Sunday 30 May 2021

Snippets of Downshire Life – Guilty Feelings

Highfinch, which nestled on the edge of the Pepperstock Hills, was where the Lily Green Hollows Golf Club separated the village from the Hamlet of Lily Green, and the combination of those two and Kingfisherbridge made up the parish of St Martins, and between Lily Green and the sleepy hamlet of Kingfisherbridge was where divorcee Karen Dillon lived with her daughter Melinda and brother Daniel Mason.

Daniel was a pig man and worked up at Orchard Farm in the wooded Pepperstock Hills and it was there, when he was walking in the hills that he met and fell in love with Meredith Upshaw from the neighbouring Russet Hill Egg Farm.

This made Karen immensely pleased and incredibly jealous in equal measure and that made her feel guilty because she loved her brother and really liked Meredith.

Of course she may have felt differently if she had known that things were about to change for her.

It happened when the Upshaw family threw a dinner party up at the farm to celebrate Meredith and Daniel’s engagement.

It was a big affair with more than twenty seated around a huge table beneath the canvas of a marquee in the meadow beside the orchard. 

Four generation of Upshaw’s were present and three on the Mason side.

Karen’s daughter Melinda was having a fun day, dividing her time between playing with her peers among the Upshaw’s and being spoilt rotten by her grandparents.

In fact everyone at the meal appeared to be enjoying themselves including Karen, although in her case she was merely putting on a brave face, and when they reached the teas and coffee stage of the proceedings, she slipped quietly out of the marquee for some respite from the jollity and then wandered into the fragrant orchard, and as soon as she was out of sight she leant against a tree and cried.

 

Karen may have slipped quietly away from the fun but her departure did not go entirely unnoticed, as Meredith’s cousin Tom saw her, and the reason for that was he had barely taken his eyes off her all day.

They had been introduced just after she and Melinda arrived and as   his daughter Cassie was of a similar age to hers they spent half an hour or so in conversation, and the only reason they stopped then was because they were instructed to take their seats, and the seating plan had them placed at opposite ends of the table.

When he saw her leave the marquee, and it was clear by the direction she took that she wasn’t off to use the facilities, he got up himself and headed in the same direction, and he emerged into the sunlight just in time to see her enter the orchard, so he followed.    

When he caught up with her she was leaning against a tree and as he closed the distance between them he noticed that her shoulders were shaking.

“Are you ok?” Tom asked

“No” she sobbed

“Why?” he asked “what’s wrong?”

“I’m a terrible person” she replied

“I find that hard to believe” Tom said brightly and put a hand on her shoulders and in response to his touch she leant into him.

“It’s true”

“You’d better explain then” he urged and tried to turn her to face him.

“No don’t look at me” she snapped

“Ok but you still need to explain”

“I love my brother, I really do and I’m so pleased that he and Meredith are going to get married, she is so lovely and they really are perfect together” she said

“But?” he asked

“I’m jealous” she admitted “I’m jealous of his happiness, God I’m so despicable”

“No you’re not” he said and tried to turn her again and this time she yielded and buried her face in his chest

“You just want to be happy too, that’s perfectly natural” he assured her

“It’s not natural to be jealous though is it?” she retorted 

“Did you ever wish that they weren’t so happy?” he asked

“No, not for a second” she snapped “They deserve to be happy”

“So why do you feel so guilty?” he asked

“I don’t know, but I still feel guilty” Karen said “I always feel guilty because of my jealous thoughts”,

“Well you’re not the only one who felt jealous today” he confessed

“There’s someone else?” she asked “Who?”

“Me”

“Why were you jealous?” she asked and lifted her face from his chest for the first time to look at him “Who were you jealous of?”

“The people sitting either side of you” he replied and she gasped

 

When Tom and Karen emerged from the orchard, all evidence of her tears had been wiped away, apart from a damp patch on the front of his shirt, and as they walked he was standing tall and she was smiling and they were holding hands.

As they neared the marquee they were greeted by their excited children, Melinda and Cassie, running in the opposite direction towards them.

When they got closer they stopped dead in their tracks when they saw the joined hands, then they looked at each other, giggled and ran away

“I think we can take that to mean we have their seal of approval” Tom said

“It would appear so” she agreed and kissed him.

 

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