Steve Berry had always
had a distinct dislike for Christmas, in fact he hated everything about it,
despite all the jollity and faux fun because unlike many of his Christmas mad
friends he had no happy Christmas memories to anesthetise him against the
season.
His parents were
chronic alcoholics and each year their Christmas came in a bottle and thanks to
his ill-tempered father, Steve’s came with a slap, so his childhood Christmases
were festive memories he would rather have forgotten.
But adulthood brought
no relief from the season and it always seemed to him that when shit happened
Christmas just magnified the misery.
If someone died at
Christmas the very season makes it more keenly felt and he could testify to
that fact as his own mother died on Christmas Eve when he was 19.
He had no idea where
his father was and quite frankly he didn’t care he never bothered to show up
for the funeral and for all he knew he could have been dead as well.
So as a result he had
never trusted Christmas, because he knew that shit lurks beneath the coloured
lights and paper chains.
He used to dream of
getting away at Christmas and going somewhere that didn’t celebrate it in any
way, shape or form, but where exactly is that place?
Answers on a postcard
please to Steve Berry if anyone has any suggestions.
So each year like the
rest of the populous he was subjected to all the usual false jollity, Christmas
Parties, Secret Santa’s and Christmas Lunch, Paper hats, crackers and all that
shit.
And everywhere he
would go from October onwards was bedecked with tinsel, garlands, bells,
baubles and Led lights.
And it was impossible
to avoid it as each and every shop played endless spools of regurgitated
Christmas tunes and if that wasn’t enough there were the morons possessed of
more money than sense who decorated the outside of their houses with every
conceivable adornment of light emitting decorations to create an Led hell.
Steve never had a
girlfriend at Christmas he always dumped them, or got himself dumped, when they
started to get too jolly.
So when he was 21 he
developed the perfect anti Christmas strategy.
He would always save a
chunk of annual leave and finish work at least one week before the big day and
return after the New Year debacle.
He would stock up with
food along with the other festive numpties and armed with a stack of DVD box
sets he became a Christmas recluse until the year turned and that strategy had
served him well for nine 9 years and he believed it would serve him another
ninety.
He had found it had
become easier over the years with the advent of catch up TV, he just needed to
avoid the adverts that remind him that it was Christmas and that he couldn’t
afford a holiday.
His strategy was
however tried and tested and it had managed to save his sanity over the years.
Steve was in the Pig
and Whistle, not exactly a real shit hole of a pub but not the most attractive
or ambient but more importantly the only pub in town guaranteed not to play
Christmas stuff because the landlord Phil hated the season almost as much as
Steve did.
It was his last night
out before his Christmas exile and it was his intention to get totally
shitfaced as he had almost three weeks to recover.
He was not a social
animal, he liked his own company and if he ever engaged in conversation with
fellow patrons it was because he had initiated it.
He was also not averse
to being rude if someone else spoke first.
So he was just
enjoying his third pint as he sat in the furthest most corner of the bar
reading his book when it happened.
“Hello” she said
Steve ignored her,
normally if he didn’t respond they’d get the message and go away
“Hello” she said louder
“Are you ok?”
“I was” he sighed
“Oh dear Mr Grinch” she
said “what you need is some Christmas spirit”
“I’m fine” he insisted
“I don’t think you are
sitting on your own in the furthest most corner” she said
Steve looked at her
for the first time, she was roughly his age, maybe a little younger, and she
was wearing a red dress, red and white striped stockings and had tinsel in her
mousy hair.
“Who are you? The
Christmas fairy?” he asked gruffly
He wanted to tell her
to fuck off but she was quite cute.
“No I’m Holly, Phil’s
niece” she said
“Holly? How very festive”
He said sarcastically
“Yes I’m going to
instil a little Christmas spirit” Holly said
“But Phil hates
Christmas” Steve informed her
“I know” she said
“which is why he’s going to Las Vegas until the New Year”
“When?” He asked
“Half an hour ago” she
replied
“So are you going to
come and join the rest of us?”
“No thanks I don’t do
Christmas” he said and returned to his book
“Oh well perhaps some
Christmas music will get you in the mood” she said resolutely
“Oh God” he responded
The Christmas party
mix was really grating on him but he was too far along with his Christmas
strategy to go off hunting for another Christmas free pub so he had to put up
with it.
As the evening wore on
she persisted in trying to draw him out of his corner, but to no avail.
He left his corner
only to go to the bar and get another drink and then returned to his solitude.
Apart from the music
upsetting his plans there was the added annoyance of customers, more arriving
every hour, word had got out that Phil “The Grinch who stole Christmas” had
gone for the duration, and that there was a new Santa in town.
This only became a
problem however when, while he was at the bar, somebody took over his corner.
So he had to return to
the bar again.
“Back again already
Steve?” Holly asked
“Someone is in my
seat” he said
“Well pull up a stool”
she suggested
“Do I have a choice?”
he said grumpily
“You’re just a little
ray of sunshine” she said and laughed
“I can see I’m going
to have to use all my Christmas magic on you”
He sighed as he
settled himself down on a stool and said
“I’ve never seen it so
busy in here”
“I know” Holly said
“I’m going to need more staff at this rate”
“Good luck with that”
he said with a sneer
Steve Berry woke up the
morning after he met The Girl in the Red Dress, with his face stuck to the mock
leather of a bench seat and when he painfully sat himself up he saw he was in
the lounge bar of the Pig and Whistle.
Well he had intended
getting shit faced the night before, so mission accomplished there, and he had
expected to wake up with a hangover, so another box ticked, but it was never
part of the plan to wake up with a hangover at the pub.
“Good morning sunshine”
Holly called as she crashed through the door wearing a dressing gown and
slippers.
“Ow” he said “have
some respect for the dead”
She put a mug of black
coffee on the table in front of him and peered at his bloodshot eyes
“Blimey! Can you
actually see through those?” she asked
“I hope you don’t
drink like that when you’re working”
“Well I don’t need to
worry about work until January” he said and sipped at his coffee
“Don’t you remember
anything about last night?” Holly asked with a wry smile on her lips
He closed his eyes and
replied
“I remember I don’t like
Christmas”
“Anything else?” Holly
persisted
“It was very busy,
very noisy” Steve said but could remember nothing else
“Do you remember me
saying I needed more staff?” she asked
“Yes I do remember that”
he replied
“Good” she said
“because your it”
“What?” he said loudly
and then winced
“You volunteered to
work right through till New Year’s Eve”
“I can’t have” Steve
said
“Well you did” She
insisted and showed him a piece of paper detailing the fore mentioned offer
signed by Steve.
“That doesn’t count” he
said “I was pissed”
“It’s legally binding”
Holly stated “It’s notarized by a solicitor”
Steve stared at the
signature
“Sam Culver?” he said
“he’s not a solicitor he’s a forklift driver”
“Be that as it may he
has still witnessed your signature on this contract” she said coolly
“Contract?” he said in
disbelieve
“Contract” she confirmed
“Oh please you’re not
really going to hold me to this?” Steve said waving the “contract” in her
direction
“You start tonight”
she informed him
“Oh God I’ve sold my
soul to the Christmas fairy” he said with his head in his hands
“I prefer Christmas
angel” she said “But I’m not the one with tinsel in my hair”
“Oh shit” he exclaimed
and felt his head
“Get yourself a hair of
the dog, I’m going to get dressed” Holly said smiling
“Oh and there’s no
drinking on the job, by the way”
He didn’t bother with
the hair of the dog but he did drink another coffee before he left to go home
and after a bath, a sleep and something to eat he felt revived by the time he
left home again to report for his first shift although he still couldn’t figure
out how the Christmas Angel had tricked him into working for her.
Over the week and a
half that followed Steve’s press ganging by Holly, the Christmas Angel, between
his first shift and Christmas Eve, Holly had done her level best to elicit the full
details of why it was that Steve hated Christmas and everything about it quite so
much.
Holly had noticed
right at the beginning that he was not the miserable git that she first thought
or that he wanted people to think.
In fact that first
night when he was forced to sit at the bar he had been very funny, once he
managed to forget it was Christmas.
But every time he
heard someone utter the words happy Christmas it was like he’d been stabbed.
So she relentlessly
picked away at the scab every day, but she couldn’t get him to open up, no
matter how hard she tried, but she wasn’t prepared to give up under any
circumstances.
Steve would never have
admitted it but despite his initial protests he had rather enjoyed working
behind a bar again.
He hadn’t done it
since he left University and started working as an accountant.
The repetitive festive
music still grated on him, though less so than before, even the Christmas
t-shirts and jumpers that Holly made him wear had become less onerous.
Holly herself led by
example and wore an almost inexhaustible supply of festive outfits and he had
to admit she still looked cute in which ever one she was wearing.
She was a nosy cow
though and kept poking and prodding at him trying to find out what made him
tick.
But it amused him that
his not playing ball was driving her crackers, Christmas crackers even.
On Christmas Eve he
drove to the pub, arriving at 9.30am, and thought to himself
“This is going to be a
very long day”
It was bitterly cold day
and the sky was slate grey and overcast, he sniffed the air and then knocked on
the front door which Holly opened within a couple of minutes and she was
already dressed in her Christmas outfit, namely Mrs. Clause.
“Morning Steve” she
said “Happy Christmas Eve”
“Why are you always so
cheerful?” he asked in response
“Because “it’s a
wonderful life”” she said
“Oh God are you going
to throw festive film titles at me all day?”
“I hadn’t thought of
that” she said “but it sounds like fun”
He took his coat off
and revealed his jumper of the day adorned with a reindeers head.
“There’s snow in the
air” he said hanging up his coat
“Lovely” she replied
with a chuckle “White Christmas”
“Stop it” Steve said
Holly had walked to the
bar and picked something up and then returned to him with it behind her back.
“What’s that?” he
asked suspiciously
“Antlers” she said
triumphantly and put them on his head
“Please no” he said
“that’s too much”
“Stop whining Grinch
or I’ll put the Christmas tape on” she threatened
“That’s dirty
fighting” he said
With it being Christmas
Eve they knew it was going to be busy in the pub that day so in addition to
Holly and Steve there were barmaids Clare and Petra and in the kitchen were
Stefano and Ausra.
It wasn’t manically
busy but there was a steady flow all day, shoppers popping in for a warm, that
kind of thing, and as it was such a bitter cold day the kitchen did a roaring trade
in warming chili, soups, casseroles and stews, so much so that they kept the
kitchen going right through the afternoon.
It was not however a
day for cold desserts.
By five o’clock they
had sold out of hot food and the till drawers were stuffed despite the fact that
Holly kept taking them away to the office, but they kept filling up.
While Holly counted
the takings in the office, Steve and Petra manned the bar and Clare helped
Steph and Ausra clear away.
Job done they joined
Steve at the bar and were enjoying a well-earned drink when Holly came out.
“Well done you lot”
she said “I hope that drink is on the house”
“It is” Steve said
“We have had a
phenomenal day” she said handing out pay packets “so there’s a little something
extra in there”
“Thanks boss”
Stephanos said
“Cheers Hol” said Petra
“Thanks Holly” Clare
and Ausra said simultaneously
What she didn’t tell
them was that the little extra was 100 pounds per head, they wouldn’t find that
out until later.
“Where’s mine?” Steve
asked
“Grinch tax” Holly
said to the great amusement of the others and patted his cheek
“Charming” he replied
but he was laughing when he said it and he knew that the others were finished
until after Christmas whereas he still had the evening shift.
Although he wasn’t
bothered about the money particularly he knew he would get it, he had actually
enjoyed Christmas Eve for the first time ever.
They all finished
their drinks and it was the moment that Steve hated most, the final farewell
when Christmas wishes were exchanged.
“Merry Christmas”
Clare said and kissed Steve
“And you” he replied
“Happy Christmas
Stevie” Ausra said kissing him
“Yes you too” said
Steve
“Happy, Happy
Christmas” Petra said planting a very exuberant kiss on his mouth
“Ditto” he replied
“A very happy Christmas
my friend” Stephanos said extravagantly and feigned to kiss him but shook his
hand instead and roared with laughter.
“Have a good one”
Steve said and also laughed.
When they had gone
Steve noticed it had started snowing lightly.
“So why can’t you say
Happy Christmas?” Holly asked
“I told you it was
going to snow” he said
“Don’t change the
subject” Holly persisted “why can’t you say Happy Christmas?”
“I can say it, I just
didn’t need to as everyone else said it”
He answered “I didn’t
want to wear the phrase out”
“Baubles” Holly said
Holly disappeared
upstairs for half an hour and when she came back down she had changed outfits
again.
She wore a different red
Dress but this time it had white trim and a much more daring neckline
But instead of the
customary stripy tights on her lovely legs she was wearing black tights with
holly motifs, which Steve thought was very appropriate as he watched her as he
wiped down the tables in readiness for the next wave of festive punters.
Steve thought from the
first time he saw her that she was quite cute but he thought he would have to separate
her from the Christmas paraphernalia if she was ever to progress in his eyes
any further than cute.
“I wish I’d asked Steph
to keep some Chili back” Holly said “I’m absolutely starving”
“Don’t worry” he said
“when Debbie arrives I’ll go over the road and get a take away”
“Ok Steve” she
concurred “but what takeaway”
“Your choice boss, my treat”
he replied
“What? Would that be a
Christmas treat?” Holly asked
“No just a treat” he
replied and smiled
Despite the weather Debbie
arrived right on time.
“Hi everyone” she said
as she went behind the bar
“The snows settling”
“Hi Debbie” Holly said
“So what’s your
poison?” Steve asked
“Pizza” She replied
very definitely “Pepperoni”
“Is that your final
answer?” he asked
“It is” she confirmed
“Have you eaten
Debbie?” he shouted
“Yes but I can eat a
slice or two” she replied
As he walked across
the road to the Vale Farm Pizza House he noticed the snow was falling faster
and would lay quite deep if it persisted.
Despite Debbie saying
she would only eat a piece or two he decided to get a pizza each, he’d seen
Debbie eat before and for a skinny bird she could really pack it away.
He had a long wait as
it seemed most of Abbeyvale were having pizza for tea.
When he got back to
the pub the clientele had almost doubled so he thought it was the beginning of
the evening rush and wasn’t sure if they’d have time to enjoy the pizzas, but he
needn’t have worried as it proved to be a false dawn because the rush never
materialized.
He was right about one
thing though, Debbie demolished a whole pizza.
By seven o’clock the
numbers hadn’t really changed even if most of the faces had.
And by eight o’clock with
the snow falling thick and fast in near blizzard conditions it was fairly
obvious punters weren’t going to be venturing out in any significant numbers.
Knowing that Debbie
had a three mile journey home Holly said
“I think you’d better
get off hon or you won’t get home at all”
“Are you sure Hol?”
Debbie asked
“Absolutely” She said
and handed Debbie her coat and her pay packet and gave her a kiss.
“Thanks Holly” she
said “Happy Christmas”
“Happy Christmas and
drive safely” she said “Text me when your home”
“Ok, happy Christmas Steve” she said
“And you Deb” he
replied
Holly had walked to
the door with Debbie to see her off and wished her a Happy Christmas again and then
stared out the window for a long time as she watched Debbie get underway.
When she returned to
the bar she said
“You’d better get off
as well Steve”
“No I’ll stay a bit
longer” he replied
“This might be your
last chance” she said “it’s coming down like billy-o”
“That’s ok” he said “I
can always kip in the lounge bar again if it comes to that”
It was a very strange
night because although there weren’t many customers they still managed to sell
quite a lot of beer because they had a succession of punter coming in for jugs
of ale, so much so that they ran out of jugs so they sold bottles instead.
But all in all it was
very quiet Christmas Eve so by 9 o’clock Holly said
“Right let’s have a
drink”
“I thought you didn’t
like the staff drinking on duty” he said
“What the hell its
Christmas” she replied and noticed that he visibly tensed at the word Christmas
She pulled him a pint
and poured a glass of wine for herself and then they sat on stools on the
punters side of the bar to drink them.
“Would you mind if I
crash here tonight Holly?” He asked
“Of course not, I’d
rather you crashed here than out there” She replied
“And it looks like my
plans for tomorrow will need to be revised, so we can spend the day together,
if you like”
“Ok thanks” he said
“that would be great”
They were well into their
second drink when Holly asked
“So what exactly is
the deal with you and Christmas?”
“Do we have to go
there?” he asked
“Yes we do” she said
“I’ve been watching you all this week and every time someone wishes you a happy
Christmas you react as if you’ve had an electric shock”
“Well I wouldn’t go
that far” Steve responded
“I would” she said but
he just shrugged
“Come on Steve” she
insisted “You are such an infuriating man, cough it up”
“Can’t you just leave
it alone?” he said
“You can’t tell me you
haven’t enjoyed working here this week” she said “or that you would have
preferred to be locked away in your flat pretending that Christmas was just a
bad dream”
Steve drained his
glass and went through the hatch and pulled himself another one.
“I don’t want to go
into all the details, suffice is to say that for me there was no happy little
boy waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve” he said painfully
“My childhood was unbearable
and Christmas was even more so”
Holly didn’t speak but
sat with head sympathetically inclined
“Not everyone was
raised by Mary Poppins” Steve said factiously
“That’s not very fare”
Holly said hurtfully
“And I suppose you
think my Christmases were happy?” she asked forcefully but Steve merely snorted
“I had a succession of
lousy Christmases when I was a child, my parents didn’t believe in it and so we
didn’t celebrate it,” she said vehemently but Steve still looked unconvinced
“My parents are
hippies, new age pagan hippies” She stated
“So Christmases for me
were spent in a VW Camper van on Salisbury plain, don’t get me wrong, I love my
parents and for me at the time it seemed perfectly normal and so I was perfectly
happy, it was only when my school friends told me what they did at Christmas
that I realized what I was missing out on”
Holly paused to gather
herself
“When I was older I
would at least get a present, though it was never wrapped in Christmas paper,
there was no Christmas tree, no baubles or tinsel, no garlands or colored
lights, and no Christmas magic, so in my childhood Christmas just didn’t exist”
“So now you’re over compensating”
Steve said and took another drink “Majorly”
“Not at all, I just
decided that feeling sorry for myself was not an option, and I refused to be
dictated to by the past” she said “I decided that instead of regretting the
Happy Christmas memories I missed out on as a child, I decided would make new
memories and stop looking back”
“I was 17 when I first
experience a proper Christmas, and I thought it was the most wonderful and magical
experience I had ever had and I’ve made sure I’ve enjoyed every single
Christmas since and I look forward to all the ones to come”
“There is no similarity
between our childhoods” he said bitterly
“Your childhood was a happy
one, it just didn’t include Christmas,
Whereas mine was
desperately unhappy and did”
“And you blame
Christmas for it being unhappy” Holly said
“I know that for you
life was very different, but I want to squeeze the most joy I can from every
moment of my life”
Steve just looked at
her as she took a brief pause
“Just as you should”
She said and put her hand on his knee and then at that moment the doors opened
and a new group of punters came through the door their heads and shoulders
dusted with snow.
He stood behind the
bar drying glasses as he watched Holly as she chatted to the new intake of clientele
in turn.
He liked it as she
walked from table to table, she had a gait that was easy on the eye and the way
the flared skirt moved across her lovely legs was quite sensual and then one by
one the meagre band of customers disappeared into the snowy night amidst a peel
of Happy Christmas wishes.
It was midnight and as
the last customer left for the night, Holly wished them a happy Christmas and
locked the front doors behind them and as she slipped the last bolt across and
drew the curtain.
Steve appeared behind
her just as the church bells at St Mary’s chimed midnight and Holly turned and
faced him.
“Merry Christmas
Holly” he said and kissed her
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