Snippets of Downshire Life – On Account of the Gardener

 

In the small but thriving English county of Downshire people go about the tasks of their everyday existence in ways that range from the mundane to the extraordinary as their forebears had done for centuries before, in the varied and diverse landscape, from the Ancient forests of Dancingdean and Pepperstock, the craggy ridges and manmade lakes of the Pepperstock Hills National Park, the rolling hills of the Downshire Downs, to the beautiful Finchbottom Vale and the short but beautiful coastline to the east.

But our story is set in and around Turnoak-Under-Hawthorne, a large rambling village, originally settled in the 12^th century on the sparsely wooded slopes on the Northern fringe of the Finchbottom Vale about 5 miles from Purplemere, and it was everything you would expect from a Downshire Village and William Hunter had lived there all his life.

He had spent a week confined to the house as his accountant had been pressurizing him to provide him with all his bills and receipts, so he could submit William’s annual accounts at the end of the tax year.

His business was very successful, and he worked hard, but he was a bit of a scatterbrain and he wasn’t brilliant with the paperwork, and he subsequently always left it to the last minute, so when he got the call from the accountant, it always led to a long drawn out and onerous chore.    

When he had finally finished, four days later, and sent everything to his accountant he thought it was time to end his self-imposed exile, and when he opened his back door he discovered he had timed it to perfection, because when he stepped out into the sunlight he found his gardener, Vikki Hynds, working up a sweat cutting the grass, and she always got his pulse racing, even before she stopped to empty the grass box and bent over in front of him.

But it wasn’t just a physical attraction, he really liked her, but he never did anything about it because he thought she was way out of his league, in every conceivable way.

She stood up from her task and turned towards him and smiled.

“So, you’re not dead then” she said

“No rumors’ of my demise have been greatly exaggerated” he paraphrased.

“So, what have you been up to?” she asked

“End of year accounts” he replied, and at that moment her new apprentice, Daisy, appeared wearing similar work boots and dungarees to Vikki, and was carrying some empty heavy-duty sacks.

“Hello Mr. Hunter” she shouted

“Hi Daisy” William shouted back, then in a lower voice he said to Vikki

“How’s she doing?” and nodding in Daisy’s direction

“Excellently” Vikki replied beaming

“She’s a quick learner, hardworking, eager and reliable”

“Really?”

“I couldn’t ask for better, and she’s a real sweetie” she said “She’s the best one I’ve ever had”

 

He left them to their toil in the soil and made his way into the village to replenish all the essentials he had run out of, and after stocking up at Stephenson’s Supermarket he returned home with his bags of shopping and was looking forward to feasting his eyes on his lovely gardener again, but as he reached the corner his heart sank as he saw Vikki’s van driving away up the road.

 

When William got home and let himself in he went straight to the kitchen, unpacked the bags and started to put everything away, but then he became aware of noises in the house, and he feared that he had an intruder, so he picked up a rolling pin and went to investigate, cautiously.

As he left the kitchen and the sounds became louder he realized they were coming from the conservatory, but when he got there he found that he didn’t need the weapon because he discovered that the intruder was actually Vikki Hynds, and his discovery caused him to stop in his tracks and made his chin hit the floor.

Because she was attending to the many and varied pot plants in the conservatory, but it wasn’t that alone that left him gob smacked, it was the fact that Vikki was going about her task wearing only her work boots, gardening gloves and a smile, while hiding her assets behind a watering can and a potted geranium.

“So, I see I finally have your full and undivided attention” she said “But you’re not going to need a rolling pin for what I have in mind”