I found
myself stranded in a strange town
With less
than a week to go before Christmas
Stranded
two hundred miles from home
With a
seriously ill car in the garage
And a lack
of will to contemplate train travel
In truth I
was in no hurry to return home
To the empty
soulless house that once was home
But now
held no comfort for me
My wife of
twenty five years had died a year before
Finally
loosing her battle with cancer
And my
children were all grown up now
With homes
and families of their own
The house
would be full at Christmas
Full of
noise and hustle and bustle,
And the
usual mix of love, laughter and tears
But for now
it was cold and empty
So I booked
into a hotel for the weekend
And I would
drive home on Monday
So finding
myself in a strange town
Just a few
days before Christmas
And with
more than a little time to kill
I decided I
could fill part of my day
By doing some
last minute Christmas shopping
As I
stepped out of the Hotel I shivered
The day was
cold, grey and damp
And clouds
scudded across the December sky
It was the
kind of day that chilled you to the bone
I made my
way towards the high street
It was only
a five minute walk
The receptionist
assured me with a smile
As she
jotted down some brief directions
In an
effort to warm myself up
I walked
briskly following her directions
Down the
narrow almost Dickensian lanes and ally ways
Passing
picturesque Victorian and Tudor buildings, well mock Tudor
As I went
and it was indeed five minutes when I emerged
Onto the
busy cobbled pedestrianised high street
It was a
curious mixture of ancient and modern
At one end
of the street a Norman church was visible
And at the
other was what appeared to be a municipal building
With rather
pretentious Georgian columns
There was
still evidence of a row of Edwardian shop fronts
But much of
the street was modern
With a
little too much sixties influence to be easy on the eye
The street
was criss-crossed along the full length
With
festive lights and decorations
Which did
there best to brighten the scene
I decided
to familiarize my self with what the town had to offer
In the way
of shops so I turned left and joined the throng of shoppers
Faces
gloomy to match the weather
And headed
towards the Georgian pillared building
This turned
out to be the public library
As I dodged
between the Christmas Lemmings
I made a
mental note of shops I would return to
My progress
was hampered by erratic shoppers
Who moved it
appeared independently to any logic
Some seemed
to zigzag everywhere and very few possessed
The ability
to walk in a straight line for more than a few paces
And others
would take a few steps then stop for no apparent reason
Then after a
few moments pause carry on normally in the same direction
The sound
of cheery Christmas songs and carols
Could be
heard from every shop I passed
Though the
cheeriness of the music
Was clearly
not reflected on the faces
Of the
shoppers going in and out of them
As I passed
one shop Noddy Holder screamed “it’s Christmas”
Just in
case any of the reluctant shoppers were in any doubt
When I
reached the other end of the high street
Where the
church stood there was a little square
Which I
wasn’t able to see before
In the
centre of which was the war memorial
And to its
left was a magnificent Christmas tree
Covered in
baubles and adorned by a beautiful angel
Assembled
around the tree was the Salvation Army band
I took a
few moments to admire the tree and listen to the band
And I was
taken back to a distant time and place
The clock
chimed and I was brought back to the present
I took a
few more moments while I decided on my first port of call
Not
realizing just how important a decision it was
I decided
on Woolworths, always a favorite of mine at Christmas
But it also
happened to be the closest
So I walked
towards the store and pushed open the door
As I entered
I paused to hold the door open for a woman coming the other way
I waited as
she put her purse away into a huge handbag
And I
wondered what I would get for my trouble
I had found
the older I got the less women appreciated courtesy
The simple
act of holding open a door could provoke a range of responses
A smile, a
thank you, a nod, a sneer, a tut or a colorful mouth full of abuse
And you
couldn’t always tell who was going to do what
When she
had finished fiddling and securing her bag
She moved
to step through the open door
As she
passed me she looked up said “Thank you” and smiled broadly
And then
she stopped as I returned her smile and then I just stood there
Both of us
stood motionless as slowly the recognition set in
We both
stood there dumbstruck not believing our eyes
I’m not
sure how long for but long enough for a queue to form behind each of us
We both blushed
and excused ourselves
And stepped
out onto the street away from the door
Neither of
us knew what to say I couldn’t believe it was Linda
Who I last
saw 30 years before being driven off in a taxi
Disappearing
off through the snow
With her
palm pressed against the glass her neck craned to keep sight of me
And here
she stood before me as beautiful as ever she was
The soft
curls of her brown hair still danced on her shoulders
Yet with
fine strands of silver threaded thru it
Her smile
was still able to melt my heart even after all those years
Her smiling
eyes still had the same sparkle
The years
had been kind to her and too me much less so
I was still
fumbling for the words to say as I studied her
When she
reached up and hugged my neck
Kissing my
cheek at the same time
And spoke
softly in my ear “Paul, Is it really you?”
I simply
said yes and we stood in that long comfortable embrace
I don’t
know how long we stood there not wanting to let go
Then as she
relaxed her grip and I kissed her forehead
“It’s so
good too see you” I said feebly
She put her
head on my chest, squeezed me and sighed
Then
released her grip and pulled away slightly
And put her
hand up to my cheek and caressed my grey beard
“Do you
have time for coffee”? She said almost pleadingly
I said of course
and she put her arm through mine and led me across the high street
Asking
quick fire questions as we went
And I
explained about my car breaking down
And that I
was staying at the Cromwell hotel
She said
“oh really” and “oh dear” delighting in my misfortune
We sat on a
large comfortable sofa in Starbucks
And told
the tales of our lives spent apart
Throughout
I looked at her with adoring eyes
Pinching
myself expecting to awake from a dream
As I had
done so very may times before
I told her
about my wife and children
She told me
of her marriage and subsequent divorce
The good
man I gave her up for turned out to be a violent drunk
She had no
children which although unsaid was clearly a regret
With the
aid of several cups of coffee we managed to talk away the entire morning
I suggested
we might spend the day together
And have
dinner together at the hotel
She
accepted the invitation to dinner with a delightful smile
Then she
looked at her watch and suddenly jumped up
“Look at
the time, I have to go” she flustered
She said
she had a prior commitment
“Lunch with
mum” she said rather unconvincingly
She said it
was something she couldn’t get out of
As I helped
her back into her coat the smell of her hair
Evoked
memories of our past embraces
She fished
out her mobile phone as we left the coffee shop
From her
huge handbag and we exchanged phone numbers
And we
firmed up the details for the evening
Then with a
hug and a kiss she was off
I stood and
watched her walk away her coat tails swishing behind her
She stopped
briefly and turned to give me a smile and a wave
Then with
the phone to her ear she hurried off again talking animatedly
I stood
watching until she disappeared from sight
Then I went
back to my Christmas shopping
And treated
myself to a new shirt for the evening
I bought
the gifts I was looking for and paper, tags, cards etc
And with
all my shopping complete I returned to the hotel for lunch
The rest of
the day seemed intolerably long
In an
effort to kill some time I went for a swim
Used the
gym, went for a walk
I got a
haircut even though I didn’t need one
I even
wrapped the Christmas presents I had bought
But the
time passed so interminably slowly
I walked
into the hotel bar at 7 o’clock an hour early
Partly for
some Dutch courage and in part because I had run out of things to do
I ordered a
drink and then sat at the bar
Even though
I wasn’t expecting her until eight
Every time
the door opened I turned to look for her
And when it
wasn’t her self doubt crept in
And with
every false alarm the doubts got worse
What if she
doesn’t come?
What if she
changed her mind?
What if she
never intended to come?
What if?
What if? What if?
Then at a
quarter to the hour the door opened and there she was
There she
stood wearing a simple black knee length dress
Black tights
or stockings and four-inch stiletto shoes
Her legs as
shapely as I remembered them
And in one
hand she held a black leather clutch bag
Her face
looked a little anxious until I stood up
And then it
lit up in the most radiant smile
Then she
walked towards me
Almost
tottering on her heels and she laughed
I took her
hand as she climbed onto a stool
And kissed
her cheek the fragrance of her perfume was intoxicating
Going
straight to my head like a strong spirit
The
combination of her scent and my desire for her almost made me swoon
I ordered
her a drink and we nervously made small talk
Like two
strangers on a blind date
Until the
waitress led us through to the restaurant
Once we
were seated at our table
I asked her
how her lunch with mum went
And she
blushed the deepest red
She told me
the lunch date was a little white lie
Because she
needed the afternoon to get ready
And the
animated phone call was to her sister
To rally
the troops to get her presentable
We both
laughed and any awkwardness was gone
We talked
with such an easy familiarity
As if her
departing taxi had only been a week ago
By the time
we had finished our coffee the restaurant was empty
Except for
us and a weary waitress waiting to clear our table
The evening
seemed to have passed in the blink of an eye
And had all
too soon come to an end
We got up
and made our apologies
Linda went
through the door to the ladies and I settled the bill
I said good
night and had made my apologies again
Then went
in search of Linda through the same door she had used
I found her
standing by the Christmas tree
She had
retrieved her coat and scarf from the cloakroom
Which were
draped over one arm her bag was in her hand
Linda stood
with her back to me gazing out of the window
She could
see my reflection in the glass and smiled
I gasped at
the beauty of her and pinched myself again
I wanted to
kiss her so much but I was afraid
Afraid to
break the magic of that special kiss
That
perfect moment when we kissed in the snow
All those
years ago when I let her slip from my grasp
For 30
years I had revered that moment
Relived it
whenever I felt a snowflake on my skin
Or stood in
a taxi queue on a winters night
Or when I
hear the Salvation Army play
Or when the
snow falls during Christmas time
For 30
years I had wanted to be back there holding her in the snow
And here I
stood a few steps away and I was hesitant
As if
sensing my turmoil she turned away from the window
And I took
those few steps to face her
We stood
for a few moments just looking at each other
Then she
smiled her most heart melting smile
As she
caressed my cheek then she pulled me to her
And kissed
me gently on the lips, a tender and sensitive kiss
When our
lips met electricity ran down my spine
And it was
as if we were young again
Our lips parted
for a second then met again
And her
kiss became more intense, more passionate
Her coat,
scarf and bag fell to the floor as our arms enveloped each other
We stood
locked in our passionate embrace as the tree lights twinkled
Then she
pulled away for a moment before burying her face in my neck
And spoke
softly in my ear “you see that was as good as the first time”
How could I
have doubted it would not be perfect?
I slid my
fingers beneath her hair caressing her nape
And gently
turned her head so I could kiss her sweet lips again
This time
when we disengaged, she put her head on my chest
Still
holding on to me so tightly
I kissed
the top of her head and smelled her hair
I didn’t
want to let her go, and then I said “please stay”
“I can’t
watch you disappear from my life in another taxi”
She lifted
her head and looked at me and said
“I’m not
letting you go again, not now not ever”
Then she
smiled at me coyly and blushed like a virgin
And buried
her face in my chest again
Then she
scooped up her coat, scarf and bag from the floor
Took my
hand and we walked in silence to my room
Outside the
room she looked into my eyes and kissed my mouth
Then I
opened the door and let her walk inside
She dropped
her coat and bag onto a chair and turned to face me
Reached up
and wrapped her arms around my neck
And
whispered in my ear “I never stopped loving you”
My arms
enfolded her and pulled her to me tightly
Then we
kissed at first soft and tender then more urgently
And I began
to un-wrap my most special Christmas gift
Wrapped in
lace and silk instead of paper and ribbon
Caressing
her body from neck to Lacy stocking top
And our
love was at last made absolute
When our
act of love was complete and our dreams realized
We lay
holding each other in the afterglow
Silently
content until we drifted off to sleep
I awoke to
find her stood silhouetted against the window
Gazing out
wearing my shirt to cover her nakedness
She turned
her head to me and said “it’s snowing”
I slipped
out of bed joined her at the window
Standing
behind her and enveloping her in my arms
We watched
as the snow settled on the courtyard
She hugged
my arms and said “How perfect is that”?
Both of us
thinking back to the last time we enjoyed the snowfall together
We stood
for a few minutes taking in the snowy scene
Then she
inclined her head so I could kiss her
When my
hands moved from her soft belly and cupped her breasts
She led me
back to the bed and we made love again
I woke
early and lay in the half light and held Linda’s sleeping form in my arms
As I lay
there I thought how good the fates had been to us
If my car
hadn’t broken down, and had I not rejected the idea of taking the train
I would not
have been shopping on that cold grey morning
I thought
about the moments I spent admiring that tree in the square
And
listening to the Salvation Army band
And what
thought processes made me do what I did
Was it
destiny that I chose Woolworths at that very moment or just blind luck?
All I knew
was that 24 hours before my life had been so empty
And now it
was full and I was finally with my soul mate
Linda was
in my life at last and I wanted her never to leave it again
But if fate
decreed that this one special night
Was all we
could have I would have to be content
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