Friday, 21 May 2021

The Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa – Done to a Turn

The beautiful Downshire village of Clerembeax St Giles was situated to the west of Abbeyvale located between Grace Hill and Bushy Down and on the outskirts was the Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa.

It was once the home The Clerembeax’s, who arrived in Downshire following the Norman conquests and stayed for a thousand years before the name died out following the death of the reclusive Marcus Clerembeax at the age of 96.

The current owner was Yvonne Labuschagne, who decided to open it as a Hotel and Spa.

The Spa was a good attraction, but it was crucial for them to maintain a high occupancy rate, however things were tough in the Hotel trade with the success of Travelodge, Premier Inn and Holiday Inn Express and so places like the Palace needed to offer something extra to attract the guests, apart from the Spa. 

So they put on novelty weekends, such as “Murder Mysteries” and in addition, they had a sizable Ballroom which was used for special occasions, high days and holidays, which boosted occupancy and Spa numbers at the same time, and among the employees were Evelyn Cooper, Jane Dooney and Ken Cake and from very early on after they met it had seemed to the casual observer that they were to be an eternal triangle for the whole summer and one of the girls would have landed Ken by autumn, but the truth of the matter was that Evelyn had no interest in Ken, which was why it was a relief for Evelyn to do something without the other two, so they might finally realise they were a couple.

Not that she didn’t enjoy passing some of their spare time together, but when she could she would get out on her own.

Fortunately, Jane and Ken were late risers and as Evelyn was always up with the lark she could easily manage to get out the door on her days off well before they surfaced if she chose to.

Sometimes she would just set off on foot through the wood or go up to the stable and exercise one of the horses up at Stevens Farm, while on other days she would get in the car and explore the countryside.

But she was always looking for other escapes so when she was invited to her sister Claire’s house one Friday night at the end of May, for her husband Jack’s birthday, she jumped at the chance, and when Claire asked her if she wanted to bring someone she emphatically replied

“Definitely not”

 

It was a lovely evening and Evelyn arrived early to help her sister preparing salads and marinades etcetera, but not only was she early to arrive she was also early to start drinking.

 

Apart from her sister and brother in law there were a lot of guests who were known to her and there were also a couple of ex boyfriends in their number, one of whom, Dean Kerley, she was particularly pleased to see.

So she gravitated towards him and kept him in her sights all evening and as time wore on she drank more and more and eventually as she weaved her way around the tables she stumbled and Dean reached out a strong arm to catch her, and once she had his arm around her she was not willing to relinquish it, and as they sat next to each other and held hands under the table Claire smiled to herself as she watched them, smugly satisfied that she had baited and sprung the trap to great effect.

Being eight years older than her sister Claire had made it her mission at every family occasion and social gathering to be on the lookout for a suitable suitor, and she was sure that Dean was the one, and she was very pleased with herself when she got them together, but then inexplicably they broke up.

She had tried several times since to get the two of them back together and she was not disappointed with her latest attempt.

 

The following morning Evelyn woke up in her sister’s spare room with a very bad hangover and only the vaguest memories of how she got there, or why, as it was not her intention to spend the night.

She lay beneath the duvet and tried to piece together the tenuous strands of memory into a coherent chain of events and failed miserably.

The one recurring image in her head was of her and Dean holding hands at the BBQ and her not wanting to let go of it.

“Nah” she exclaimed and closed her eyes, and then thirty seconds later the door burst open and her six-year-old twin nieces charged in and jumped on the bed giggling excitedly and shouting

“Congratulations aunty Evelyn!”

“Hello, my darlings” she retorted “Congratulations for what, not being dead?”

“For being engaged” they chorused

“But I’m not engaged” she replied, “Am I?”

“Yes, yes, yes” they chimed

“To who?”

“To Dean of course” they replied

“Dean proposed to me?” she asked

“Not exactly” Claire said as she entered the room with a mug of coffee “You proposed to him”

“I did not” Evelyn said “You’re all winding me up”

“No, it definitely happened” Claire confirmed

“And I just asked him outright?” Evelyn asked

“Not exactly” Claire replied “You had him pinned down on the lawn and sat on his chest until he said yes”

“Oh my God” she said and covered her face

“And when he said yes you jumped up and did a lap of honour around the garden, as if you’d just scored the winning goal at Wembley, and then you misjudged the corner and fell into the Hydrangeas”

“I am so embarrassed” Evelyn said “At least I won’t have to face him again for a while, if ever”

“I don’t know about that he’s picking you up in two hours” Claire said as she prepared to exit the room

“Why is he coming here?” she snapped “Today”

“Because you insisted he take you for lunch to celebrate your engagement” Claire replied and stepped out through the door and Evelyn scrambled out of bed to pursue her.

“He won’t come though, will he?” she asked hesitantly

“Oh yes, he phoned ten minutes ago to say he had booked a table”

“You mean he took it seriously?” she asked mockingly

“Very” Claire said and headed down the stairs

“Do you mean he really wants to marry me?” she asked incredulously

“Unfathomable isn’t it” Claire said without turning around and then Evelyn screamed and a fraught 90 minutes followed while Evelyn turned herself from a hungover red-eyed wreck into a presentable fiancé and then she was able to relax while she waited for her date.

Dean wouldn’t have cared one way or other if she had looked frightful, he loved her and that was all that mattered.

 

The meal was in Abbottsford at Roberto’s where they had an intimate lunch which ended with a proper proposal for which she didn’t have to sit on his chest, this was followed by ring hunting in the Phoenix Shopping Centre and the wedding date was set for the following year at St Giles’ Church in Clerembeax, subject to availability.

 

A week before the event was the obligatory hen nigh, organised by Claire, which consisted of all the girls from the Hotel, who could get the night off, her friends from the village, plus Yvonne Labuschagne and Hannah Morgan.

It was held at the Clerembeax Hotel and Spa and was a weekend centred more on pampering and preening than drinking and was followed by a lavish meal in the Hotel Restaurant.

It was an occasion that the Bride to be enjoyed very much but did not feel inclined to sit on someone’s chest until they agreed to marry her.

 

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