Friday, 30 April 2021

I COULD NOT WEEP

 

I could not weep

As I sat at his side

His hand once as strong as atlas

Now to weak to grip

Weak like a babe

More so

 

I could not weep

As I watched the frown

Furrowing his weathered face

Grey, expressionless

And as his frown faded,

As the morphine takes control

 

I could not weep

As he lays motionless,

Breath shallow

Silent, almost

But for the occasional groan

Beneath the morphine

 

I could not weep

At his deathbed

As the monster within

Crept through his organs

Hastening the end

For him and for itself

 

I could not weep

As his muscles relaxed

And the pain was no more

As he exhaled his last

And his soul passed

When he was at peace

 

I could not weep

Not because it wasn’t macho

Nor for lack of love

It was perhaps numbness

Or a need to be strong

For family, others

 

I could not weep

Not when he was diagnosed

Nor when he released his grip on life

Not even at his funeral

I could not weep

When my father died

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