put the room back in order before locking up, so Grant hung back until the others had gone.

“Do you need some help?” he asked.

“Oh, um, yes please” she replied, “that would be nice?”

So, he stacked the chairs while she cleared the cups out to the kitchen, then when he was finished, he joined her in the kitchen to wipe up as she washed the cups.

“So how was the book fair?” she asked.

“It was good”.

“It must have been heaven for someone who loves books the way you do” she said.

“I do love books” he agreed “But not as much as I love you”.

“What?” she exclaimed and dropped a cup in the sink.

“I said “not as much as I love you”” he replied and turned her around to face him.

“Everything else pales into insignificance compared to you” he said placing a hand on her cheek and inclined her head upwards so he could kiss her trembling lips.