Chestnut Cottage is a
rather quaint Tudor thatched dwelling with its white walls and black oak
timbers, its rose covered lych-gate and a wishing well in the garden.
It is very much the
stereo typical “chocolate box” image of an English country cottage.
It’s a fairly remote
cottage situated at the end of Vicarage Lane some half a mile from the church
and about a mile from Appleby village itself.
My name is Harry Tyler
and I lived in the cottage for more than twenty years and by the time summer
came to an end I had been in residence another eight months after I died.
Not in a physical
sense, my body did not lie undiscovered, decomposing in my armchair; I was
found and dealt with in the proper manner.
At the time I was
happy enough to die, though I took no hand in it I hasten to add I died of
natural causes.
The last year of my
life was a mere existence after the death of my dear wife Rose.
We had no children of
our own and what other family that were left we were not close to.
Rose and I had been
happily married for 47 years and we retired to Appleby village and we had such
a nice life together.
She was my conduit to
the world; she was the interface that connected me to people.
After she was gone it was
like being stranded in a foreign land without a translator
To find myself alone
in the world at the age of seventy four filled me with dread so I withdrew into
the safety of the cottage and became very reclusive and only ventured out when
I had to.
So when I died I
thought I would be reunited with my Rose again. But I remained in the cottage
and she was nowhere to be found.
I spent every day
confined to the cottage and garden the same prison I confined myself to before
I died.
In many ways it was no
difference to when I was alive except I didn’t have to eat or drink.
Nor did I have to wash
or comb my hair or trim my beard and of course I didn’t feel anything.
I was exactly as I was
when I died, a fat, old man with white hair and a beard wearing the same
clothes I had on when I breathed my last.
I hoped to God I
didn’t have to spend eternity wearing that awful red jumper, I hated that
jumper and the only reason I was wearing it at all was that my favourite one
was still damp and I didn’t want to catch a chill.
If I had realised I
was going to pop my clogs anyway I would have worn the other one.
So there I stood a fat
white bearded old man wearing a red sweater that made me look like an off duty
Santa Claus.
I didn’t understand
why I was still there; I didn’t want to be there I wanted to be with Rose.
I thought there must
be something I had to do in order that I could move on but at that time I had
no idea what that something might have been.
On the first of
September I thought today is not like any other day, today things are going to
change.
I was standing in what
used to be the bedroom Rose and I shared and I was looking out through the
window at the unfolding scene below.
A removal truck had
just come to a stop in the lane and a small blue car parked a suitable distance
behind it.
The driver of the of
the car slowly got out and walked towards the gate pausing briefly to speak to
the removal men who were lowering the tail board, she walked through the gate
and down the long winding path.
She was an attractive
young woman late twenties or probably early thirties, petite with shoulder
length black hair that shimmered with a hint of blue like a raven’s wing and
she walked awkwardly with a stick in her right hand.
I recognised her at
once as one of fifteen or so prospective buyers who viewed the cottage during
the summer.
I thought to myself
that it would be nice to have company even if there would be no conversation it
would be a bit like watching a soap opera on TV.
I would have preferred
it to be a man; after all spying on a young woman would make me feel a bit like
a peeping Tom but beggars can’t be choosers.
Then as I watched her
slow progress down the path something terrible occurred to me what if she was
one of those awful naturist types who go about the house naked, where would I
look?
Then I laughed at the
stupid question I had asked myself it was obvious where I would look I might be
dead but I was still a man.
So I watched her
discreetly over the next week or so as she went about her unpacking and arranging
her furniture.
Due to my gentlemanly
disposition I declared her bedroom and the bathroom as off limits.
As I was in my ninth
month of limbo I was desperate for knowledge of the wider world and I was
bitterly disappointed that she didn’t have a television I really missed the TV
and she didn’t listen to the radio either,
I had hoped she might
at least take a daily paper but no the only paper to come through the door was
the local freebie.
She did have a
computer and I did look-over her shoulder while she was using it, very rude I
know and under normal circumstance I would never have done such a thing but I
thought to myself, needs must.
By the end of
September the computer had taught me a lot, I had established that her name was
Juliana Molesworth and she was a workaholic who lived on the computer, in fact
the computer was her life, it was her work, she shopped on it, she banked on
it, it was her library, it was her music collection and it was her only friend.
Apart from her visits
for physiotherapy she never went out and her only visitors were delivery
people, oh and a hairdresser.
This young woman was
making the same mistake that I had she was cutting herself off from the world
and making the cottage her prison.
Though I didn’t know
why she was withdrawing from the world I now knew what I had to do to move on I
had to save Juliana from my own fate.
I know that strictly
speaking as I was dead I couldn’t actually live with her but after living with
Juliana for five weeks it had become clear that she had gone to Chestnut
Cottage to cut herself off from the world and I knew from bitter experience
that course of action was pure folly.
My job was to show her
the error of her ways but I had absolutely know idea how I would achieve that.
For a start I was dead
and invisible although I could make myself visible without any difficulty the
problem was not if I could make her see me but when and how would she take it.
If she didn’t freak
out at having a resident ghost then she almost certainly would when she
discovered she had been sharing the cottage with an old man who could make
himself invisible.
I decided for the mean
time to just maintain a watching brief just to keep and eye on her until I
could figure out the best course of action.
I did allow her the
odd glimpse, a reflection in a mirror, a shape in the corner of her eye just to
test her nerve but she seemed un-phased by it or would dismiss it with a shrug.
She seemed at least on
the surface anyway to be quite a strong character she was clearly in a lot of
pain from her hip and she took strong pain killers for it.
She got around some of
the day without her stick but towards the end of the day she couldn’t walk
without it and she would rub her hip and you could see the pain etched into her
face.
Juliana had a pretty
face when it wasn’t screwed up in pain, with hypnotic green eyes and a sensual
mouth.
There were some faint
scars on her chin and some more on her forehead .but they did not detract from
her beauty.
It was getting towards
the end of the month and I was out in the garden, it had been a glorious late
summer / early autumn day, the sun would have felt quite warm had I been able
to feel it, and I was watching the sun set as I had so many times with Rose.
I missed her so much
and I was feeling sorry for myself so I stayed until the sun disappeared behind
the trees then I went back inside.
Juliana was sat
perched on the edge of an armchair and in front of her on the coffee table was
a large glass of wine and a pile of pain killers.
I feared the worse as
I sat in the empty armchair opposite her, to my mind booze and pills meant only
one thing.
Her hand was shaking
as it moved towards the tablets.
“Don’t do it” I said
“What?”
She looked around the
room.
“Who said that?”
“I did” I said as I appeared
She went stiff and
white and said
“Where did you come
from? How did you get in here?”
“Get out before I call
the police”
Then she grabbed the
empty pill bottle and through it at me.
It went through my
chest hitting the back of the chair before bouncing back on to the floor ending
up by her feet.
She had managed to
pull herself to her feet and was wielding her cane
But when she saw the
pill bottle come to a stop by her feet she flopped down into the chair and
said.
“Damn I’ve taken too
many and now I’m hallucinating”
“You’re not
hallucinating” I said quietly “I’m really here”
“No, No, that’s not
possible” She said and drained the wine glass then instantly refilled it.
“I’ve over dosed” She
was trembling and she held out a hand in front of her and watched it shake.
“Oh God now I’ve got
the tremors” She closed her eyes tight for half a minute then opened them and
stared at me.
“And you’re still here”
“You’re really not
hallucinating” I said quietly “I’m really here”
“Please don’t take your own life”
She took a double take
and was suddenly calmer as she considered what I had said.
“Take my own life?”
she said quizzically
Then she glanced down
at the pile of pills and the glass of wine.
“I’m not going to kill
myself”
I looked at her and
nodded and said “good” but I didn’t believe her and she could tell.
“I tipped them out to
count them because my leg is hurting so bad I thought I must have missed taking
one, but I haven’t damn it and I can’t have another one for two hours” She said
impatiently
That made sense to me,
and then I felt foolish and I had exposed myself for nothing.
“I can see you believe
me now” She said “So now tell me who you are or what you are?”
“My name is Harry
Tyler”
“I know that name this
was your house wasn’t it?”
“Yes”
“But you’re dead, you
died here” She took a large gulp of wine “Are you a ghost or an angel?”
“I think I’m just a
ghost, I haven’t been anywhere to become an angel”
“So why are you here?
Why haven’t you gone to where dead people go?”
She drained her glass
and filled it again quickly.
“I not really sure” I
lied
There was silence for
a few moments before she asked
“Is there a heaven?”
“I don’t know if there
is a heaven or not, I’ve always believed that there was”
I paused for a moment
“My wife Rose died in
this cottage and she has obviously gone somewhere”
“God how many people
have died here? Is it cursed or something?”
She had another glug
of wine.
Then a look of panic
came over her face.
“Have you been here
all the time, Ever since I moved in I mean?”
Then she flushed deep
red.
“You haven’t been
letching at me in the bath?”
I laughed and said.
“No it’s alright don’t
worry, I haven’t been letching at you even though you are a very attractive
young woman”
She looked doubtful.
So I continued.
“I am painfully aware
that this is not my home anymore and as such there are areas that I have made
off limits; I am a very discreet ghost”
She sighed and looked
reassured.
We sat in silence for
a while then she fell asleep in the armchair.
For the next two days
I didn’t show myself to her partly because I thought it might be better for her
to digest the knowledge of my existence for a while before I spoke to her again
and partly because I was angry at myself for misreading the situation the
previous evening and alerting her to my presence unnecessarily.
I had acted on the
spur of the moment but in truth it hadn’t upset my plans in anyway chiefly
because I didn’t have a plan to upset.
Of course there was
always the possibility she might think she had imagined the whole thing as a
result of the wine and painkillers.
I looked in on her
from time to time and apart from the obvious signs of a hangover and her limp
she seemed ok.
Although she did tend
to suddenly look over her shoulder for no apparent reason.
Three days after, for
want of a better phrase, I exposed myself to Juliana was, it was one of those
wonderful early autumn days that lifts your spirits but can also take you by
surprise when you step out into it as the sun can deceive you into thinking the
summer hasn’t quite surrendered and then the bitter October wind stings you.
I couldn’t tell which
it might be as it looked like it might be quite warm but I couldn’t tell
firstly as I was inside looking out and secondly because I was dead and
couldn’t feel anything.
Juliana had been
upstairs dressing as it was one of her physio days and she was just hobbling
her way downstairs and I was beginning to think that she had indeed passed off
our encounter as an hallucination but as she picked up her car keys and opened
the front door she called back behind her with out turning around.
“Bye Harry”
I didn’t reply because
it caught me by surprise
But I don’t think she
was looking for an answer though it was difficult to tell as there was no
feeling behind the words.
Was it a “Bye Harry”
see you later or “Bye Harry” I can’t live in a house with a ghost?
Or perhaps “Bye Harry”
are you really there?
She was gone all day
and I was beginning to think I had scared her away as it was unusual for her to
be quite so late and it had been dark for some time when her car pulled up
outside the cottage.
It was a little after
seven when she came in through the door her face was tired and strained and she
moved uncomfortably.
I had seen that pained
look before in the weeks I had been observing her.
It was as a result of
her physiotherapy sessions where they worked her hard and she suffered for it,
but it was working she was getting better.
I had seen the change
in her over the weeks and she was getting better becoming stronger and less
reliant on her stick but her sessions left her exhausted and in a lot of pain.
She moved slowly over
to the armchair and collapsed into it, after a few moments she rummaged in her
bag and brought out a bottle of water then she reached onto the table and
picked up her pills, her hand was shaking as she opened the bottle, she put one
in her mouth and took a long drink of water then she leaned back and sighed.
She closed her eyes
and was drifting off to sleep.
I sat in the chair
opposite her and spoke to her.
“Juliana!”
She didn’t respond.
“Juliana!”
“What do you want?”
she said without opening her eyes. “And don’t call me Juliana, only my Mother
calls me Juliana”
“What should I call
you then?”
She opened her eyes
and looked straight at me.
“Julie is fine, but
never Jules I hate that”
“Ok” I said
She closed her eyes
again.
“Julie”
“What?” She responded
impatiently.
“You need to go to
bed”
“I can sleep here, its
fine now leave me alone”
“Julie you need to go
to bed”
“Leave me alone or
I’ll call Ghostbusters and they’ll come and Hoover you up”
“They don’t exist” I
said
“Nor do you” she
replied
“But I’m here though,
and I’m not going to shut up until you go to bed”
She opened one eye.
“That’s really unkind”
she said with surprise.
“It’s for your own
good” I said sagely
She looked unconvinced
but struggled to her feet muttering under her breath.
Then she started
slowly towards the stairs.
I felt guilty because
it was clearly painful for her to walk but I knew it would be so much better
for her to get a good rest in bed.
I wished I could help
her but I was unable to, I hadn’t mastered any of the physical stuff when I was
in the cottage on my own it didn’t seem worth training myself to open a door
when it was easier to walk through it.
Since I had had a
house guest or perhaps landlady would be more precise as I was actually the
house guest I had been practising with some small success but propelling a
person, even a small person, up a flight of stairs was beyond my capabilities.
“I can’t believe that
I’m being haunted by Casper’s Granddad and he is making me do this” She said as
she struggled up the stairs.
As she reached the top
she paused briefly to catch her breath then she headed for her room.
“Tomorrow I’m calling
an exorcist” she shouted.
A few minutes later
all was silent and in an instant I left the sitting room and transported myself
to her bedroom.
It was the first time
I’d been upstairs since she moved in and she had made the room very nice.
She was lying on her
back fully clothed and sleeping peacefully on her bed.
On the trunk at the
foot of her bed was a throw which with a great deal of effort I managed to
cover the lower half of her with it and I was just about to continue when her
hand reached down and pulled it the rest of the way up and she turned onto her
side with the throw wrapped round her shoulders.
That left me with the
simple task of flicking the light switch something that I had mastered.
The next day was a
dull and dreary early October day and it was raining hard, the rain beating
against the window glass like someone was throwing handfuls of gravel.
Julie didn’t come
downstairs until 11 o’clock, I had heard her moving about upstairs from about
ten then I could hear the bath running so after more than twelve hours sleep
and a hot bath she made her way down the stairs in a good deal less pain than
her ascent the night before.
She was bright and
breezy and had real vitality about her such as I had not seen in her before.
She was so alive, so
vibrant, she was smiling!
“Harry?” she called as
she headed for the kitchen.
I said nothing.
“Harry?” She called
again as she entered the kitchen
“Where are you?”
I appeared suddenly in
front of her.
“Oh” She exclaimed and jumped then she
laughed.
“I’m here” I said
“What’s all the noise about?”
“It’s enough to wake
the dead” I said and smiled.
“Yes very funny” She
was smiling too.
I studied her face it
was a very pretty face when you removed the pain that was normally etched into
it, what a difference from the night before.
It was nice to see the
beauty of the person when the bitterness and pain were removed or at least
masked temporarily.
The girl before me
today was nothing like the one I had been observing for the past month.
It was clearly only a
type of euphoria which would undoubtedly wear off.
“I hated you last night”
She said looking straight into my eyes “Making me climb those stairs”
“But today I feel the
best I’ve felt since before the accident”
She had not mentioned
the accident before.
“I could kiss you” she
continued.
“Well that would be
lovely but there is nothing to kiss, you’d fall straight through me and head
butt the cooker”
She blew me a kiss
instead.
“I’m glad you are
feeling better”
“I know that it won’t
last all day but for now I feel terrific”
“You’ll be dancing by
Christmas” I said
“Don’t spoil it by
talking about Christmas I hate Christmas”
“Why?”
“I will tell you
another time I don’t want anything to spoil my mood”
The pain did return
later that day though not as severe and the next morning the bitterness was
back and for the rest of the month she did battle with her demons,
Julie had good days
and bad days but over all the demons won.
She still kept herself
to herself only leaving the house for physio appointments, which were paying
dividends, and her only visitors were delivering one thing or another.
The majority of her
time was spent on the computer which she used for her work, something involving
pages and pages of gobbledygook, and as her window on the world, a world in
which she did not have to participate but could merely be a spectator.
Unless she called on
me I chose my moments to appear trying to gauge the right time in between her
black moods.
It was while Julie was
on the computer, on one of her good days that I chose to show myself.
She was ordering her
groceries online when I dropped in.
“Don’t forget the
sweets for Halloween” I said
“Oh God not Halloween”
She replied.
“Don’t tell me you
hate Halloween as well”
“Of course I hate
Halloween, why wouldn’t I, all those ghastly trick or treaters begging door to
door”
She was bordering on
rant mode and I was beginning to think I had picked the wrong time to call.
“Then there are the
implied threats of violence and vandalism”
I looked at her and
raised my eyebrows and she stopped and laughed
“You’re such a happy
soul” I said
“Well why do you like
it then?”
“I don’t really”
“So why do you want me
to buy sweets? Did Rose like it is that why?”
Neither Rose nor I
were fans of Halloween before we moved to Appleby but it was just part of
living in the village.
The thing about Rose
is that she was a community person and being part of the community was
important to her.
We liked the way it
was done, it was so different from our past experience, all the children would
meet at the church hall and would go round in small groups each group being accompanied
by adults then they would all go back to the village hall and have a party with
all the traditional Halloween games and there were prizes for the best
costumes.
“No not exactly” I
didn’t elaborate.
“You’re so odd” She
said and turned back towards her computer.
“I was mean to them
last year” I blurted.
“Who?”
“The children, I
wasn’t very nice to them” I looked down at the floor
“I think I made one
little girl cry”
“Oh”
“I feel ashamed of my
behaviour, Rose would have been so mad”
“Well there’s nothing
you can do about it now” She said.
“Hopefully the kids
will remember their bad experience and not come knocking this year, so no
sweets required”
She punctuated the end
of the sentence with an Oliver Hardy style nod, then she smiled and got up and
headed towards the bathroom.
I moved over to the
computer I looked at the screen and observed that she was at the check out.
Due to much practise,
after all, its not as if I have anything else to do, I had mastered moving and
manipulating things over the preceding weeks.
So I sat down and took
hold of the mouse, I quickly returned to where Julie had been shopping and
found a large tub of Halloween sweets and clicked quantity required 2 and then
add to basket, then returned her to the check out just as I heard the toilet
flush.
Then I went and sat
down again feeling rather pleased with myself.
I was not totally
unfamiliar with computers but I had never shopped on line but I had watched
Julie enough times to pick up what to do.
When she returned she
completed her shopping transaction and was none the wiser.
The next day when the
shopping arrived, the driver unloaded the bags onto the step and Julie signed
for the delivery and the driver left.
It was only after she
had carried the bags into the kitchen and began to unpack them that she noticed
the 2 large tubs of Halloween candy.
“HARRY!” she shouted
and thumped one of the tubs onto the counter.
“HARRY!”
“You bellowed milady”
“Was this you?” she
said pointing at the sweets.
“You ordered them
after all” I said acting surprised “That’s really sweet”
“No I did NOT” She
corrected me.
“Well it wasn’t me” I
said “I wouldn’t know how, you must have done it subconsciously”
“I am not the sort of
person who would buy sweets for the little…..”
I interrupted her
“Well obviously
subconsciously you’re a very nice person” And disappeared.
I stayed out of her
way for the next couple of days and I spent my time practising.
I had mastered the
fine manipulations such as flicking switches, unfolding a handkerchief and
picking up a pen.
I could even write
though my handwriting was still a bit shaky.
What I wasn’t very
good at was moving large or heavy objects so I was in the back garden trying to
move the wheelbarrow.
Unfortunately when I
eventually succeeded in moving it I managed to frighten a passing dog walker
who was startled by the sight of a wheelbarrow moving along the path under its
own power.
So I went indoors, I
found Julie was sat in her chair reading some documents, I was considering
whether it was safe to appear when I noticed the tubs of sweets were stood on a
chair next to the door in readiness for the evenings visitors.
I knew that beneath
that thick veneer of bitterness and cynicism there resided a good human being.
I deduced that the
fact the sweets were now sitting on a chair and not in the dustbin meant that
she was in one of her brighter moods.
I decided I would
appear but that I wouldn’t mention the sweets just to be on the safe side.
“Hello”
She looks up from her
papers then set them on the table in front of her.
“So you’ve decided to
show yourself”
“What do you mean?
I’ve been busy” I said feigning an indignant attitude.
“Just because I’m dead
doesn’t mean I don’t have demands on my time”
“Yes I saw you playing
with wheelbarrow”
“So did Mary Rudd” I
said sheepishly
“Who’s Mary Rudd?”
“Retired postmistress”
“And she saw you?” She
asked smiling.
“No she saw a self
propelled wheelbarrow; she’s probably having a large gin to recover as we
speak”
She was laughing now.
“Has anyone else seen
you?” Julie asked.
“No and I only
revealed myself to you because….”
“You thought I was
going to top myself”
“Yes”
“I hope you think
better of me now?”
I nodded.
“I do have low
moments, and the world is a shitty place, but on the whole I prefer life”
“I wish you’d start
living it then”
“What do you mean?”
“If you prefer life
why don’t you go out into the world and live it”.
“You’re just jealous
that I’m still alive and not dead like you” She said viciously
“No you’re not dead
you’re alive but you’re not living”
“You live your life
though a computer screen” I continued
“You never meet
people; you never interact with other human beings, you have everything
delivered to your door”
She was about to
interrupt but I pressed on before she had the chance.
“And if you could cut
your own hair you would never see anyone at all”
“I have physio” she
corrected me
“And what happens when you don’t need that
anymore?”
She snatched up her
papers and scowled.
“I don’t need life
tips from a ghost” she spat out the words like venom.
Then she turned her
back on me.
“Please don’t do what
I did, don’t imprison yourself in this cottage”
I pleaded but she
ignored me, she was angry with me but not as angry as I was at myself. I blew
it I pushed to hard and she pushed back.
I could have got my
point across with more subtlety, I was making progress but now I’d gone
backwards.
I was trapped in the
cottage and its environs, I was earth bound because I shut myself away to
wallow in self pity after the death of my wife Rose.
I had come to the
conclusion that I must help another person in order to “move on” and rejoin my
Rose.
It would have been
easier if I had done it while I was still alive I could have gone off and
sought out someone to help, but as I was dead I had to wait for someone to come
to me.
But then if I had
lived out my last months in the world in the same way as I lived the rest of my
life I wouldn’t have been in the mess I was in.
Or maybe this was how
it was meant to be, it was my destiny to help someone, Which is where Julie
came in, she had come to the cottage to escape the world.
At that moment I
didn’t know why and I would need to know that before I could help her and I was
determined to help her whether she liked it or not.
But to find out what I
needed to know I needed to be on good terms with her which was not helped by my
clumsy handling of the situation.
So it was with some
trepidation, after our angry exchange, that I went into the sitting room later
in the day.
I feared she might
take out the anger she felt towards me and channel it at the innocent
revellers.
To be on the safe side
I remained invisible until I had assessed the lay of the land.
I half expect to see
Julie sitting in a rocking chair swigging from a whisky bottle and
Catapulting sweets at
the trick or treaters heads.
But she was humming, I
hadn’t witnessed her humming before, she did impatient tapping of her fingers,
she did grinding her teeth but I had never witnessed humming.
Humming was a little
unnerving however I took a gamble that it was safe so I materialized.
“You’re humming” I
said
She jumped, I had
startled her and she was clearly flustered, then her face went scarlet.
“No I’m not” she said
indignantly.
“You were humming, I
heard you”
“What you heard was me
clearing my throat” Julie said without conviction so she changed the subject.
“Anyway where have you
been, have you been keeping out of my way”
“I thought it
advisable”
Before she had chance
to comment she was alerted to approach of trick or treaters coming down the
long winding path.
At this time of the
day Julie would normally have to employ her stick to move with any kind of
speed around the house but I noticed it was leant discretely against the wall
behind the door out of sight of anyone who might be standing on the step if the
door was open.
She pulled the curtain
back a couple of inches and peered out.
“They’re coming, what
do I do?” she asked urgently
“Well” I began.
“Oh come on, you got
me into this mess”
“Calm down you’ll have
a stroke” I said
Julie took a deep
breath and waited for me to speak.
“All the children will
have a bag for their sweets” I told her.
“Yes, yes” she said
impatiently.
“Well you put a small
handful of sweets into each bag but don’t be to generous to early or you wont
have enough to go round everyone”
“Ok” she said and
nodded.
“But first you have to
open the door” I said inclining my head towards the closed door.
“Oh God yes” she
laughed nervously “that would help”
Julie opened the door
and was met with a chorus of “TRICK OR TREAT” from a small group of excited
witches, warlocks, ghosts and ghouls.
“Wow look at you all”
she said “What brilliant costumes”
“Ok who’s first?” she
asked as she picked up one of the sweet tubs and scooped up a handful.
At the back of the
group keeping order was a tall dark haired man, wearing a flat cap and leather
jacket, Julie caught his eye briefly and smiled and he smiled back, then
carried on but she kept glancing in his direction, he was in his thirties she
estimated.
Soon she had deposited
a handful of sweets into every bag and the group moved back up the path.
“Goodbye Miss
Molesworth” the tall man said and smiled.
She smiled back and
then looked self consciously in my direction.
Despite herself she
was still smiling as she shut the door.
“You didn’t smile at
the children did you” I asked
“You’ll scar them for
life”
“Oh and which poor
child was it that you made cry” she retorted
“Or was it someone
else you were smiling at?”
Julie blushed deeply
just as the door bell rang.
“Saved by the bell” I
said
Julie opened the door
and repeated the exercise, and then another three times until the sweet tubs
were empty and all the village children had had their share.
She closed the door
and reached for her cane.
“I’m exhausted”
“You enjoyed it
though?”
She gave me a stern
sideways glance and I could see pain in her features.
“Ask me later after
I’ve had a drink”
Then with a bottle of
wine and a glass she hobbled towards her armchair.
“Will you join me? “
She asked smiling “Oh I forgot you can’t”
“Oh that’s cruel”
After her first glass
of wine she began to relax and after the second she had lowered her guard.
“You had a good time
didn’t you?” I ventured.
“Ok yes I enjoyed it
though I’ll deny it tomorrow”
“And the smile?”
“I admit he was very
handsome, for a yokel”
“His name is Paul
Warwick and he’s not so much a yokel more a country squire”
“Really” She said with
disinterest
“So which of the
little darlings were his children?”
“None of them” I
answered “He’s not married”
“OH!” she exclaimed
then replaced it with a rather muted “oh”
After another glass I
thought it was safe to raise the subject of this afternoon’s exchange of views.
“Am I forgiven?” I
asked.
“What for?” She
slurred
It became apparent I
had left it one glass to late for a sensible conversation I had forgotten to
take into account that she hadn’t eaten since lunch.
“This afternoon”
“Of course, you spoke
very wisdomous words”
“Widomous?”
“Yes you are very
wisdomly” she said as she leant forward to raise her glass to me and slopping
half of it on the table
“I think you mean
wise”
“Well I was close” she
almost said slopping more wine this time down her blouse.
“Time to get you to
bed I think”
“You cheeky old ghost
you” She said trying to get out of the chair.
Once she managed to
get vertical her bad leg gave way and I had to catch her before she hit the
floor.
It was a good job I
had been practising otherwise I would never have been able to help her it would
have appeared as a very comical scene as I had a firm hold on Julie yet when
she tried to hold onto me her hands kept going through me.
“You’re a difficult
man to get to grips with Harry” she remarked with a puzzled expression on her
face.
“Well you concentrate
on staying upright and I will propel you up stairs to bed”
“Ok”
So with her tongue
sticking out the side of her mouth and one eye closed tight shut she managed to
adopt a stance which kept her more or less upright.
I then gave her
instructions “Left, Right, Left Right” until we had made the journey up to her
room then I guided her onto her bed.
“I hope you’re going
to behave like a gentleman” she said and smiled still with one eye shut tight.
“You’re quite safe,
I’m dead remember” I replied as I covered her.
“That’s the story of
my life” She said
“What is?”
“Trying to raise the
dead in the bedroom” this caused her to explode with a laugh so dirty it
wouldn’t have been out of place in a Carry On film.
She was still
chuckling when I turned out the light.
“Good night Julie”
“Night Harry”
The next morning I was
sat in the kitchen reading the local newspaper, when she walked in, surprisingly
bright though she was walking quite stiffly and she was a little shamefaced.
“Good morning Julie
and how are we this morning?”
“I’m fine” she said
shortly then she added.
“Was I very
embarrassing last night?”
“Not very” I replied.
“Oh God, I was embarrassing
though?”
“You were very funny
it was nice to see you happy”
“Thanks to you” She
said quietly.
.“I beg your pardon?”
I looked up from the paper quiet shocked.
But she was already on
her way out the door for her physio appointment.
It was late afternoon
when she returned and she was moving only a little more stiffly than she had
been when she left that morning.
“Didn’t you go to
physio?” I asked
“Yes I did and it was
the best session I’ve had” She replied “I think I’m turning the corner at last”
“Excellent”
“Good news and bad
news from the doctor though”
“Oh?”
“The good news is he’s
changed my medication which is stronger but I only need to take as and when
needed”
“And the bad news?”
“Strictly no alcohol
with these ones” She said holding up an innocuous looking brown bottle.
“A small price to pay
though” I said encouragingly
“That’s easily said by
someone who can’t hold their drink” she said then laughed like a drain.
Her mirth was
interrupted by a knock at the door.
“Quick hide” She said
“Ok” I said jumping
up.
“Wait a minute I don’t
have to hide I’m a ghost, I’m invisible”
Julie looked at me and
put one finger up to her lips indicating I should shut up even though she was
the only one who could hear me, then she open the door.
When the door opened
it revealed a very wet Paul Warwick.
“Oh look it’s the
yokel” I said
“Hello Miss
Molesworth” the yokel said
“Please call me Julie
and do come in out of the rain””
“Thank you”
He stepped in and
Julie closed the door.
“He’s dripping on your
carpet”
“I hope I’m not
disturbing you” Paul said.
“No not at all” She
replied
“Good, its just I
thought I could hear voices before”
“That was probably the
radio” She lied
“Good” he said
unconvinced.
“Quick change the
subject” I suggested.
“Can I offer you a hot
drink?”
“No thank you I can’t
stop I’m afraid, I just called to see if you were aware of the November 5th
bonfire party?”
“No I wasn’t” Julie
answered
“Well we run a coach
from the church hall over to Little Trotwood every year; they have an organised
display, would you be interested?”
“That’s very kind of
you but…”
“Go on say yes” I
urged
“…my leg isn’t really
up to it…”
“Liar”
“…. It’s not good in
the damp weather”
“That’s a shame” Paul
said sincerely “It’s always a very good display and they have the best hog
roast in the county”
“Thank you anyway”
Julie added
“If you change your
mind just give me a call” He said reaching into his coat and bringing out a
card which he handed to her.
“I will”
She opened the door
again and Paul stepped out into the rain again.
“No problem, bye”
“Good bye and thanks
again” Julie said closing the door.
“Coward” I said after
she had shut the door.
“I don’t like
fireworks that’s all” she said pulling a face.
“Coward”
“I’m not a coward” She
replied indignantly.
.”What else do you
call it? He’s attracted to you and you to him”
“Nonsense” Julie said
clearly flustered
“And even if there
were any attraction I don’t need anyone in my life”
“Everyone needs
someone”
“Rubbish, in the end
people always let you down”
“You can’t tar
everyone with the same brush” I said
“I don’t need anyone
Harry, I’m perfectly happy on my own”
“Pauls a good man”
“It doesn’t matter how
they start out in the end they always let you down, trust me”
I started to speak
“Harry lets just agree
to disagree shall we?”
I knew I was fighting
a losing battle so meekly I said “Ok”
“Good now I’m off to
have a bath”
Despite my losing the
“battle of the bonfire night party” I knew that the war was far from lost and
that I had made great progress and what was now more important than anything
else was to pick very carefully the battles I chose to fight.
A victory however
small was still a victory and therefore was invaluable.
So during the month I
chipped away at the immovable object that was Julie in small subtle ways and I
felt I was making some progress but as well as I felt I was doing I couldn’t quantify it.
I couldn’t measure my
success unless I could get Julie and Paul in the same place at the same time.
I had absolutely no
idea how I could manufacture a circumstance that would bring the two of them
together and I was left with the feeling that it would take divine intervention
to get them together and as it turned out I was right.
We were almost at the
end of November and Julie had made so much progress she was hardly using the
stick in the house even to get upstairs although she still took it with her
whenever she went out but it was extremely unlikely that she would ever be free
of it entirely.
She had made progress
in other ways as well, she seemed less frightened of the outside world and had
started to take a daily newspaper again and one morning a radio appeared in the
kitchen.
We had taken to
spending every evening together where we spent the time playing chess or cards
and we would chat casually on a variety of subjects though I would often try
and steer the conversation into areas I wanted to explore as part of my long
term strategy but quite often we would just listen to the radio.
It was during one of
these very pleasant evenings that I came to enjoy greatly that events took a
change of direction.
There had been a
ferocious autumn storm battering the cottage all day, the storm was so bad we
had to switch the radio off because the reception was so poor and it was as we
were sitting playing chess when there was an almighty rumble and crash outside.
“What the hell was
that?” Julie said gripping the arm of the chair until her knuckles went white.
“I’m not sure” I said
standing up. “I’ll go and investigate”
“Well be careful
Harry”
“Unless it’s the
Ghostbusters I think I’m probably safe” I said giving her a bemused look.
I transported myself
outside and for the first time since my death I was not sorry to be dead the
weather was just awful with a fearsome storm was blowing the rain horizontally
and I was grateful not to have to feel it
It didn’t take long to
find the source of the almighty crash; the gale had uprooted an old horse
chestnut tree and dumped it into Julie’s garden missing the cottage by a few
feet.
I walked the full
length of the tree to find the root end and which sprang up out of the darkness
about ten feet the other side of the crushed wooden fence that marked the
boundary between Julies garden and the land owner responsible for the removal
of the fallen tree, Paul Warwick.
I smiled to myself and
then looked up to the heavens and nodded in admiration.
When I reappeared in
the cottage the room seemed to be empty.
“Is it safe?” Julie
asked.
I couldn’t see where
the voice was coming from at first then I found Julie hiding behind her
armchair wielding her cane like a weapon.
“What are you doing
behind there?” I asked incredulously “Of course it’s safe”
Then she came out from
her hiding place suddenly feeling rather foolish.
“I was scared” she
added meekly.
“Well there’s no need
to be” I reassured her
“What was that noise
then?” She asked urgently
“The storm has brought
a tree down and the good news is it missed the cottage but your shed is only
good for firewood”
“Is that all? I knew
it would be something simple like that” Suddenly confident again.
“What should I do
now?”
“Well have a mug of
cocoa and go to bed” I said.
“No about the tree I
mean”
“There’s nothing much
you can do about it tonight, just have a good nights sleep and phone Paul in
the morning”
“Paul?” She asked
coyly.
“Yes Paul Warwick, it’s
his tree, he’ll arrange everything”
“Oh” she said
disinterestedly
“But don’t worry you
wont have to see him he’ll do everything by phone”
“Oh” She said trying
to hide her disappointment but failing.
The next morning Julie
and I went out to inspect the damage in daylight, Julie in her dressing gown
and wellies and me in my revolting red jumper, though Julie couldn’t get very
far due to the tangle of branches so she went back inside.
When I had finished my
inspection I went back inside myself and found Julie standing in the kitchen,
her mobile phone in front of her, tapping the counter with the edge of a
business card.
“He wont bite you
know” I offered “Unless you want him to”
I laughed to myself
but she apparently didn’t hear my little joke.
“I said he wont bite
you know”
“What? I’m not worried about talking to him that’s a
preposterous suggestion”
“So what’s the
problem?”
“There isn’t a
problem; I was just thinking that’s all”
Then she picked up her
mobile and keyed in the number.
“Hello Its Julie
Molesworth here is that Mr Warwick?”
“Ok Paul”
All the time she was
talking she was fiddling with her hair with her spare hand which amused me
greatly.
“I’m fine but I have a
bit of a problem I have a rather large tree laying in my garden”
She noticed me
watching her, scowled and turned her back to me.
“No the house is fine”
“Yes”
“No”
“Oh Yes that would be
fine”
“Ok thank you bye”
She switched off the
phone and put it down.
“Well that sounded
quite amicable, not scary at all” I said.
”I wasn’t scared to
talk to him” she retorted.
“So what was the
outcome?”
“He’s coming round
this morning” She said matter of factly “in about an hour”
“Excellent” I said.
“That is good news”
Julie nodded her
agreement.
“And I think he’s just
going to love your outfit”
She gave me a puzzled
look, then glanced at her dressing gown and muddy wellies, and looked back at
me again though the puzzled expression had been replaced by panic.
“Oh God” She exclaimed
then kicked off left boot so it flew across the kitchen, a technique she was
unable to employ with the other boot due to he bad leg.
So she sat down and
lifted her foot off the floor and shouted.
“BOOT! QUICK!”
“Alright calm down” I
said as I removed her boot.
“Yes calm” she took a
deep breath “Calm is good”
Then she jumped up and
rushed out of the kitchen, she was still unable to run despite the progress she
had made but she covered the ground quite swiftly anyway.
She reappeared forty
five minutes later looking much more presentable in a smart skirt and blouse
and I noticed she was wearing makeup.
“Is that better?” she
asked.
“Very smart but you
really didn’t need to go to all that trouble for me”
“I didn’t” she replied
shortly.
“I did it for….” She
tailed off
“For Paul Warwick? Is
that what you were going to say? Why on earth would you care what he thinks?”
“Shut up” she said and
tried to punch my arm playfully but not for the first time her hand went right
through me and she nearly fell over.
“That’s really
annoying Harry” She said when she had straightened herself up “I hate it when
that happens”
A little over ten
minutes later Paul Warwick’s Landrover pulled up in the lane outside the
cottage.
Julie was looking out
the window as he got out of the vehicle and opened the gate but instead of
coming to the front door he went straight to the site of the damage and out of
her line of sight so she went into the other room which afforded her a better
look and she watched on as he clambered up onto the fallen tree and then he
disappeared down the other side.
“I don’t think he’s
going to come in” she said still trying to catch site of him amongst the
branches.
“Oh he’ll be in when
he’s done” I said
It was obvious, if
only to me, that he hadn’t rushed round to the cottage on a job he could quite
easily have delegated only to go off again without fulfilling the real purpose
for his visit which was clearly to see Julie..
Julie spent the next
five minutes craning her next to get a better view then she moved away from the
window and headed back to the kitchen just in time to see him heading back up
the path to the gate.
“He’s off now” She
said unable to hide her disappointment.
“What?”
She went back into the
sitting room and sat down in her chair and I just didn’t know what to say I
couldn’t believe I’d got it so wrong I would have put money on it.
I sat down in the
chair opposite her and tried to think of something clever to say.
“Well it’s probably
for the best; it was bound to end in tears”
“That’s not helping”
she said flatly
I was just about to
say something full of wisdom when there was a knock at the door.
Julie opened the door
to find a rather dishevelled Paul Warwick the other side of it.
After a brief exchange
of polite greetings Julie invited Paul into the kitchen with the promise of
coffee and then she turned to look in my direction and mouthed “Not you”
So I sat alone in the
sitting room for the next twenty minutes trying to decipher words from the low
rumble of conversation interspersed with small bursts of girlish laughter.
I had just come to the
conclusion that as I was a ghost I could have been in the room with them all
along and she would never have known when the kitchen door opened and Paul
walked through.
“So the guys will be
here first thing tomorrow” He said as he opened the front door.
“And I will see you
later in the week”
“Ok thanks Paul bye”
Julie said then closed the door.
“Well?” I said
“Like you weren’t in
the room eavesdropping all the time” She implied
“No I was not” I said
suitably indignant even though I would have been if I’d thought about it
sooner.
“Oh sorry Harry”
She went on to fill me
in on the bones of the conversation doubtless leaving out any of the
flirtyness.
Paul was sending a
crew round to cut and clear the timber which due to the size of the tree would
take two or three days.
Then he would return
and assess the rest of the damage to the garden, something else that could
easily be delegated.
The next day was the 1st
of December and the men were hard at work cutting up the fallen tree.
I thought to myself as
Julie came down the stairs that she looked like a different person, her body
had been getting stronger day by day for weeks but now there appeared to be a
new spark within her, a new hope.
I just hoped I was
right about her and Paul because I feared if that spark were to be extinguished
again it would never relight.
I had just returned to
my reading when she said “Hi Harry they’re a bit noisy aren’t they?”
“Harry!
“HARRY?”
When I didn’t answer
she picked up her cane and poked the book I was reading.
“Oh Hello” I said.
“I’ve been talking to
you, are you deaf?”
“Not exactly I turned
the sound off so I didn’t have to listen to the racket outside”
“You can do that?”
I nodded.
“Cool” She said
“Unfortunately I can’t do that so I’m going shopping for the day”
“Great don’t forget
the decorations”
“Decorations for
what?”
“Christmas” I said
“It’s the 1st of December the advent calendars go up today”
“No, no, no” She said
firmly “I don’t do Christmas”
“Why not?” I said
shocked
“Why don’t you like
Christmas?”
“Well let me see, it’s
a waste of money for one thing”
“And?”
“The whole thing is
just a sham, people don’t even believe in what they’re celebrating and if you
believe what the papers say half the country don’t even believe Christ existed”
She stated angrily though at the time I was unsure quite what she was angry
about whether it was the season itself or peoples ignorance.
“Well that’s just
nonsense we know from the Romans that Christ existed, they were great record
keepers the Romans, people might argue that he isn’t the son of God or that God
himself doesn’t exist but they can’t deny Christ’s existence” I said but I
don’t think she was really listening, it would not be the first time I’d lost
the attention of the person I was conversing with, boring conversation was a
bad habit of mine throughout my life and apparently after my death as well.
“And what do you
believe?” She asked more calmly.
“I believe in the
whole nine yards, Father Son and holy ghost” I said trying to lighten the mood
without success.
“What about you?”
“I must believe in him
because I hate him so much”
With that she slipped
on her coat and picked up her bag.
“I’ll see you later”
she said and left.
I knew from the start
of this exercise that she had some serious issues in her life but what I didn’t
know was that Christmas was one of them if in fact it was.
Perhaps her dislike of
Christmas was actually masking something deeper, only time would tell unless I
were to push the right buttons.
Two days later the
last of the timber was removed revealing the full extent of the damage to the
boundary fence, the garden shed and what used to be the lawn, miraculously the
wishing well sustained only minor damage.
Paul was on site and
talking on his mobile organising the next phase which would be to remove all
the debris and replace the fencing erecting a new shed and generally tidying
up. The new lawn would have to wait until spring and the replacement shrubs and
plants would be replaced at the same time.
Julie went out into
the garden just as he was finishing his phone call.
I was standing by the
remains of what used to be the shed, the shed erected by my own two hands, I
was amazed it had lasted twenty years I never did master DIY.
I was too far away to
hear what Paul and Julie were saying but they were headed back inside the house.
I was already in the
kitchen when they arrived.
“We’re cutting
Christmas trees on the estate at the moment I will have them cut you one by way
of an apology, what size would you like?”
“I don’t really do
Christmas” She said “It’s just an empty commercial festival”
“But thanks anyway” She added.
“Oh and when did you
become so cynical?”
“From the moment I
discovered Father Christmas doesn’t exist”
“Who says he doesn’t?”
“Ho, ho, ho” she said
sarcastically
“I think everybody has
a little bit of Christmas in their heart” Said Paul
“That would be tiny in
my case”
Paul looked a bit
deflated after she said that but perked up when she added.
“A meal would be a
perfectly acceptable apology though”
It was a week later
when Paul picked Julie up and drove her over to Abbotsford for their meal I
would say their date but Julie kept insisting it was not a date.
It was quite late when
he brought her home and I was a little disappointed when the evening ended on
the doorstep with a peck on the cheek.
I had high hopes but
Julie was holding back for some reason.
“Good night” Julie
came in and closed the door.
“Nice evening?” I
asked
“Yes very nice”
“Good meal? Good
company?”
“Yes to both
questions”
“But?”
“I really like him but
I don’t know if I want to go through it all again”
“Nothing ventured
nothing gained” I said
“I’ve done my share of
venturing in the past and I haven’t yet gained”
“I’ll probably just
screw it up again Harry so it’s probably best if I stop it before it starts”
She waved away any
protest from me and went up to bed.
“Night Harry”
“Night Julie”
“That won’t do at all”
I said myself.
The next day before
Julie was up and about I sent a text to Paul from Julies mobile.
It was quite exciting
I’d never done one before even while I was alive.
I was quite surprised
that it was more difficult than it looked and really rather complicated to get
the letter you wanted and then it kept changing the word.
I came very close a
number of times to throwing the damn thing across the room.
Eventually I managed
to write:
“Thank you Paul I had a wonderful time last
night I really would love to do it again. Julie x PS Just ignore me if I play
hard to get lol”
Within a couple of
minutes I got a reply.
“I had a wonderful
time too I will call you soon. Paul”
Then I quickly deleted
my text to him and his reply and then put the phone back in Julie’s handbag
with minutes to spare before I heard Julie coming down the stairs.
I felt very pleased
with myself and my subterfuge and I thought it was just a matter of time before
the two of them got together again, however when a week had passed and nothing
had happened I was not so confident.
There had been a
couple of texts which I didn’t get to see before she deleted them and there had
been a phone call but it didn’t last long.
So it was to be
another evening of chess and conversation.
I set up the board as
Julie entered the room from the kitchen carrying a glass and bottle she opened
a bottle of wine the first she’d had for several weeks.
I frowned at her and
nodded in the direction of the wine.
“It’s ok I haven’t
taken any pain killers for three days so this is by way of celebration”
“Excellent” I said “I
wish I could join you”
“Bad luck” she said
taking a long sip
“I would prefer
Christmas ale”
“Oh don’t start on
Christmas again”
“Why do you hate
Christmas so much?” I asked
“How long do you
have?” She replied without humour.
“I have as long as it
takes I’m dead remember” I said trying to inject a little humour as I sat down
opposite her.
“Where should I start”
she looked around the room as if seeking inspiration.
“Christmas has been a
disappointment all my life”
“I grew up with the
constant disappointment of not getting the presents that I asked for” she said
with a wry smile “Which I blamed Santa for”
I started to speak but
Julie interrupted me.
“I know that’s very
childish and pathetic” she even laughed a little.
“When did you stop
believing?”
“I believed right up
until I was seven, that was the year I discovered Santa Claus was actually my
drunken father” She took a long drink
“So with a drunk for a
father and a violent bully for a mother my childhood was just full of Christmas
joy”
“Not brilliant then” I
added
“Then three
Christmas’s ago at one of our merry Christmas gatherings my own sister stole my
husband and my mother took my sisters side” she paused thin lipped remembering
the pain of it fresh as if for the first time she gathered herself then
continued.
“My dear mother said
if I’d kept him satisfied in the bedroom he wouldn’t have strayed”
“Not that he had to stray
too far with my slutty sister sniffing round him like a bitch on heat”
“What did you say to
your mother?” I asked
“I said that if she’d
kept my father satisfied in the bedroom he wouldn’t have turned to drink”
“Oooh”
“I haven’t spoken to
her or my sister since”
She took another
drink.
“Then last year two
weeks before Christmas a drunk driver ran a red light and broadsided me
shattering my hip and putting me in hospital for months”
She reached out and
grabbed her cane.
“And now I still have
my trusty stick as a constant reminder of what Christmas means to me”
I wished I could have
given her a fatherly hug but I couldn’t so we fell silent after that and
concentrated on the chess for a while.
I was out and about in
the garden early next morning it was less than a week before Christmas and I
was beginning to despair that as far as we had come together it was not going
to be far enough to save us both.
But it was more than
that, when I started it was about helping Julie in order to cross over and be
reunited with Rose.
I had come to care
about Julie more than I thought possible and furthermore I had come to realise
just how much I had wasted the final months of my own life.
I had brought her back
from the brink and I resolved that I would succeed in opening her heart not for
my own sake but for hers.
I transported myself
to the sitting room only to find it empty but there was the sound of cooking
coming from the kitchen and perhaps more alarming the sound of singing.
When I appeared in the
kitchen I found Julie frying bacon and singing along to an Eva Cassidy song
playing on the radio.
“Are you ok?” I asked
with false concern.
“Yes why?”
“I thought you must
have had a relapse and your hip was hurting”
“Very funny Harry” she
said with a smile.
“Would you like some
bacon? Oh I forgot you can’t eat can you I’ll have to eat it all myself then”
“You can be a very
cruel young woman” I said indignantly and tucked the newspaper under my arm and
withdrew to the sitting room.
After she had devoured
her bacon, which not only could I not eat but perhaps worse
I was also denied its
smell, she came into the sitting room and sat opposite me and we started a tug
of war over the newspaper.
“You’re in a very
playful mood today” I suggested after I had lost custody of the paper.
“I feel happy today, I
don’t know why I just do”
As she was in a good
mood I decided to chance my arm and enquire as to the state of play between her
and Paul.
“Have you heard from
Paul?” I said directly.
“Don’t start”
“What? It was an
innocent enough question”
“Hmm, well as it
happens he did phone me”
“Really?” I said
keenly
“He invited me out for
dinner on Christmas eve”
“That’s great”
“I declined his
invitation”
“Why?”
“Look Harry I’m sure
he really is a nice guy and I do like him”
“But?”
“But, I am finally
getting my life back on course, and that’s due in no small part to you, and I
don’t need any complications”
“That really is a
shame” I said sincerely.
“I just don’t think I’m ready” She added
With that she handed
me the paper and returned to the kitchen I left it ten minutes or so and then
joined her just as Bruce Springfield’s gravelled tones emanated from the radio
and I dueted with him in a fine rendition of “Santa Claus is coming to town”.
When we had finished
more or less together I took a bow or two.
“Ha ha I do love a
good Christmas song”
“Oh God protect me
from the happy Christmas ghost” Julie was laughing.
“What is it with you
and Christmas anyway?” she asked rhetorically.
Then she stood and
looked at me, my portly build, white beard and the hateful red sweater, shaking
her head despairingly.
“In fact come to think
of it you even look like Santa in a rather jaded retired to the old folks home
kind of way” Then she chuckled her rich velvet chuckle.
“Oh and why is that,
just because I’m a jolly fat man with a white beard?” I said striking an indignant pose.
“No you have a fair
point you would only qualify on two out of three” then her chuckle morphed into
a full belly laugh and then I was laughing with her.
Our merriment was
interrupted by a knock at the door and Julie was still wiping the tears of
laughter from her eyes as she opened the door.
It was a smiling Paul
Warwick who had knocked and his expression instantly changed to one of concern
when he saw Julie’s tears.
“Is everything alright?”
he asked with genuine concern.
Realizing what she was
doing Julie quickly dispelled his concern with a tale about something hilarious
on the radio.
Suitably reassured
Paul’s smile returned to his face and briefly gathered himself before revealing
the meaning for his visit.
“I know you said you
didn’t do Christmas” He began.
“But as I said
everyone has a little Christmas in their heart”
Julie was about to cut
him off in full flow but he put his hand up to stop her before she could start.
“So with that in mind”
he said ducking down to retrieve something from the floor.
”I thought of this”
He was holding in his
hand a small live Christmas tree in a pot, complete with tinsel and Baubles
standing about two feet tall it was even topped by a fairy.
“A tiny Christmas tree
for someone with only a tiny bit of Christmas in her heart”
He said as he
presented the tree to Julie.
“That’s so sweet” She
said “Thank you”
“You can plant it in
the garden after Christmas so it will keep growing and hopefully your love of
Christmas will grow with it”
There were tears in
her eyes again as she looked at the tiny tree and then Paul excused himself as
he had some estate business that he needed to attend to which I later found out
was delivering hampers to the homes of his workers.
Julie stood looking at
the little tree with a silly grin on her face as Paul said goodbye and was
heading up the path.
“I told you he was a
nice man” I said.
“Yes” she said looking
at me with tears welling up in her eyes.
“Oh God I can’t let
him go I have to talk to him”
“Well run after him
then” I suggested
“I can’t run” She
said.
“Go and slow him down
somehow”
Julie set off walking
and I transported my self to the gate just as Pauls hand reached for the latch.
As he tried to open
the gate I held it shut and no matter how much he shook it the gate didn’t
move.
Julie was only a few
yards away now.
“Paul!” She called.
Paul turned around to
see where Julie was calling from.
“Hi, you appear to
have a problem with your gate” He said just as I let go of the gate and the
gate swung open
“That’s odd” he said.
“I’m glad I caught
you” She said wincing a little at the effort of pursuing him.
“About dinner on
Christmas Eve is it too late to change my mind?”
On Christmas eve I sat
in the solitude of the cottage for what I hoped would be the last time, hoping
that the person I had come to care so much for would not need me anymore while at the same time regretting that I
would no longer be required to spend the long pleasant evenings in her company.
In the beginning I
thought that I was left stranded on earth solely because of the way I withdrew
from life and that my having to help someone escape my fate was my penance but
in fact I came to understand that my predicament was less about a punishment
for me but rather more about salvation for Julie and a last chance for her to
find happiness.
In truth no matter how
fond I was of her I did not belong there and though tinged with regret I hoped
soon to be moving on
I became aware of
voices outside and thought was this the moment a tender kiss goodnight on the
door step but instead the door opened and Julie stepped into the darkness and
my heart dropped and I thought we were back, perhaps not to square one but we
had definitely gone into reverse.
Then the light went on
and following Julie was the tall figure of Paul who closed the door behind him.
“Make your self
comfortable while I get us a drink” Julie said before disappearing into the
kitchen.
Paul headed in my
direction and I had to move quickly before he sat on my lap.
I stood invisible in
the corner by the stairs and observed as Julie came out of the kitchen with a
bottle of wine and a glass, then she stopped in her tracks and turned on her
heels and briefly returned to the kitchen before reappearing with a second
glass. She smiled to herself at the force of habit and glanced around the room
to see where I was.
Julie set the bottle
and glasses on the table then before she could sit Paul stood up and took her
hand and pulled her gently towards him and beside the tiny Christmas tree he
kissed her tenderly and she kissed him back.
At the precise moment
she returned his kiss on that Christmas Eve a bright light emanated down the
stairs and I knew my moment had come.
I looked up the
illuminated staircase and standing at the top was my dear Rose with her hand
outstretched towards me.
I turned again to look
at the embracing couple, Paul had his back to me and as their lips parted I
allowed Julie to see me one last time.
“Good bye Julie its
time for me to go now, have a happy life” I said and waved.
Then as she stood
holding onto Paul her head resting on his shoulder she mouthed the words “Merry
Christmas Harry”
I left the young
couple and walked up the stairs and took Rose’s hand and we were instantly in
another place.
Now I spend most of my time with Rose and all those who went before me but. I still look in Paul and Julie from time to time, I can do that now I’m a proper spirit, but that is a tale for another time.