Monday 4 October 2021

SHADOW DWELLER

I have always been content

To live in the shadows

Avoiding the limelight

Keeping out of the sun

Living on the fringes of life

Bathing in the reflected glory of my peers

Living life vicariously

Keeping the world at arms length

And keeping a low profile

Laughing at other peoples jokes

Rejoicing in other peoples good fortune

Cheering on other peoples success

Crying at other peoples weddings

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride

Always the uncle, never the father

Always the friend, never the lover

And why not? no harm no foul

It’s safe wrapping yourself in Clingfilm

Living a sterile life, protected

Against the pain and hurt

That fills the world

And I was more than happy to do it

And I thought myself the better for it

But now I realise

I am incomplete

I have lived a half-life

Taking no risks

Not opening my shell

By not exposing myself to the dangers

I have denied myself the pleasures

Well, no more will I be content

I will no longer inhabit the shadows

No more will I view life from the fringes

I want to be blinded by the limelight

I want to walk in the sunlight

Before it’s too late to live a full life

IF ONLY YOU WERE HERE

 

If only you were here

So, I didn’t miss you

If only you were here

So, I could kiss you

If only I had been

Granted three wishes

Then I would wish you here

And cover you in kisses

Sunday 3 October 2021

Those Memories Made on Teardrop Lake – (94) For the Love of Anna

 

Rod McGregor was cold to his core as he hurried towards Shallowfield, it was three days before Christmas and 24 hours earlier he had been in Brisbane, which had been his home for the previous 24 years, where he worked as a conservationist for the Enoggera Forest Reserves, and it was his first time back in Downshire since he emigrated, and he never expected to see it again, in fact he had promised that he would never return.

But it was the person to whom he had made that promise, Anna Abbiss, who had summoned him back, so he couldn’t refuse.

Anna was the love of his life, and the only woman he had ever truly loved, and he loved her still, and she had loved him in equal measure, the only problem was that she was married, to his brother.

 

A two year affair between them resulted in her falling pregnant, Rod was sure that he was the father because Bob had mumps when he was in his teens and what Rod knew, and his brother didn’t was that such an affliction at that time at the age he was almost without exception resulted in rendering the recipient sterile.

However Bob was in blissful ignorance and because of his obvious delight at his impending fatherhood, Rod and Anna decided they should draw their affair to a close, but because they had tried previously and failed she said the only way was for him to leave, and he agreed, so he emigrated to Queensland.

Obviously because they were his family he couldn’t sever all contact but he maintained the distance although there had been close calls over the years when Bob would invite his brother to stay or would himself plan a trip to Australia, something always came up, something fabricated, to prevent it.

 

As he drove across the Vale he listened to the Radio and the weather forecast predicted a White Christmas and the artic winds were already blowing and had brought little flurries of hailstones and sleet throughout the day, but the slushy particles dissolved as they hit the ground.

However as he got closer to the Dancingdean Forest wet sleet turned to powdery snow, and the snowflakes floated and swirled through the air and formed a soft white carpet over the silent countryside and dusted the trees and turned the landscape into a magical wonderland.

He pulled up outside the Larkspur Hospice and took a few deep breaths before he got out of the car to steel himself for what was ahead.

He walked inside and the first person he saw was his brother Bob, who beamed a radiant smile at him as they approached each other and then they hugged

“Thanks for coming bro”

 

He stood by the door and looked into the room, and there she was, a pale imitation of what she had been, and beside her bed was a younger woman, clearly her daughter, their daughter, and she was the spitting image of Anna.

When she saw him she got up and walked towards him with tears in her eyes, because although they had never met she recognised him and exclaimed

“Uncle Rod!”
“Sweet Amy” he retorted

 

Because he was unable to cut the family ties he had managed to conduct relationships with his brother and his niece via email and maintained one with Anna vicariously.

What they hadn’t told him in their chatty email exchanges, at Anna’s request, was that Anna was battling breast cancer, but as each successive treatments failed and hope was finally replaced by palliative care, she had to see him one last time before she died. 

“How is she doing?” he asked

“It won’t be long now” Amy said and the tears welled up and she broke down, in her father’s arms.

“Go and sit with her” Bob suggested “The morphine has her but talk to her”

He sat beside her bed and held her hand and said

“I love you my Anna”

He felt her hand move in his and then her eyes slowly opened and a glimmer of recognition spread across her face and she licked her lips and retorted

“Hello my only love”

They held each other’s gaze for what seemed an eternity, but in reality it was only seconds before she closed her eyes and she was gone back beneath the morphine veil.

MIX AND MATCH

 

If only you could mix and match

To build the perfect girl

It would be great fun

I think I’ll give it a whirl

 

Bits may be out of proportion

She may look odd I guess

But she will only have eyes for me

And she will only answer yes

THE MOST PERFECT WOMAN

 

If I could make

The perfect wife

To keep with me

All of my life

 

If I was able to

Build the perfect one

I would chose Charlie’s legs

And Brenda’s bum

Laura’s breasts

And Eliza’s back 

Annie’s arms

And Connie’s neck

Jenny’s hands

And Sarah’s toes

Cassie’s ears

And Karen’s nose

Maureen’s mouth

And Stephanie’s grin

Doreen’s hair

And Patricia’s skin

Charlotte’s voice

And Debbie’s eyes

Joanne’s teeth

And Susan’s thighs

Emma’s grace

And Christine’s hips

Diane’s heart

And Penny’s lips

 

If this was something

That I could do

She would still not

Be as good as you

A WASTED LOVE

 

Do you know why,

Even after all these years,

When I close my eyes

It’s your face I see

Even after all these years

My thoughts are of you

My dreams are of you

Its because I still love you

And I am stuck

In this mind set

Of not being able to love another

While I’m still in love with you

It’s a wasted love

Because you moved on

When I could not

Your heart is cold to me

While mine still burns for you

I've known that for years

But I cannot break free

And when my eyelids close

You are there behind them

Saturday 2 October 2021

Those Memories Made on Teardrop Lake – (93) Day of Judgement

 

The fortunes of Shallowfield had always relied largely upon forestry and agriculture for its survival.

In the post war years with rationing and a shortage of work a lot of people moved away, to Abbottsford, Abbeyvale and beyond and it only barely survived, and the community around Teardrop Lake fared even worse.

Only a few of the houses around the Lake were thriving, a lot of the houses had been rented out and those that hadn’t been were in a poor state of repair, some too such an extent they were little more than ruins.

But by the 70s things were beginning to change, thanks mainly to tourism and an increase in leisure time.

More importantly these people had money in their pockets.

This trend was reflected by the fact that the derelict Shallowfield Lodge, which had been inherited by a young couple from Lincolnshire, Rob and Sheryl Brown, was being turned into a hotel.

Its completion formerly marked the rebirth of Teardrop Lake and the revival of the busy village of Shallowfield went hand in hand.

 

And the people around of Shallowfield prospered though not quite as well as widowed fifty something sisters Arianne Berbosa and Rose McGee who were both comfortably off and had no need to work.

But they weren’t lazy women so they filled their time doing voluntary work and generally helping out in the community.

But sometimes the help they provided was a little unorthodox such as the time they learned about an unsavoury character who lived in Shallowfield and who preyed on young unsuspecting girls.

 

This lothario was 30 year old solicitor David Lewis who used his younger half-sister Angela to befriend his target and give himself an icebreaker.

Angela was really uncomfortable doing it but David controlled her completely and she was at his mercy, and unable to get out from beneath his malevolent influence.

But that was all set to change when David aimed her in the direction of Arianne’s daughter Terri.

Theresa Berbosa had just graduated from Abbottsford University and was two years older than Angela, Terri was a tall and curvaceous red head and Angela was small and delicate with long raven black hair, and when they met at a fancy dress party, at the Lutchford’s home beside Teardrop Lake, they hit it off straight away and were inseparable for the three days before David made his move.

They were sitting at the bar in the Shallowfield Lodge Hotel on one Friday night when lounge lizard David sidled up to them

“Hello sis” he said and kissed Angela “Fancy finding you here”

“Yes fancy” she said coldly “This is my friend Terri”

Which was David’s cue to pour on the charm and ply her with drink while at the same time remaining sober himself leaving him in the perfect position to take advantage of her, he had a remarkable conversion rate due to his tactics but was not averse to spiking a girls drink to hurry things along, though Angela had no knowledge of that or she would definitely have stood up to him.

What he didn’t know was that Terri was a hardened drinker and was not going under the table to suit his timetable, but then out of the blue she said

“Why don’t you come back to mine? It’s only along the lane” 

“What a great idea” he said and to his sister he added “I’m sure you have other plans”

“Yes I do” she said

“What a shame” Terri gushed and gave her a long hug

 

Terri’s mum had a flat in Dancingdean House which was situated on the highest point on the cliffs above the Lake and commanded a magnificent view.

They walked along the perimeter road towards the building and as they stepped inside the flat Terri purred

“I like to dominate”

“Really?” he said “I don’t mind a bit of that”

“That’s good to hear” she said and kissed him and added

“Now get undressed”

He quickly complied and strutted arrogantly around the room showing off his physique.

“Oh very nice” Terri said as she walked towards him brandishing a pair of handcuffs in one hand and some silk rope in the other.

“Your turn” he said

“I’ll tell you when its time” she retorted “I told you I like to dominate, now sit on the chair, hands behind the back of the chair” She said and threaded the cuffs around the central strut of the chair back and snapped them on his wrists.

Then she tied his legs securely to the chair legs and when he was tightly trussed to the dining chair she kissed his forehead and walked behind him.

“I’m ready to watch you undress now” he called but there was no reply

 

David sat tied and handcuffed to the chair, periodically calling out and each call became increasingly more desperate,

“Come on it’s my turn to watch you undress now”

“That’s not going to happen I’m afraid” Arianne said

“You’re just going to have to make do with me and my sister”

“What?” he said with alarm “Who the hell are you?”

“I’m Arianne and this is my sister Rose”  

“What?” he barked “Where’s the young one?”

“She not here” Rose replied

“For God sake I wasn’t expecting to end up with some dried up old crones” he yelled

“I know, you were hoping to get your end away with my daughter” Arianne retorted

“Which was never going to happen” Arianne added “and furthermore she’s currently with your sister Angela”

“Don’t feel too bad” Rose added, “You were never going to get anywhere with Terri, because she butters her bread on the other side, and so does your sister”

“And now they’re buttering each other’s” Arianne said and they both laughed

“My sister is not a dyke” he shouted

“That’s enough of that kind of talk” Arianne chastised “Or I’ll have to take steps”

“Shut your mouth and let me out of here” he snapped “I’ll have you arrested, for false imprisonment, I’m a solicitor so I know the law”

Arianne said nothing but nodded to her sister, who was stood behind David’s chair, and at Arianne’s signal quickly and expertly applied a gag.

“That’s better” Arianne said “Now perhaps you’ll listen”

“We know very well that you’re a solicitor and I should hope you do know the law, but having said that, we have Terri on tape saying she liked to dominate and you agreeing to be tied up”

“As for letting you go, well we will but not yet, we’re going to keep you here while Terri helps Angela to move all her stuff out of your house, and a bit longer after that just to make sure she has a good head start on you to get to their destination”

He then growled and muttered behind his gag.

“Its ok don’t fret” Rose said “You won’t be bored we have some entertainment lined up”

 

The wrong side of fifty the sisters may have been but they kept their bodies in very good order and they were dressed in very smart outfits by the time the doorbell rang for the first time and when the sisters returned from opening the door they were accompanied by a group of young women and Arianne and Rose were wearing wicked grins.

“Well I can tell by your face that no introductions are required” Arianne said and the doorbell rang again “Ah that will be more of your victims”

 

By the time the last of his assault victims had arrived and been introduced to him Angela was just loading the last box into Terri’s car.  

“Well that’s that” she said and went back up the path and posted the keys through the letter box

“No going back” she added defiantly before walking up to Terri and kissing her.

 

When Arianne and Rose released his bonds and cuffs he got up and rushed towards the door beneath the full judgemental glare of his victims and to the sound of jeering catcalls as he left the flat and descended the stairwell clutching his clothes to his humiliated naked form and as he walked gingerly across the gravelled drive to his car Terri and Angela had arrived at their destination in Sharpington where they were starting their life together.