(Part 01)
Since leaving the Army in January, Brian Lawton had been coasting along without any real purpose or goal that was until mid-October when he made one of his infrequent phone calls to touch base with his sister Jenna who was the de facto Vicar of St Martins in Highfinch while the Reverend Mortimer was recovering from a heart attack.
The village of Highfinch sat just on the edge of the Pepperstock Hills and Lily Green Hollows Golf Club separated the village from the Hamlet of Lily Green, which made up her parish.
“So how are you sis?” he asked jovially and she burst into tears.
Unable to get any sense out of her over the phone he said
“Ok I’m on my way”
Fortunately he wasn’t a million miles away as he and another ex-soldier were doing some security work in Sharpington and it was his day off.
Brian was 33 years old and had been medically discharged from the Downshire Light Infantry due to injuries sustained in Afghanistan when he lost most of his left foot.
It was a severe blow to him as Soldiering was the only thing he had ever wanted to do and he suspected he wasn’t equipped for much else.
But one thing he definitely could do was be there for his big sister.
He pulled up outside the Vicarage and immediately decamped and ran as best he could up the path and when she opened the door she wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder.
When he had consoled her she told him that she had fallen head of heels in love with a recent incumbent to the village, Nick Faulkner.
“What? “The” Nick Faulkner, the sports presenter?” he said
“Yes” she replied with her head in her hands
“And?”
“And what?” she asked
“And does he feel the same?” Brian asked
“I don’t know”
“Well, have you told him how you feel?”
“Of course not” she said with alarm
“So what have you done about it?” he asked
“We had lunch together, twice, although one of those was in a group” she explained “and he invited me out to dinner”
“He did?”
“Yes” she replied
“So what’s the problem?” Brian asked her
“He’s doing the Rugby World Cup coverage and won’t be back until next month”
“Ok now I understand”
The World Cup ran from the 18th of September until the 31st of October so he could easily understand why she would be missing him.
“Well it’s only two weeks away now” he said
“Yes but that’s not the problem” she said and began crying again.
When he had calmed her down she went on to explain that she had been summoned to Abbottsford to see the Bishop the following day.
“Did he say what it was about?” he asked
“No, but it will be about Reverend Mortimer” Jenna said
“He’s going to replace him and transfer me to another parish”
“You don’t know that” Brian said reassuringly
“What else could it be?” she asked
“You’re just thinking of the worst case scenario” he pointed out
“That doesn’t mean it won’t happen” she retorted
“Nick is going to return to Highfinch and I will have been transferred to Carlisle or Skegness” she said bitterly
“You really have it bad don’t you?” he said and hugged his sister
“What am I going to do?” she sobbed
“Would you like me to go with you tomorrow?” he asked
“Could you?”
“Yes and I can stay for a few days?” he said
“That would be lovely” she said and kissed him
“I can help you pack” he said and for the first time since he arrived she laughed
(Part 02)
Brian and Jenna left the Vicarage just after 9 o’clock and walked to his car.
Although there was a four year gap in their ages and they were different genders anyone who saw Brian and Jenna together couldn’t fail to spot that they were siblings.
He was as handsome as she was attractive, they had the same open manner, the same brunette hair differing only in length, and they also shared intelligent green laughing eyes, broad toothy smiles, and pleasant demeanours.
Jenna was clearly very nervous and spoke hardly a word all the way to Abbottsford and when she did it was only in single syllables.
So Brian did most of the talking, however she didn’t really take in what he was saying.
He pulled into the carpark of the Bishop of Downshire’s Palace and Jenna got out.
“Good luck” Brian said as he hugged her then he watched her walk towards the heavy oaken doors with her head down and shoulders slumped.
Brian then got back in the car and waited until she reappeared two hours later.
From the moment she emerged from the large oak doors he could tell just from her gait alone that all was well.
“Well?” he asked as she got in the car
“I need you to help me pack” she said
“What? How can that be?” he asked in disbelief
“You can help me pack up Reverend Mortimer’s stuff” she said “I’m the new Vicar”
“That’s fantastic” he said and hugged her “I knew it was good news”
“And I’m getting a new curate”
Over the following weeks Brian helped Jenna pack all of Reverend Mortimer’s possessions into boxes and then decorate his old bedroom so that Jenna could move into it and then he did the same to her old room in readiness for the new curate who was arriving at the beginning of November.
Jenna enjoyed the busyness that had ensued after meeting with the Bishop as it kept her mind occupied and gave her less time to brood over Nick.
In between his labour’s at the Vicarage he was driving over to Sharpington for work but he knew he couldn’t keep that up for long and that he would soon have to leave his big sis to fend for herself.
However when the new Curates room was finished and the furniture was all in place Jenna said something that surprised him.
“Why don’t you decorate the attic room next” she said
“What for?” He asked
“So you can live in it” she replied
“What live here?” he asked
“Yes” she said “I’m a very reasonable landlady and the rents cheap”
“It’s a bit of a commute for work though”
“Get a job closer to home” she suggested “the Golf club are always looking for new staff”
“What even crippled ex-soldiers?” he said bitterly
“No one else sees you like that, only you, think about it” she said “I’d love to stay”
“Well I do like it here” he admitted
She had no doubts that they would welcome him with open arms at the Lily Green Hollows Golf Club because the manager David Pike was on the parish council and she had already broached the subject with him.
Jenna got her answer after evensong the next day when she found Brian up in the attic room stripping wallpaper.
(Part 03)
On the 2nd of November Jenna woke up with butterflies in her stomach because she knew that Nick was due back in Highfinch.
In fact her butterflies were so bad she had to forgo breakfast.
In addition to that anxiety she was also nervous because Brian had an interview at Lily Green Hollows.
“Good luck” she said and kissed Brian on the cheek and watched him drive off.
When she got back inside the phone was ringing and she knew from the caller ID that it was Julia Thomas who sat on the parish council with her and more significantly was Nick Faulkner’s next door neighbour.
“Jenna darling” Julia said “Nicks back”
“What?” she asked “Are you sure?”
“Yes I can see him now standing on his drive”
“Thanks Julia” she said and hung up then after a quick look in the mirror she ran out of the Vicarage.
She was in such a hurry to get to see him that she rushed headlong round a corner and met Nick coming the other way and they both ended up on their backsides on the cold pavement.
“I’m so sorry” He said getting quickly to his feet and proffering a hand to the prostrated Jenna which she took.
“Nonsense” she replied, “I wasn’t looking where I was going, my mind was elsewhere”.
“Mine too” he said “are you ok? Are you hurt?”
“No only my pride” she replied
They dusted themselves off and there was a brief moment of awkwardness as they finally looked at each other properly.
“Anyway” she said “Duties to perform”
“Yes” he agreed “things to do”
And then much to her surprise and delight he kissed her which she graciously welcomed
“How clever of you to know where my mind was” she said and returned the compliment.
Suddenly conscious of making a spectacle of themselves in the street they walked back to the Vicarage where she made them coffee and they talked about the events that had occurred in his absence.
Before they knew it they had talked the morning away and they still hadn’t settled on a restaurant to go to for dinner.
“I know” she said “I have a brilliant idea”
“Tell me more”
“There’s a big bonfire night display at Sharpinghead” she said
“The fireworks are spectacular”
“And you would rather do that than have a meal?” he asked
“No, as well as” Jenna said
“As well as?”
“Oh yes I thought I would let you buy me a hotdog at the fireworks and then we have all week to decide where you’re going to take me for dinner at the weekend” she explained
“I can see you have it all planned” he said
“Well I do now”
“That’s a date then” he said
“Two dates actually” she corrected him “And there are still three day where we have nothing planned”
“Well we can’t have that then can we?” he said “let’s go for lunch”
“I like your thinking” she said and kissed him
“I like yours better” he said and kissed her back
(Part 04)
Brian was interviewed by David Pike for an assistant green keeper’s position and even though he had no experience such was the regard David had for the new Vicar, Brian was offered the job.
Jenna and Nick’s first proper date to the bonfire night party at Sharpinghead was a great success although they didn’t spend much time watching the pyrotechnics.
They had eyes only for each other and had it not been for the hot dogs they could have been almost anywhere for all the notice they took of where they were.
They did at least settle on the location for their Saturday night dinner date, the Runcible Spoon in Purplemere.
On the same night as Nick and Jenna’s first date Brian was on the way home from Sharpington after his final security shift and he was driving along a lonely stretch of road in the Pepperstock Hills when he came upon a car on the side of the road with the hazard lights flashing.
It was the worst possible spot for anyone to break down and it was probably the most remote place on the entire road as there was no civilization for at least 2 miles in any direction.
He drove slowly past the stricken vehicle and could see a figure inside that appeared to be female so he pulled up in front of it.
Then he got out and walked back and as he did so he heard the tell-tale sound of the central locking which made perfect sense, after all a woman alone at night miles from anywhere was very vulnerable.
He walked up to the driver’s side where the occupant had wound the window down about an inch so asked loudly
“Is everything ok?”
“I have a flat tyre” she replied
“Do you have a spare?”
“Yes I do”
“Good, pop the boot then” Brian said
“But it’s also flat” she said sheepishly
“That’s not so good” he pointed out
“Do you have a mobile phone I can borrow?” she asked “Mine isn’t working”
“It’s not your phone that’s the problem” he said “Coverage is a bit patchy up here”
“Oh” she said looking downcast
“Well we have a couple of options, I can either go ahead, and send help back, which I’m not really comfortable with” he said “or I can give you a lift, I’m going as far as Highfinch”
“Oh really” she said brightening a bit “so am I”
“Well that a bit of luck then” he said “I’m Brian by the way”
“Rosie” she replied and unlocked the car.
He helped Rosie transfer her bags from her car to his and when she had locked it they set off down the road.
After a few minutes he said
“It was fortunate that I came along” He said “it’s not a particularly busy road at this time of year especially after dark”
“Yes it was very providential” she agreed
“So whereabouts in the Village are you going?” he asked
“The Vicarage” she replied
“Seriously?”
“Yes, is it so shocking that I would be going there?” she asked thinking he must be an atheist or a humanist or just a cynic
“Not at all” Brian replied “I’m guessing you must be the new Curate”
“Yes I am” she said with surprise “but how did you know that?”
“Well I could tell you that Highfinch is a small village and everyone knows everyone else’s business” he said
“But actually it’s because the Vicar is my sister”
“Oh well that’s very providential indeed” she said and laughed
(Part 05)
Once inside the house he got his first proper look at the new Curate and he wasn’t disappointed, he thought she was a very pretty girl a few years younger than him he figured late twenties possibly 30.
She was wearing her shoulder length brunette hair down so it danced around her nape of her neck as she walked into the hall and when she slipped off her coat she was wearing a green dress that hugged her figure, well what figure she had.
Rosie was a tall girl, stick thin, with no visible bust line at all, nor did she have any hips to speak of and she had an arse like a boy, but very nice legs though and overall Brian liked what he saw.
Jenna had returned after her date at the fireworks and was in the lounge, so he took Rosie in and introduced the two of them and they greeted each other like they were long lost friends.
“I’ll take your bags up to your room” he said
“Thank you” they both said and he left the two of them chattering incessantly.
On Saturday night Jenna was dressed up to the nines for her big date with Nick.
“Wow sis” Brian said when he saw her “Not at all bad for an old bird”
“Don’t be so cheeky” Rosie said and punched his arm
“You look absolutely stunning” she said to Jenna
“Did you see that savage attack?” Brian said rubbing his arm
“She’s only been here two day and I’m already being brutalized”
“Stop whining” Jenna said unsympathetically
“I was actually worried about leaving her in your care for the evening but I can see who will really be in charge”
After Nick had picked Jenna up and Brian and Rosie watched them drive off there was a brief awkward silence between them until Brian said
“Listen I can’t offer you the sumptuous delights of the Runcible Spoon but I can run to a pretty decent pizza”
“On one condition” she replied
“What’s that?”
“That we can watch Dr Who while we eat it”
“I can see you are a girl after my own heart, it a deal” he said “I’ll get the menu”
So while Nick and Jenna were enjoying the culinary delights at The Runcible Spoon, Brian and Rosie ate pepperoni Pizza and watched Dr Who after which he said.
“We could go over to the Downshire Arms if you like”
“I’m not a big pub person” she replied hesitantly
“There’s a quiz on” he added
“Well I do like a quiz” she “Ok, as long as it’s not too rowdy”
“I promise” he said “Highfinch doesn’t do rowdy”
The pub was quite busy but not rowdy and not having been in the village that long he didn’t know that many people so he made a bee line for the only familiar faces he recognized, one of which was his new boss David Pike who was sitting at the same table as fellow parish councillors Julia Thomas and Vicki Paulding none of whom had yet met the new curate.
They had a fun evening and their improvised team battled bravely to a very creditable second place.
As he was taking his outdoor shoes off Rosie noticed the abnormality as he took his left foot out of his shoe and quickly slipped it into his slipper.
“What happened to your foot” she asked
“A road side bomb” he replied “In Afghanistan”
“I didn’t know you were in the army”
“Yes but not anymore though” he said sadly
“Do you get any pain?”
“No not really, not anymore” he said
“It just looks a bit freaky so I’m a bit self-conscious about it”
“I used to be a nurse so I’m sure I’ve seen worse” she said
“I don’t think we know each other well enough yet” he said “But thanks”
(Part 06)
Nick and Jenna had a lovely meal in Purplemere and found that the Runcible Spoon certainly didn’t disappoint and they would both have agreed that neither did the company.
The next day Jenna was in a wonderful mood and it didn’t take an expert to know why and Brian was very pleased to see she was looking much more like her old self again and seemed to have fully recovered from the malady of despondency that had afflicted her.
Jenna was also on very good form in the pulpit and delivered a very inspiring and enlightening sermon and afterwards back at the Vicarage she turned her attention on Brian.
“Brother Dearest” she said
“What?” he responded suspiciously?
“I have a task for you”
“And what’s that?” Brian asked
“I need you to help out at the Christmas Bazaar” she said
“Oh ok yes I can do that” Brian said a little relieved to get off so lightly
“Excellent” she said “We just need to get the ladies to alter the costume”
“Hold on what costume?” Brian said “I don’t remember agreeing to a costume”
“The Santa costume obviously” Jenna said
“I am not going to dress up and Santa” he said adamantly
“But you have to, you can’t sit in Santa’s grotto in your ordinary clothes” Jenna insisted
“What grotto?” he asked
“You’ll make a wonderful Santa” Rosie added
“That’s not fair, you’re ganging up” he said indignantly “ganging up isn’t fair”
“I’ll let you know when you’re needed for the first fitting” Jenna said as she left the room
“But Jenna?” he called
“Can’t talk, I’m going to lunch with my boyfriend”
A moment later her head appeared around the door and she added
“I rather like the way that sounds”
Brian spent the next five minutes trying to fathom how she had managed to rope him into playing Santa at the St Martin’s School Christmas Bazaar without him even realising what he had agreed to and in fact he was left with the impression that he actually volunteered.
A local man called Henry Gold normally played Santa and had done for many years but since his sad demise earlier that year it had proved difficult to replace him.
“You really will make a marvellous Santa” Rosie said and went out to make lunch.
Later that week his sister volunteered him for something else but on this occasion he offered no resistance.
As the winter was beginning to bite there had been a call out to church groups in the area for volunteers for the soup kitchens in Purplemere or Finchbottom.
As soon as the request came through Rosie signed up without a seconds hesitation which prompted Jenna to suggest Brian do the same to look after her.
But what began as a simple babysitting exercise turned out to be one of the most rewarding things he had ever done, a real eye-opening experience plus he got to spend time with Rosie which was becoming more of a pleasure every time they went out.
Brian was replacing Henry Gold as Santa at St Martin’s School Christmas Bazaar due to the latter’s sad demise earlier in the year and as Henry was a much bigger man than Brian was so some significant adjustments to the suit and the padding were necessary.
So on the Monday morning before the Bazaar in the church Hall the Vicar and a small team of ladies were on hand to affect alterations, well the team of ladies obviously did all the work and Jenna looked on, but Brian noticed she was wearing a worried frown.
(Part 07)
He didn’t want to broach the subject in front of the ladies so he waited until they were on their own back at the Vicarage that evening.
“What’s the matter sis?”
“Christmas is the matter” she replied
“But you love Christmas” he reminded her
“Yes but It’s such a busy time, there is so much going on, Advent, Christingle, Carol Concert and the Bazaar and everyone is watching me to see if I screw up”
“But you’ve been here for ten years” he said “this is hardly your first Christmas”
“Yes but it’s my first Christmas as the Vicar” she said worriedly
“Look you’ve already ticked off the first Sunday of advent and the Bazaar is totally covered, so stop worrying” he reassured her.
For Reverend Jenna Lawton the run up to the second weekend of advent was a test of endurance and the success of the first weekend of Advent under her belt she still approached the Second weekend with little confidence despite her brother’s words of comfort.
On Friday lunchtime Brian was required at the Church Hall for his final fitting, so he walked over from the Golf Course in his meal break.
But before he could get in the door of the Church Hall his sister the Vicar burst out of it.
“It’s a total disaster” Jenna blurted out “Trevor Gurney has appendicitis”
“Oh no” Brian said “is he ok?”
“What?” she said as if confused by the question
“Trevor” he clarified “is he ok?”
“Oh shit,” the Vicar exclaimed, “I never thought to ask”
“So what’s the disaster then?” He enquired
“Trevor is the chief Elf to your Santa,” she explained
“So what’s the problem?” he said “can’t we just find someone to fill his shoes?”
“It’s not his shoes that are the problem” Jenna explained
“He’s a six foot stick insect with a bum like a twelve year old boy”
“Oh” Brian said unhelpfully
“We can’t get anyone else with their own costume at this late stage” she went on
Brian went to speak but she was in full flow and cut him off
“No! We can’t hire a costume they’re all gone, and if we put one of the volunteers in Trevor’s costume they will just look ridiculous”
“Don’t you think a six foot Elf is ridiculous anyway?” Brian remarked
“He’s a very good Elf” Jenna said indignantly “and he supplied his own costume”
“So let me get this straight we need someone six feet tall, stick thin with an arse like a 12 year old boy” he asked
“Yes” Jenna replied crossly, “That’s why it’s a disaster”
“I know just the person,” he said
“Really?” she asked doubtfully
“Really” he said and taking out his mobile phone he got up his contacts list, scrolled down and hit call.
“Rosie? Where are you?”
“I’m here” she said suddenly emerging from the Church Hall
“What are you doing tomorrow?” he asked and put his phone away.
The Vicar paced up and down like an expectant father while looking her Curate up and down.
“I don’t believe it, the solution was right under my nose all the time” she said
“Will you do it?” She asked eventually
“Do what?” Rosie asked
“Be the chief Elf to my Santa” he said “You are uniquely qualified”
“Ok” Rosie agreed
“Sorted” Brian replied
“Thank you God” Jenna said looking to the heavens and crossing herself “and thank you Brian”
“You’re perfect Rosie, I can’t believe I didn’t see it” she said
“You obviously don’t spend as much time looking at her as I do” Brian said and then blushed at the realization that he’d said it out loud.
Jenna didn’t notice but Rosie did and she was smiling as she went back inside.
Jenna just kissed his cheek before going off to belatedly enquire about Trevor’s state of health.
Brian followed her into the hall where the ladies swarmed around him like they were preparing Cinderella for the ball.
He tried on the suit and measurements were taken by women muttering to one another with their mouths full of pins and it was agreed it would be ready by Friday without fail and after the ladies had finished doing their thing, he returned to work in a good frame of mind and very much looking forward to the big day.
(Part 08)
On Saturday morning Brian rose very early and to his surprise Jenna and Rosie had already left the house.
Although he was press ganged into the job and he was a bit nervous, well in truth he was terrified, he was pleased that he would not be enduring the ordeal alone and would be sharing the experience with Curate Rosie Coulter.
He treated himself to an extra close shave, a much closer one than usual in order to accommodate the beard and as a result when he applied the aftershave it stung like hell.
He arrived at St Martin’s school smelling sweetly and red-faced at about 11.00am to find his sister the Vicar fussing around like a mother hen, uncharacteristically wanting things just so.
“Hey sis” he said
“You’re cutting it fine” Jenna said crossly
“There’s plenty of time” he said
“There’s still so much to do” she retorted
“Ok just calm down” Brian said “it’s all in hand”
“Look it’s not just a Christmas Bazaar you know we’re making Christmas memories” Jenna said “it’s important for the children so it’s got to be done right”
Just then Rosie came through the door behind him
“Hello Santa” she said brightly
“Hi Rosie” he said “Hey why aren’t you in costume?”
“Some of us have had a very busy morning Grouchy Clause” Rosie said
“Come on Rosie your costume is through there” said Jenna and lead her away to one of the offices, but she paused by the doorway and let Rosie go ahead of her gave her an appraising look and declared to her brother.
“You were right bro she does have a bum like a twelve year old boy”
“Yes she’s perfect” he said absentmindedly
Jenna smiled and left him with the drama teacher Cherry Overton-Brown who showed him in to the grotto.
“I’m your dresser, Brian” she said “I’m going to help you with your wig and beard”
“Ok” he said
“I’m in amateur dramatics you know” she continued pompously
“No I didn’t know that” he replied disinterestedly
The grotto was in one of the classrooms, though he wasn’t sure what subject as all the walls were hidden behind red velvet drapes, decorated with tinsel and coloured lights.
The huge throne was in the furthest corner surrounded by Christmas parcels.
Leading to the throne was a snow covered path and on one side of it was a festive tableau of snowmen and reindeer and on the other side Santa’s sleigh was parked.
He was fully regaled in the red velvet suit and as he sat on his throne, Cherry applied the finishing touches to his beard and placed the hat on his head and pinned it to the wig.
Just as she stepped away to admire her handiwork Rosie appeared, and being tall and flat chested she was dressed as Bernard the Elf, from The Santa Clause movies, wearing Trevor Gurney’s costume, and it was a perfect fit.
Which consisted of a rather expensive looking fitted tunic, in brown and green with gold brocade decorating the front and back, thick deep red tights on her skinny legs and pixie boots with turned up toes.
Rosie’s hair was tied up and hidden under a matching hat and to all intents and purposes she looked like a boy, and he still found her staggeringly sexy.
(Part 09)
To get to the grotto you had to enter via an adjoining classroom, also festively decked out which acted as an ante room where a small number of children and their accompanying parents waited their turn, and where Cherry Overton-Brown, who for some reason was dressed as Robin Hood, kept order, and beyond the anteroom in the corridor there was a sizable queue of expectant children.
The grotto opened to the first child at 1 pm and there was pretty constant stream almost non-stop until 4 o’clock.
Rosie escorted the excited or apprehensive child in from the ante chamber, who would then climb upon Santa’s lap, the child not Rosie, much to Brian’s disappointed.
Santa would then have a quick chat with them and give them their gift, and then Tom Rowlands, the Verger, would take a photo.
Rosie then escorted the happy child back out to their parents and this well-oiled machine kept operating like that for 3 hours and when Rosie escorted the final child back to their waiting parents the Verger followed them out.
Leaving Brian shattered and alone on his throne and suffering from the seasonal condition of “Santa’s lap”.
He was gagging for a drink he had nits in his beard and a damp patch on his trousers.
But despite his apprehension at his debut as Santa he had thoroughly enjoyed the experience and hoped he had done his predecessor proud.
When Rosie returned from showing the last of the little darlings out of the door she came over to him and said
“That’s definitely the last of them”
“Excellent” he sighed
“But there is just one more customer for Santa” She said and sat on his knee.
“I don’t think I have a present for you little girl” Santa said “I’m almost certain that you’re on the naughty list”
“I think I’m probably on the nice and naughty list” Rosie said and giggled
“But I really don’t think I have any presents left” he said
“Then I will have to have a kiss instead” she said and kissed him.
As the resident celebrity of Highfinch, and the Vicars boyfriend, Nick Faulkner, was both the guest of honour and the raffle prize draw master.
But with the draw complete he went in search of his own prize draw, namely the Reverend Lawton and he caught up with her in the ante room to Santa’s grotto.
She was peering through a gap in the door to the grotto.
“What are you looking at nosy?” Nick said
“Shush” she said and put her finger to her lips “Come and have a look”
He tiptoed across the room and also peaked through the crack in the door and could see Rosie the Elf snogging Santa Claus.
“Well, well” he said “Just wait until Mrs Claus finds out about this”
“Oh I think she already knows” Jenna said
No comments:
Post a Comment