Wednesday, 1 June 2022

Downshire Diary – (10) Victoria Falls

 

The village of Highfinch sits just on the edge of the Pepperstock Hills and the Lily Green Hollows Golf Club separates the village from the Hamlet of Lily Green, and the combination of those two and Kingfisherbridge made up the parish of St Martins.

 

Among the residents of Highfinch was Vicki Paulding, a rather plain middle-aged woman just the wrong side of 50, who was small and slim and always immaculately turned out even if she was not on the cutting edge of fashion.

She never dressed casual, always choosing to wear a dress or suit, but current trends notwithstanding she always dressed classily.

She was a busy woman around the village and among other things sat on the parish council.

Vicki would have been described as a spinster of that parish having never tied the knot nor even come close, however she was not the virginal figure she was thought to be, she had not been short of suitors in her youth but they all fell short of her expectations so

she choose to be on her own and fully expected to be so for the rest of her life, and she didn’t have an issue with that however nor did she complain when events in her life took a different turn thanks to a young woman named Petra van Meeuwen.

 

Petra van Meeuwen was the sister-in-law of one of Vicki’s closest friends, Cressida, and had been staying in the village with her for a few weeks and they were sitting in the club lounge at the Lily Green Hollows Golf Club.

It was a very exclusive Golf Club with a large number of grand House’s in both Highfinch and the hamlet of Lily Green backing on to it.

It was not widely known but the Golf Club and all the plush dwelling’s attached to the course all belonged to the Mornington Estate.

It came into their ownership in the late 1980’s when a developer tried to buy it to create a luxury housing estate, Gabriel’s father Valentine, who was the then Baron, stepped in and saved it.

But because it was so exclusive the membership fees were exorbitant, but they had to be because the Golf Club and all the properties that surrounded it all had to pay their own way.

Gabriel hated the fact that the club was strictly for the rich but it was a necessary evil to preserve it and protect it from the developers, however he made sure concessions were made to those among the villagers who were felt to be worthy due to their contributions to their fellow villagers and village life and Vicki was certainly one of those.

 

The life changing event was set in motion at the Golf Club and the occasion which found them in the club lounge was the Friday lunch club, it was called the Friday lunch club but it could take place on any day of the week, and the one in question happened to be on a Monday.

In attendance were all the usual suspects, Vicki of course, her best friend Julia Thomas, bespoke Furniture maker Farron Sutherland, Local dentist Jonathan Walters, TV presenter Nick Faulkner and the incomparable Cressida van Meeuwen.

The lunch club would normally be some permutation of the six but not exclusively and on that occasion it was Cressie’s sister in law, Petra who joined their number.

Other than that it was a typical lunch club with lots of wine consumed as they sat around and chattered about everything and anything.

 

It was a typical lunch club with lots of wine consumed as they sat around and chattered about everything and anything.

But as soon as Cressida got up and went to the loo Julia said urgently.

“Ok you lot, I need help, as I haven’t got a clue what to get Cressie for her birthday.

Cressida’s 40th was only a few days away and Julia didn’t have a clue what to get her.

“I need help too” Vicki admitted but the next five minutes consisted of everyone else at the table relating the nature of their gift.

“Yes but what can we get?” Vicki said snappily

“Well I happen to know that she has her eye on something” Petra said enigmatically, but before she could say anything Cressida returned.

So when it came time to leave Julia and Vicki hung back and as Petra was about to go through the door Julia grabbed her and pulled her backward and then Vicki said

“Come on spill the beans, what has she seen and where did she see it?”  

 

Cressida loved Art Deco and in the two years since her divorce she had gradually transformed her home from the blandness of mass produced Scandinavian imported furniture, chosen by her ex-husband, whose favourite colour was beige, to an Art Deco paradise.

His sporting trophies and man cave paraphilia had gone and she had imposed her own tastes on her surroundings. 

So the thing that she had her eye on was obviously a piece of period Art Deco, namely a Spelter Figure by Josef Lorenzl and according to Petra she had seen it in an Antique shop in the village of Bracingly at the western end of the Finchbottom vale near the town of Childean, so the next day Vicki and Julia set off across the Finchbottom Vale in search of it.

 

The Vale nestles comfortably between the Ancient Dancingdean Forest to the south and the rolling Pepperstock Hills in the north, those who are lucky enough to live there think of it as the rose between two thorns.

The Vale was once a great wetland that centuries earlier stretched from Mornington in the East to Childean in the west and from Shallowfield in the south to Purplemere in the north.

But over the many centuries the vast majority had been drained for agriculture, a feat achieved largely by the efforts of the famous Mornington Mills, of which only three had survived to the present day and even those were no longer functional and were in various states of repair.  

There were only three small bodies of water left in the Vale by the 21st Century, one in Mornington, one in Childean and third of course was in Purplemere.

Throughout its history the Finchbottom Vale was largely dependent on agriculture and so it remained into the 21st century but many and varied occupations and endeavour’s thrived alongside the traditional rural livelihood’s.

 

It was a pleasant drive through the Vale in the September sunshine as they headed to the village of Bracingly and the search of an antique shop called Aldridge Arcadia.

It was quite a large village, not as large as Highfinch, but nonetheless quite substantial.

When they located the shop they were amazed at how big it was and once inside they spent an hour looking on every shelf and surface but couldn’t see anything like what was described to them by Petra. 

“It’s definitely not here” Julia said as they stood in the middle of Aldridge Arcadia Antiques “They must have sold it”

“Let’s ask someone” Vicki suggested “Maybe we’ve just missed it”

They walked disconsolately to the counter and spoke to an elderly man with gold rimmed spectacles behind the counter and asked him about the figurine.

“Oh yes I remember the piece you mean” he said “A beautiful lady”

“It’s been sold then?” Julia said “We couldn’t see it anywhere”

“That’s because it was never here” he said “it was in the Shallowfield shop”

“But it was sold though” Vicki said

“Well why don’t I phone my sons and ask them” he said with a twinkle in his eye and went into the back room leaving Julia and Vicki in the shop fidgeting uneasily until he returned a few minutes later.

“Good news” he said 

“Really?” Julia asked

“Yes, they haven’t sold it and my son Mark has put it aside until you get there” he said

“Oh wow” Vicki said “Thank you so much”

 

So they left the quiet village of Bracingly and crossed the Finchbottom Vale again to the much busier Shallowfield and after about ten minutes found somewhere to park.

Once they were parked they stopped a local man and asked directions and then as they walked towards the shop Julia said

“Shall we have lunch in the village when we’re done?”

“Oh yes that’s a good idea” Vicki agreed

 

The Aldridge family had been in antiques since the end of the Second World War and had a number of shops in Downshire and the biggest of those was in Shallowfield and was run by Brothers Mark and Chris who were both in their fifties.

They had both secured the future of the business, having two children each who were all learning the business but once the brothers had reached their fifties they did so on their own, in Marks case due to divorce while Chris was a widow.  

 

When Mark took the call from his father regarding the Spelter Figure by Josef Lorenzl, Chris was hopeful that they wouldn’t be time wasters and they would actually buy it.

Chris wasn’t particularly fond of the piece like his brother Mark was he always preferred the Arts and Crafts movement to Art Deco.

He just hoped that they wouldn’t fall into the deluded amateur category, thanks to the Antiques Roadshow everyone thought they were an expert.

 

Julia and Vicki stood outside Aldridge Arcadia Antiques and paused to look at each other and they were both amazed that it was an even bigger shop than Bracingly.

 

Chris was rearranging the Wedgewood in a large glass cabinet when the two women walked in and he almost dropped the piece of Green Jasper he was holding.

“These two are not time wasters” he thought to himself

 

The two ladies, because that’s what they were, were both of around the same age as him, early fifties, immaculately dressed in quality clothing, a real classy pair.

One was a skinny plain looking woman in a blue skirt peach blouse and the other one had a lovely face and was more rotund, though perfectly proportioned, in a floral dress and a white shrug.

Chris was particularly taken by the slimmer lady, who although at first glance was a little plain she had a smile that lit up the shop.

 

“Good Morning ladies” Mark said, although he was looking at Julia as he spoke

“Hello” they both responded

“I believe we are expected” Julia added

“Ah yes the Lorenzl figure” Mark said and reached under the counter and then placed the Spelter figure in front of them.

“Here she is”

The two friends looked at the lovely Art Deco figure of a girl in a trouser suit and the face was the spitting image of Cressida.

It was the perfect gift for their friend but when they looked at the price tag they saw it was priced at £595.

It was absolutely beautiful and equally perfect but it was more money than either of them wanted to spend, or could afford to spend for that matter, they were both on fixed incomes, but they loved it.

“It is lovely” Julia said however her tone suggested there was a definite but.

“As you like it and you have driven over here specially I can give you a discount and reduce it to £500” Mark said and then added

“I’ll leave you to think about it” 

“Thank you” Julia said and Mark walked off to talk to his brother.

“Even at 500 it’s too much for me” Vicki said

“Me too” Julia agreed and then a few minutes later she added

“We could go halves”

“Oh yes, we could” Vicki agreed “I can afford that, let’s get it”

 

Julia called Mark over and she said

“We’ll take it”

“Our friend will adore it” Vicki added stepping back from the counter to let Mark pass and almost bumped into the other man, his brother she presumed as there was a similarity.

“Is it a gift?” Chris asked

“Yes it’s for our friend Cressida” Vicki said “she has a big birthday, she’s 40 on Sunday”

“So she’s your much older friend then” he teased

“Flatterer” Vicki said and blushed

“Would you like it gift wrapped?” he asked “No extra charge”

“Yes that would be lovely” she said

 

She could see that Julia and the other Mr. Aldridge were deep in conversation so she browsed the shelves until her Mr. Aldridge returned with the package and they had to say their goodbyes which was a shame because they had enjoyed the little exchange and so reluctantly Vicki and Julia headed towards the door but before they left Vicki turned around and said

“We were going to have lunch in the village, could you recommend somewhere?”

It was so out of character for Vicki to be so bold, she rather surprised herself.

“Well funnily enough we were just going to lunch ourselves so we can do better than that we can actually show you” Chris said and Vicki thought

 “Well played you”

 

The Aldridge brothers left the shop under the supervision of another relative though several decades younger and walked with Julia and Vicki the short distance from the shop to the Woodman’s Axe.

It was such a glorious September day that they sat in the garden and enjoyed a very pleasant lunch and after two hours Mark said

“Unfortunately we really need to get back to the shop”

Unbeknown to them Chris had already settled the bill and despite their protests the Aldridge’s would not permit them to contribute.

“Your company is all the contribution you needed to make” Chris said

“Well thank you both for a lovely lunch and even better company” Julia said.

“Yes thank you” Vicki concurred although she was looking at Chris “but you must let us pay next time”

And on hearing herself saying the words Vicki thought

“You are on fire today”

And a reciprocal lunch date was set for the following week, venue to be confirmed.

 

It was a glorious day at the very end of September, unseasonably warm and the type of day that England was made for.

There was a big do on at the Lily Green Hollows Golf Club to celebrate Cressida van Meeuwen’s 40th birthday, Cressie was the club Captains ex-wife and she was a very popular character, much more than he was, and a truly likeable person, as a result of which most of the village were there and subsequently a good deal of alcohol was consumed and quite a lot of it by Julia and Vicki.

 

Cressie was thrilled with her present, and after she had berated them for their extravagance she cried, but she did a lot of that during the day because everyone was so nice to her and she didn’t know they liked her so much.

 

Julia and Vicki sat on the terrace feeling very smug after making their friend so happy but as the wine began to take affect their thoughts turned towards the upcoming lunch with the Aldridge brothers.

“Where shall we go?” Vicki asked “it can’t be anywhere too expensive, it’s been an expensive month and it’s our treat remember”

“I wouldn’t mind giving Mark a treat” Julia said and followed it with a very dirty chuckle

“Julia!” Vicki exclaimed and then asked “Do you fancy him then?”

“Rather” she replied and chuckled again

“I like the other one” Vicki said quietly “He’s Phwoah”

“Do you think they like us?” Julia asked

“Well they took us to lunch didn’t they” Vic replied

“That doesn’t mean anything they could do that for all their customers” she retorted “They are gentlemen after all”

“Yes they are gentlemen” Vicki agreed “But I bet Mark doesn’t look at all his customers the way he looked at you”

“How was that?”

“Hungry” Vicki said and they both guffawed

 

Since taking the elegant ladies for lunch Chris had plenty of time to think about the time they spent together and more importantly the implications of their conversations.

Ever since he first met her he had thought of little else and he was really looking forward to seeing her again.

It was the first time since he lost his wife that he had looked at a woman in that way and he was excited at the prospect of seeing her again but he was racked with guilt about betraying his wife’s memory.

But he didn’t even know if she looked at him in the same way that he looked at her, he knew that she was a spinster, and had never come close to marriage, and he knew there was no significant other in her life, but he didn’t know if that was by accident or design.

 

The day after Cressida’s birthday party Julia and Vicki were quite hungover and late in the afternoon when the fug had finally cleared the latter went round to the formers for coffee and their conversation returned to the subject of lunch with the Aldridge brother’s but because they both fancied the pants off them they decided to move things along by substituting the lunch date with a dinner date at the White Horse Inn in Finchbottom.

 

On Friday night the ladies were going to meet the brothers at the White Horse but just as they approached the pub Vicki phone rang.

“Hello” she said “Oh hello Chris, oh dear, that’s not good”

Julia mind was suddenly full of unpleasant scenarios so she pulled up to the kerb with a screech.

“What is it? What’s happened?” she demanded but Vicki ignored her and said

“Don’t worry we’ll pick you up at the station”

“What happened?” Julia asked again

“Car trouble” she replied “They had to catch the train, they get in in 20 minutes”

“Honestly Victoria is that all, you do panic”

“Yes Julia” she said and smiled

 

The dinner at the White Horse was a great success and the evening ended outside the pub with cheeks being kissed and nothing more than that.

They all enjoyed the evening but the girls had hoped it was a date, date but it turned out to be dinner with friends

More Friday meals followed however, the Phoenix in Shallowfield, the Runcible Spoon in Purplemere, the Huntsman’s Lodge in Childean and the Old Mill Inn in Mornington.

But no progress from friends to anything better than that and no improvement on kissed cheeks.

Not that Vicki was happy with that in fact she determined to force the pace after the next dinner date.

 

On the evening of Halloween a very excitable Vicki rang the doorbell of her friend Julia’s house and when the door opened she was greeted by her friend dressed as a witch but she was way too excited to comment.

“You’ll never guess what’s happened” she said

“No you are correct so you had better tell me quick before I hit you with a bucket” Julia replied

“Chris just phoned and he’s taking me out for dinner” she said

“But you’ve eaten dinner already” Julia pointed out       

“I know but I didn’t want to say no, after all this is progress” Vicki said

“It is” she agreed “Wait a minute though, I thought they were going to a football match in Abbottsford today”

“They had to cancel, some kind of crisis in the shop” Vicki replied

“Mark is still there I think he’s staying in the flat tonight”

“Is he?” she said quietly

 

She stayed for about five minutes sharing her excitement and then she rushed off to get ready with Julia good wishes for a great evening following her out the door until the door closed behind her and the porch light went out.

 

Chris picked her up about an hour later and took her to a nice pub in Dulcet-on-Brooke called the Waterside Inn.

It was the first time they had been out when it was just the two of them and had she had more time to think about it she might have been nervous but as she didn’t, she was completely relaxed when she got in the car and the conversation flowed from the first second to the last and the evening couldn’t have gone better which made the non-existent goodnight kiss even more difficult to fathom.

 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to kiss her, he did, the problem was his dead wife.

He was excited at the prospect of seeing Vicki every time, but when he thought about going to the next level he was overwhelmed with guilt.

Which was why on the 5th of November he drove to St Martha’s church yard in Finchbottom and spent much of the day talking to his dead wife about his future and by the time he left he knew exactly what he needed to do.

 

Vicki had had a busy day delivering parish magazines and she got home midafternoon and had just sat down with a well-earned cup of tea when the phone rang.        

“Oh bugger” she exclaimed more than a little fed up, it was like they knew, it was as if there was a sensor in the chair and as soon as her bum hit the cushion the phone would ring or the doorbell would sound, it was uncanny.

“Hello” she said abruptly

“Vicki?” said a hoarse voice “it’s Cressie”

It was just as well she clarified because she would never have recognised her voice.

Her initial anger at being disturbed melted away when she realised that Cressida had the flu.

“Hello Cressie” she said, “you don’t sound too good”  

“It’s the flu I’m afraid” she said, “Could I ask a favour?”

“Of course” she replied

“It’s a big favour”

“Ask away” Vicki said

“The girls are desperate to see the firework display tonight” Cressie said

“And you would like me to take them?” Vic interrupted

“Would you?” she asked

“What time would you like me?”

 

Victoria picked the twin girls up at five and Cressida couldn’t thank her enough for stepping in.

Lisa and Julie were incredibly excited in that way that only eight-year-old girls can be.

The firework display they were going to watch was in Mornington-By-Mere, and apart from the fireworks and the obligatory bonfire, there were also an assortment of amusements, darts, shooting galleries, play your cards right, hook a duck and hoopla.

And the girls had been looking forward to them as much as fireworks themselves.

While she was watching them on the hoopla she got a text message from Chris asking if she wanted to do dinner and she replied that she couldn’t as she was at the Mornington fireworks with a friends children.

 

By the time they had to take up their position for the display the twins had both won something on their own on one of the attractions and Vicki had won them both a cuddly toy on the shooting gallery so they decided there was just time for one more hotdog before the fireworks began.

By the time it was all over, between the games and the food they had pretty much cleaned out her purse.

But it was worth every penny as she hadn’t had that much fun for a good long while.

Vicki took some good shots of the pair of them on her phone playing various amusements so she could show Cressida later.

 

With the smoke from the display thick in the air and the noise of the pyrotechnics assailing her ears she suddenly became aware of someone close beside her.

“Hello” a voice said and when she turned around she saw it was Chris

“What are you doing here?” she asked unable to keep the delight out of her voice and feeling safe in the darkness she slipped her hand into his

“Do you mind if I hold your hand” she whispered

“No, but I was hoping for a kiss” he replied and squeezed her hand

“I shall look forward to that later” Vicki said trying to keep the excitement out of her voice.

 

Back in Highfinch Vicki drove onto Cressida’s drive and walked the twins to the house and as they were approaching, the front door opened and Cressida was standing there waiting.

“Mum, Mum” they cried running up the drive “look what we’ve got”

Vicki didn’t know where they got the energy from, she was exhausted, it was only the prospect of Chris kissing her that was keeping her going, but eventually the excited twins went inside

“Get yourselves ready for bed” Cressida called to them before turning to Vicki and hugging her

“How are you feeling?”       

“Ghastly” she replied “I won’t kiss you I don’t want to give it to you”

“Don’t worry”

“Thank you so much” Cressie said

“It was a pleasure” Vicki remarked “I’ve really enjoyed myself, and I’m not just saying that”

“Will you come in for coffee?” she asked

“I won’t if you don’t mind, I’m shattered” Vicki lied “Now get yourself to bed”

 

When she drove her car off Cressida’s drive it wasn’t to drive to her house on the other side of the village it was to return to Mornington where Chris Aldridge was waiting for her in the Old Mill Inn and it was in the beer garden beside the River Brooke where they shared their first kiss.

Downshire Diary – (09) Julia’s Treat

 

The village of Highfinch sits just on the edge of the Pepperstock Hills and the Lily Green Hollows Golf Club separates the village from the Hamlet of Lily Green, and the combination of those two and Kingfisherbridge made up the parish of St Martins.

 

Among the residents of Highfinch was Julia Thomas, a rotund lady in her early fifties, rotund though perfectly proportioned, who was always immaculately turned out, and was a busy soul within village who among other things sat on the parish council.

As September drifted towards October she was still coming to terms with the fact that she was to all intents and purposes a single woman again after her two sons threw their hard drinking womanizing arsehole of a father out after he had let Julia down once too often.

In the weeks that followed she enjoyed her new found freedom and was her own woman again but in her quiet moments she wondered if that was it for her and she would be on her own for the rest of her life, and she didn’t have an issue with that in the main, but nor did she complain when events in her life took a different turn thanks to a young woman named Petra van Meeuwen.

 

Petra van Meeuwen was the sister-in-law of one of Julia’s closest friends, Cressida, and had been staying in the village with her for a few weeks and they were sitting in the club lounge at the Lily Green Hollows Golf Club.

It was a very exclusive Golf Club with a large number of grand House’s in both Highfinch and the hamlet of Lily Green backing on to it.

It was not widely known but the Golf Club and all the plush dwelling’s attached to the course all belonged to the Mornington Estate.

It came into their ownership in the late 1980’s when a developer tried to buy it to create a luxury housing estate, Gabriel’s father Valentine, who was the then Baron, stepped in and saved it.

But because it was so exclusive the membership fees were exorbitant, but they had to be because the Golf Club and all the properties that surrounded it all had to pay their own way.

Gabriel hated the fact that the club was strictly for the rich but it was a necessary evil to preserve it and protect it from the developers, however he made sure concessions were made to those among the villagers who were felt to be worthy due to their contributions to their fellow villagers and village life and Julia was certainly one of those.

 

The life changing event was set in motion at the Golf Club and the occasion which found them in the club lounge was the Friday lunch club, it was called the Friday lunch club but it could take place on any day of the week, and the one in question happened to be on a Monday.

In attendance were all the usual suspects, Julia of course, her best friend Vicki Paulding, bespoke Furniture maker Farron Sutherland, Local dentist Jonathan Walters, TV presenter Nick Faulkner and the incomparable Cressida van Meeuwen.

The lunch club would normally be some permutation of the six but not exclusively and on that occasion it was Cressie’s sister in law, Petra who joined their number.

Other than that it was a typical lunch club with lots of wine consumed as they sat around and chattered Other than that it was a typical lunch club with lots of wine consumed as they sat around and chattered about everything and anything.

 

It was a typical lunch club with lots of wine consumed as they sat around and chattered about everything and anything.

But as soon as Cressida got up and went to the loo Julia said urgently.

“Ok you lot, I need help, as I haven’t got a clue what to get Cressie for her birthday.

Cressida’s 40th was only a few days away and Julia didn’t have a clue what to get her.

“I need help too” Vicki admitted but the next five minutes consisted of everyone else at the table relating the nature of their gift.

“Yes but what can we get?” Vicki said snappily

“Well I happen to know that she has her eye on something” Petra said enigmatically, but before she could say anything Cressida returned.

So when it came time to leave Julia and Vicki hung back and as Petra was about to go through the door Julia grabbed her and pulled her backward and then Vicki said

“Come on spill the beans, what has she seen and where did she see it?”  

 

Cressida loved Art Deco and in the two years since her divorce she had gradually transformed her home from the blandness of mass produced Scandinavian imported furniture, chosen by her ex-husband, whose favourite colour was beige, to an Art Deco paradise.

His sporting trophies and man cave paraphilia had gone and she had imposed her own tastes on her surroundings. 

So the thing that she had her eye on was obviously a piece of period Art Deco, namely a Spelter Figure by Josef Lorenzl and according to Petra she had seen it in an Antique shop in the village of Bracingly at the western end of the Finchbottom vale near the town of Childean, so the next day Julia and Vicki set off across the Finchbottom Vale in search of it.

 

The Vale nestles comfortably between the Ancient Dancingdean Forest to the south and the rolling Pepperstock Hills in the north, those who are lucky enough to live there think of it as the rose between two thorns.

The Vale was once a great wetland that centuries earlier stretched from Mornington in the East to Childean in the west and from Shallowfield in the south to Purplemere in the north.

But over the many centuries the vast majority had been drained for agriculture, a feat achieved largely by the efforts of the famous Mornington Mills, of which only three had survived to the present day and even those were no longer functional and were in various states of repair.  

There were only three small bodies of water left in the Vale by the 21st Century, one in Mornington, one in Childean and third of course was in Purplemere.

Throughout its history the Finchbottom Vale was largely dependent on agriculture and so it remained into the 21st century but many and varied occupations and endeavour’s thrived alongside the traditional rural livelihood’s.

 

It was a pleasant drive through the Vale in the September sunshine as they headed to the village of Bracingly and the search of an antique shop called Aldridge Arcadia.

It was quite a large village, not as large as Highfinch, but nonetheless quite substantial.

When they located the shop they were amazed at how big it was and once inside they spent an hour looking on every shelf and surface but couldn’t see anything like what was described to them by Petra. 

“It’s definitely not here” Julia said as they stood in the middle of Aldridge Arcadia Antiques “They must have sold it”

“Let’s ask someone” Vicki suggested “Maybe we’ve just missed it”

They walked disconsolately to the counter and spoke to an elderly man with gold rimmed spectacles behind the counter and asked him about the figurine.

“Oh yes I remember the piece you mean” he said “A beautiful lady”

“It’s been sold then?” Julia said “We couldn’t see it anywhere”

“That’s because it was never here” he said “it was in the Shallowfield shop”

“But it was sold though” Vicki said

“Well why don’t I phone my sons and ask them” he said with a twinkle in his eye and went into the back room leaving Julia and Vicki in the shop fidgeting uneasily until he returned a few minutes later.

“Good news” he said 

“Really?” Julia asked

“Yes, they haven’t sold it and my son Mark has put it aside until you get there” he said

“Oh wow” Vicki said “Thank you so much”

 

So they left the quiet village of Bracingly and crossed the Finchbottom Vale again to the much busier Shallowfield and after about ten minutes found somewhere to park.

Once they were parked they stopped a local man and asked directions and then as they walked towards the shop Julia said

“Shall we have lunch in the village when we’re done?”

“Oh yes that’s a good idea” Vicki agreed

 

The Aldridge family had been in antiques since the end of the Second World War and had a number of shops in Downshire and the biggest of those was in Shallowfield and was run by Brothers Mark and Chris who were both in their fifties.

They had both secured the future of the business, having two children each who were all learning the business but once the brothers had reached their fifties they did so on their own, in Marks case due to divorce while Chris was a widow.  

When Mark took the call from his father regarding the Spelter Figure by Josef Lorenzl, he was a little sad, he had gotten used to it being around and he wondered what kind of inappropriately dressed philistines he would be selling her too.

 

Julia and Vicki stood outside Aldridge Arcadia Antiques and paused to look at each other and they were both amazed that it was an even bigger shop than Bracingly.

 

Mark was behind the counter when the two women walked in and he was heartily impressed.

They weren’t the usual weekday customer at all, these were not the normal misguided folk who thought Aldridge’s was a charity shop rather than an antiques emporium, muffin topped, leggings clad clientele with Tattoos and bingo wings looking for gaudy tat.

No these two ladies were immaculately dressed and were possessed of great style and no little elegance, he could sell the figurine to these customers with no reservations whatsoever.

 

The two ladies, because that’s what they were, were both of around the same age as him, early fifties, immaculately dressed in quality clothing, a real classy pair.

One was a skinny plain looking woman in a blue skirt peach blouse and the other one had a lovely face and was more rotund, though perfectly proportioned, in a floral dress and a white shrug.

Mark was particularly taken by fuller figured lady.

 

“Good Morning ladies” Mark said, although he was looking at Julia as he spoke

“Hello” they both responded

“I believe we are expected” Julia added

“Ah yes the Lorenzl figure” Mark said and reached under the counter and then placed the Spelter figure in front of them.

“Here she is”

The two friends looked at the lovely Art Deco figure of a girl in a trouser suit and the face was the spitting image of Cressida.

It was the perfect gift for their friend but when they looked at the price tag they saw it was priced at £595.

It was absolutely beautiful and equally perfect but it was more money than either of them wanted to spend, or could afford to spend for that matter, they were both on fixed incomes, but they loved it.

“It is lovely” Julia said however her tone suggested there was a definite but.

“As you like it and you have driven over here specially I can give you a discount and reduce it to £500” Mark said and then added

“I’ll leave you to think about it” 

“Thank you” Julia said and Mark walked off to talk to his brother.

“Even at 500 it’s too much for me” Vicki said

“Me too” Julia agreed and then a few minutes later she added

“We could go halves”

“Oh yes, we could” Vicki agreed “I can afford that, let’s get it”

 

Julia called Mark over and she said

“We’ll take it”

“Our friend will adore it” Vicki added stepping back from the counter to let Mark pass and almost bumped into the other man, his brother she presumed as there was a definite similarity, then she chatted to the other brother while Julia paid.

“I’ll just get a box” Mark said after he handed her receipt

“It’s ok Mark, I’m going to gift wrap it” Chris said

“So have you come far?” he asked “I mean I know you drove over from Bracingly but before that I mean”

“We live in Highfinch” she replied

“Oh so you have had a bit of a trek today then” he said and laughed

“Highfinch is a lovely village, you’re so lucky”

“And where do you call home?” Julia asked

“Well my house is in Finchbottom but I live over the shop during the week”

Just then his brother returned from the back room with the package and they had to say their goodbyes which was a shame because they had enjoyed the little exchange and so reluctantly Julia and Vicki headed towards the door but before they left Vicki turned around and said

“We were going to have lunch in the village, could you recommend somewhere?”

“Well funnily enough we were just going to lunch ourselves so we can do better than that we can actually show you” Chris said and Julia thought

“Well played Vic”

 

The Aldridge brothers left the shop under the supervision of another relative though several decades younger and walked with Julia and Vicki the short distance from the shop to the Woodman’s Axe.

It was such a glorious September day that they sat in the garden and enjoyed a very pleasant lunch and after two hours Mark said

“Unfortunately we really need to get back to the shop”

Unbeknown to them Chris had already settled the bill and despite their protests the Aldridge’s would not permit them to contribute.

“Your company is all the contribution you needed to make” Chris said

“Well thank you both for a lovely lunch and even better company” Julia said although she was looking at Mark.

“Yes thank you” Vicki concurred “but you must let us pay next time”

And on hearing her friend Julia thought

“Well played again Vic”

And a reciprocal lunch date was set for the following week, venue to be confirmed.

 

It was a glorious day at the very end of September, unseasonably warm and the type of day that England was made for.

There was a big do on at the Lily Green Hollows Golf Club to celebrate Cressida van Meeuwen’s 40th birthday, Cressie was the club Captains ex-wife and she was a very popular character, much more than he was, and a truly likeable person, as a result of which most of the village were there and subsequently a good deal of alcohol was consumed and quite a lot of it by Julia and Vicki.

 

Cressie was thrilled with her present, and after she had berated them for their extravagance she cried, but she did a lot of that during the day because everyone was so nice to her and she didn’t know they liked her so much.

 

Julia and Vicki sat on the terrace feeling very smug after making their friend so happy but as the wine began to take affect their thoughts turned towards the upcoming lunch with the Aldridge brothers.

“Where shall we go?” Vicki asked “it can’t be anywhere too expensive, it’s been an expensive month and it’s our treat remember”

“I wouldn’t mind giving Mark a treat” Julia said and followed it with a very dirty chuckle

“Julia!” Vicki exclaimed and then asked “Do you fancy him then?”

“Rather” she replied and chuckled again

“I like the other one” Vicki said quietly “He’s Phwoah”

“Do you think they like us?” Julia asked

“Well they took us to lunch didn’t they” Vic replied

“That doesn’t mean anything they could do that for all their customers” she retorted “They are gentlemen after all”

“Yes they are gentlemen” Vicki agreed “But I bet Mark doesn’t look at all his customers the way he looked at you”

“How was that?”

“Hungry” Vicki said and they both guffawed

 

Since taking the elegant ladies for lunch Mark had had plenty of time to think about the time they spent together and more importantly the implications of their conversations.

Ever since he first met her he had thought of little else and he was really looking forward to seeing her again.

It was the first time since his divorce he had looked at a woman with lust in his heart and he was excited at the prospect of seeing her again.

But he didn’t know if his lust was reciprocated, he knew that she was also divorced, though more recently than he, and he knew there was no significant other in her life, but he didn’t know if that was by accident or design.

 

The day after Cressida’s birthday party Julia and Vicki were quite hungover and late in the afternoon when the fug had finally cleared the latter went round to the formers for coffee and their conversation returned to the subject of lunch with the Aldridge brother’s but because they both fancied the pants off them they decided to move things along by substituting the lunch date with a dinner date at the White Horse Inn in Finchbottom.

 

On Friday night the ladies were going to meet the brothers at the White Horse but just as they approached the pub Vicki’s phone rang.

“Hello” she said “Oh hello Chris, oh dear, that’s not good”

Julia mind was suddenly full of unpleasant scenarios so she pulled up to the kern with a screech.

“What is it? What’s happened?” she demanded but Vicki ignored her and said

“Don’t worry we’ll pick you up at the station”

“What happened?” Julia asked again

“Car trouble” she replied “They had to catch the train, they get in in 20 minutes”

“Honestly Victoria is that all, you do panic”

“Yes Julia” she said and smiled

 

The dinner at the White Horse was a great success and the evening ended outside the pub with cheeks being kissed and nothing more than that.

They all enjoyed the evening but the girls had hoped it was a date, date, but it turned out to be dinner with friends

More Friday meals followed however, the Phoenix in Shallowfield, the Runcible Spoon in Purplemere, the Huntsman’s Lodge in Childean and the Old Mill Inn in Mornington.

But no progress from friends to anything better than that and no improvement on kissed cheeks.

Not that Julia was happy with that and she was beginning to wonder if there was something wrong with her but she soon dismissed that and decided she would just have to remain patient.

 

The problem wasn’t with Julia it was with Mark, he had been divorced two years so his marriage was well and truly over but hers was a much fresher wound, so he didn’t want to move too fast and get her on the rebound but Julia didn’t care how he got her as long as he got her and the sooner the better.

 

The next day it was Halloween and on Saturday afternoon, Julia made her preparations for the evening onslaught of greedy little darlings demanding their trick or treat.

She decorated the porch with skulls and other seasonal paraphernalia, lit the jack-o-lantern and filled two plastic buckets to the brim with assorted sweets and chocolates and finally as the time approached she donned her Witches costume to greet the sweet toothed hooligans.

 

The two buckets were both half empty by 6.30 and she wondered just how many children there were in such a small village, perhaps some of them were actually real ghosts and ghouls and she chuckled to herself at her little joke.

She had to admit after a constant stream of trick or treaters over two busy hours she was starting to flag and she was just about to sit down for a five minute breather when the doorbell rang again so she sighed and put on her best festive smile and opened the door.

But instead of being met by a group of excited children chiming

“Trick or treat”

She was greeted by a very excitable Vicki

“You’ll never guess what’s happened”

“No you are correct so you had better tell me quick before I hit you with a bucket” Julia replied

“Chris just phoned and he’s taking me out for dinner” she said

“But you’ve eaten dinner already” Julia pointed out       

“I know but I didn’t want to say no, after all this is progress” Vicki said

“It is” she agreed “Wait a minute though, I thought they were going to a football match in Abbottsford today”

“They had to cancel, some kind of crisis in the shop” Vicki replied

“Mark is still there I think he’s staying in the flat tonight”

“Is he?” she said quietly

 

After five minutes of bathing in the rosy glow of Vicki’s excitement she wished her a great evening and closed the door behind her.

She turned off the porch light, as she would be entertaining no more Trick or Treaters that night and then she slipped off her witches garb and went upstairs and got herself ready, she returned downstairs an hour later dressed to kill and then she put her witches cloak back on and drove to Shallowfield.

 

When she drove up to the shop the emporium was in total darkness but there was a light burning in the flat above so she walked around the side of the building and climbed the stairs and knocked on the door. 

As the door opened she exclaimed from beneath her witch’s hat

“Trick or treat”

“Oh a treat please” He said as she stood on the threshold

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works” she said, “I’m supposed to get the treat”

“Well you’d better come in then” he said and she stepped forward into his arms and he kissed her.

Downshire Diary – (08) First Impressions

 

When the Mornington Estate exercised its option to purchase Mornington Field from the Ministry Of Defence, it also acquired all the buildings and infrastructure on the airfield itself as well as 29 houses in the village, formally used as quarters for military personnel.

Plans were immediately drawn up to optimize the newly acquired assets the moment the property was formally handed over on the 1st of June 2014.

The guardians of the Mornington Estate were the St George family and the head of both the family and the estate was Baron Gabriel St George.

His architect, Scott Collier, was tasked with designing appropriate conversions to the buildings and infrastructure on the airfield to maximize the potential returns for the estate, and Ray Walker, who dealt with all things estate maintenance, was responsible for getting the old Air force housing stock up to standard and occupied ASAP.

Ray worked tirelessly to that end to have not just the first six houses ready within the month, as originally promised, but eight, which were handed over on the 6th of July, two days earlier than forecast.

Gabriel was then able to instruct Lyndon-Sanders Properties of Shallowfield to find tenants.

Priority was to be given to local people or people with ties to the area or those who worked in some capacity for the estate such as agriculture and the brewery other than that they were to be rented with the only condition being that it had to be the tenant’s primary residence.

Gabriel was always conscious of creating a ghost town of professionals who lived and worked in Town all week and only returned to the village on the weekend.

One such person was Lianne Martin who worked at the Mornington Dental & Orthodontic Surgery two days a week.

 

The Doctors, Dentists, Orthodontists and Pharmacists were all based elsewhere and provided a skeleton service to the village of Mornington.

The Doctors presence was maintained by the Dancingdean Health Centre in Shallowfield and one of their number, Locum Doctor Kelly Spearman lived in one of the Military Row houses.

The Dental and Orthodontic staff came from a large specialist practice in Finchbottom, Downshire Denticare. 

The Shallowfield, Robert Harvey Pharmacy in Oakwood Road filled any prescriptions and delivered them to the surgery every day.

The Norman family, who also ran the general store and post office provided Lily Norman and her son Robbie to staff the chemist shop for its limited opening times.

 

The Doctors Surgery, the Pharmacy, and the Dental & Orthodontic Surgery were on the opposite side of The Street from the Old Mill Inn and the reception area for the Doctors, Dentist & Orthodontic Surgeries sat in an extension between the two buildings.

Because Mornington was such a small village none of the practices were open full time but Baron St George, the head of the Mornington Estate heavily subsidized all three as well as the small Chemist shop, which shared the Doctors premises, but there weren’t enough patients to warrant full time staffing so in order to make appropriate use of the facilities the doctors surgery was made available to other practitioners in the afternoons and evenings, such as Chiropractors, Hypnotherapists, Acupuncturists etc. but villager Claire Pollard, a Chiropodist was the only regular the others tended to be a bit more sporadic in their attendance.

 

32 year old Dentist Lianne Martin moved into number 2, Military Row with her younger sister Kirsty and her six year old niece Sasha on the 18th of July.

Lianne worked in Finchbottom for Downshire Denticare and divided her time between there and Mornington. 

After her sister Kirsty and her boyfriend split up she and her daughter moved in with Lianne but it was a bit cramped in her flat so when the opportunity of a house in Mornington presented itself she snapped it up. 

 

Lianne had always loved the village and had often dreamed of living there but never dared hope that it might actually happen.

She couldn’t imagine why no one else was prepared to work there but she didn’t think about it often after all their loss was very much her gain.

She wasn’t unhappy in Finchbottom but deep down she was a country girl at heart and the added strain of having her sister and niece living with her in a flat design for one was telling.

So a three bedroom house in Mornington was manna from heaven and they all loved living there.

Sasha was looking forward to starting at the village school in September and Kirsty hoped to get part time work up at Mornington Field once the premises were let.

The only downside for Lianne living in Mornington was having to journey to Finchbottom three days a week and battle through the rush hour traffic on the Expressway.

She would have liked to work all week in Mornington but there just wasn’t enough dentistry required for that.

But her tortuous journeys turned out to be relatively short lived as at the beginning of November she was asked to work at the Highfinch practice for three days a week instead of Finchbottom and she didn’t need asking twice.

It was further to drive than Finchbottom but it was a much easier one.

 

The reason for the change was because three of the existing staff in Finchbottom had been in a lottery syndicate and won the jackpot.

Good fortune for them and as it appeared, good fortune for Lianne.

 

Because it was a greater distance the company had agreed to provide bed and breakfast accommodation in Highfinch which meant for Lianne that for her three days she would be able to stay over for two nights on expenses, so she thought she had really landed on her feet.

 

It was early on morning of the 3rd of November when she set off from Mornington and she was very excited at the prospect of starting at a different practice in a village she had never been to before and of course meeting new people.

 

On her arrival she was greeted by the practice manager, Rachel Bradley, and another dentist Jonathan Walters.

Jonathan was also a newbie, from Sharpington, although he had a two week head start on her, he was tall, dark and handsome with penetrating blue eyes, a square jaw and a dimple, perfect skin and a marvelous smile.

He stood tall and proud and his physique was slender, he was well-toned, athletically sculpted and was very well groomed.

And the very moment he said

“Hello Lianne” she took an instant dislike to him.

 

The very moment that Jonathon Walters said

“Hello Lianne”

She took an instant dislike to him.

He was everything that she was not, he was tall and she stood 4ft 10 in her socks, his hair was dark and luscious and hers was mousy and wayward, he had penetrating blue eyes while hers were grey and a bit squinty, he had a strong square jaw and a dimple, she had a pointy chin with a mole on it.

Jonathon had perfect skin and a marvelous smile Lianne had a face full of freckles and her smile was lopsided.

He had a sportsman’s physique and was built like an athlete, Lianne was not, she was slim though and despite her imperfections she was not unattractive but she was not sporty by any stretch of the imagination.

And finally he was well groomed without a single hair out of place and she, despite having spent longer than normal on her appearance, looked like she’d been dragged through a hedge backwards.

 

However Lianne’s savage self-assessment would not have struck any cords with Jonathon because he saw someone altogether different to the person Lianne imagined herself to be and his first impression of her was a very positive one.

 

Because they were both newbies, Practice manager Rachel Bradley, tasked Jonathon with showing Lianne around the practice and doing the introductions and then showing her the places of interest in the village finishing off at the end of the day at the Greenwood Guesthouse and introducing her to landlady Janita Front. 

“Good evening Jonathon” she said warmly “And who have we here?”

“Hi Janita, this is my new colleague Lianne” he said

“Smarmy git” Lianne thought to herself

“Pleased to meet you Lianne” Janita said warmly and shook her hand “I’ve put you across the landing from Jonathon”

“Oh lovely” she said but in her head she continued

“As if it’s not bad enough that I’ve had to put up with the condescending ponce all day strutting around like he’d been there for years, now I find we’re staying at the same B&B”

 

She avoided him at dinner that night by making an excuse about visiting and old friend and hid in the Church for a while and then drove around until she found a pub that did food.

Breakfast however was a different story but she decided that nothing was going to come between her and a full English so she just had to put up with him.

It got better for Lianne after that first week when they were both there together, because they settled down into a fixed routine, she was there Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday while he was there Wednesday, Thursday, Friday so she only had to tolerate him one day a week and one breakfast.

 

Over the following few weeks and months everyone told her what a lovely man he was, a gentleman, thoughtful, kind and considerate.

But she couldn’t see it, she just saw a smarmy condescending git.

 

On her first day in Highfinch when she was desperately trying to avoid Jonathon, she ducked into St Martin’s church and got talking to the Curate, Jenna Lawton and although she was not a practicing Christian or even any kind of a Christian for that matter they became firm friends.

And furthermore she made a good many friends in the village as she got close to her first anniversary in Highfinch, all of whom continued to tell her what a wonderful man Jonathon was.

 

After six months of temping Jonathon Walters was offered the position full time and it took him thirty seconds to accept and he even moved from Sharpington to the village and had a small house between the village and Kingfisherbridge just a stone’s throw from the guest house.

Lianne still found him annoyingly friendly and smiley and she still thought he was smarmy but even with him being at the practice full time she had managed to keep contact with him to minimum.

 

One evening in mid-September Jonathon was sitting in his house at the end of the day wondering just what he had to do to break down Lianne’s Defences, he had been nothing but pleasant to her, he was always friendly, polite, helpful, kind and he smiled a lot but she was unmoved.

Everyone told him what a warm friendly person she was but he hadn’t seen that side of her, but was still hopeful.

However that didn’t stop him from being in love with her, and it had been a year since cupids arrow struck and he was still no nearer a resolution.

He had asked her out countless times and she always brushed him off but he wasn’t prepared to give up on her.

 

While Jonathon sat in his house wondering how he could get through to Lianne, she was sitting in her room at the Greenwood guest house after having had a conversation with her landlady Janita Front who spent ten minutes extolling to her the virtues of Jonathon bloody Walters.

“Everyone loves Jonathon” she said

“Except me” Lianne said

“Why is that?” Janita asked with a quizzical look on her face “He’s so nice”

“So everyone keeps telling me” she said

“But he is” Janita said

“I can’t help it I just don’t like him” Lianne snapped and went to her room.

Once she was inside she heard Janita’s question repeating in her head

“Why is that?”

And in truth she walked away because she couldn’t answer that simple question, she didn’t know why she didn’t like him, she just didn’t.

She couldn’t put her finger on the reason, Jonathon had never uttered a single bad word to her in the ten months that Lianne had been working in Highfinch and nor had he done any deed that would have her incurred her wrath, he had always been “nice” in all their interactions, he was pleasant, friendly and polite, but when he was nice to her it made her dislike him even more.

About half an hour into her reflection her train of thought was broken by the telephone ringing and she cursed under her breath about the interruption before she answered it.

“Hello” she said flatly

“Hello Lianne, it’s Jenna” said the curate, although by then she was the de facto Vicar of St Martins while the Reverend Mortimer was recovering from a heart attack.

“Jenna Lawton”

“Hello Jenna, Jenna Lawton” she said lightheartedly Jenna always had that effect on her.

After a brief chuckle she continued

“The reason for the call is that I’m having an informal dinner party at the vicarage, well when I say dinner party I mean a takeaway curry, I can’t cook to save my life” she paused briefly “so if you’re free on Saturday night, it’s just beer, curry and Trivial Pursuits and you’ll know most of the others” 

On Saturday night she would be in Mornington and wouldn’t have contemplated travelling back to Highfinch on the weekend and would have politely refused but for two crucial reasons, firstly her 7 year old niece was having three friends to stay for a sleep over and secondly Jenna mentioned Trivial Pursuits, and Lianne loved Trivial Pursuits.

“I would love to Jenna” Lianne said, “Should I bring anything?”

“Only if you can drink it” she replied, “come about eight, bye”

 

After she hung up the phone she went downstairs to find Janita so she could book a room for Saturday night as it was obvious that driving back to Mornington would not be an option.

 

It was a lovely sunny summer afternoon as she left Mornington on Saturday and headed out into the country towards Highfinch and was looking forward to a stress free journey through the beautiful countryside of the Vale, which was beautiful enough but as she got closer to the Pepperstock Hills she knew it would get even more so.

The village of Highfinch sits just on the edge of the Pepperstock Hills and the Lily Green Hollows Golf Club separates the village from the Hamlet of Lily Green, and the combination of those two and Kingfisherbridge made up the parish of St Martins where Jenna Lawton was curate.

 

When Lianne arrived at the Vicarage, bang on 8 o’clock she was surprised to be told that she was the last.

“Come in” the Vicar said and handed her a menu “we’ve all chosen”

Lianne felt positively tardy.

Jenna Lawton had said that Lianne knew almost everyone and she was not wrong.

Jade Flowers, was the local Doctor and her practice manager

Lorraine Weaving, who was completely bald.

The two redoubtable village good eggs, middle-aged buddies Vicki Paulding and Julia Thomas, and their best friend Cressida van Meeuwen.

Local celebrity TV presenter Nick Faulkner, furniture maker Farron Sutherland and to her utter disbelief Jonathon Walters.

They were a mixed bunch, varying ages and occupations, a mix of the Godly and the heathen, the old and the young the sublime and the ridiculous.

The only one of the party she was annoyed to see was Jonathon Walters but she decided to put him out of her mind and concentrate on enjoying the evening.

 

Lianne was sure that once the wine had flowed a little she might mellow towards him or alternatively slap him in the face with a Nan bread.

They had an excellent curry and a liberal quantity of beer and wine was consumed, apart from Jade who was on call.

The conversation ebbed and flowed and the overall atmosphere was very congenial and as the evening wore on the Trivial Pursuit appeared to universal acclaim.

Sadly after about an hour and with Lianne’s team winning Jade was paged and had to leave and also took Lorraine with her, then just after midnight Cressida called it a night as she needed to get back for the sitter and Farron offered to walk her home so he left as well.

That left Vicki and Jenna on her team and they were narrowly in the lead over Julia, Jonathon and Nick and when both teams needed only one cheese she looked at the clock and saw it was 2 o’clock.

“Have you seen the time Vicar?” Lianne said “don’t you have work in the morning?”

“Ah no” she slurred “this week there is a combined service at St Bartholomew’s in Springwater and they don’t start until 6 pm”

Jenna gave a huge grin and raised her glass.

“Happy days” she said and took a drink most of which went down her chin.

“Now let’s finish the game” she said wiping her mouth on her sleeve.

“Oh yes I remember now” Jonathon said “are we all going?”

“Yes there’s a coach laid on” said Julia

It was 3.15am when Julia answered the winning question to great rejoicing.

“Well done” Lianne said “on behalf of my team and myself”

One of her team, Vicki was asleep on the sofa beside her and feeling no pain and Jenna was still missing her mouth with her wine and didn’t even realize the game was over.

“Home time” Julia said

So everyone said goodnight to the Vicar and Julia and Nick guided Vicki homeward, and after about fifty yards Nick exclaimed

“Damn”

“What’s wrong?” Asked Julia

“I never did ask Lorraine why she was bald” he replied

“She fell out of a tree when she was six” Julia answered

“Oh” he responded and was about to speak

“And she’s bald down there as well” Julia interrupted

“I wasn’t going to ask that” he protested

“But you were curious” she continued and he nodded.

 

Meanwhile Lianne and Jonathon slightly the worse for wear, were just leaving the vicarage and the moment the night air hit her so did the alcohol and she wobbled on her feet.

“Come on I’ll help you back to Janita’s” He said

“Why are you always so nice?” she slurred

“Because it’s less effort than being mean” he replied curtly and steered her towards the guest house, although it was further than his house it wasn’t too far out of his way, and he couldn’t leave her to her own devices in her condition.

 

Lianne awoke early in the darkness to the sound of the Beach Boys emanating from the clock radio, and she could just make out in the half light, a large hand reaching out from below the duvet and silencing it, but then something occurred to her.

“I don’t have a clock radio” she thought so she tried desperately to figure out where the hell she was and who exactly the owner of the large hand was.

She tried desperately to identify some point of reference in the room, anything that might yield a clue to her location.

The problem was that the brain processes what you can see and then fills in the blanks with things from your memory bank.

For example if you she an indistinct shape in the gloom your brain compares that shape to your memories and chooses the nearest one and then that is what you see but when your eyes become more accustomed to the darkness a sleeping dog on the floor becomes a dressing gown discarded the night before, or a sleeping child on the chair becomes a sweater dropped haphazardly.

But even being aware of that she was still struggling to identify any point of reference that would identify her location which was all to no avail, but then why would she it’s not as if she had made a habit of waking up in strange bedrooms over the years.

But just then a head emerged from beneath the covers and Jonathon Walters face appeared above the duvet and he smiled and said

“Good morning, I hope you slept well, I know I did”

“Oh my god” she exclaimed “What have you done?”

“Would you like breakfast?” he said

“Breakfast? Breakfast?” she yelled “So much for Mr. “Nice” guy, what kind of a man are you, taking advantage of a Defenceless woman”

“A hungry one” he replied and threw back the covers

“Urgh I don’t want to see you naked” she yelled

“Really you were happy enough about it last night, in fact you insisted and to encourage me you got naked first” he said

“Oh God I got naked” she simpered and lifted up the duvet to look at herself and did a double take “Ha! I’m not naked”

“Of course you’re not naked” he said walking across the room to the door in his PJ’s “Because I am not the kind of man to take advantage of a Defenceless woman”

“Yes but you got me into your bed and hoped you’d get lucky though” she shouted as she followed him out the door

“No” he snapped

“What do you mean no?”

“I put you in my spare bed, because you were too drunk to walk the rest of the way to the guest house” he explained “but you climbed into bed with me in the middle of the night because you were cold”

“But…” she began and then it all came flooding back to her, he had settled her in the spare room, but after no more than half an hour she had slipped out of the spare room and tried to slip into his bed, Lianne even begged him to let her get in bed with him and when he said yes she snuggled up to him.

She thought the fact that he had kept the more embarrassing details to himself was very much to his credit.

 

They sat at the kitchen table and ate breakfast in silence, although in truth it was lunch time and eating a fried breakfast at that time of day he in his dressing gown and she in the clothes she wore the night before, was all very decadent.

The silence was broken when there was a knock on the front door.

“Who’s that?” Lianne asked with panic in her voice and a look on her face like a startled rabbit.

“I don’t know” he replied “I’ll find out”

He closed the kitchen door and walked down the hall and he could tell by the shape through the glass it was his neighbour Frank so he opened the door.

“My God” Frank said “you do know it’s the afternoon” 

“Shut your face” he responded “I had a late night”

“I bet you did” he said “You lucky dog”

“I’m afraid not” Jonathon said “No princess for me”

“Oh well, better luck next time son” he retorted

“Maybe” he said “Anyway what can I do for you Frank?”

“Oh yes I almost forgot, I’m going to cut my front grass, do you want me to do yours at the same time?” Frank said

“That would be great thanks”

“Ok lad” he said as he walked away “I’ll be a couple of hours finishing off”

“Thanks Frank” Jonathon said and closed the door

 

Lianne had been listening to the conversation and the suggestion by his neighbour that he had brought back a conquest shocked her and although Jonathon had protected her honour she was still alarmed and ran upstairs.

 

Jonathon went back into the kitchen to find it empty so he went upstairs to find Lianne pacing around the spare bedroom.

“What am I going to do?” she said panic stricken

“Well don’t panic for a start” he said

“It’s alright for you” she shouted “everyone in this village thinks the sun shines out of your arse”

“Almost everyone” he said to himself

“What was that?” she asked as she continued pacing

“Nothing”

“What will people think” she ranted “if they see me leaving your house in what I’m wearing, in what I was wearing last night, in what I slept in last night, everyone will know I’ve been out all night”

 

Johnathon left the room while she continued her rant and returned a few minutes later carrying some clothes in his arms.

“The Jeans and sweater are my sister Molly’s, she’s a similar shape to you” he said handing Lianne the clothes “they may be a bit long in the leg, she’s taller than you”

“Everyone’s taller than me” she said without humour

“The pumps are hers as well but she doesn’t have the same size foot” Lianne looked at him and then ran into his arms

“You’re a life saver” she said and kissed his cheek and then he left the room again, and this time he returned carrying a small hold all

“Put your clothes in this and get dressed and I’ll see you down stairs”

While Lianne did as she was told he went to his bedroom and got dressed himself and went downstairs, and Lianne walked gingerly down the stairs to join him after about ten minutes.

 

When Lianne had joined him downstairs she waited nervously.

“Ok Frank’s busy out the front” he called from the kitchen where he was looking through the window.

“What now?” she asked as he walked towards her

“Leave the bag there” he said and took her by the hand and led her out through the kitchen and out the adjoining door and into the garage.

“Wait in there” he instructed, but she looked worried

“Don’t worry” he said and kissed her forehead and then he went back in the house and picked up the hold all and the car keys and opened the front door.

He went to the back of the car and opened the boot and threw in the bag.

There was a car rug in the boot so he picked that up and closed the lid again then he opened the rear passenger door on the driver’s side, threw in the rug and left the door open before going back in the house where he went straight through the kitchen and rejoined Lianne in the garage and told her what to do.

Jonathon took a deep breath before emerging from the front door and closing it behind him.

He gave Frank a wave before opening the garage door then he walked down the path to speak to him

“Hey Frank” he called “Is that a new mower?”

While he walked down the path Lianne crept out from the garage and onto the back seat of the car where she hid under the blanket.

“It is” he replied

“It’s a corker” he added “I’m off out now so I’ll see you later”

“Ok lad” he replied

“The grass looks great by the way” he said

Once he was sure Lianne was safely hidden he went back up the path and closed the garage door and quickly checked that she couldn’t be seen before he closed the passenger door and got in the car himself.

“I think your reputation is safe Miss Martin” he whispered

“It’s very exciting” she said quietly then she added

“I feel like a scarlet woman” and she giggled

“So do I” he replied

“You’re clearly sex mad” she said 

Jonathon looked in the rear view mirror as they drove though the village, Lianne was laying across the back seat completely covered by the blanket apart from her finger which were gripping the edge of the blanket and the top of her head.

Every time they passed another car or a pedestrian he shouted

“Hide” and the top of her head would disappear from view.

They went the long way round, partly because it was quieter but mainly because he was in no hurry to drop her off.

Once around the village was all he could stretch it to however and sooner than he would have liked he drove the car into the guesthouse carpark and having seen landlady Janita by the front door pruning shrubbery he parked as close to the side entrance as possible.

“We made it” Lianne yelled triumphantly from beneath the blanket.

“Yes, your reputation is unblemished” he agreed “But you still need to get inside”

“Oh yes I hadn’t thought of that” she said as Jonathon got out of the car and opened the boot and retrieved the bag.

“I’ll go and distract Janita” He said after opening the back door “so count to a hundred and then make a run for it”

“Ok” she said quietly “Thank you”

 

He walked casually around to the front of the building where Janita stood secateurs in hand.

“Jonathon!” she said “What a lovely surprise”

“Hello Janita” he said and kissed her cheek

“What brings you here?” Janita asked

“I’m just dropping this off for Lianne” he said indicating the bag he was holding “Is she about?”

“I haven’t seen her today, she didn’t come down for breakfast” she replied “How are you getting on with her?”

“Well I’m still hopeful” he replied

“Do you want to go and knock?” she asked

“No I won’t I’m going to Springwater this afternoon” he replied “So if I could leave this with you I’ll get going”

“Ok love” Janita responded and Jonathon kissed her cheek again and headed back to the car.

 

Lianne was inside and listening at the door when Jonathon said

“I’m still hopeful”

“He’s hopeful, he said he’s still hopeful” she thought “And I’ve been an idiot”

Everyone told her what a lovely man he was, a gentleman, thoughtful, kind and considerate.

But she couldn’t see it, she had been blind to his true character and she just saw a smarmy condescending git.

But his actions on that weekend had shown his true colours.

She listened some more and he said

“I’m going to Springwater this afternoon”

By the time Jonathon was kissing Janita’s cheek she was already opening the door to her room.

 

After leaving the guest house, Jonathon drove home and got himself showered and dressed and then he walked the short distance to the house of TV sportscaster Nick Faulkner.

 

Sunday for Nick didn’t properly begin until 1 o’clock and he didn’t feel a hundred percent.

However a shower, two mugs of coffee and some dry toast helped and he felt a lot better as he left the house at about 4.30pm after answering Jonathon’s knock.

They didn’t have to walk far as they were only going next door to Julia Thomas’s and Jonathon rang the doorbell and the door was opened by a young man.

“Hi Callum” he said “Is mum ready? 

“Yes” he replied “she’s just coming”

Julia appeared looking as fresh as a daisy and said

“See you later love” and kissed her son

Turning her attention to Nick she said “hello Nick, you look rough, Jonathon you look gorgeous as ever”

“Thanks Julia” they said and she laughed

Then the group moved on to Vicki’s and when she emerged even she looked ok considering what she put down her neck.

“Hello you three” she said and continued “goodness Nick you look a little green around the gills”

“We’ll try to get you home sober this time” she said

“Thanks mum” Nick said

Their next port of call was the vicarage and when the door eventually opened the vicar stood before them looking like death warmed over. 

“Good God” Jonathon said

“Heavens above” exclaimed Julia

“Right let’s get in the house” said Vicki taking charge.

“I have just the thing for what ails you vicar”

Vicki rummaged in her bag and fished out a medicine bottle with a dirty brown substance in it.

 

When the door to the vicarage eventually opened in response to their knocking the vicar stood before them looking like death warmed over. 

“Good God” Jonathon said

“Heavens above” exclaimed Julia

“Right let’s get in the house” said Vicki taking charge.

“I have just the thing for what ails you vicar”

Vicki rummaged in her bag and fished out a medicine bottle with a dirty brown substance in it.

“I’ll try anything” Jenna said pitifully about to sit in an armchair

“No don’t sit vicar” Vicki commanded, “You need to be ready to move”

Vicki handed the glass bottle to Jenna and said

“Take a good slug of that”

“And then what?” asked the Vicar

“You’ll know what” Vicki said

Jenna took a good long pull on the bottle and then licked her lips before saying

“That’s not as bad as it lo….”

She never finished the sentence as she turned a funny shade of puce and headed for the toilet.

The noises that came from behind the toilet door were best not described but left to the imagination.

When she emerged some ten minutes later she looked more like her old self.

Another twenty minutes after that she was fit to be seen in church but when they left the vicarage they were running late and when they reached the village green the coach was already loaded and waiting for them so they boarded quickly and apologies’ were made as they found seats.

Jonathon was going to sit next to Nick but then across the aisle he noticed another familiar face, which was smiling at him.

“There’s a spare seat here” Lianne said

He glanced at Nick who smiled and nodded and then he sat down next to her.

“I didn’t know you were coming” he said

“Nor did I until this afternoon” she replied

 

It wasn’t a bad service at St Bartholomew’s, a bit happy-clappy for Jonathans taste but it was ok, but then he wasn’t really concentrating, as for Lianne, who didn’t have anything to benchmark it against, was just happy to be there.

On the coach back to the village St Bart’s got mixed reviews although the general consensus was that it wasn’t as good as St Martin’s which made Jenna happy.

Lianne and Jonathon sat together again on the return journey and almost as soon as the coach pulled away from St Bartholomew she slipped her hand in his.

 

It was 7 o’clock when the coach returned to the village green and after disembarking from the coach a small select group of pilgrims decided on pub grub at the Downshire Arms, the vicar declined on religious grounds namely that she didn’t want any further communication with God on the porcelain telephone and Jonathon and Lianne who wanted to spend the evening together.

They could have been together in the pub over dinner but neither of them were in the mood to share themselves with others so they walked back to Jonathon’s where he cooked for her again.

Reluctantly after a couple of hours he drove her back to the guesthouse so she could collect her car for the drive back to Mornington.

Janita looked out of the window and smiled as they shared a lingering goodnight kiss.

He was sad as he watched her drive away but he was also content because she would be back again the next day.