Uncanny Love Tales – (11) Serendipitous

 

I drove into the small staff car park and saw that there was only one empty space left so I headed towards it and parked the car.

After switching off the engine I reached down into the foot well to retrieve my book, which had fallen off the seat and I detected in my peripheral vision someone heading in my direction, and he was a small smartly dressed man, casual smart rather than business smart.

When he reached the car he thrust his head through the open window and said abruptly.

“Can I help?” in a very aggressive and unhelpful tone.

“No, you’re ok” I replied as I returned to the upright position

“Which company do you work for?” he demanded

“What in this complex?” I asked

“Yes” he barked

“I don’t work for any of them” I retorted

“Well you’re on private property” he said

“Yes I understand that” I agreed

“Then you can’t park here” he said still in an aggressive tone, so I took a deep breath and explained calmly

“I don’t work here, but my wife does and I’m picking her up”

“Well there’s no need to be aggressive” he snapped brusquely

“I’m not being aggressive, I’m just being honest, you’re the one who’s being aggressive getting in my face and throwing your weight about” I pointed out

“You’re being aggressive” he repeated

“Look, my wife works here and I’m picking her up, end of story” I said dismissively and opened my book and turned my full attention to it as he walked off muttering something northern.

“Unbelievable” I think he said but I couldn’t make out anything else, he was very northern after all.

Of course when I said I was picking up my wife that wasn’t strictly true, Elaine was my ex-wife but he didn’t need to know that, and I was disinclined to share.

Elaine and I had divorced the year before but it was a completely amicable split as after eight years of marriage we both realised it wasn’t really working.

In fact we carried on living under the same roof for nine months until we sold the house and it wasn’t really very different to when we were married, and it really should have been if we belonged together as a couple, so we knew we had made the right decision.

So despite the divorce we were still very good friends which was why I was still picking her up from work.

 

A few minutes after the pompous northern git went away muttering, Elaine arrived down the steps behind me, though I didn’t relay the tale to her, other than to say I had been quizzed about parking there, and that would probably have been the end of it had it not been for the fact that the ridiculous little man, who it transpired was the de facto landlord, had made a complaint to the Facilities Manager, of the company my wife worked for.

 

It was very embarrassing for Elaine when she was summoned before Suzy Ford, the Facilities Manager, to be told that her husband had verbally abused the landlord, or at least his representative.

“Ex-husband” she interjected

“What?” Ms Ford retorted

“He’s my ex-husband” Elaine explained

“But he still picks you up from work?” Suzy queried

“Yes” she replied

“Is he still carrying a torch?” The FM asked

“No” Elaine replied “he’s just a good man”

“I wish mine was” Suzy confided “the bastard”

“Ah” Elaine responded

“Anyway Mr Connolly has alleged your ex-husband was aggressive and abusive” Suzy continued “Shouting and swearing at him”

“Nonsense” Elaine said

“Excuse me?” replied the FM

“Dave has never raised his voice in anger to anyone in his life and as for swearing that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard”

 

After the meeting Elaine phoned me and she was not a happy bunny.

She told me that Ian Connolly had accused me of shouting at him and swearing at him and I was banned from picking her up in that car park in future.

To say that I was incandescent with anger when I found out would have been an understatement.

“I promise you that not once did I swear at him or even raise my voice.

I may not have paid him the due deference that he was clearly expecting but that was all, in fact if anything he was the aggressor”

“It’s alright I’m not mad at you, but I had to find out your side of the story”

When she relayed my version of events to Ms Ford, the FM said

“I have heard that about him from other sources, but unfortunately we have to obey the landlord’s instructions”

I didn’t mind not being able to pick her up there that was a minor inconvenience however lying was something I could not abide, nor was it something I would forget.

However every cloud has a silver lining because the road I was forced to use to pick Elaine up from was in fact better for her than the car park, as it was nearer the entrance she used to come out of in the evening.

 

One evening, about a week and a half after I started parking in Church Hill Road I was sitting in the car when a little blue Renault Clio began reversing into the space behind me and hit my car, well nudged it really, but the girl driving the Clio immediately jumped out and ran around to my side of the car and was absolutely horrified at what she had done, not that I thought she had really done anything, but at her urging I got out of the car for an inspection.

She had jet black curly hair and was in her mid to late twenties, attractive if not beautiful and she was wearing a tailored business suit.

Also I noticed she had really nice legs and was very curvy, I like curvy, but that wasn’t what I was meant to inspect, so I looked at both bumpers and save for a scuff there was no damage.

“I’m so sorry” she said very flustered

“There’s no harm done” I replied

“Let me give you my details” She said reaching over from the driver’s side and rummaging in the glove box.    

“There really is no need” I said admiring the roundness of her buttocks as her movement tightened the fabric of her skirt.

Once she had found what she was looking for she began scribbling something and then said

“Here you are”

As she handed me a business card with her insurance details written on the back and assuming that she hadn’t written on the back of someone else’s card, her name was Laura Grew.

“There’s no damage” I said “Honestly”

“We have to do things properly” she insisted

“Do you have many accidents?” I asked already knowing the answer

“No” She said “This is my first”

“I thought so” I said “and actually this doesn’t really count so you still have a perfect record”

She seemed to calm down once I had accepted her details and then she completed her manoeuvre, locked the car and walked off down the road managing to apologize once more before she walked off, and what a walk it was, but just as I was getting an eyeful my mobile rang, it was Elaine

“Hi” I said

“Hey Dave” she replied “I’m running late”

“No problem” I responded “how long?”

“About an hour” she replied “But you don’t need to wait, I’ll get a cab”

“No problem, I’ve got no plans” I said “I’ll meet you in the Choristers Arms”

“Brilliant” she said “You’re a star”

 

Once inside the “Choristers” I got myself a drink and sat in a relatively quiet corner and then opened my book and I had only read about four pages when I heard

“Oh hello again”

So I looked up and saw it was my vehicular assailant.

“Hello Laura” I said

“I just wanted to apologize again” she said

“There really is no need” I replied “but you can buy me a drink”

Which really meant please stay and have a drink with me.

“It’s a deal” she said “and I’ll join you if that’s ok, as long as I’m not imposing?”

“Not at all” I said

As she turned and walked to the bar I had another opportunity to admire her generous curvy form with her buttocks rolling and reshaping within her skirt with every step.

“Very nice” I said under my breath and I continued to watch and admire all the while she was at the bar and when she had got the drinks I watched her again as she walked back towards me and I was mesmerised by what I saw.

When she got to the table she leant forward and put a drink in front of me although I only had eyes for the front of her, she caught me looking and smiled and then sat down.

“Are you meeting someone?” she asked

“Yes I’m waiting for my ex-wife” I replied and she looked confused, so I explained at length the arrangement Elaine and I had and Laura looked less confused. 

“What about you?” I asked

“Well I was supposed to be meeting my sister but she’s still at Waterloo” Laura said

“So you are doing me a favour keeping me company until her train gets in”

“I feel so used” I said feigning hurt

“Very funny” she said

“So what were your plans with your sister?” I asked

“Pictures” Laura replied

“Oh yes” I said “Bruce Willis or Keira Knightley?”

“Knightley, I’m afraid” she replied “Helen’s choice”

“Well I fancy the other one myself” I said “Perhaps…”

“I’d love to” she interrupted

“Great” I said “It’s only on until Saturday”

“Saturday it is then” she said just as her phone rang.

She stood up to answer it and stepped outside to get better reception.

“That was my sister” she said when she came back “I have to go”

“Well I’ll see you Saturday then, shall we meet here?” I said

“Yes” she said “7.30”

“Ok” I replied

“Thanks again for being so understanding” Laura said

“Wait a minute is that how you get all your dates?” I asked

“Pretty much” Laura replied “Bye”

Then I feasted my eyes on her again as she walked away.

“Who was that?” Elaine said

“Just someone I bumped into” I replied

“It looks as though you wouldn’t mind bumping into her again” she said

“Funny you should say that, I’m seeing her on Saturday” I said proudly

“Good for you” Elaine said and meant it

“I’m sorry I’m so late, it’s been a pig of a day”

“That’s ok” I assured her “Do you fancy a drink?”

“Oh yes please” she said “as long as I’m not holding you up”

“I wouldn’t have offered if it was a problem” I insisted “as I said I don’t have any plans tonight”

I went and got her a large white wine and myself a coke and returned to the table

“What about you?” I asked

“What?” she said

“Plans for tonight” I explained

“No nothing” she said

“Why don’t we eat then” I suggested “the foods pretty good in here”

“That would be really nice, Dave”

 

So we ordered from the bar and spent a couple of hours on a proper catch up.

When we split up even though it was amicable and we remained friends ourselves, some of our friends felt it there duty to take sides.

So it was about the people we as the enemy had lost touch with that filled most of the conversation, then we moved on to more personal stuff.

Elaine had been reluctant to tell me but she had been seeing someone for a couple of months, his name was Peter and she met him at work.

“That’s brilliant Elaine, I’m really pleased for you” I said “but why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I don’t know really” she said “it seemed a bit insensitive”

“Well for future reference you can tell me anything” I said

“But you haven’t told me” she said in her defence

“There hasn’t been anything to tell” I said “I’ve been on a couple of disastrous blind dates and that’s all”

“Until today” she added

“Yes until today” I concurred and smiled

 

I dropped her off about 9.30

“Thanks Dave” Elaine said “Enjoy your date on Saturday”

“I will” I replied and drove the short distance home.

 

On Saturday I sat at the same table I had occupied a few days earlier which gave me a good view of the door but I still missed her when she came in, I had been watching out for a hot girl in a business suit and black tights.

“Are you looking for me?” a voice said and when I looked up it was Laura.

“Oh hi” I said “I didn’t recognise you”

She was wearing tailored trousers a shimmering top and a short tunic.

“Wow you look great” I said

“Thank you” she said and actually blushed, I thought to myself then that Laura Grew was a keeper.

I suggested eating somewhere afterwards so we decided to catch the earlier performance so we didn’t have time for a drink.

I let Laura go through the door first, not because I’m a gentleman but rather because I wanted to see what her bum looked like in those trousers, and I was not disappointed.

 

The film was average, the meal was better but the company was sublime and as first dates go it was the best for me by far.

It ended with a goodnight kiss by her car and the securing of another date, the following Saturday.

I have always found that Second dates are always trickier, because there is an expectation which is not present on a first date and all week I was worried about it, but when Saturday came all my fears and apprehensions melted away when I saw her and by the end of the night I thought it had even surpassed our first date.

It again ended by her car, this time with a more prolonged kiss.

“Next Saturday?” I said hopefully

“Yes” she said coyly “if you can wait that long” 

“And if I can’t?” I asked

“You can come to a BBQ with me tomorrow” she said

“You can pick me up” she said “I’ll text you my address”

 

I picked Laura up as instructed and on the journey she filled me in on the family politics of which there wasn’t much to report other than the fact her and her sister hated their stepfather Ian.

“He’s a pompous, obnoxious, unpleasant little man who isn’t even nice to mum” She ranted

The BBQ was to celebrate their mum’s birthday which was the only reason she and her sister were going.

Eleanor had only been married to Ian for two years but he had managed to alienate everyone who was important in Eleanor’s life and Laura and Helen were very unhappy about it.

However for their mums sake they always bit their tongues so as not to upset there mum and that Sunday was no exception they wouldn’t do or say anything to spoil mums birthday.

I parked the car outside the house as indicated by Laura.

“Deep breath, big smile” she said and I gave her hand a squeeze.

“Give me a kiss for good luck” she said and I obliged

 

We were just about to go through the side gate when there was a call from behind.

“Wait for us” and I turned around and saw a carbon copy of Laura jogging towards us.

“Hey Helen” Laura said and they kissed and then introductions followed before we proceeded through the gate.

There were a small group of people milling about on the patio, another group on the lawn and a lone man attending to the BBQ.

While I was looking around there was some sudden squealing on the patio from which I deduced the sisters had located their mum.

Neither Helen’s boyfriend Ray nor I had met the family before so we hung back until the hullaballoo subsided.

When it had we were summoned by our respective girlfriends to be presented.

“I’m pleased to meet you” I said shaking Eleanor’s hand

“Likewise” she said “I’ve heard a lot about you”

“The sausages are ready?” the man called from the BBQ

“And that is my husband” Eleanor said and waved a despairing hand in his direction.

I turned around to say hello just as he did the same.

“Oh” I exclaimed “we’ve already met”

It was Ian Connolly the lying sack of shit who had accused me of swearing at him and my new girlfriend Laura Grew was the pompous gits step daughter.

“I suppose you’re going to verbally abuse me again” he said

“I didn’t verbally abuse you the last time” I replied

“What did you do?” Eleanor asked her husband

“Oh trust you to take their side” he said 

“My apologies Eleanor but I think I need to go” I said

“That’s it run away” Ian called after me

“Oh do shut up Ian” Laura said

“As for you, how dare you turn up on your mother’s birthday with a married man you little Trollope” He said venomously

“That’s enough Ian” Eleanor said

“He’s not married you pompous arse” Laura shouted “he’s divorced”

“Oh really is that what he told you?” Ian said with distain

“Then answer me this, what kind of man still drives his ex-wife around?”

“A better man than you obviously” Laura said

“That’s enough you selfish little cow” he said “You’re ruining your mother’s birthday”

“No you’re ruining my birthday” Eleanor said

“What do you mean?” Ian snapped “I’m just trying to do something special for your birthday”

“The most special thing you could do for me would be to get out”

Eleanor said

“What?” he said aghast

“I want you to leave” she reiterated

“If I go then I won’t be coming back” he threatened

“Good” she said almost spitting the word at him

Ian went a very funny shade of purple and a vein in his temple started to throb, I thought his head might explode but it didn’t and he turned on his heels and went in the house.

Helen and Laura ran immediately to hug their mum and they stood in a scrum on the patio and there were a few tears.

They may have stayed there longer but the huddle broke when Ian came back out of the house carrying a small bag and his jacket, then without speaking he left through the side gate followed by a few of the guests, clearly more his friends than hers.

“Now the party can really start” Eleanor said

There was another brief hug fest from the Grew women and then Eleanor said

“Dave, can you take charge of the BBQ?”

“Leave it to me” I said

Laura stopped me before I got there

“Thank you honey” she said and kissed me very provocatively

 

After an excess of alcohol I ended up staying the night, albeit on an uncomfortable sofa.

There was a good deal of talk about Ian Connolly as the alcohol flowed and

I was amazed to find out what a mean spirited man he really was, he wouldn’t even allow his step daughters to park in the office car parks.

It was apparent that Ian Connolly was a bitter unfulfilled little man who made everyone’s life an absolute misery, but that said I would be forever grateful to him because had her stepfather not been such an arse I would never have met her, or fallen in love with her, so it was extremely serendipitous.