Steve Berry had
always had a dislike for Christmas, despite all the jollity and faux fun
because unlike many of his Christmas mad friends he had no happy Christmas
memories to anesthetise him against the season.
His parents
were alcoholics and each year their Christmas came in a bottle and thanks to
his father Steve’s came with a slap.
So his childhood
Christmases were memories he would rather have forgotten.
But
adulthood brought no relief and it always seemed to him that when shit happens
Christmas just magnifies the misery.
If someone
dies at Christmas the very season makes it more keenly felt.
He could
testify to that as his mother died on Christmas Eve when he was 19.
He has no
idea where his father is and quite frankly he doesn’t care.
He never
showed up for the funeral and he could be dead as well for all he knew.
So as a
result he has never trusted Christmas, he knows that shit lurks beneath the
coloured lights and paper chains.
He used to
dream of getting away at Christmas and going somewhere that doesn’t celebrate
it in any way shape or form.
But where
exactly is that place. If anyone has any ideas then answers on a postcard to
Steve Berry.
So each year
like the rest of us he is subjected to all the usual false jollity, Christmas
Parties, Secret Santa’s and Christmas Lunch, Paper hats, crackers and all that
shit.
And
everywhere he would go from October onwards was bedecked with tinsel, garlands,
bells, baubles and led lights.
Each and every
shop plays endless spools of regurgitated Christmas tunes and God forbid you
ever broach the subject of the morons who decorate the outside of their houses.
Steve never
had a girlfriend at Christmas he always dumped them. Or got himself dumped,
when they started to get too jolly.
So when he
was 21 he developed the perfect anti Christmas strategy.
He would
always save a chunk of annual leave and finished work at least one week before
the big day and returned after the New Year debacle.
He would
stock up with food along with the other festive numpties and armed with a stack
of DVD box sets he became a Christmas recluse until the year turned.
It’s been 9
years now and he believes so far so good.
He has found
it has become easier over the years with catch up TV, he just needed to avoid
the adverts that remind him that it’s Christmas or that he can’t afford a
holiday.
So he was in
the Pig and Whistle, not exactly a real shit hole of a pub but the only one in
town guaranteed not to play Christmas stuff because the landlord Phil hated
Christmas almost as much as Steve did.
It was his last
night out before his Christmas exile and it was his intention to get totally
shitfaced as he had almost three weeks to recover.
He was not a
social animal, he liked his own company and if he ever engaged in conversation
with fellow patrons it was because he had initiated it.
He was
averse to being rude if someone else spoke first.
So he was
just enjoying his third pint as he sat in the furthest most corner of the bar reading
his book when it happened.
“Hello” she
said
Steve
ignored her, normally if he didn’t respond they’d get the message and go away
“Hello” she
said louder “Are you ok?”
“I was” he
sighed
“Oh dear Mr
Grinch” she said “what you need is some Christmas spirit”
“I’m fine” he
insisted
“I don’t
think you are sitting on your own in the furthest most corner” she said
Steve looked
at her for the first time, she was roughly his age, maybe a little younger, and
she was wearing a red dress and red and white striped stockings and had tinsel
in her mousy hair.
“Who are you?
The Christmas fairy?” he asked gruffly
He wanted to
tell her to fuck off but she was quite cute.
“No I’m Holly, Phil’s niece” she said
“Holly? How
very festive” He said sarcastically
“Yes I’m
going to instil a little Christmas spirit” Holly said
“But Phil
hates Christmas” Steve informed her
“I know” she
said “which is why he’s going to Las Vegas until the New Year”
“When?” He
asked
“Half an
hour ago” she replied
“So are you
going to come and join the rest of us?”
“No thanks I
don’t do Christmas” he said and returned to his book
“Oh well
perhaps some Christmas music will get you in the mood” she said resolutely
“Oh God” he
said
The Christmas party mix was
really grating on him but he was too far along with his Christmas strategy to
go off hunting for another Christmas free pub so he had to put up with it.
As the evening wore on she
persisted in trying to draw him out of his corner, but to no avail.
He left the corner only to
go to the bar and get another drink and then returned to his slitude.
Apart from the music
upsetting his plans there was the added annoyance of customers, more arriving
every hour, word had got out that Phil “The Grinch who stole Christmas” had
gone for the duration, and that there was a new Santa in town.
This only became a problem
however when while he was at the bar and somebody took over his corner.
So he returned to the bar
again.
“Back again already Steve?”
Holly asked
“Someone is in my seat” he
said
“Well pull up a stool” she
suggested
“Do I have a choice?” he
said grumpily
“You’re just a little ray
of sunshine” she said and laughed
“I can see I’m going to
have to use all my magic on you”
He settled himself down
“I’ve never seen it so busy
in here” Steve said
“I know” Holly said “I’m
going to need more staff at this rate”
“Good luck with that” he
said
He woke up the next morning
with his face stuck to the mock leather of a bench seat.
And when he painfully sat
himself up he saw he was in the lounge bar of the Pig and Whistle.
Well he had intended
getting shit faced the night before, so mission accomplished there, he had
expected to wake up with a hangover, so another box ticked, but it was never
part of the plan to wake up at the pub.
“Good morning sunshine”
Holly called as she crashed through the door wearing a dressing gown and
slippers.
“Ow” he said “have some
respect for the dead”
She put a mug of black coffee on the table in
front of him and peered at his bloodshot eyes
“Blimey! Can you actually
see through those?” she asked
“I hope you don’t drink
like that when you’re working”
“Well I don’t need to worry
about work until January” he said and sipped at his coffee
“Don’t you remember
anything about last night?” Holly asked with a wry smile on her lips
He closed his eyes and
replied
“I remember I don’t like
Christmas”
“Anything else?” Holly
persisted
“It was very busy, very noisy”
Steve said but could remember nothing else
“Do you remember me saying
I needed more staff?” she asked
“Yes I do remember that” he
replied
“Good” she said “because
your it”
“What?” he said loudly and then
winced
“You volunteered to work
right through till New Year’s Eve”
“I can’t have” Steve said
“Well you did” She insisted
and showed him a piece of paper detailing the fore mentioned offer signed by
Steve.
“That doesn’t count” he
said “I was pissed”
“It’s legally binding” Holly
stated “It’s notarized by a solicitor”
Steve stared at the
signature
“Sam Culver?” he said “he’s
not a solicitor he’s a forklift driver”
“Be that as it may he has
still witnessed your signature on this contract” she said coolly
“Contract?” he said in
disbelieve
“Contract” she confirmed
“Oh please you’re not
really going to hold me to this?” Steve said waving the “contract” in her
direction
“You start tonight” she
informed him
“Oh God I’ve sold my soul
to the Christmas fairy” he said with his head in his hands
“I prefer Christmas angel”
she said “But I’m not the one with tinsel in my hair”
“Oh shit” he exclaimed
“Get yourself a hair of the
dog, I’m going to get dressed” Holly said smiling
“Oh and there’s no drinking
on the job, by the way”
Over the week and a half
that followed his entrapment, between his first shift and Christmas Eve, Holly
had done her best to elicit the details of why it was that Steve hated
Christmas so much.
Holly had noticed right at
the beginning that he was not the miserable git that she first thought.
In fact that first night
when he was forced to sit at the bar he had been very funny, once he managed to
forget it was Christmas.
But every time he heard
someone utter the words happy Christmas it was like he’d been stabbed.
So she relentlessly picked
away at the scab every day, but she couldn’t get him to open up, but she wasn’t
prepared to give up under any circumstances.
Steve would never have
admitted it and despite his initial protests he was rather enjoying working
behind a bar again.
He hadn’t done it since he
left university and started working as an accountant.
The repetitive festive
music still grated on him, though less so, even the Christmas t-shirts and
jumpers that Holly made him wear had become less onerous.
Holly herself led by
example and wore an almost inexhaustible supply of festive outfits and he had
to admit she still looked cute in which ever one she was wearing.
She was a nosey cow though
and kept poking and prodding at him trying to find out what made him tick.
But it amused him that his
not playing ball was driving her crackers.
On Christmas Eve he drove to
the pub, arriving at 9.30am, and thought
“It’s going to be a long
day”
It was bitterly cold and
the sky was grey and overcast, he sniffed the air and knocked on the front door
which Holly opened within a couple of minutes and she was already dressed in
her Christmas outfit, namely Mrs. Clause.
“Morning Steve” she said
“Happy Christmas Eve”
“Why are you always so cheerful?”
he asked in response
“Because “it’s a wonderful
life”” she said
“Oh God are you going to
throw festive film titles at me all day?”
“I hadn’t thought of that”
she said “but it sounds like fun”
He took his coat off and revealed
his jumper of the day adorned with a reindeers head.
“There’s snow in the air”
he said hanging up his coat
“Lovely” she replied with a
chuckle “White Christmas”
“Stop it” Steve said
Holly had walked to the bar
picked something up and returned with it behind her back.
“What’s that?” he asked
suspiciously
“Antlers” she said
triumphantly and put them on his head
“Please no” he said “that’s
too much”
“Stop whining Grinch or
I’ll put the Christmas tape on” she threatened
They knew it was going to
be busy in the pub that day so in addition to Holly and Steve there were
barmaids Clare and Petra and in the kitchen were Stefano and Ausra.
It wasn’t manically busy
but there was a steady flow all day, shoppers popping in for a warm, that kind
of thing, and as it was such a bitter cold day the kitchen did a roaring trade
in warming chili, casseroles and stews so much so that they kept the kitchen
going right through the afternoon.
It was not however a day
for cold desserts.
By five o’clock they had
sold out and the till drawers were stuffed.
Holly kept taking them away
to the office but they kept filling up.
While Holly counted the
takings in the office, Steve and Petra manned the bar and Clare helped Steph
and Ausra clear away.
Job done they joined Steve
at the bar and were enjoying a well-earned drink when Holly came out.
“Well done you lot” she
said “I hope that drink is on the house”
“It is” Steve said
“We have had a phenomenal
day” she said handing out pay packets “so there’s a little something extra in
there”
“Thanks boss” Stephanos
said
“Cheers Hol” Petra
“Thanks Holly” Clare and
Ausra said simultaneously
What she didn’t tell them
was that the little extra was 100 pounds per head, they wouldn’t find that out
until later.
“Where’s mine?” Steve asked
“Grinch tax” Holly said to
the great amusement of the others and patted his cheek
“Charming” he replied but
was laughing when he said it he knew that the others were finished until after
Christmas he still and the evening shift.
Although he wasn’t bothered
about the money particularly he knew he would get it, he had actually enjoyed
Christmas Eve for the first time ever.
They all finished their
drinks and it was the moment that Steve hated most, the final farewell when
Christmas wishes were exchanged.
“Merry Christmas” Clare
said and kissed Steve
“And you” he replied
“Happy Christmas Stevie”
Ausra said kissing him
“Yes you too” said Steve
Happy, Happy Christmas”
Petra said planting a very exuberant kiss on hids mouth
“Ditto” he replied
“A very happy Christmas my
friend” Stephanos said extravagantly and feigned to kiss him but shook his hand
instead and roared with laughter.
“Have a good one” Steve
said and also laughed.
When they had gone Steve
noticed it had started snowing lightly.
“So why can’t you say Happy
Christmas?” Holly asked
“I told you it was going to
snow” he said
“Don’t change the subject”
Holly persisted
“I can say it, I just
didn’t need to as everyone else said it”
He answered “I didn’t want
to wear the phrase out”
“Baubles” Holly said
Holly disappeared upstairs
for half an hour and when she came down she had changed outfits
She wore a different red
Dress with white trim and a more daring neckline
But instead of her
customary stripy tights she was wearing black tights with holly motifs, how
appropriate Steve thought as he was wiping down the tables in readiness for the
next wave of punters.
Steve thought she was quite
cute but he would have to liberate her from the Christmas stuff first if she
was ever to progress further than cute.
“I wish I’d asked Steph to
keep some Chili back” Holly said “I’m starving”
“Don’t worry” he said “when
Debbie arrives I’ll go over the road and get a take away”
“Ok” she concurred “but
what takeaway”
“Your choice, my treat” he
replied
“What a Christmas treat?” Holly
asked
“No just a treat” he
replied and smiled
Debbie arrived right on
time.
“The snows settling” she
said as she went behind the bar
“Hi Debbie” Holly said
“So what’s your poison?” Steve
asked
“Pizza” She replied very
definitely “Pepperoni”
“Have you eaten Debbie?” he
shouted
“Yes but I can eat a slice
or two” she replied
As he walked across the
road to Dominoes he noticed the snow was falling faster and would lay quite
deep if it persisted.
Despite Debbie saying she
would only eat a piece or two he decided to get a pizza each, he’d seen Debbie
eat before and for a skinny bird she could really pack it away.
When he got back to the pub
the clientele had almost doubled so he thought it was the beginning of the evening
rush and wasn’t sure if they’d have time to enjoy the pizzas.
He needn’t have worried it
proved to be a false dawn and the rush never materialized.
He was right about one
thing Debbie demolished a whole pizza.
By seven o’clock the
numbers hadn’t really changed even if the faces had.
And by eight with the snow
falling thick and fast in near blizzard conditions it was fairly obvious
punters weren’t going to be venturing out in any significant numbers.
Knowing that Debbie had a
ten mile journey home Holly said
“I think you’d better get
off hon or you won’t get home at all”
“Are you sure Hol?” Debbie
asked
“Absolutely” She said and
handed Debbie her coat and her pay packet.
“Thanks Holly” she said
“Happy Christmas”
“Happy Christmas and drive
safely” she said “Text me when your home”
“Ok, happy Christmas Steve” she said
“And you Deb” he replied
Holly had walked to the
door with Debbie and stared out the window for a long time as she watched her
get underway.
When she returned to the
bar she said
“You’d better get off as
well Steve”
“No I’ll stay a bit longer”
he replied
“This might be your last
chance” she said “it’s coming down like billy-o”
“That’s ok” he said “I can
always kip in the lounge bar again”
It was a strange night
although there weren’t many customers they still managed to sell quite a lot of
beer.
They had a succession of
punter coming in for jugs of ale, so much so that they ran out of jugs.
But all in all it was very
quiet.
So by 9 o’clock Holly said
“Right let’s have a drink”
“I thought you didn’t like
the staff drinking on duty” he said
“What the hell its
Christmas” she replied and noticed that he visibly tensed at the word Christmas
She pulled him a pint and
poured a glass of wine for herself.
And they sat on stools on
the punters side of the bar to drink them.
“Do you mind if I crash
here tonight Holly? He asked
“I’d rather you crashed
here than out there” She replied
“And it looks like my plans
for tomorrow will need to be revised, so we can spend the day together, if you
like”
“Ok thanks” he said
They were well into their
second drink when Holly asked
“So what exactly is the
deal with you and Christmas?”
“Do we have to go there” he
asked
“Yes we do” she said “I’ve
been watching you this week and every time someone wishes you a happy Christmas
you react as if you’ve been stabbed”
“Well I wouldn’t go that
far” Steve responded
“I would” she said but he
just shrugged
“Come on Steve” she
insisted “You are such an infuriating man, cough it up”
“Can’t you just leave it
alone?” he said
“You can’t tell me you haven’t
enjoyed this week” she said “or that you would have preferred to be locked away
in your flat pretending that that Christmas was just a bad dream”
Steve drained his glass and
went through the hatch and pulled himself another one.
“I don’t want to go into
all the details, suffice is to say that for me There was no happy little boy
waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve” he said painfully
“My childhood was
unbearable and Christmas was even more so”
Holly didn’t speak but sat
with head sympathetically inclined
“Not everyone is raised by
Mary Poppins” he said factiously
“That’s not very fare”
Holly said hurtfully
“I suppose you think my
Christmases were happy?”
Steve merely snorted
“I had a lousy Christmases
as a child, my parents didn’t believe in it so we didn’t celebrate it,” she
said forcefully
But Steve looked
unconvinced
“My parents are hippies”
She stated “Christmases for me were spent in a VW Camper van on Salisbury plain,
don’t get me wrong, I love my parents and for me at the time it seemed
perfectly normal and I was perfectly happy”
Holly paused
“And I would get a present,
though it was never wrapped in Christmas paper, there was no Christmas trees, No
baubles or tinsel, No garlands or colored lights, in my childhood Christmas
just didn’t exist”
“So now you’re over
compensating” Steve said and took another drink.
“Not at all I decided that
feeling sorry for myself was not an option, and
I refused to be dictated to
by the past” she said “I decided I would make new memories and stop looking
back”
“I was 17 when I first
experience a proper Christmas, and I thought it was wonderful, magical and I’ve
made sure I’ve enjoyed everyone since”
“There is no similarity
between our childhoods” he said
“Your childhood was happy
it just didn’t include Christmas,
Mine was desperately
unhappy”
“And you blame Christmas
for it” Holly said “I know for your life was different, but I want to squeeze
the most joy I can from every moment”
Steve just looked at her as
she took a brief pause
“Just as you should” She
said and put her hand on his knee
At that moment the doors
opened and a new group of punters came through the door.
He stood behind the bar drying
glasses as he watched Holly as she chatted to the clientele in turn.
He liked it as she walked
from table to table, she had a gait that was easy on the eye and the way the
flared skirt moved across her legs was quite sensual.
Then one by one the meagre
band of customers disappeared into the snowy night.
It was midnight and as the
last customer left for the night, Holly wished them a happy Christmas and
locked the front doors.
As she slipped the last
bolt across and drew the curtain.
Steve appeared behind her
just as the church bells chimed.
Holly turned and faced him
“Merry Christmas Holly” he
said and kissed her
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