Downshire Diary – (07) Living with Dorcas

(Part 01)

In the weeks following the great family gathering in Dulcet-on-Willow, to mark Uncle Herbert’s 60th Birthday, Bens mother Eleanor was still in shock.
The news of his proposal and subsequent engagement to Dorcas had taken her completely by surprise.
She had apparently come to terms with the fact he would end his days as a bachelor and even though it had been confirmed and verified to be a “genuine engagement” by all and sundry, she was still skeptical.
Mind you Ben had to admit there were moments when he didn’t believe it himself.
But the truth of the matter was that they were engaged and everyone seemed to be as pleased about it as Ben and Dorcas were.

Though his mother was a confirmed skeptic on the subject, plans had already begun in earnest with both sets of parents jockeying for position, over who would do what and when, even though a date hadn’t even been set yet.
Dorcas and Ben left them to get on with it for the most part as they had plans of their own to finalize, they would just have to rein in the maniacal planners at a later date when they were clear what they wanted to do themselves.
They never imagines for a moment at the time that they might live to regret their attitude of laissez-faire in that regard.
But they adopted that posture for a very good reason because there were more immediate things to occupy their attention, because although they hadn’t yet set a date for the wedding they had set another very significant date on the calendar which was fast coming up on the horizon, Dorcas was moving in with him.

By the time October came around she was already staying over at his cottage for at least three days a week so it seemed silly not to go the whole hog and have her live with him full time.
After all at the times they weren’t together they were either travelling to see the other or talking on the phone or just plain missing them.
His cottage in Bushy Down was bigger than hers so it made more sense for her to move in with him rather than the other way around.
The plan was to spend October packing up her place in Finchbottom so it was ready for renting out from the 1st of November when she would move in with Ben, with as many of her possessions as would fit.
When he asked her why she was renting her house out and not selling it, she said
“I want to keep it, just in case”
“In case of what?” Ben asked
“In case you turn out to be a complete swine” she replied and ran out of the room.
“Bloody cheek” he said and chased her up the stairs

(Part 02)

Dorcas had been spending a lot of time at Bens Cottage in Bushy Down and for the most part things went without a hitch but it wasn’t all plain sailing, there was one bone of contention.
That is apart from the age old chestnut, the toilet seat, what is it with women and their obsession with toilet seats.
Anyway that wasn’t the main issue, his particular bone of contention was underwear.
Namely articles of underwear, that were particularly delightful when the love of his life was inside them that were very annoying when she was not.
They lost their allure somewhat when they were left hanging from the shower rail or draped over radiators.
When she wasn’t looking Ben would gather them up, in ones and twos, and put the wet ones in the airing cupboard or the dry ones in a drawer in the bedroom.
Dorcas didn’t seem to notice or if she did she didn’t say anything.
That is until the beginning of October when she enquired
“Have you seen my green knickers?”
“No hon, not since you were in them” he replied
“Are you sure?” she quizzed
“I’m sure”
“Well I know what you’re like with your tidying” she said and it was obvious that she had noticed.
“Definitely not honey” he answered
“I don’t understand it I’ve found the bra upstairs so I know they’re here somewhere but I can’t find the pants anywhere”
“They’ll turn up” he suggested
“That’s not very helpful” she replied
“There are some blue ones in the airing cupboard” he said helpfully
“I can’t wear blue knickers with a green bra” she said crossly
“Honestly, what kind of a girl do you think I am?”
Over the next few weeks her green panties didn’t turn up and it transpired they weren’t the only items to disappear.
She went on to lose an assortment of knickers, three odd socks and a pair of tights, even Bens lucky pants did a disappearing act.
He had never experienced any loss of laundry all the time he had lived there so he was at a loss to explain the disappearance’s and could offer nothing but his stock answer of
“They’ll turn up”
Dorcas was unconvinced, as was he to be honest, and he was sure she was beginning to think he was some kind of fetishist who had a secret stash of her knickers.
However any such suspicion’s she might have harbored would have been readily dispelled by a visit from his next door neighbour.

It was midday on Sunday, and they had just returned home from church, when there was a knock on the front door.
When Ben opened it he was faced with a very shamefaced and embarrassed looking character holding a carrier bag out in front of him.
It was his long time neighbour John Elliot, a normally gregarious chap who on this occasion was stooped over like he had the whole world on his shoulders and was staring at his shoes.
“I think these might be yours” he said quietly thrusting the carrier bag in his direction.
“What is it?” he asked and took the bag
“Open it” He said shuffling his feet nervously and Ben did as he instructed and opened the bag and found inside sundry items of underwear.
“You’d better come in” Ben said

(Part 03)

Ben had known John and his wife Carole for several years and they had always gotten on very well.
When he first knew them they had two cats, Madeline and Emily, who were sisters, and they had them for several years but after Emily was killed on the road in the village Madeline ran away.
They were both huge cat lovers so they decided they would get a rescued cat from an animal rescue center.
Well what they got was a tabby called appropriately Tabitha who was a very sweet looking cat that unfortunately suffered with severe psychological problems.
It was a very nervous and timid creature who was very suspicious of everyone but what none of neighbour’s suspected was its darker side.
While the humans of the village were all at work Tabitha roamed the local area indulging in her particular passion namely stealing from the neighbours.
She stole knickers, pants, socks, tights, handkerchiefs and the occasional bra as well as bibs and booties.
The troubled animal preyed on the unsuspecting locals stealing from washing lines, wash baskets and clothes airer’s though thankfully even with her psychological problems she only stole clean items, nothing soiled or un-fresh.
The locals were all oblivious to this dastardly crime putting the loss of missing items down to mischievous house elves.
The dastardly crime only came to light when John was clearing his spare room prior to decorating when he discovered a nest of other people’s underwear.
This could have been more awkward than it already was and John might well have had some explaining to do it Carole had found the pantie collection before he did.
When John told her of the stash he had found Carole thought it was very funny, she did however after sorting the not inconsiderable collection into bags for the prospective owners, dispatch him to return the items.
“I have never been so embarrassed” John said
“How many houses have you had to go to?” Dorcas asked
“You’re number 10” he said
“You poor thing” Dorcas said sympathetically the she looked at Ben and they both burst out laughing.
When they had regained control of themselves he continued
“Luckily Tabitha’s is scared of her own shadow so she never strays more than a few houses either side of us, so it narrowed down the field”

After he had gone Ben looked at the contents of the bag and said
“You see I said they would turn up didn’t I”
“Pah” Dorcas said unimpressed
“Still you’ve got to hand it to Carole she was spot on with her sorting”
He added
“And look even my lucky pants are here”
“Oh, it’s a shame they came back” Dorcas said “I threw them out once”
“You threw them out?” he asked horrified
“Yes I did” she replied
“But they’re my favourite’s” Ben said indignantly
Dorcas chuckled and from the doorway she said
“Well you can either stay down here with your lucky pants or you can come upstairs and get lucky in mine” and she went out the room.
About thirty seconds later Ben got up and followed her, pausing briefly by the kitchen bin to dispose of his former lucky pants.

(Part 04)

Since Ben Overton first met Dorcas Fox-Martin, at his parents’ house in Kiddingstone on the day when she almost ran him over on his way to his nephews christening, his life had been so different to the safe and comfortable existence he had known before.

He felt energized and fresh, which was just as well in all honesty because October had been an exceedingly busy month.
They spent evenings packing up Dorcas’s house in Finchbottom and slowly moving her stuff either into storage or into Ben’s cottage, or more precisely I suppose that should be their cottage.
On the weekends that was followed by decorating and gardening to get her house ready for renting out and then of course there was car booting to dispose of the things that didn’t make the move either to the cottage or storage.
And all of the above had to be achieved while keeping busy in their respective day jobs as they were saving their holidays for something else.
So it was with some relief that that he received and accepted an invitation from his best friend Gary to attend a games night at his place on in Kiddingstone on Saturday night.
Ben and Gary had been best mates since junior school, Gary, Stix, Evan, Clive and him, and their friendship had endured.
It survived all the ups and downs of childhood and adolescence.
It survived sexual awakenings and the continual distraction of women thereafter.
It also survived higher education, marriages, mortgages, divorces and redundancies.
Women had come and gone over the years but the friendship had survived.
They had been in each other’s lives for every single significant event that had affected their lives, good and bad, and their friendship endured in spite of everything and throughout their enduring friendship was a consistent thread, a vital constituent to their lives that was the Games Nights.
Games Nights were a ritual and consisted of a takeaway followed by board games or cards, the food and game decided by consensus.
The venues varied as each of the friends took their turn to host the event but the rest of the night was just games, food and alcohol.

Ben was very excited to receive the invite, they hadn’t done one since he’d been going out with Dorcas and because they had had such a whirlwind romance and they had been so busy he hadn’t had a chance to show off and none of his closest friends had met her yet.
He instantly showed the invite to Dorcas
“Look we have been invited to Gary’s for a games night” he said
“You are going to love it”
She took the invitation from him and read it and seemed less than enthusiastic at the prospect of attending.
“You know what that means?” Dorcas remarked
“Yes a weekend off” he replied “And a lie in”
“I have to meet your best friends” she said gloomily
“I know” he replied “They’re all dying to meet you”
And then Ben added
“And the other halves are very anxious to meet the girl who has won my heart”
“Oh Great” Dorcas said despondently “That’s just the icing on the cake”

(Part 05)

In the week following the receipt of the invitation Ben had completely failed to pick up on her lack of enthusiasm about the invite to Gary’s but he had noticed that as they got closer to the night Dorcas seemed to be getting more and more withdrawn but being a man he didn’t think it was anything to worry about, not at first anyway.
On Saturday morning as they lay cuddling under the duvet before they got themselves up, Dorcas was very quiet which wasn’t like her at all and he was a bit worried about her as she seemed a bit down and he wondered if she was having second thoughts about moving in with him, it was less than two weeks away from the tenants moving into her house.
He began to wonder if she thought it was all just too soon, and she wanted to take a step back and reevaluate her decision.
And if that were true then maybe she was having second thoughts about everything, the engagement, the wedding the whole nine yards.
Perhaps his mum was right when she said he wouldn’t be able to hold onto her, because she was too pretty for him.
Maybe that was it she was tired of him.
“What’s wrong sweetheart?” he asked hoping to allay his fears
“Nothing” she replied
“Well I know that’s not true” he persisted “Somethings wrong, so what is it?”
“I’m scared” Dorcas admitted
He wasn’t sure if he’d heard her correctly, she was such a confident, gregarious girl that being scared didn’t fit her at all.
She was after all a tour de force, she was bold and brave and brimming with self-confidence, how could she be scared.
“Scared?” he asked “What are you scared of, is it marriage? The Engagement or is it moving in with me?”
“No, no its none of those things I’m not scared about them at all” she replied
“But you are scared?” he asked
“Yes” she responded and rolled over and hugged him, burying her face in his neck and then she started crying.
“So what are you scared about?” he asked her gently
“Meeting your friends” she sobbed “Your best friends”
During the week after the invitation Dorcas had been really worried about making a good impression in front of his oldest and best friends and their other halves.
“They are going to love you just like I do” he assured her
“Really?” Dorcas asked
“Well not quite like I do obviously” he said and she lifted her face from his neck and smiled weakly.
He did feel for Dorcas when he took the time to think of what he was putting her through, it was a daunting prospect meeting his friends, and she was scared she wouldn’t measure up.
He didn’t have to go through that with her best friend as that was his sister Helen.
So they spent the next hour cuddling up under the duvet as he went through his friends and their respective partners one by one and detailed the best ways to make a good impression on each of them.

(Part 06)

His mate Gary was something of a figure of fun within their group, a fact to which he seemed completely oblivious.
They had known him since infant school and they had always teased him.
He was the type of kid who had a new hobby every week and this habit followed him all the way into adulthood.
He also thought himself a whizz at DIY and he fancied himself as a bit of an engineer.
But the one thing he could do better than any of them without fail, which endeared him to them all, was that he could take a joke.
His wife Elaine did not have a sense of humour, at all and she was the vainest woman walking God’s green earth and the only thing that she loved as much as her own good looks was for someone else to compliment her on them.
“Stix” so named because his surname was Littlewood fancied himself as a bit of a ladies man and liked to flirt, Kylie his second wife knew he was all sausage and no sizzle so quite enjoyed watching him flirt before he crashed and burned.
Evan Thomas and his childhood sweetheart Cerys were foodies so if you got them chatting on the subject of food you were in.
Clive White and his third or fourth partner Tina were ultra-competitive so if they won whatever the game might be they were happy.

After he had finished putting flesh on the bones of those expected to be present she seemed more at ease.
“I love you Ben” she said
“That’s handy” he replied “because I love you too”
Dorcas smiled and kissed him tenderly and then they made love.

Ben thought that as Dorcas was nervous about meeting everyone, rather than arriving to a houseful and be totally overwhelming to her he would take her over to Gary’s early so he could introduce her to the hosts before anyone else arrived and that way she just had to meet one couple at a time.

So when they got there the pair of them stood on the porch and he gave her a kiss for good luck before he rang the doorbell.
Gary opened the door.
“Blimey” he said
“You’ll never believe it Elaine” he called over his shoulder “it’s Ben and…”
“Dorcas” Ben said
“… Dorcas” Gary continued
“Are we too early” he asked
“No not at all” he replied “Lovely to meet you Dorcas, come in, come in”
“Thanks Gary, likewise” she said and squeezed Bens hand.
As they walked into the lounge he said to Dorcas
“You’re obviously a good influence on him, Ben’s never the first to arrive”
After that he introduced her to his sour faced wife Elaine.
“Dorcas?” she said “that’s a strange name”
“It’s biblical” Ben answered “nice isn’t it?”
“Hmmm” was her only response
He gave her hand another gentle squeeze and Dorcas said
“I love your dress, I wish I could afford designer label clothes”
Elaine’s expression softened immediately and a hint of a smile could be detected when she continued
“And your hair’s a fabulous shade of red”
“Two down, six to go” He thought to himself as Elaine actually smiled.

(Part 07)

Stix and Kylie were the first to arrive after Ben and Dorcas and her being drop dead gorgeous and Stix being a premier league letch he took to her straight away.
There was a moment’s frostiness from Kylie but as soon as Dorcas gave her a wink and she realized Stix was being played she quickly warmed to her.

By the time Evan and Cerys arrived the gregarious confident Dorcas had returned and was there to greet them and within five minutes they were deep in conversation about a new Mongolian restaurant in Kiddingstone, so much so that she almost missed him introducing her to Clive and Tina.
Dorcas continued discussing cuisine with Evan and Cerys while they devoured a rather mediocre Indian.

The games element of the evening began with cards and due to some creative cheating by Dorcas, a skill he hadn’t previously experienced from her, Clive and Tina were the resounding victors.
“Deftly played by my wife to be” Ben thought to himself.

They went on to play Trial Pursuit next which was when Gary chose to reveal his latest fad.
As he had told Dorcas earlier he fancied himself as a bit of an engineer and with the help of the Internet and RS Component’s he managed to fashion his latest pride and joy.
“It’s an electronic Di” Gary said proudly
It was brown in colour, made of plastic, about three inches long and two inches wide and the same in depth.
With two buttons and an Led display on the upper side.
“Wow” everyone said with varying degrees of sarcasm except for Dorcas who said.
“That’s really interesting, how does it work”
“Well” said Gary thrilled that someone appreciated his efforts
“You press this first button and the numbers start randomizing”
“Oh yes, I see” said Dorcas
“Then you press the second button and it displays your throw” he continued
“Wow that’s so clever” she said still enthusing
“And you made that?”
“Yes” he replied proudly “I did”
“Can I have a go?” she asked
“Absolutely” Gary said and handed it to her
“So I press this button first” Dorcas said
“Yes” Gary replied
“Then this one?” She said
“Yes” he said again
“And that’s my throw” she said just before she shook it in her hands and rolled it across the table.
Gary’s jaw dropped and the room erupted with laughter and Dorcas said to Gary.
“Got you” and he roared with laughter
In truth at that moment she had them all in the palm of her hand.
Dorcas held his hand under the table and squeezed it firmly and as she turned and gave him a smile he fell in love with her all over again and she with him.

After the games night at Gary’s they spent most of the day slobbing around the cottage in their night clothes and watching old films on TV.
After all the recent exertion’s associated with renting out Dorcas’s house prior to her moving in with him, so it was really nice to have such a lazy day.
However they paid for it over the coming week as the deadline for Dorcas vacating her house loomed large and they spent every spare moment moving her and her possessions from Finchbottom to Bushy Down.
And so began a new chapter in their lives when they would no longer be two lonely single dwellers living half-lives but one loving couple sharing a life, a house and home.

(Part 08)

The Monday after their first weekend of officially living together was a normal workday for Ben but Dorcas had managed to book off a couple of days off work so she could unpack the last of her things and make herself at home.
A lot of her making herself at home seemed to involve rearranging the cupboards and taking over the majority of the wardrobes.
But despite that she certainly seemed to have spent her time productively and the house was looking more homely than it had ever done and as he walked through the front door on his arrival home on Tuesday evening he was greeted by the smell of home cooking.
“Hi Hon” he called “Something smells nice”
Her head suddenly appeared from around the kitchen door and said
“It’s me”
Ben walked down the hall to meet her and gave her a kiss
“No its not you” he said “I can definitely smell something tasty”
“Cheek” Dorcas said and hit him with a wooden spoon
“Ow” he said “what’s cooking then?”
“Bacon and onion dumpling” she replied then continued in a very bad Italian accent “Justa lika mamma used to maka”
“And is yours as good as mamas?” he asked thinking that if it tasted half as good as it smelt he was in for a treat.
“Better” she replied “now go and finish setting the table”
He did as instructed and then opened a bottle of wine, and returned to the kitchen just in time to see the suet delight coming out of the oven and it would not have been an exaggeration to say that the oven sighed.

As Ben sat and ate the heaviest most indigestible dumpling he had ever experienced along with lumpy mash, anemic gravy and over cooked veg he thought to himself
“How bad a cook is her mother?”
He persevered and ate most of it and when she said
“Well?”
He didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth so he said
“Lovely”
It’s was a good job he wasn’t marrying her for her cooking ability.

Fortunately Ben could cook and he generally got home an hour before her so he would get the evening meal on the go so as to minimize the risk of having to eat her offerings.

It was about a fortnight after the night of the dumpling disaster when they were summoned to the Fox-Martins for Sunday lunch which Ben was very much looking forward to.
Her father Edward was very easy company especially if you restricted the conversation to sport while his wife Marcia thought the sun shone from Bens every orifice.
But the main thing he was looking forward to was a Roast dinner he loved a Sunday Roast and he wished he could have one every week.
However as the old saying go? Be careful what you wish for because it might come true.

(Part 09)

Ben and Dorcas were in the car on our way to Finchbottom
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” she asked
“Of course” he said “I like your folks and I’m looking forward to a great Sunday lunch”
“Oh” Dorcas said doubtfully “Good”
They arrived just after two and they found Edward in the lounge watching football.
“Hi Dad” she said
“Hello baby girl” he replied and gave her a kiss, then he shook Bens hand.
“Ben dear boy” he said “sit down, they’ve just kicked off”
Ben was looking forward to watching the match, it was the local derby, Abbottsford Town were playing Abbeyvale Borough and Ben and Edward both followed Abbottsford.
But not only was it a derby match but it was important match because it was a top of the table clash, although to be honest it was always an important match when Town played Borough.
“I’ll just say hello to Marcia first” he said and Dorcas led the way.
The aromas emanating from the kitchen were mouthwatering.
“Mum?” Dorcas called
“I’m in here darling” a disembodied voice called back.
He followed Dorcas into the kitchen and kisses and hugs were exchanged between them and then Marcia turned her attention on Ben.
“It’s lovely to see you Ben” Marcia said “I’m glad you could come”
“It smells delicious” he said “I can’t wait”
“Oh” she said all flustered “that’s a really nice thing to say”
Then Dorcas kissed him and dispatched him to keep her father company, where Edward had a freshly poured beer sitting on the table waiting for him.
“Ah there you are” he said without taking his eyes off the screen.
“It’s one nil to Borough, completely against the run of play”

Marcia called them to the table about an hour later and they sat down at the table.
Edward poured the wine and Dorcas and Marcia carried the tureens in, then when they were all seated she lifted the cover off the meat platter to reveal the charred remains of what would once have been a very expensive joint of beef.
The vegetables and the gravy were a similar disappointment, the insipidness of the gravy was clearly a family tradition.
As Edward unceremoniously hacked his way through the charcoal he slowly revealed the undercooked redness at its core.
And as Ben struggled politely through the hideous meal he was left to ponder how two such beautiful women could be such ugly cooks.

So it was with a full stomach and a bad case of indigestion that they drove away from her parents’ house.
“Did you enjoy your Sunday roast then sweetie?” Dorcas asked
“Oh yes” he replied “it was ….”
“Horrible?” Dorcas interrupted
“No, no” he protested
“Yes, yes” she corrected me “Mums even more rubbish at cooking than I am”
“You’re not rubbish hon” he said
“I am, you could have beaten someone to death with that dumpling it was so heavy” Dorcas said and laughed
“Well maybe not to death, but certainly into a coma” he said and she punched his arm

(Part 10)

In just a few short months Bens cozy little life had been completely turned upside down.
From the moment Dorcas breezed into his life on a bright June day when she almost sent him into the afterlife from behind the wheel of her car.
It was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to him, and that changed everything in a heartbeat.
Once he plucked up the courage to ask her out the next step was to fall in love with her which took absolutely no effort at all.
After that he needed to summon up the courage to propose, which he did, in the guest bathroom in his Uncles house in the Dulcets, and almost put his mother into a coma in the process.
So far so good, meet pretty young brunette, woo pretty young brunette, fall in love with pretty young brunette, propose to pretty young brunette and finally move in with pretty young brunette.
Well not finally obviously but that’s the story so far, there are many more chapters to follow obviously.

The next one began after two weeks of them living together.
All was going well and they had settled into a comfortable routine and it felt as if we had been together forever.
They were sitting in the kitchen eating crumpets on a Sunday morning when Dorcas suddenly said
“Can we get a cat?”
“What for?” he retorted
“Because I’d like one” she said sweetly
“Do we have to?” he sighed
“Don’t you like cats?” Dorcas enquired
“I have no strong opinion either way” he informed her
“So you don’t dislike them?” she asked
“No not at all” he replied
“Are you allergic?” she queried
“Nope” Ben said
“So can we?” she asked cutely
“I take it that you have a strong opinion about cats?” he asked
“Oh yes” she replied “I love them”
When he didn’t respond immediately she continued
“They’re very lovely, they’re good company, they’re clean, they’re not demanding”
And when he again said nothing she added, as if a single reason underlined all the others
“And they keep mice away”
“I don’t have mice” He stated
He had never had mice in the house in all the years he had lived there and was not at all unhappy with that fact and he didn’t need a cat to achieve that.
Furthermore all through his childhood at his parents’ house they didn’t have a cat and they were mouse free so the point seemed moot.
“Please, please, pretty please” she begged to which he was helpless to resist
“Ok, ok” he conceded
“Yey” she screamed and jumped up and down before planting a kiss on his mouth.
“But” he interjected
“But?” she repeated
“There are certain conditions” he stated
“Which are?” she asked
“No Toms” he said “I don’t want spraying in the house”
“Check” she responded
“I’m the only alpha male in this house” he added pompously
“Ok tiger” she mocked
“No rescue cats, I don’t want to take any chances on getting a mental one like John and Carole did” he continued
“Check” she responded
“And no kittens” he added
“Ok” she agreed “Anything else?”
“No that’s the lot” he confirmed
“Good get your coat on” she instructed
“What for?” Ben asked
“I said we’d pick the cat up before 11 o’clock” Dorcas said cheekily
“And how did you know I’d say yes?” he asked
“Because you’re lovely” she replied “and you love me”
“Yes well just remember that the cutesy stuff won’t work once you lose your looks” he told her as they were going out the door
“It’ll still work even when I’m old and wrinkled” she said cockily

(Part 11)

Dorcas and Ben were going to Mrs. Brownlow’s house, just a few doors down from their cottage.
She was a lovely lady, who sadly was having to give up her cottage and move into a sheltered housing scheme on the other side of the village, where pets of any kind were not permitted.
Doris had a sweet little two year old tabby female called Pandora for whom she was looking for a good home and apparently they were it.

All went swimmingly with Pandora’s arrival, she quickly took to them and made herself at home and although he had misgivings about getting a cat he was happy that he had agreed, but then the presents started to arrive.
Ben would wake up in the morning and make his way downstairs to make coffee and there it would be, a mouse, a vole, a bird and on one occasion a coy carp.
All either dead or very near death and all of them gifts, for him apparently, the alpha male, from the huntress.
Sometimes Pandora would be in attendance smugly guarding her latest trophy.
On one particular morning in late November he came downstairs to find a squirrel.
“My God Pandora what on earth have you brought me this time?”
As soon as his foot landed on the hall floor she started rubbing herself around his ankles making a series of chirruping noises as she did so, then she would go and circle the stricken Squirrel, look up at him and then at her prey and then back at him as if to say
“Look what I did”
“Yes very good, well done” he said without enthusiasm although he had to admit he was impressed, then she returned to his ankles and repeated the whole process again.
Pandora had just got to the point where she was saying to him
“I did that that was me”
When Dorcas came halfway down the stairs and hung over the bannister to enquire
“What’s going on?”
“Pandora brought in a Squirrel” he told her
“A Squirrel?” she exclaimed “wow who’s a clever girl then?”
The cat responded to that by repeating the whole rubbing, chirruping and gloating sequence.
“Who’s a clever girl?” he said to himself as he slipped my unstockinged feet into a pair of wellies.
That was all well and good but she wasn’t the one who had to take the poor suffering twitching creature up the garden to finally dispatch it with a spade.

Of course finding dead offerings in the hall was far better than the alternative because Pandora didn’t catch mice and such to display them as trophies or to supplement her diet.
She brought them into the house primarily as toys and she would play with them for hours, but sometimes they got away
Which is why he recalled what Dorcas had said about cats
“They’re very lovely, they’re good company, they’re clean, they’re not demanding” she continued
“And they keep mice away”
Well Ben had never had any mice to keep away, until the time, after he had acquired a cat.
He wouldn’t have had the mice if he hadn’t got the cat and he wouldn’t have got the cat if he didn’t have Dorcas.
But that was the key because he did have Dorcas and he was very happy about that, and if he had a few mice as a result then it was a small price to pay because he did have Dorcas Fox-Martin in his life, and he planned to keep the most beautiful girl in the world with him forever.