Tales from the Finchbottom Vale – (19) Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining

 

The Purplemere Film Studio’s was a large complex of production spaces and studios that almost fell into disuse but its fortunes were turned around by Peter Lutchford the renowned film director who had turned it into one of the premier film industry resources in Europe.

The complex catered for every aspect of film production including set design, costumes, sound and visual FX, in addition to the stages.

Some areas were in a security controlled zone but there were still a lot of others on the periphery and it was into the small staff car park of one of the companies in a peripheral complex that Jed Anderson drove on a Monday evening at the end of April.

He could see there was only one empty space left so he headed towards that and parked the car.

Jed was just reaching into the foot well to retrieve his book that had fallen off the seat and he could see in his peripheral vision that someone was heading in his direction.

He was a small smartly dressed man, casual smart rather than business smart.

When he reached the car he thrust his head through the open window and said abruptly in a very aggressively unhelpful tone.

“Can I help?”

“No, you’re ok” Jed replied brightly as he returned to the upright position.

“Which company do you work for?” he demanded

“What in this complex?” he asked

“Yes” he barked

“I don’t work for any of them” Jed replied

“Well you’re on private property” he said

“Yes I understand that” he agreed

“Then you can’t park here” he said still in an aggressive tone.

“I don’t work here, but my wife does and I’m picking her up” he explained

“Well there’s no need to be aggressive” he said

“Whoa I’m not being aggressive, I’m just being honest, you’re the one who’s being aggressive, getting in my face and throwing your weight about” he said

“You are being aggressive” he repeated which was the final straw for Jed.

“Look, my wife works here and I’m here to pick her up, end of story” he said dismissively, opened his book and turned his full attention to it as the angry little man walked off muttering something in a thick Scottish accent.

“Unbelievable” Jed thought he heard him say but he couldn’t make out anything else, the man was very Scottish.

Of course when he said he was picking up his wife that wasn’t strictly true, Karen was his ex-wife but the officious Scotsman didn’t need to know that.

Karen and Jed had divorced the year before but it was a completely amicable split because after eight years of marriage they both realised it wasn’t really working.

In fact they carried on living under the same roof for nine months until they sold the house and it wasn’t really very different to when they were married, and it really should have been if they belonged together as a couple, so they knew they had made the right decision.

But even after the divorce they were still very good friends which was why he was still picking her up from work.

Even after they stopped living under the same roof they still lived within half a mile of each other and as the split was so amicable it made no sense to abandon their long standing routine of travelling to and from work together. 

 

A few minutes after the vertically challenged pompous Scottish git went away muttering to himself Karen arrived down the steps behind him.

He didn’t relay the tale to her about his interlocutor other than to say he had been quizzed about parking in that car park and that would probably have been the end of it had it not been for the fact that the ridiculous little man, who it transpired was the de facto landlord, had made a complaint to the Facilities Manager, of the company Karen worked for.

 

It was very embarrassing for Karen when she was summoned to the office of Suzy Ford, the Facilities Manager, to be told that her husband had verbally abused the landlord, or at least his representative.

“Ex-husband” she interjected

“What?” Ms Ford retorted

“Jed is my ex-husband” Karen explained to her

“But he still picks you up from work?” Suzy queried

“Yes” she replied

“Is he still carrying a torch for you?” The Facilities Manager asked

“No not at all” Karen replied “he’s just a very good man”

“I wish mine was” Suzy confided “the lousy bastard”

“Ah” Karen responded

“Anyway Mr Clarke has alleged that your ex-husband was aggressive and abusive” Suzy continued “Shouting and swearing at him”

“Nonsense” Karen said

“Excuse me?” replied the FM

“Jed has never raised his voice in anger to anyone in his life, and as for swearing that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard”

“Well Mr Clarke says otherwise” Suzy said and handed her the email she had received from Keith Clarke which included a transcript of the alleged confrontation.

 

Immediately after the meeting Karen phoned Jed and she was not happy.

She told him that Keith Clarke had accused him of shouting at him and swearing at him and as a result he was banned from picking her up in that car park in future.

To say that Jed Anderson was incandescent with rage when he found out would have been an understatement.

“I promise you that not once did I swear at him or even raise my voice” he said “I may not have paid him the due deference that he was clearly expecting but that was all. In fact if anything he was the aggressor”

“It’s alright I’m not mad at you, but I had to find out your side of the story” Karen said “I didn’t think it sounded like you”

“I can’t believe he lied” Jed said

 

When Karen relayed her ex-husbands version of events to Ms Ford, the Facilities Manager said

“I have heard that about him from other sources, but unfortunately without proof that he has lied we have to obey the landlord’s instructions”

Jed didn’t mind not being able to pick her up, from the car park, that was a minor inconvenience however lying was something he could not abide.

To Jed that kind of behaviour was quite unforgivable.

 

The alternative road he subsequently had to pick Karen up from was in fact better for her than the car park was, as it was nearer the exit she used to come out of in the evening so every cloud has a silver lining.

 

One evening, about a week and a half after he started parking in Studio Approach, which was a one way street about two hundred yards long which had parking spaces on either side along its whole length.

He was sitting in the car when a little blue Renault Clio began reversing into the space behind him and hit his car, well it was little more than a nudge really.

But the girl driving immediately jumped out and ran around to his side of the car and was absolutely horrified at what she had done.

“Oh my God” she said “I am so sorry”

Not that he thought she had really done anything.

But at her urging he got out of the car to go and inspect the damage, or lack of it.

She had jet black curly hair and he estimated she was mid to late twenties, attractive if not beautiful and was wearing a smart grey suit and dark tights.

He also noticed she had very nice legs and was very curvy, Jed liked curvy, but her legs and curves were not what he was meant to be inspecting.

So he looked at both bumpers and save for the slightest scuff there was no damage.

“I’m so sorry again” she said very flustered

“There’s no harm done” he responded

“Let me give you my details” She said reaching over from the driver’s side and rummaging in the glove box.    

“There really is no need” he said admiring the roundness of her buttocks as her movement tightened the fabric of her skirts.

When she returned to the vertical she began scribbling something and then said

“Here you are” as she said it she gave him a Purplemere Studios business card with her name on it.

Sue Moss – Costume Department and when he turned it over her insurance details were written on the back.

“There’s no damage” he said “Honestly”

“We have to do things properly” she insisted

“Do you have many accidents?” he asked already knowing the answer

“No” She said “This is my first”

“I thought so” he said “and actually this doesn’t really count so you still have a perfect record”

 

She seemed to calm down once he had accepted her insurance details and then she got back in the car and safely completed her manoeuvre.

After which she got out of the car, locked it up and walked off down the road, managing to apologize once more before she walked off.

Jed watched her all the way and admired her walk, and what a walk it was, and just as he was getting an eyeful his mobile rang, it was Karen

“Hi” he said

“Hey Jed” she replied “I’m running late”

“No problem” he responded “how long?”

“About an hour” she replied “But you don’t need to wait, I’ll get a cab”

“No problem, I’ve got no plans” he said “I’ll meet you in the Directors Arms”

“Brilliant” she said “You’re a star”

So he locked up the car and walked off down the road towards the Directors Arms pub.

 

Jed got himself a drink and sat in a relatively quiet corner of the bar and then opened his book and had only read about four pages when he heard.

“Oh hello again”

He looked up and saw it was his vehicular assailant,

“Hello Sue” he said

“I just wanted to apologize again” she said

“There really is no need” he replied “but you can buy me a drink”

Which really meant please stay and have a drink with me.

“It’s a deal” she said “and I’ll join you if that’s ok, as long as I’m not imposing?”

“Not at all” he said

As she turned and walked to the bar he had another opportunity to admire her generous curvy form with her buttocks rolling and reshaping within her tailored skirt with each nerve tingling step.

“Very nice” he said under his breath

He watched and admired all the while she was at the bar and when she had got the drinks he watched her again as she walked back towards him and he was mesmerised by what he saw.

When she got to the table she leant forward and put a drink in front of him although he only had eyes for the front of her.

She caught him looking and smiled and then sat down.

“Are you meeting someone?” she asked

“Yes I’m waiting for my ex-wife” he replied and she looked confused so he explained at length the arrangement Karen and he had and Sue looked less confused. 

“What about you?” he asked

“Well I was supposed to be meeting my sister but she’s still in Finchbottom” Sue said

“So you are doing me a favour keeping me company until her train gets in”

“I feel so used” he said feigning hurt

“Very funny” she said

“So what were your plans with your sister?” he asked

“Pictures” Sue replied

“Oh yes” he said “Bruce Willis or Keira Knightley?”

“Knightley, I’m afraid” she replied “Helen’s choice”

“Well I fancy the other one myself” he said “Perhaps…”

“I’d love to” she interrupted

“Great” he said “It’s only on until Saturday”

“Saturday it is then” she said just as her phone rang.

She stood up to answer it and stepped outside to get better reception.

 

“That was my sister” she said when she came back “I have to go”

“Well I’ll see you Saturday then, shall we meet here?” he asked

“Yes” she said “7.30”

“Ok” he replied

“Thanks again for being so understanding” Sue said

“Wait a minute is that how you get all your dates?” he asked

“Pretty much” Sue replied “Bye”

Then he feasted his eyes on her again as she walked away.

“Who was that?” Karen said suddenly appearing

“Just someone I bumped into” he replied

“It looks as though you wouldn’t mind bumping into her again” she said

“Funny you should say that, I’m seeing her on Saturday” he said proudly

“Good for you” Karen said and meant it

“I’m sorry I’m so late, it’s been a pig of a day”

“That’s ok” he assured her “Do you fancy a drink?”

“Oh yes please” she said “as long as I’m not holding you up”

“I wouldn’t have offered if it was a problem” he insisted “as I said I don’t have any plans tonight”

He went and got her a large white wine and himself a coke and returned to the table

“What about you?” he asked

“What?” she said

“Plans for tonight” he explained

“No nothing” she said

“Why don’t we eat then” he suggested “the foods pretty good in here”

“That would be really nice, Jed” she replied “Thank you”

 

Jed got menus from the bar and they ordered their food and then they spent a couple of hours on a proper catch up which they hadn’t done in a while.

When they split up, even though it was amicable and they remained the best of friends themselves, some of their friends felt it there duty to take sides.

So it was about the people “they” as the enemy had lost touch with that filled most of the conversation, then they moved on to the more personal stuff.

There was something Karen had been reluctant to tell him, so she thought she would take the opportunity to share the fact that she had been seeing someone else for a couple of months, his name was Peter and she had met him at work.

“That’s brilliant Karen, I’m really pleased for you” he said “but why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I don’t know really” she replied “it seemed a bit insensitive”

“Well for future reference you can tell me anything” he said

“But you haven’t told me” she said in her defence

“Well there hasn’t been anything to tell” he said “I’ve been on a couple of disastrous blind dates and that’s about all”

“Until today” she added

“Yes until today” he concurred and smiled

 

They finished their drinks and Jed dropped her off at about 9.30.

Even after they stopped living under the same roof they still lived within half a mile of each other and as the split was so amicable it made no sense to abandon their long standing routine of travelling to and from work together.

“Thanks Jed” Karen said “Enjoy your date on Saturday”

“I will” he replied and drove the short distance home.

 

On Saturday evening he sat at the same table he had occupied a few days earlier which afforded him a clear uninterrupted view of the door.

But even then he still managed to miss her when she came in, he had been watching out for a hot girl in a business suit and black tights.

“Are you looking for me?” a voice said and when he looked up it was Sue.

“Oh hi” he said “I didn’t recognise you”

She was wearing tailored trousers a shimmering top and a short tunic.

“Wow you look great” he said

“Thank you” she said and actually blushed at the compliment and he thought to himself at that moment that Sue Moss was a keeper.

He suggested eating somewhere afterwards so they decided to catch the earlier performance which meant they didn’t have time for a drink.

He let Sue go through the door first, not because he was being a gentleman but rather because he was being a letch and wanted to see what her bum looked like in those trousers, he was not disappointed.

 

The film turned out to be quite average, the meal was considerably better but the company was absolutely sublime and as first dates go it was the best one for Jed by some distance.

 

The evening ended with a goodnight kiss by her car and the securing of another date, the following Saturday.

Which he was delighted with but he had always found that second dates were always trickier, because there is an expectation which is not present on a first date and all week he was worried about it.

 

Despite the fact that Jed Anderson had spent the whole week in nervous anticipation, when Saturday came all his fears and apprehensions melted away from the moment he saw her and by the end of the night he thought it had even surpassed their first date, which took some doing.

It again ended by her car, but on that occasion with a much more prolonged kiss.

“Next Saturday?” he said hopefully

“Yes” she said coyly “if you can wait that long” 

“And if I can’t?” he asked expectantly

“You can come to a BBQ with me tomorrow” she said

“I’d love to” he said

“Good answer, you can pick me up” she said “I’ll text you my address”

 

 

On Sunday he picked Sue up as instructed and it was a beautiful sunny May morning and on the journey she filled him in on the family politics of which there wasn’t much to report other than the fact that she and her sister hated their stepfather Keith.

“He’s a pompous, obnoxious, unpleasant little man who isn’t even nice to mum” She ranted

The BBQ was to celebrate their mum’s birthday which was the only reason she and her sister were going.

Eleanor had only been married to Keith for two years but even in that short time he had managed to alienate everyone who was important in Eleanor’s life and Sue and Helen were very unhappy about it.

But for their mums sake they always bit their tongues so as not to upset there her.

That Sunday was no exception and they wouldn’t dream of doing or saying anything to spoil their mum’s birthday.

 

When they arrived he parked the car outside the house.

“Deep breath, big smile” she said and he gave her hand a squeeze.

“Give me a kiss for good luck” she said and he happily obliged.

They were just about to go through the side gate when there was a call from behind them.

“Wait for us”

They turned around and Jed saw a carbon copy of Sue jogging towards them.

“Hey Helen” Sue said and they kissed and then introductions followed before they all proceeded through the gate.

There were a small group of people milling about on the patio, another group on the lawn and a lone man attending to the BBQ.

While Jed was looking around there was some sudden squealing on the patio, from which he deduced that the sisters had located their mum.

Neither Helen’s boyfriend Ray nor Jed had met the family before so they hung back until the hullaballoo had subsided.

When it had they were summoned by their respective girlfriends to be presented.

“I’m pleased to meet you” he said shaking Eleanor’s hand

“Likewise” she said “I’ve heard a lot about you”

“The sausages are ready?” the man called from the BBQ

“And that is my husband” Eleanor said and waved a despairing hand in his direction.

Jed turned around to say hello just as the cook did the same.

“Oh” Jed exclaimed “we’ve already met”

It was Keith Clarke, the lying sack of shit who had accused Jed of swearing at him and his new girlfriend Sue Moss was the officious pompous gits step daughter.

 

When Jed turned around to acquaint himself with Eleanor’s husband he discovered it was Keith Clarke, the lying sack of shit who had accused Jed of swearing at him and his new girlfriend Sue Moss was the officious pompous gits step daughter.

“I suppose you’re going to verbally abuse me again” he said

“I didn’t verbally abuse you the last time” he replied

“What did you do?” Eleanor asked her husband

“Oh trust you to take their side” he said 

“My apologies Eleanor but I think I need to go” he said

“That’s it run away” Keith called after him

“Oh do shut up Keith” Sue said

“As for you, how dare you turn up on your mother’s birthday with a married man you little Trollope” He said venomously

“That’s enough Keith” Eleanor said

“He’s not married you pompous arse” Sue shouted “he’s divorced”

“Oh really is that what he told you?” Keith said with distain

“Then answer me this, what kind of man still drives his ex-wife around?”

“A better man than you obviously” Sue said

“That’s enough from you, you selfish little cow” he said “You’re ruining your mother’s birthday”

“No you’re ruining my birthday” Eleanor said

“What do you mean?” Keith snapped “I’m just trying to do something special for your birthday”

“The most special thing you could do for me would be to get out” Eleanor said

“What?” he said aghast

“I want you to leave” she reiterated

“If I go then I won’t be coming back” he threatened

“Good” she said almost spitting the word at him and Keith went a very funny shade of purple and a vein in his temple started to throb, Jed thought his head might explode but it didn’t and he turned on his heels and went in the house.

Helen and Sue ran immediately to hug their mum and they stood in a comforting scrum on the patio and there were a few tears shed.

They may well have stayed there longer but the huddle broke when Keith came back out of the house carrying a small bag and his jacket, then without speaking he left through the side gate followed by a few of the guests, clearly more his friends than hers.

“Now the party can really start” Eleanor said

There was another brief hug fest from the Moss women and then Eleanor said

“Jed, can you take charge of the BBQ?”

“Leave it to me” he said but Sue stopped him before he got there

“Thank you honey” she said and kissed him very provocatively

 

After an excess of alcohol Jed ended up staying the night, albeit on an uncomfortable sofa.

As the alcohol flowed there was a good deal of talk about Keith Clarke and what a nasty piece of work he was.

Jed was amazed to find out what a mean spirited man he really was, he wouldn’t even allow his step daughters to park in the office car park where their own confrontation took place.

It was apparent that Keith Clarke was a bitter unfulfilled little man who made everyone’s life an absolute misery.

But that said, Jed would be forever grateful to him because had her stepfather not been such a nob he would never have met her, or fallen in love with her so every cloud really does have a silver lining.