I don’t want gimcrack
I don’t want a big
rack
I don’t mind frumpy
Though I’m not keen on
grumpy
She can have an
ordinary face
And two left feet and
lack any grace
I don’t even care
about her age
And her favourite
colour can be beige
I don’t care if she
wears specs
But I do want a girl
with self-respect
And inside a beautiful
spirit
That’s the type of girl who’ll fit
Dawn was a Glaswegian lassie
With the broadest
accent
Which made it
difficult when she spoke
To understand what was
meant
This was exacerbated
By a lisp and a
stutter
And because she didn’t
open her mouth very wide
She had a tendency to
mutter
As a result, I
couldn’t understand her
Apart from when she
said yes or no
But despite all of
that
We went out for three
months or so
The night was of crystal clarity
No clouds obscured the
stars
A new moon graced the
sky
And the lover’s moon
was ours
A shooting star
crossed the sky
And we both made a
wish
Then I held you in
embrace
And we shared our
first kiss
You were so self-conscious
Yet you never saw the
beauty in yourself
The beautiful brunette
hair
That framed your
lovely face
Which you thought lank
and lifeless
Your fabulous legs
that so often were hidden away
Which you thought were
unsightly and fat
Your intoxicating
laugh
That you heard as a
cackle
The tiny scar on your cheek,
That went red when you
drank too much
We could only see it
if you pointed it out
You always thought
yourself ordinary
Nothing could have
been further from the truth
You were beauty
personified
And my biggest regret
Is that I missed my
chance
I dithered and dawdled
And I lost you to
another
I was fourteen when I met her
It was the school
holidays
And time could hang
heavily
As you tried to fill
the days
But that was before
Maria
We met at the local
lido
During that long hot
summer
When she affected me
so
She was a big busted
girl
A full year older than
me
And the stirrings in
my trunks
Were due to her close
proximity
Everywhere that was
important
Maria was big, soft
and round
An open smile and
wondrous lips
And a voice of honey
sweet sound
I lost my heart on
that summer day
Her charms I could not
resist
That summer of sexual
awakening
Her lips were the
first I kissed
What a great summer it
was
With Maria by my side
Our first summer of
love
My heart full of love
and pride
The summer passed much
faster
After I first saw her
lovely face
We parted in September
Never again to share
an embrace
I knew her name
And her email address
And I knew she was a
poet
But that was all I
guess
From her writing I
divined a little more
She was clearly a
Christian
And seemed to be an optimist
But I learned little
more than this
Her profile only told
me her age
And that we were from
the same country
However, I thought I
should contact her
I don’t really know
why
I don’t make a habit
of it
It’s not in my nature
to pry
And I’m not one to seek
out correspondents
I have never foisted
my self
I’ve never been a joiner
of things
Or actively looked for
acquaintance
However, I felt almost
compelled
No, I actually felt
compelled
There was something you
see
In her writing I
suppose
That struck a chord in
me
A kindred spirit
possibly
Maybe we saw through
the same eyes
Or shared the same
moral compass
Or both like apple
pies
I don’t know what it
was
A connection of some
kind
On some obscure level
I should say quite
clearly
There was no romantic
motive
I wasn’t looking for a
lover
That ship sailed long
ago
Nor did I need a
companion
So, what prompted it,
I don’t know
That aside I then
faced the problem
Of what I should say
to her
I couldn’t say I felt
compelled
Or I felt there was a
connection
She would have thought
me mad
But while I struggled
to find the words
A message popped into
my inbox
And it was from her, I
opened it instantly
Read the first line
and smiled
“I hope you don’t mind
me contacting you
I’m not sure what
prompted me to write”
Isn’t life strange?
Like a buccaneer
Sailing the Spanish
main
The vivacious creature
Swept into my life
And like a pirate
Went for my treasure
trove
Pillaging my heart
And stealing it away
Leaving my soul in
chains
And my coffers empty
I have always been magnanimous by nature
Generous of heart and
noble of spirit
Kind, forgiving blah
blah blah
In short, I have
always been a door mat
I don’t get to be the
significant other
I am destined to
forever be the paramour
The elicit lover,
skulking in the dark
Never to come out into
the light
Never to be amative,
never to show my feelings
Always effacing myself
in public
Confined to simple
flirtatious episodes in view
And elicit sexual
dalliances behind closed doors
Hotel doors mainly,
locked against the world
Sometimes another man’s
bedroom door
With another man’s
wife or fiancé
I am not proud of what
I do, but I do it anyway
As I sit in the musty library
In a once great house
I read, not one of the
leather-bound tomes
That fill the shelves
from floor to ceiling
But a collection of
letters
Neatly tied in ribbons
And they take my
breath away
For each page is part
of a remarkable story
About a most
extraordinary couple
And their exceptional
love story
For this lovingly
devoted couple
Never met
Yet their love was
evident
In their personnel
correspondence,
No in their Love
letters
Let’s say it how it is
The flowery words of
an affaire d’amour
Echoed in the
calligraphy on every page
Each billet doux
More affectionate and
romantic than the previous
They bill and coo on
every page
Each lovingly
constructed sentence
Heavily laced with
innuendo
Subtle yet explicit at
the same time
Flavoured with
delicious nuances
Flirtatious and
lustful
Romantic and
affectionate
A love of such purity
Not for its pureness
of thought
But for the absence of
any hope of physicality
She was an invalid,
bed ridden
He a subject of an
enemy state
So, she couldn’t go to
him
He couldn’t come to
her
They could never meet,
would never meet
So, they made love via
correspondence
An affair lasting more
than forty years
Only ending with his
death
His dying wish that
her letters be returned to her
So that they at least
should lie together
When we are apart
I love the way you
miss me
And when we reunite
I love the way you
kiss me
You love, care and
nurture me
You can’t do more than
this for me
I give my heart and
soul to you
I love you oh so
blissfully
I love everything about you
Every inch of your 5
foot 2
I love the way you
dress
And disrobed as well,
I confess
I love your overt
sexuality
And your subtle
femininity
I love your seductive
smile
And your soft tender
lips
I love you from head
to toe
And each and every fingertip
I love your bobbed
brown hair
And your dazzling
green eyes
I love your curvaceous-ness
Your breasts, your
hips, your thighs
I love you lying in my
arms
Beside me in my bed
I love to hold you
close
And kiss you softy on
the head
I love everything
about you
Every inch of your 5
foot 2
And the greatest thing
of all
Is that you love me
too
I have been struck down by delirium
I am restless and unable
to focus
I try to read a book
And read the same
paragraph repeatedly
I am in a state of
confusion
One minute I am sure
of something
The next moment I’m
not
And sometimes I
hallucinate
I think I see
something or someone
I’ve looked it up
online
I have all the
symptoms of delirium
But none of the causes
I don’t have a fever
Nor have I been
poisoned
And I’m pretty sure
I don’t have a brain
injury
No, I have to face
facts
I either have a brain
tumour
Or I’m in love
I don’t know which is
worse
Whenever you feel sad and lonely
And the days are cold
and grey
Think of me and the
love we had
That filled our hearts
each day
Whenever you feel life
get you down
And you feel alone and
scared
Think of me and the
love we had
And the happy moments
that we shared
Whenever you feel you
can’t go on
And you feel weighed
down with pain
Picture me standing at
your side
And you will feel strong
again
Whenever you feel sad
and lonely
And the days are cold
and grey
Just remember what I
told you
I’m with you in spirit every day
I am in love with a little angel
Who I see at the bus
stop each day
It’s been more than a
year now
But I can never find
the words to say
And if I could, should
I say them?
Or should I keep my
feelings to myself
Never speaking my love
aloud
And spend my lifetime
on the shelf
Maybe someday I will
tell her
Of the deep love that
I conceal
But I think that she will laugh at me
If I dared to tell her how I feel.
So, each morning I
will smile
At my sweet angel so petite
And not speak to her
of love
But stare nervously at
my feet
They call you lonely girl
Because you are a girl
And you are always
alone
But are you really a
lonely girl?
Or are you happy where
you are?
Living inside yourself
Alone and self-contained
Are you content to be
alone?
Defying us all for our
conceit
Do you look upon us?
Thinking us odd for
our neediness
Needing to be noticed
Needing to be wanted
Needing to love and be
loved
They call you lonely girl
And await the day
When your abject unhappiness
Will cause you to
merely fade away
Out of your lonely
existence
Or for you to succumb
to the solitude
And end your bitter
life
Dying as you lived,
alone
But you don’t look sad
Nor unhappy with your
lot
You look serene and at
peace
So be content, lonely
girl
If our love is over
If our love really is
no more
Then leave me now
Go now and close the
door
Don’t stay to damage
An already broken
heart
Each day brings more
pain
It is better that we
part
You hand is on the handle
Then my fears are
realised
I have lost your heart
That cannot be disguised
If our love is over
Don’t prolong the
agony
Like a caged love bird
Open the door, set me
free
We must end it now
It has become a
disaster
Please do it quickly
Like removing a
plaster
Go through the door
Don’t look back at me
For I will breakdown
And I don’t want you
to see
The years are passing me by
And another
relationship has failed
What is wrong with me?
Why has this love affair
derailed?
Why can I not hold
onto love?
What kind of signal do
I transmit?
What makes me so
difficult to love?
I cannot put my finger
on it
So, I must move onto
pastures new
Looking for the most
elusive pray
Wishing for better
luck this time around
And that I will strike
gold one day
Surely it is not too
much to ask
That my love be
returned in kind
I won’t give up the
search
I’ll keep looking and
see what I find
I just have to keep
believing
Keep the faith and I
will soon see
The next one that I can
love
And hope that they will love me
Why is it that when I think about you
I find myself inanely
grinning
Yet I get nothing back
from you
That would get my
giddy head spinning
I can’t go on getting
nothing back
I have wasted too much
time on you
I need to feel your
love, but I don’t
So, breaking up is the
only thing to do
Breaking up is hard to
do, so says the song
But that doesn’t apply
in this case
For when I tell that
our affair is over
No hint of emotion
shows on your face
I should perhaps have
realised
Your heart was not
there for the winning
But blinded by my love
I didn’t notice
You were indifferent
from the beginning
Why do you hold back?
Why can’t you go all
the way?
“I love you” those are
the words
That I want to hear you say
Don’t be half hearted
I need you one hundred
percent
I don’t want you to be
unsure
I want you to be content
You have to be sure
Content as I am in my
choice
But you are not are
you?
I can hear it in your
voice
You don’t feel the
same as I
I don’t make your
pulse race
Or your heart skip a
beat
I’m right; I can see
it on your face
Love isn’t a one-way street
It has to flow both
ways
But it isn’t flowing
to me
Not even on the best
of days
Then it’s over and
done
I won’t have half
measures
It has to be all or
nothing
Not just the pleasures
I need to be “the one”
I won’t be your second
best
I won’t invest my love
With no prospect of
interest
It’s sad when love
ends
And a couple have to
part
But I only feel regret
That I never reached
your heart
The coffee shop was quiet
Much quieter than last
week
When I last saw her,
Which was also the
first time
But in those seven
days
She has filled my
every thought
I have haunted the
coffee shop everyday
But I haven’t seen her
again
And today once more
There is no sign of
her
I should ask the
waitress
But what would I say
“Have you seen that
girl?
She was here a week
ago
The girl who was sat
there
In that easy chair
The girl with the
chestnut hair
In a pixie cut, have
you seen her”?
How ridiculous would
that sound?
She would think me mad
Or worse a stalker
Maybe if I told her
about her smile
A smile to brighten
the darkest day
Or those green eyes
Hypnotic and
mesmerising,
Or that soft velvet
laugh
But no I would just
sound creepy
So I order a coffee
instead
And sit in her corner
Drinking my coffee
While pondering my
insanity
“Do you mind if I join
you”?
A voice halted my
musings
It was her, my quarry
She was here and she was
speaking to me
“Absolutely, please
do”
I replied rather
pompously
“I love this corner”
she said
“I like to sit and
watch the world go by”
We exchanged a smile
But now she was
actually here
I was speechless and
my head was spinning
And I felt a little guilty
For stalking her like
prey
Then, in a soft easy
tone
She spoke again, which
put me at my ease
“Didn’t I see you in here
last week?”
