WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY (1)

 

Who’s in love?

What’s love got to do with it?

When I fall in love

Where is the love?

Why do fools fall in love?

Snippets of Downshire Life – Guilty Feelings

Highfinch, which nestled on the edge of the Pepperstock Hills, was where the Lily Green Hollows Golf Club separated the village from the Hamlet of Lily Green, and the combination of those two and Kingfisherbridge made up the parish of St Martins, and between Lily Green and the sleepy hamlet of Kingfisherbridge was where divorcee Karen Dillon lived with her daughter Melinda and brother Daniel Mason.

Daniel was a pig man and worked up at Orchard Farm in the wooded Pepperstock Hills and it was there, when he was walking in the hills that he met and fell in love with Meredith Upshaw from the neighbouring Russet Hill Egg Farm.

This made Karen immensely pleased and incredibly jealous in equal measure and that made her feel guilty because she loved her brother and really liked Meredith.

Of course she may have felt differently if she had known that things were about to change for her.

It happened when the Upshaw family threw a dinner party up at the farm to celebrate Meredith and Daniel’s engagement.

It was a big affair with more than twenty seated around a huge table beneath the canvas of a marquee in the meadow beside the orchard. 

Four generation of Upshaw’s were present and three on the Mason side.

Karen’s daughter Melinda was having a fun day, dividing her time between playing with her peers among the Upshaw’s and being spoilt rotten by her grandparents.

In fact everyone at the meal appeared to be enjoying themselves including Karen, although in her case she was merely putting on a brave face, and when they reached the teas and coffee stage of the proceedings, she slipped quietly out of the marquee for some respite from the jollity and then wandered into the fragrant orchard, and as soon as she was out of sight she leant against a tree and cried.

 

Karen may have slipped quietly away from the fun but her departure did not go entirely unnoticed, as Meredith’s cousin Tom saw her, and the reason for that was he had barely taken his eyes off her all day.

They had been introduced just after she and Melinda arrived and as   his daughter Cassie was of a similar age to hers they spent half an hour or so in conversation, and the only reason they stopped then was because they were instructed to take their seats, and the seating plan had them placed at opposite ends of the table.

When he saw her leave the marquee, and it was clear by the direction she took that she wasn’t off to use the facilities, he got up himself and headed in the same direction, and he emerged into the sunlight just in time to see her enter the orchard, so he followed.    

When he caught up with her she was leaning against a tree and as he closed the distance between them he noticed that her shoulders were shaking.

“Are you ok?” Tom asked

“No” she sobbed

“Why?” he asked “what’s wrong?”

“I’m a terrible person” she replied

“I find that hard to believe” Tom said brightly and put a hand on her shoulders and in response to his touch she leant into him.

“It’s true”

“You’d better explain then” he urged and tried to turn her to face him.

“No don’t look at me” she snapped

“Ok but you still need to explain”

“I love my brother, I really do and I’m so pleased that he and Meredith are going to get married, she is so lovely and they really are perfect together” she said

“But?” he asked

“I’m jealous” she admitted “I’m jealous of his happiness, God I’m so despicable”

“No you’re not” he said and tried to turn her again and this time she yielded and buried her face in his chest

“You just want to be happy too, that’s perfectly natural” he assured her

“It’s not natural to be jealous though is it?” she retorted 

“Did you ever wish that they weren’t so happy?” he asked

“No, not for a second” she snapped “They deserve to be happy”

“So why do you feel so guilty?” he asked

“I don’t know, but I still feel guilty” Karen said “I always feel guilty because of my jealous thoughts”,

“Well you’re not the only one who felt jealous today” he confessed

“There’s someone else?” she asked “Who?”

“Me”

“Why were you jealous?” she asked and lifted her face from his chest for the first time to look at him “Who were you jealous of?”

“The people sitting either side of you” he replied and she gasped

 

When Tom and Karen emerged from the orchard, all evidence of her tears had been wiped away, apart from a damp patch on the front of his shirt, and as they walked he was standing tall and she was smiling and they were holding hands.

As they neared the marquee they were greeted by their excited children, Melinda and Cassie, running in the opposite direction towards them.

When they got closer they stopped dead in their tracks when they saw the joined hands, then they looked at each other, giggled and ran away

“I think we can take that to mean we have their seal of approval” Tom said

“It would appear so” she agreed and kissed him.

 

Uncanny Love Tales – (042) Scratching an itch

 

Ben Williams and Peta Westphal were colleagues, but by no means friends, in fact they really didn’t like each other, so no one was more surprised than they were that they ended up in her Hotel room on the night of their company’s Summer Ball.

“So, that was surprising” Ben said as they lay in bed

“I can’t argue there” she agreed

“I didn’t even think we liked each other” Ben said

“We don’t, didn’t” she said and pulled a face

“Well we must like each other a bit” he suggested “On some level at least”

“Well, maybe not “like”” she said as they sat in bed drinking wine

“How does that work?” He asked

“Well it’s like this” she explained, “my work is my life, for now anyway, and I enjoy my own company, and I’m not really a sexual being”

“I can’t say I noticed that” he pointed out

“Well every now and then I get an itch that I need someone else to scratch” she confided

“And the rest of the time?” he asked

“The rest of the time I do my own scratching”

“That I’d like to see” he said, but she just gave him a look, then after another glass of wine she elaborated

“When I first met you, I knew instantly that you were a man who wouldn’t be looking for ties and I found that very attractive”

“I’m not sure if I should be flattered or not” He said

“Be honest isn’t that what she thought when you first met me?” Peta asked

“Pretty much” Ben replied after a moment’s thought

“Good because I’m not looking for a life partner, just a “friend” with benefits”

“Oh” he exclaimed and then Peta drained her wine glass and said

“Now I think I would like another go with your scratcher”

 

SETTING SAIL

 

Though you have been

A fair wind

Billowing my sails

My heart still craves

New shores

To beach my skiff upon

And it aches

For fresh new lands

Beneath my feet

So I must go

For you deserve better

And it would not

Be fair on you

If I were to settle

For my first port of call

CATCH OF THE DAY

With my fishing line of gold,

Hook, baited with pearls

I cast into the waters

As the ebb tide swirls

To catch myself one

Of the underwater girls

And land a pretty mermaid

With seaweed in her curls

Uncanny Love Tales – (041) Still waters run deep

The village of Brocklington was about six miles downstream of the River Deighton and was where Marian Yacoub was the post mistress.

She was a rather plain middle-aged woman just the wrong side of 40, who was quite small and slim, choosing to dress in all black, and was a very stern looking woman, who rarely smiled, with Short brown hair and wire rimmed spectacles over which she peers superciliously at all and sundry.

The general consensus in the village was that she was a dried up old spinster, but Pete Smith, landlord of the Mulberry Tree, knew that still waters ran deep and that there was more to the harsh faced Post Mistress than met the eye, because she was also his mistress.

He knew what lay beneath the drab exterior of her black attire, though everyone believed she wore thick black tights, he knew she only ever wore stockings, and her underwear, when she chose to wear any, was always black and always sexy.

Pete also knew you should never judge a book by its cover and if the poisonous clique in the village knew her as he did they would have known there was nothing cold, or dried up about her, but having said that he would not want any of them to share her bed, or her heart, as he did.

 

I HAD A VIVID DREAM

 

I had a vivid dream

And you were there

Lovely as the day we met.

I smelt your perfume

It was heavenly

A fragrance so evocative

I was intoxicated

It was blessed Euphoria.

I felt your caress

Tender like the first time

It was so real

My flesh tingled

The hairs on my neck stood up.

I kissed your lips

Like I did so many times

And my heart missed a beat

Just as it always did.

I would have stayed with you

Forever in your embrace

I wanted to stay

But I was dragged away

To awake in the real world

Where you no longer reside

And I was once again alone

But for a short time

I had you back

Even if it was just a dream

But what a special dream

A priceless dream

A dream, that if I could

I would dream again and again

WHEN I FIRST MET HER

 

When I first met her

I was attracted by her looks

My first thought was not

I wonder if she cooks

But her literary inadequacy’s

One certainly brooks

She was only ever interested

In my cheque books

WHEN I FIRST MET HER

When I first met her

I was attracted by her looks

My first thought was not

I wonder if she cooks

But her literary inadequacy’s

One certainly brooks

She was only ever interested

In my cheque books

YOU TOOK ME BY STORM

 

You took me by storm

Broke my resistance

Conquered my heart

Quite mercilessly

But on the way

To capturing my heart

You tainted me

SHE SPOKE SWEETLY

 

She spoke sweetly

With a songbirds melody

But within the beauty

One word could slay me

SHE WAS A TAXI DANCER

 

She was a Taxi dancer

10 cents a dance

He was a patron

And they were dance partners

Each night he would be there

A pocket full of tickets

Each night he looked for her

And they danced all night

He lived for the dances

All day he watched the clock

All night he danced with her

He thought she was special

He hoped he was too

But she was a Taxi dancer

10 cents a dance

She liked to dance

But she liked her commission more

He was just a pocketful of tickets

Nothing more than a cash cow

Who lost his heart

To a dime-a-dance girl

Uncanny Love Tales – (40) Alone with Jaylene Barker

At the western end of the Finchbottom Vale lays the small market town of Childean and on the outskirts of the town was the cottage where Ben Arscott lived.

It was a lovely early summer morning and Ben was just doing a bit of housework around the cottage, when there was a knock on the French window, so he stopped what he was doing.

However, when he looked, Ben couldn’t see anyone, not at first but on closer perusal he could see it was Jaylene Barker.

She was wearing knee length blue shorts, tight like leggings, and a kind of short floral summer dress, scooped down at the front, fitted at the waist and just about long enough to cover her bum.
“Hello” he said opening the door

“Where’s your buddy?”

Her “buddy” was Jackie Smith, her best friend, inseparable since kindergarten, which was a perfect friendship, as they complimented each other.

Although there were similarities, they were both attractive for a start, their likes and dislikes, and their sense of humour, but really as individuals they couldn’t be more different.

Jaylene was a brunette, dark complexion and had no fear, Jackie on the other hand was a strawberry blonde, pale and freckly and would tremble in shadows.

Jay was an extrovert, precocious, a real Lolita, very confident, self-assured, and pretty, and she knew it, though not in a cocky way.

Jackie on the other hand, though also very pretty, was unsure of it.

She was shy and socially awkward and lacked self-confidence

Being with Jay made Jack feel more confident, daring to do things she would never do alone, so she lived her life on her friend’s coat tails and without Jaylene, she floundered.

“She’s at her Gran’s funeral,” Jaylene answered

“Ah yes” he responded “I forgot”

To be honest, he wasn’t really bothered where Jackie was, he was just happy to have Jaylene to himself for a change.

The girls were both in their final year at Abbottsford University and worked at the Cherry Bean Café which was owned and run by Ben.

“Not that I’m not glad to see you, but how come you’re here so early” he said

“I thought you were on this afternoon”

“I am, but I’m on a split shift today”

“Covering for India” she said in response to his raised eyebrow “I’ve come straight from the shop, so I was wondering if you minded me hanging around here for a bit, because by the time I get home it’ll be time to head back again, then we could walk to the shop together”

“Sure, no problem” he replied flatly but inside he was doing cartwheels.

Jaylene Barker wasn’t just a pretty girl who worked for him, she was also the girl he loved, not that he’d ever told her how he felt.

He knew she was out of his league, by some distance, she was lovely, and he was just ordinary looking, so it was a real mismatch even if she wasn’t his employee and 4 years younger.

Though he would soon have to love her from afar when she finished Uni and made her way in the world, but for a few hours that day she was his and his alone.

 

They sat and chatted on the Patio for a little while before she asked

“Could I have a drink?”

“Of course, I’m so sorry, I should have offered” he flustered

“It’s ok” she responded and chuckled as she walked past him towards the kitchen, and because she was a foot shorter than him, he could easily look down her top at her beautiful breasts encased within lace trimmed satin cups, what he was unaware of was that she knew he was looking, and she liked it.

Ben flicked the kettle on to make a hot drink, but she asked 

“Can I have a glass of water?”

“Of course, help yourself”

“Ok, I think I will” she said inside her head

The glasses were in the top cupboard and being only five foot one she had to stand on tiptoe to reach the glass, and the act of stretching up her arm, raised the hem of her skirt to expose the curves of her perfect little cheeks in her skin tight shorts.
When she had retrieved a glass she turned and looked at him.
“Were you staring at my bum?” she asked accusingly
“Yes” he confessed “sorry”
“You’re a terrible letch,” Jay said “I saw you staring down my top at my boobs earlier”
“Well I’m actually a very good letch” he corrected her

“Don’t you like me looking?”
“Of course I do” she said and blushed and then she walked across the kitchen and said

“I would like you touching me better though”
And then she stood on tiptoe to reach up and kiss him and showed that she didn’t care if he was just ordinary looking, or her boss, or four years older, she wanted him in her league.

 

 

Snippets of Downshire Life – Lark in the Square

 The Finchbottom Vale nestles comfortably between the Ancient Dancingdean Forest to the south and the rolling Pepperstock Hills in the north, and to the east, 15 miles inland from Sharpington-By-Sea, equidistant between the seaside resort and Pepperstock Green was the rambling village of Brookley and at its heart was St Mildred’s Church where Emily Sanders worked in the office and she had an admirer in the shape of Chorister Roy Peach.

Emily was a bright bubbly girl with a delightful giggle, at least in Roy’s opinion, he however was neither bright nor bubbly, he was shy and withdrawn, apart from when he was with his closest friends, or when he was singing in the choir where he would come alive and be filled with the Holy Spirit.

If only he was able to come alive when he wasn’t singing just long enough to ask her out.

 

Emily was a busy beaver around the church and was heavily involved in all aspects of Church life and was always the first to volunteer for everything.

So, it was not an exaggeration to say that the church was her life, and its people were her family.

There were of course some people she liked more than others and although she was on the face of it the bright bubbly girl, she was in reality a quivering jelly beneath her confident façade, and one of the things that made her quiver was Roy Peach.

So, when the time came to prepare for the St Mildred’s Lark community event she had no hesitation in co-opting Roy on board to help her with the task.

The first was to go to Wellham Farm, or more precisely the Wellham Barns which were both large and numerous, too numerous for the needs of the farm so many of them had been converted into storage spaces, popular with companies wishing to house their archives off site, theatrical and film companies storing sets and costumes, and St Mildred’s church who stored a variety of things there, Santa’s Grotto, all the stalls for Fete’s and Bazaars, processional items, the nativity scene and costumes of all shapes sizes and uses.

So, they travelled in her car, the four miles from the village, with Roy and his cousin Susan, in order to locate the St Mildred’s Lark props and paraphernalia which was required in order to prepare for the Church’s community even over the following week.

 

Before they left Roy noticed Emily was wearing heels and a skirt, which was unusual, he didn’t know the reason why, but he liked it.

He may not have cared why she wasn’t wearing her usual flats and trousers but Emily’s reason for the change was to show off her legs, with the intention of getting Roy’s attention.

It was beginning to rain, so she walked fast, but in her heels, it made her lean forward from the waist and consequently it made her thrust her buttocks backwards as she moved.

But when she reached the car she turned and saw the look on his face and she knew she had him.

Emily was two years old than he was and more experienced with the opposite sex, but that counted for nothing.

She found it infuriating that she could flirt with people she wasn’t attracted to, but not with him, so she would have to try a different tack

 

When they reached their destination they met Sam Wellham, who managed the storage side of the farms business and he only had one full time employee to assist him and he had just quit, so he led them to the appropriate barn and unlocked the door.

“You’ll have to manage on your own today” he said

“Why? Are you short staffed?” Emily asked

“No, I’m no staffed as on twenty minutes ago”

“I’m looking for a job” Susan blurted out

“Do you live in Brookley?” he asked

“Yes”

“So, did the last person and he was always late” Sam stated

“Well I can vouch for the fact that she’s annoyingly punctual”, Roy said “in fact she is punctual to the point of obsession”

“She will never ever be late” Emily added “Because she is half an hour early for everything”

“I am still here you know” Susan said and blushed

“And what can you do when you get here?” he asked with a smile

“Whatever she’s asked to” Emily answered

“Thanks mum” Susan said

“Ok come and see me before you leave, and we can have a chat” Sam said and headed back to the office.

Emily had just entered the barn when a thought occurred to her, which was that getting Roy alone in the barn might give her the chance she had been looking for, so she said

“Susan! Why don’t you go and talk to Sam now?”

She opened her mouth to protest but Emily quickly continued

“Strike while the irons hot, I’m sure Roy and I can manage to locate the bits we need while you’re busy with Sam”

“Oh ok, if you’re sure” Susan said

“Absolutely” Emily assured her

 

While Emily was busily getting Susan out of the way Roy had located the mobile steps and was wheeling them down the appropriate aisle.

“Do you want to go up and hand the boxes down to me or vice versa?” he asked

“Well as I’m wearing a skirt and heels I think in order to preserve my modesty and dignity I should stay down here” she said

“Yes, good point” Roy agreed and made his way up the steps and very quickly located the two dozen boxes they had come for, and began handing them down to her, none of them were particularly heavy, but some of them were awkward sizes.

They were making steady progress between the two of them, but Emily knew that if she was going to do something it had to be soon, or Susan would be back, and the chance would be gone.

“The weight of this one is a bit lopsided” Roy said as he handed it to her

“Ok I’ve got it” she said and watched him as he turned to get the next box.

“Ahhhh!” she exclaimed and when Roy turned to look he saw Emily lying prone on the floor with the box on top of her.

“Emily! Oh my God Emily” he shouted and rushed down the steps

“Are you ok?”

He removed the box and cast it aside and knelt beside her and asked

“Are you hurt?”

There was no response to his question, she just lay there

“Even unconscious you look gorgeous” he thought but then grave dark thoughts filled his mind about how he might lose her before he got the chance to tell her how he felt about her, so Roy took her hand in his hands and said

“Darling Emily, please don’t leave me, I don’t….”

“Did you call me darling?” she asked, and he gasped

“Yes, I did”

“I like the sound of that” she said

“Are you ok?” Roy asked with concern still holding her hand

“I like this too” she said and squeezed his hand.

“Are you hurt?” he asked

“I’m fine, but why are you holding my hand and calling me darling?” Emily asked

Roy was really concerned that she was delirious and might lose consciousness again any moment and he didn’t want to lose her without telling her what was in his heart

“Because I love you, Emily Sanders” he said “I have loved you since the first moment I saw you, and I always will”

“Good” she said “Now help me up”

“No, you might collapse again” he said

“I didn’t fall to the floor” she confessed and giggled “I arranged myself seductively, so help me up off this cold floor, and then you can kiss me”

“There’s no need for you to get up for that” he said and kissed her where she lay.

 

So, the trip from Brookley to Wellham Farm was a very fruitful one, St Mildred got the Lark Community Event decorations, Susan Peach got a job and Emily and Roy got each other.

 

 

Snippets of Downshire Life – Whit Monday

It was in the late 1980’s when Ian Rapley, a Uniform Police Constable in Abbottsford, was on holiday with a group of fellow officers at the traditional seaside resort of Sharpington-by-Sea.

Which was a popular destination for visitors with its Victorian Pier, seafront hotels, crazy golf, The Palladium ballroom, well maintained gardens, promenade, theatre and illuminations, and has all the usual things to have a great time by the seaside, as well as amusement arcades and of course the Sharpington Fun Park.

They were staying in a Caravan Park up at Whitecliffe Hill for a week beginning on the Whitsun Bank Holiday weekend and were blessed with warm clement weather, which brought many more visitor to enjoy all the seaside fun.

The lads had been there for one day when quite by chance they met up with some familiar faces, a group of girls from Abbottsford and among them was Catherine Pugh, his sister Sian’s best friend.

Ian had fancied her for years, but she had always given him the cold shoulder, but suddenly they were both at the same resort, at the same time and with no romantic attachments, so he thought he would chance his arm one more time.

 

It took the best part of the three days but she eventually she weakened and agreed to go to the Palladium Ballroom with him to see the Proclaimers on Whit Monday.

It was a great night, they sang and danced and cheered, and afterwards they went to the bar and drank and talked for a couple of hours, before they walked along the beach together, hand in hand in the moonlight.

The beach was deserted and silent but for the gentle breaking of the waves on the shore.

When they reached the pier, she stopped and turned toward him and smiled and a moment later their mouths met in a kiss that was a delicious taste of tender passion. 

It was a kiss he had dreamt of for years, but the reality of it far surpassed his wildest imaginings, but for Catherine it was a revelation, an unexpected delight, and her senses were heightened, her perception altered, the kiss had opened her eyes and her heart.

“Wow, it looks like you finally got me” Catherine said with her head on his shoulder

“I was beginning to think it would never happen” Ian admitted

“I was certain it wouldn’t” she replied “But what do I know”

She added and giggled and then she kissed him again before she ran to the water’s edge where she began splashing in the breaking waves.

“I was wrong” she shouted to the moon “I was wrong”

Then she ran back up the beach giggling to where Ian was standing

“I was wrong” she said quietly and hugged him “All these years I was wrong”

Ian was speechless as he held her, and he prayed that it wasn’t just a vivid dream and then she whispered.

“But I’m not wrong anymore”

       

 

Snippets of Downshire Life – Spring Bank Holiday

It was in the late 1980’s when Nick Ransome, a Uniform Police Constable in Abbottsford, was on holiday with a group of fellow officers at the traditional seaside resort of Sharpington-by-Sea.

Which was a popular destination for visitors with its Victorian Pier, seafront hotels, crazy golf, The Palladium ballroom, well maintained gardens, promenade, theatre and illuminations, has all the usual things to have a great time by the seaside, as well as amusement arcades and of course the Sharpington Fun Park.

They were staying in a Caravan Park up at Whitecliffe Hill for a week beginning on the Whitsun Bank Holiday weekend and were blessed with warm clement weather, which brought many more visitor to enjoy all the seaside fun.

The lads had been there for one day when quite by chance they met up with some familiar faces, a group of girls from Abbottsford and among them was Rachel Purvis, who he knew slightly from his University days.

He thought she was pretty enough and had a nice figure, but he always found her to be a bit aloof.

But early on Whit Monday morning as he walked along the pier he saw her in an entirely different light. 

It was 6 am and Nick had been up and about for a couple of hours and had been to the end of the pier and had been enjoying a joke with the fishermen and then he decided it was time for breakfast.

As it was early, other holiday makers were few and far between but the first one he saw was a familiar face.

Rachel Purvis walked towards him with the sunlight behind her and after the initial recognition his eyes were drawn to the contents of her white summer dress, which were unfettered, and dancing hypnotically, it was the most delicious sight, because the early sun had rendered her white cotton summer dress almost invisible and displayed her exceptional figure to great effect.

She saw him staring with his gaze fixed and unshakable and she turned up her nose as she approached him and gave him a look conveying utter disgust.

“Have you seen enough?” Rachel asked with contempt
He smiled and nodded and then replied
“I’ve seen everything thank you”

Unaware of his meaning she delivered yet another contemptible look and then he said.
“You might want to slip this on” he suggested as he offered her his jacket, but she just gave him a puzzled look in response and sneered at his offering.

“Your dress is totally see through in the sunshine” he said and offered her his jacket again, but it still took a moment for the penny to drop.

“Oh God” she said and quickly put on his jacket and she was blushing vividly as she stood outside the toilets.   

“Thank you”

She walked to the door and half turned as she opened it

“Thank you” she said and smiled, and with that smile he saw her in entirely different light again.

 

Once she reappeared, her embarrassment had subsided so he took her to breakfast where he discovered that a kind and gentle young woman dwelt beneath the aloofness.

After breakfast he walked her back to her guest house to change into something less revealing and then they spent the rest of the day together.

 

MORE THAN EVER NOW

 

More than ever now

I want you.

Each day that passes

Surpasses its predecessor

In contentment

You are my salvation

 

Remembering the time before us

Leaves me cold

You brought me home

Into the warmth

You tended to my heart

Restored my faith

Pacified the torments

 

More than ever now

I need you

Each day that passes

Eclipses its predecessor

You are my miracle

Banishing sorrow forever

Replenishing my love

Refreshing my spirit

Tending my flesh

 

More than ever now

I want you.

I need you

I love you

HE SAID THOSE WORDS

He said those words,

He said them to me,

I thought I had misheard

So he had to say them twice

Was it a mistake?

Did he mean to say them to me?

Of course not,

He’s not talking to me

He’s talking to Carol

She’s sat behind me

Oh no she’s gone for coffee

So yes he was talking to me

He did say those words,

And he did say them to me

I couldn't believe it

I thought I must be dreaming,

I would wake up in a moment

To find it was a pleasant dream

And I would smile to myself

And let out a little sigh

But he said those words to me

And with those words

He changed my world

The sun shone on my existence

And my heart skipped a beat

I didn’t even know he’d noticed me

I didn’t know he knew that I existed

But he said those words to me

And I said yes

Snippets of Downshire Life – Ascension Day

 

The Finchbottom Vale is nestled comfortably between the Ancient Dancingdean Forest to the south and the rolling Pepperstock Hills in the north, those who are lucky enough to live there think of it as the rose between two thorns.

The Vale was once a great wetland that centuries earlier stretched from Mornington in the East to Childean in the west and from Shallowfield in the south to Purplemere in the north.

But over the many centuries the vast majority had been drained for agriculture, a feat achieved largely by the efforts of famous Mornington Mills, of which only three had survived to the present day and even those were no longer functional and were in various states of repair.  

There were only three small bodies of water left in the Vale now one in Mornington, one in Childean and third of course was Purplemere which was to the north of the Vale, where in the lee of Pepperstock Hills, lay the modest town of the same name.

On the western side of the town was the residential area known as Hill Side, and in one of its many quiet road, was the home of Turner’s, where Nurse Amanda lived with her Parents and her younger siblings.

She was the oldest and, as her mother kept reminding her, was still single, which wasn’t for the want of trying on her part.

The problem was when you worked shifts it was difficult to have a social life and meet new people, but although she wondered sometimes why she was alone she wasn’t unhappy, she didn’t feel diminished by her unattached status.

But there were many times when she wished she could change her Facebook status to “in a relationship”.

She had plenty of friends and two sisters, all of whom took turns at throwing single men in her direction, but she evaded most of them and of the ones she didn’t evade, none of them turned out to be keepers.

As she was a Nurse at the Royal Downshire Hospital, Doctors always tried their luck of course, but news and reviews of doctors travelled fast along the nurse’s grapevine, so they generally knew who to avoid and working in the Emergency Department meant that patients weren’t an option.

She liked the ED though, and there was one regular visitor that she had her eye on, PC Ricky Hall, and she had been applying some intense flirting for several months, however she had not been able to get anywhere with him, but she was determined to persevere.

In fact on one Thursday evening in May Amanda, who was tall, skinny and freckly with straw coloured hair thought she had made a breakthrough, his partner PC King was taking a statement from a mugging victim and Ricky was stood by the nurses station, and as she had just finished stitching a nasty scalp wound, Amanda decided to go and flirt with him again.

As she was tall it made a nice change for her to talk to a man who was taller than her as Ricky was six feet plus and she had always had a weakness for red hair, and his was very red.

It was a very busy shift in the ED and she should have felt a bit guilty under the circumstances, and very unprofessional, because she was flirting with him shamelessly and she couldn’t help herself, as she inclined her head to one side and played with her hair and behaved like she did when she was still at school, and fully expected it not to get her anywhere, when his demeanour changed and it looked like he might be about to say something that was giving him a dry mouth.

So, she held her breath expectantly, but before the words came out a group of rowdy drunks came in and he had to leave her to go and separate two scuffling revellers, and she had to return to cubicles, and that was that.

 

But by the end of a busy shift he returned and this time he sought her out.

“Hi Amanda, I’m looking for a Mrs Twiss, Edith Twiss”

“Hello Constable.…” she began, and was about to start flirting, when she had another thought “She’s been admitted”

“Do you know which ward?” he asked

“I’m going up myself, so I can show you if you like”

“Great” he responded

 

Thankful the lift was there waiting, it was only three floors, but she was feeling a bit leg weary.

“Thanks for doing this” he said

“No problem, my pleasure” she retorted and was momentarily distracted by thoughts of pleasure as the lift began to ascend

But her unprofessional thoughts were abruptly halted when the lift started rattling and shaking and threw the pair of them, nose to nose, into one corner.

“Well this is fortuitous” she said and kissed him.
“That was so much better than flirting” 

“I can’t argue with that” he said “especially as I’ve wanted to do that for a while”

“Really? me too” she concurred “Seconds then?”

His reply came in the form of a kiss and it was even better than the first and only came to an end when the lift started moving again.

By the time they had reached the floor they wanted and emerged from the lift they had a dinner date for Saturday evening.

And after showing him to Mrs Twiss’s ward she returned to ED, but not in the lift, she skipped down the stairs instead.

 

SKIN DEEP

You are all veneer,

With no oak beneath

You are all gloss finish

With no undercoat

You are a pastry top

With no pie below

You are faith

Without belief

You are attraction

Without love

You are shallow

And superficial

NO MORE JUMPERS FOR GOAL POSTS

We didn’t think that life

Could get any better

We were young

Happy and content

Kicking footballs

Building carts

Climbing trees

Fishing in the pond

Swimming in the pool

Then they came along

Distracting us

With their undulations

Their cheap perfume

That seemed so exotic

Walking with their funny wiggles

Laughing with their girlish giggles

And the boyhood fun was over

No more jumpers for goal posts

No more war games in the woods

We still played in the woods

But then it was holding hands

Hugging and snogging

And playing with fun bumps

But no more jumpers for goal posts

WHEN WE ARE APART

 

When we are apart

My heart breaks

Each painful moment

My heart aches

Come home soon

For both our sakes

Uncanny Love Tales – (039) French Lingerie

Joseph Kent and Thomasina Haggerty were married though not to each other and were in Paris for a dirty weekend.

They had spent the morning sightseeing, before having lunch in a Bistro and then split up as Tommy wanted to go shopping and Joe wanted to see more of Paris than the inside of French shops, so after a kiss outside the Bistro they went their separate ways. 

 

When Joe arrived back at the Hotel he went up to the room and let himself in, but the room was empty, so he went back downstairs and went into the bar.

He really fancied a pint but they only had French beer, which was weaker than piss, so he ordered a large glass of white wine instead and he texted Tommy to say he was in the bar and to join him there when she arrived and she replied “ok”

He took his drink out onto the terrace, which was bathed in the surprisingly warm October sunshine, but it was cooler than it looked so he went back inside.

He found himself a seat and took his phone from his pocket and called Gina, his wife.

He was on his second glass of wine when Tommy arrived clutching an assortment of bags.

“Hi handsome” she said kissing him, then she whispered.

“I decided to go shopping for you know what’s”

“That’s ok,” he said kissing her back, knowing precisely what the “you know what’s” were, because she had mentioned after their early morning coupling that she wanted to buy some French Lingerie “Blimey” he exclaimed “are all those bags full of knickers?”

“Shhh” she exclaimed “No of course not, but one thing led to another, after all how often does a girl get the chance to shop in Paris”

“Quite right” he agreed, “do you want a drink?”

“No thanks babe. I want to go and try these on” Tommy replied excitedly

“Ok, I’ll come up when I’ve finished mine”

To the casual observer they would have looked like an ordinary married couple.

“If they only knew” he thought which led to another thought

“If only we were”

 

When he got up to the room, he found Tommy stood in front of the mirror, sporting a luscious pair of ivory silk knickers, as she tried to wrestle her breasts into the matching bra.

The first one would go in its cup with only a little persuasion but just as she got the second one in, the first one popped out again or both nipples would suddenly appear above the lace.

And all the time her buttocks were doing the mumbo inside her silk drawers, and he was enjoying her performance very much indeed.

“Are you having a bit of trouble Betty?” He asked in his best Frank Spencer impression.

“I’ve bought the wrong bloody cup size,” she snapped

“Did you only buy one?” He enquired

“No of course not” she replied crossly

“But they’re all the same size” He speculated

“Yes” she mumbled and stamped her feet. “And I wanted to look and feel stunning tonight”

“You always look stunning,” Joe said honestly

“That’s very sweet” Tommy said and turned to kiss him, and both dark pink nipples peered over the top of the ivory lace.

“What am I going to do?” she asked as she rested her head on his chest “I don’t want to wear the black one, I’ve had it on all day”

“Go braless” He suggested

“I can’t go without a bra” Tommy said horrified “I’m thirty-seven years old”

“Actually, you’re thirty-eight” he corrected her “but you have fabulous tits”

She frowned at the correction of her age, but smiled and blushed when he complicated her breasts, then she turned towards the mirror again and removed her ill-fitting bra and began squishing and kneading her boobs in her reflection to evaluate their pliability.

“No, I will not go out in Paris with my thirty-eight-year-old baps unholstered” she stated

“Ok then how about a compromise?” Joe suggested, “You go braless but we eat in the Hotel restaurant”

“We can’t eat here” Tommy said very definitely

“Have you seen the menu”

Thomasina picked up the menu off the desk and gave it to him.

“It’s ridiculously expensive”

“My treat” He said throwing the menu on the bed without looking at it

“What is?” she asked suspiciously “The dinner or my going braless”

“Both” he replied

 

They checked out the next morning and left the Hotel and not for the first time on that trip they got into a waiting cab.

As they set off Joe silently reflected on how often on their dirty weekend, he had found himself referring to him and Tommy as “us” and concluded that it was significant.

They didn’t go directly to the “Gare du Nord”; as their train didn’t depart until 4.30pm so they had plenty of time to stop at the Lingerie store so Tommy could exchange her inadequate bras.

Joe sat outside a café drinking coffee and guarding the bags while she went into the store, she was taking no chances this time and was going to try them all on in the shop.

He offered to come in with her to help her tuck her puppies in their cups, but she declined his offer saying,

“You wouldn’t be helping me; you would be helping yourself”

“The cheek of some people” he thought as he stared at both of her pert examples shimmying inside her jeans.

 

When she returned a little short of an hour later, she was looking almost as pleased with herself as she did when she walked braless into the Hotel restaurant.

“You look very pleased with yourself, have you gone commando?” He asked unhelpfully

 “No” she said indignantly and sat down at the table next to him.

Joseph caught the eye of the waiter and ordered two coffees

“Did you change your bras?”

“Yes” she said “and I bought some treats”

“What kind of treats?” he asked intrigued

“Fishnet tights, for one thing” she replied “for next time”

 

Once on the train they found the carriage was very busy but not boisterous, and Joe expected the train’s rhythmic motion would soon lull them off to sleep, but he looked at Tommy’s lovely face, as she sat beside him, and he wondered if it was possible that she was falling in love with him, but he decided she was probably not, though he knew he had easily fallen in love with her, but he decided not to say the words because their commitments, if not their hearts, were elsewhere.

 

They prepared to say goodbye at Kings Cross Station, by the gate for the Basingstoke train.

“Thanks Joe, for making it such an enjoyable time” she said and kissed him “It was wonderful”

“My pleasure” He responded

“And mine” Tommy said blushing, then a moment later she continued

“I probably enjoyed it a little more than I should have I think”

He wasn’t sure if she was referring to the overindulgence or the sex, or something else.

“It wasn’t just a dirty weekend for me” she clarified “it was special”

“For me too” he said